Fallen
by Yinza
Summary: .Complete. Meteor is destroyed, and Aeris finds the Promised Land, but it brings her no happiness; instead she is drawn to watch the world below. Five years pass, and Sephiroth gets a second chance. Will he be able to defeat the spectres of his past? - Rewrite of Like Fallen Angels.
1. Prologue: Parting of Ways

**Prologue: Parting of Ways**

A soul flowed in the Lifestream. She was one with it, one with the other souls, one with the Planet's lifeblood--but not quite. Something separated her from them, a bond to the Planet far stronger than any they could possess. 

She sensed the foreign presence of a living being in the Lifestream and shifted her attention to it. This presence was accompanied by that of a dying man, a soul returning to the Planet, falling into the Lifestream, joining them, becoming one--but not quite. Was this soul different in the same manner in which she was different? Her memory called to her and negated the thought. This was Sephiroth. He was dead then? 

Then the other, the one who yet lived... Cloud? 

She strained herself and, for a moment, found sight, wonderful sight. Below her she could see Cloud, and she reached to him, willing herself back into being. 

But she was not alive; her soul alone could sustain nothing, and the image wavered and quickly died, leaving her sightless again. It was not so bad, to be entirely without senses. More often than not, she could not recall ever having had them. 

There was a swell of energy, a wave of anxiety and urgency sweeping through her and the souls around her. Meteor had begun its attack on the Planet, and Holy was not strong enough to stop it. The spell which should have repelled it instead was slowly becoming a part of it. 

She strained herself, strained her essence. She had no form, no shape, nothing but dim thought, elusive emotion, and fading awareness. Stretching, she felt the Lifestream surge with her, surge to stop Meteor. She willed it to stop with all that was left of herself and urged those around her to do the same, be they sentient or fragments of alien thought. By their effort, Meteor cracked, crumbled, died. 

She felt something brush at her and close around her. A calling, a summons which she was powerless to resist. It pulled her through the current, deeper and deeper, as though trying to drown her. She tried to struggle, but had no body with which to struggle. She tried to scream, but had no mouth with which to scream. She tried to look at her captor, but had no eyes with which to see. The force dragged her out of the Lifestream, and moments passed while she existed in this non-place. 

Then she suddenly recognized something in this summons, and she let even this faint consciousness begin to fade. Slipping, sliding away, like so many forgotten memories...

* * *

Aeris opened her eyes. Eyes...? She blinked and sat up with a start, looking around. Flowers surrounded her, brilliant reds and pale blues and glowing yellows among vibrant green leaves. She was in a field of wildflowers which spread as far as she could see, and the sky above her was a beautiful, clear blue. The place was familiar, and yet she knew that she had never been here before. 

She climbed to her feet, knowing instantly. _The Cetra will return to the Promised Land, a land that promises supreme happiness._ But what happiness was this? It was beautiful here, but nevertheless the place held nothing for her. Cloud was not here and would never be here. 

She heard voices behind her, some of them vaguely familiar, as though recognizable from a dream. Her ancestors. One of the voices was distinctly familiar, and Aeris turned around to face them. "Mother?" 

Ifalna smiled and stepped forward from the group. "Aeris... Welcome home." Her green eyes sparkled, her long brown hair was tied back in a ponytail of untamed curls, and she wore the same red dress that Aeris remembered. Her mother looked much the same as when she had last seen her, on the steps of the train station fifteen years ago, when she had been a child. 

Her mother was happy now. This was her Promised Land, and the Promised Land of all the other Cetra, Aeris realized, seeing similar welcoming smiles on all their faces. 

She managed to smile weakly in response and shook her head slightly. She doubted that she could ever be so happy here. 

Ifalna tilted her head in concern. "What's wrong?" 

She dropped her head and studied her feet. "I... Cloud..." She trailed off, unable and unwilling to articulate. 

Her mother seemed to understand perfectly. "You love him," she said simply. 

Aeris looked up sharply at the words. She was almost surprised, but it was true, wasn't it? She had fallen for Cloud, and she hadn't even gotten to tell him. 

"But you won't be able to see him again," Ifalna continued, eyes showing sympathy but voice firm. "You have to let go. All of us had to learn to let go." 

She felt tears come to her eyes. She didn't want to let go. How could she? She swallowed and wiped ineffectually at her eyes. Crying would do her no good. "Why couldn't I have stayed in the Lifestream?" she asked. "Then, someday, maybe I'd meet him again." 

Her mother shook her head sadly. "It... doesn't work that way. You felt it, didn't you? Our souls aren't quite like those in the Lifestream. We don't belong there. You must understand, as many of us did, that you won't be able to have contact with your friends. You can do whatever you want here, but when it comes to the real world... We cannot interfere in any way. There are no more Cetra left, no more links to the world of the living. We can watch, but nothing more." 

Lowering her gaze, Aeris stared again at her feet and studied the flowers crushed beneath her large brown boots. At length she regained her composure and looked up. "I want to watch him then. If I can't be with him, I at least want to see him." 

Ifalna nodded, although there was some reluctance in her manner; surely she was worried that her daughter would not be able to let go. Aeris followed her blindly as she led the way through the field of flowers. She paid no attention to her surroundings, not caring what this place looked like. A prison was a prison. She tried to resign herself to her fate. She was aware, but not alive, and she was lucky to have that consciousness, wasn't she? Only the Cetra had that luxury. But was it really a luxury? Who would want eternity if it was this lonely? 

At last they stopped, and Aeris finally looked up again. Soft green grass spread beneath her feet, and a glittering lake stretched out in front of her. Scattered thickets stood on the edge of this side of the lake, and a forest on the far side. Nearby, a cluster of tall trees held a small house in their boughs. 

Her mother waited a moment for her to take in the view, and then led her up the ladder to the house. Inside was a cozy-looking living room. A soft couch sat against one wall, a table occupied the center of the room, resting atop a brightly-colored woven rug, and a rocking chair sat motionless in one corner. The opposite wall held a broad window with a cushioned seat built into it. Sunlight streamed in, stretching across the seat, the table, the sofa. 

Gesturing for Aeris to make herself comfortable, Ifalna walked through the door on the far side. Aeris sank down onto the soft cushions of the sofa and stared at the wood grain of the table. Her mother returned a moment later, setting a fair-sized mirror down before her. She blinked and looked up questioningly. 

"Mirrors here allow you to look into the real world, if you want them to," Ifalna explained. "At least, that's the easiest way of going about it." 

Aeris nodded and turned to the mirror, absently studying her reflection. "So, I can see Cloud through this? I can watch him...?" 

"Yes." 

"How?" she asked. 

Ifalna smiled softly. "All you have to do is want it." 

Aeris looked into the glass, willing it to show her Cloud. She started as her own image disappeared, replaced by another. The Highwind, now an airplane, had landed once more at the edge of Northern Crater, and Cloud stood at its edge, shaking his head. Rock had crumbled from the side, making any path downwards quite impossible. Aeris leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. Watching him, perhaps she could forget herself and her loneliness.

* * *

Cloud shook his head and turned away from the crater's edge to climb back onto the Highwind. He strode past the others without meeting their gazes and stopped before Cid. "Let's go," he said levelly. "She's not there." 

The pilot nodded silently, and within minutes the Highwind was back in the air, speeding southward towards Gold Saucer. Somehow it seemed a fitting place to say goodbye; that was the last place, besides the Temple, where all of them had been together. They were short one person now, of course, and in decidedly lower spirits. A few of them could make their way home from the amusement park, and the others would likely leave with Cid. 

The ship landed outside of North Corel, and the eight of them filed out. They walked through the dusty street, past the disheveled tents and crumbling houses, and on up the steps to the ropeway. They climbed into the car, which soon pushed off from the station with a jolt. Those who were standing staggered slightly. Cloud watched out the window, though there was little to see; it was dark, and below them there was nothing but desert. 

They all made the short trip in silence, thinking of the one who had saved them, the one who had sacrificed the most, the one who was now absent. It did not seem at all fair. 

Even Gold Saucer was silent, the cheerful music no longer playing. The lady at the entrance seemed surprised to see them, but she said nothing and did not ask to see their passes. 

They assembled in the main hall of the Ghost Square hotel, in much the same manner that they had the night Cloud had gone on that one date with Aeris--except that Aeris was not there. She was somewhere in the Lifestream or, perhaps, in the Promised Land, wherever that might have been. 

Cloud took up his position by the door and looked at each of them in turn, wanting to remember their faces this night. 

To his right, standing by the unattended chess table, was Barret. He stared at his feet, probably thinking about Aeris like the rest of them and worrying about the people in Midgar. Above all, he was wondering if Marlene was safe, wondering where she was, wondering when he would next see her. Maybe now that the Planet was safe, his little girl could have a normal life. 

Yuffie stood nearby with a defiant grin on her face, as though she had just marched straight into Hell and come back with barely a scratch. Cloud supposed this was true enough, and maybe they all should have been grinning. After all, hadn't they defeated Sephiroth and saved the Planet? Hadn't they done what they had set out to do? But they had lost something along the way, and Yuffie seemed to be the only one who didn't feel that now. 

Cait Sith sat in front of the stairs, his stuffed body incongruous with the emotions he surely felt. Normally cheerful, all he managed now was to offer Cloud a half-hearted grin. He, too, was thinking of Aeris, maybe recalling the last time he had spoken with her; at the Temple of the Ancients, he had foretold a happy future for her and Cloud. They should have known that the cat's fortunes were rarely accurate. 

Vincent occupied the corner below the stairs, his crimson gaze fixed upon the floor. Normally he showed no emotion whatsoever, as if to prove his assertion that he had none, but in his fatigue a deep sadness and loneliness belied his words. Cloud had to wonder what was weighing down _his_ thoughts. He wondered, too, where the man would go now. He had never seemed to have any purpose beyond revenge, nor had he ever spoken his mind. 

Cid sat in a chair to Vincent's left, his spear propped against the wall nearby. He was smoking, as always, and he looked more anxious than tired. He probably wanted to return home and repair the Highwind. And maybe, however much he denied caring about her, he missed Shera. Cloud was sort of hoping that they would get together. It seemed strange that they hadn't already. 

Nanaki lay sprawled on the floor near the door to the back room, his fiery tale swishing idly back and forth. He looked exhausted; he had fought hard, and now the spell-casting and the battling tooth-and-claw had taken their toll on him. His gaze rested wearily on the floor, and Cloud wondered if memories of Bugenhagen were weighing him down, too. Nanaki could return home a proud warrior, but he no longer had any family to greet him. 

Tifa stood to Cloud's left, preoccupied with her thoughts. She did notice his glance, though, and cast him a weak smile before returning her gaze to her feet. He wondered what was bothering her. It wasn't only the memory of Aeris's death, and she hadn't seemed too dismayed by Midgar's destruction. There always seemed to be something that she was hiding from him, and he could never figure it out. Maybe now, with nothing else in the way, he could figure out how to ask her what it was. 

"Well," Cloud said finally, knowing that whatever he said would be inadequate. "It seems like our journey has come to an end. Sephiroth is dead. Shinra is falling apart. Midgar's been more or less destroyed. We don't have any reasons to stick together anymore, except maybe the shaky friendships we've developed over the past few weeks. We all came from different places, and I expect we'll all be heading back now." 

The others nodded their agreement and confirmation. Yes, those with homes to go back to were going home. Yes, they were tired of the fighting. Yes, they were glad it was over now. 

Yes, they wished there were some things that had happened differently. 

"I'll be going back to that villa in Costa del Sol," Cloud continued, and shook his head. "I've got no place else to go. If anyone wants to come with me, I'd appreciate the company. If not..." He shrugged his shoulders, a gesture they were all familiar with by now. 

"I think the rest of us're goin' home," Barret said. "Midgar's in ruins, but I ain't gonna abandon it." 

Cloud and Tifa both nodded their understanding, and then there was a silence. No one wanted to say anything more, because it seemed like goodbyes were all that they had to say, and those seemed too final. Slowly, quietly, the group dispersed. 

Barret was the first to go, anxious to see Marlene again. Cait Sith hurried after him, and his kitten's voice could be heard faintly outside, assuring the big man that the girl was all right. 

Yuffie went over to nudge Cid, telling him that he had to take her home, and thank the gods that she would never have to ride that hellish ship ever again. This, of course, produced a curse from the pilot as he stood, but to her credit, Yuffie said nothing about materia as she left. Cloud had told her before the battle that she could keep what she had on her, and although she had argued for more then, now she seemed satisfied. 

Vincent stepped from his corner and followed them like a shadow, catching Cloud's gaze on his way out and holding it long enough to make the blond uncomfortable. He looked down to find Nanaki near his feet. The feline bumped his head against Cloud's leg in a gesture of sympathy, knowing that he was still upset about Aeris. Then he turned and padded silently after Vincent. 

Tifa took a few steps towards him, and Cloud realized with some startlement that they were the only two left. She seemed anxious about something, and when he noticed her, she dropped her gaze to her feet. He waited awkwardly for a minute, and at length she lifted her gaze to his face. 

"Cloud, I..." 

He wasn't sure what she was trying to say, but he shook his head and pretended he did. Maybe it had something to do with Aeris; that _was_ what everyone was thinking about tonight. "I'll be all right, Teef," he told her, managing a weak grin and a shrug. "Time heals all wounds, right?" 

Tifa smiled hesitantly, but her gaze looked miserable. "Yeah, but... I..." She trailed off and shook her head. 

Cloud frowned; he had guessed wrong. "What's wrong?" 

"No, nothing's wrong, it's just that..." She sighed and looked down again, unable to say what she wanted to. 

He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "You can tell me later, okay?" 

She nodded, and he turned towards the door, opening it for her. She smiled at him as she walked out, and they walked together back to the ropeway station. They had to wait there for a moment for the tram to return, and when it did they climbed on in silence. Their gold chocobo, having been on the Highwind, was waiting for them none-too-patiently in North Corel. Their silence seemed to make it uneasy, but they held it for the ride eastward across the mountains to Costa del Sol.

* * *

Barret had never much liked Kalm, but tonight it seemed like the best place in the world. Cait Sith directed him to one of the houses, and the tall black-haired man who greeted him introduced himself as Reeve. Marlene, he said, was upstairs, and after that statement, Barret ceased to pay him any attention and ran upstairs. 

Marlene heard him coming and poked her head out of a room. "Papa!" she exclaimed happily. 

He swept her up into his arms, murmuring nonsensical words in an attempt to express how worried he had been about her. 

"Don't cry, Papa," Marlene chided, giggling. "Your whiskers hurt!" 

Barret wished that Dyne could be here now to see his little girl, already four years old, but Dyne was gone. He wondered how long it would be before he had to explain his absence to Marlene. Enough people had told her that she looked nothing like her 'Papa' that she knew this somehow made him not her father in the same way that most people had fathers. Eventually, he figured that she'd ask, and he'd have to tell her how Dyne had thrown himself off a cliff. It was not something he looked forward to, but she was only four. He had a few years longer to think about it. 

He shook his head slightly, taking her back inside the room so he could sit down. He rocked her gently back and forth. 

His hands weren't any cleaner than Dyne's had been, but he was finished with fighting. With Shinra gone, there was no need to fight. There was a hell of a lot of cleaning up to do, but no more battles, no more killing, no more worrying about his adopted daughter. He wouldn't have to leave her in someone else's care and face her anxious questions. Where was he going? When would he be back? Would he be okay? No more of that. He could take care of her now that the fighting was over.

* * *

Reeve peeked into the bedroom where Barret sat, holding Marlene. He smiled, then turned and quietly walked back downstairs, not wanting to intrude on the father-daughter reunion. Nothing was holding him here anymore--he certainly wasn't going to wait around for some kind of thanks from Barret that he didn't deserve--so Reeve stepped out of the house, blinking in the morning sunshine. It was going to be a nice day, he decided, and stuffed his hands into his pockets, looking down. 

What was he going to do now? Shinra was gone, and he was out of a job--not that he had liked it very much anyway, always striving to protect what good was left in Midgar and failing miserably, dismissed with a few words from President Shinra. 

He had never really fit in with Cloud's group either; at first they had regarded him with incredulity and laughter, then with ceaseless suspicion when they found out he worked for Shinra. They had at last accepted him as an ally, but never as a friend. Out of all of them, Aeris had thought the best of him, but she was dead. 

Besides, Reeve considered, none of them knew him. They knew Cait Sith, yes, but what was Cait but a false persona, a cheerful stuffed cat about as different from Reeve as he could be? No, he wasn't like Cait Sith at all; he had just liked the escape he found in pretending to be happy. 

Kicking a stray rock on the blue cobblestone street, he glanced up, towards Midgar. Maybe he could go find the Turks. It would be easier to stick it out with them than on his own, even if it wouldn't be the same without Tseng. After the Temple of the Ancients, not one of them had seen him again, and all of them save Elena had accepted him as dead. He had to be after suffering a wound like that. 

Reeve sighed and picked up his pace as he walked out of Kalm towards what remained of Midgar. He could at least make himself useful in helping the survivors and see if Reno, Rude, or Elena were among them.

* * *

Vincent made his way south, walking across the dry land that marked the edge of the desert surrounding Gold Saucer and the ghost of South Corel. The Death Penalty hung at his side, and he lifted it mechanically to fire whenever some monster got in his way. He did not watch to see if the shot hit--he rarely missed--nor to see if the blow proved fatal. It did not matter, so long as nothing bothered him. 

It was nearing noon when he turned west and started up into the mountains. The steep and rocky slope slowed his pace only marginally, although he did have to pay closer attention to his footing and on occasion to use his claw to steady himself. 

The sun had already reached its zenith and begun its slow decline down the sky by the time he reached the summit, but it still illuminated the bottom of the valley. The water of the lake and the falls glittered in the sunlight, but the beauty of the view failed to stir anything in him. He barely even paused to take it in. 

Vincent started down the slope, taking his time although he knew that if she _was_ still here, her time was probably limited. That fact should have made him want to hurry to make certain he reached her in time, but he continued at the same pace. 

Nothing seemed to matter now, not even this. Thirty years of nightmares only to be awakened to kill Lucrecia's son? He had told her before that Sephiroth was dead, but he was certain that by now she was aware of the lie. Would she understand? Could she forgive him for that? 

_There is no forgiveness for you_, a voice in the back of his mind told him, and he nodded his agreement. No, there was no forgiveness for him, most especially not from _her_. 

It was mid-afternoon when he finally reached the bottom of the slope. His steps took him towards the waterfall, and still they did not quicken. The only emotion he had left was reserved for her, and yet he could not even muster enough of it to feel some anxiety for her? How pathetic. 

What he had said to Sephiroth was no longer true, if it ever had been. They had just been words, shouted in a moment when such strong words had seemed necessary. Now, they were meaningless. It seemed that it would be an eternity before his time finally came--if it ever did. 

Reaching the waterfall, Vincent paused momentarily, some kind of worry finally stirring in him. What would he do if he _did_ find her here? he wondered, but he pushed on through the waterfall before he could dwell on the question. 

It was surprisingly quiet once he had passed through the cascading water and into the hidden chamber. Lucrecia sat slumped on the floor by the pulsing light that was her altar. 

He strode to her and knelt silently beside her. 

She looked up at him with sad eyes. "Vincent," she said softly. "I was hoping... that I'd see you again, before the end." 

He frowned minutely. "You are dying, aren't you?" he asked, though he did not need to ask. The fact of it had lain in his mind since they had last seen her. A part of him only hoped against all logic that it was not true. 

She nodded in confirmation. "Yes, I am. I can feel it, that I'll be gone soon. Even the Jenova can't keep me alive forever. It can't keep bringing me back." 

Vincent said nothing. There was nothing he could say. 

"But... I wanted to tell you some things." She hesitated. "Most importantly, I want you to know that you never did anything wrong. None of this mess was your fault, and I certainly don't blame you for any of it." 

He opened his mouth to protest, but Lucrecia laid a slender finger over his lips, silencing him. 

"No, don't you even start. I won't have it. It wasn't your fault." She paused, waiting for his grudging agreement. "Secondly... I want you to look after Sephiroth." 

He blinked in confusion, and this time she let him speak. "But, Lucrecia... Sephiroth is dead." 

She shook her head. "Maybe he is now, but this isn't the first time he's been dead. I have died before, you understand. He'll have another chance. In five years' time, he'll return again, like he did before. The Jenova in him will heal him and resurrect him. Vincent, promise me that you'll look after him." 

There was a pause as Vincent hesitated. 

"Please, Vincent. I don't want him going through the same thing all over again." 

He nodded at that. "I will look after him. I promise." 

Lucrecia smiled in relief and leaned against him, closing her eyes. For an instant, he worried that the time had come and she would say nothing more. Why he should have been disappointed, he did not know. 

"There's something I want to ask you before I return to the Planet," she said very quietly, voice almost a whisper. 

He waited. 

She opened her blue-green eyes and drew back to look at him searchingly. "Do you still love me?" 

"Yes," he answered immediately, and he meant it. 

Her smile returned. "Good." 

He tilted his head, but she did not respond to his unspoken question. "Why do you say that?" he asked. 

She took his flesh hand and held it in both her own. "Because it's nice to know that you're loved back," she answered with something like regret in her voice. 

It took a moment before Vincent understood. When he did, he stared at her in open disbelief. 

Lucrecia's smile broadened, though she looked tired now. "Now, I have one last thing to ask of you, and I know it's going to be hard for you: I want you to kiss me." 

Vincent continued to stare at her, wondering if he had heart her correctly. He nearly asked her to repeat herself. 

She laughed softly and lifted a hand to touch his face. "Can it really be that hard, to kiss the woman you love?" 

He slowly freed his hand from her grasp and tentatively lifted it to her cheek. She had never said it, and still she had not really said it, but the implication now was stronger than ever before. Did she really mean it? Could she? He studied her face, memorizing it, the patient smile on her lips, the warmth of her skin beneath his fingers. 

_I want you to kiss me._

He brought his face closer to hers, closed his eyes, and kissed her. When he pulled back, there was gratitude and relief in her eyes. She leaned against him again, and he held her close. If only this moment could last forever. If only he hadn't known that she was dying. If only she weren't dying. Whatever she said, it was still his fault. 

"Vincent," she said quietly, "it's time. I... wish I could have stayed with you, but..." She trailed off, shaking her head. She looked up at him. "Goodbye, Vincent." 

There was a burning behind his eyes that he did not recognize. "Goodbye, Lucrecia," he replied softly. "I love you." 

"I love you, too," she whispered. Her blue-green eyes closed. Her chest rose and fell and did not rise again. He could no longer feel her heart beating. 

Vincent sat motionless, holding her still form, and found himself blinking back tears as the warmth seeped from her body. At length he succumbed to them, lowering his head and weeping silently, the noiseless sobs shaking his body. 

Some time later, he did not know how long, his crying abated and he wiped his face roughly on his sleeve. Lucrecia was dead, and this time it seemed final. The Jenova cells, as she had said, could not keep bringing her back. 

He laid her limp body before the dimmed altar, and paused beside it. He had failed her time and time again, but he vowed that he would respect her wishes and look after Sephiroth when the time came. 

Vincent straightened, turned from Lucrecia's still form, and left the cave. His pace was swift but unhurried as he returned over the mountains and plains to Nibelheim. It was late evening, and the sky was dark when he returned. The streets were empty, most of the houses dark. No anxious faces peered at him through the curtains, and it was just as well. 

He entered the mansion silently, made his way down to the basement, and climbed back into his coffin. He would not be needed until five years hence, and until then his nightmares and demons could have their way with him.

* * *

Nanaki paused at the bottom of the stone steps, looking up at his home town from below. It looked just as glorious as it always had, with the afternoon sun setting the canyon's walls aflame, contrasting brilliantly with the deep blue of the sky. The windmills turned slowly and deliberately. He could hear the people of the canyon conversing, relief over the previous night's events coloring their voices. Enticing smells wafted from cook fires, from foods being prepared for some sort of celebration, no doubt. 

But it would not be the same without Bugenhagen. 

Nanaki sighed, almost tempted to turn around and sleep outside the village. He did not want to take part in the festivities; he was too tired, and he missed Bugenhagen. But he did want to go home. Surely the villagers would understand, and they would grant him the rest he desired. 

He hauled himself up the last of the steps, nodding absently to Ira, the gatekeeper, as the man welcomed him cheerfully. Many more of the villagers let out cries of joy when they saw him and hailed him as the great warrior Nanaki. Their voices died down when they saw how tired he was, and they parted for him as he made his way to the inn, where he had a room in the back. 

His room was dark and circular, hung with old woven cloth and dark skins, lined with various pillows and large enough to comfortably house at least ten of his kind. But there was only him. He collapsed on a pillow near the entryway and quickly fell asleep. 

His dreams were muddled and bittersweet, full of the pained yells of the Gi tribe as his father Seto tore through them. He dreamed of his mother, too, telling him with sad eyes that his father had run away. And last, briefly, he glimpsed Seto standing atop the cliff, roaring defiance as the poisoned arrows of the Gi sank into his flesh. 

Nanaki awoke during the night, leaping to his feet and looking wildly about for his father and his mother. He realized slowly that both were long dead, and he was no longer a frightened and helpless cub. 

He padded quietly from his room, easily avoiding the notice of those few people still awake. It was long past midnight, he construed, and closer to morning, or the villagers would still be partying, celebrating Meteor's destruction and the return of their guardian Nanaki. There would be more parties throughout the week, he knew. Perhaps he would be up to participating in the next one. 

He continued silently up the stairs into the tunnels of Cosmo Canyon and soon found himself before the great sealed door that led into the cave of the Gi. He remembered where the hidden switch was, and he pushed it with his nose. The door slid open with a groan, and Nanaki entered swiftly. 

The dark passageways proved no difficulty. He could see well enough, and the ghosts that lingered warily avoided the son of the warrior Seto. He reached the end of the wide tunnel where the ceiling pulled back to reveal the moon, and his father silhouetted against its light. He did not pause until he had scaled the cliff and stood beside Seto. He looked up at the stone face, the mouth set in a ferocious snarl, the warning in that stance despite the arrows that protruded from the stone flesh. None of the living would dare pass this way, and even the dead seemed skittish here. 

Nanaki nuzzled his father's cold flank. "I have returned a warrior," he said, fighting the waver in his voice. "I am finally worthy to bear the name Nanaki, son of Seto." He waited, as though his words could magically bring the life back into his father's body. Nothing happened, and Nanaki lay down to mourn his parents, his grandfather, and Aeris.

* * *

Yuffie stopped short, studying her hometown of Wutai across the short distance that remained. Her grin faded as she stared at the buildings in the setting sun. The beautiful sight failed to comfort her. She felt in her pocket for the materia she had been allowed to keep. Aside from the Leviathan materia and the few orbs she had had from the start, she hadn't acquired much. Only a measly eight materia. After the battle, she hadn't cared enough to argue for more. Who cared about materia after going through something like that? 

But what would her dad think? Eight was pretty pathetic. He had wanted her to nab all of it, she was sure, since Cloud and the others wouldn't have much use for it now. But then, what use would Godo have for it now that Shinra was out of the picture? He'd always been greedy. Maybe she took after him a little in that respect. 

She crossed her arms suddenly and shook her head sharply. "I don't care," she declared to no one. "That lazy old goat's not gonna get any of _my_ materia! He never did a thing to deserve it!" _He didn't even manage to save Wutai._

The thought made her uneasy, and she nearly pushed it out of her mind. "Well, that's because he's pathetic," she decided. "Yuffie Kisaragi can sure as hell clean up this dumpy tourist attraction." 

Sticking her tongue out at the town, Yuffie crossed the remaining distance and marched confidently in.

* * *

Cid turned the Highwind away from where he had dropped off Yuffie and headed back towards Midgar. His crew had decided that they wanted to help with the clean up, so he would let them off at the ruins and pilot the airship-turned-airplane solo back to Rocket Town... and Shera. He was damned if he was going to admit it to anyone, but he actually did love the woman. Hell, wasn't that why he'd aborted the launch of the Shinra No. 26 to save her life? 

He was anxious to get home, and so when he saw the tiny figure waving her arms up at him, he regarded it dubiously. He was bringing the Highwind down near there anyway, and as they grew closer he could identify the figure as Elena of the Turks. _What the fuck does she want?_ he wondered, curiosity battling fatigue and the desire to return home. 

It had to be something pretty urgent if she was desperate enough to wave _him_ down, Cid reasoned, and he could always turn her down if her request was too outrageous. He set the ship down, nodding to himself, and headed out with his crew.

* * *

He did not know how or indeed why he had held on for so long. He did not know how he had endured the pain or survived the blood loss, even with his few successful cure spells. He knew only that he was waiting for someone, though whether she had brown eyes or green, blond hair or chestnut, a manner loud or gentle, he could not recall. 

There had been a promise he had made, and another he had broken many years earlier. And with them, a desire to fulfill the first, and to atone for the second. Though with death threatening to claim him at each ragged breath, he did not know how he could accomplish either. 

Tseng became aware of a rustling of brush, and slowly realized that the sound indicated that something was coming towards him. He wondered almost hopefully if it was a monster; perhaps the thing could finally finish what Sephiroth had not. He had just barely managed to crawl out of the Temple and hide himself here, but no one had come looking for him. Apparently they all assumed he was dead. Sephiroth's blows were usually fatal, after all; he had only left Tseng alive so that he could show Cloud the way. 

He heard a voice exclaim something from very close by, but in his hazy state of mind, he could not make out the words. It was a woman's voice, and he thought that he should have recognized it, but he could not. A moment later, he felt the pain subside, and he perceived belatedly that someone had cast a cure spell on him. 

He struggled to open his eyes, but at first he could see nothing but a blur of darkened colors. He blinked several times and then focused on the figure of a blond woman--Elena, he remembered--crouching beside him. She looked worried. He tried to speak, but his throat was dry and he only coughed raggedly, wincing. 

Elena bit her lip and turned to someone behind her. "Do you have any water?" she asked hopefully. "Or could you... could you get some?" 

The figure left silently, and Elena turned back to Tseng. 

"You just hang in there, okay? You'll be all right." 

He could only shake his head. He didn't think there was any recovering from this. It would take some powerful healing magic to mend him. 

The man returned, handing Elena a canteen, and this time Tseng recognized him as Cid Highwind. He wondered what the man was doing here. Elena held the canteen to his lips, and he drank gratefully. 

"What happened to you?" she asked. "We all thought you were dead. Did Cloud--?" 

He grunted and managed to speak this time, although his voice rasped painfully. "No, Sephiroth... It was Sephiroth. Why... why did you... come back?" 

She shook her head slightly. "I don't know. I just thought... Well, no one found your body, and I thought, 'what if he's still alive back there?' With Rufus dead, Shinra's falling apart, so there was nothing to keep me from coming back here. Meteor's gone, too," she added. 

"Meteor...?" 

"Oh... That's right, you don't know. Once you get better, I'll have to fill you in on everything you missed." 

He tried to speak, to explain that he was dying, but his voice caught in his throat and he coughed again. This time he tasted blood in his mouth. Elena held the canteen for him and he drank again. "I... I don't think I'm going to make it," Tseng told her, enunciating carefully. "This wound is--" 

"No," Elena interrupted, shaking her head fervently. "No, you'll be all right. A few good cure spells and you'll be fine. Here, I'll--" 

"Don't... waste any spells on me. This wound... is too bad." 

Her eyes were glistening with tears, and she kept shaking her head. "Don't talk like that. You'll be all right." 

"No. No, I won't." 

She bit her lip again. A tear ran down her cheek. 

Tseng tried to smile, but he had never been very good at smiling, and he failed. "Don't cry," he told her. "I was... already dead, right?" 

She shook her head once, sharply. "No, you're not going to die!" she said desperately. 

His breath was coming raggedly; he didn't have much time left. "Tell Aeris... that I'm sorry. I should never have... become a Turk." 

Elena blinked in momentary confusion, and then she said gently, "Tseng... Aeris is dead." 

"Tell her... anyway," he insisted. 

She nodded silently, the tears streaming down her face now. She did not seem to notice. 

Tseng managed, with great effort, to lift a bloody hand to her cheek. _So much for that dinner_, he thought regretfully. "I'll see you again someday," he told her softly, with a sudden certitude. His next breath failed him, and he closed his eyes. Everything faded away into nothingness.

* * *

Tifa opened the door a crack and peered into Cloud's bedroom to see if he was awake. She found him lying on his back, hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. He looked wide awake, in spite of his fatigue. He hadn't seen her, and she hesitated. No, she was going to go through with this. Even if he didn't love her back, she had to tell him. With Aeris gone... Well, maybe she could comfort him. 

She opened the door farther, and he sat up, looking over at her. She walked over and hesitantly sat across from him on the other bed. "I... um, I wanted to talk to you," she began nervously. 

"Okay," Cloud said slowly. "Is this about that thing you were trying to tell me before?" 

She nodded biting her lip. 

"So what's bothering you?" he asked. 

Tifa wished she could be calm about this, but it was _so hard_ to tell him after all this time. She couldn't help thinking that Aeris would have had no trouble with it. "Cloud, I..." She shook her head. She couldn't just say it, could she? "I don't know how to say this," she admitted sheepishly. 

"Just say what you're thinking," Cloud told her, not seeming to understand what was so difficult. 

She smiled at his attempt to help. "Yeah, I guess. Well, you see, you're... more than a friend to me, and..." She trailed off, not knowing the right words. At least she had managed that. She took a deep breath and let it out shakily, not feeling any less anxious. 

Cloud was watching her with uncertainty. His expression did not help. 

"I mean," Tifa plowed on, "I know you... you love Aeris, but..." She swallowed and forced herself to meet his gaze. "I love you, Cloud." There. She had finally said it. It was out with. He knew. Nothing more was required of her. 

He stared at her, mouth working but no words coming out. It did not surprise her; all this time, he had considered her a good friend and nothing more, never suspecting that she might think of him differently. Still, she had been hoping for something besides shock. He could have looked happy to know it. 

"But... but, I thought..." he stuttered. 

Tifa lowered her gaze to the floor, feeling silly. She could feel her cheeks darken. "When you left Nibelheim," she began, feeling as though she had to explain herself, "and I had you make that promise, I didn't want you to go. I guess... that was when it started. But I waited too long to say anything. I know you don't... love me back, but I had to tell you anyway." 

Cloud nodded slightly in understanding. He looked down at his hands, and an awkward moment passed. "Tifa," he said eventually, "you've always been a good friend to me, my best friend, but... I don't know what to say..." 

She looked up and found herself meeting his gaze. He looked guilty. "You can't help it if you don't feel the same way, so don't worry about it. I'm more worried about you... because she's not here for you." 

He dropped his gaze, the guilt replaced by sadness. "I don't know what to do," he admitted. "I really thought... that I was going to see her again. I almost thought I did, but I guess she's in the Promised Land now. I hope she's happy there." 

Tifa nodded in agreement and waited for him to speak again. 

At length he asked softly, "Tifa, what are we going to do?" 

The question surprised her, and she looked carefully at Cloud. He really did look lost, and she wondered what she could say to him. To some degree, maybe they were in the same boat, both wanting someone they could not have, but at least she could stay by his side so long as he let her. Aeris was dead, and that was someplace he could not follow. 

"We don't have anyone or any place to go back to," Cloud went on, "not like everyone else. There's just the two of us here, not knowing what to do." 

It was funny how saving the Planet had ripped their lives apart anyway. 

"Cloud," Tifa said gently, trying to smile, "I've thought that a lot of times. You left Nibelheim and I didn't see you for a long time, and then I lost Nibelheim, too, and then Sector 7. But, there's always something left. You may not love me, but I can at least stay by your side. Even if we don't know what to do, we can at least stick together, right?" 

He nodded, and although he didn't look comforted, he managed to return her smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Because of the major changes that occurred between the original "Like Fallen Angels" and this version, I decided I'd make mention of them. Because we all love commentary, right? Right. (Yes, I'm bored.) 

Anyway, here we have what was originally chapters 1 and 2. When I was through with the major editing, I decided to combine them and call them the prologue, mostly because that meant I had a nice 45 chapters instead of 47, partly because it makes more sense to separate this from the rest of the story anyway, considering these events happen five years prior to the meat of it. 

Man, looking back, I was really mean to Yuffie in the beginning. I didn't used to like her because the whole materia-theft episode really annoyed me, but during the course of writing LFA, she became one of my favorite characters, something which made the original a little lopsided in representing her. That's one of the things I've tried to remedy. I also think how I handled Tseng's death in this version is a big improvement on the original scene, which was just sort of... corny. It also didn't explain how Elena got there to begin with. 


	2. Who Am I?

**Chapter 1: Who Am I?**

Vincent lay awake in his coffin, knowing that it was almost time. For five years, he had relived his past mistakes, watching himself make them over and over again and unable to stop himself. Now that it was nearly time, the nightmares had released him, and he lay here letting his thoughts wander. It was a pointless endeavor; his thoughts always travelled back to Lucrecia, whether in nightmares or in the waking world. He could not tear his mind from her. 

She had told him that none of this was his fault, but he could not accept that. He had known that Lucrecia would only get hurt if she went through with the Jenova Project, and he had done nothing. He had told himself that if she was happy with Hojo and the project, then he would not interfere, even knowing that something terrible would come of it. He had only argued once on the matter, and afterwards he had done nothing to save her. 

He should have protected her. 

He should have watched over her as the project continued and found a way to save her. Instead he had abandoned her, telling himself that she did not need him. He should have protected her from Hojo. Instead he had left her in the scientist's care, trusting Professor Gast to look after her. And she had died. Gast had left for Midgar, and Hojo had let Lucrecia die because he no longer needed her. 

He should have stopped it from the start. He should have been able to save her from Hojo and persuade her not to go through with the project. How could he have let her do that to herself? How could he have let Hojo and Professor Gast inject Jenova cells into her body when he had _known_ how dangerous it could prove? 

He had abandoned her to die. The Jenova cells had brought her back, only to die again. She had lived in a ruined state of mind save for that brief moment of lucidity before her death. 

And she had told him that it was not his fault. 

She could not really mean that, could she? He had abandoned her, and consequently she had lost all possible chance of being happy. She had never even gotten the chance to hold her son. She was the only person who had ever cared for Sephiroth, and yet she had barely even seen him. After all that, how could she forgive him, let alone tell him it was not his fault? 

Vincent sighed, wishing that these thoughts of Lucrecia would cease to plague his mind, but knowing they never would. He loved her too strongly for her to fade from his mind, and he had failed her too miserably for him to cease suffering over it. He closed his eyes, hoping for at least some respite. Even a nightmare would be better than these thoughts, provided she was absent from it.

* * *

_Vincent awakened, but dared not move. His whole body screamed in pain, and he felt as though he _could_ not move. What had happened? He had tried to get help for Lucrecia, and Hojo had shot him. Shot him...? How was he still alive? The wound must not have been fatal. But it hurt so much... _

He opened his eyes and found himself staring up at a stone ceiling. He blinked a few times, then slowly, painfully turned his head to the right. Everything hurt. He felt as though he no longer fit inside his skin, as though it was stretched tight across his flesh and about ready to rip, and... 

His gaze met rows of books, and he struggled to recognize the place. He was lying on Hojo's lab bench in the basement, he realized, and a sudden fear gripped him. What had the scientist done to him? 

Vincent sat up quickly, wincing as he did so. His head spun, and he took a breath to steady himself. It did not help. He tried to ignore the feeling, swinging his legs over the side of the table, and had to close his eyes tightly for a moment. 

His left shoulder hurt more than the rest of him, but the arm itself felt numb. He opened his eyes, holding the hand in front of him, unable to feel the movement at all. He froze, looking at the arm in horror. Metal. It was metal, wickedly sharp fingers of metal, a shining arm going up to join his flesh at his shoulder. Vincent lifted his right hand, quivering, to touch the cold metal, half-hoping that it was not real, that this was a dream. But it was not. He could feel the sharp reality of it. 

Suddenly he felt something stir inside of him, some other presence that he had never felt before. It felt feral, violent... almost evil. Oh, hell no_, he thought. What had Hojo done to him? He felt his cells shift, the stretched feeling intensifying to an unbearable pain as his entire body began to _change_. He lifted his twisted head and let out a cry of pain in a voice that was not his own, but a deep animal howl. _

The creature that had been Vincent moments ago jumped off of the table, crouching low, head swiveling, long serpentine tail slashing the air. Its fangs gleamed in the dim light from the desk lamp, and its fierce eyes shown with bloodlust. It turned its eyes upon a figure entering the basement and readied itself to pounce, but several loud gunshots sounded and its awareness quickly retreated back into its human host. 

When Vincent awoke again, he found that he could not see. He blinked several times, but his vision did not clear. He lifted his flesh hand and found himself touching a wooden ceiling... No, not a ceiling. He searched around further with his hand, felt the velvet lining. A coffin. He was in a coffin. 

And... he could not breathe. His eyes widened in panic, and he tried to push the lid off, but it was too heavy. Had Hojo buried him alive? No; there was a room outside the coffin, he could tell that much. He realized suddenly that he had already stopped breathing. He felt at his neck and found no pulse. 

Was he dead? No, he could not be dead. What was_ he? What had Hojo turned him into? _

He yelled for help, but no one heard him. When his voice gave out, he banged his metal claw against the lid of the coffin, only stopping when he realized with a sinking feeling that no one would ever_ hear him. These efforts were futile. _

Vincent thought of Lucrecia, and prayed that she had not died--or worse, been used for another experiment as he had. Gast, please help her. Someone, please...

It struck him that he was alone, so utterly and completely alone. A moment later that he wished this were true; he could hear belligerent, inhuman voices growling in the back of his mind. He tried to push them away, unsuccessfully. 

How could this be happening to him? What other horrors would Hojo commit? Lucrecia, forgive me.

Then a wave of sleep overtook him, and he sank into nightmares.

* * *

The snow swirled around him, too thick for him to see anything through its haze. He took a step forward, the wind pushing against him, the icy air defying his every motion. But he made his way through it anyway, the snowflakes stinging his skin and his silver hair, tangled with tiny crystals, slapping at his face. He hefted the long sword at his side, and held up a black-gloved hand to push the hair and snow from his eyes. 

Through a lull in the storm, he thought he saw a town, but the moment passed, and the wind picked up once more, screaming in his ears and thickening the air with white. 

He made his way towards the village, latching on to it as a goal. For days, he had known no purpose in his wanderings, and only felt that he had to go somewhere, to see someone, to do something. He tried to keep a straight course, fighting against the wind. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the wind died down, the snow fell more lightly, and the town came into sight again, a little to his right. He turned in that direction, looking down to make sure that his numb fingers still clasped the hilt of his sword. It was still there, and he nodded to himself. 

It was perhaps the only link he had to his past now. He had awoken far to the north of here with only the clothes on his back and this sword. He could not recall who he was; he had tried to remember, but the memories that flickered just at the edge of his awareness unnerved him, and so he had ceased trying. 

He entered the town, walking past two children in thick jackets who had paused from their play to gawk at the swordsman. He stopped momentarily to study them in curiosity, but they turned and fled into a nearby house, dropping their snowballs, and slammed the door shut tight behind them. 

The man frowned slightly and continued down the path, stopping in front of a large building with a sign reading 'Icicle Inn.' He opened the door and walked inside, tracking snow onto the wooden floor. The innkeeper turned to him, about to say something, but just stood there, mouth agape, eyes staring. 

The black-cloaked man frowned in confusion. "Is there something wrong?" 

"A-are you..." The innkeeper gulped and took a breath. "S-Sephiroth...?" 

He shook his head minutely. "Who is Sephiroth?" 

The shorter man's eyes slid to his sword, then looked back up at his face. He quickly looked away from the swordsman's green-blue gaze and stared at the floorboards instead. 

"Who is Sephiroth?" he repeated. 

The innkeeper did not look up. "He... he looked just like you..." 

The black-cloaked man frowned and shook his head. "That explains nothing. Why are you so frightened of me?" 

The man gestured to to the long sword at his side. 

He looked at it with unease. "This? Did... did this 'Sephiroth' kill people?" 

"Yes, but... only Sephiroth could wield the Masamune--that sword," the frightened man told him. "You must be... You..." He trailed off anxiously. 

The swordsman stroked the hilt of the blade with his thumb. _Masamune._ He lifted his gaze again. "What happened to Sephiroth?" 

"He..." The innkeeper gulped, his eyes wandering to the sword once more. "He supposedly died. Five years ago. But..." 

"But now I am here. You think I am this 'Sephiroth'? How could he come back from the dead?" 

The frightened man wrung his hands nervously and shook his head. "I-I don't know. But... but he did it before." 

The swordsman frowned. "I was going to ask if you could give me a room, but it seems that I am not welcome here." 

"I don't want you scaring away my customers," the innkeeper said almost firmly, shaking his head. 

He sighed, nodded, and turned to leave. He opened the door, flinching slightly as he was greeted once more with icy air and a thin flurry of snow. He walked back out into the cold, looking over at another pair of children sledding down a nearby hill, apparently oblivious to him as yet. How carefree they looked. 

He shook his head and started up the hill. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the two children run, the sled falling to lie forgotten at the bottom of the hill. 

The swordsman left the town, heading in a direction which he estimated to be south. He could see mountains to the south and east, drawing a fraction nearer with each step. The snow in the air thinned, then stopped altogether, and he felt even more alone in the broad expanse of white with the town behind him and the mountains his only landmark. He concentrated on his footfalls, trying not to pay attention to this isolation. He grasped the Masamune tighter, trying, and failing, to glean some sort of comfort from the weapon. As an instrument of murder, it could provide no solace, but it was the only thing with which he felt familiar. 

At length the sun began to break through the clouds above, and as he went farther south, the cloud cover began to disperse entirely. Still the mountains inched slowly closer. 

The setting sun found him still striding towards the mountains with the same relentless pace. During the night he reached them and started up the rocky slopes, but by the time morning came, he had not found his way to the other side. His pace did not slow even on the rough terrain, though the thought crossed his mind to stop for rest. But he had been walking for days like this without rest; surely one more would make no difference. 

As the sun made its slow journey through the sky, he descended the slopes and left all traces of snow behind him. By noon, the ground beneath his feet was grassy and level. It made for a much easier trek. 

Sometime in the afternoon, he caught sight of the ocean, a glimmer of deep blue on the horizon. He walked towards that glimmer, and soon enough arrived at the beach where the sand choked the grass. He walked along side of it, headed eastward, appreciating this change in scenery only for a short while. Behind him the sun began to sink steadily lower, and he watched as his shadow stretched out before him, an imposing figure with a wicked blade. 

He knew that beyond this plain there lay a forest, in which lay his destination. There was a town there--he remembered that much--but he could not recall what it was called, much less any reason for him to head towards it. His memory failed him, though his face gave no outward sign of his frustration. 

Perhaps it was preferable to be without his memory. The villagers' fear of him and the blade he carried seemed to indicate as much. And yet, all he knew from before was cold and darkness, and surely there was something in his mind worth remembering.

* * *

Opening his eyes, Vincent stared up at nothingness. Here in his coffin it seemed that he could only see anything with his eyes closed; it was better to keep them open, but that way he atoned for nothing. 

A noise caught his attention, and he listened for a moment, surprised to hear voices. The mansion rarely had visitors nowadays. Teens would dare each other to go inside, but only a handful had ever entered, and none had made it to the basement. The heavy door creaked open; Vincent had left it unlocked in case one of the old Avalanche members had needed him. 

"Woah..." The voice belonged to an adolescent boy. He had no doubt come with his friends to explore the old Shinra mansion and see if there was any truth to the rumors that the place was haunted. 

"What is it, Mark?" asked a girl from the hallway. 

"There's like, a coffin in here," the boy replied. "A lot of coffins." 

The door groaned as it opened farther, and three sets of footsteps cautiously approached his coffin. 

"Guys, this is really creepy," said a third voice, another girl. "Let's go." 

"Oh, come on, Meg," said the first girl. "Don't you wanna see what's inside this one?" 

"_No_." 

"The lid looks heavy, Kel," said the boy. "You gonna help me out here?" 

Vincent decided that he had waited long enough. Five years had past, and now it was time. He lifted his arms and pushed the lid up and to the side, slow enough to give warning to the three teenagers. A shriek accompanied the movement. With the lid out of the way, he sat up, surveying the three who had come to disturb him. 

The boy and the braver of the girls stood near his coffin, but they were beginning to back away. The timid girl stood frozen farther back, holding a lantern. 

Climbing easily out of the coffin, Vincent started for the door. He had no intention of wasting his time on a group of children. 

But the girl holding the lantern was standing in his way, and she did not move aside. He stopped in front of her, and she stared back at him. 

"H-hey," the boy spoke up. "You leave Meg alone." 

Vincent glanced at him. "She is in my way," he stated, "and the three of you should not be down here in the first place." 

"Says who?" the braver girl demanded. 

"Logic," he answered simply. "I am not the only monster you may find down here, you understand." He pushed the motionless girl gently aside with his flesh hand and pulled the door open. 

"Hey, wait a second!" the boy yelled. "Who the hell do you think you are?" 

"My name is Vincent. That is all I will tell you, but the library down the hall has more information should you care to look. I do not, however, advise it." 

Vincent stepped out into the hallway and let the door fall shut behind him. The teens did not follow him, and he instantly forgot about them. As he climbed the stairs out of the basement, he wondered how much had changed while he had slept. Five years was a shorter period of time than thirty, to be sure, but the fall of Shinra may have led to some drastic changes. 

But he supposed it did not matter; no matter how much changed, some things would always remain the same. 

He exited the mansion, squinting briefly at the bright afternoon sunlight. When his eyes adjusted, he glanced around. Nibelheim looked much the same as it always had, but now he saw villagers in the streets, their eyes fixed anxiously on him. When Vincent had known the town, the streets had always been empty, but the fear was nothing new. 

He turned his gaze northward. Would Sephiroth be resurrected near where he had died? Near the Northern Crater? Or had he fallen into the Lifestream and been carried away to gods-knew-where? Northern Crater seemed the most likely option, and if Vincent could not find him there... Well, Cloud had wound up in Mideel, and he supposed that would be the second place to look. 

The quickest way to get to the northern continent would be to fly, but he did not want to involve anyone else in this, especially not Cid; the man would not understand. Besides, this was Vincent's task, and his alone. He would simply have to use his own methods of going north, however distasteful they might be.

* * *

Katrina managed to make it up the stairs to her room without running, though she very much wanted to. She nearly slammed her door shut, but checked herself and only closed it loudly. She locked it quickly and leaned against it, swallowing to push back tears. 

Her parents wanted to send her to live with her uncle in Junon. They had even written about it to him already, saying that she'd be there within the week. How could they have done such a thing without asking her? She and her uncle had _never_ gotten along; in fact, she practically hated him, although at the moment her parents ranked right up there with him. What were they thinking? 

She supposed they wanted her to get a job in Junon, since there were more opportunities in the city than in an out-of-the-way place like Bone Village. At eighteen, she was the right age for that sort of thing, but still. They should have asked her. Did they think she couldn't make her own decisions? 

A knock sounded at the door, and she heard her mother ask, "Honey, are you feeling all right?" 

"Yeah," Katrina replied, trying to sound like she meant it. 

Her mother lingered near the door for a moment, and then Katrina heard her footsteps going back downstairs. 

She took a deep breath and forced herself to think coherently. 

True, she disliked her uncle very much, but that wasn't the only reason she didn't want to go. She didn't like the city either. She still remembered what life had been like in Midgar--it had only been five years since they had moved here; of course she still remembered--and the memories were not pleasant. She had visited Junon once or twice, too, and the people there were just as cruelly complacent. 

She did _not_ want to go to a place that still reeked of that kind of corruption. 

So she would sneak away, Katrina decided suddenly. She would leave that night, sometime after midnight, after her parents had gone to bed. They would never suspect it of her because she never spoke with that kind of independence. Sometimes she probably even came across as meek. But Delphine always said she was the one to take action. Her parents just didn't know her as well as her best friend. 

The only question was, where would she go? She had always wanted to visit Cosmo Canyon, but although there was a small port to the south of Bone Village, she doubted she could afford the fare. She couldn't linger there until she had enough either; that was the first place her parents would look for her. 

It looked like her only other option was Snow Village. It was a long, freezing trek north and west, but no one would search for her there. 

She packed quickly and sat waiting on her bed as the sky grew dark. At length she got up and put her ear up against the door, listening. Nothing. Slowly, she turned the knob and stepped out into the hall, softly closing the door behind her again. She crept down the stairs, grabbed her heaviest coat from the front closet, and slipped out of the house. 

Luckily, there was no one around that night. Sometimes the excavators would continue working through the night, seemingly unaware of the time. The town had grown a bit after Meteor had destroyed most of Midgar and left thousands homeless, but it didn't get as many tourists as it once had. 

Katrina hastened out of the town and set off westward through the forest, her coat draped over one arm and her bag slung over the other shoulder. After half an hour or so she cleared the trees and craned her neck to look at the sky as she walked, admiring the full moon and the spattering of stars. She was glad to be walking under such a sky; it lightened her mood and made her feel delightfully free. She smiled, wondering who else was looking up at the same sky. 

She had been walking for several hours, she figured, when a sound in a thicket to her right caught her attention. Looking that way, a twinge of fear ran through her. A pair of gleaming yellow eyes shone in the darkness, and a wolf-like creature stepped towards her. Katrina took a step back, wondering desperately what she was supposed to do. She wasn't a fighter, and she hadn't thought to bring any sort of weapon. 

Several other pairs of eyes appeared behind the first. The leader growled and made to pounce for her, and she turned away, shutting her eyes tightly. She may have screamed; she wasn't sure. 

She heard something sing through the air that didn't sound much like a wolf, and felt nothing. 

Cautiously, she opened her eyes and turned to look. The wolf-creature lay on the ground a few feet away from her, its innards spilling out through a deep gash in its stomach. Katrina swallowed and cast about for her savior, seeing only more still dark forms lying on the ground. 

And then she saw of a pair of glowing blue-green eyes, and a silver-haired man melted out of the shadows. 

Katrina's breath caught in her throat when she she caught sight of his wicked-looking blade. When he started towards her, she gasped and stumbled backwards. First wolves and now _Sephiroth_? But how could he possibly be alive? Hadn't Cloud what's-his-name killed him five years ago? 

He stopped, and something mournful entered his eyes. "You are afraid of me, too?" he asked. 

She nodded dumbly, her eyes flickering to the sword. 

"I am not going to hurt you," he said gently. "I just saved your life; do you think I would contradict myself?" 

Katrina guessed he had a point, but... "But aren't you Sephiroth?" 

The swordsman shook his head. "I don't remember. A man in Snow Village said as much, but I can neither confirm nor deny it." 

"Oh." She pondered this for a moment. If he had no memory, did it really matter if he was Sephiroth or not? (Though he certainly looked like him, right down to the impossibly handsome part.) What mattered was that he had just protected her. If it hadn't been for him, she'd have been dead by now. "Well, that's good, I guess." 

"Why do you say that?" he asked. 

"Well, you see, if you were Sephiroth, and knew it, you wouldn't have bothered saving me," she explained, her gaze wandering to the Masamune again. The same unmistakable sword that had slaughtered thousands had been used to save her life. "But instead you stopped to help me. Um... thank you." 

He seemed unsure of how to react. At length he said, "You are the first person I have met who has not tried to run from me. The others were all terrified." 

"Well, I am, too," Katrina admitted. "Sorta." 

"What were you doing out here?" he queried, finally taking his piercing gaze off of her and looking around. "It is dangerous for someone like you." 

She dropped her gaze to the ground. "I was... um, running away from home." 

"Where did you intend to go?" 

She looked back up, surprised that he didn't think she should go back, but she realized that if he didn't know who he was, then there were probably some other things that he didn't know. It was just as well. "I want to go to Cosmo Canyon," she said, "but I can't really afford to make the trip. So I figured I'd head for Snow Village in the meantime." 

"I've just come from there," he stated with some measure of reluctance. 

"What's your point?" 

He gave a curt shake of his head. "I cannot simply let you travel alone. You are vulnerable." 

Katrina smiled sheepishly. "I guess you're right." 

"Well, there is no use standing idly about. Let's go." The swordsman turned and began walking westward. 

She trotted after him. "Yeah, um, I'm Katrina," she said awkwardly. Maybe he wasn't a murderer or anything, but he certainly didn't make himself seem approachable. "I guess I can't ask your name, huh?" 

He glanced at her and shook his head. 

"It must be frustrating," she continued, "not remembering who you are. Especially when you look exactly like Sephiroth. I mean, whether or not you really are him, people are going to be afraid of you." 

"Indeed it does not seem to matter either way," he agreed. He hesitated. "What do you believe?" 

Katrina faltered. "Well... It seems pretty unlikely that Sephiroth had a twin brother or something, you know? But then again, it seems just as crazy for him to come back from the dead, even if he was pretty powerful. I guess... I'm not sure what to think," she admitted finally. 

"Do you think that there is anyone who could tell me for certain?" 

"I dunno. Maybe the people who killed Sephiroth would know something." She paused, glancing at him. "I feel like I'm talking about you like you're not here. You probably don't want me calling you Sephiroth though, until we're sure." 

He nodded. "From what little I have heard of him, I do not want to be him." 

Katrina said nothing in reply. 

For another few hours they walked together in relative silence. She was growing more tired with each passing moment, and she only kept going because her legs seemed set in the monotonous motion of putting one foot in front of the other. Her companion did not seem fatigued in the slightest. 

"Um," she said as they passed an inviting clump of trees. 

He glanced at her questioningly. 

"Can we rest for a while?" she asked, managing to stop herself. With her feet still, she felt unsteady. "I'm kinda tired." 

The swordsman looked her over and seemed to decide that this was a valid claim. He nodded wordlessly and followed her to the trees. There, Katrina lay down at the base of a pine, using her pack as a pillow, and soon fell asleep.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Enter Sephiroth. Who, um... walks a lot. I suppose it's not very intriguing, but it was an interesting experience writing him without referring to him by name. We also get more Vincent in this chapter. Man, was there a lot of Vincent angst in the original. Back then he was my favorite character. Also I was still in middle school and angsting was something I fancied myself good at. (Note the sarcasm here.) Also, middle school? Wow, was that a long time ago. 

Katrina also makes her first appearance in this chapter. I got mixed reactions about her. Some people liked her, others thought she was pretty pointless. Which I guess makes sense because all she really does in the beginning is follow Seph around, but I felt it was important to have someone there trying to be his friend. I also knew from the beginning that she'd have an important role later on, but I didn't realize it would be so long in coming. In this version, we won't get to that scene until chapter 27! With how meandering the plot was for this story, I'm amazed to recall that any planning went into it at all. 


	3. Monsters

**Chapter 2: Monsters**

The swordsman stood leaning against a tree, waiting for his unlikely companion to awaken. The sun had come up hours ago, and yet she was still asleep. He supposed that he should not have been surprised; they had walked through much of the night without resting. 

But _he_ had been travelling for weeks without sleep. What _was_ he? There was a growing certainty within him that he was this 'Sephiroth' he kept hearing of, but gods, he did not want to be that man. He did not want to remember whoever he had been and whatever he had done. 

But what difference did it make? Whatever the truth of the matter was, everyone thought him to be Sephiroth, and so they were terrified of him. Outcast of everyone and everywhere, what could he possibly be good for? What could he do with this life if no one welcomed or trusted him? 

Except, strangely, this girl. His gaze returned to where she lay sleeping at the base of a tree. Perhaps she only trusted him because he had saved her life, but he felt somehow that had he simply crossed her path, she would not have reacted much differently. And wouldn't many others have fled even after being saved? 

Katrina stirred at last, and he looked away so that she would not wake to find him watching her. She sat up slowly and blinked her pale grey eyes in disorientation. When her gaze focused on him, she gave a start and sprang to her feet, grabbing her bag. She stared at him for a long moment, and then finally relaxed, grinning sheepishly. 

"Sorry," she apologized sincerely. "I forgot that you're not... er... I mean... Never mind." 

He only shrugged. "Are you ready to move on?" 

"I guess so," she said, but there was reluctance in her voice. 

Not knowing what to say, he ignored it and turned to continue on towards Snow Village, retracing his earlier journey south. Their passage was largely uneventful; no words passed between them and no monsters interrupted them. They probably sensed a stronger monster than them, the swordsman reflected; whatever he was, he was not human, and it would take a powerful beast indeed to even harm him. 

By late afternoon, they had only just started up into the mountains, and the swordsman doubted the girl could cross them this day. He had taken care to walk at a slow enough pace for her to keep up with ease, but nevertheless she was tiring. He wondered how she would fare trudging through snow against the wind. They could probably travel more quickly if he carried her, but he doubted she would consent to that. 

Suddenly he came to a dead stop, gripping the Masamune tightly. Something was not right. 

"What is it?" Katrina asked uncertainly from behind him. 

He only shook his head slightly, his eyes searching the sky. 

A moment passed before a dark creature swooped downwards and alighted some paces away from them. Folding its broad scarlet wings across its back, it fixed him with its glowing red gaze. 

The swordsman raised the Masamune, and the creature grinned, displaying several rows of deadly fangs. 

"Stay back," he told Katrina over his shoulder. If this thing had the courage to face him, then it had to be powerful. He started forward, but suddenly the demon lowered its head, cringing as though in pain. Its wings seemed to shrivel and retreated into its back as it fell to its knees. Its skin turned pale, the horns in its head shrank, and its vicious maw lost its menace. At last the thing looked... almost human. 

The strange man crouched there for a moment, then stood, adjusting his dark clothing and vermillion cloak. He fixed the swordsman with a gaze that was still blood red. 

The swordsman blinked in startlement and looked him over. He noted the metal claw that took the place of the man's left arm, the long rifle he carried at his side, and the long black hair that barely managed not to obscure that red gaze. He recognized this man, but no name came to mind. 

"Who are you?" he asked finally, lowering the Masamune. 

"You do not remember me?" the man asked. 

He shook his head. "I remember nothing." 

"I see." He paused, glancing briefly at Katrina, then looking back at the swordsman. "I suppose that makes it easier for you to grasp this second chance you've been given." 

"Who are you?" he repeated, more firmly this time, his grip again tightening on the Masamune. 

"I am Vincent Valentine," the other man explained. "I knew you in your previous lives." 

"Then tell me: who am I?" 

"You are Sephiroth," Vincent said, "and I am surprised that your companion has not told you as much." 

He frowned, not wanting it to be true. "But... how can I be? Sephiroth died, didn't he? How could I... have come back from the dead?" 

"This is the second time that you have returned from the dead. There is something alien inside of you that heals your wounds and calls you back each time." 

Something alien--he could not deny that. The sword, too, he felt to be bonded to him. Then, he was a murderer after all. 

"So why are you here?" Sephiroth asked. 

"Your mother asked me to look after you, to ensure that you did not repeat your past mistakes." 

"My mother...?" 

"Her name was Lucrecia," Vincent said quietly. He seemed about to say more, but decided against it. 

"What did she mean to you?" 

"She was the woman I loved, and I was the fool who let her die." 

"I suppose you don't age then," Sephiroth concluded hesitantly. 

"No." 

"So what exactly _are_ you?" 

The swordsman blinked and turned to look at Katrina as she came forward to stand beside him. He had nearly forgotten about her entirely. 

"I mean, first you were that... that _thing_, and even now you look less human than Sephiroth here." 

"I am an experiment, as is he, but not of the same kind. I apologize for arriving as I did; I would have changed back sooner, but Chaos is difficult to control." 

The girl shook her head. "I don't understand. You were experimented on, so now you can change into that monster? Why would someone want to do that to you?" 

Vincent shook his head dismissively. "It does not matter." He returned his attention to Sephiroth. "I cannot be certain of what to do. I suppose it is best to tell you of your past, lest you learn of it from someone who will not tell you the truth." 

"And how can I be sure that what you tell me is true?" 

"All I can say is that I am doing this for your mother's sake, and she would have wanted you to know the truth." 

Sephiroth frowned, but nodded. What kind of proof would have meant anything to him anyway? He could not remember anything; all he knew for certain was that he had met this man before. "How did I know you?" he asked. 

"I was among the people who killed you," Vincent answered bluntly. 

"And yet you have come to help me now?" 

"I could not have helped you then. Killing you was something that had to be done; I think you will see that." 

Sephiroth turned to Katrina. "Do you mind stopping here?" he asked her. "I... want to hear what he has to say before we go any farther." 

"That's fine," she replied. "I kinda want to hear it, too, and I was getting tired anyway." 

"Where are the two of you headed?" Vincent inquired. 

"Snow Village," Sephiroth answered. "Although she would prefer Cosmo Canyon, she says." 

Vincent only nodded slightly and studied the girl speculatively. 

She fidgeted under his gaze. "So... I guess you're wondering who I am, huh? My name's Katrina. Sephiroth here saved my life, and... um... yeah." 

"I see." There was an awkward pause. "We might as well sit down. This may take a while." 

The three of them found places on nearby rocks to sit, though Sephiroth knew it was more for Katrina's comfort than his or Vincent's. He sensed that the other man, like him, needed little rest. 

"I suppose it is best to start from the beginning," Vincent sighed. The swordsman guessed that he was normally a man of few words, and that the role of storyteller made him uncomfortable, especially considering the story. 

"Thirty-eight years ago, scientists from Shinra, Inc. found a creature frozen in ice in the Knowlespole area to the north of here. It was estimated to be around 2000 years old. Professor Gast, Shinra's head scientist at that time, named the organism Jenova." 

The name sent a shudder of recognition through Sephiroth's body, and he tightened his grip on the Masamune. He did not like the sound of that name. 

"Gast thought Jenova to be an Ancient, and Shinra soon approved the Jenova Project, which intended to create beings with the powers of the Ancients, or the Cetra. They relocated to Nibelheim, the site of the first working Mako reactor, for the duration of the project. Hojo"--here Sephiroth grimaced--"and Lucrecia, who were working under Gast at the time, conceived a child for the experiment. They injected Jenova's cells into Lucrecia's womb while the child was still growing. 

"Nine months later, Lucrecia gave birth to a son, whom she named Sephiroth. She grew weaker and weaker after your birth; Hojo was too indifferent to look in on her, and Gast was too preoccupied. I was a Turk at the time, assigned to protect the group of scientists. I decided to check up on her and found her near death. She wanted to hold you before she died, so I ran to the lab, where I found Hojo. When I told him of Lucrecia's condition, he shot me, used me in some bizarre experiment, and locked me in the basement." 

Vincent paused, frowning, before he went on. 

"No one knows much, if anything, of your childhood. You joined SOLDIER at a young age and quickly made your way to the highest rank. After leading Shinra's troops against Wutai and winning the war, everyone recognized you as the best swordsman on the Planet, and many called you a hero. 

"That changed ten years ago, when Shinra sent you on a simple mission to Nibelheim, accompanied by a lower-ranking member of SOLDIER named Zack and a regular Shinra trooper, Cloud Strife." 

_That_ name sounded agonizingly familiar. He struggled to recall the man, his face, anything, but nothing came. 

"You had instructions to inspect the malfunctioning Mako reactor. Once inside, you found that Hojo was using the reactor, which housed Jenova, to produce monsters. You confined yourself to the library in the Shinra mansion, reading all the documents of the experiment that had created you. What you read drove you insane, and you burned the village. You made your way to the reactor, intent on taking Jenova, your 'mother,' to the 'Promised Land.' 

"However, Cloud was somehow able to kill you in the reactor, sustaining heavy injuries of his own. Professor Hojo gathered the survivors of the Nibelheim disaster for another experiment involving Jenova. 

"Five years later, you returned, this time with the intention of gaining enough power to become a god. Cloud and a motley band of followers, myself included, were intent on stopping you. After several fleeting encounters, we met at the Temple of the Ancients, where you were seeking the Black Materia. Cloud retrieved it from the Temple, hoping that he could keep it from you, but the Jenova in him allowed you to use him as a puppet, and he handed over the materia. 

"Aeris, the only true survivor of the Cetra, then left our group on her own mission. She went to the City of the Ancients to summon Holy, and just after she succeeded, you killed her." 

Sephiroth flinched involuntarily, and both Katrina and Vincent looked at him with a little more interest. 

"You then travelled to the Northern Crater," Vincent continued, "where you summoned Meteor. The Planet unleashed the Weapons, but, unable to stop you, they simply attacked Midgar and Junon, occupying Shinra's attention. Cloud led us into the Crater, where we engaged you in a final battle in order to free Holy. Cloud defeated you once more, but it was too late for Holy. Instead, we think that Aeris guided the Lifestream to stop Meteor. 

"It has been five years since that day." 

After Vincent had finished, no one spoke. Sephiroth knew his companions were waiting for his reaction, but he did not know what to say. How many had he killed? How many lives had he cut short, and how many more had he ruined? 

Who was this Aeris that Vincent had mentioned? 

"If Jenova wasn't an Ancient," he said at length, "then what was it?" _What am I?_

"During the time of the Cetra, something fell from the sky, creating Northern Crater. This was Jenova. It deceived and killed many of the Cetra before they managed to defeat it. They buried it deep in the ice, but the Shinra found it in spite of their efforts to keep it contained." 

"Jenova killed the Cetra in her day, and I simply finished the job with Aeris, didn't I?" Sephiroth asked bitterly. 

Neither of his companions had a reply to that. 

"I would like to visit this Nibelheim. It might make this all seem more... real." 

Vincent nodded. "I understand." 

"How're we going to get to Nibelheim?" Katrina asked him. 

The man hesitated, frowning, then answered, "It seems that I will have to call on Cloud for some assistance." 

The swordsman looked at him sharply. "Why would Cloud help us?" 

"He won't want to, but I think that I can persuade him." 

Sephiroth exchanged dubious glances with Katrina, but neither of them said anything further. 

Vincent produced a battered-looking PHS, dialed Cloud's number, and waited. 

After several rings, the man picked up, and his voice sounded over the line. "(Hello...?)" 

"This is Vincent." 

"(Vincent?)" 

"Yes." 

"(...what do you want?)" Cloud asked warily, as though he did not trust his old companion. Perhaps he did not; somehow it would not surprise Sephiroth. 

"I want to borrow some of your chocobos," Vincent said simply. 

"(What for?)" 

"Sephiroth is with me." 

"(Sephiroth?)" Cloud exclaimed in alarm. He seemed to trust Vincent's honesty at least. "(But I thought we--)" 

"Calm down, Cloud. He is quite sane now." 

"(Calm down? You say Sephiroth is alive, and then tell me to calm down?)" 

From the anger in his tone, Sephiroth decided that he must have done more than just burn down a town, kill Aeris, and summon Meteor. What had Vincent left out of the story? 

"Yes," Vincent answered calmly. "You remember him before Nibelheim, don't you?" 

"(What, you mean now he's a cold-hearted bastard instead of an insane one?)" 

"Cloud, please. Can you really blame him for being distant then?" 

"(So you want me to pity him now, huh? After what he did? He--)" 

"I remember quite well what he did, Cloud. But he doesn't." 

A pause. "(He lost his memory?)" 

"Yes." 

"(And this is supposed to make me feel better?)" Cloud demanded, his anger quickly returning. 

"Cloud." 

"(Yeah?)" 

"Give him a chance. He hasn't killed anyone. In fact, he has been travelling with a girl from Bone Village and protecting her. Does he sound dangerous to you?" 

"(...no,)" Cloud admitted reluctantly. "(But why are you with him anyway?)" 

"It is my obligation to help him." 

"(...because of Lucrecia?)" 

"Yes," Vincent answered without emotion. "It was her wish." 

There was a much longer pause, and at length Cloud sighed. "(Then I'll lend you a couple of chocobos. Where did you say you were?)" 

"Near Bone Village." 

"(All right. Just bring them straight back as soon as you can. And I don't want to see anything of Sephiroth.)" 

"Thank you." Vincent put the PHS away and turned to Sephiroth. "You heard that, I am sure. We will move on once she has rested." He nodded to Katrina. 

"...what did I do to Cloud?" Sephiroth asked. 

"Nibelheim was his hometown," Vincent explained. "He lost his mother, and you nearly killed his best friend Tifa. Aeris, too, was a very close friend of his." 

"I see." 

Katrina glanced at him, and the swordsman was surprised to find concern in her gaze. He was the murderer here; why should she show him any compassion? 

"You should get some rest," he told her, standing and turning his back to her. He strode some paces away, until he knew he was out of sight, and then he sat down and closed his eyes. 

He still could not remember anything. There was only that sense of familiarity, of memory that remained just outside his vision no matter how quickly he turned to look. He doubted he really wanted to remember any of it, but perhaps that was selfish. If he had caused so much pain for so many people, he ought to at least remember what he had done; he deserved that punishment. 

There came the faint sound of metal on rock, and Sephiroth looked up to find that Vincent had followed him. 

"You seem to be taking this well," the man commented. 

"It is no surprise to me," the swordsman said. "I could feel that there was something wrong with me." When his companion offered no reply, he asked, "What was my mother like? Why did she consent to her part in the Jenova Project?" 

Vincent looked away. "Your mother... was a good friend of mine. I suppose that says something about her kindness; few care to befriend Turks, especially ones such as myself. She was a brilliant woman, too, and the Jenova Project meant a lot to her. She wasn't interested in Shinra's desire for the perfect soldier. Rather, she knew that the Ancients had had a much closer bond to the Planet than what we have today, and she thought that was a worthy thing to bring back into the world. 

"Perhaps she was right, but Jenova wasn't an Ancient, and its cells brought about her death. It was Hojo who persuaded her to be the test subject for the project, I am sure. Of course, I am just as blameworthy for letting her go through with it." 

"Was there no way to save her?" Sephiroth asked. 

"There may have been, but I failed her, and now it is far too late." 

"...how could she have asked you to look after me as she did, if she died so soon after my birth?" 

Vincent shook his head slightly. "There is Jenova in her as well, and it fought to keep her alive, but unlike with you, the Jenova is not truly a part of her. Her eventual death was inevitable." 

The swordsman studied him carefully, wondering what it was he heard in the man's voice. "Is there no magic that could bring her back for real?" he wondered. "And the others that I have killed?" 

At this, the man turned to look at him uncertainly. "There is no magic in the world powerful enough to bring back the dead. I doubt even the Cetra could have; Aeris was a skilled healer, but many things were still beyond her power." 

"And what about me?" 

"I have never seen you act as a healer," Vincent stated. "It's best not to delude yourself. The dead are gone; there is nothing any of us can do for them now." 

"You still love her, don't you?" Sephiroth asked as he realized it. "You're still in love with Lucrecia." 

Vincent said nothing, only met Sephiroth's gaze steadily. From the look in those eyes, no reply was necessary. 

At length the swordsman looked away, studying the landscape of the mountainside. "Who else was with you when you killed me?" he asked. "You only mentioned Aeris as being part of your group, and apparently I killed her before the end." 

"There were eight of us after we lost Aeris." Judging by his tone, this seemed easier for Vincent to talk about. "Cloud was our leader. In addition, there was Tifa Lockheart, whom I have mentioned, Barret Wallace, leader of an anti-Shinra group called AVALANCHE, Nanaki, a brilliant feline from Cosmo Canyon, Cid Highwind, a pilot who once worked for Shinra, Cait Sith, a Shinra spy who eventually switched sides, and Yuffie Kisaragi, a young ninja from Wutai." 

"A motley group indeed," Sephiroth remarked, struggling to call up a face for any of these names. 

It surprised him when a face did surface from the depths of his mind. He could recall the figure of a young woman kneeling below him on a stone dais. Her slender form was clothed in a pale pink dress that accented at once her beauty and her innocence. Her hair, a chestnut brown, was pulled back into a thick braid, though long bangs still fell to frame her face. 

Pinned to the ribbon that held her hair was a small white orb, and it began to glow a pale green in the same moment that she lifted her head, opened her deep green eyes, and smiled. 

This was Aeris, the Cetra whom he had killed only seconds later, and any pleasure that came with the memory of her beauty was dimmed by the knowledge that he had murdered her. The vague pain that he had felt before now sharpened into a keen guilt; he now had a face to haunt him. 

Sephiroth shook his head and tried to think of something else. 

Nearby, Vincent stood and looked back eastward. "Stay here with the girl," he said. "I will go to Bone Village to fetch the chocobos and return with them tomorrow." 

The swordsman nodded, though some part of him felt a strong aversion to taking orders, even if they made perfect sense. Someone had to stay with Katrina, and as strange as it seemed, Sephiroth knew she trusted him more than this crimson-eyed ex-Turk. 

He watched Vincent leave, then got up and returned to Katrina, finding her already asleep with her bag tucked under her head like a pillow. He sat down near her to keep watch, wondering all the while what he was supposed to do with this so-called second chance.

* * *

Vincent arrived with a pair of chocobos at dawn, surprising the swordsman with his speed. He wondered for a moment if the man had used that Chaos creature to fly to Bone Village, but at his questioning glance, Vincent only shook his head. In that case he had traveled as quickly as he could on foot, and the passage seemed to have fatigued him. 

Sephiroth woke Katrina; she grumbled at first, but when she caught sight of the two golden birds, her eyes lit up in wonder. She quickly gathered her things and went to greet the pair, murmuring praises as she stroked their brilliant plumage. 

Vincent turned his bird away from the girl. "We'd best leave now if you want to reach Nibelheim before nightfall," he stated. 

"Right," the swordsman agreed. He went to the other bird, hesitating a moment before releasing his hold on the Masamune. It simply disappeared, but this did not worry him; somehow he knew that he could call it back if he needed it. With that taken care of, he swiftly mounted the chocobo and held out a hand to Katrina. 

She blinked and looked back and forth between the birds, just now registering that there were only two, and that she would have to ride with one of them. A faint blush spread across her cheeks as she took the proffered hand and let Sephiroth pull her up to sit in front of him. 

As soon as she was up, Vincent heeled his chocobo forward. Sephiroth was quick to follow, and they raced southward towards Nibelheim. The two golden birds bore them across ocean and mountains with impossible speed, and they arrived at the village in Mt. Nibel's shadow just as the sun was setting. The chocobos slowed to a walk, stretched their wings, and refolded them. They strutted into Nibelheim, passing under the iron gate with a regal air. 

The three dismounted there and stood surveying the town. 

The little dirt road that entered the town opened up into a sort of square, in the center of which was a large wooden well. Around the square were a number of plain and lonely-looking houses, as well as a general store and an inn. The streets were empty, and the town was silent. Sephiroth doubted the forlorn feel to this place had anything to do with the late hour. There was not even a curious face at the window. 

Vincent started down the street, leaving his chocobo behind and motioning for the others to follow. He led them to the far side of the main street, where a large building stood out of place at the roots of the mountain. A tall wooden fence, broken only by an iron gate, surrounded the mansion, forbidding entrance. 

It was with a heavy reluctance that Sephiroth followed Vincent through that gate and up the path to the mansion. Its foreboding appearance would have been enough to frighten off most, he knew, but he was sure that appearances had little to do with his own reservations. 

Vincent stopped and stood aside to let Sephiroth enter first. A part of him wanted to turn away; he did not want to revisit this place. But, despite what horrors his mind might hold, he wanted his memory back. If this place could do anything to jar it, then he would enter. 

The heavy door moaned in loud protest as he pushed it open and stepped into the mansion. 

The entry hall took up both floors, and a cobwebbed chandelier hung from that high ceiling. Two doors on either side of the room and one straight ahead led to dustier chambers, and a curving staircase led upwards. 

"Shinra mansion," Sephiroth nearly spat. Though he could recall nothing more than its name, a strong feeling of resentment filled him at simply standing here. He turned to Vincent. "The basement here--that is where I... snapped, is it not? And also where Hojo locked you away." 

Vincent nodded. "I will show you the way." He strode for the staircase. 

Sephiroth started to follow, but hesitated and turned to Katrina. "You don't have to follow us here. Surely this place does not interest you." 

She shook her head. "No, I want to see this. In case you remember something." 

He studied her with some confusion, then turned to follow Vincent up the stairs and into the bedroom that held the entrance to the basement stairs. Sephiroth pushed open that door himself and paused in the entryway, listening to the grating sound echo in the cavernous space beyond. 

"I am... beginning to remember," he said softly, mostly to himself. "Finding this door, going down into the library, and reading..." _Reading that same spidery hand for days on end..._ He took a tentative step down, and then another, and continued downward into the darkness of the basement. The others followed behind him. 

The rock tunnel at the base of the stairs was lit, if dimly, and even Katrina walked along it without much difficulty. Sephiroth paused briefly near a broad wooden door set into the wall. "This was the chamber in which you slept," he said to Vincent. "In a coffin, yes?" 

"Yes," the man answered, eyeing him uncertainly. "But I did not tell you that." 

"Haven't I... been in this room?" 

"Not to my knowledge." 

Sephiroth frowned; he could recall what it looked like, could see the five coffins clearly in his mind. And he had come with... No, no, that memory was not his. Why did he have memories belonging to someone else? 

Shaking his head, he moved on to the library, recognizing the place as soon as he opened the door and recoiling. Images flashed through his mind, painful recollections passing too quickly for him to grasp, days spent here on that examining table under the cold gaze of the Prof-- 

He shut the door quickly, trying to block out those memories, but once triggered, they could not be stopped. 

He could recall the Professor, a short, aging Wutain man with thin black hair that never looked clean. Cold black eyes set back beneath his brow and only half-hidden by thick-rimmed glasses. Cold knobby, long-fingered hands that probed where they were not wanted. Cold lips that by turns twitched into a cruel little grin or a harsh and unforgiving frown. 

This was Hojo of Shinra, Inc. His father. 

Sephiroth grimaced and shoved the image out of his mind. 

"Are you all right?" he heard Katrina ask. 

"Fine," he clipped, wrenching open the door again and striding into the library. Long ago, this had been a place of fear and dread, but the Professor no longer resided here. There was nothing to fear. 

In the center of the room, of course, was the examining table, a glare on its surface from the bright lights above it. In the far corner beyond it stood two Mako chambers, now empty. Their labels marked them as equipment for the 'C Project,' whatever that may have been. Specimen codes C and Z... Sephiroth frowned, feeling that he should have known what this was all about, but nothing came to him and he had to move on. 

Shelving claimed the rest of the available space, though most of the volumes no longer stood neatly in rows. Piles of books lay where he had discarded them ages ago. Most were shut, but many lay open, face-down with pages crumpled or on their spines with pages torn and trampled. 

He turned his gaze to the books that remained on the shelves and scanned the titles. Nearly all of them related to Jenova. He stopped upon finding one that seemed out of place, some narrow volume concerning 'specimen VV-01.' Curious, he reached for it, but Vincent's hand stopped him. 

"You should not read any of these," he said softly but firmly. 

Sephiroth nodded, lowering his hand as the man released it, but he continued to look at the title. "That book has nothing to do with me," he stated. 

"Perhaps not," Vincent conceded, "but there is no need for you to read Hojo's records of my... abnormalities." He paused. "You have seen enough. We should go." 

The swordsman met his gaze and nodded again. 

Vincent turned and led them back out of the library and the basement. They took the staircase down to the entry hall, but here Sephiroth hesitated and strode for one of the doors. It led down a short hallway, and beyond there was a large room with a broad stained-glass window taking up most of the far wall. There was not enough light, however, for it to cast its pattern across the floor. A small table occupied a recess on one side, a tea set sitting atop it frozen in a tangle of cobwebs. 

None of these things held his attention, for the room was dominated by a grand piano, large and black and covered in dust. Drawn to the ancient instrument, Sephiroth ran his fingers lightly along the keys, picking up dust. He played a few notes at random, and at first it did not sound so bad, but one broken key screeched loudly, breaking the silence so jarringly that Katrina jumped. 

As the noise slowly faded, Sephiroth brushed the dust from his hands and strode from the room without a backwards glance. 

Leaving the mansion was liberating, despite the descending darkness and the town's deserted air. He glanced at his companions, noting that the both of them looked tired; certainly they could not want to leave Nibelheim this night. 

"This one house is abandoned, correct?" Sephiroth asked, his gaze finding a two-story building across from the inn. 

"I believe so," Vincent replied. 

"Then we will spend the night there," the swordsman decided. He did not want to try dealing with another innkeeper. 

Katrina looked confused. "But there's an inn right here. Or do you not want to pay?" 

"Do you think that we would be welcome there?" he asked her sharply. 

"A-ah... no, I guess not." 

He studied her for a moment. "You'll probably want to fetch a meal there, however; they won't mind you." 

She nodded and turned hesitantly for the inn, as though reluctant to separate from her strange companions. 

"You had something else that you wanted to see," Vincent stated once she had disappeared inside. There was no question in his tone. 

"I want to see the reactor as well," Sephiroth answered, "but you need not accompany me." 

The man made no reply. 

"You don't trust me," the swordsman said. 

"Admittedly, I do not, but if you wish to see the reactor, I will not stop you." 

"I suppose that's something." He started towards Mt. Nibel, saying over his shoulder, "I will be back later tonight. Get some rest." 

He passed beyond the imposing mansion and out of the town, headed for Mt. Nibel. His feet carried him across a valley starved even of the sun's last remnants and up into a twisted mountain on which only mist took root. The reactor had sucked this rocky earth dry of life, and now not even a single withered tree marked the passing of the once-existent vegetation. 

Hours had passed since the sun's disappearance by the time he reached the reactor, which nearly rendered Mt. Nibel's lifeless summit beautiful by comparison. The reactor stood enormous, its pipes clutching the mountainside in awkward grasps, moonlight glinting at odd angles off its rusting metal casing, and above all the gaudy red Shinra logo emblazoned on its front. 

Sephiroth strode up the metal staircase and through the door. Inside, the sounds of machinery and the stench of raw Mako assaulted his senses. He made his way warily across the glowing Mako pit, and after a moment he recalled a fragment of what had happened there: 

A boy with unruly blond hair, the Masamune thrust through him; the boy grasping the blade and with the last of his strength throwing Sephiroth off-balance; falling from the narrow walkway to the glowing pit below, bloodied Masamune in one hand and Jenova's head in the other; life bleeding out of him as his lungs slowly starved and Mako invaded his mind. 

Sephiroth wrenched his gaze away from the churning blue-green and continued on into the next room. Here, incubation pods filled the room, organic-looking metal tubes running from each up towards the far wall, where they disappeared into the next room. Metal steps led upwards, where a door marked 'Jenova' stood, locked and inscrutable. 

He stared at this for a moment, and then turned away. He remembered what had happened here now; there was no need to see the broken glass and the snapped wires from when he had taken her head. 

Instead he searched his memory for the way to shut this damnable thing down before he returned to join his two companions in sleep.

* * *

Author's Notes  
And Vincent explains Sephiroth's past to him. Hooray! Well, not so much for Seph. Initially Vincent lost control of Chaos here and Sephiroth had to fight him, but I decided that wasn't really necessary, even if it did make sense. What didn't make sense, however, was that in the original they travelled all the way back to Snow Village to talk. Which is really just out of the way. Another oddity, Vincent's story was originally delivered in third person, rather than directed towards Sephiroth. >> 

This chapter as a whole is just so much better than the original, I must say. Sephiroth's characterization, especially. The original had a lot of descriptions of Nibelheim but very little detailing what Sephiroth actually thought. Nor did he show any reaction to being told he'd killed Aeris. Having him flinch there may not seem like a big change, but I think details can be very telling. 


	4. Nightmares: Part 1

**Chapter 3: Nightmares (Part 1)**

The Shinra building loomed before him, an intimidating structure of metal and glass that stretched for seventy floors into the sky. He had never had access to all those floors until today. Today, he was a Turk, and today he had donned the trademark midnight blue of the Turks for the first time. With his imposing stature and cold dark eyes, the uniform seemed to suit him. 

He stood for a long moment before the building, and this was the only sign of nervousness that he allowed. He soon tore his gaze from the grandiose structure and strode through the doors with only the slightest nod to the receptionist who looked his way. He made straight for the elevators, pulling out his new keycard to let the machine know that he did indeed have the authority to access the upper floors. 

The elevator acquiesced to his command, and as its doors began to close, into the building rushed a young woman in a lab coat. She started hurrying towards the elevator, but upon seeing that the doors had nearly shut already, she slowed to a walk with a sigh. 

He caught the doors, forced them back open, and waited. The woman appeared startled, but she flashed him a smile and hastened to join him. Once she had stepped into the elevator, he let the doors shut, and the car started upwards. 

The woman stood beside him with her face turned away, fussing with her lab coat and obviously eager to get wherever she was going. Even though he hadn't gotten a good look at her face, he could tell that she was beautiful. Her brown hair, swept up into a high ponytail, nevertheless hung nearly to her waist and glinted coppery whenever it caught the light. Next to him, she seemed tiny, almost fragile, with a slender figure, long legs, and delicate fingers that couldn't seem to stay still. Apparently she, too, was a little nervous, though perhaps that was his fault. 

"Sorry," he said at length, not sure why he wished to break the silence. Normally he avoided conversation when he could. "My name is Vincent." 

She glanced at him quickly, but soon returned her gaze to the city beyond the glass walls of the elevator. "You're a Turk, aren't you?" she asked, her voice slightly tremulous. 

"Yes," he answered, "although today is my first day." 

"Oh, mine, too!" she exclaimed, sounding relieved, though whether because of his admission or something else, he wasn't sure. "As a scientist, that is," she added quickly. "I was only a lab assistant before, you understand, but I got promoted just yesterday." 

Vincent nodded and was about to reply when the elevator came to a stop at the 65th floor. The doors opened with a pleasant ding, but this failed to encourage him. "Well, this is my floor," he said, barely able to hide his reluctance. 

The woman said nothing in reply, and he stepped off the elevator feeling disappointed. He had not even gotten her name, he realized belatedly. He supposed, however, that they would see each other again, considering they both worked on the upper floors. 

A slightly shorter Turk with dirty-blond hair and pale grey eyes stood waiting nearby. "I see you've met the HQ's resident beauty," he said. 

Vincent blinked, then realized he was referring to the young scientist. "Hardly," he clipped. 

"Then be warned: she's picky about men." He shook his head and then stuck out his hand. "Anyway, I'm Liam." 

He accepted the hand and shook it brusquely. "Vincent." 

"Well, as soon as the other one gets here, I'll take you to see Chen." 

Vincent nodded, and the two of them stood silently for a few minutes until the second of the two elevators dinged and a young woman stepped out. Her fiery red-brown hair, cut in a boyish style, along with her bright green eyes made her stand out sharply despite the fact that she wore the same uniform as the other two. 

She grinned amicably and said, "Hope I didn't keep you gentlemen waiting." Her voice seemed almost raucous in comparison to that of the young scientist he had spoken to only a few moments ago. "The name's Talya," she said, holding a hand out to Vincent. 

Admittedly, it surprised him to find a woman in the Turks, and so he failed to react to her gesture. 

She frowned slightly, lowered the proffered hand, and turned to Liam. "I'm hoping he's the other new guy," she said. "If that's the case, I'll forgive him for gawking." 

Liam only shook his head and motioned for the two of them to follow. Vincent did so with a frown, but Talya's grin had returned and there was an almost cheerful confidence in her step. 

The blond Turk led them to an office that was more functional than large or plush, unlike President Shinra's office which Vincent had as yet only seen on television. Another suited man sat behind the cluttered desk, and he stood as the three of them entered. Out of all of them, he came the closest to matching Vincent's height. He had short dark hair that was probably brown in good light and eyes of a dark blue color that scrutinized the two newcomers sharply as he walked around his desk to meet them. 

"I am Chen," he told him in a businesslike tone, "the leader of the Turks." He looked at Vincent expectantly. 

"Vincent Valentine, sir," he responded. 

Chen raised an eyebrow. "Valentine?" 

"Yes, sir." He could see Talya smirking out of the corner of his eye, and sighed inwardly. 

"Are you kidding me?" 

"No, sir, I am not." 

Chen regarded him dubiously for a moment longer, and then turned to Talya with a nod. 

"Talya Keagan, sir," she said, carefully suppressing her smirk. 

"Welcome to the Turks," Chen said, though there was no welcome in his voice. "Your first assignment will be tomorrow; Liam will brief you. It is hardly a significant task, but I will be expecting a good performance from each of you." 

"Yes, sir," both new Turks responded, not quite in unison. 

Chen returned to his desk, and Liam led them back out of the office. Before the briefing, he explained, he wanted to show them around the Turk's floor. The first thing he showed them was a drab room full of grey filing cabinets. If they were ever to betray Shinra, Liam stated coolly, their existence would be erased so completely that the only remaining trace of them would be in a thin manilla folder in one of these cabinets. 

After this statement, he left the room. Vincent and Talya exchanged glances before following, but neither said a word. Somehow it was not surprising. They were the ones who did Shinra's dirty work; this was what happened to their victims, so it was only fitting the same happened to them should they turn traitorous.

* * *

"I can watch dreams?" Aeris wondered aloud, drawing back from the mirror and blinking in amazement. During these long five years, she had never managed such a thing. 

"It only seems possible when the dreams are very vivid," her mother answered from beside her. 

Aeris started. Detached as she was from her own world, this so-called Promised Land, she rarely noticed Ifalna's presence unless her mother spoke. "Do you think... Vincent always dreams like this?" 

"Haven't you watched him before?" 

"Well... no, not really. I mean, I only wanted to see how he would deal with Sephiroth after he woke. I didn't think watching a sleeping person would be very interesting." 

"You certainly watched Cloud sleep often enough in the beginning," Ifalna stated. 

Aeris looked away. "That's different." 

"I know. I'm sorry." There was a pause. "And what of Sephiroth?" 

She glanced at the mirror and shook her head. "I can't see inside his mind, though I admit that I'd like to know what _he_ dreams about. Even without his memory, do the faces of those he's killed come back to haunt him? Or is he sleeping peacefully now?" She shook her head again. "Somehow, it doesn't seem fair, does it?" 

"No," Ifalna agreed quietly, "it doesn't." 

They were both silent for a moment, and then Aeris looked back at the mirror. "I wish I could see this story from Lucrecia's point of view," she said. "Hearing Vincent tell it, I never understand why she accepted her part in the Jenova Project. Maybe he just doesn't like to talk about it, but maybe he didn't understand it either." 

"Well, Lucrecia should be in the Lifestream now. Her soul is probably more or less untouched as yet, so you could try searching her memories." 

Aeris supposed that she should not have been surprised. She was no stranger to the souls that wandered the Lifestream. She had spoken with them many times. It was just that this seemed different, more probing and intrusive; although, she reminded herself, she had already peaked inside of Vincent's mind, and he was living. 

In any case, what did it matter what she did if she was dead herself? With that cold reality in mind, she decided that she would look for Lucrecia's side of the story.

* * *

It was mid-morning, and Lucrecia sat at her already-cluttered desk, a thick file spread open before her. She had not had access to these documents until her recent promotion, and now she was going through them voraciously, determined to catch up with the other scientists. She wanted to prove to those men that she was much more than a pretty face. She was capable of thinking on their level, too; she just needed to immerse herself in all the information that they already had. 

Professor Gast especially had been working with the Jenova specimen, as he had named it. She had first heard of it several months ago, when the organism had been discovered far to the north, near Snow Village. As an assistant, she had not had access to much more than conjectures, and she had heard only that Gast suspected that it was an Ancient. That alone had been enough to pique her interest, and now that she had been promoted, she could work with it alongside the other scientists and uncover Jenova's secrets for herself. 

A bony hand on her shoulder made her start, and she turned to find Professor Hojo standing behind her. Had she really been so lost in these files that she hadn't noticed him come in? She had probably lost track of the time then, too, and she wondered if she had forgotten about something. Was there some test that she was supposed to help out with now? Oh, she could just imagine the looks she'd get if she were late again. 

Then again, Hojo didn't look angry, which was reassuring; he had a way of losing his temper at the drop of a hat, and surely if she were late for something, that would annoy him. 

"What is it?" she asked, managing to keep her voice level. 

"Professor Gast is running some tests that he wants us to help him with," Hojo explained gruffly. When first she met him, she had thought his harsh tone rather insulting, but by now she knew that that was just how he spoke to everyone; he couldn't really seem to help it. 

"Oh, dear," Lucrecia sighed, getting to her feet. "I'm not late, am I?" 

"No," he assured her. "It wasn't scheduled, so you couldn't have known about it." 

She smiled in relief. "Well, that's good to hear. I was afraid I'd end up making a fool of myself again." 

Hojo didn't seem to know quite what to say in response. Sometimes his conversational skills were a bit lacking, but once the topic turned towards something he was really interested in, it was hard to keep up with him. He was a brilliant man, really; he just didn't like small talk. 

Shaking her head in dismissal, Lucrecia motioned for Hojo to go on, and she followed him out of her office and towards the lab.

* * *

Vincent returned from a mission in Wutai, feeling somehow too tired to sleep. It was perhaps an hour to noon; he had been up for nearly forty hours, but despite his body's fatigue, the sunlight discouraged him from resting. So, when Chen told him he had off until mid-afternoon, he went to the employee lounge rather than heading for his apartment to get some rest. Admittedly, he was never particularly welcome on the lounge floor because of his status as a Turk, but he disliked the small recreational area on the Turks' floor, and anyway, he had no chance of catching sight of that scientist if he stayed there. 

After that one day several weeks ago, he had gotten only glimpses of her. Aside from filing reports, he generally did not spend much time in the Shinra building, and then his hours there never seemed to coincide with the scientist's free time. He had not even managed to learn her name. Probably he could have asked someone, but he would rather hear it from her own lips first. 

When he reached the lounge, he looked around first to make certain that Talya was nowhere to be seen. Sometimes she hung out here, too, and most employees accepted her readily enough, considering her friendly nature and the fact that she was a woman. To them, perhaps, she did not seem as intimidating as the other Turks, though she was certainly as deadly. She joked in even the direst situations, but she always managed to get the job done. 

Nevertheless, Vincent was not terribly fond of her. His name was an ongoing joke to her; she had never once called him Vincent, but rather stuck with Valentine, laughing when she said it. She was always prying, too, trying to find out anything and everything about him, especially his reason for choosing the general lounge over the Turks' when he was so antisocial. 

Relieved to find her absent from the lounge, Vincent found himself a seat and ordered a cup of coffee. He had never really liked the stuff, but as a Turk, he sometimes found the caffeine a necessity. He let his gaze wander, watching those around him while he waited for his drink. 

It was then that _she_ stepped off the elevator. It barely registered at first, and then he thought that he was imagining things in his weary state. He blinked a few times, but she was still there, and he watched her make her way over to an empty table and sit down. Now that he finally had the opportunity to talk to her, would he even attempt it? he wondered. Tired as he was, he was more likely to do something stupid, and it wasn't as though he had any real reason to speak with her. She probably got attention from a lot of men. Why would she see him as being any different? 

Vincent deliberated for some time, barely noticing when his coffee arrived. At length he made up his mind and strode over to join her. "Do you mind if I sit with you?" he asked. 

She looked up at him in startlement, then smiled hesitantly and shook her head. "No, go ahead." 

He took the chair opposite her and wondered what he was supposed to say now. "You never told me your name," he remarked after a moment. 

"I didn't, did I?" she said. "Well, it's Lucrecia. Lucrecia Coen. You said yours was Vincent, right?" 

He nodded. "Vincent Valentine. I'm surprised you remembered." 

"I would be, too, if I hadn't heard people talking about you. Newest member of the Turks, excellent marksman." 

Vincent only shrugged. 

"You look tired," Lucrecia commented. "Did you not sleep well?" 

"Not at all, really. I just returned from a mission. Red-eye flight, you understand." 

"Oh," she said, and he could tell that wondering what the mission had been made her slightly uncomfortable. She soon overcame it, however, and smiled sympathetically. "Yes, I imagine it would be hard to sleep in the air." 

He nodded slightly. "At any rate," he began, eager to shift the subject away from his less-than-commendable activities, "I've heard that your department is working with something called Jenova. How is that going?" 

She seemed surprised that he knew anything of it, but her expression brightened. "Very well," she replied. "The whole specimen hasn't been recovered yet, of course, so we've only been working with samples. Professor Gast says that once they've finished excavating the Jenova specimen, Shinra is going to get us a lab in some out-of-the-way place so that we can do our research without being bothered." 

"That sounds nice," Vincent commented, although he realized immediately that he would never see her if she left the Shinra building. "What is the Jenova specimen anyway? Have you confirmed anything yet?" 

"Well, we're not 100 certain," she conceded, "but all tests seem to indicate that it's an Ancient. The time and place certainly match up--roughly 2,000 years old and discovered near Snow Village. Jenova must have been alive during the last years of the Ancients." 

"Then did it die from the same thing that killed off the rest of the Ancients?" 

Lucrecia shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Professor Gast says that parts of her are actually still alive. It's as though she was frozen solid in ice while she still breathed, and so it's preserved her perfectly. It's fascinating stuff. I can hardly wait until we get the separate lab for it." 

"Indeed." 

Some of her enthusiasm faded. "I'm not boring you, am I?" 

Vincent shook his head quickly. "Not at all. I think I'm just tired." 

"Maybe you should go get some sleep," she suggested. 

Her concern startled him, and he could only nod slowly. "Probably," he agreed. "It's just that I don't see you around much." 

"You'd give up your much-needed sleep just to talk to a woman whose name you didn't know until just now?" 

"Is that so difficult to fathom?" 

"Yes. I mean, I'm nothing extraordinary." 

"Nonsense," Vincent stated. "You're beautiful." 

"Oh..." His reply seemed to disappoint her. She glanced at her watch and smiled at him briefly. "Well, it looks like I've lost track of the time again. I'd best be getting back to the lab." 

He nodded, deciding to keep his mouth shut lest he say something more foolish. 

"I'll talk with you again sometime, Vincent," she said as she got to her feet, though she did not sound like she meant it. 

He nodded again. "I hope so, Lucrecia." 

"Bye," she said with a wave before turning to head for the elevator. 

Vincent watched her go with a sigh. He should have waited until he had the presence of mind to carry on an intelligent conversation. Instead, it seemed that he had made a fool of himself, and quite possibly she would not want anything more to do with him. He returned his attention to his coffee, which had cooled significantly by now. 

Someone tapped him on the shoulder, and he started. 

"Hey, Valentine," came Talya's voice, "was that your girlfriend?" 

He lifted his head to glance at her over his shoulder. "I just met her, Talya," he said tiredly, "and she's no more interested in me than she is in you." 

"I didn't know she was into girls, too." 

"She's not," he replied flatly. 

"Oh, I see. Sucks for you, huh, lover-boy?" 

"Don't you have work to do?" he asked. 

"Hey, I have off, too, sometimes," she said indignantly, taking a seat beside him. "Anyway, it's probably not as bad as you think. You were doing pretty good for a while, and she'll probably get over whatever that last thing you said to her was. Unless you really managed to screw up with that; I don't know since I wasn't listening." 

"It's good to know that you haven't sunk to eavesdropping yet," Vincent remarked. 

"That was a little harsh, considering I'm trying to be nice here. But I'll forgive you, since you're a Turk in love." 

"Talya," he began, a warning in his voice. 

"By the way," she went on, ignoring him, "are you gonna tell her what you do for a living? That may be the problem, you know. She--" 

"It's no secret that I'm a Turk," he cut in. "She already knows what I do." 

"She likes killers then, does she?" 

"Doubtful." 

"But you _are_ a cute one. That's got to count for something." 

Vincent got to his feet with a sigh of exasperation. "Go bother someone else, Talya, please." 

"Fine, Valentine. I guess you need to go get your beauty sleep anyway." 

He did not bother to reply, but instead took the elevator up to the Turks' lounge, which he found empty, and fell asleep in a chair.

* * *

Lucrecia wondered for the umpteenth time how she had gotten herself into this predicament, held captive by a bunch of terrorists in such a cold and inhospitable environment. At least, she supposed, she had a coat, and they were keeping her inside a tent along with the other captives, but the bonds on her hands were uncomfortably restrictive, and the cold still managed to penetrate to her bones. 

She wished that she had declined when Professor Gast had asked whether she wanted to accompany him to oversee the transportation of the Jenova specimen to Nibelheim, but she had been to eager to see it. Now Gast, Hojo, and herself were at the mercy of these terrorists who claimed that the Jenova specimen was an abomination. They had told Shinra that they would release the scientists only if the company agreed to terminate the project and return Jenova to its place buried deep in the ice. 

Shinra, she knew, would do no such thing. She wondered if he would send the Turks to deal with this. She wondered if Vincent would be among them. If she made it through this alive, she thought wryly, that would give her an opportunity to apologize for what had happened when they had spoken the week before. She shouldn't have taken offense because he had called her beautiful. Just because he had noticed it, that didn't mean that he was as shallow as many of the other men who talked to her. He _had_ seemed genuinely interested in what she had said. 

Why she kept thinking about it, though, she wasn't sure. Maybe it was because she kept hearing about him. People said that he never smiled and that he carried out all of his missions with deadly efficiency. They made him out to be almost machine-like, but he hadn't seemed that way to Lucrecia. She had seen the hint of a smile on his face, and obviously he had been far from proud of his accomplishments as a Turk. Had he only let down his guard because of his fatigue? Or had it been something else? 

Shaking her head, she roused herself from her reverie and looked around the tent to see how her fellow captives were doing. Hojo was wearing a look that could have killed, but his mouth was clamped shut. In any other situation, he probably would have loosed his temper, but now it was unwise to erupt into anger. In contrast, Gast appeared quite calm, almost relaxed where he sat with his hands bound behind him. 

Their captors sat around tensely, fingers twitching against triggers, eyes fixed on the tent flap by which their companions stood watch. Lucrecia doubted many of them had even held a gun before, much less threatened anyone with one. She wondered what it was about this Jenova specimen that had made them resort to this. Why risk their lives to make certain it remained untouched? Was it really that dangerous? They would have to look into that, she decided, though she knew that Hojo would consider it a waste of time. Gast at least might consent to taking a little more caution with Jenova. 

A man pulled the tent flap open then and motioned for the only guard not fidgeting to come out. "They've sent someone to negotiate," he said as his companion joined him outside the tent. 

Lucrecia peered outside and caught sight of a red-haired woman before the flap fell shut. She thought she recognized the woman as one of the Turks, though at the moment she was out-of-uniform. Or perhaps Lucrecia was mistaken. In either case, she mentioned nothing to the others. If it was one of the Turks, then any negotiations were likely a ruse. She tried not to appear any more anxious than she had been at the thought. 

Some minutes passed, and then she heard gunfire outside. Their captors exchanged frightened glances, and one of them grabbed Lucrecia, who sat closest to the outside. He pulled her out into the cold twilight and put his gun to her head. She could feel him trembling. "Stop or I shoot!" he shouted, and she thought that he sounded very young. 

There was a second's lull in the fighting, and then one loud gunshot rang out, and Lucrecia shut her eyes. The man holding her made a sort of gurgling sound, as though blood were blocking his voice, and the gun slid from her head. He toppled over, his loosening grasp pulling her off balance. Unable to use her hands to steady herself, she fell with him. 

She lay there motionless, afraid to open her eyes lest she see the dead man lying nearby. She could hear the fighting going on around her, gunshots and fire and men dying with screams more successful than her captor's. At last she heard someone shouting surrender, and the gunfire ceased. There was silence save for one man's moaning some distance away. 

Lucrecia opened her eyes cautiously and found herself staring at the tent's ceiling. She sat up, realizing that she and the dead man must have fallen back through the flap. She could see him lying beside her, his legs sticking out into the snow and his head lying at someone's feet, a bullet hole clean in the center of his forehead, blood sta-- 

She looked away and swallowed hard. She had never seen a dead man before. 

"Are you all right?" 

It was Hojo's voice, and it took her a moment to realize that he was speaking to her. She nodded minutely, then again, more forcefully. 

"Did you faint?" 

"N-no," she managed, realizing how she must have looked, lying there with her eyes shut tight. "I... I was just... scared." 

Hojo nodded and didn't say anything else. She looked around. Their remaining captors sat frozen, both of them still staring at the dead man. They had been too frightened to do anything after that, she realized, and now that their leader--presumably--had surrendered, they didn't dare. 

Suddenly someone dragged the dead man out away from the tent, and Lucrecia scrabbled back from the flap as it opened. 

It was Vincent. 

"You two," he said to the terrorists inside, "put down your weapons and get out here." 

They started and hurriedly did as they were told, eyes wide and limbs shaking. Lucrecia really felt sorry for them, despite what they had done. They had obviously believed themselves to be right, so much so that they had risked this even though they weren't fighters themselves. 

Once the pair had left, Vincent pulled out a knife and crouched down beside Lucrecia, cutting her bonds. "You shouldn't go out there just yet," he told her quietly, avoiding her gaze. "There are more dead bodies where that one came from." 

He moved on to free the other two scientists without waiting for a reply. 

Gast and Hojo didn't seem at all squeamish about dead bodies, and both followed Vincent out of the tent. Lucrecia remained inside by herself, pulling her knees up to her chest. 

"What the hell did you think you were doing?" she heard Hojo shouting outside. Apparently he could no longer hold back his temper. "What if you had missed?" 

"I don't miss," came Vincent's cool reply, and Lucrecia realized in astonishment that Hojo was taking out his anger not on the terrorists, but on Vincent, who must have been the one to kill her captor. 

"You don't miss, huh?" Hojo snorted. "Well then, what if he had managed to pull that trigger before he went down, did you think of that?" 

"I doubt someone as untrained as he obviously was would have had the reflexes to do so." 

"But it's the twitchy ones who do that sort of thing by accident." 

"Then you'll agree that he might have done it even if we had given in to his demands." 

"You think you're so smart--" 

"I think that I know how to do my job. That is all." 

"You just don't give a damn," Hojo spat. "I bet you--" 

Lucrecia stepped out of the tent, unable to tolerate any more of this. "Nibori, stop it," she said, knowing that he hated being called by his first name. Even his friends called him Hojo. "Look, I'm all right. There's no point in considering all these what if's." 

The scientist seemed startled. "But he was willing to--" 

"I don't want to hear it. He saved our lives, and that's all there is to it." 

He fell silent, frowning, and after a moment he turned away and strode to join Professor Gast who stood with the other Turks, speaking to the terrorists. 

Vincent started after him. 

"Wait a second, Vincent," she said, and he turned back questioningly. "I want to apologize for being curt with you earlier. I didn't have any reason to. And now... Well, thank you for saving me. I suppose I'm in your debt now." 

He shook his head. "I was only doing my job." 

"Is that really all?" she asked in spite of herself. 

"I don't know what you mean," he said, turning to go. 

Lucrecia sighed and trailed after him. 

"Talya," Vincent said when he reached the other Turks, "why don't you take Gast and the others back to the village?" 

"Sure thing, Valentine," answered the red-haired woman Lucrecia had seen earlier. When Vincent glared at her sharply, she added, "Sir," suppressing a smirk. 

"Liam and I will join you shortly," Vincent told her. 

Talya motioned for the three scientists to go with her, and she led them away from the bloody scene and back towards Snow Village. Lucrecia found herself somewhat disappointed, though she supposed that Vincent still had work to do here. Maybe he would like to talk, but this was hardly the place or time. Deciding to try speaking with him later, she followed Talya back to Icicle Inn without complaint and retired gratefully to her room there. It had been a long day.

* * *

She woke cold and disoriented, her eyes finding no familiarity in the tiny bedroom surrounding her. She sat up quickly in her confusion, the blanket falling and exposing her to the room's cold air. She shivered and almost lay back, but she did not want to stay in this lonely room, even if she had managed to recognize it by now. 

Lucrecia dressed quickly, gathered her few belongings, and stepped out into the hall. She started when she found Vincent standing against the far wall, waiting, and she stood frozen in the doorway. 

"Good morning," he said quietly. 

"G-good morning," she replied, wondering why she was suddenly so nervous. She turned to shut the door behind her, using that as an excuse to break his gaze. 

"Professor Gast and Hojo are waiting for you downstairs," Vincent informed her as she turned back around. "You'll be leaving for Midgar as soon as the snow stops." 

"And you?" 

"I still have some work to do here." 

Lucrecia nodded absently. "Tell me, Vincent, did it feel any different this time?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean... rescuing people instead of... what you normally do." 

"Yes," he answered after a moment, "it was very different." 

"People tell me that you're very cold-hearted," Lucrecia said thoughtfully, "but if that's true, then this mission would have been the same to you as all the others you've been on. It wouldn't have been anything more than a job to you." 

He did not reply, and his penetrating gaze finally left her face. 

She stepped forward and stretched up on tip-toe to kiss him on the cheek. "I imagine you don't get much sincere gratitude," she told him quietly. "I hope this makes us even." 

That said, she turned for the stairs, afraid to wait for his response. Arriving in the lobby, she found Professor Gast and Hojo waiting near the huge furnace that heated the inn. Talya and Liam, the two Turks who had accompanied Vincent, stood near a window, both now in uniform and keeping their distance from the scientists. They were well aware that their company was not wanted. 

Lucrecia went over to join Gast and Hojo, who greeted her with good-morning's and absent-minded smiles, but no conversation ensued. Hojo seemed reluctant to talk with the Turks within hearing range, while Gast was lost in thought, as usual. The two Turks nearby had no qualms about conversing, though they did so under their breaths and Lucrecia surmised from their tones that they were having an argument. 

She sensed rather than heard Vincent come down the stairs, and her eyes followed him as he strode over to join Talya and Liam by the window. He did not so much as glance in her direction, and Lucrecia was grateful. After that impulsive kiss of hers, any attention from him would only embarrass her. 

The direction of her gaze, however, did not go unnoticed; Hojo tapped her on the shoulder and motioned for her to follow him outside. 

On the inn's front step, he turned to look at her speculatively. "I don't like how you're looking at that tall Turk," he said at length. 

"You mean Vincent?" she asked. 

Hojo nodded. 

"And how exactly am I looking at him?" 

"Like you might be interested in him. Romantically." 

Lucrecia laughed as though the idea were ridiculous, although she knew quite well it wasn't; Vincent was a handsome man, and he had saved her life. "Honestly, Hojo, I barely know him. Anyway, why would it matter to you if I was? Don't tell me you're jealous." 

Hojo frowned uncomfortably. "No, that isn't why it bothers me. I haven't heard good things about that Turk. They say he's very good at what he does, a deadly killer. You should avoid him." 

"Hojo," she said, "I appreciate your concern, but I don't need your judgment to guide me." 

"Lucrecia, _everyone_ agrees that he's an uncaring bastard." 

"Some people say the same thing about you," she told him archly, "but that doesn't mean I have to listen to them, does it?" 

Hojo was silent for a moment. "Fine," he sighed, "befriend him if you must, but be careful around him, all right?" 

"That, I can do," she replied, her expression softening. They exchanged no more words, both seeming to notice in the same instant that the snow was letting up, and turned to go back inside.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Vincent's nightmares. I wrote this mostly because I really just thought it would be fun to do my own version of his past, but it also gave me access, as it were, to a rather important character, Talya. (This also marks the first time I used the name Keagan in a story. I've used it twice since because I just can't seem to help myself.) Editing this, though, I realized it was kind of cumbersome because the story is more about Sephiroth than Vincent, so I did my best to shorten it. I cut out a lot of the scenes in Vincent's flashback, most notably his mission to Wutai which he only briefly mentions here, and also Vincent's assessment of the hostage situation in the Knowlespole. 

Despite the cuts, though, I wasn't able to shorten it enough to stand as one chapter, so I decided to split it up. Of course, part of the problem may be because I significantly lengthened the scene with Aeris. As the first appearance she makes outside the prologue, I felt I ought to make it more than just a paragraph, and get some kind of reaction from her about Sephiroth. 


	5. Nightmares: Part 2

**Chapter 4: Nightmares (Part 2)**

They arrived at the isolated little town after a lengthy ride from North Corel in one of Shinra's trucks. Vincent and the Shinra trooper accompanying them for the trip had taken turns driving, and both were tired, more so than the three scientists whom they were escorting. The Turk was certain, however, that they all felt the same relief as they climbed out of the truck and stood in the sunlight, despite the town's unwelcoming appearance. 

A certain hushed anticipation permeated the village, as though all the townspeople had disappeared inside their homes to watch the strange visitors from behind the safety of their curtained windows. Indeed the streets were empty save for a tiny grey cat, which slunk quickly away to hide under an old truck in someone's yard. A tall wooden well stood in the town's center, and the path beyond led up to and past the incongruous mansion at the foot of the mountains. The sun hung just above the peaks of the Nibel range in the west, and its light sent grey shadows stretching across the worn cobblestone pavement. 

Just before them, a tall yet simple arch marked the entrance to Nibelheim. 

Vincent turned back, intending to retrieve some of the luggage from the truck and carry it then to the mansion, but Professor Gast waved a hand at him. 

"Let's get acquainted with the mansion first," he suggested. "We can bring our bags in later." 

The Turk nodded, appreciative both for the gesture and the fact that Gast was not treating him as a subordinate, which technically he was. Unlike Hojo, Professor Gast was not the kind of man who really gave orders; rather, if he wanted something done, he suggested it in such a good-natured and reasonable way that one felt compelled to agree to it. 

Not that Vincent knew the Professor very well, but he had gathered as much on the way to this place. Gast's very appearance spoke volumes about him. He had a very gentle, almost fatherly manner about him, easily discernible in his hazel eyes and in the tone of his voice. 

He was certainly a sharp contrast to Hojo, who appeared perpetually disgruntled and spoke harshly, frequently snapping. Part of this, Vincent conceded, may have been due to his presence; it was obvious that Hojo despised Turks, and Vincent was certainly no exception. 

The three scientists started down the main street, passing under the archway and into Nibelheim. Lucrecia glanced back at Vincent over her shoulder to cast a smile his way and encourage him to follow. He started after her, walking with them to the mansion at the far end of the street, tucked back by the roots of the mountain. Gast paused there, needing a moment to open the gate, and the three scientists soon entered the yard. 

Vincent hung back with an inexplicable reluctance, turning to look up at the clear sky as though searching for some sort of omen. At length he shook his head and followed the others inside. 

They spent a good half an hour exploring the mansion, from the kitchen and the piano room on the first floor to the bedrooms and the greenhouse on the second. One of the bedrooms, a dead-end at first glance, turned out to hold a door cleverly worked into the far wall. This semi-hidden door opened into a spiral staircase that led down to the basement, which housed the library and the mansion's most important room, the laboratory. 

The tour ended there, the scientists quickly losing themselves in their new laboratory, carefully inspecting every aspect of it to make certain that it was to their satisfaction. Vincent found the place a bit disconcerting, considering the dark stone out of which the room had been carved and the two green-tinted cylindrical chambers in one corner of the room, large enough to hold people. The lighting was very bright and yet at the same time it failed to illuminate the entire room, so that inscrutable shadow lingered in its corners. 

After some long minutes of standing ignored in the doorway, Vincent decided that now was a good time to retrieve the luggage from the truck, so he left the scientists to their exploration and made his way back out of the mansion. 

They spent the rest of the day getting settled in, unpacking their things and buying from the nearby general store anything that they lacked, namely food. The shopkeeper was visibly uneasy to find himself dealing with people from Shinra, and though Vincent doubted he knew anything of the Turks, the man's gaze kept flicking nervously his way. Apparently he did not need a reputation to appear intimidating. 

There were only two real bedrooms in the mansion, one with two beds, the other with one, and it was obvious whose they were. Hojo and Gast took one, Lucrecia the other, and Vincent did not voice any protests. He exchanged glances with the soldier who would be leaving in the morning and they opted to use the chairs in one of the upstairs rooms. 

Before turning in himself, Vincent went to Lucrecia's room and knocked on the door with only the slightest of hesitations. In the month preceding this journey to Nibelheim, he had had numerous chances to speak with her, and they had become friends. This was new to Vincent, who had always had difficulty relating to people and had never really had any friends. Lucrecia, however, did not seem to mind his awkward mannerisms and confessed that she liked having someone she could talk to. 

"Come in," Lucrecia called from inside. 

He opened the door and took a step into the room. 

She turned from where she stood putting away the last of her things and smiled. "Oh, it's you, Vincent," she said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "Is there something you wanted?" 

He shook his head. "No, I just wanted to see if you were settled in all right." 

"Yes, mostly," she replied, looking around her new bedroom. "Although... I won't have much privacy in here, what with the door to the basement right there. We'll be back and forth through here all the time." 

"If that bothers you, we could move the bed into the other room tomorrow." 

"No, no, it's all right. I won't really mind as long as everyone remembers to knock." She hesitated as something occurred to her. "You don't have a place to sleep, do you?" 

Vincent only shrugged. 

Lucrecia sighed in annoyance. "Shinra _knew_ how many of us were coming here. They should have made sure we had the proper accommodations." 

"It's really not a problem," he assured her. 

"You shouldn't have to sleep on the floor," she insisted, frowning. 

"Don't worry about it; I don't mind." 

Her expression softened and she shook her head. "Vincent... you _should_ mind. But I guess there's not much we can do about it now. Unless you'll take a pillow; I don't need mine." 

"I didn't come here to ask you for a pillow." 

"Then what _did_ you come here for?" she asked with an amused smile. 

"I already told you." 

"Oh... Well, as you can see, I'm settled in just fine," Lucrecia told him, her smile fading. "Now, we both ought to get some rest since we're going out to the reactor tomorrow." 

Vincent nodded. "Right. Well, goodnight, Lucrecia." 

"Goodnight, Vincent." 

He stepped back out of her room and closed the door behind him. He stood there for a moment, frowning at his inability to say what was on his mind. Of course, he wasn't certain what was on his mind anyway; it was only a feeling that he did not have any words for, and the sight of her stilled any attempts to express it. Disappointed with himself, Vincent went back to his own room and fell asleep in a chair.

* * *

Vincent collapsed gratefully into one of the chairs by the window and closed his eyes for a moment. The journey to the reactor in Mount Nibel, coupled with how badly he had slept the night before, had drained most of his energy, and now he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Lucrecia had noticed, and she had all but ordered him to find himself better accommodations. He had settled for purchasing a mattress and some bedding, which he had set up on the floor. It was good enough for him, and actually brought back memories of his early childhood in Wutai. 

He opened his eyes, glancing briefly out the window, and hauled himself out of the chair, deciding to change out of his uniform and get some well-needed sleep. 

A knock sounded on his door, however, catching him in the process of removing his tie. "Yes?" he called. 

"Can I come in?" came Lucrecia's voice. 

He strode to the door and opened it to find her standing outside, still fully dressed and wearing her shoes. "What is it?" he asked. 

For a moment she only blinked at him, and he realized that she had only ever seen him in full uniform. Then she shook herself and said, "I know it's been a long day, but would you mind stepping outside for a minute?" 

"Outside?" Why go outside at this time of night? he wondered. 

She faltered, not seeming to know how to explain herself. 

"All right," he agreed upon seeing her discomfort. Her face lit up, and despite his fatigue he found himself suddenly eager to go with her. He took a moment to put his shoes and jacket back on, and then the two of them went downstairs and out of the mansion. 

Lucrecia reached for his hand and took it hesitantly, glancing up at him for reassurance. Surprised though he was, he managed a slight smile, and her grip tightened as she led him down the street. 

They stopped once they passed through the town's gate, and Lucrecia's eyes travelled upward. Vincent followed her gaze to the sky and stood dumbstruck to find it strewn with stars, as though someone had spilled tiny diamonds across a sheet of black velvet. He had forgotten how beautiful the night sky could be; he had become all too used to Midgar's green haze and rarely bothered to look up anymore. 

At length he looked back at Lucrecia, finding her gaze already on him. 

"I just had to share this with someone," she said. "It's almost overwhelming when you're alone with this sky above you." 

Vincent nodded but did not reply. What did one say to that sort of thing? He could not seem to think. Lucrecia was there before him with her beautiful face cast in starlight and her blue-green eyes looking back at him. He let go her hand to touch that face as if to assure himself that it was real, and then he bent down to kiss her, bringing her closer with his other hand. 

Only after he at last pulled away did he realize what he had done, and he felt a sudden pang of anxiety. But, he told himself, she had responded in kind, and now she was smiling at him. He pulled her back into his arms, and they stood together in that embrace for a long time. 

Eventually Lucrecia stirred. "We should be getting back," she whispered reluctantly. 

Vincent let her go, and they stepped back from each other, though neither wanted to. 

"I'd love to stay out here," she said, "but..." 

"I understand," Vincent interrupted before she could finish. He did not want too many words to break this spell, and she seemed to feel the same, for she smiled and turned silently for the mansion, her hand slipping back into his. 

When he retired to bed that night, he slept deeply and dreamt only of her.

* * *

They had been in Nibelheim for a week shy of one month when the first good snow of the season fell upon the town. It was mid-December, and any villager would tell them that that was uncharacteristically late for this place. Already six inches carpeted the streets and houses, though by now it was early afternoon and the snowfall had lightened considerably. Lucrecia had been delighted to learn of the snow, but during the morning she had been unable to get away from her work. 

Now Vincent stood waiting near the front door while Lucrecia pulled on her heavy gear. When she was ready, they went outside together and trudged slowly through the snow, remarking on how beautiful the blanket of white had made the village. They stopped at the well in the center of town, and Lucrecia took a moment to clear away some of the snow so that she could sit atop the well. It had become one of her preferred spots, largely because only then was she able to look down on Vincent, rather than up at him. 

Vincent leaned against the well, taking in the perfect calm that the snow had brought to Nibelheim. 

"You know, Vincent, I've been thinking," Lucrecia said, her voice chiming like bells in the crisp air. "I always talk so much, you hardly ever get the chance to say anything." She waited for Vincent to meet her gaze and then added, "I don't really know much about you, it seems. Did you always live in Midgar? When did you join Shinra? And what about your family?" 

He looked away, focusing again on the village. "My father used to work for Shinra in its early days, and my mother was Wutain." 

"I _thought_ you looked Wutain," Lucrecia remarked. "I suppose you look like your mother, right? Was she pretty?" 

Vincent shook his head. "I don't remember; she died when I was still young." 

"Oh. I'm sorry." There was a pause, and then she said, "She must have been, unless you got your looks from your father." 

"I don't think so," he managed. 

"Well, go on. What was your father like then?" 

"'Distant' is really the only word that comes to mind. We moved to Midgar after my mother died, and he always worked late. I suppose neither of us were very good at relating to people. We were never close, and he died when I was fourteen." 

"How did he die?" Lucrecia asked, sounding both surprised and sympathetic. 

"I don't know. No one ever told me the details." He considered saying more, but decided against it. Even if he was talking to Lucrecia, he did not like to say much about himself. He would give her what she asked for, but not much more. 

"Did you have any other relatives that you could live with?" 

"No," he answered, "or at least, none in Midgar." 

"So what happened to you?" 

"I spent a few years in an orphanage until they decided I was capable of taking care of myself. After that, I was on the streets for a while. Eventually, I managed to sign up with Shinra's army." He shook his head slightly. "After that, there really isn't much to say." 

"It sounds like you had a rough time," Lucrecia said. "I can't imagine growing up alone in Midgar, of all places. I had enough trouble even with both my parents to support me." 

Vincent only shrugged. 

"How old are you now?" she asked suddenly. "I don't think you've told me." 

"Twenty-six, as of October." 

"October? Why didn't you say anything? I would've gotten you something." 

He glanced at her curiously. "It was the thirteenth; I didn't even know your name then. Besides, my birthday has never been very important." 

"Maybe not," she conceded, "but I think it's nice to have a special day for yourself each year. It might as well be your birthday." 

"Yours is May seventh, right?" Vincent asked, deciding that if she thought it was important, he ought to remember. 

She nodded, though she seemed surprised. "Whenever did I tell you?" She shook her head dismissively. "I guess it just shows that you listen well. I'm always worried I might be boring you." 

"Quite the contrary," he said, "I love to hear you talk about yourself." 

Lucrecia smiled sheepishly. "Am I really that interesting?" 

"Very much so." 

"I'm glad. I tend to get carried away sometimes." 

"I don't mind." 

Her smile broadened, and she hopped down from the well. "I love that about you, that you're always so willing to listen. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you to talk to." 

He smiled back at her, not voicing any of his thoughts. What about Hojo? He had seen her talking to him numerous times, and not while they were working. Did she not speak with him as freely as she did with Vincent? Or was she keeping something from him? 

"Now," Lucrecia said decisively before he could get caught up in his worries, "we can't let all this snow go to waste." 

"What do you mean?" he wondered. 

"Don't tell me you've never played in the snow before," she said incredulously. 

He shook his head. 

"You really missed out," she told him, shaking her head. "I guess we'll just have to remedy that, won't we?" With that, she scooped up a handful of snow from the well, threw it at him playfully, and turned to run. 

Vincent recovered quickly from his surprise and went chasing after her. The ensuing snowball fight lasted for several minutes before at last Vincent caught her up from behind, grabbing her about the waist. She put up enough of a struggle to throw him off-balance, and the two of them fell together into the snow. Lucrecia lay on top of him giggling for a moment before she picked herself up and offered him her hand as he sat up. 

Taking it, Vincent pulled her back down and kissed her. They sat there together in the snow for a long moment, until Lucrecia shivered slightly and Vincent pulled back to look at her. 

"Are you getting cold?" he asked. "Perhaps we ought to go inside." 

She nodded silently, he helped her to her feet, and they walked back along the snow-laden street to the mansion. 

"How about some hot chocolate?" Lucrecia asked as they were taking off their coats and boots. 

"Sure," he replied, knowing that she did not like it when he responded indifferently. 

She went off to the kitchen, and Vincent followed at a slower pace, staying just at the doorway to make certain he didn't get in her way. After a couple minutes, she handed him a mug and they both sat down at the kitchen table to let the drinks warm their hands. 

"You know, you've never said a word to me about your job," Lucrecia remarked cautiously. 

"Hm?" 

"What it's like to be a Turk, I mean." 

"I think that you'd prefer not to know," he told her, briefly meeting her gaze. 

She shook her head. "I'd rather have something more to go on than the nasty rumors you hear about Turks. After meeting you... Well, it can't be as bad as they say it is." 

He looked down into his mug. "Much of what they say is true," he said. "We are involved in murder and kidnapping, whatever shady work Shinra deems necessary, most of which I am not at liberty to tell you about." 

Lucrecia frowned thoughtfully. "But how do you live doing things like that?" 

"Those of us promoted to the Turks can and do distance our emotions," he explained. "Yes, there is guilt, but it's simple enough to ignore it." 

"Then how do you explain... us? You certainly haven't ignored your feelings for me." 

Vincent turned to look at her. "I don't know why I was unable to bury these emotions with the others, but I am thankful for that failure. I love you, and I don't know what I would do if I had never met you." 

"I know," was all she said, lessening the sting with her beautiful smile. Not once had she ever said 'I love you, too.' Not once. But he could not bring himself to criticize her for it; he could wait for her reply, couldn't he? And so all he did in response was return her smile.

* * *

It was snowing again, as it often had over the past month, and in most places it was too deep for all but the most ambitious to walk through. It had been some time since they had been able to pay a visit to the reactor where Jenova was kept, and they had even decided to give up on the town until the snow let up a bit. Lucrecia sat with Hojo by the window in the piano room, watching the snow fall and wishing she could be out in it again. The frequent snowfalls here made her feel like a child again. 

Even she had to admit, however, that this was no weather to venture out into, so she contented herself with watching. Anyway, it was a rare enough occasion that she and Hojo had no pressing work to do. The Jenova Project kept all three scientists very busy, but for once their ambitions had been thwarted by the snowstorm, and until they could get out of the mansion again, they would have a lot of free time on their hands. 

Which was fine with Lucrecia. She loved her work, but nevertheless it was tiring, and it gave her the opportunity to really talk with Hojo as she had not done in some time. 

"So what made you want to become a scientist?" she asked him. She realized that it must have seemed very abrupt, but she had been wondering lately. 

Hojo turned from the window to look at her, his normally harsh expression softening as he met her gaze. "I suppose I've always been interested in how we came to exist here... Or, rather, how we could use that knowledge to better ourselves." 

"That's why you wanted to be included in the Jenova Project, isn't it?" 

"Yes, exactly. We have come a long way since the time of the Ancients, but we lost a great many things along the way. Things that could prove very helpful to us if we were to rediscover them now." 

Lucrecia nodded. "I've always thought that way, too. The Ancients were supposedly great healers, and they were so much more in tune with the planet's workings than we are now. We could help a lot of people, and go much farther with science, if we could find a way to bring those back. The how of it is where we run into trouble..." 

"It's really a question of genetics," Hojo said. "It seems that there's too much damage to the Jenova specimen to clone it, but if we could use its cells to modify humans... Well, that might be possible." 

"Do we really have the technology to perform such an experiment safely?" she wondered, tapping her forefinger against her lip. 

"There is risk in any experiment," he said dismissively. "The real obstacle is getting permission from the company." 

"Have you already run it past Professor Gast then?" 

Hojo nodded. "He and I were discussing the problem earlier. He seems to think it very safe; considering that we are descended from the Ancients, their genetic structure can't be much different from our own." 

"I suppose we'll manage to convince the company eventually. Then it's only a question of finding a guinea pig for the experiment, and I doubt there will be many willing to do it." 

"We'll figure something out." 

"You're right," she agreed. She turned to watch the falling snow, which showed no signs of letting up. "How much longer do you think it's going to keep snowing?" 

Hojo shook his head, frowning. "It's the dead of winter; it could last for days, at this rate." 

"Well, at least we get something of a break," Lucrecia pointed out, though she knew Hojo tended to prefer his work to his so-called leisure time. "It should give us time to think about where we're going with the Jenova Project, too." 

"We know where we're going," he stated. "It's getting there that needs thinking about."

* * *

It was a warm day--at least, comparatively so--in late February, and the sun had set out this day to melt the accumulated snow. By now it had nearly reached its peak in the sky, and the brown tips of buried grass were beginning to poke through the snow. With the trees still bare and the air still chilly, spring was obviously still a ways off, but nevertheless those in Nibelheim were enjoying the rare sunny day. 

Vincent had decided that this was as good a day as any, and so he had told Lucrecia that he had something important to say. Now the two of them were walking hand-in-hand through the melting snow out to the gate of Nibelheim where they had first kissed. 

He turned to her, taking up her other hand, and for a moment he could only stand in silence, searching her face as if for some sign that he was right to ask her this. She offered him a smile, and so he began quietly, "I've been thinking a lot recently, about us and where this is going. I know that I love you, Lucrecia, and that's not going to change, so I want to ask you... Will you marry me?" 

Her smile faltered then, and she dropped her gaze. At once he knew that he should not have asked, and his grip on her hands loosened. He tried not to let his disappointment show--he did not want her to feel guilty for refusing him--but he could not help it. 

"I... I'm sorry," she stammered, breaking away and hurrying past him out of Nibelheim. 

He nearly called out after her, but how could he offer her comfort when she did not want him? So he turned dejectedly back into town, meandering its few streets without purpose or direction. He supposed that she did not love him. He had thought that he had felt it in the way she behaved around him, but she had never said it, so he must have been wrong. Why then, had she allowed him to touch her that way? Had she thought it harmless, a shallow love affair that she could enjoy but that would not endure? Or was she simply not ready for this? 

At length he decided that he had best go look for her, so he set out at first from Nibelheim to search the plains a ways. She could not have gone too far, he thought, for that would have been irrational. It was also possible that she might have already returned to town without him noticing. When he did not find her, he turned to go back to Nibelheim. 

And there, at the gates, he saw her in Hojo's arms. Her face was buried in his chest, and he held her close, stroking her hair and whispering words of some comfort to her. Neither of them noticed him. 

Vincent turned away. So, that was it; she preferred Hojo to him. She had just never had the heart to tell him otherwise. It hurt, knowing that she loved Hojo, not him. Hojo did not seem like the sort of man who would treat her the way she deserved, but he had to admit that he did not know the man very well, and anyway, he himself was a Turk. It wasn't as though he deserved her, murderer that he was. So he took the pain and shoved it into an isolated corner of his heart. _If she is happy_, he told himself, _then... I don't mind._

* * *

"We've just received word from the President," came Hojo's voice from the doorway to their now-shared bedroom. "He's approved the experiment." 

"Oh?" Lucrecia murmured absently. Her thoughts were elsewhere. At the moment, she did not care about the experiment in the slightest. Ever since Vincent's proposal, things had not been the same between them. He had kept his distance from her, and to fill that painful gap she had turned to Hojo, and... 

"Is something wrong?" Hojo asked, lifting her chin so that she had to meet his gaze. 

"No, nothing's wrong," she lied. "I'm fine." 

He continued to study her face, not satisfied with such an answer. "That Turk, Vincent--he's not bothering you, is he?" 

She shook her head, pushing his hand away. "No, no, he's not. I told you, there's nothing wrong." 

Although he was still visibly doubtful, Hojo did no more than frown. "As we've discussed before," he went on, "the Project requires a guinea pig." 

"We'll figure something out, just as you said," Lucrecia said, purposefully ignoring the suggestion in his tone. 

He glanced at her over his shoulder. "I had thought that perhaps you could..." 

Her gaze dropped to the silver wedding band on her finger. "I see." 

"It's your choice, of course," he said quickly. "I only thought that you would be the ideal choice, considering your extensive knowledge and understanding of the Project." 

"I'll think about it," she answered quietly, though in her current state of mind she doubted she could endure much persuasion. 

"This experiment is vital to our purpose; you've acknowledged as much yourself." 

"I know," she said more forcefully, briefly meeting his gaze. "I just need some time to consider the dangers. No experiment is without risk; surely you remember who said that." 

That silenced him for a moment. Then he said, "You don't have to worry about that, Lucrecia. You'll be well taken care of." 

She nodded tiredly. "Give me a few days to think on it, that's all I ask." 

"Fine." 

Lucrecia knew--and Hojo had probably guessed as much--that it was not really the experiment itself that worried her. Rather, her concerns lay with how Vincent would react. Her hasty marriage to Hojo had already been too harsh a blow to him; if he learned that she had so devoted herself to the Jenova Project, what then? Or had he already resigned himself to losing her entirely?

* * *

The door was wide open, but Vincent could not bring himself to enter--_she_ was in there. She was playing the piano, as she often did in her free time, but rarely was the melody so hauntingly beautiful as this. The despondent notes had drawn him to this hallway, and he had stopped just outside the room, remaining just out of her sight. He did not want to trouble her with his presence, but at the same time, he missed her terribly. He had barely spoken to her since her marriage to Hojo nearly two months ago. 

When the song seemed to be drawing to a close, Vincent took a calming breath and turned into the room. He paused some paces away, watching her delicate fingers dance across the ivories until at last she reached the final note. Its memory lingered in the air as she turned to him, tricking the ear into thinking that it was yet audible. 

Immediately he noticed that her usual warmth and spirit had gone from her eyes, leaving them twin pools of blue-green as hauntingly empty as the melody that she had just finished. Even Vincent began to doubt that he was the one doing her such harm. 

She smiled at him--or, rather, she tried to, but her face seemed to have forgotten the expression. 

"What was that song, Lucrecia?" he asked her, unable to voice the questions that really needed answering. 

She shook her head slowly, and when she spoke her voice was hoarse, as though from suppressed tears. "I don't remember where I picked it up... It's been ages since I... last played it." She hesitated before adding, "It reminds me of you." 

Vincent blinked. If that melody made her think of him, then she saw more than he had wanted her to. He would have to strengthen his resolve; he did not want her feeling sorry for him. Obviously she had enough troubles without him to add to them. 

"What's wrong?" he managed quietly, moving closer to the piano. He doubted that he could help, but it pained him to see her like this. 

She dropped her gaze as he came to stand beside her. "I... Vincent, I'm..." Her eyes glistened, and she swallowed hard in an attempt to fight back the unwanted tears. "I'm pregnant," she said finally, letting out a muffled sob. Rising to her feet, she pushed past him and hurried out of the piano room. 

He stared after her, shocked and confused. She and Hojo were having a child? And, however much Vincent disliked it, shouldn't she have been happy about it? She had remarked often enough that she loved children, and he was certain that she would make a good mother. 

Or was this his fault again? His presence was complicating things. He wished that he could tell her that it was all right, that he did not mind, but he knew that she would see through that lie in an instant. She knew him all too well. 

Even so, she was not one to let such things upset her so strongly. Was there more to this, something that she had not told him? 

He stood slowly and made his way down to the basement, knowing that if she was not in her room, then that was where she would be. It had become her refuge over the past few months, the one place that Vincent really had no business entering. But he needed to know what this was all about, so he let himself into the lab and looked around for Lucrecia. 

She was there, as he had anticipated, but so was Hojo. He looked up sharply as Vincent entered, and Lucrecia, her eyes still red from crying, followed his gaze. Her gaze dropped when she saw who had caught Hojo's attention. 

"What exactly is going on?" Vincent demanded. "Explain it to me." 

Hojo glared at him, but he answered, "It's an experiment designed to test the reaction of human growth to Jenova cells." 

"What?" He was too shocked to maintain his emotionless facade. "And you would do this to your own wife?" 

"She volunteered; it was her choice," the scientist stated defensively. "Besides, we've been experimenting for months. There's very little danger involved." 

Vincent shook his head forcefully. "I'm against it! Why experiments on humans?" 

"She and I are both scientists!" Hojo declared, voice matching Vincent's in volume. Beside him, Lucrecia only stared at her hands, looking ashamed. 

"Look at her!" the Turk exclaimed, gesturing forcefully with one hand. "Does she look at all happy with this experiment?" 

At this Lucrecia raised her head. "Vincent, please--" 

"It was her decision!" Hojo interrupted, striding across the room. "And it's no business of yours!" With that, he shoved Vincent out of the laboratory and slammed the door shut in his face.

* * *

Outside the wind shrilled tunelessly, hurling itself against the freezing windowpane. Snowflakes borne by the gusts battered feebly against the glass, some landing on the outer sill while others bounced away and fell onward with their kin. There was never any end to this snow, never anything beyond the formless white. 

Lucrecia sat alone in her room, staring out the window, one pale hand resting on her swollen abdomen. She knew that she was in no condition to go out into such a blizzard, even briefly, but that did not really bother her. Nowadays the snow brought her only the memory of joy, and it was enough for her to merely observe it. 

She shivered slightly, but did not bother to draw close the blanket that lay rumpled at her waist. This mansion was always cold during the winter, but she wasn't certain that the chill she felt was entirely physical. She had grown so distant from everyone; she could not recall the last time she had seen Vincent, and no matter how often she saw Hojo, she never felt that he noticed her anymore. For a long time, her thoughts had been her only company. 

How long had it been since Vincent had proposed to her? By now it was late December. Ten months then, but she could still remember it with such clarity. She could recall the look in his brown eyes, more expressive than any she had seen in him before, and the emotion in his voice as he posed the question. He had been ready to open up to her. 

But she had fled from his question, and since that day his face had frozen over again. He was colder now than he had been before they had met, she was sure, and that was her fault. To deal with his pain, the only thing he could do was seal it away. 

She had made such a mistake in refusing him. She should have kept her calm and told him that she needed some time to think about it. That would have disappointed him some, but certainly it was a lesser blow than what her panic had made her do to him. The question had caught her so off-guard--though it should not have--that she had not known how to respond. Why hadn't she stayed and fumbled out a decent reply? Why hadn't she said yes? And why, oh why, had she run to Hojo, for whom her love was now dwindling? 

She wished that she could see Vincent again. She wanted him to hold her in his arms as he once had. She had felt so secure in those arms. But at the same time she knew that seeing him now, after all these months, would only reopen old wounds for the both of them. 

She wished, too, that Hojo would look at her as he used to. The kindness had gone from his eyes, and the touch of his hands was no longer gentle. As the months had gone by, he had begun treating her more and more brusquely until now she felt as though she were just another specimen to him. Was that all he saw when he looked at her now? Did her only value lay in the child growing inside of her? Would he simply forget her once it was born? 

Of course, perhaps then it would not even matter. She could feel herself weakening, growing more fragile with each passing day. Perhaps she would regain her health after the baby was born, but more likely she would not survive the birth. At this point she doubted that she would mind dying. It would mean an end to this suffering, but that was a selfish way to look at it. Vincent, she knew, would be devastated, and what of her baby? 

Lucrecia did not want her child to grow up without a mother, especially with Hojo for a father. With how callous he had become towards her, she worried that their child would endure the same treatment, or worse. And so, for her baby's sake, she would have to resist death's temptation. She could not let Hojo raise it on his own. 

A soft knock on the door drew her reluctant attention. "Come in," she said, the faint quality of her own voice surprising her. 

Professor Gast entered, concern plain on his features. "Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked, though it really was not necessary. At the shake of her head, he took a seat in the chair by her bed, leaning over briefly to pull the blanket up to her shoulders. A part of her welcomed the warmth, but she lost a part of her connection with the snow outside. 

"I've been worried about you," Gast said. "You haven't been yourself for months. What's wrong?" 

"I'm fine," she lied. "I just find myself tired much of the time." 

"That can't be all there is to it. Is the Project worrying you?" 

She shook her head. 

"Is... Vincent bothering you?" 

"Not at all," she replied, surprised at how steadily the words came out. 

"Then please, tell me what's upsetting you." 

"It's nothing you need worry yourself over, Professor." 

He looked at her carefully for a moment, unconvinced, then nodded slowly and stood. "Just keep in mind that I can lend an ear if you need one." He faltered. "Although I suppose you have Hojo to talk to." 

Lucrecia nodded slightly, and he left the room, managing at the very least to discern that she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. The man was brilliant, but he had never been very perceptive when it came to people. 

With a sigh, she turned her gaze back to the window, watching the snowflakes as they rode the wind down to the deep drifts below.

* * *

After giving birth to her child, Sephiroth, Lucrecia had chosen to move into the inn. Vincent suspected that she had done so to further isolate herself, and he did not blame her for wanting to get away from him. Considering her health, however, she shouldn't have cut herself off from the others as well. Now, with Gast in Midgar dealing with the Company and Hojo too busy with their newest specimen, there was no one else to make sure she was all right. No one but Vincent. 

He trudged through the snow-covered streets to the inn, wrenched open the door, and stepped inside. He felt he had to move swiftly, lest he lose his resolve. He had not purposefully gone to see her since months before Sephiroth's birth. Quickening his step, Vincent went up the stairs to her room and knocked on her door. 

When at first there was no answer, it did not surprise him, but subsequent knockings brought no response, and he began to worry. He found the door unlocked, and he opened it a crack to peer inside. At once he flung the door wide and rushed to Lucrecia, who lay sprawled prone on the floor. He gently pulled her into his lap and felt for a pulse. She was alive--barely. 

Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked up at him dazedly. "Vincent... Am I... dreaming?" 

He shook his head dumbly, not knowing what she meant. 

She closed her eyes briefly. "I wanted to see you... but, I..." 

"You need a doctor," he said. "I'll go find--" 

"No," she interrupted softly, looking up at him steadily despite her weakness. "No, I think... I think it's too late now." 

Vincent looked back at her helplessly. "Then what... what do you want me to do?" 

"I want to see my son," Lucrecia whispered. "They never... let me hold him. Please, Vincent, I want to hold him, just once..." 

He nodded hesitantly and carried her to her bed, carefully laying her down. "I'll be back soon," he assured her. "And I'll bring help; you're not going to die." He wished that he could believe his own words. They both knew that they were but pretense. 

"Just bring my son," she said. 

Again Vincent nodded, more confidently this time, and with one last glance at her, he ran back to the mansion as fast as his legs could carry him. Nearly falling on the stairs, he at last reached the laboratory and flung open the door. 

Hojo looked up sharply from where he stood examining Sephiroth. "What do you want?" he demanded. 

"Lucrecia is dying!" Vincent exclaimed breathlessly. He took a step farther into the room, gesturing desperately with one hand. "You have to help her!" 

In that first instant, anxiety creased Hojo's face, and he ran both hands through his hair in distress. But then he suppressed the worry, drew a gun from his lab coat, and fired a single shot. 

Pain stabbed through Vincent's chest. Everything had happened too quickly for him to comprehend. He had not even had time to scream, and already his legs were giving way beneath him. He crumpled to the floor, his consciousness ebbing away, leaving him with one final thought: 

_I've failed her._

* * *

Author's Notes  
Vincent's nightmares... part 2! Yyeah... Originally I think I may have intended to start them with Nibelheim, but I decided against it, and I'm glad I did. I wouldn't have been able to establish Vincent's connection with Talya otherwise. I cut out a lot of unnecessary description from this, both of the mansion and the reactor. Pointless stuff, really. We do, however, get a brief account of Vincent's, erm... previous past. >> In the original version he only ever visited Wutai and his mom died giving birth to him, but I decided that was a bit too much like Sephiroth, and I like the idea of Vincent spending his early childhood in Wutai. Wutai t3h awesome. 

Fun fact: This is the chapter where the title "Like Fallen Angels" came from. Up until then, the story had been unnamed. Though it's gone from the rewrite, Lucrecia's ruminations once contained the line "And always the flakes continued to come down, like tiny angels, fallen from grace." And now you know! 


	6. Forgotten Ties

**Chapter 5: Forgotten Ties**

_He sat on a cold examining table with a bright light bearing down on him. From within this circle of light, the rest of the lab seemed deep in shadows, a perfect place for monsters to be lurking. Of course, the only monster here was standing right in front of him, preparing a syringe. _

The boy sat nearly still, paralyzed by his fear of this man but unable to fight back the tears that welled up at simply being here. He wanted to bolt from this lab, but he knew that the Professor would catch him and force him into submission. Fleeing would only make this worse. But still he dreaded the shot, yet another needle, an unpleasant sharp thing that carried something foreign into his blood and made it scream. 

"Quiet, boy," the Professor snapped, hearing his specimen's sniffling. "Stop crying. A soldier isn't supposed to cry, now is he?" 

"No, Professor," he managed. 

The monster turned to him with the ready needle in hand. He took the boy's arm. 

"Please, you do this every week," the boy implored. "It's never any different, so why--?" 

"I'll tolerate none of that, boy. Just sit quiet and do as I say." 

"...yes, Professor."

* * *

Sephiroth was awakened by the warmth of sunlight playing across his face. He opened his eyes, turning his head towards the window. He felt disoriented, but not by his surroundings. That had been too vivid and coherent for a dream. Was his memory at last beginning to surface, triggered by the sight of familiar places? 

He climbed out of the bed, pulled his boots back on, and went with some reluctance to wake Katrina. She looked to be sleeping peacefully, and for that he envied her. 

When he shook her, she opened one grey eye to look at him blearily, then slowly sat up. "Are we leaving now?" she asked, rubbing her eyes. 

"Yes," he replied curtly. He went to Tifa's room where Vincent had spent the night, and found the man lying on his side facing the wall, twisted sheets beneath him and blanket thrown to the floor. 

"Go ahead," Vincent said before Sephiroth could speak. "I'll join you in a moment." 

The swordsman accepted this silently and left the house, finding Katrina outside waiting for him. 

"Isn't Vincent coming?" she asked, peering past him as the door fell shut. 

"In a moment," Sephiroth replied. 

They waited for a few minutes before the ex-Turk came out to join them, appearing even more pale and withdrawn than usual. The swordsman studied him carefully for a moment before speaking. 

"I've decided to do what I can to atone," Sephiroth said. "If this is a second chance, then I ought to do something of merit." 

His companions were silent for a moment, and then Katrina asked, "Where do we start?" 

He turned his gaze northward. "Vincent, you said that nothing can be done for the dead, but I am not content to accept that without trying. That Cetra girl... Aeris... her body is in the City of the Ancients, is it not? I want to try to bring her back."

* * *

Aeris sat back from the mirror, dumbfounded. He was going to try reviving her? That was impossible... wasn't it? She had to admit that Sephiroth was the most powerful being on the face of the Planet. He had nearly become a god, so perhaps he could bring back the dead. 

So, if he succeeded, what then? For five years, her role as an observer had consumed her, and now this chance at living again had sent her mind reeling. What would she do? Where would she go? Would anyone even want her anymore? Perhaps the sight of her would only bring her friends more pain. She knew that she no longer had any place in their lives. They had moved on without her, as they should have. 

What did she have left to go back to? 

Aeris turned to her mother, who had sat down beside her. "Do you think it'll work?" 

Ifalna shook her head. "I doubt it. But, then again, his healing powers haven't really been tested. The real question is, do you want it to work?" 

She turned her attention back to the mirror. "I'm not even sure..."

* * *

Both Sephiroth and Katrina stared as Vincent led them into the heart of the City of the Ancients. Although the swordsman recognized this place, nevertheless its beauty took him by surprise. The crystalline lake before them, the haunting bone-white trees, and the strange pale blue glow that permeated the place captivated him. 

Upon reaching the water's edge, he glanced questioningly at Vincent. 

"Cloud placed her body in this lake after she died," he explained. "This is her grave." 

A short silence followed. 

"So... somebody has to swim down and get her?" Katrina asked, eyeing the water dubiously. Sephiroth could not understand why she had come with them; she could not possibly find such company pleasant, could she? Perhaps she was only afraid of being on her own. 

"I'll go," Sephiroth said. For a moment Vincent looked as though he might dispute that, but Sephiroth had already shrugged out of his coat and was pulling off his boots. He waded barefoot into the water, and when the lake bed suddenly dropped out beneath him, he dove, searching for the telltale pink of her dress. He did not spot her until he was almost out of air, and then he had to return briefly to the surface before retrieving her. He carried her back to the shore, the both of them dripping wet, and laid her down. 

The lake's strange waters had done a good job of preserving her; she almost looked as though she were asleep, but then his eye came to the hole in her body, just below her ribcage, and the illusion was ruined. So that was how he had killed her, coming down swift from above, blade lancing clean through her. 

Sephiroth shook his head and reached for one of her lifeless hands, taking it tentatively. Not wasting time with uncertainties, he closed his eyes and cast about for the knowledge he needed to undo what he had done five years ago. 

He searched first for her soul, the key part of this, and nearly started when something--or someone--seemed to hand it to him. He accepted it carefully, and for a moment that responsibility overwhelmed him. 

He could see her in the Sleeping Forest, saying farewell to Cloud, telling him that she could handle Sephiroth on her own. 

_I'll come back when it's all over._

He could see her, too, kneeling on the City's altar, praying for Holy. He knew that she was forcing herself to stay calm; beneath that tranquility, she was desperate, pleading, hoping where there was very little hope. 

And then in one instant he had ended it. She had fallen dead into Cloud's arms, and he had stood by, aloof and uncaring. 

Why did her soul not seem repulsed by his touch? 

He guided her soul back into her body and sealed it there, pouring as much energy into the binding spell as he could, stopping only when he felt a sudden pulse in her wrist. 

Sephiroth started, letting go her hand and staring at her. Was she alive again? Had he actually done it? And how in nine hells was she going to react to seeing him? 

He faltered and considered leaving this place before she even saw him, but he noticed that her wound had begun to bleed again. 

And then she opened her eyes, and he found himself frozen to the spot.

* * *

Aeris found his eyes the moment she awoke, and she jerked up, trying and failing to get away from him. Falling back onto one elbow, she stared at him, her heart beating wildly and the pain of her wound returning in a flash. 

A moment passed, and then her memories rushed back. He had brought her back, she recalled, though the knowledge did not make his blue-green eyes any less unsettling. "My wound," she gasped, but was unable to say any more. 

Sephiroth started and broke her gaze, quickly laying his hand over the gash. She felt the swirl of magic around them and the warm sensation of healing as his spell knit her flesh back together. When he had finished, the fatal wound was nothing more than a pair of shallow cuts. 

The swordsman did not meet her eyes again, but neither did he move. He seemed to be waiting for something, some word from her, a reaction, a condemnation. 

She tried to sit up, and this time she managed it, though she felt so weak that she very much doubted she would be able to stand. "I..." she began uncertainly, and then stopped, realizing she did not know what to say to him. He was her murderer, but he was no longer the same man as when he had killed her. Was he, then, the man he had been before all this? 

"You told me that I'd see you again," she said at length, "but after all that, I didn't think I would." 

Sephiroth looked back at her uncertainly. "What do you mean?" 

She shook her head dismissively, realizing that he still wouldn't remember, and maybe he never would. "I've been watching you," she said, "from the Promised Land. So... there's no need to explain. This is your second chance." 

They were both silent for a moment, until Aeris shivered suddenly. She remembered then where she was, and that she was soaked to the bone, and that Vincent and the girl, Katrina, were watching. She felt some relief with the last realization. Even if Sephiroth had his sanity again, each time she looked at him she was reminded of her death. 

"Do you want this?" Sephiroth asked her, having retrieved his coat and poised to hand it to her. "I know... since it's mine..." 

"I'd appreciate it," she managed, glad that, in spite of her fear, she still sounded like she meant it. She took his coat from him gingerly and wrapped it about her shoulders. 

No longer needed, the swordsman picked up his boots and stood, swiftly removing himself. "We should leave now," he said to Vincent in passing. "I don't belong here." 

Vincent stepped closer to Aeris and crouched down beside her. "Do you need help walking?" he asked her quietly. 

"I'm not even sure I can stand," she confessed. 

"I will carry you then." There was no question in his voice; he knew that someone would have to, and that she would be even less comfortable in Sephiroth's arms than in his. So, at her nod, he gathered her into his arms, mindful of his claw, and stood. 

Sephiroth and Katrina stood waiting, the girl's eyes still holding some disbelief. The swordsman met Aeris's gaze briefly before he turned to lead the way back out of the City. She shuddered involuntarily and drew his coat closer about her, though she knew that much of her discomfort had little to do with the cold.

* * *

From the City, they went to the nearby Bone Village and checked into the inn. What a sight they must have made, Vincent looking like a vampire who had stolen some girl away from her home, Sephiroth returned from the dead and currently bare-chested, and Katrina hiding behind him, not wanting anyone to see her. Indeed the innkeeper stared at them in astonishment for some time. Vincent had to ask thrice for a room before the man gave them a key and told them the number. 

The four of them went up to their room, which only had two beds. Normally that would not have mattered, but for once Sephiroth felt tired. In fact, he felt exhausted. Reviving Aeris had taken more out of him than he had thought it would. 

Vincent lay Aeris down on one of the beds and moved to lean against the wall nearby. Katrina sat down on the other bed, testing its mattress, and Sephiroth sunk gratefully into the room's only chair. He closed his eyes, intending to get some rest there and then, but he felt that the others were waiting for him to speak. He sat up and looked at each of them, his gaze lingering on Aeris. Something important had happened between them, he felt, something that he had forgotten and that Vincent knew nothing about. 

"There is still much for me to do if I want to atone," Sephiroth said at length, lowering his gaze as it seemed to make Aeris uneasy. "I don't expect any of you to accompany me, least of all you, Miss... ah... Aeris." He did not feel that he had the right to address her by her first name, but he did not remember her last. 

Katrina was the first to reply, and the certitude of her words surprised him. "Well, I'm certainly not going to stop here," she said, "so I'm sticking with you until we get to Cosmo Canyon." 

"You would really prefer that to going home?" he asked her with some incredulity. 

"I left for a reason, you know, and you're pretty interesting company." 

Shaking his head, Sephiroth turned his gaze on Vincent. "And you?" 

"I would go with you, but Aeris ought not be left alone in her condition, and I doubt she wants to be near you." 

The swordsman looked to her for confirmation. 

Aeris looked down, tucking a strand of damp hair behind her ear. "Vincent... Vincent's right," she said softly. "I can still... remember when you killed me. I know you're different now, but it's still hard to be near you." She glanced at Vincent. "I'm sorry to put this on you, Vincent, but I _would_ appreciate someone staying here with me until I recover." 

"It's no trouble," he assured her. 

"Then I suppose it's settled," Sephiroth said. "Katrina and I will leave in the morning." 

Aeris looked at him quickly, but immediately averted her gaze, unable to meet his eyes. She seemed to have something on her mind, but she did not voice it, and Sephiroth was not about to ask. 

Closing his eyes again, the swordsman drifted off to sleep, feeling for the first time that he needed it.

* * *

_"Where is my mother?" _

The red-haired woman sitting beside his bed looked at him guardedly. "Why do you keep asking me about your mother?" 

"Everyone has one, don't they?" he asked, wondering briefly if he was so different that he did not really have a mother. 

"Yes," she answered curtly. 

"So what happened to mine?" he persisted. "And to my father?" 

"They... left." 

They had left him behind? "But where did they go? I want to go see them." 

"You can't," the woman stated with a shake of her head. "The Professor wouldn't allow it." 

"He doesn't have to know." 

"You think he wouldn't find out?" she asked sharply. 

Sephiroth was silent for a moment. "He told me today that my mother's name was Jenova," he said, frowning, "but I don't want to believe that. Jenova is the name printed on those books in the basement. My mother couldn't have been a specimen like me, could she?" 

She hesitated. "I don't know much about your mother, but her name was not Jenova." 

"What was it then?" 

"...Lucrecia," she answered eventually. "Your mother was Lucrecia." 

"Why did the Professor tell me otherwise? Shouldn't he know?" 

The woman shook her head and looked at him seriously. "You shouldn't trust anything Hojo says. Truth doesn't matter to him. He has plans for you, and he's not about to play fair in getting you to go along with them." 

"If he's such a liar, why do you work for him?" 

She looked away. "I have my reasons." 

The boy studied her uncertainly, but asked no more questions. Already he had gotten more answers from her than any other time. Perhaps, he thought, she was finally beginning to see him as a real person, rather than the experiment the Professor claimed him to be.

* * *

He woke the next morning to find that the others were already up, and that someone had draped his coat over him as a blanket. It had probably been Katrina, he guessed; Vincent would not have bothered, and Aeris had neither the strength nor the desire to get so close to him. 

Sephiroth stood and pulled on his coat, nodding absently to Katrina's friendly 'good morning.' 

Vincent handed him a PHS. "If you need to speak with me while on your journey, use this." 

The swordsman accepted it with a nod, noting that this PHS belonged to Aeris. They had stopped by one of the shell houses on their way out of the City to retrieve what meager belongings she had left there so many years ago. 

"I suppose this is farewell for a while," he said to Vincent. "I thank you for your assistance, and for telling me what I needed to know." 

The ex-Turk shook his head. "You should not thank me. I did none of this for you." 

"Your reasons don't matter. I am still grateful." He turned to Katrina. "Shall we go?" 

"Sephiroth," Aeris called out just as his hand reached the doorknob. 

He looked back at her questioningly. What could she possibly have to say to the likes of him? 

"Thank you," she said, managing a faint smile. "Thank you for calling me back." 

He could only stare at her in astonishment. How could she thank him when it was he who had killed her in the first place? She did not owe him any gratitude, and he did not deserve it. He had murdered her. Why was she thanking him? Unable to make sense of this, he turned the knob and stepped out into the hallway without replying. 

Katrina followed him, silent until they had made it past the innkeeper and out into the street. "You should have said something," she told him. 

"What exactly was I supposed to say?" he asked just a little too harshly. 

The girl seemed unfazed. "'You're welcome' would have been a good start." 

He shook his head. "That implies that I did something to merit her thanks." 

"You didn't have to bring her back, you know. You could have just taken for granted that dead people stay dead like the rest of us and tried to help people who were still alive. The fact that you refused to accept that has got to count for something." 

They reached the chocobos that they had left in the care of a villager, and he looked back at her in confusion. "Why are you saying these things?" 

"You saved my life," she replied. "No matter what else you've done, that makes you a good guy in my book." 

Sephiroth only frowned and pulled himself up onto one of the chocobos. Katrina pulled herself up behind him without waiting for his help and put her arms around his waist. Neither of them said anything further, and so they rode out of Bone Village in silence. 

He had thought for the past few days that once he had done all he could to make things right, the best thing would be to end his life. Surely the world would not want him around after he ceased to be useful. It would be better if he died. And yet, this girl who barely knew him considered him a 'good guy,' and Aeris, one of his victims, had thanked him with complete sincerity. What was he supposed to make of that? 

What _could_ he do afterwards? Certainly he did not deserve this life, and using it for himself seemed somehow profane. Still, if people were going to treat him this kindly, he did not want to die. The thought surprised him, and Sephiroth shook his head, reminding himself that it really did not matter what he wanted.

* * *

_Report filed by: Professor Nibori Hojo  
Date: September 6, 2017 CC  
Subject: S-A02-C01_

Specimen is now eight months old, but its rate of growth is far more rapid than any human infant. Appears and acts as one twice its age; already walking clumsily and can communicate using simple words. Professor Gast believes that as the child grows older, its growth rate will slow to that of a human. Nevertheless, a childhood shorter to any extent is a great scientific achievement, but if the growth does not slow, there is the possibility of premature aging and death. Still too early to confirm anything. 

As already noted, specimen was born with Mako eyes, but by now we have noticed that they seem to change color depending on mood. Color ranges from emerald green to pale blue, the former seen while subject is distressed, the latter while calm. Specimen is more frequently distressed. Obviously does not like being in lab, and lack of cooperation is beginning to become a nuisance. May have to request assistance from Shinra's Turks once subject is older. 

Also: specimen seems to display innate magical ability, as we had hoped. No way to measure it as yet, but child has demonstrated this ability on several occasions. Destroyed several pieces of equipment in lab (nothing irreplaceable) and set fire to one of my books. During one especially bad tantrum, subject sent out pulse that knocked out power in laboratory for some time. Fortunately, no data was lost, and the child's anger was soon remedied. Clearly the specimen shows a strong tendency towards what the Ancients called "black magic." Am sure that Shinra will be glad to have this child once it is older. 

"Talya," came a harsh, familiar voice, interrupting her reading. "I want you to go find your daughter. 

Still grinding her teeth over the last order he had given her, she decided to ignore him and continue reading.

_Report filed by: Professor Nibori Hojo  
Date: January 19, 2029 CC  
Subject: S-A02-C01_

Subject's growth had slowed down until recently. Considering its age, the sudden increased growth rate is not surprising. Unlike human adolescents, however, subject has become very withdrawn and no longer displays mood swings of any kind; eyes remain a neutral blue-green. Talya also attests to specimen's aloofness, and we both agree that its intelligence rivals that of the late Professor Gast. 

Magical ability has continued to increase. Recent tests in comparison to strength of materia show that specimen's destructive magic can be as much as 13 times stronger. Curative and barrier magic are less impressive, but still more effective than materia, averaging about twice as strong. Specimen also displays abilities attributable to magic but unattainable through the use of materia. A sort of telekinesis, for example. 

Specimen continues to spar with Talya daily, but she can no longer beat it under any circumstances. Will have to make her a more formidable opponent so that subject's training is not thus impeded. 

"Talya, I will not wait any longer," he said impatiently. "Get moving." 

She continued to ignore him. There wasn't much he could do to her. Well, she amended, there probably was, considering the Jenova cells he had injected himself with some years ago, but there was nothing he could do that would really change her mind. 

At the moment, she was more interested in refreshing her memory. It had been a long time since she had seen Sephiroth, and if she was going to find him...

_Final Report filed by: Professor Nibori Hojo  
Date: July 4, 2035 CC  
Subject: S-A02-C01_

Subject was displaying a strong desire to leave, and I had no way of stopping it. It obviously despises me and is quite capable of killing me without any effort. However, Shinra would not be pleased with the unconditional release of the specimen, so I took measures to ensure that it finds its way back to them. I have experimented over the past year with memory, and discovered a way of erasing it, actually in part thanks to specimen's little experiments on Talya. Gave serum to the subject several months before its inevitable departure, and expect that with its obvious talent for destruction, it will soon find its way to Midgar and request to join SOLDIER. I have sent a copy of the specimen's statistics to Shinra, but expect that he will be more impressed when specimen actually reaches him. 

"Talya!" barked Professor Hojo. "I've told you twice already, now go find your daughter." 

The Turk sighed, flipped the file shut, and got to her feet, scraping back her chair. "Yes, Professor," she said without respect. She put one hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want her for this time? I thought you were finished with the testing for a while." 

"I am," he snapped. Obviously her insubordination had not improved his mood. "She needs to learn what she can about Sephiroth before you bring him in. If he decides to put up a fight, it will take the both of you to contain him." 

Talya nodded. "Let's hope he cooperates," she said. "I don't like the thought of fighting--" 

"I did not come down here for idle conversation," Hojo interrupted pointedly. 

She glared back at him, but acknowledged that any argument was pointless, and anyway, it wasn't as though she liked talking to him. Without another word, she turned to make her way into the reactor, where she knew her daughter would be wandering. 

For the millionth time, she wondered how she had gotten herself into this. She had never wanted to work for Hojo, but of course when he had requested assistance, the Company had sent the Turk they considered to be the least valuable--the woman, in other words. 

Technically, with Shinra long gone, she no longer had any obligation to stay. Certainly she wanted to quit, but things just weren't that simple anymore. Maybe Hojo would let her go, but he would not let her take her daughter with her, and Talya wasn't about to leave without her. 

And now, of course, Sephiroth had come back into the equation. 

She caught the faint sound of humming and froze so that her footsteps no longer obscured it. The sound was coming from a walkway some ways below her, so she leaned over the railing to look down. Sure enough, there was her daughter. The girl had taken to music immediately, much as Sephiroth had, but she did not appreciate an audience. Still, there was something strangely haunting about the girl's voice if you ever managed to catch her singing. 

"Minerva," she called down. 

The humming ceased abruptly and the girl looked up at her in question. 

"The Professor wants you." 

"I suppose he wants to brief me on Sephiroth," Minerva concluded. 

Talya blinked. She was sure she had said nothing about Sephiroth recently save to mention him. "Yes, exactly," she said, unable to keep the surprise from her voice. "You're getting much too smart for your own good." 

"You say that quite often these days, Mother," the girl replied, sounding unimpressed. 

"I guess I do," she agreed. "Anyway, you should get going before he throws a fit. He's in a particularly bad mood today." 

Minerva nodded and turned to go back to the lab. Talya watched her until she was out of sight, and then looked around the reactor. She wondered why her daughter liked walking through _this_ place. The inside of a reactor had to be one of the ugliest sights in the world, with its myriad platforms and walkways and ladders set in maze-like formations, all made of metal that appeared rusty and unstable. 

Maybe she just liked to wander here because it gave her some semblance of freedom. After all, it was either here or the lab. 

Shrugging to herself, Talya went back to the library and retrieved a different folder. She had been meaning to look at the newest report, despite knowing how insultingly impersonal they always seemed. It wasn't as though she had anything else to read.

_Report filed by: Professor Nibori Hojo  
Date: September 1, 2052 CC  
Subject: M-A05-C23_

Specimen has grown to be very tall and slender, much like its father. Continues to express more emotion than S-A02-C01, with eye color following the same range of blue to emerald. Magic ability has proven somewhat less powerful than Sephiroth's, however, much to my disappointment, and it is doubtful that it will increase any further. 

Over the past week, subject has fallen into extreme melancholy. I suspect this may have something to do with Sephiroth's reappearance, but this response is difficult to interpret. Specimen has been wandering through the reactor more frequently, as though restless. In sparring sessions, however, it has been unusually ferocious and has finally bested Talya. When asked about its peculiar behavior, subject only answers with cryptic references to the weather. Hopefully, subject's state of mind will not impair its ability to retrieve Sephiroth. 

Talya sat back with a frown, but refrained from dwelling on Hojo's apparent inability to recognize gender. She thought instead about Minerva's recent 'peculiar behavior.' She, too, had noticed it, but she had assumed that her daughter would sort it out for herself. Still, that did not stop her from wondering. Could Minerva somehow sense Sephiroth's presence? Was that why she had known what Hojo wanted before anyone had told her? 

Approaching footsteps drew her attention, and Hojo entered the library, followed by an icy-eyed Minerva. The girl sat down at the table near Talya, sliding Sephiroth's file over to her and opening it, all without a word. 

"Talya," Hojo said to get her attention. "It is good that you've been reading up on Sephiroth, but you need to study specimens A-A04 and VV-01 as well." 

"I know you want me to retrieve the girl, but why Vincent?" she asked in confusion. "What does he have to do with anything?" 

"He has been seen accompanying both A-A04 and Sephiroth. The group has split, so he should not present a problem when retrieving Sephiroth, but he may get in the way when you collect the girl. He is strong, but you will be able to defeat him if you know his abilities." 

"Right, I understand," she told him. Once he had left, she pulled out Aeris's file and rifled through it until she found something of substance.

_Report filed by: Professor Nibori Hojo  
Date: February 7, 2029 CC  
Subject: A-A04_

Subject is now four years old. Maternal resemblance is strong, and both subjects exhibit traits far different from S-A02-C01. Often A-A04 seems to be listening to something; when asked, subject says that it hears the voice of the Planet. Also, while subject displays above average intelligence, its mental and physical growth are still within a human range. Also, if specimen possesses innate magic, it has not shown it thus far. Its mother has at length demonstrated healing ability, but does not show any talent whatsoever for destructive magic. 

All of this coincides with Professor Gast's report on the Cetra. As evinced by its differences from I-A03 and A-A04, subject S-A02-C01 does not carry traits once held by the Ancients. Whatever the Jenova specimen was, Gast was obviously mistaken to call it an Ancient. Still, S-A02-C01's abilities have proven far more impressive than the two Ancients, so perhaps the mistake was fortuitous.

* * *

Author's Notes  
So many revisions have gone into the scene where Sephiroth revives Aeris that it's scarcely recognizable. Seriously. In the first one very little passed between the two of them. It was just bang, Sephiroth revives her, they leave, and shortly thereafter they part ways. In the original I didn't see any need to establish a connection, but considering where the story ended up going, I decided it was a necessity. And thus we have this version of it, which I like so much better. 

Hojo, Talya, and Minerva also make their first real appearances in the story. Unlike Katrina, a lot of people seem to like Minerva. Myself included. She was a lot of fun to write, and I'll miss her. Originally they didn't enter the story until chapter 8 because I didn't do anything chronologically, and the rest of this chapter was taken up by Vincent Angst (tm). 


	7. A Reason to Care

**Chapter 6: A Reason to Care**

The silence was beginning to get on her nerves. Ever since Sephiroth had left, Vincent had remained motionless against the wall, staring fixedly at the floor, which Aeris was certain did not merit such attention. She knew that he had always been a quiet person and that they hadn't known each other well, but still, shouldn't he have had _something_ to say to her? No one had said one word to her that had not been necessary. 

She supposed that she would have to take the initiative, but Vincent was a hard one to speak to. She always felt as though she was intruding on something. That thought, of course, reminded her that she had seen some of his secrets; perhaps part of her discomfort was because of that guilt. "Vincent?" she asked. 

At last his eyes moved from that spot on the floor, and he looked at her expectantly. 

"I think it's only fair that I tell you," she began hesitantly. When he said nothing, she lowered her gaze and went on, "When I was watching... I saw your nightmare." 

"I see," was all he said, his gaze leaving her. 

"I'm sorry, but... Well, I never expected to see you again. Being dead, I didn't think it mattered. But now, I can see that I shouldn't have watched. Those memories were too personal." 

He seemed to sense how much this bothered her, and his tone of voice softened slightly. "It doesn't matter, Aeris. All of that happened a long time ago." 

"But even so, you can't seem to forget about it," she pointed out. 

"Keeping those memories is my punishment," he stated, "and a far lighter one than I deserve." 

"Lucrecia loved you, Vincent, and her death wasn't your fault." 

Vincent shook his head. "She could not have loved me..." 

"So you think she was lying when she said it?" 

He did not reply. 

"I guess... you have a hard time understanding why she chose Hojo," Aeris reflected. "I think she loved you best, but her feelings for Hojo gave her pause when you asked her. She must have felt guilty for turning you down, and she sought comfort from Hojo. Mistakes were made on all sides; you can't put all the blame on yourself." 

"I should have protected her, regardless of her choice. I could see that the experiment was hurting her, and yet I did nothing. I can never forgive myself for that." 

"Lucrecia didn't blame you, and she wouldn't want you to keep living in the past. Isn't that what matters?" 

Vincent studied her carefully. "What difference does it make to you, Aeris? There is no reason for you to care what happens to me. I have done nothing for you." 

"You know that's not true," she stated. "Or else why are you here now? I know you'd say that it's only logical for you to look after me, but I could have managed on my own. With considerable difficulty, yes, but you had no obligation to stay." 

"What, then? Are you trying to return the favor?" 

She shook her head. "No. It's just that it's not right to leave you to rot in your own guilt." 

He closed his eyes, thoroughly unconvinced. "You may have seen my nightmares, but that does not mean that you know me. You can't be certain that I don't deserve this." 

Aeris sighed in defeat. "I wish there was something I could say to convince you, Vincent, I really do, but I guess even Lucrecia would have a hard time of it." 

Silence fell again between the two. Aeris leaned back against the headrest and briefly closed her eyes. Even after a night's rest, she still felt exhausted, and she found her thoughts drifting back to that fateful day in the City, where her first life had ended. 

Much of it she recalled with a sort of haziness. Her mind had been drifting then, too, only then it had delved deep into the Planet, seeking aid from Holy. That mental journey, she no longer remembered. She only recalled that feeling of certainty that had accompanied Holy's reply. When her prayers had reached it, something inside of her had slid into place. 

That was when she had come back to herself to find Cloud standing before her. She had smiled unconsciously, happy to have accomplished her purpose, happy that his mistakes could be so remedied, happy that he had come after her and that things could go on as before. 

But then a slow-moving horror had touched his face, and she had sensed Sephiroth's presence--not the Sephiroth she had once known, but the man who had let Jenova corrupt him and act out her will through him. A chill had gone down her spine, but the smile had never left her face. Time had moved slowly, but even so she had not been able to keep up with it. 

His blade had stabbed through her, and she had not even had time to cry out. 

Aeris sat up with a start, her eyes flying open and her hand going instinctively to her abdomen. Her fingertips found only traces of the wound: a tear in her threadbare dress, and a shallow cut that had recently scabbed over. She sagged back, her eyes closing again in relief. She must have been drifting off to sleep, she realized. It had only been a memory, a dream that had found her just at the gate to sleep. She was alive. 

"Are you all right?" came Vincent's voice. 

She looked at him, but despite his question, neither his eyes nor his voice held any concern. He had certainly learned how to mask his emotions since Lucrecia's death. "Yes," she said, though she found her voice was a bit shaky. "Yes, I'm fine." 

When his gaze remained on her, Aeris felt prompted to ask, "Is there something wrong?" 

He shifted slightly, and his eyes left her face. "I don't know how much you know of what has come to pass, but I felt that you should know, before you..." He trailed off, and then met her gaze again. "Cloud--" 

"Married Tifa, I know," Aeris finished quickly, looking down at her hands. She shook her head. "I tried not to think about it before, but you can't ignore the truth, can you? I guess you would know best. We're alike in that respect; the ones we love married someone else, hoping to protect them." 

Her companion remained silent, and she went on, "Honestly, I don't know what to do either. I had always hoped to see him again, but now, wouldn't that just mess everything up?" 

"You should visit him," Vincent told her. "He deserves to know that you are alive again, and I am sure that some resolution is necessary." 

"I guess I'm just afraid of how they'll react. Cloud has been doing his best to forget me, for Tifa's sake. For me to come waltzing back into the picture..." 

"You cannot avoid them forever." 

"You're right," she sighed. "When I have enough energy... I'll go then."

* * *

The warm afternoon sun shone down on them from a cloudless sky, a sharp contrast to the weather in the far north, from whence they had come. The whole canyon was a study in warmth, with its beautiful red-brown rock that soaked up the sunlight and seemed to radiate heat on its own. 

The village in the middle of the canyon was easily spotted, the metal-paneled observatory gleaming in the sun. Sephiroth reigned in their gold chocobo at the base of the stairs leading up to the entrance. The two of them dismounted, and Katrina started towards the gate. When she noticed that he was not following, however, she stopped and looked back. 

"You're not coming?" 

"Do you really think they'd let me in?" he asked. 

"Won't you even give it a try?" Katrina asked. "Sometimes people can be more forgiving than you think." 

She waited for his nod, and then they both went up the stairs together. 

The gatekeeper gave a start upon seeing Sephiroth, but surprisingly, he stood his ground. He did not move aside to let them pass. "I'm sorry," he said, "but I cannot allow you to enter." 

"Why not?" Katrina demanded. 

"Oh, you can pass," the man told her obligingly, then turned a harsh gaze on Sephiroth. "But he can't." 

"I assure you that I have no intention of causing any harm, and I will not trouble you long with my presence." 

His words did not convince the gatekeeper, but he spared Katrina another look and apparently decided that she would not have chosen to travel with Sephiroth unless he had some merit. "Wait here," he told the two of them firmly. Calling a nearby villager over to watch them, the gatekeeper ran off up a set of stairs carved into the canyon. 

They waited for several long minutes, Katrina stretching her legs, Sephiroth leaning motionless against the nearby wall, and the villager watching the both of them anxiously. 

At last the gatekeeper returned, preceded by a large feline with fiery orange fur and a flame-tipped tail. This creature seemed familiar, and Sephiroth recalled Vincent mentioning such a being, one named Nanaki, but he knew that he would not have remembered the name on his own. 

"It really _is_ Sephiroth!" the creature breathed as he came to a stop at the gate. The villager keeping watch slowly backed away, lingering some paces behind. 

"Yes, Nanaki," the gatekeeper replied. If he was at all afraid, he did not show it. "You did not believe me?" 

Nanaki shook his head, staring at Sephiroth with his one good eye. "No, I did not, and I hesitate to trust my sight. We killed him five years ago; I'm sure of it!" 

Sephiroth straightened and took a few steps closer to the feline, who tensed, claws extending in readiness. The gatekeeper took a step back. 

"You did kill me," Sephiroth confirmed, "but it seems the Planet did not want me just yet." 

"What do you want with our village?" Nanaki demanded warily. 

"Only to enter it. I do not remember much of my past life, but Vincent has told me of my mistakes, and I have no wish to repeat them." 

"I apologize if you are telling the truth," the feline said carefully. He sat back on his haunches, but never took his eye off the swordsman. "The Sephiroth that I knew was a master of deception, and I find it hard to believe anything you say." 

"I understand," Sephiroth sighed. "In that case, I will leave." He bowed his head and turned to go. 

"Hey, wait a second!" Katrina caught him by the arm, startling him. "You're going to give up that easily? I'm sure they'll let you in eventually." 

He looked past her over his shoulder, finding Nanaki's gaze. "I have reopened too many old wounds by just existing. It would be best for me to leave them be. Besides, what need have I of staying here?" 

"It's a beautiful town," she pointed out. "You might enjoy it." 

The swordsman raised an eyebrow. 

"Look, even you can't just go through life with duty alone. It wouldn't surprise me if that's how you snapped the first time." When Sephiroth only stared at her, she turned back for the gate with a tug on his arm. "All right then, come on." 

She let go of him when she reached Nanaki and planted her fists on her hips. "Listen, if he was going to be violent about it, wouldn't he have just killed the both of you and gone ahead to have his way with the town?" 

Nanaki tilted his head to peer at her curiously, still watching Sephiroth out of the corner of his eye. "You have a point, but I must ask you: why are you defending him?" 

"Well, obviously no one else is," she stated flatly. "Why won't you let him in? He's not going to hurt anyone." 

"I am sorry for not trusting your word, but he once killed a very dear friend of mine. I cannot forgive him for that." 

"No one's asking you to forgive him; just give him a chance. And anyway, Aeris is alive again; Sephiroth brought her back." 

This caught the feline off-guard, and his eye widened. "He... what?" 

"Revived her. To atone for killing her." 

Nanaki studied the swordsman for a long time, and even Sephiroth began to feel uncomfortable under such scrutiny. "Is this true?" he asked at length. 

Sephiroth nodded. "I felt I had an obligation to try. Vincent stayed behind to look after her. If you want proof, call him." 

The feline slowly shook his head. "No, I think that I will accept your word on this." He turned to go, nodding to the gatekeeper in passing. "Ira, you may let him pass." 

The gatekeeper stepped aside reluctantly to allow them passage. 

Katrina smiled at Sephiroth. "See? I told you so." She turned and went on through the gate. 

His gaze still following Nanaki, Sephiroth found himself hesitant to enter. He felt he should have said something, but Nanaki had already turned his back and was going back up to wherever he had come from. 

"Oi, Seph!" Katrina called back, attracting his attention. "They're letting you in, so don't just stand there." 

He walked over to join her, frowning. "'Seph'?" 

"It's a nickname," she said. "You've never had one?" 

He shook his head. 

"It's just that 'Sephiroth' is too much of a mouthful sometimes," she explained. She took a deep breath and let it out, looking around the village, making note of its shops. "Well, now that we're here, why don't we get you some new clothes?" 

"New clothes?" he queried, looking down at himself. He started to ask her what was wrong with the ones he had, but he stopped himself and shook his head. "I wouldn't blend in no matter what I was wearing." 

Katrina frowned thoughtfully. "I guess you're right. That hair of yours gives you away in an instant. I mean, I guess you could dye it, but--" 

"No." 

"That's what I thought," she said with a slight grin. "A little vain about our hair, are we?" 

"I simply see no point in hiding who I am." 

"I don't know how you manage it, having to take responsibility for things you don't even remember doing," she said more seriously. "If I was in your place, I wouldn't be able to bear it." 

He hesitated, feeling as though he ought to say something to her. He looked away. "It helps that... I mean, I don't know why you've stuck with me, but... I thank you for it." 

Katrina looked at him in astonishment. "What's this, you're actually being polite?" 

Sephiroth turned away. "Never mind." 

She hurried around to stand in front of him before he could go anywhere. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to tease. It's just... What brought this on?" 

He shook his head. "If you don't know, then I won't explain. I am going to speak with the Elders. As long as I am here, I may as well try to learn something." 

"All right..." she said uncertainly, half-poised to follow him. 

"Do what you like," he told her, stepping around her to head for the stairs. She did not come after him, and while for the most part he felt relieved, part of him was disappointed. He followed the steps into the canyon's inner passages, tunnels and rooms cut into the rock. Numerous torches managed to give the place a surprising amount of light. His instinct took him to a more dimly-lit room where an aging man sat atop a wooden crate, book in hand and glasses perched on his nose. 

"Elder Hargo?" Sephiroth asked. 

The man looked up in surprise. "Yes... How did you know?" 

"I feel as though we have met before." 

Hargo sat up straighter, studying him over the rims of his glasses. "No, I'm sure I would have remembered it." He got to his feet. "You must be Sephiroth... What's the matter? You're staring at me as though I just grew horns." 

"It's just that you are one of the few people I've come across who hasn't been afraid of me." 

The Elder smiled warmly. "You haven't come here with murder on your mind, that much I can see. Now, did you want to ask me something?" 

"What can you tell me about Jenova?" 

"Jenova," Hargo pondered, testing out the name. "Oh, you mean the Crisis from the Sky? Yes, I know a little about it. What exactly did you want to know?" 

"I have heard that it deceived the Cetra and killed many of them, but I have not heard why or how. I was hoping you could tell me." 

"I dare say no one could tell you the why of it," Hargo said, "but why don't you have a seat, and I'll tell you what I can." 

Sephiroth chose to remain standing, but the Elder did not remark on it. 

"Now, the creature you call Jenova came down from the sky, and its arrival created the Northern Crater. At first, I don't think the Cetra knew about Jenova, just the wound it had inflicted on the Planet. They had been trying to help the Planet in what ways they could when Jenova came. 

"The way the story goes, it disguised itself as the Cetra's kin. It first befriended them, and then gave them what is referred to as 'the virus.' This thing drove many of the Cetra mad and transformed them into monsters. 

"Eventually, a small group of Cetra banded together and managed to defeat Jenova, but not kill it. They buried it deep in the ice, hoping that no one would find it." 

Sephiroth nodded pensively. "So it seems that Jenova had no reason. It was a creature bent solely on the destruction of the Planet and its inhabitants." 

"So it seems," Hargo agreed. 

The swordsman frowned, folding his arms. "Elder Hargo, what would happen if Jenova's cells were injected into a human child?" 

"You're asking the wrong person," he replied, raising his eyebrows. "I'm a historian, not a scientist." 

"I am only asking for speculation. Do you think that the child would inherit Jenova's apparent tendency towards deception and betrayal?" 

Hargo shook his head. "Somehow I don't think that those traits are genetic. Anyway, humans are born with souls and kind hearts, quite unlike the Jenova creature." He paused to study Sephiroth curiously. "Why do you ask?" 

Sephiroth shifted his gaze to the far wall. "I don't suppose you've ever heard of the Jenova Project." He waited for a negative from Hargo, and then went on, "It used Jenova cells in precisely that manor, and that is how I was created." 

"So... you wanted to know if your actions resulted from your genetics. You wanted to know if you behaved as you did because of what you were." 

The swordsman nodded silently. 

"Well, son, despite all I've heard about you, you don't seem particularly evil or cruel to me." 

"But what if I am just a puppet that Jenova is using? Perhaps she only allows this persona as her method of deception. Perhaps she will only allow this so long as it is useful to her, and then the part of me that is Jenova will take control and give the people of this world 'the virus.' Perhaps this is the same way it began before." 

Hargo shook his head. "I don't see that as a likely possibility. You're still basically human, else you wouldn't be having these doubts. The Jenova in you can't have that much control over you." 

"Then why did I fight for her five years ago?" 

"That, I don't have an answer for. Don't you remember it?" 

Sephiroth looked down at the floor beneath his feet. "No. There is much that I do not remember." 

"Well," Hargo said, his tone reassuring, "as long as you let yourself be human, you should be fine." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"Don't lock away your emotions; they're a natural part of you, and certainly very human. Stifling something so essential can make a person snap." 

Sephiroth's eyes strayed to the flickering flame of a wall torch, not knowing why he found it so fascinating. "What if you never had them to begin with...?" he wondered. 

"Nonsense, boy," Hargo snorted. "Everyone has emotions. Even you." 

The swordsman tore his gaze away from the flame and nodded to him. "Thank you for your time, Elder Hargo." Without waiting for a reply, he turned to leave the room. 

If the Jenova had not caused him to make so many grievous errors, Sephiroth reflected, then there really was no one to blame but himself. He wondered how long it would be before he snapped again.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Here we have one of the few Aeris/Vincent scenes that survived the rewrite. I started LFA with the intention of doing an AeriVin like "I Know What's Beneath the Snowfields," because I really admired that, but it just didn't work out that way. I don't have too much to say about this chapter, but I would like to point out that Katrina actually does something here in helping Seph get into the village. This is not a change from the original. Why didn't anyone notice it before? --;; 


	8. Welcomed At Last

**Chapter 7: Welcomed At Last**

The bonfire below caught his eye as he emerged from the canyon's tunnels, and he slowed to a stop on the landing. What was it about fire that kept tugging at his memory? He sat down at the landing's edge and stared down at the bonfire. It sat on a raised platform at the center of the village, and a number of people sat around it, talking, laughing, sharing stories. A few small children played just below the platform, still within reach of the flame's light and their parents' gazes. 

Sephiroth felt a faint, nagging desire to go down and join the group, but he knew that he would not be welcome. He had never really been welcome anywhere. Even before his madness, people had either feared him, or admired him to such an extent that it was not unlike fear. He remembered that much; he had never been normal. He had never been just another villager, content to sit around and converse with neighbors. From what little he remembered, he knew that he had grown up in seclusion, removed from such people as those who now gathered around the bonfire. 

"Hello," chirped a child's voice from behind him. 

He glanced up to see a small girl standing there, her hair pulled into two braids that stuck out from either side of her head in an almost comical fashion. Her large eyes were a deep brown, and they seemed to amplify the smile on her face. She looked too young to remember Meteor. Likely she had no idea who she was talking to. 

"Whatcha doin' all the way up here?" she asked. 

"I don't belong," he answered simply, knowing she would not understand. 

She leaned forward to inspect him, and then seemed to come to some sort of conclusion. "Just 'cause you're an outsider doesn't mean you dun belong," she stated. She drew herself up proudly to add, "We welcome newcom'rs to Cosmo Canyon. C'mon. I'll show y'around." 

For a moment he could only look at her, and so she took hold of his arm and tugged on it in a vain attempt to move him. He found that he had to smile at her antics, and he stood of his own accord. 

The girl stared up at him. "Jeez, you're tall," she said. 

He shrugged, looking back down at her. "What is your name?" he wondered. 

"Oh, I'm Kari," she replied, thumping a hand to her chest. "Who're you?" 

"Sephiroth." 

She tapped her finger against her lip, thinking, then nodded to herself and took him by the hand. "Oh, I've heard about a Sephiroth afore," she said as she led him down the stairs. "He was all mean an' he had a big sword. You must be a _different_ Sephiroth though, 'cause you're nice an' you dun hava sword." 

He almost laughed at her reasoning. "What makes you think I'm nice?" 

She looked up at him with a knowing look that he found somehow familiar. "I c'n tell. The way you smiled just now--see? That shows you're nice." 

Strangely, Sephiroth found Kari's simple logic comforting. If this child, so innocent and lacking any pre-conceived notions, was not bothered by his presence (and in fact seemed to enjoy it), then perhaps he was not inherently evil. Surely if he was, she would be able to tell. 

Having led him to the bonfire, Kari turned at its steps to face him. "This here we call the Cosmo Candle," she informed him sagely. "S'long as it burns, we're all safe an' sound. Grandpa tol' me it went out once a long time ago, an' somat very bad happened." 

At her voice, one of the women noticed them and immediately leapt up, running down to jerk Kari away from the swordsman. "Kari, what are you doing?" she demanded, eyes fixed warily on Sephiroth. "Don't you know who that is?" 

"Yeah," the girl replied, somewhat confused but still cheerful. "That's Sephiroth. But dun worry, Mommy, he's not _the_ Sephiroth." 

"Yes, he is," her mother said anxiously, backing away from him. "What were you thinking, walking around with him? He could have killed you!" 

"No," Kari disagreed, "he's nice. I c'n tell." She twisted out of her mother's grasp. "An' I said I'd show him around." 

"You'll do no such thing," her mother said, horrified and reaching to take her daughter's arm before she could go far. 

"I have no intention of harming your daughter," Sephiroth interjected coolly. "But, if I make you uneasy, I am quite capable of finding my own way around." 

The girl's mother shook her head. "I--" 

"What's going on?" asked a kindly-looking woman with greying hair and wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. She had come up to the bonfire and now stood not far from Sephiroth at the base of the steps. He took a step backward to allow her more space to pass. 

"Elder Margo, look!" said Kari's mother, pointing. 

The Elder turned her gaze on Sephiroth, looking him over calmly. "So it's true then, that Sephiroth has come to the village." She shook her head and turned back to the younger woman. "I wouldn't worry about it, Anne. Nanaki let him in." 

"Nanaki did what?" 

"You heard me quite well the first time, and you know Nanaki wouldn't let Sephiroth in without good reason." 

"Couldn't he have fought his way in?" Anne asked, unconvinced. 

"Our Nanaki is a strong fighter," Margo said proudly. "He would not have gotten through." 

"You're right," Kari's mother conceded finally. "Especially now that he has Miera to help him." She turned to Sephiroth, eyeing him dubiously. "I don't like it, but... I do trust Nanaki's judgment." 

"So c'n I show him around?" Kari asked eagerly. "Can I, please?" 

Anne sighed. "All right, dear. Just... be careful." 

"I will!" The girl hopped back down the steps to Sephiroth, once more taking up his gloved hand and leading him past the shops that lined the village center. She seemed to have something to say about each tiny building and its owners. This shop was where her mother took her to buy clothes, that one was owned by a survivor of the Sector 7 disaster--whatever that was. This shopkeeper gave her candy sometimes, that one couldn't take his eyes off her mother. 

"It sounds like this town grows bigger with each passing moment," Sephiroth commented when she at last paused to catch her breath. 

"Seems like it," Kari agreed. "At first, we got a lotta people from Midgar, an' the whole place was really crowded for a while. Not so many come now, but it's still pretty steady." 

The swordsman peered down at her. "You cannot be old enough to remember these things. Did your mother tell you?" 

"Yep!" Kari answered. They had made a full circle around the village square, and now she started up the stairs and into the canyon. "Now, this's the library," she said, indicating the room where he had spoken to Hargo earlier. "Elder Hargo wrote a lotta the stuff, but some of it's Bugenhagen's." 

"Who is Bugenhagen?" Sephiroth asked. 

"I didn't know him," Kari admitted, "but he was one of the Elders, only he knew a _lot_ more than the others. They say he was like everyone's grandpa, even Nanaki's." 

"What happened to him?" 

"He died just afore Meteor came." 

"I see." 

She led him onward, stopping before a sealed metal door. "This's the Gi Cave," she informed him. "Bugenhagen sealed it, but now pretty much everybody knows how ta open it." 

"What's in there?" he wondered. 

"Well, Mommy says there're monsters in there," Kari said skeptically, "but I think she's just tryin' to scare me away. Wanna check it out?" 

"I am sure she had a valid reason for telling you to stay out." 

"She thought _you_ were dangerous, an' she was wrong about that, wasn't she?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I don't think that is a very fitting comparison." 

Kari rolled her eyes. "I bet you're just scared. _I_'m goin' in." She let go of his hand and walked over to press a hidden switch. The door slid open, and she went through without hesitation. 

Scared? he wondered. No, he was certainly not afraid; he inspired fear. For a moment he had to wonder if she wasn't really safer in this Gi Cave than with him. But, he told himself, he was still lucid for now, and so not very dangerous to anyone. If he was going to snap again, it hadn't happened yet. 

He followed her through the door, catching up with her at the bottom of the cave and placing a restraining hand on her shoulder. "I can smell blood," he told her quietly. "It is not safe here." 

Kari turned to face him, expression defiant. She wanted to see this place with her own eyes; she needed to determine for herself whether it was dangerous or not, just as she had done with Sephiroth. Only, he doubted she could have explained this. "I'm not scared," she said. 

"You should be. You have no way of defending yourself." 

At this she smiled. "I have you. Since you're Sephiroth, I'm sure you c'n protect me from the monsters, if there even _are_ any." 

She wriggled out of his grasp and moved on down the dark passageway. 

Sephiroth had no choice but to follow, scanning the shadows for the creatures he knew were waiting there, but nevertheless they evaded his sight. 

Kari let out a clipped scream, and Sephiroth turned to find her cornered by a skeletal four-legged beast. Suddenly the Masamune was in his hand, and he darted forward to slash clean through the creature. It felt real enough as his blade met it, but when he turned to look back, he found its still form slowly vanishing. A spectre, he decided, but nevertheless real enough that its fangs drew blood. 

His gaze went to Kari, who stood trembling, staring up at him with wide, fearful eyes. 

He lowered the Masamune and moved closer to her, crouching down in an attempt to appear less frightening. "Are you all right?" 

At his voice, she seemed to regain some of her senses, and she nodded shakily. "C-can we go back now?" she asked, not at all ashamed of her fear. 

He nodded and stood. She immediately latched onto his hand, and he led her back the way they had come, willing the Masamune away--albeit with some effort--once they reached the rope leading upwards. Kari, however, refused to let go of his hand. "You'll need both your hands to climb," he told her in confusion. 

She only clung to him more tightly. "I might fall." 

"You were fine on the way down," he pointed out, to no avail. Fear, it seemed was quite an irrational thing. But so, too, was the lack of it; why was she not afraid of him? He crouched down beside her. "Then I'll carry you up. Is that all right?" 

She nodded and quickly climbed onto his back. Straightening, Sephiroth climbed the rope upwards, bringing the both of them out of the Gi Cave. Upon reaching the top, he let Kari down and looked up to find a small group of anxious villagers gathered near the entrance. 

"Mommy!" Kari cried, running at once into Anne's waiting arms. 

"Kari!" Anne exhaled in relief, hugging her daughter close. "Are you all right? When Hargo told me that the Cave door was open, I was so worried! I knew it had to be you down there. And when I got here, there was a scream! What happened?" 

Kari disentangled herself from her mothers arms. "I'm okay. I wanted to see what was in the Cave, so I went off by myself. Then a big monster came an' tried to eat me! But Sephiroth saved me, so it's okay now, Mommy. An' I won't go back again, I promise." 

Anne hugged her again, but her startled gaze wandered to Sephiroth, who stood watching uncertainly from the shadow of the cave's entryway. "You... saved Kari?" she asked. When Sephiroth nodded silently, she bowed her head. "I thank you, and I apologize for my words earlier." 

"It's all right," he replied, looking away uncomfortably. "By now I am used to harsh greetings." 

"Is something wrong?" The voice belonged to a creature much like Nanaki, only its fur was more gold than orange, and it seemed to have fewer distinctive tattoos and mane ornaments. It also retained both eyes, which were a pale yellow-green. 

"Not really, Miera," one of the villagers answered. "Sephiroth here just saved Kari from a monster in the Gi Cave." 

"Sephiroth did...?" she wondered, turning her gaze on him in scrutiny. After a moment she grinned a cat's grin. "Well, why are you standing in the shadows? You are quite welcome with us now." 

Slowly the swordsman stepped out of the cave and pressed the button to seal it. He could feel everyone's eyes on him as he moved, and he turned to look at them questioningly. 

By now Nanaki had come to join Miera, and she was explaining the situation in tones too low for even Sephiroth to hear. Nanaki nodded when she finished and looked up at the swordsman for a long moment. "You have changed," he said, and there was a pause. "Come," he invited, turning to walk out. Miera padded along behind him, and after a moment's hesitation, Sephiroth trailed after them. 

They led him thence to the Candle, where a handful still sat, Elder Margo among them. They looked at him uneasily, but no one spoke out; they all assumed that if Nanaki and Miera had brought him, it was all right. The two felines settled down beside each other near Margo, and Sephiroth sat awkwardly to one side of the steps. He did not feel that he belonged here. 

A brief silence accompanied his arrival, but then the villagers who had been there previously took their gazes from him and resumed their conversations as before. A trio of children, Kari included, started up a game, chasing each other around the Candle. 

"I'm the great warrior Seto!" one exclaimed. 

"I'm the _greater_ warrior Nanaki!" another cried. 

"I'm the great huntress Miera!" Kari declared. 

There was a pause, and one of her friends asked, "What's a huntress?" 

Sephiroth could not help but smile, though a part of him felt cheated; as a child, he knew that he had had none of these moments. He turned his gaze on the bonfire, and the flames sobered him. He thought he remembered now, that fire... That was it, Vincent had mentioned how he had burned Nibelheim. Memories from that day danced just beyond his sight, along with the smell of burning flesh and the echoes of screams. 

He shook his head, but did not look away from the Candle. This was not that kind of fire; this flame was intended to protect the people of this canyon. As darkness fell, it provided them with a strong source of heat and light. It was a gathering place, a sort of altar to a nameless god. 

"So, Sephiroth," Elder Margo asked him, seeming to notice his discomfort, "where did you meet that girl you came in with?" 

"Some miles outside of Bone Village," he replied. When this answer did not satisfy anyone, he went on, "She was being attacked by wolves, so I stepped in." 

"It seems you have a knack for rescuing people," Miera remarked, that cat-like smile ever-present on her face. "Any other instances that you'd care to mention?" 

He only shook his head. 

"What of Aeris?" Nanaki prompted. "What do you consider that?" 

"I was the one who killed her in the first place," Sephiroth stated. "Bringing her back was no rescue." 

Any harshness left Nanaki's voice, and he became merely curious. "Where is she now? Will she be visiting?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "We parted in Bone Village soon after I revived her. I do not know her plans, but considering how weak she was then, I doubt she has left yet." 

"I suppose she will visit Cloud first anyway," Nanaki reflected. "For now it is enough to know that she is alive again." 

"She was a close friend of yours, you said," Sephiroth said slowly. "What was she like?" 

The feline eyed him strangely, as though wondering why he would care to know. "Aeris was... _is_ in some ways a hard person to describe... On the surface she often seemed very cheerful, and yet, at the same time, there was something beyond it. She must have had a hard life, being the last of the Cetra, but she tried her best not to let it show. And then, if she thought she could help someone somehow, she would do it without a moment's hesitation. I think, maybe, that that was why she joined us." 

He nodded pensively. It all seemed of a piece, but... "Did I know her?" he asked. 

"You met her a few times when we confronted you." 

Sephiroth shook his head. "No, I mean... before all that madness." 

"I don't think so," Nanaki said, sounding certain. "She never said anything to that effect, and you never acted as though you knew each other." 

"You don't remember?" Miera asked in confusion. 

"No," Sephiroth replied. "There is much that I cannot remember." 

"That must make this worse," she considered. "So many people hate and fear you, and yet you don't recall why." 

"I may be unable to consciously recall anything, but I can still feel it. I know that they are right to fear me." 

"There must be some good memories in there somewhere," Elder Margo said gently. "With what good you've done the short time since your rebirth, it would surprise me if you found nothing similar in your previous life. So why don't you just sit here a while and let the bonfire help you remember?" 

Someone had said something like that to him, he thought, years ago. _Bonfires are funny, aren't they? They make you remember all sorts of things._ Only, that hadn't been said to him, had it? He wished he knew why he had someone else's memories jumbled together with his own. Did this have something to do with Jenova? 

The others continued their conversation without him, and he stared into the fire, letting his thoughts drift. Good memories? he wondered. There had been that red-haired woman in his dream the night before. She had been a Turk, assigned to Hojo, he knew that much, but he had forgotten her name. He thought that she had been kind to him, more so than anyone else had at least. 

He closed his eyes and tried to call up more memories of her. What had her name been, and why had she cared at all about him?" 

_"Tell me about my father," he said to the red-haired Turk who sat beside him. More and more often she came to his room without any real purpose, and so he had decided to make the most of these strange visits. _

"I don't know who he was." 

"You're lying," he insisted. "I am sure that you know a good deal more than you pretend to. I want to know about my father." 

She hesitated, and he could tell that she wanted to tell him. "Well... There is a Vincent Valentine, and I know he loved your mother, but I don't know if he was your father." 

"What was he like?" 

"He was a Turk, like me." She paused and shook her head. "No, not really like me. He took it far more seriously, and I'm sure he didn't like me very much." 

"Why not?" 

She looked at him as though he had asked a silly question. "Most serious people don't seem to like me. I joke around too much. Or, at least, I did then." 

"That's a stupid reason to dislike someone." 

She smiled. "Thanks, Seph. I appreciate that." 

He shifted uncomfortably. "What else can you tell me?" 

"To tell you the truth, I didn't know him much better than I did your mother. He was very cold--probably what made him such a good Turk--so he was hard to get to know. He didn't like talking about himself either. But, whenever he was around Lucrecia, something about him changed. He'd open up for her." 

"And what happened to him? You said he 'left,' but is that really what you meant?" 

She frowned, not certain how to answer this. "He's not dead exactly, but... Hojo didn't want him in the way." 

"So... is he sort of like me then?" 

She shook her head. "No... Well, maybe a little. You know there aren't many people who are at all like you, Seph." 

The boy's gaze dropped. "I know." 

"That's not what I meant," she said quickly, but failed to explain what she had_ meant. _

For a while there was silence between them. "Talya?" he asked at length. 

"Yeah?" 

"She's dead, isn't she?" 

"Who?" 

"My mother." 

Talya looked away, sighing. "I won't lie to you anymore. She did die." 

"How, though?" 

"That, I don't know." 

Sephiroth opened his eyes to look thoughtfully at the bonfire. So, her name was Talya. And she had thought that Vincent was his father? At first the idea struck him as absurd, but he soon realized that it seemed more plausible than the truth: that Hojo was his father. It was certainly preferable, given what he remembered of Hojo. But, surely Vincent would have known had he been the father, so he chose not to even consider it as a possibility. 

He gave a slight start as Katrina sat down beside him; lost in thought, he hadn't noticed her approaching. "Hey, Seph," she greeted. "I heard you rescued yet another girl today." 

"Word travels quickly around here," he remarked. 

Elder Margo turned to Katrina curiously. "You're the girl who's been travelling with him, aren't you?" 

"Yes, that's me," she replied. "My name's Katrina." 

"What do you think of him so far? Has he been behaving?" 

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the question and looked to Katrina. 

"He's not real talkative," she admitted with a grin, "but he's certainly not the man I've heard about. He can be blunt, but he's far from cruel." 

Margo nodded, apparently satisfied with this answer. 

Katrina rocked forward so that she was sitting on her heels. "Well, anyway," she said to Sephiroth, "it's getting late, and I just came by to tell you that I got us a room at an inn." 

The swordsman blinked. "I never said I would stay the night." 

"You mean you planned on leaving tonight?" she asked incredulously. 

He nodded. 

"Well... I guess you don't need as much sleep as the rest of us, but that doesn't mean you have to travel at night. So you're staying here, and I'll see you tomorrow whenever I happen to wake up. Don't you _dare_ leave without saying goodbye." 

"Or you'll do what?" he queried, suppressing a smirk. 

She hesitated, obviously not having thought this part through. "You won't have to find out if you just wait for me." 

"Fine," he said, shaking his head. "Goodnight." 

"G'night." Her mission accomplished, she got up and headed for the inn. 

Sephiroth watched her go, then returned his attention to the bonfire. He found that his thoughts kept wandering back to Aeris, and what she had first said to him. _You told me that I'd see you again._ That was hardly the reaction he had expected from someone he had murdered. She had seemed almost _glad_ to see him, and when he had not understood her meaning, she had seemed disappointed. Given that, it was hard for him to believe what Nanaki had told him. He felt almost certain that he _had_ known her before. 

He probed his memory, trying to drag out forgotten moments from wherever they were hiding. He wanted to remember her. In addition to killing her, he felt ashamed that he had forgotten her. Perhaps, a long time ago, she had meant something to him. 

But however he tried, all he seemed able to bring up was that image of her kneeling on the altar, just before he had killed her, and he had no wish to dwell on that. 

Sighing, he let his gaze wander, hoping dimly that something he saw might trigger a memory. When his eyes found Nanaki, he remembered what the feline had told him about Aeris. _She must have had a hard life_, he had said. What kind of life was that? he wondered. Surely it hadn't been anything like his. 

Or had it? As the last of the Cetra, she would have been very valuable to people like Hojo. Had they known about her? Had they searched her out and captured her? Had she endured countless tests, as he had? It seemed in his memories that Talya had known full well that he was not a Cetra. To find that out, Hojo must have come across a real Cetra, and realized how different he was from them. 

_"I saw a girl in the hallway today." _

"A girl?" Talya asked uncertainly. 

"Yes. She was young, maybe four, with very green eyes." 

"Oh, that's A-A04," the Turk said in recognition. "She's been here for about a month now." 

It bothered him that she had referred to the girl by her number. He knew that, in his case, such an identification was fitting; he was something less than human. But surely that girl was different. "A-A04?" he queried in distaste. "Does she have a name?" 

"Aeris." 

"So there are others here like me then?" 

"Not like you. They're different." 

"I know that. I mean, there are others here who look and think like humans." 

"Yes, but I wouldn't compare them to you. You're only an experiment." 

So he _had_ known her, at least briefly. It made sense; Hojo would have wanted his 'specimens' in the same facility. Thus, Sephiroth and Aeris had been in the same place, and they must have become friends of some sort. In such a place, it was difficult to form friends, but it would explain some of Aeris's apparent gladness upon seeing him. But only some; one would think that his brutal deeds would be fresher in her mind. 

At length Sephiroth stood and left the Candle, not bothering to offer goodnights. He entered the inn, where the innkeeper quickly and with some nervousness told him which room was his. Nodding his thanks and ignoring the looks those at the bar were giving him, he made his way back to the room Katrina had rented. 

She was already asleep in one of the two beds, he noted, and so he made sure to be quiet as he readied himself for sleep, removing his boots, his armor, and his coat. He lay down on the other bed and closed his eyes, half-hoping for dreams.

* * *

_"What on earth are you trying to accomplish at that piano?" Talya asked from the doorway. _

Sephiroth, seated at the bench, did not bother to look up at her. "What does it look like? I want to learn how to play." 

"I don't think you'll have much luck teaching yourself," she said skeptically. 

He shrugged, cautiously pressing a few keys at random. Then, placing both hands on the ivories, he slowly began playing a tune, sounding it out one note at a time. After a moment, he stopped, frowning. "I can't remember it well enough..." 

"Remember what?" 

"I'm not certain... It's something I think I heard once, a long time ago." He tried again, this time somewhat more sure of his movements. The slow melody that ensued was at once eerie and sad. Again, he faltered on a note, and the song ended dead in the air. 

Talya was eyeing him uncertainly. "You seem pretty good for never having touched a piano before," she remarked. 

"I can't explain it either," Sephiroth replied, studying his hands. "I doubt this is a skill the Professor will appreciate anyway." 

The Turk did not reply. 

He got up and wandered to the window, peering out the window at the falling snow. "I wonder... Will I ever set foot beyond these grounds, do you think?" 

"It would be too cruel to keep you here all your life," was her answer. 

The boy glanced at her thoughtfully before returning his gaze to the world beyond the pane. "I seem to remember that another scientist used to work here with Hojo. Whatever happened to him?" 

"Professor Gast, you mean?" Talya asked, sounding surprised that he remembered. "He left the Project, and then..." Here she faltered, and finally she finished, "Hojo had him killed four years ago." 

He turned back to look at her, finding that for some reason he felt saddened by this news. "Why?" 

"He had... a specimen that Hojo wanted." 

"Does it have anything to do with Aeris?" Sephiroth asked, remembering that she was about four years old. 

Talya blinked. "Yes, actually; Gast was her father." 

"He was killed for resisting, wasn't he? For trying to protect her..." 

"Someday that brain of yours is going to get you into trouble." 

He only frowned. "But what's so important about Aeris?" 

For this, Talya had no answer at all. 

She's an Ancient, he thought, answering his own question as the dream faded away and he drifted closer to waking. _A Cetra. The Professor must have been surprised by your differences from one another. Surprised to find that you were opposites; she was the one who protected the Planet, and your only purpose was to destroy it. Just like Jenova, you became a part of their society, earned their trust, and, when they least expected it, you struck. _

How many people you must have tricked into believing you were something you are not. With lies and deceit, you gained your power. 

In the end, you were not much different from Hojo. I guess it's true, what they say: like father, like son. 

At this thought, he flinched. _No, I'm not like Hojo_, he insisted. _I want to atone for my mistakes; I never meant to do those things. _

How much longer are you going to believe that? asked a voice that must have been his own, another part of him. 

_...what do you mean? _

There isn't much of your human mother in you. Without a doubt, you get your traits from Jenova and Hojo. That desire for deception and destruction is an inherent part of you. That's all you have any real talent for, and what brings you the most joy. You'll realize that soon enough. 

I'm not like Hojo. 

You'll be far worse once you come to terms with who you are. 

The voice left him in turmoil. _No, I'm not like that... I don't want to lie to anyone. There's more to me than that meaningless destruction... isn't there? _

Didn't she tell me that I was nice?

* * *

I'm not like Hojo, Sephiroth thought the moment he woke, sitting up immediately. He looked about and shook his head to clear it. It had only been a dream, nothing more. 

His gaze found Katrina, and he noticed that she was still asleep. She always seemed so peaceful in sleep that he had no desire to wake her. He did, however, want to move on. He had a long ways to go yet if he wanted to atone. He could not linger here. 

_But what will you do once there's nothing left to fix?_

Frowning, he ignored the thought and dressed quickly. He left the inn silently, with only a mild regret at leaving Katrina without a goodbye, and stepped out into the pale sunlight of early morning. There was a handful of people at the Candle, but he strode past them without a word. He did not want to hear farewells from those who had no reason to care about his departure. 

With a nod to the gatekeeper, Sephiroth started down the steps that led down to the canyon floor. He found the gold chocobo waiting there, nipping disinterestedly at a scraggly shrub that struggled to grow from the dry earth. It was probably hungry, he reflected, and he made a mental note to buy some greens for it as soon as he could. He took the bird's reigns, and-- 

"Sephiroth." 

The familiar voice made him freeze where he stood. 

"Long time no see."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Kari! I don't know why I enjoy writing little girls into my stories considering they really freak me out in real life (seriously), but I do. I didn't make many changes plot-wise to this part of the story. There've been vast improvements in the _way_ in which it was written, but not so much in _what_ was written. 


	9. Delayed Departures

**Chapter 8: Delayed Departures**

Slowly Sephiroth turned around to face the owner of the voice. She stood in the shadows just off to one side of the steps, lips curled upwards in a faint smirk; it amused her that she had managed to catch him off-guard. 

"Talya," he murmured in recognition. 

Though she was surprised that he remembered her, she did not show it. She stepped out into the sunlight and made a mock bow. "Glad to be of service, my liege." Upon straightening, she took a moment to look him over. "You've barely changed at all," she remarked. 

Sephiroth let go the chocobo's reigns, studying her with a frown. "Neither have you." 

She could tell that he was catching on quickly, but for the moment, she did not care. It surprised her, how glad she felt to see him again. She walked in a small circle around him while he eyed her warily. "I'll admit, I think your hair's a little longer, and the clothes are a definite change..." She came to a stop just in front of him. "But you're still the same." 

His face remained unreadable as he watched her. At length he stated, "You're like Vincent." 

"Me? Like Vincent?" She laughed, and his expression darkened, as if to say, 'you know what I meant.' "All right, fine, you got me. Hojo did perform the same experiment," she conceded. "But at least I got to keep my arm." 

Sephiroth was not amused. "Why are you here?" he asked guardedly. 

"I heard you'd come back to life, and I decided to pay you a visit," Talya explained, knowing that that would not be enough for him. "We were friends, weren't we? Don't you trust me at all?" 

"I don't know you anymore," he stated. "And you're lying." 

"What _reason_ do I have to lie?" 

He shook his head, and his eyes remained closed to her. It seemed that there wasn't much left of the boy she had once known, and she didn't like it one bit. "I don't know," he replied, "but you're uneasy." 

"I guess it's because I haven't seen you in... what? Seventeen years?" He did not reply, and she went on, "So, where were you off to this fine morning? It looked like you were in a hurry." 

"What business is it of yours?" 

"Can't I just be curious?" she demanded, starting to get a little frustrated. "Honestly, you're treating me like a stranger." 

"I don't know how else to treat you," he said coldly. "You have not come to see an old friend, so until you explain your real reason, you are a stranger to me." 

"Look, Seph, it wasn't that hard to figure out that you were here. You being who you are, you can't pass through a town without people noticing you." 

"You know that's not why I don't trust you." With a sigh, he turned back to the chocobo. "Do what you will. I am leaving." 

"Wait!" 

He looked at her over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised questioningly. 

"Can't we at least talk for a while? Like old times?" she pleaded, finding that this was what she actually wanted from him. Yes, it was a convenient excuse to keep him here, but that was not why she had said it. 

Sephiroth studied her face for a moment, and eventually he nodded. "I suppose talking can't hurt," he conceded. 

Talya relaxed, smiling. "Thanks. Now, why don't we sit down? There's no point standing around if we don't have to." 

The two of them sat down on the stairs, Sephiroth a few steps above her, his gaze still fixed on her warily. 

"I guess you've got your memory back now," she said. "You wouldn't remember me otherwise." 

"Actually, I don't remember much of anything. Things are coming back to me slowly, so I do remember that we were friends, but I don't recall how we parted." 

"Oh?" she wondered, twisting to look up at him. "So, you don't remember Meteor?" 

He shook his head. 

"Then did..." She caught herself and rephrased the question. "How do you know about it? Did someone tell you?" 

"Vincent did." 

"Oh, I see. Where is he now? One would think he'd stick with you." _He would have done anything for his Lucrecia_, she thought, _so of course he would look after her son._

"He stayed behind," Sephiroth answered cautiously. "Had something to look after." 

"Oh, you're just full of answers!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands in exasperation. 

"For all I know, you still work for Hojo," he replied. 

Talya turned around to look at him. "Hojo's _dead_," she stated flatly. "You can't be doing work for a dead person, now can you?" 

"_I_ as dead a month ago, so don't expect me to believe that until I see his lifeless body for myself." 

"Hojo was human. Humans generally stay dead." 

Sephiroth sounded unconvinced. "Was he human, really? I wouldn't put it past him to inject _himself_ with Jenova cells." 

"Seph, you know what Jenova does to normal people. You think Hojo wanted to lose what little sanity he did possess?" 

"He may not have been brilliant, but he wasn't stupid. If it was the only way to hold onto his life, he would have used it without hesitation." 

Talya frowned, hating that she was losing this argument, badly. Damn his brilliance. He barely remembered anything, and he still managed to out-think her. "Even if you were right, what makes you think I'd still be working for him?" 

"You tell me," he said coldly, getting to his feet. "I never understood why you did it." 

She leapt to her feet as he started back up the steps. "Where are you going? I thought you were leaving." 

"No doubt you'd follow me if I left, so it really doesn't matter where I go." He paused and glanced back at her. "You should have known that you could never trick me into going with you. I suppose your only other option is to take me by force, isn't it? Do you have reinforcements of some kind? Because you know you cannot beat me on your own." 

Talya fell silent. There was nothing to say; he had already figured everything out, despite the fact that she had told him nothing. Her mere appearance seemed to have been enough to tip him off. She watched him go back into the village, relieved in some small way that he had foiled this attempt. She hadn't expected it to work, really; maybe she had just wanted to see him. 

But she could not just give this up, and so she followed him into Cosmo Canyon to wait for the right opportunity.

* * *

Sephiroth did not have to look to know that Talya had followed him into the village and would seek what information she could find from its inhabitants. So he went straight to the person who knew the most about him and who would speak it the most readily: Katrina. 

As he neared the door to their room, he could hear her grumbling in annoyance about how he had left without saying goodbye. Had he not just run into Talya, he might have been amused. He rapped on the door to gain her permission to enter. 

She stopped mid-sentence. "Who is it?" she asked, sounding puzzled. 

"Well, it can't be me," he said dryly, "because apparently I already left." 

"Sephiroth? Well, come in already, why don't you?" 

He entered the room, closing the door firmly behind him. 

Katrina was on her feet, walking towards him with a grin on her face. "I'm glad you decided to stay until I was awa--" 

"Not now," he interrupted. 

She blinked, stopping in the middle of the room, and her smile faded. 

"A woman has come into the village; she's a Turk, and her name is Talya--although she probably won't tell you that. She's a redhead, wearing a green shirt. She's going to want to know things about me, possibly Vincent and Aeris, too. Don't tell her anything, understand? Pretend you don't know me." 

"What's this all about?" Katrina asked in confusion. 

"When last I saw her, she worked for Hojo. She claims that he's dead, but I don't trust her. If Hojo is alive, he'll want me back. Aeris, too. I am not about to let him have us." 

She nodded in understanding. "I won't say a word. I promise." 

"Good," he said, turning to go. 

"Are you leaving now?" 

He paused and shook his head. "No, I can't now. I am going to ask Vincent to meet me here; there is safety in numbers." 

"But there's no way anyone could take you by force," Katrina stated. "You're Sephiroth, aren't you? You almost became a god five years ago." 

"That was then," was all he said before leaving the room. The truth of the matter was that he did not remember how to cast most of the spells he must have known before. His Masamune alone would not save him if there were others besides Talya. 

He made his way to the highest level of the village, where the observatory was, and sat down at its edge. There was no one there, which was exactly what he wanted. He pulled out his PHS and called Vincent. 

"(Yes?)" came Vincent's voice over the line after only one ring. He spoke quietly, as though he did not want anyone nearby to hear. Perhaps Aeris was sleeping, and he did not wish to wake her. 

"It's Sephiroth. I have a few things to ask of you." 

"(Go ahead.)" 

The swordsman hesitated. "First, how is Aeris?" 

"(She has not yet recovered in full, but she is strong enough to be travelling. We are currently on our way to Costa del Sol.)" 

"That's good," Sephiroth said, genuinely glad to hear it. "Secondly... You knew a Talya, did you not?" 

"(What does she have to do with you?)" came the guarded question. 

"She was assigned to Hojo while I was in his care, and she's come to Cosmo Canyon. She hasn't aged; whatever Hojo did to you, he repeated the experiment on her." 

"(What does she want?)" 

"She would not tell me the truth. I think that... Is it possible that Hojo is still alive? Did he have Jenova in him?" 

There was a long pause. "(Yes, he did have Jenova in him.)" 

"Then I think he has sent Talya here to take me back. He'll want Aeris back, too, I'm sure." He frowned. "He knows my abilities, and my limits. I doubt that Talya is all that he has." 

"(I know what you would ask of me, but I cannot leave Aeris on her own.)" 

Sephiroth thought for a moment. However foolish he felt admitting it to himself, he did not want to be on his own now. He did not want to go back to the Professor. "You are taking her to see Cloud, aren't you? Can he not protect her?" 

"(I will see what I can do.)" 

"Right." He was about to end the call when something occurred to him. "Vincent?" 

"(Yes...?)" 

"Don't tell Aeris any of this unless you have to. I don't want to involve her unnecessarily." 

"(I won't then.)" "Thank you." With that, Sephiroth turned off the PHS and put it away. He looked down at the village below with some ambivolence. A part of him appreciated the opportunity to stay here longer, but a part of him felt that he ought not to get too attached. After all, once he had done what little he could to atone, he would no longer have any valid purpose to stay on this planet. He would take his own life once this was finished with; there was no point in forming attachments when he would soon be leaving.

* * *

A sudden knock on the door startled Tifa from her sleep. She rolled over, glancing at the clock. Almost nine o'clock, on a Sunday morning. Unsurprisingly, Cloud was still asleep beside her, snoring quietly. At times he was a very deep sleeper, she had discovered over the years. She, on the other hand, woke at the slightest noise. 

Again came the knock on the door, not impatient, but insistant nevertheless. 

Tifa groaned and rolled out of bed, snatching up her bathrobe from where she had discarded it and pulling it on as she walked to the door. Whoever it was, didn't they realize that it was a _Sunday_? Honestly, who in their right mind came calling at this hour on a Sunday? Muttering under her breath, she opened the door, ready to give the caller a piece of her mind. When she saw the visitor, however, her mouth simply dropped open, and she staggered, gripping the doorknob to keep herself from falling. 

"Hi, Tifa," came a cheerful voice that she hadn't heard in over five years now. 

"Aeris?" Tifa spluttered in disbelief. This _had_ to be a dream. 

"Don't bother pinching yourself," Aeris said with a laugh. "You're not dreaming. I'll explain in a minute, but... where's Cloud?" 

Tifa kept staring, and she reached out a hand to touch the Cetra's shoulder, trying to reassure herself that her friend was really real. Finding living flesh beneath her fingers, she withdrew the hand and shook her head wordlessly. Countless questions flashed through her mind as she tried to comprehend this. How on earth could Aeris be standing here outside her door? Aeris had died. She had seen Aeris die. 

At length a smile found its way to her face, and she embraced the Cetra warmly. When she drew back, she motioned Aeris inside and called down the hall, "Cloud! You won't believe who's here!" Once she heard the loud grumbling that signified Cloud was awake, Tifa turned back to close the door and started when she saw Vincent. "O-oh," she said in sheepish surprise. "Sorry, Vincent. I didn't notice you there. Come on in." 

Just as Tifa was about to usher their guests into the living room, Cloud emerged from the bedroom, clad in a large T-shirt and boxer shorts. He raked a hand through his messy shock of blond hair and started to ask Tifa what was going on, but stopped dead when he caught sight of Aeris. He made several attempts to speak, but could not get any words out. Finally, he looked to Tifa for an explanation, but she only shook her head and smiled. 

"Cloud," Aeris said quietly, "it's good to see you again." She did not move closer to him, and it seemed to Tifa that she was trying to restrain herself. Vincent must have told her about their marriage; they had sent him an invitation, though he hadn't come to the wedding. 

"A... Aeris?" Cloud managed finally. When she smiled, he crossed the distance between them and hugged her close, probably trying to prove to himself, as Tifa had, that she was really back. He pulled away, searching her face for answers. "Wha... Why... How did you...?" 

"Why don't we sit down, and then I'll explain?" Aeris suggested. 

Cloud nodded shakily, and the four of them went to the living room. Aeris took a seat on one couch, while Tifa and Cloud sat down facing her. Vincent remained standing just inside the doorway. _He hasn't changed one bit_, Tifa thought to herself before giving Aeris her attention. 

"I know it's hard for you to understand," she began. "Sometimes I have trouble believing it myself, but... You both know about Sephiroth, right?" 

Both nodded, and Cloud's mouth tightened into a frown. Tifa remembered him telling her about the call earlier that week, and since then it had been a constant worry in the back of her mind. She wondered what it had to do with Aeris. 

"Well, a few days ago, he decided that he wanted to do what he could to make up for his past mistakes." 

Tifa exchanged looks with Cloud; why would Sephiroth want to help anyone? 

"So," Aeris went on, "the first thing he did was to go to the City of the Ancients to revive me." 

"And it worked?" Cloud asked, before realizing what a stupid question it was and grimacing. 

Both women laughed aloud. "I don't think Cloud's entirely awake yet," Tifa said, nudging him. 

It took Cloud a moment to recover from his embarrassment, and then he asked, "So, did you part ways from there?" 

Aeris shook her head. "Well, we spent the night in Bone Village, and Sephiroth moved on from there. I stayed behind, partly because I needed to get my strength back, and partly because... well... It was hard being near him." 

"Why didn't Vincent go with?" Tifa queried. 

"Can we really trust him to be on his own?" Cloud asked at the same time. 

"Vincent stayed behind because I needed someone to look after me," Aeris answered, seeming somewhat vexed by the questions. "And Sephiroth isn't the same man now that he was five years ago. He's... I think he's back to whoever he was before all that. I know it's hard for either of you to even consider trusting him, but in this life, he's done nothing but good." 

Tifa found herself hesitant to accept this, but after a moment she realized something: if Aeris trusted her killer, then there was no reason for anyone else to fear him. However reassuring this was, Tifa still felt uncomfortable, if for different reasons. There was a tension in the air, strung between Aeris and Cloud. She knew that they had feelings for each other that they had never voiced, and they could not voice them now because of her presence. 

"I'm going to take a shower," she announced. That, she decided, would give them enough opportunity to say whatever needed saying, and she would be able to untangle her own thoughts. 

Tifa nodded minutely to Aeris, gave Vincent a meaningful look as she passed him, and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Yes, a shower would be lovely.

* * *

After Tifa left, Vincent, too, stepped out of the room, leaving Aeris alone with Cloud. She realized that Tifa had wanted them to have some time alone, but nevertheless she felt guilty about the whole matter. Even being here, she felt as though she were betraying her friend; she could tell that her arrival was stirring up old feelings for Cloud. It wasn't fair to Tifa, but neither was it fair to leave them in the dark about her ressurection. 

It was all very complicated, and for a moment she only wanted to leave. She had let them know, so it was done with, right? But a glance into Cloud's eyes told her that she could not leave yet. The three of them had to get things straightened out as best they could. 

Only, she didn't know where to begin or what to say. "I'm sorry," she said at length, "but I had to let you know, and... I wanted to see you. I missed you." 

Cloud was not looking at her; his gaze was fixed on the table between them, and it was obvious that he was trying to find the right words to express himself. She waited patiently, and eventually he began, haltingly, "At first I thought... that maybe, somehow, you would come back. So I waited. Months went by, and then years, and there was nothing, no sign that I might finally get the chance to tell you... how I felt." He shook his head. 

"Tifa... she never once left my side, but I could tell that she was suffering from the same kind of waiting that I was." At last he looked up at Aeris, his expression pained. "And I couldn't let that happen to her. I thought, if we were together like this, that we wouldn't both have to be waiting. I thought that she could help me forget you, and that, even if I don't love her like I love you, I could still help her." 

"...and was it enough?" Aeris asked softly. 

Cloud did not reply. He turned to look at the bathroom door across the hall, avoiding her gaze. 

She sighed. "I never had much hope... for returning, I mean. I always had this absurd fantasy, that the Planet would take special pity on me, but I certainly never believed it." She lowered her gaze, fingering the rip in her dress. "When I left for the City, I was so sure that I'd see you again. I didn't think Sephiroth would..." 

She stopped herself to keep the memory at bay and shook her head. "I shouldn't have gone off on my own. I should have trusted you to protect me. It was my own fault, really." 

At this, Cloud looked at her in startlement. "No, Aeris," he said quickly, shaking his head. "It was never your fault. I was the one who gave the Black Materia to Sephiroth. If it hadn't been for my weakness, you would never have had to try and summon Holy. I was there when you died, and still I couldn't protect you. In fact, I almost..." He trailed off, ashamed. 

"Cloud, please don't blame yourself. That's the last thing I want you to do." 

He met her gaze seriously. "Then return the favor. I don't want you blaming yourself either." 

Aeris nodded gratefully and then slowly stood. "I should leave soon," she said, her eyes on the bathroom door. 

Cloud got to his feet in alarm. "Aeris--" 

"No, Cloud, I can't stay. Tifa needs you, and if I stay here, I'll only mess things up between the two of you. That's why I should go, before something happens that we'll all regret." 

She started for the door, but Cloud grabbed her wrist, and she turned to meet his gaze. 

"Please, Aeris. Just once, I want to..." 

This was why Tifa had left them alone, she knew. For this moment, they had her sanction, if only for one moment. A part of her wanted to refuse, out of loyalty to her friend, but the part that wanted this one moment was stronger. Surely, if Tifa didn't have to see--just once wouldn't hurt anything. 

"All right," Aeris consented. 

He let go her wrist and, hesitantly, slipped an arm about her waist, pulling her closer. She slid her arms about his neck and closed her eyes as his lips found hers. 

Once, she had dreamt of this moment often, but as time went on and she had seen him marry Tifa, she had grown less and less hopeful. At length it had been nothing more than a wistful fantasy, something that had no possibility of coming true. And yet, here she was, held close in his arms, and the feelings she had developed for him all those years ago were still as strong as before. She felt so safe in these arms, and she never wanted him to let go. 

But they could only allow themselves a moment. Just one moment, because they both knew that Tifa needed him more than she did. 

They pulled back from each other, her hands still on his shoulders and his at her waist, and she dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry," she whispered. 

"Don't be," he told her. "You leave all your regrets here, and then... you're going to forget about me and find someone new." 

She looked up to meet his gaze, smiling faintly. "I'll try. And you--you've already got Tifa. Learn to love her, Cloud; maybe then, neither of you will be waiting anymore." 

He nodded, and then she broke away from him, not knowing what to say anymore. She noticed that the shower had stopped, and she turned back to Cloud uncertainly. 

"You don't have to leave so soon," he told her. "Surely, for a while... you can--" 

"No. I have to go." 

"Go where?" Tifa asked. 

Aeris blinked, turning to see her standing in the bathroom doorway, clad again in her bathrobe, her long dark hair spilling down her back in wet locks. 

The Cetra faltered. "I... I don't know." 

Tifa glanced back and forth between the two. "Well, I'm sure Cloud wouldn't mind if you stayed here, right, Cloud?" 

He did not reply; however he felt, he had to know that Aeris was right. 

"Tifa," Aeris said quietly, "I can't, and you know it." 

The brunette sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "Wishful thinking, I guess. I just don't like the idea of turning you out into the world, without any certainties at all." 

"It's okay, Tifa. I... have other friends to turn to, besides you. Besides, I'm sure Vincent will be willing to put up with me for a while longer." She thought she saw him standing just around the corner. "Right?" 

Both Cloud and Tifa seemed startled when he came to stand in the hall with them. The ex-Turk met Aeris's gaze and nodded silently. 

Tifa seemed hesitant to accept this, but at length she nodded. "All right. But, don't leave so soon. You can at least spend the night, can't you?" 

"All right," Aeris agreed, fingering the tear in her dress. 

Her friend seemed to notice this, and she smiled. "Aeris, why don't we find you some new clothes?" she suggested. "Yours look a little worn-out." 

Aeris smiled sheepishly. "I guess they do. Do you think I could borrow some of yours for a while?" 

Tifa looked shocked by the suggestion. "Borrow? There's no need for that; we'll go shopping," she declared. When Aeris smiled, she added, "Just let me go get dressed." 

Once she had disappeared down the hall, Aeris turned to Cloud with a smirk. "I assume you don't want to come with, right?" 

He coughed and shook his head. "No, you two go ahead." 

Some minutes later, Tifa returned, now dressed in a pair of shorts and a tank top. "Are you ready to go?" she asked. 

Aeris nodded, and the two women left the villa and headed out into the streets. Costa del Sol had grown considerably in the past five years, the Cetra noted. Rather than being a relatively small resort town off the harbor, it now sported a number of new neighborhoods and shopping districts. There were even a few cars parked along the roads, and once or twice, a convertible whizzed past them as they walked. 

"A lot has changed," she remarked to her friend. "I guess it's because of all the refugees from Midgar... What's it like there nowadays? In Midgar, I mean." 

"I don't know," Tifa replied, shaking her head. "Barret's there, along with the handful of people who decided to stay, but we haven't paid him a visit in years." 

"Mm," Aeris said absently. Tifa took her inside a fair-sized shop (at least thrice the size of the one in Sector 6), and they began browsing the isles. Every now and then, one of them would hold up some article of clothing for inspection, and the other would think for a moment before shaking her head. 

"Are you sure you'll be all right with Vincent?" Tifa asked abruptly after they had been searching for a while. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, he's not really the best of company," the brunette answered as she rifled through one of the racks, pulling out a dress for Aeris's examination. "I've always found him sort of depressing, and he barely even speaks." 

Aeris shrugged, and they moved on. "I'll be fine," she said. "He's a lot nicer than he seems." 

"I find that hard to believe. I mean, I guess it says something that he's agreed to look after you, but still, he doesn't seem to care." 

"He _does_ care, Tifa. He's just gotten very good at hiding it." She paused, frowning disinterestedly at a red dress that she happened to have in her hands. "And, you know," she went on as she put it back, "I was watching all of you, from the Promised Land, and... I saw his nightmare. He really suffered through a lot, back then, and I think I can understand what it's done to him." 

"That was thirty-five years ago, Aeris," Tifa pointed out with a frown. "It seems a little pathetic that he still hasn't gotten over it." 

Aeris shook her head. "I don't think it seems that way to him. You remember, don't you? When we first woke him, he didn't seem to realize how much time had passed. And then, he relives it all whenever he closes his eyes; he couldn't forget it even if he wanted to." 

She pulled a black dress from the rack, peered at it for a moment, and then held it up for Tifa to see. "What do you think?" 

"_Black_?" the brunette asked, startled. 

"What? You don't think I'd look good in black?" 

"Well, um," Tifa faltered. "You just don't seem like the type to wear black." 

Aeris shrugged and put it back, deciding not to explain to her friend that at the moment, she felt it would suit her very well indeed. 

They moved on, and at length Tifa spoke again. "So you're absolutely fine with Vincent?" 

"_Yes_, Tifa, I am. I don't know why you're so worried about it. He's our friend, isn't he?" 

"You barely knew each other, Aeris. I have a hard time understanding his reasons for helping you." 

Aeris faltered. "I guess I can see what you mean. I'd probably be wondering the same thing, if I hadn't seen him with Lucrecia. He opened up for her. He _smiled_ for her. I'd like to think that that Vincent is still in him somewhere, and... I want to help him, if I can." 

"I'm not sure he _can_ be helped," Tifa said skeptically. 

"Maybe not, but I have to try. He deserves more than the life he's living now." 

Tifa glanced at her uncertainly and did not reply. They spoke little for the rest of the outing, save to comment on one outfit or another, and it saddened Aeris that her friend did not seem to understand. She conceded, though, that she had thought the same of Vincent five years prior. It was only after her own ordeal in the Promised Land that she had come to sympathize with him.

* * *

"So you're going, huh?" Reno asked from the doorway to their room. 

Elena glanced up from her packing. "Yeah." 

"Look, just because one of Rude's old drinking buddies thinks he saw her in Costa del Sol, doesn't mean it's true. Dead people just don't come back to life. That's what dead means." 

The blond went back to her closet to grab another shirt and stuff it in her duffel bag. "I still have to go." 

"I don't understand why it even _matters_ to you," the redhead went on, watching her. "I'm not even sure you ever _met_ the girl; why's it so important for you to see her?" 

"It's none of your business, Reno," she told him, flashing him an irritated look. 

He studied her carefully, trying to figure this out. "Does it have something to do with Tseng? I know he used to be a friend of hers." 

She kept her mouth shut with some difficulty and zipped her bag closed. 

"Okay, so I'm right then. What did he want you to tell her? Was it his dying request that you communicate his feelings for another woman?" he added with a smirk. 

Elena whirled on him, putting her fists on her hips. "Damnit, Reno! Just because you were madly in love with her doesn't mean everyone else was, too!" 

He raised an eyebrow. "Me? In love with that Ancient?" He snorted loudly. "Sure she was easy on the eyes, but that's taking it a little far. You don't see me running off across the ocean just because of some impossible rumor that she's alive again." 

She glared at him, willing him to shut up. It didn't work. 

"What is this called? Projecting? You just don't wanna admit that you had this insane crush on Tseng, and haven't gotten over it yet. It's cute, but also really pathetic. In love with a dead guy who never even looked at you. Huh!" 

Shouldering her bag, she walked to the doorway. "You'd better go straight to Hell when you die," she told him. "Now get out of my way. I'm leaving." 

"Sure thing," he said, stepping aside with a grin, as though he couldn't care less. 

Elena kicked him hard in the shin as she walked past, gaining some satisfaction from his stifled yelp. 

"Oi, Laney!" he called after her, some vexation in his voice. "When're you coming back?" 

"A week, maybe," she answered over her shoulder, "but preferably never." 

"Okay. See ya!" 

Stifling the urge to run back and strangle him, Elena left their apartment and headed for the harbor.

* * *

Author's Notes  
And after a lovely Sephiroth/Talya scene, we're back to Aeris. You know, originally there were about three full pages of angst accompanying the kiss Cloud and Aeris share, but I decided I ought to tone that down and make it more private. P Seriously, there was even something ressembling an _essay on Vincent_ in that mess. Just, totally... unnecessary. I also did far more point-of-view switching than was normal or healthy. 

The scene with Reno and Elena is one of those that's gone through so many changes that it scarcely ressembles the original. I really didn't have a good grasp of Reno back then. I think it was my first time writing him, as in all the roleplays I'd done, my friend Rax had been the one to do him. Come to think of it, she'd also done Elena. Huh. Anyway, I decided I wanted to paint Reno as much more of a jackass than I did originally, because he's so much more fun that way. 


	10. Open Wounds

**Chapter 9: Open Wounds**

After showering, Cloud returned to the living room to find that Vincent had again taken up his place by the door. The ex-Turk watched him as he flopped back down on the couch, but he said nothing. After a while, Cloud glanced at him. "Are you ever going to sit down?" he asked. 

Vincent shrugged and made no move towards the couch. 

Cloud sighed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. So, Aeris was alive... Seeing her again stirred up so many feelings that he had been trying to suppress for the past five years. He was glad to see her alive again, so much so that he could not put it into words, but nevertheless... it did complicate things. 

He had been doing well, he thought. Lately, he hadn't thought of Aeris much, and Tifa had seemed happy with him. But now that she had returned, he knew that he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about her. Knowing that she was alive, knowing that death was no longer a barrier between them, a part of him would constantly want to be with her. 

And yet, he could not abandon Tifa. Had Aeris lived, he wasn't sure what would have become of his best friend. Would she have withered away, lacking the strength to tell him how she felt? And he, dense fool that he was, would he have even noticed? Marrying her had brought her so much joy, even though she knew that he still did not care for her as he did for Aeris. Still, it had given her the hope that maybe, one day, that would change. 

What it had done for his own heart, though, Cloud wasn't sure. With Aeris's return, he realized that he had been trying to forget that he could even feel that strongly. But he still could not express those feelings. He couldn't do that to Tifa; neither of them could. However much he hated it, he would have to push Aeris away. He only hoped that she would find something else. She had always had a strong heart, hadn't she? She could survive this. And he could survive it, if he had Tifa to help him. But, would Tifa feel guilty because she was getting in the way? He didn't want her to feel that way. 

"Why is life so complicated?" he demanded of the ceiling, forgetting that he wasn't alone. 

Vincent looked at him with something akin to sympathy in his eyes. "Matters of the heart are always complicated," he said, speaking for the first time since his arrival, "and only too often, they end in tragedy and pain. You should consider yourself lucky." 

"I guess you would know," Cloud remarked cautiously, "what with Lucrecia and all." 

The ex-Turk said nothing, tearing his eyes away to stare at the wall. 

"I was wondering," the blond went on, "why did you decide to help Aeris? What does she mean to you?" 

"Do you really think me that cold-hearted?" Vincent asked. Cloud couldn't tell whether or not he was offended. The ex-Turk did seem cold-hearted, and he knew it. When Cloud did not reply, Vincent answered, "She was weak and needed someone to look after her. Certainly Sephiroth was not the one to do it." 

"Is that it, then? Just a process of elimination?" Cloud asked, studying him carefully. "That still doesn't explain why you're here now. You could have just escorted her here and then gone on your way. Why stay with her?" 

Vincent sighed, his gaze lowering to the floor. A long silence preceded his answer, but finally he murmured, "She reminds me so much of Lucrecia..." 

At first this confession surprised him, but he realized that he knew practically nothing about Lucrecia, besides the fact that Vincent had loved her. Did this mean that Vincent had transferred some of these feelings to Aeris? He decided not to pry any further. 

"How did Aeris react, when Sephiroth revive her?" he asked instead. 

"It was strange," Vincent answered, seeming more comfortable with this topic. "At first she was afraid, yes, but then... It was almost as though she had known him, before Nibelheim. She certainly did not seem to bear him any ill will." 

Cloud shook his head slowly. "Sometimes I really don't understand her." 

"Then perhaps this separation of yours is for the best; she deserves someone who understands her." 

He frowned and was just about to reply when he heard the front door open. Moments later, Aeris came back into the living room, followed by Tifa. The Cetra now wore a black, pleated skirt and two shirts, one sleeveless and spring green with a sort of dark green short-sleeved jacket over it. She smiled and spun around, letting the skirt fan out around her. 

"You look beautiful, Aeris," Cloud told her, trying not to stare. 

"Thank you, Cloud," she replied as she sat back down opposite, tossing her wavy brown hair back over her shoulder. 

Tifa sat down beside Cloud, saying nothing. She was watching Aeris almost wistfully, and Cloud immediately felt guilty. He looked down at the table, wishing that he could love her the way she wanted him to. He had tried, but she was still only a friend in his heart. 

"So how did you want to spend the rest of the day?" Tifa asked after a moment. 

Aeris shook her head. "How do you guys normally spend your Sundays?" 

"Sleeping," Cloud answered. 

Tifa cast him a look and turned back to Aeris. "Well, we do sleep in pretty late, but we usually head down to the beach in the afternoon." 

"That sounds nice," the Cetra remarked. "Although... I don't have a swimsuit." 

"You can borrow one of mine," Tifa told her. 

Aeris nodded and then turned to their silent companion standing by the door. "So, Vincent, what do you think?" 

He blinked in surprise. "Hmm?" 

"Do you want to come with?" 

Frowning as though he could not figure out why she was asking, he shook his head. 

"Why not?" Aeris persisted. 

"I see no point in it," he replied. 

"Vincent, not everything has to serve some higher purpose. Sometimes you just have to relax and have a little fun." 

"Aeris, Vincent just doesn't 'have fun,'" Cloud said, grinning in amusement. "It's not like him." 

Tifa caught the Cetra's gaze and put in, "But don't you think it would be good for him to get out a little?" 

"I guess he is a little _too_ pale," he considered. 

"That's not what I meant," Tifa laughed. 

"I know, I know, but I don't see how we'd ever get him to agree to it." 

Vincent frowned. "I would prefer it if you would not speak of me as though I were not here." 

"Sorry," Cloud apologized. 

"So are you coming?" Aeris asked again. 

"Well?" the blond prompted when her question furnished no reply. "We haven't got all day." 

Sighing, Vincent nodded his agreement. "I'll come... but don't think that I am doing it of my own free will." 

"He's lying," Cloud whispered to Tifa, loud enough so that both Aeris and Vincent could still hear. "He just wants to see all the pretty girls in their bikinis." 

"Cloud--!" Aeris exclaimed, feigning indignation but really suppressing a giggle. Tifa laughed aloud, but Vincent looked none-too-pleased. 

"Kidding, kidding," Cloud laughed, holding up his hands to Vincent. He liked this moment, with the three of them laughing, their complex feelings momentarily forgotten. 

"Well then, let's get ready," Tifa said, getting to her feet. The three of them left the living room in search of swimwear, no one bothering to ask Vincent about it--they all assumed that they could not possibly push him to that extent. It was a miracle that he had even agreed to coming. 

Once they were all ready, the four of them left the villa and headed down the sandy street to the beach. If there had only been the three of them, people would have thought nothing of it, but Vincent's presence drew them a lot of stares, many of them fearful. Cloud realized that they hadn't received that much attention since their days in Avalanche, when people would notice their weapons and shy away. 

They reached the beach, finding it busier than usual, and managed to procure a few vacant beach chairs to toss their towels on. Kicking off their flip-flops, Tifa, Cloud, and Aeris headed out into the water, leaving Vincent behind in the shade of a large umbrella. Only Aeris seemed bothered that he remained behind, but out in the ocean, she soon forgot about him. They all forgot themselves and their worries, content to play around, attacking each other with water. 

Cloud liked that about the ocean; not only was it beautiful, but it seemed to bring out the child in everyone. And he certainly needed to feel carefree right now.

* * *

They spent nearly the entire day at the beach, and somehow Aeris managed to drag Vincent out into the water, if only for a few minutes. In the late afternoon, they mostly stayed out of the water and sat around on the beach talking. They made dinner of a pizza, and then decided to head back, realizing only then what a marvel it was that Vincent had remained with them for the entire time. 

"I call first shower!" Aeris announced as she walked in through the villa's front door. 

"I call second!" Tifa cried immediately after, laughing. 

Cloud sighed and shook his head. "That makes me last, doesn't it?" 

"Not unless Vincent beats you to it," Aeris told him. 

The blond glanced at Vincent and grinned sheepishly. "Er... I guess I call third then." 

Aeris went to gather her clothes while the others filed into the living room to wait their turns. Soon she was in the shower with warm water running over her. It was really the first time she had bathed in five years, she realized. She found it refreshing, as though it washed away more than just the salt water. Looking down at herself, she caught sight of the scab on her abdomen, from where Sephiroth had stabbed her. She wondered if it would leave a scar, or if, once it healed, there would be nothing left there to remind her. 

She wished that the water could wash that memory away, too. 

Once she felt that she was as clean as water could make her, Aeris stopped the shower, dressed herself, and stepped out of the bathroom. In the living room across the hall, she noticed that Cloud and Tifa had another guest, and she started. It was Elena, she realized, of the Turks. She had grown her hair out so that she could tie it back, and that was what had made her hard to recognize. 

Aeris entered the living room, confusion on her face. "Um, hello," she faltered. The Turk must have arrived while she was in the shower, but the reason was beyond her. She looked to Cloud and Tifa for help, but neither of them seemed to understand it either. 

"You really _are_ alive again," Elena breathed. When Aeris looked back at her, she looked embarrassed. "I mean, um, hi. Listen, would you mind talking for a bit? I promise I won't take up too much of your time." 

Aeris exchanged glances with her friends, then shrugged and nodded. "I don't see why not." 

Elena turned to Tifa and Cloud. "Do you two mind stepping outside? It's sort of personal." 

The nodded uncertainly and got up to leave the room. Cloud paused at the doorway. "What about Vincent?" 

"He can stay," Aeris interjected before Elena could protest. She knew that the ex-Turk would not breathe a word about it to anyone, and somehow she felt it might be a good idea for him to listen in. 

"All right," Elena agreed reluctantly. After the other two had left, closing the door behind them, she glared at Vincent threateningly. "You had better not tell anyone about what I say." 

"I won't," he said simply. 

This did not convince her, and she turned to Aeris. "Are you sure we can trust him?" 

"Of course; he's Vincent," Aeris replied. "And anyway, he used to be a Turk, like you. You'd trust one of your own, wouldn't you?" 

At this, Elena's eyes widened and she stared at Vincent anew. "You mean you're Vincent _Valentine_?" she exclaimed. "But, wait a minute, you can't be. You're only like, twenty-something, right?" 

"He's older than he looks," the Cetra explained. "Something to do with Hojo's experiment." 

"Oh, right! I remember reading about that when I looked at his file. Still..." She leaned forward to peer at Vincent, and then she blinked. "He _does_ look the same!" 

"I fail to see what is so amazing," Vincent said flatly. 

"Oh, come _on_," Elena said. "You were only the greatest Turk of all time! Never mind that you weren't in action for very long, you were still--" She broke off at a look from Vincent and dropped her gaze. "I mean... um... No wonder we could never beat you guys." 

"Anyway," Aeris cut in to save them all from an awkward moment, "I know you didn't come all this way to pester Vincent. Why are you really here?" 

The Turk took a moment to compose herself. "You know that Tseng died, right?" 

She nodded. "Sephiroth killed him, at the Temple." 

Elena shook her head. "Actually, he hung on until after Meteor, which was when we found him. He was dying, and he wanted me to tell you something." 

Aeris knew she had watched that moment, but now she remembered it only vaguely. "Go on," she prompted, wondering all the while why Elena had taken this so seriously. 

"He said... to tell you that he was sorry, that he should never have become a Turk." After a pause, she shook her head. "But you know, if he hadn't become a Turk, I would never have met him..." At this, she colored slightly and stared at her hands. 

"You... were in love with him?" Aeris asked carefully. 

"Ah! I... Well, I guess I didn't know him that well, but I still... I don't know if I'd call it love, but... Yeah. I guess so." 

The Cetra did not know quite what to say. It did explain, though, why Elena had come. 

They both started when Vincent spoke up. "If Sephiroth intends to undo his mistakes, he may try to revive Tseng as well." 

Elena sat bolt upright. "Sephiroth? Revive Tseng? Someone please explain!" 

"Calm down, Elena," Aeris said gently, trying not to smile. "I'll explain." When she had the Turk's attention, she went on, "Yes, Sephiroth is alive again; the Jenova cells in his body brought him back. But this time, there's no need to worry. He's got his sanity back, too, and when he learned of what he had done, he decided that he wanted to undo it as best he could. So, the first thing he did was revive me." 

At this the Turk laughed sheepishly. "And here I was under the impression that Vincent revived you..." 

"Vincent? Where did you get that idea? He can't even cast magic without materia." 

"I dunno... I mean, well, he's not human, is he? I didn't know about Sephiroth, and it's not like you can come back to life on your own, so..." 

"Oh." After a moment, Aeris asked, "Are you going to stay long?" 

Elena shook her head. "No. Not now anyway. I'm going to go find Sephiroth and ask him to bring Tseng back." 

"Well," the Cetra decided at length, "we might as well come with you. We were going to leave in the morning anyway, and I'd like to see Tseng, too." 

"'We'?" Elena queried. 

"Vincent and I." 

The Turk looked confused. "What about Cloud? I thought, you two...?" 

Aeris could not help wincing a little. "Yes, we do, but... He married Tifa in my... absence, so I can't stay here." 

"Then what's the deal with Vincent? Why's he coming with you?" 

"Well, he'd probably tell you that it's some sort of obligation, but I'd like to think that he's my friend. Right, Vincent?" she asked, glancing over at him. 

He did not reply. 

"Oh well," the Cetra sighed. "Maybe he'll admit it some other day." 

Elena smiled tentatively. "Anyway, I'm staying at the inn tonight, so I'll come by in the morning to meet up with you two, okay?" 

"All right," Aeris agreed. "See you tomorrow then."

* * *

Vincent lay on one of the couches in the living room, staring up at the ceiling. After some argument, Aeris had agreed to take the spare bedroom in the basement, and so he had been stuck with the couch--not that he really cared. He was not certain he would be able to sleep anyway; his thoughts were in turmoil, and had been for some days now. 

Aeris had said that Lucrecia had loved him. Lucrecia herself had told him the same. He had spent so long telling himself that she had never loved him, that her death was his fault, and that he deserved to rot in hell. But, if she had truly loved him, what then? Did it really change anything? It did not bring her back to life, and he still felt the same guilt, perhaps an even deeper one--for hadn't he failed to notice that she wanted to be with him, not Hojo? 

He had avoided her because it had hurt to see her, because every time he had looked at her, it had reminded him that she was not his. He had been so very selfish, and so he had not noticed. Surely, he could not be forgiven for that. 

And yet... would Lucrecia really want him to live like this? He knew the answer was no, but after all these years, he was not sure how else to live. 

Earlier that day, a man at the beach had called him a boy. A _boy_. Vincent was probably older than that man, and yet... the man had called him a boy. With the exception of his outlandish clothing, Vincent realized that he probably had appeared to fit in with the others. They all _appeared_ to be the same age. But, on the inside, he felt as though he had lived a thousand years. Every moment for him hung ponderously with his self-blame, and that weight made time stretch out slower and slower. It was that inner age, in contrast to his appearance, that prevented him from belonging with anyone. 

Perhaps he could settle down somewhere to live, but what would happen when someone eventually noticed that he never got any older? Rumors would come first, and then the questions that he would have no desire to answer. And with that sort of mystery around him, no one would want to associate with him any longer. And so, what was the point? 

There were, of course, his so-called friends that he had made during his time with Avalanche, but even they, with the exception of Aeris, still seemed to fear him. They barely knew him, and always behaved uneasily in his presence. Surely he could not make himself a burden to any of them. 

And so he was left with no place to go, as always. It seemed that only sleep had anything to give him, and then it had only nightmares. 

The sound of rapid and uneven footsteps down the hall attracted his attention. He twisted to look as the door flew open, and there stood Aeris's shadowy figure, gripping the doorknob and scanning the room anxiously. She wore a pale green nightgown that hung just past her knees, and her wavy hair hung in disarray, most of it down her back but some over her shoulders and in her face. Her green eyes shown in the darkness, but with a natural sheen, not the uncanny glow of Mako. 

"Vincent?" she called shakily, and he realized that it was too dark for her to see. 

"Yes?" he answered, sitting up. If nothing else, she should have been able to see his eyes. "Is something wrong?" 

Leaving the door open, she took a few careful steps closer to the couch. "I..." She faltered and let out a jittery sort of laugh. "I'm afraid of the dark," she admitted. "It must seem very childish to you, for a grown woman to..." 

"No," he said as she trailed off. "Death can do that to a person." 

She nodded slowly. "I guess... you've died before, too, haven't you? I keep thinking... no, I don't want to talk about it. But, I feel safer with someone else in the room. At Bone Village, you were always nearby, so I knew, if something happened, you'd protect me." She looked away suddenly. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you just want to get some sleep. I only wanted to ask if you'd mind me taking the other couch." 

Vincent stared at her. She felt safer... with him? "Cloud and Tifa have another bed in their room," he told her. "Why not ask them?" 

Aeris shook her head. "No, I couldn't." 

For a moment he did not reply, but then he nodded. "I understand." 

"Thanks." She made her way falteringly to the other couch and sat down. "You know, Vincent... I'm surprised you came with us today." When he said nothing, she added, "It was a good first step, I think." 

"A first step towards what?" 

"Healing." 

"I only went because it seemed easier than arguing," he replied dispassionately. 

This seemed to disappoint her. "Vincent, you're never going to get over her if you don't try. I can only do so much for you if you don't put any effort into it." 

"You have no obligation to help me." 

"But I want to. I want to see you recover from it. You can't keep living in the past." 

"So what are you saying? That I should forget?" He was surprised to find anger in his own voice. 

"No," she answered quietly. "I know it's still fresh in your mind. Maybe it's been thirty-five years since then, but it doesn't seem that long ago to you, does it? Even so, you have to realize that it has been a long time, and you have to move on. I know you think that you have to punish yourself, but eventually, all that self-hatred is going to break you. I don't think that's what Lucrecia wanted for you." 

He stared at her, shocked that her words almost made him feel human. It was akin to how Lucrecia's words had made him feel, but not the same. "I know," he replied, looking away, "but beyond this, what else is there?" 

"I'm willing to help you," the Cetra said gently. "You can't want to stay behind that mask. You can't want to feel guilty for the rest of your life. So, if you're willing, I can try to help you find yourself." 

For a moment they were both silent. "Let me ask you something, Aeris," he said at length, "and I want a real answer from you. I don't believe this is about friendship; we are not friends. So why do you bother with me? Why do you care?" 

"Because I've seen you without the mask, and I want to bring that you back to the surface again." 

A part of him wanted to accept her aid, but something held him back. There was a deeper reason for his exile, one that he scarcely dared to admit to himself, but now he could not ignore it. It had little to do with how others viewed him, little to do with their fear. Rather, it was his own fear that held him back. He had always been afraid that if he let down his guard, someone would become dear to him, and that he would only end up hurting them like he had hurt Lucrecia. 

If something like that ever happened again, he would not be able to live with himself. 

And here sat Aeris, offering her kindness to a man who did not deserve it, and she reminded him so much of Lucrecia. 

"Aeris," he said finally, "I can't." 

Her face fell, and she opened her mouth to say more, but he cut her off. 

"No more tonight. We both need to rest if we are to leave in the morning." With that, he lay back down, turning his back to her and shutting his eyes. The nightmares found him in his sleep, as they always did, and as always he accepted his role as observer without protest. He had long since given up on trying to change anything.

* * *

Sephiroth sat on a landing overlooking the canyon, watching Talya where she sat in the Candle's light. He wondered if she knew that he was watching; certainly, he had made sure to situate himself in the shadows, so it was doubtful that she could see him, but still--could she feel his gaze on her back? Would she know it when he finally looked away? 

"Oi, Seph," came Katrina's voice to his right. He had noticed her approaching, but did not bother to turn his head. "What are you still doing up? It's practically midnight." 

"I am not tired," he lied. 

"Right," she said skeptically, crouching down beside him. "Look, you don't have to pretend that reviving Aeris didn't take anything out of you. If you're tired, get some rest." 

"I cannot rest while Talya is here. If I take my eyes off of her, she might--" 

"Seph," Katrina interrupted, "you're the one she's after, remember? You're a light sleeper, aren't you? She can't catch you off-guard." 

"Yes, she can. She did earlier, and that worries me." 

She settled herself into a more comfortable sitting position, apparently realizing that this was going to take longer than she had thought. "Then do you trust somebody else to watch her?" 

"Like who? You?" He barely kept himself from scoffing. 

"Hey, I've got two eyes and the awesome teenage power of staying up very late without getting tired." 

Sephiroth was unimpressed. "She would not let you warn me; certainly she would have no qualms about killing you." 

"Okay, so why don't we ask Nanaki or Miera? I hear they're seasoned warriors." It did, however, impress him that she did not sound in the least afraid. 

"There is no need for them to get involved." 

Katrina sighed in exasperation. "Listen, Seph, you won't be able to fight very well if you're exhausted. Even if she manages to catch you off-guard, shouldn't it take more than the element of surprise to beat you?" 

"She is a Turk, Katrina," he stated. "She won't fight fair." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

He looked at her for the first time, pointedly. "It means that you should not be talking to me." 

She was silent for a moment, trying to figure this out. "You mean, you're worried that she'll use me to get to you?" 

"Yes," he clipped, looking back at Talya. 

"Well, then I'll make myself scarce so you don't have to worry about me." Katrina climbed to her feet. "Now _get some sleep_ already." 

He did not reply, and he soon heard her footsteps going inside the canyon. He wondered how she intended to protect herself. She had gone in the direction of the observatory; did she intend to seek Nanaki's protection? 

Sighing, Sephiroth stood and made his way down to the inn, watching Talya out of the corner of his eye as he passed her. She did not spare him any glances, and for some reason he found himself reassured. Perhaps he could afford to sleep this night. He did, after all, need the rest.

* * *

_"I saw her again today." _

Talya looked at him in surprise. "You mean Aeris?" 

"Yes. She was crying," the boy went on thoughtfully. "I remember I used to cry, when I was very small. Is the Professor treating her badly?" 

"No, of course not. Even he would never work with a child that young." 

"I used to be that young," Sephiroth pointed out. 

"You're different." 

He frowned, but only asked, "Then why was she crying?" 

Talya shook her head. "I don't know." 

"Maybe she wants to see her mother," he reflected. "Or maybe she's afraid for her mother... But, if the Professor won't work with her yet, why is he even keeping her here? I know he doesn't care about emotional ties." 

"No, he doesn't," the Turk agreed. 

Sephiroth turned back to her almost hopefully. "Do you?" 

"Of course." 

"Then why don't you try stopping him?" 

Talya looked away. "Why don't you?" 

"Because I am 'only an experiment,'" he answered bitterly. 

"Don't say that..." 

"Isn't that what the Professor wants me to believe? Isn't that what you've always told me?" 

She turned back to him, looking torn. "Yes, but..." Suddenly she drew him into her arms. "Oh, hell, Sephiroth, I didn't mean it. Don't believe it for another second." 

Sephiroth sat tensely, unable to return the embrace. "What are you doing?" 

"It's called a hug, or haven't you heard the word before?" 

"I have. It just seems strange, coming from you." 

She did not release him, and he wasn't sure if he appreciated that or not. "Why do you say that?" 

"Because you've never been... soft." 

"That's why I'm a Turk, isn't it?" Talya said, sounding almost regretful. 

"I guess." 

"Believe me, I'd be a lot nicer to you if I knew how." 

"Why?" Sephiroth asked, but she did not reply.

* * *

Author's Notes  
The beach scene, which was such a huge part of the first version, was almost completely cut from this one. It was mostly Vincent angst, which is something I really, really needed to get rid of. I mean, I guess it was written decently enough, but it really doesn't belong in this fic. Instead I decided to go straight to Elena's arrival, which is where we get the first mention of the possibility of Sephiroth reviving Tseng. From this point on my friend Katie was always on my case about Tseng being revived. 

We also have another of the handful of remaining Aeris/Vincent scenes. Originally... the two of them ended up sharing the bed in the basement. I really used to like sticking characters in awkward situations like that. Well, to be honest, I still find situations where two characters are forced to share a bed fun, but I don't think this one really worked. I altered it so that awkwardness is no longer present, but I still got to put in Aeris's fear of the dark. This is also where some of the dialogue from the deleted beach scene ended up. 

And lastly, we have an entirely new scene between Sephiroth and Katrina because I needed a little something to show what was going on with them in the mean time. Also, even if no one else seems to appreciate her, I like Katrina. 


	11. Whatever You Want to Be

**Chapter 10: Whatever You Want to Be**

They left the villa an hour after dawn, finding Elena waiting outside for them, a green duffel bag slung over one shoulder. 

"Are you guys ready to go?" she asked of them. 

"Yes," Aeris replied. 

"So, where do you think we'll find Sephiroth?" Elena wondered. 

"Cosmo Canyon," Vincent stated, surprising both women by speaking. 

"Are you sure?" the Cetra asked. "I mean, I know Katrina wanted to go there, but..." 

"I am certain." 

She exchanged glances with Elena, and then shook her head, smiling. "All right then." 

"I guess this means we head down to the docks and see if there's a ship going that way," Elena concluded. The others nodded their agreement and followed her to the docks, where they managed to buy passage on a ship bound for the Cosmo area only a few minutes before it left. 

After they lost sight of Costa del Sol, Elena retreated below deck, claiming that her stomach didn't agree with all the rocking. That left Aeris alone with Vincent again, and, unsurprisingly, for some time there was no conversation between them. At first Aeris did not mind; she was content to lean against the rail with the sea breeze in her face and watch the coastline as they made their way south along it. 

At length, though, she decided to break the silence. "Vincent, I've been wondering," she began. "Did you ever find out anything more about the Cetra on your journey to defeat Sephiroth?" 

He nodded minutely. "Yes, we did. Professor Gast left behind much of his research in his house in Snow Village. Your mother Ifalna lived there, and he taped several interviews with her." 

"My mother knew Professor Gast?" Aeris wondered. 

Vincent looked at her strangely. "He was your father; you didn't know?" 

"My father?" she asked in startlement, turning to stare at him. After a moment, she managed to regain her composure, and she shook her head. "No, I didn't know. Mom never told me." 

"Apparently he went north after quitting the Jenova Project, both to get away from Hojo and to do further research on the Cetra." 

"Nn. Do you... remember what was in the videos?" 

"Yes," he answered cautiously. "Do you want to hear it?" 

"No, not now," she said. "I'm sure you'd prefer not to recount everything. But... if you could put it into writing for me sometime, I'd really appreciate it." 

"All right." 

"Thanks," she said, offering him a smile before she turned her attention back to the water. After a moment, she remarked, "It's beautiful, isn't it?" 

"Hmm?" 

"The ocean." 

"Yes," he agreed hesitantly, "it is beautiful." 

Aeris glanced at him. "Does it remind you of anything?" 

He shook his head, and, after a short pause, asked, "What about you?" 

She smiled, glad to see him making some sort of effort. "I guess... it reminds me of Cloud. His eyes are this color, and he really seems to love the ocean." She shook her head. "Of course, I guess this means I won't be able to settle down near the sea, if it keeps making me think of him." 

To this, Vincent did not reply. 

"I was thinking," she continued more quietly. "If you asked it of him, Sephiroth would probably be willing to try reviving Lucrecia." 

She could feel his gaze turn on her in scrutiny. "...and how many lives will the Planet allow to be taken back from it, Aeris?" 

"I don't know," Aeris sighed. "I'm not even sure if he'll be able to bring back anyone else... My soul was in tact because the Planet kept me in the Promised Land, but most other souls are eventually torn apart and recycled. Maybe that won't have happened to Lucrecia, because of the Jenova in her, but maybe it will have. I guess... I was only wondering how you would react if you could have her back." 

Vincent turned away, saying nothing for some time. "She deserves another chance at life," he decided eventually. "Me, I don't deserve that; I would only do what she asked of me. If... if she truly loves me, then I would stay with her. But only if she wanted it." 

"I'm sure that she would want it," Aeris said. "I'm also sure that you deserve it just as much as she does." 

He did not reply, and she took this as a good sign. If he was not arguing with her, then maybe he was not so strongly opposed to the notion as before. Satisfied with this conversation, Aeris returned her attention to the sea and watched the water flying in the ship's wake. Maybe, she thought, even without Cloud, she could find a purpose in this life.

* * *

Aeris followed Vincent up the steps to Cosmo Canyon, Elena a few paces behind her. She felt tired, and not only from the journey here. Rather than standing idle while the others protected her, she had insisted on fighting alongside them. Vincent had lent her the Quicksilver, which she at least had been able to use for the materia slots, even if her aim was terrible. And so, still not back to her full strength, using magic had drained her, and her feet dragged a little as she reached the top of the stairs. 

The gatekeeper frowned at them thoughtfully. "I recognize you two," he said, indicating Aeris and Vincent. 

"I'm surprised," Aeris remarked. "We haven't been here for about five years." 

"Five years, huh? Are you friends of Nanaki?" 

"Yes, that's right." 

The gatekeeper smiled and stepped back to let them in. "He's up at the observatory; go say hello." 

Aeris nodded, returning the smile. "We will." The three of them entered the village, and the Cetra turned to Elena. "I guess you'll want to go look for Sephiroth." 

Elena seemed a little uncertain, as though she didn't want to do such a thing on her own, but she nodded. "Right. I'll meet up with you later." 

When she had gone, Aeris turned to Vincent. "Come on. Let's go say hi to Nanaki." She started up towards the observatory, looking around at the many changes that had occurred since her last visit. Like other towns, this place had swelled to accept refugees from Midgar, and by now countless homes hung from the canyon's walls. 

Nanaki was waiting for them at the top of the ladder, and his one eye widened at the sight of her. "Hello, Aeris," he greeted when he found his voice. "It's good to see you again." 

She smiled. "It's good to see you, too, Nanaki. I guess Sephiroth told you about me...?" 

"Yes. Or, rather, his travelling companion did." He nodded to Vincent as he came up behind Aeris, and then got to his feet. "Come. There's someone I want you to meet." He walked to the door, pushing down on the handle to open it. Aeris realized with some amusement that he must have had it changed from the usual round knob so that he could open it. 

The person who was waiting in the room beyond was not one that Aeris had ever expected to see. This feline looked very much like Nanaki, only her coat was a little more golden, her sleek form just a little smaller. Her eyes--for she still had both of them--were a yellow-green rather than pure gold, and the feathers in her short mane were tipped in green. She had the same facial tattoos that Nanaki did, but otherwise her hide was relatively unmarked. 

"This is Miera," Nanaki said, introducing them. "Miera, these are old friends of mine, Aeris and Vincent." 

"Nice to meet you," Aeris said, managing to overcome her shock. 

Miera smiled a cat-like smile. "Nanaki has told me much about you." 

Nanaki nodded towards the sofa. "Sit down. You two must be tired, and you probably have questions." 

Aeris took a seat as directed, but Vincent moved to stand in the corner, folding his arms. 

"Some things never change," Nanaki commented, shaking his head. 

"I guess so," the Cetra agreed reluctantly. "But I do have questions. Most obviously... I thought you were the last of your kind." 

"Well, 'thought' is the key word in that sentence," Miera said. "My parents once lived in this canyon with Nanaki's, over a century ago--a long time to you humans, I am sure." 

"Why did they leave?" 

"Some people just have a mind for travel, and they can't be pinned down to one place. They made the mistake of crossing to the Midgar continent only a few years before Shinra emerged as a real power there. And with Shinra so interested in 'science,' it was no longer safe for them to pass through the human towns to get home. 

"I was born there some sixty-seven years ago, and spent those early years more or less in hiding." 

"Wait," Aeris interrupted. "You're older than Nanaki?" She looked back and forth between the two, noticing Nanaki's decorated mane. "Why is it that he has more feathers than you then?" 

"They don't mark age," Nanaki explained. "After the first two, we earn them." He looked down, seeming embarrassed. "I got this third one after we fought Sephiroth." 

"I see." The Cetra smiled apologetically at Miera. "I'm sorry for interrupting. Please continue." 

Miera tossed her head uncomfortably. "My story really isn't very interesting. Much of our time was spent trying to avoid the humans, although at length we had a run in with Professor Hojo. The encounter cost my parents their lives, but I escaped and fled to the mountains where most humans dare not venture. It wasn't until after Meteor that I went down to one of the nearby towns to learn what happened. 

"After that, I made my way here, where I found myself greeted by Nanaki. Or, at least, he tried to greet me, but we ended up gaping at each other. You see, _both_ of us had believed we were the last." 

Aeris smiled. "It must have been nice to find out you weren't alone." 

Nanaki tilted his head to regard her thoughtfully. Had it occurred to him before that she might have felt the same way as him? 

"I have to wonder though," the Cetra went on before he could say anything. "Shouldn't Bugenhagen have known you weren't the last?" 

"I think... he did know," Nanaki said, looking at the floor. "The last time we spoke, he told me to go out into the world. He said that I might even find my life's mate. At the time, I thought he was only carrying a fool's hope, but I suppose he was right." 

"So, are the two of you going to marry within my lifetime?" Aeris wondered jokingly. 

Nanaki shifted uncomfortably. "Marriage is a human custom," he said gruffly. "Our tribe does not follow it." 

"It's a silly idea anyway," Miera put in. "Can you imagine me wearing a veil and walking down the aisle?" She laughed, and the other two joined in soon after. 

Once they had sobered, Aeris said, "I also wanted to ask, if Sephiroth was still here...?" 

Miera nodded. "Yes, he is. I believe he has been waiting for you two." 

"Waiting for us?" Aeris wondered. She turned to Vincent. "Do you know anything about this?" 

"Yes," he answered curtly. 

The Cetra frowned, but she sensed that she would not get any more of an answer out of him. "All right." 

"It seems to be getting late," Nanaki commented. "If you want to sleep, we have room enough for you here, although I suppose you might prefer the inn. There should be a free room for you there." 

"Thank you," Aeris said, smiling, "but I'm not that tired yet. I think I'd like to go down to the Candle for a while. If anyone wants to join me, they're quite welcome." Despite her offer, the others all seemed to sense that she wanted some time to herself, and no one accepted the invitation. 

The Cetra turned, made her way through the semi-darkness of dusk to the bonfire, and seated herself within its light. With how much the town had grown, it surprised her that there was no one else there, but she certainly appreciated having it all to herself. At last, she had a moment to herself, and she could let down her guard--so long as she ignored the obscure darkness beyond the fire's light. 

She could remember clearly the last time she had sat by this fire. Her friends had all been there with her, but nevertheless she had felt more alone than usual. Learning more about the Cetra from the Elders had only made her more aware of her separateness. But then Cloud had come over, hesitantly, to talk to her. He had slipped a little in choosing his words, and that was when his feelings had become apparent to her. At first she had felt relieved to know that it was not an unrequited love, but then she had seen Tifa through the flames. Even had she lived, she realized, the tension between the three of them would have been just as strong. 

Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sephiroth sit down near her, and she froze. 

Cautiously, she turned her head to look at him. For a long time he did not seem to notice her, but at length he turned towards her, his steely blue-green gaze meeting hers. 

She shuddered involuntarily, her gaze snapping back to the bonfire. A part of her panicked, and she desperately wanted to look around to see if anyone else was nearby. She did not want to be alone with Sephiroth. Oh, gods, she did not want to be alone with him, not when she could still remember the sharp pain of the Masamune lancing through-- 

_Stop it_, Aeris told herself sharply. _He's not the same man anymore._ She glanced at him experimentally, wondering if she ought to try speaking to him. "What are you thinking about?" she asked. 

The swordsman looked at her again, briefly, seeming surprised that she would want to talk to him. He looked back into the flames without answering. 

_Well, that was useful_, she sighed. _He doesn't want to talk to you either._

She decided to try ignoring him instead, and so she turned her attention back to the flames, concentrating on the warmth that flickered across her face. Without the others, she felt as lonely as she had on her last visit. She would have to visit each of them, she decided, to see how they were doing and to let them know she was alive. And, maybe, to find a place where she could stay. 

Cosmo Canyon was a nice enough town, she considered. The canyon was beautiful in its own right, the people were amicable, and she had a friend here for whom she was not a complication. Still, she felt that she needed someplace less exotic, somewhere with good earth where she could grow a garden. Flowers had never failed to cheer her up. 

So where then would she go? 

She could not help but glance at her silent companion and wonder if he was pondering the same dilemma. She supposed he had different reasons to ask himself that question; few people would welcome him after what he had done. Aeris frowned; she'd like to think that she was one of those few. 

She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them and trying to work up the courage to speak again. Maybe, if she offered up something of her own, he would be more willing to confide in her. "...being here brings back so many memories," she managed at last. "We passed through here, I remember, and that night, everyone was gathered around this flame. And Cloud..." She trailed off, unable to continue, and slowly rocked herself back and forth. 

Sephiroth glanced at her again. "You love each other, yes?" he asked, surprising her with the question. 

She nodded wordlessly, and she sensed that he had another question in mind. "He's married now," she explained quietly. "To Tifa." Her rocking ceased. "...I don't suppose you'd know what it's like." 

"No," he answered. "I've never felt that, and I doubt I ever will." 

At this, Aeris straightened and turned towards him. "Of course you will," she told him. "You've got a good soul; I can feel it. It's just that your past overshadows it. But, someday, someone's going to see through that." 

Sephiroth laughed, of all things. "How optimistic of you," he remarked. 

"What makes you so different from the rest of us?" she demanded. 

There was a lengthy silence before he finally spoke again. "When I was a child, in the Shinra mansion... I don't know what you remember from that time, but you should know that I wasn't innocent, even then. I was always trying to come up with some clever way to trick those around me." 

She studied him hopefully. "You mean, you remember now?" 

"Not everything," he replied, "but I do remember you." 

She smiled. "I'm glad." 

"What do you mean, you're glad?" he asked sharply. 

"Well... it's been twenty years since I've seen this you. When we met again five years ago, I knew that you had forgotten. Actually, I almost managed to convince myself that you were a different person. You certainly were no longer the boy that I remembered." She moved closer to him, brushing his bangs out of his face. "You _were_ innocent back then," she told him. "I do remember that." 

Slowly, he pushed her hand away from his face and looked away. "Strange, isn't it? How we, supposedly of the same blood, turned out to be complete opposites." 

"I wouldn't say that," Aeris said, feeling a strange sort of disappointment. She lowered her hand to her lap. 

"Why not?" he countered, meeting her gaze again, his eyes almost emerald in the firelight. "I tried to destroy the world to become a god, and you sacrificed your life to save it." 

"If you had had your sanity, you would have been on our side, trying to save the Planet." 

"What makes you so certain? I worked for Shinra, didn't I?" 

"Yes, but..." Aeris faltered and dropped her gaze, frowning. "Oh, I don't know." 

"Tell me something," he said. "Why are you talking to me like this? You can't have forgotten the pain I caused you." 

She could not stop herself from flinching at the reminder. "Actually," she confessed, "it's better when you talk. When you don't say anything, my mind keeps going back to that moment, and then I get scared... But you know, I once considered you a friend. I'd like to think that... that we could be friends again, although I realize that I've never known you very well." 

Sephiroth frowned at her pensively, as though unable to understand _why_, however hard he tried. At length he shook his head slowly. "I don't even know myself. For you to try would be quite pointless." 

"It's not pointless," she said. "I already know a little about you. In some ways, you're a lot like Vincent. You have a heavy conscience, and you don't think very highly of yourself, and yet you're far kinder than you give yourself credit for. Unlike him, however, I think you really want to change. You want to protect people, but you don't know quite how to go about doing it." 

"All that, from this brief encounter?" he managed. 

Aeris smiled. "You forget, I was watching you." 

He looked away. "And yet, it seems you've missed my darker side somehow." 

"Whatever darker side you had is gone," she stated. "I'm quite sure of that. You're just as human as anyone else, Sephiroth, and I hope someday that you'll stop trying to hide it." 

"Just as human...?" he echoed. "Aeris, I am--" 

"No, don't start with that," she interrupted. "Both of your parents were human. So when you think about it, you're really more human than I am." 

He shook his head, unconvinced. "The Cetra were the ancestors to humans. Jenova was... an alien thing, a sentient virus. What does that make me?" 

"Whatever you want to be," Aeris answered. 

Sephiroth stared at her for a long moment, and then turned back to the fire, saying nothing. 

The Cetra watched him quietly, content that she had gotten through. But slowly the shadows caught her attention, and she looked around, noticing once more that she was alone with Sephiroth, her murderer. She could remember how his blade had felt stabbing thr-- 

"Did you talk to Elena?" she asked abruptly, trying to stop her mind from replaying her death. 

"Yes," he answered, guarded again. 

"...are you going to revive Tseng?" she prompted. 

The swordsman lowered his head. "If I can." 

"What do you mean, 'if you can'? You revived me, didn't you?" she asked, though she knew the differences quite well. 

"Tseng was human. If his soul no longer exists as it once did, then there is no bringing him back." 

"Did you tell Elena that?" 

He shook his head. "I told her I would try." 

"I hope that you succeed. It wouldn't be fair to get her hopes up, only to fail." She faltered, realizing that that sounded a little harsh, but she did not know what else to say. 

"Elena said that Tseng was a friend of yours, too," the swordsman remarked, glancing at her sidelong. 

"Sort of. I mean, we were before he became a Turk, but afterwards, it was always awkward between us, although he never seemed to take his orders about capturing me very seriously." 

"It seems there are a lot of people who care about you," Sephiroth said carefully, not looking at her. "Considering your empathy, it does not surprise me." 

Aeris peered at him uncertainly. "What are you getting at?" 

He lifted his head ever-so-slightly, seeming to watch her out of the corner of his eye. "Don't be careless, like you were before. I know it was my fault, but..." 

"I understand," she cut in, though she wasn't certain what had brought this on. "Maybe if I hadn't run off on my own, I wouldn't have died." She shook her head, sighing. "You may be right, but all the same, I don't want to be baby-sat all the time." 

Sephiroth said nothing further, and she could not make out his expression. 

"I should be getting some sleep," she said at length. "I... still haven't recovered fully." She climbed to her feet, still watching him for some sort of response. "It's been nice talking to you, and I do mean that." 

The barest of nods. "Good night." 

"Good night," she replied, hesitantly going down the few steps from the Candle. She paused at the bottom and looked back. "Sephiroth?" She waited for him to look at her, so that she could meet his gaze. "I forgive you. For killing me, I mean." 

He started and opened his mouth to speak, but she knew what he was going to say, and she would not let him. 

"And I want to thank you again for bringing me back," Aeris went on. "I know you didn't have to." This time, surely, he would say something. 

Sephiroth broke her gaze, looking down. "I should not have killed you in the first place. Your soul is too kind." 

She offered him a smile. "Yours is, too," she told him. "It's just a little battered, that's all." 

"I..." he began, and she expected him to deny it, but he stopped and shook his head. "Thank you." 

"No need," she replied. "Now, good night again, and sweet dreams." 

He nodded, and she left the Candle satisfied. 

At the inn, she found that Elena had rented a room for the both of them, and she entered it gratefully, feeling that some weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She had liked speaking with Sephiroth, but nevertheless every moment she had had to quell her fear and stifle that one vivid memory. 

Elena was already asleep in one bed, snoring softly, and Aeris took the other. Changing into the nightgown Tifa had bought for her, she lay back atop the covers to think. 

As a Cetra, she ought to be able to help with Sephiroth's mission. She could never have matched the power of his black magic, but his healing magic... Could she, too, bring back the dead? Maybe, just maybe, she could. She supposed she could try with Lucrecia; the cave in which her body lay wasn't _too_ far from Cosmo Canyon, but she doubted they would be headed there. 

Bringing back Lucrecia might bring Sephiroth something that he had always lacked, she considered, but it would do more good for Vincent. Torn though he was between self-hate and the knowledge that Lucrecia had loved him, Vincent would eventually sort things out for himself, and probably not for the better. Aeris tried as best she could, but her words meant less to him than Lucrecia's. However, if she could bring Lucrecia back, he wouldn't have quite so many reasons to hate himself, would he? 

Aeris turned over on her side, frowning thoughtfully. Sephiroth had warned her against taking such trips on her own, but nevertheless she did not want to give either Vincent or the swordsman false hope. If she brought one of them with her and failed to revive Lucrecia, it certainly would not do either of them any good. 

Her gaze wandered to Elena. Although not nearly as experienced as Reno or Rude, the woman _had_ been a Turk, and she was certainly stronger than Aeris. If Elena consented, she decided, then she would go that night. 

Aeris closed her eyes tiredly. First, though, she would get some sleep. There was no use in going with such fatigue if she was going to attempt something like this. 

_Just wait a little longer, Vincent_, she thought. _We'll make a human out of you yet. _

But then, what's so wonderful about humanity that everyone wants a piece of it? Hojo, President Shinra, and Rufus were all human, and both Vincent and Sephiroth are so much kinder than they ever were. Humanity is overrated. It's the soul, not the body, that makes us who we are.

* * *

Sitting down at the cliff's edge near the observatory, Vincent studied the village below with a vague sense of nostalgia. He had been here once with Cloud's group, when Shinra's failure to destroy Meteor had left them all at a loss for solutions. They had spoken mostly of Aeris, trying to figure out why she had chosen to face Sephiroth as she had. 

He could see her now, sitting with Sephiroth by the Candle, and he had to admire her resolve. She must have felt terrified, alone with him, but even when she had no obligation to stay, she did not run. Vincent wished he had even a fraction of that courage. 

"Hey, Valentine," Talya greeted from behind him. 

Although he had not heard her voice in years, he barely even glanced at her. He returned his gaze to the Candle, more interested in wondering what the two below were talking about. Was Aeris trying, as she had with Vincent, to instill the swordsman with some sense of self-worth? 

Talya sat down beside him. "As talkative as ever, I see," she remarked dryly. 

"You haven't changed much either," he replied without looking at her. 

"It's been a while, huh?" 

"Yes, it has." 

"I heard you went out and saved the world five years ago. Congrats." 

Vincent shook his head. "I only did it for revenge, Talya. That does not merit any appreciation." 

"I've found that most people don't care about your reasons. If you do a good thing, they'll thank you for it, and if you do a bad thing, they'll hate you for it. It doesn't matter if you did the good thing for the wrong reasons, or the bad thing with good intentions." 

He did not reply. 

"Hey, all I'm saying is that it's a lot more commendable than anything I've ever done. That's something, isn't it?" 

"And what have you been doing?" Vincent asked, glancing at her pointedly. "I heard you were assigned to watch Sephiroth." 

"That was _years_ ago," she said. After a moment she sighed and added regretfully, "So long that he doesn't trust me anymore." 

"He has his reasons. Most people don't trust Turks anyway." 

"Guess not," Talya laughed, but the laugh was bitter; something was bothering her. 

Vincent stood, not in any mood to deal with her problems. He had not known her well before, and certainly not now. "Perhaps if you told him the truth, he would listen," he told her in parting. Not waiting for a reply, he moved on to find a new place to think.

* * *

Author's Notes  
And this is pretty much the last of the Aeris/Vincent scenes, except for one I threw in near the end of the fic as a way to balance these out and bring some closure. Here we also get a second Aeris/Sephiroth scene. Originally, Sephiroth _did_ offer up his thoughts when Aeris asked, but I decided that wasn't like him, and I didn't much like the ensuing conversation either, so I cut that part out. In the first one, this was also where Aeris realized she'd known Sephiroth as a child. I think it's more interesting this way, having her remember it all along. 


	12. The Same as Me

**Chapter 11: The Same as Me**

Awakening from a dreamless sleep, Aeris opened her eyes and found herself in complete darkness. She sat up slowly, feeling about for her boots and pulling them back on. Then she went to the door, opened it a crack, and peered down the hall to see if there was any light peeking through the cracks in the entry door. She ducked back into the room with a smile. _Good_, she thought. _It's still night._

The Cetra walked over to where her companion lay sleeping. "Elena," she said quietly. "Elena, wake up." 

The Turk only mumbled softly and rolled over. 

"Wake up," Aeris repeated, shaking her by the shoulders. 

This produced more incoherent mutterings, but these sounded more like protests, and at length Elena managed, "I'm up, I'm up." She rolled onto her back and looked blearily up at Aeris. "What d'ya want?" 

"I... I have a favor to ask of you," Aeris said, keeping her voice low. 

Elena sat up, stifling a yawn and regarding her uncertainly. "Why're you being so formal all of a sudden?" 

"Because it could be dangerous." 

"No big deal," the Turk said dismissively. "So what is it?" 

The Cetra hesitated. "I want to revive Lucrecia." 

"Lucrecia," Elena repeated as though trying to place the name. "Hmm... Oh! Wasn't she one of the scientists who worked on the Jenova Project?" 

"Yes, and she's also the woman Vincent was in love with, and still is." 

"But I thought she was Hojo's wife," Elena said tiredly. "And Sephiroth was their son. I read about it in our files." 

"It was a love triangle," Aeris explained. "And Lucrecia... didn't make the best of choices." 

"So what do you want to bring her back for?" 

"Vincent needs her. I've told him he needs to move on, but I'm not sure he can. If he was able, he would have done so years ago, after Meteor, but he didn't." She paused and added, "And I'm sure it would do Sephiroth some good to know his real mother." 

"All right," Elena said, appearing more awake now. "So what does this have to do with me?" 

"I want you to come with me." 

"You couldn't ask Vincent or something?" 

Aeris shook her head. "If I can't bring her back... I don't want to get his hopes up for nothing." 

"What about, uh, Nanaki?" 

"I doubt he'll be willing to leave the canyon with Sephiroth here. I don't think Nanaki trusts him yet." 

"I can't blame him," Elena muttered. She got to her feet. "So, I'm your bodyguard by default, huh?" 

"If you want to put it that way." 

The Turk only shrugged. "No hard feelings. I know I'm not as strong as the others, but I'll do my best. Where're we headed?" 

"You know the mountains just to the north of the river? There's a lake in the midst of them, and a waterfall cave. That's where Lucrecia's body is." 

"That's not exactly close by," Elena remarked. 

"I know, but it should only take a few hours if we go by chocobo." 

"All right. I guess we should get going then." 

The Cetra smiled. "Thank you." She waited while Elena readied herself, and then they stepped out of the inn together. The Candle outside was deserted, to Aeris's relief, and no one was nearby; the village was asleep. 

They crept past the gatekeeper, trying not to wake him where he lay sleeping by the stairs. At the bottom of the steps was the chocobo that Sephiroth and Katrina must have used to get here. It noticed their approach and lifted its head expectantly. 

"Have you been fed recently, hmm?" Aeris murmured, stroking its neck. She pulled out some Gyshal greens that she had bought in Costa del Sol and offered them to it. The bird warked softly, seeming to understand their need for silence, and ate the greens from her hand. Once it had finished, Aeris glanced back at Elena. "It looks like we can get a ride." 

"Whose chocobo is this anyway?" 

"I'm pretty sure it's one of Cloud's," Aeris answered as she climbed up onto the chocobo's back. "He certainly won't mind." 

Elena hesitated, then climbed up behind her, and Aeris spurred the chocobo forward. They sped northward through the canyon, the bird finding the rough terrain no obstacle. Sure enough, within a few hours they were descending the rocky slopes of the mountains to the lake. Aeris reigned in the chocobo just outside it, and they dismounted. Giving the bird a quick scratch behind the ear, Aeris turned for the waterfall. Elena followed her, and they slipped behind the cascading water and into the cave. 

Inside, the rush of water faded, and silence reigned, interrupted only by the muffled sound of their footsteps on the crystalline floor. They made their way down the hall, and the passageway opened up into a huge cavern whose farthest recesses could not even be made out. The smooth floor, however, only extended a little ways into this, and at its edge was the dimly glowing altar, and Lucrecia's supine figure. 

Elena hung back, but Aeris walked to her slowly and knelt down beside her still form. Lucrecia's face might well have been made of porcelain for all the color it retained, but it was indeed as beautiful as it had been in Vincent's dreams. 

Sighing, Aeris wondered how exactly to begin. What had Sephiroth done...? She hesitated, then took up one of Lucrecia's lifeless hands and held it in her own. She closed her eyes and searched. 

Thousands, no, millions of souls roamed the Lifestream. The most difficult part of reviving Lucrecia could easily be finding her amidst this chaos. It helped, a little, that Aeris had roamed these paths herself; she recalled something of that formless existence. If only there was some easy way to distinguish Lucrecia's soul, some mark that would set her apart. 

_Jenova_, she realized. _Lucrecia would carry Jenova with her._ She remembered how Sephiroth's soul had felt, and she searched for something akin to that. A few long minutes, and Aeris had found her. 

_Lucrecia_, she called through the Lifestream. _Come back to us..._

But rather than eager, Lucrecia's soul seemed anxious. _Wait_, she said urgently. _I know what you are trying to do, and I am grateful, but do not waste your energy just yet. I... sense something. Someone is here, besides the two of you._

Aeris gave a start and came back to herself. She rose to her feet and looked around uncertainly. 

"What's wrong?" Elena asked. 

"There's someone else here." 

The Turk tensed and looked around also. Finding nothing, she headed for the exit, and Aeris followed uncertainly. 

"Strange place for a couple of gals to be at midnight," a woman greeted as they stepped out from behind the waterfall.

* * *

_Sephiroth made his way carefully down the spiral staircase into the basement, dreading his visit with the Professor but long past balking. When he reached the bottom, however, he came to a stop. That same girl sat huddled against the stone wall not far ahead of him, muffled sobs racking her tiny body. Every now and then a sniffle or a hiccup escaped her. _

The boy faltered. Something, an instinct that until now had lain dormant, was telling him to comfort her, but he had not the slightest idea how. He had never spoken to one so young before. 

Hesitantly, he walked over and knelt down in front of her. "Are you all right?" he asked softly so that the Professor would not hear him through the laboratory door. 

The girl looked up, sniffling. "Who're you?" 

"Sephiroth," he answered. "You... your name is Aeris, right?" 

She nodded dumbly, wiping at her eyes with her small hands. "How"--hiccup--"d'you know?" 

"Talya told me." 

"You know 'er, too?" 

He nodded, and then repeated, "Are you all right?" 

Aeris glanced towards the laboratory door. "I'm okay, but my mommy..." She stopped, glancing back at Sephiroth uncertainly. There was something strange about her eyes, he noticed. They were just a little too green, or too bright, but it was far more subtle than a Mako glow. 

"Go on," he said slowly. 

"She's in that room," Aeris continued hesitantly. "And she's all..."--she fumbled for the word--"not happy when she comes out. I dunno what's wrong." 

"She'll be all right," Sephiroth assured her, though he really had no idea whether the Professor would work with this girl's mother or not. "The Professor's probably just... studying her. She doesn't like it, but she'll be fine." 

The girl nodded, mollified. "Why do you have grey hair?" she asked suddenly. "And why do your eyes change?" 

She had noticed his eyes? He must have let his guard down. "I'm just a little different from most people," he answered carefully. "An experiment..." 

"You dun sound_ diff'rent," Aeris said quickly, apparently feeling she had said something to offend him. "You're just diff'rent on th' outside." _

He regarded her uncertainly. Could she be...? No, that was something only in fantasy books. Still, there was indeed something very mysterious about her. "Do you really think so?" he managed at last. 

"Yeah," she confirmed, nodding emphatically. "You're really nice." 

This was enough to make him smile. "Thank you." 

Aeris glanced down the hall again, then looked back at him. "...why're we here, Seph?" 

"Because we're different somehow," he said. "You... you're special. You're different in a good way." 

"An' what about you?" 

He looked away, not sure he wanted her to know. But then, would she really think any less of him if she knew what he was? And why did he care what she thought anyway? "I'm..." 

"...the same as me," she finished for him, smiling with an understanding far beyond her four years. 

He stared at her silently for a moment, then smiled back very slightly. Then he glanced down the hall and got to his feet. "I should go before the Professor sees us together. Normally, he calls for me around now, and I thought he'd forgotten, but, I guess..." He trailed off, realizing he didn't need to explain anything. "Well, goodbye." 

"Bye, Seph," Aeris replied, sounding disappointed. 

Offering an apologetic smile, Sephiroth turned to go back up the stairs. He glanced back at her over his shoulder. Maybe such things could exist outside of books, he thought. Maybe, she really could be an empath.

* * *

The voice belonged to a brown-haired woman in her thirties whom Elena did not recognize--well, she supposed she might have been a redhead, but after meeting Reno, Elena was hard-pressed to call anyone else a redhead. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," the woman said, grinning at their astonishment. "Did I forget to tell you I was following you?" 

"But how...?" Aeris wondered, seeming to recognize her. 

"...did I get here so fast?" Talya finished. She shrugged and took a step closer, spreading her hands. "Can't really tell you, sorry." 

"What do you want?" the Cetra demanded. 

"I wish I could say I just wanted the company of you two ladies, but I'm afraid that's not the case." She put a hand on the gun at her waist. "However, I do prefer a fair fight." She nodded to Elena. "How 'bout it? Turk against Turk?" 

The blond frowned at her, as though new scrutiny would make the woman at all familiar. "You were a Turk?" 

"It was a long time ago, but still, I'm insulted you never bothered to look at my file. Then again, I guess my existence was sort of overshadowed by your pal Valentine, 'greatest Turk ever.'" 

"You mean... you were around during Vincent's time?" Elena asked incredulously. 

"Yeah, I was. So? Do you accept, or does the Ancient have to fight me instead?" 

She glanced at Aeris, who, despite her weakness, still stood defiant, a hand on the Quicksilver tucked into her waistband. The Turk stepped in front of her, meeting this woman's gaze. "Go get help," she said over her shoulder. "I'll fight." 

"Good," the woman grinned. "Now we'll see how well they taught you." 

Elena glowered at her, deciding not to mention that she hadn't gotten the chance to complete her training. 

"Are you sure about this?" Aeris asked anxiously from behind her. 

"Just go. I've run from battles before, but this time I'm standing my ground." 

"All right," the Cetra said, but she hesitated; the chocobo stood some paces behind their enemy. 

The woman seemed to notice this, and she fetched the bird, urging it forward until Aeris could grasp its reigns. Soon she was astride it and heeling it to a run. Elena watched her disappear up the mountainside, then turned to look at her opponent. 

"Might as well introduce ourselves before we get going," the woman said. "Never know when the information might come in handy, eh?" 

Elena only blinked at her. 

She shrugged. "I always like to know who it is I'm killing anyway." She made a mock bow. "The name's Talya Keagan. Became a Turk in '15, same as Valentine." 

"...Elena. I got promoted in '47, about a month before Meteor hit." 

"Ouch," Talya remarked. "Musta felt kinda odd to be the last Turk, huh? Got to watch the company crumble, didja?" 

"Let's just get this over with." 

"I wouldn't be so eager if I were you. At least you get to live a few minutes longer by chatting with me." When Elena did not respond, she shrugged. "Oh well. Suit yourself. Now, to tell you the truth, I've never liked gunfights. Hand-to-hand combat's a lot more satisfying, don't you agree?" 

"Like you'd follow the rules," Elena snorted. 

Talya shook her head. "I figured you'd say that. But, you know, I'm willing to go out on a limb here. You good guys always love to be fair, especially to poor, misguided bad guys like myself. So, if I throw my gun aside like so"--Talya hurled her gun into the lake and held her empty hands outstretched--"you'll do the same." 

The blond found herself, amazingly, at a loss for words. With a moment's hesitation, she tossed her gun behind her into the cave. 

"All right then," Talya said, putting up her fists. "Let's see what you've got." 

Elena hesitated no longer and charged for her opponent. Fist-fighting wasn't really her strong point, but she guessed it was better than a gun fight; without a doubt, Talya had to be a better marksman than she was. 

Despite her obvious lack of skill, Elena managed to hold her own against the ex-Turk for a while--but only for a while. Eventually Talya got a solid punch to her jaw, and she couldn't recover fast enough. A sharp kick to her side made her stumble, and another punch sent her sprawling. It didn't even register that she had fallen until Talya shoved her onto her stomach and suddenly the ground was in her face. She started to push herself up, but a heavy boot slammed down into the small of her back. A sharp cry escaped her, and inwardly she cursed at her weakness. 

"Is that all you've got?" Talya sneered. 

Elena writhed beneath the woman's foot, trying to gain something, anything, but Talya only ground her heel further into her back. 

"Wouldn't Tseng be proud, seeing you like this. Defeated in a mere minute by an old-age Turk. Surely there've been some improvements--or is this all you have to show?" 

Growling in rage, Elena pushed and twisted with all her strength, ignoring the pain and finally managing to throw Talya off balance. She leapt to her feet and whirled around to kick her opponent hard in the face. Talya hit the ground hard, but she had only lost her balance, not her wits, and her leg swung around to trip Elena. For a moment they grappled on the ground, scrabbling for the upper hand. 

Rolling atop Talya, Elena managed to get her hands around the woman's neck, but she hesitated. She had never killed anyone with her bare hands before; she hadn't been a Turk long enough to receive any of the more unsavory assignments. At the same time she realized that beneath her was a woman who had become a Turk thirty-seven years ago, certainly not a stranger to killing, and yet... Talya could have simply shot her when this all began and gotten her out of the way that easily, but she hadn't. 

"Well?" Talya asked, noticing the hesitation but not using it to her advantage. "Aren'tcha gonna kill me? You do know it takes more pressure than that, don't you?" 

Elena did not tighten her grip, but nor did she remove her hands. "You could have easily killed me before. Why didn't you?" 

"What, you gotta have reasons? Maybe I just wanted a good sparring match. But you know, you can't have one of those without both of us being serious." 

"I don't want to kill you," Elena said slowly, releasing her grip and carefully sitting up, "and I don't think you're that serious about this either." 

Talya sat up, too, raising her eyebrows. "Oh, so we've got a Turk who doesn't want to kill people? What's the world coming to?" 

"I think you're just stalling. You're not as bad as you think you are." 

The ex-Turk shook her head. "Another common good-guy trait: always trying to find some good in the bad guys so they can 'turn them back to the good side.' Not gonna work, kid. You've got nothing to work with here; I just like to have fun while I'm being bad." 

"I don't believe you," Elena said, folding her arms and meeting Talya's gaze steadily. 

The woman shrugged. "Too bad for you then." 

With that, she leapt to her feet and kicked Elena back in one fluid motion. The blond managed to roll out of the way before Talya could pin her down, and then she scrambled to her feet, putting up her arms in time to block a punch. She found that she could do little more than guard; Talya's fists were coming almost too fast for her to keep up with. She twisted quickly sideways and kicked the woman instead, but the blow did not faze Talya, and she grabbed Elena's foot, throwing her off balance. 

She landed hard at the lake's edge, and a sharp kick-shove sent her into the water. She came up spluttering, her feet searching for the lake bed and finding none; she realized then that this lake was in a steep crater, and the water was impossibly deep. She grasped at the crater's edge to pull herself out, but Talya, crouching on the shore, took a fistful of her hair and shoved her under the water's surface. 

Unprepared for the plunge, Elena let most of her air escape and swallowed a huge gulp of water. She thrashed her arms wildly, trying to make Talya release her or to get her head above water just for a moment or--something! She didn't want to die here! 

Gods, if only Reno and Rude were here, they would kill Talya and save her pathetic ass, and-- 

No. She couldn't rely on them. Grabbing hold of Talya's restraining arm, Elena found the crater's wall with her feet and pushed backwards, bringing her opponent crashing into the water on top of her. The ex-Turk had not been expecting this, and she released her grip, letting Elena get her head into the air and gasp down precious oxygen. She found the shore and floated at its edge for a moment, coughing up water. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Talya pull herself up out of the lake, but her limbs did not respond to her mind's sudden urgency. She did not, however, find herself suddenly submerged again. 

The ex-Turk crouched down in front of her, sodden wet. "Well," she said with a half-grin, "I guess you put up a pretty decent fight considering you were only a Turk for a month or so. But even so, you're not really worth the effort." She kicked Elena away from the shore and turned away. 

"Wait!" Elena spluttered, having a hard time making her limbs move to keep herself afloat. "I'm not--!" 

"See if you can find my gun while you're down there," Talya said over her shoulder. Soon she was out of sight, and Elena had to concentrate on getting back to shore and out of the water. She hoped at the very least that she had bought Aeris some time.

* * *

Aeris spurred the chocobo faster, speeding south to Cosmo Canyon. She had to get help before Elena--she didn't even want to finish the thought. Talya would be able to beat her, she knew; it was how far the ex-Turk would take that victory that worried her. She had to hurry. 

Why hadn't she taken Sephiroth's words more to heart? Elena was a stronger fighter than she, but she was hardly an adequate protector when faced with someone like Talya. She should have taken Sephiroth, never mind his possible disappointment. If she had failed, then he could have tried. She shouldn't have tried to do this in secret. 

But no one had told her about Talya! Or had no one else known either? No, they must have known; that must have been why Sephiroth had warned her to be careful. That was why he had been waiting for them--for Vincent, really--to make some sense of her presence. Aeris didn't understand it herself. Why had she come to attack them? Hojo was dead, wasn't he? 

_Well, it doesn't matter now_, she told herself angrily. _You've made yet another stupid mistake, and this time it might not be you who dies._

"WARK!" her chocobo cried suddenly as it slammed into--what? It staggered wildly, trying to regain its balance and throwing Aeris in the process. 

Groaning half from pain and half from a frustrated anxiety, Aeris picked herself up and stepped forward, squinting into the darkness. There was nothing there. She reached out a hand and found that the air had hardened into a Wall spell. She stiffened and-- 

Was jerked backwards, cold steel to her throat. She didn't even have time to scream. A strong yet slender arm around her waist pinned her arms to her sides and her body against her captor's. She tried to twist her head to see who held her, but the blade did not allow for much movement. 

"It wouldn't be wise to struggle," murmured a woman's voice. Her captor pulled the gun from her waistband. "I don't want to have to hurt you, but that will not stop me from doing so." 

"Who--?" Aeris whispered. 

"You don't need to know," the woman replied icily. "Now, come." She withdrew the knife and roughly grasped the Cetra's arm, pulling her back to the chocobo, which had by now regained its senses and stood at a wary distance. 

At the sight of her captor, Aeris's breath caught in her throat. The woman seemed very young, actually, maybe not even twenty, and faint starlight glinted off her silver hair. She stood nearly a head taller than Aeris, slender in figure but walking with the same deadly grace as Sephiroth. 

Still holding the knife in her grasp, the girl stroked the chocobo's neck with the back of her hand, calming it. That done, she turned back to Aeris, her eyes glinting a cold blue-green. "Up," she ordered, jerking her towards the chocobo and then letting go her arm. 

Aeris did as she was bidden, not once taking her eyes off this silver-haired girl. 

"What?" her captor asked coolly, tucking the Quicksilver into her waistband. 

"You look like--" 

"I know," she cut in. "That surprises you?" 

"Yes," Aeris said uneasily. "At least tell me your name?" 

There was a pause. "...Minerva. You... your name is Aeris, is it not?" 

The Cetra nodded. 

Minerva hesitated. "Well. An awkward beginning, but a beginning all the same." That said, she pulled herself up behind Aeris and spurred the chocobo to a trot, heading back towards Lucrecia's cave.

* * *

_Aeris!_

Sephiroth's eyes snapped open and he sat up in bed, gaze darting about the room. Katrina was sleeping soundly. The door was closed. There was no one else in the room. Why, then, did he feel so uneasy? 

He dressed swiftly and stepped out into the hall, closing the door softly behind him. Hesitantly, he went to the room where Aeris and Elena were staying and opened the door a crack to peer inside. It was empty, the beds only slightly unkempt. He frowned. Where had they gone? 

Leaving the inn, he went next to the Candle. It was the middle of the night, but perhaps they had had trouble sleeping... the both of them? He found Vincent there by himself, and the ex-Turk glanced up questioningly at his approach. 

"Have you seen Aeris?" Sephiroth asked, his eyes scanning the village. 

"No," Vincent answered with some confusion. "Why do you ask?" 

The swordsman's frown deepened; he did not like this at all. "It feels like something is wrong, and she is not in her room. Where is Talya?" 

"...I don't know," the ex-Turk replied, slowly climbing to his feet. Even he looked worried. "I haven't seen either of them since evening." 

"This is... troublesome," Sephiroth murmured, trying not to show how anxious he truly felt. "If Aeris went off on her own, even with Elena to protect her, that would not be enough to keep her safe from Talya." 

"But where would they have gone in the dead of night?" 

He shook his head. "And without telling anyone..." He started for the gate, hoping to find some sign there. At the bottom of the steps, he found the chocobo gone, and fresh tracks led away northward. "What is north of here, besides Nibelheim?" he asked of Vincent, his gaze on the northern horizon. 

The ex-Turk was slow to answer. "Nothing, really. There is Lucrecia's cave, but..." 

"My mother's...?" 

"Her resting place." 

"You don't think... that Aeris would try to bring her back, do you?" 

"She might," came the hesitant reply. "And I suppose that would explain why she did not want us to know." 

Sephiroth looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?" 

"If she told us, and failed..." 

"I see," the swordsman said, looking away. "Well, come on then. If Talya has found them, then they are in trouble." Without waiting for a response, he started northward as fast as his legs would carry him. He heard Vincent following some paces behind, matching his speed. 

It was strange; despite the speed at which they travelled, time seemed to stretch out on a blade. All he knew was that Aeris was in danger, and yet just beyond that one fear, a thousand other thoughts came into his mind and left without being recorded in memory. 

He wondered several times if he had ever cared about anyone before. Here was this strong anxiety, and for a person whom he hardly knew. What did she matter to him? Only, she had forgiven him. Hells, she had even _thanked_ him for bringing her back to life. He did not understand her, could not understand why she risked her life for strangers or what compelled her to show such kindness to her murderer. 

Was that strange compassion what had compelled her to leave this night? If she was trying to revive Lucrecia, was she doing it for Vincent? Because he was her friend, or simply because he needed that kind of help? 

Something inside of Sephiroth hoped that she had thought of him, too, when making the decision, if only briefly. Lucrecia was his mother, and perhaps the only person who had ever loved him. It shamed him to admit it, but he wanted to meet his mother, to know what it felt like to be loved. 

By the time they reached the mountains surrounding Lucrecia's cave, dawn had lightened the eastern sky, though the sun had not yet climbed high enough to peer over the peaks opposite them. Sephiroth slowed as he started down the slope to the lake, searching for signs of life. He spotted Elena lying motionless by the shore, and wondered for an instant if she was dead. 

His pace quickened, though he did not realize it at first. When he did, he could not understand why he cared. He did not know this woman. She had merely approached him with fear in her eyes and a request to revive Tseng. As soon as she had gotten her answer, she had fled from his presence. What did he care what happened to her? 

Or was Aeris right? 

Upon reaching the bottom, he crouched down beside Elena and noticed with some relief that she was still breathing. She looked beaten up and bruised, but nothing was broken so far as he could tell. He shook her cautiously, trying to rouse her. 

With a groan, she moved a little and struggled to open her eyes. Meeting his gaze, she gave a start and sat up quickly, wincing as she did so. "What...?" she began, her voice sounding raw as from coughing. 

"You tell us," Sephiroth said. "What happened here? And where is Aeris?" 

"Aeris?" Elena wondered blearily. "She went back to get you..." 

Sephiroth exchanged glances with Vincent, then looked back at her. "What happened?" he repeated more urgently. 

"That woman... Talya? She followed us. I took her on to buy Aeris some time, but..." She trailed off, frowning worriedly as her mind cleared. She started to get to her feet, but grimaced and sat back. "Hey, um, can you... heal me?" 

"...I think so," he said. He laid a tentative hand on her arm and willed her injuries to heal. Mostly they were only harsh bruises, but she had collected a few sprains. 

"Thanks," she said when he had finished. 

He withdrew his hand and looked away on the pretense of inspecting the area. "What were you two doing here?" 

"Aeris wanted to revive... whatshername... Lucrecia." 

Vincent shifted, appearing almost hopeful in spite of his visible worry. "Did she succeed?" 

Elena shook her head and opened her mouth to explain further. 

"Nope," came Talya's voice from the direction of the waterfall. "Sorry, Valentine, but your girlfriend's still pretty dead." 

All three heads snapped to look at her. Sephiroth stood smoothly, his eyes narrowing, and Elena climbed to her feet, glaring at the ex-Turk from behind him. 

"Where is Aeris?" Sephiroth demanded coldly. 

"No need to worry about the Ancient," Talya replied, unfazed. "We've got her safe and sound in the cave." 

"We...?" he asked warily. 

She nodded. "Did you want to meet number 23?" 

The swordsman stiffened. "Whatever Hojo might think, people have _names_, Talya. Use them." 

"Whatever. Do you want to meet her?" 

He hesitated, then gave the briefest of nods. 

From behind the waterfall, out stepped a silver-haired girl whose eyes mirrored his own. For an instant, his composure abandoned him, and he stared openly. Who was she? Where had she come from? Why did she look so much like him? 

The girl broke his gaze to pull another out into the open. 

Aeris stumbled slightly, her hands bound by some invisible force. Her green eyes went over the group, showing some relief upon seeing Elena, but when she met Sephiroth's gaze, she could not hold it, and she dropped her head to stare at her feet. 

The silver-haired girl bent down to murmur something in her ear, and the Cetra glanced up again briefly. "I'm sorry," she nearly whispered. "I only wanted to..." Trailing off, she shook her head helplessly and looked to Talya. 

"Don't encourage her, Min," the ex-Turk said sharply to the silver-haired girl. 

"You let her go, Talya," Sephiroth ordered, Masamune coming to his hand with a mere thought. 

She looked back at him and held up her hands with a grin. "I'm not holding her, Seph." 

"You _know_ what I mean," he growled, eyes flashing a dangerous emerald. "Now let her go before my blade finds your throat." 

The silver-haired girl pulled a knife from her sleeve, jerked Aeris backwards, and put the blade to her neck. "Not a wise idea, Sephiroth," she said levelly, voice no louder than it had to be. "Now what do you say?" 

The swordsman fell silent, words failing him as anger ruled his mind. 

Vincent took a step forward, drawing his attention. "What do you want from us?" he asked of Talya. 

"Sephiroth," she answered simply. 

"What?" 

"I'm willing to make a trade," Talya continued amicably. "Unless, of course, you'd rather leave Aeris with us. But I've got a feeling you'd much prefer having her back." 

"If Sephiroth goes with you, you will let Aeris go free?" Vincent asked dubiously. 

"That's right." 

He shook his head, frowning. "I don't trust you." 

"I figured as much; Turks aren't trustworthy, right?" Talya surveyed the scene thoughtfully. "Well... If you don't agree to it, I guess we can just kill the girl. Don't really have much use for her anyway." 

The silver-haired girl glanced at her uncertainly, but she nodded minutely and pressed the blade closer against Aeris's throat. 

"I'll go," Sephiroth said quickly. "But let her go first." 

Talya shook her head. "You think I'm going to fall for that? Sure, you sound sincere, but I'm not believin' it. You come first, then we'll let her go." 

"And I'm supposed to trust you after all the times you've lied to me?" 

"Looks like this friendship of ours needs a little work," she remarked. "Ah, well. I guess we've got a stalemate. I don't really have much patience for those, so... if this lasts much longer, we'll just have to kill her." 

"You wouldn't," Sephiroth said urgently. 

"You're right," Talya agreed. "I wouldn't. But I'm sure Minerva wouldn't have any qualms about it. After all, she doesn't know either of you." 

The swordsman looked to the girl, trying to read her but having no success. He hovered for a moment on the brink of indecision, then took a step forward. 

"Sephiroth..." Vincent began meaningfully. 

He shook his head. "I have to. Look at the girl; she'd kill." 

Vincent followed his gaze and then sighed. "I suppose you are right." 

Sephiroth took another step forward, and Aeris looked up in alarm. 

"Sephiroth, wait," she said, and his step faltered. "Don't do this." 

"But she will kill you if I don't." 

Minerva lowered the knife slightly to allow Aeris more freedom to speak. Talya shot her a look, but she ignored it. 

"Listen," the Cetra continued, "you saw her hesitate; I don't think she would kill me. I can feel it." 

The swordsman frowned and took another step forward. "I won't risk you dying because of a mere feeling." 

"I'm not finished. Think for a minute: I'm the last of the Cetra. Do you really think Hojo would want me killed? Talya's bluffing." 

"I cannot let them take you to Hojo either," Sephiroth persisted stubbornly. He could not let her die again because of him, nor could he subject her to the torture that he remembered from his childhood. In many ways, he thought, being in the Professor's charge was worse than death. 

"Then come free me now. This girl won't kill me; they have nothing to bargain with." 

He faltered, still finding nothing in Minerva's eyes to assure him. She had it in her to kill, certainly, but whether or not she could kill Aeris was a different thing. 

Of course, _he_ had somehow found it in himself to kill her. 

He shook his head and continued forward, the Masamune disappearing from his grasp. 

"Sephiroth," Aeris begged, "please..." 

"No. I can't risk losing you." 

Desperate, she turned to the others. "Vincent--surely you understand?" 

Sephiroth glanced back at him, but the ex-Turk could only shake his head slowly. Although his face was expressionless, his eyes revealed his ambivalence. Lucrecia had asked him to look after her son, and yet, Aeris was something precious indeed. It seemed that even Vincent felt affected by her selflessness. 

"Touching, I'm sure," Talya remarked, sounding more than a little impatient. "Well? Are you going to trade yourself in for the Ancient? Her argument obviously isn't accomplishing anything." 

"If you are lying to me..." Sephiroth began in warning. 

"I'm not," she interrupted brusquely. "So get on with it. We'll let her go once Min's got you under control." 

"'Under control'?" he echoed. 

Talya shook her head, and something about her expression softened. "Please, Sephiroth," she said, sounding oddly regretful. "It's the most painless way." 

"Painless, my ass," Elena muttered. The others all turned to stare at her; it was the first thing she had said since Talya's arrival. Embarrassed, she ducked behind Vincent. 

Sephiroth shook his head and crossed the remaining distance to join Talya. He looked to Minerva questioningly, and suddenly he felt barriers closing in about him--not bonds, like Aeris's, but restrictive walls, cutting him off from... from what? He could no longer feel the Masamune, but he had lost something else, too, a power that he had not noticed until it was sealed off from him. 

"Come on," Talya said, turning to walk away. A flat neutrality had replaced her usual derisive tone. 

The swordsman glanced back and forth between her and Minerva. "What about--?" 

"Come _on_," she repeated more forcefully. "Before Minerva has to make you." 

He nodded in defeat and followed her, eyes on the ground, berating himself for making such a mistake as to trust Talya. 

"But..." came Minerva's voice from behind them. Both turned to look at her; she stood uncertainly, the knife half-lowered, her grip on Aeris loose. "It was a trade." 

Talya sighed in exasperation. "Min, of all the times to go on one of your 'fair' arguments, now is not one of them." 

The girl shook her head slowly, faltering between passive obedience and a right that she knew would be punished. At last she withdrew the knife and released Aeris, giving her a slight shove. 

The Cetra turned to study her former captor for a moment. She bowed her head in gratitude. "I thank you." Her gaze went apologetically to Sephiroth, and then she walked back to Vincent and Elena, looking down in shame. 

"That's gonna cost you, Min," Talya chided, shaking her head as she turned to walk on. 

Sephiroth followed silently, and the girl trailed after them. 

"I know, Mother," she said softly, "but I had to..."

* * *

Author's Notes  
I really like this chapter. It was one of my favorites in the original, and it's much improved since. The battle between Talya and Elena, for one thing, is a lot better. It could probably still use some work, but at the very least I no longer cringe when reading it. 

Also, more Minerva here. I'm not sure if anyone's ever noticed, but she practically repeats one of Sephiroth's lines verbatum. Ah, details, how I love them. 


	13. Reasons Why

**Chapter 12: Reasons Why**

Aeris watched the three figures disappear up the mountainside, not knowing quite what to feel. She owed her freedom to Sephiroth and that silver-haired girl, Minerva, whose decision to set her free would surely earn her severe punishment. 

Those three, they were all prisoners in some way or another, though what was holding Talya, she did not know, and what could have the power to hold Minerva in check, she had no idea. She could not hate them for taking Sephiroth away. She could not be angry at Sephiroth for refusing to listen to her. 

She could, however, feel guilty, because her carelessness had resulted in this mess. 

When they were out of sight, Elena slumped to the ground, shaking her head in disbelief. "Gods," she muttered, "just like that, the great Sephiroth..." 

Aeris sagged against Vincent. "He should have listened," she murmured, trying to voice her inner turmoil. "She wouldn't have killed me. She was uneasy... she..." 

"It's all right," Vincent interrupted softly. 

Aeris shook her head and turned to bury her face in his chest, feeling tears at her eyes and not wanting anyone to see. "I should have gone, not him. Who knows what Hojo's going to do to him...?" 

The ex-Turk shifted uncertainly and said nothing. 

"Funny," she went on as the thought occurred to her, "how I would trade in my life for the freedom of my killer..." She frowned. "But... I guess that was a different Sephiroth, wasn't it?" 

"We will find him again," Vincent assured her, cautiously putting his good arm around her and holding her close. 

Aeris held onto him more tightly, feeling a flood of worry, of shock, of some kind of betrayal. He had brought her back to life, and now she had brought an end to his freedom, just when he might have started using it for himself. What kind of gratitude was that? 

She sighed heavily and forced herself to draw back from Vincent. "Well," she said, quickly wiping away tears she did not recall shedding. She looked around the place with a sense of a forgotten purpose, and her eyes landed on the waterfall. Of course; she had come because of Lucrecia. 

"I guess I should do what I came to do," Aeris said slowly. _And apologize_, she added mentally, _for what happened to Sephiroth._

"You mean... bring back Lucrecia?" Vincent asked, almost hopefully. 

She nodded, managing a slight smile, and headed for the cave. Elena got to her feet and followed, and Vincent trailed after. 

Once back inside the crystalline cave, Aeris returned to Lucrecia's body and knelt down beside it. _Lucrecia_, she called into the Lifestream. 

_Aeris_, came the response soon enough, _I'm glad you're all right. _

I'm sorry. Sephiroth... he's... 

I know, and you shouldn't apologize. It was his decision to make, and I'm certain you'll find a way to free him. 

Aeris nodded. _I won't leave him with Hojo. _

You'll seek help from your friends, won't you? It took all of them to defeat Sephiroth; if Minerva is at all similar... 

The Cetra faltered. _I know, but... how many of them would be willing to help Sephiroth, of all people? Cloud certainly wouldn't, and without his support, the others wouldn't follow. _

You have more power to convince them than you think, Lucrecia told her. _Besides, they don't have to view it in the same light. To us, yes, this is about freeing Sephiroth. To them, though... it will be about killing Hojo for good... They will have to agree that Sephiroth in his possession is a dangerous thing._

Aeris was surprised to hear something like regret in her words. _It hurts you to speak of killing him, doesn't it? _

Yes, a little. But, I know he isn't the same man he once was. He's lost himself. Perhaps its best he returns to the Lifestream; it would cleanse him. 

"Aeris?" came Elena's voice. 

The Cetra looked up. "Yes?" 

"Oh, um, are you... casting the spell yet?" 

She shook her head. "No. Just talking first, about Sephiroth and how to rescue him." She hesitated. "I doubt you'd want to help, Elena, after what--" 

"No," Elena interrupted, "I'll go. I've gotta kick Talya's ass for what she did to me. And... even though he..." She faltered and started over. "Sephiroth was going to try reviving Tseng, and I guess he wanted to help a lot of other people, so it's only right I try to help him out, right?" 

Aeris smiled gratefully. "Thanks. That makes at least three of us, I suppose." 

"If you go through with this, you will be in no condition to fight," Vincent stated. 

Her smile faded and she looked down. "I guess that's true." 

"It is probably best you stay as far from Hojo as possible," he added. 

She nodded in reluctant agreement. "Let's just hope the others are willing to lend a hand. The two of you won't be able to do it on your own." 

"Cloud will help if you ask it of him," Vincent said quietly. 

"I know." She paused and looked back to Lucrecia. "Well, I ought to try my luck here so we can head back." 

"We'll be quiet," the ex-Turk said with a pointed look at Elena. 

"Right," the blond agreed. 

Aeris smiled and then closed her eyes, taking up Lucrecia's hand again. 

_You're certain about this?_ Lucrecia asked. 

_Yes. I want to bring you back. Vincent needs you. _

...then I thank you. 

With those words, consciousness faded from Lucrecia's soul, allowing Aeris to embrace and guide it as Sephiroth had done for her. It was disorienting to be so completely responsible for another soul. Lucrecia's memories lay just under the surface, at Aeris's fingertips, and it was hard _not_ to see them, to experience them as Lucrecia had. 

She could feel those final moments, lying on the inn's bed, powerless to move, barely retaining the strength to breathe. Her eyes were fixed on the door, wanting it to open but not expecting it to. Regret filled her in place of air, so that she nearly felt that she was choking on it. 

_Vincent, why aren't you coming back? I wanted to tell you..._

Aeris managed to pull herself away from that moment and shut her mind to the foreign memories that came to her so freely. She guided Lucrecia's soul back to her body and set to work with the binding spell, feeling her way through it blindly, recalling only a vague sense of how Sephiroth's weaves had felt upon her. It was hard to remember anything from that strange experience, but she sensed that she was managing. 

Energy was pouring out of her like water over a cliff, all going to the patching and reviving of Lucrecia, and just when she thought that she had finished, that energy failed her and her thoughts went with it.

* * *

The room beyond did not surprise him. Like the rest of this place, it appeared sterile and almost featureless. The walls were the same matte silver, the floor the same almost-white, both devoid of any decoration. There was a bed in the room, simple, functional, with white sheets and a rough beige blanket atop them. A nearby stool was the only other piece of furniture. The room had no windows, no vents, nothing to mar its ceilings save a few panels of florescent lighting, and only this one door, open and waiting. 

Sephiroth glanced at Minerva, who stood silently just to one side of it. She was certainly a mystery. He still did not really know who or what she was; she had called Talya 'mother,' but did that really mean anything? And how was she connected with him? Why was she, too, working for Hojo? 

She nodded towards the room, feigning impatience though it was obvious she did not care what he did. 

He took a step across the threshold, but then turned back to her. There was no one to hear them, no one to chide them for conversing, so he might as well say what he wanted. 

"Thank you for letting Aeris go." 

She shifted and looked off down the hall with a frown. "We said we would. I do not like going back on my word. Besides, Hojo will only send us after her, and now you cannot protect her." 

"What control could he possibly have over you?" 

Minerva looked back at him, but her blue-green eyes gave away nothing. "I should go. Talya will start to wonder." 

"...will I be seeing you again?" 

She shook her head to indicate that she did not know. "My room is next to yours," she told him, making a slight gesture, "so we will speak again at least." 

Sephiroth nodded and turned into the room. The door closed behind him and a soft click followed. He stood motionless by the door for a long moment, listening for footsteps and hearing none. At length he sighed and sat down on the bed, staring at his feet. There was nothing for him to do here but think and rest, and he was not tired in the least. 

Perhaps, he thought, he should have listened to Aeris. It seemed she had been right about Minerva after all. Could it really have been so simple as snatching her from Minerva's grasp? But no, the girl had now cut off his connection to the Masamune and his other skills; in this isolated state, he was no match for her. Had he tried to fight her there by the lake, she would have beaten him, and then taking the both of them back to Hojo would not have been a breach of contract. 

Aeris had been right that Minerva would not kill her, but she had nevertheless underestimated the girl, or overestimated Sephiroth. 

He wondered if they would simply leave him here. If Aeris had been taken, then the rescue would have come swiftly without hesitation. But who would care that he had been captured? Vincent, he knew, would attempt something, but he acted on Lucrecia's behalf, not for Sephiroth directly. 

Would Aeris care? She had, after all, said that she wanted them to be friends again... 

A knock on the door disturbed his thoughts, and he sat up as Talya entered, the door sliding shut behind her. She grinned uncertainly, as though bracing herself for something. "Hi," she greeted. 

Sephiroth looked away without responding. He had nothing to say to her. 

"Sorry about all this. No hard feelings, right?" 

He shrugged. How could she even think something like that? 

"I know you hate me," she sighed, sitting down on the stool in front of him, "especially for telling Minerva not to let Aeris go. But she didn't listen, so the Ancient's safe and sound after all. You don't have to worry about her." She paused, waiting for a reply and getting none. "The least you could do is say something." 

He cast her a sidelong glance. "Don't tell me not to worry," he said sharply. "Hojo will want her, too, and you'll go soon enough." 

"There'll be somebody to stop us, won't there?" 

"Do you really think that Vincent alone can protect her?" 

"No, I guess not," she admitted reluctantly. 

A moment of silence fell between them. 

"So who is her father?" 

"Huh?" 

"Minerva. She called you her mother. I thought perhaps you would know." 

Talya shook her head. "Nah, Hojo never bothered to tell me." 

Sephiroth regarded her critically. "All right," he said at length. 

"For once you believe me!" she exclaimed, relief in her voice. "How come you can always tell when I'm lying?" 

The swordsman nearly grinned in spite of himself. "If I told you, then I wouldn't be able to lie to you, now would I?" 

"I dunno. It might be kinda nice if neither of us could lie to each other." 

"You know that isn't going to happen," he stated. 

"I know." 

Another pause. 

"How is Minerva... how is she cutting me off from my abilities?" 

"You're asking the wrong person," Talya replied with a shake of her head. "All I know is she's gotta maintain the spell 24/7." 

"Won't she tire of it?" he wondered. 

"I don't think it's really that complicated. Anyway, I'm not sure I've ever seen her sleep." 

Sephiroth frowned thoughtfully. He supposed he had only grown tired after reviving Aeris. Such a feat had taken a great deal of energy out of him. He was not even certain he had quite recovered yet. 

"So," he said at length, "did you come here for a reason, or did you just want to talk 'like old times'?" 

She ran a hand through her hair. "I only came to apologize. I don't like what Hojo has me doing, but there's not much I can do to fight it as long as Min's... well. Never mind that." She offered him a grin. "I'm all for escape attempts, though, so try your best, okay?" 

He could only shake his head in bemusement. 

Her face fell. "All right, well... I'd better go report and all that crap." She got to her feet and went to the door. "I'll visit when I can. You work on that escape plan while I'm gone." She left, and the door closed and locked behind her. 

The swordsman laid back and stared up at the ceiling. _Escape plan?_ he wondered. He supposed he could not let Hojo go through with his plans. Perhaps Sephiroth deserved this sort of punishment, but Hojo did not have the right to inflict it. 

_But you're his son. You're his creation, so of course you must go along with it. If his last major experiment produced you, just think how powerful the next product will be. Perhaps it will have the strength to ascend to godhood. Succeed where you failed._

Sephiroth sat bolt upright. _Get out of my head. You're no part of me. _

Of course I am. I am a part of you as surely as you are Hojo's son. 

That's a lie! It must be! 

Don't you believe Vincent? He would know best, wouldn't he? And certainly he had no motivation to lie. 

He shook his head slowly. _Perhaps Vincent is wrong. Hojo could have chosen the father. It would have made more sense to... _

He might as well have let Vincent have her, the voice disagreed. _Besides, you know what an egotistical bastard he is. He may well have fathered Minerva, too._

Sephiroth shuddered at the thought of it. _That's sick. _

Isn't it? But he's your father for certain. It makes you want to throw up, doesn't it? You want to rip him out of you? But you cannot deny your heritage. 

Even if he is my... I'm not like him. Aeris thinks so. She said... she said I had a good soul. 

The Cetra girl is wrong. Don't listen to her. 

What? he asked in startlement. 

_She doesn't know you. She doesn't want to believe that you're really as cruel as you are. That is why she said those things to you. _

She wouldn't... 

How can you be so sure? 

Sephiroth faltered, not wanting to believe this voice but unable to offer up any proof. _I... _

Don't let her convince you. Don't let her wrap you around her little finger and get you to do whatever she wants. I've seen what she has had her friends do in the past. She gets herself into so much trouble, and then expects them to get her out of it. Her false kindness is not worth that. 

But, it's... She's not... 

It would be best if you simply forgot her. 

I don't... 

You barely even know her, you can't deny that. Certainly she seems kind on the outside, but you have no idea what lurks behind that. I've seen her kind before; you do not want to get yourself entangled with her. 

Sephiroth shut his eyes against this voice with its unwelcome logic. _Please, leave me alone..._

* * *

Evening had fallen, and the muffled din of conversation made its way down the hall from the bar. Within this room, however, all were silent. Aeris slept on in one of the beds; she had fainted upon completing her task and not yet regained consciousness. For a time, this had worried Vincent, but now any concern for her had left his mind. 

Lucrecia had finally woken, and he could not tear his gaze away from her. He could hardly believe what had happened, but it could not be a dream, because his dreams were never anything more than torturous memories. 

"It's been a long time," she said tiredly. 

"And yet you're just as beautiful as you always were," he replied softly. 

She smiled and managed to sit up a little. She patted the mattress beside her. "Come sit down," she invited. He did as he was bidden, and she studied his face more closely. "You, on the other hand, have changed your appearance quite a bit. Darker, I must say. You're still handsome, of course, but I think I liked the old look better." 

"This suits me better now," he said, indicating his claw. 

"That wouldn't stand out so much if you dressed normally," she said. 

He shrugged slightly, and a short silence followed. It had been so long, and they had left so many things unsaid that neither knew quite where to begin. 

"You know," Lucrecia began thoughtfully, "I've always wondered... Why did you apologize when first we met?" 

"I'm not sure," he replied, calling the memory to mind. "'Sorry for existing'? 'Sorry for being who I am'? 'Sorry for everything that is going to happen to you because of me'?" 

She reached out to touch his hand. "But I'm glad I met you, Vincent." 

"...why?" he had to ask. 

She smiled ruefully. Was she sad that he did not know the reason? "Because you've always loved me," she offered in answer, but it did not stop there. "Because you listen. Because you've never questioned my beliefs. Because you're always so kind to me. Because you don't blame me for anything. Because you'd give up everything just to make me happy. Because I love you." 

He faltered, searching her eyes. "I... don't understand it. Kind? I always thought I was too cold, too cruel, too bloodstained to be worth falling in love with." 

"On the contrary, I've always found you fascinating. Whatever happened to you to make you close up like that? How is it that you have the strength to bear such a scar? Why did you open up to me and no one else?" 

Vincent shook his head. "I still... find it hard to believe." 

"You didn't used to question it so," she said sadly. "Surely you didn't think I was lying each time we kissed. Don't you remember what those days were like?" 

"Of course I remember," he said, "but I can't reconcile that with... Why did you choose Hojo?" 

Lucrecia sighed. "I suppose that's the real question. You know, Aeris wasn't far off." 

At this, he blinked a little. Had she been watching him from the Lifestream, like some guardian angel? If so, what else had she seen? 

"I had feelings for the both of you," she went on, "so when you asked me... I wasn't sure what to tell you. I know now, I should have said yes, but I let my mind try to force logic upon a matter that had nothing to do with logic. Why marry a Turk, I thought, when you can marry a fellow scientist who will understand your ideas and work on them alongside you?" 

She lowered her gaze, shaking her head. "It was stupid of me. Can you ever forgive me, Vincent?" 

He stared at her. "Forgive you?" he managed. "You never did anything wrong." 

A soft laugh escaped her, and she looked up at him. "Isn't it funny, how we each tell the other the same thing? Let's just forgive each other and let it be over with. There's no moving on until we do." 

"Then I forgive you, though I fail to see your error..." He hesitated. "Do you... _can_ you... forgive me?" 

She smiled. "Of course, Vincent, I forgive you, though I'm certain you did nothing at all." 

"It... feels good to hear that," he confessed quietly. 

"I'm glad," she said. "With that behind us, we can move on." 

"How?" he wondered, shaking his head. 

"Can't we pick up where we left off?" she asked, though by her voice she knew they couldn't. 

"Too much has changed, since then." 

"We still love each other. Isn't that what matters?" 

Vincent did not know how to reply. He stared down at her slender hand atop his. 

"If I had said yes... what would we have done? Haven't you ever wondered?" 

He hesitated. "I used to think about it. Before I asked, I mean. I suppose I was uncertain whether or not I ought even to ask. I wanted to think it through beforehand." 

"And what did you think it would be like?" she prompted, watching him with interest. 

"...I always thought, that we would not go back to Midgar, although did not see how that could work unless I quit Shinra, and Turks cannot quit. Still, I did not want to go back." 

Lucrecia nodded thoughtfully. "We wouldn't have to worry about that now." 

"I suppose not. But..." 

"Go on," she interrupted. "What would we do after leaving Shinra?" 

"I had not thought that you would leave," he continued quietly. "You liked your work, and if we stayed in Nibelheim, there was the lab there. Even after Gast and Hojo had gone, I thought, you could still work from there. I'd find other work in town, something less bloody. We'd... buy a house of our own; the mansion always seemed too big for us..." 

She had closed her eyes and there was a smile on her face. "It's not hard to imagine," she said. "It sounds lovely." 

Vincent shook his head. "It was nothing more than a fantasy." 

"It doesn't have to be," she said, reaching to twine her fingers with his. "Aeris has given us a second chance. Perhaps I wouldn't be working for Shinra, but we could still go back to Nibelheim. We could start a family of our own. I could actually have the chance to be a mother, as I wanted to be to Sephiroth." 

"But, I--" 

"Hush," Lucrecia said gently. "You'd do fine with children, and besides, it amuses me greatly to imagine you as the father of six." 

"Six?" he echoed in shock. 

"Why not? And Sephiroth could visit every now and then..." 

He shook his head slowly. "But Sephiroth is..." 

"I'm sure you'll be able to free him." 

Vincent frowned. "Cloud will not want to help. Neither will the others. They care nothing about Sephiroth." 

"They will help if you and Aeris ask it of them." 

"You mean, if Aeris asks. My words won't sway them." 

Lucrecia regarded him knowingly. "You might be surprised. Friends will do a lot of things for one another." 

"I only knew them for a few weeks," he stated. "I would not call them friends." 

"Friendships can spring up quickly," she persisted. "Maybe you won't call them friends, but I'm sure many of them think otherwise. You mean something to them, and I'm sure you care about them, too." 

"Lucrecia, we were as strangers. You know I can keep my distance." 

She hesitated, her face falling a little. "Then what about now?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, what about Aeris? You can't say she means nothing to you." 

Vincent looked away with a frown. "Yes, I suppose I do care about her." 

"She got through to you, didn't she? You listened." 

"She reminds me of you, a little," he admitted, still not meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry." 

"There's nothing wrong with that," Lucrecia told him. She sounded as though she were smiling. "In fact, it's almost flattering. But, I thought you were going to stop apologizing." 

He looked back at her and found that a smile had come to his face. "Sorry," he said. 

She laughed and shook her head. "Whatever am I going to do with you, Vincent?" 

"Whatever you want, I suppose," he decided. "But you should go back to sleep now; you still look tired." 

"You're right," she agreed, slowly laying back and closing her eyes. "There were just some things that needed saying before you leave..." 

Vincent fell silent, noticing that already she was drifting off again. He remained at her side, her hand in his, watching her sleep. He felt... content, he realized with some surprise. For the first time in gods knew how long, he felt content.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Reviving Lucrecia initially took nearly eleven pages because she insisted on talking to Vincent beforehand, and there were a number of other scenes from both their pasts which introduced several other minor characters... In short, it was a mess. Now it's only a tenth as long, and I pulled out all the really important things Lucrecia and Vincent said to each other and added them to the scene where she wakes briefly. 


	14. Gathering Strength

**Chapter 13: Gathering Strength**

At first she did not realize that any time had passed since she had fainted, but the ceiling did not look at all like that of Lucrecia's cave. Disoriented, Aeris pushed herself up on an elbow and realized that she was back in Cosmo Canyon's Shildra Inn. Someone must have carried her. In the next bed over, Lucrecia lay sleeping, and Vincent sat beside her, the ghost of a smile on his face. 

"How is she?" Aeris asked. 

Vincent seemed almost startled to hear her speak. Had he not noticed her wake? "She's fine," he answered, glancing at her only briefly. His attention remained fixed on Lucrecia. 

"That's good to hear." 

"...are you feeling all right?" 

"I'm tired, but I guess that's to be expected. Although, Sephiroth gave me so much more energy than I gave Lucrecia, and he was fine after a night's sleep. How long have I been out?" 

"All day," he replied. "I believe it's around ten in the evening." 

Aeris nodded slightly. "So did you get what you wanted, Vincent?" 

He looked back at her, really seeing her this time. "Yes, and I thank you for it. But... I told her that I would look after Sephiroth. So, until he is free..." 

"...you'll still feel guilty?" Aeris finished. 

He nodded silently. 

"Why do you think Talya is still working for Hojo?" she wondered, frowning. "You knew her, didn't you?" 

Vincent shook his head. "I didn't know her very well." 

"But surely you knew her better than I did." 

He regarded her with some confusion, but did not ask where she had met Talya. "I do know," he said quietly, "that she cared more about people than I ever did. I'm sure she cares about Sephiroth. What has trapped her into doing this, though, I don't know." 

Aeris frowned, equally at a loss. "The Hojo I remember wouldn't have been strong enough to defend himself against a Turk," she pondered. 

"He is no longer human," Vincent explained. "With the Jenova to aid him, perhaps he does have the strength." 

"But Talya's not human anymore either, is she? It still doesn't make sense." 

The ex-Turk shook his head, saying nothing more. 

Aeris pushed back the sheets and found the floor with her feet. "Where's Elena?" she asked. 

"I have not seen her since we returned." 

"That's right, you've been watching over Lucrecia, haven't you?" The question did not require an answer. She put on her boots and headed for the door. 

"You may want to find Nanaki," Vincent said as though the thought had just occurred to him. "I have not spoken with him, and I am sure he is curious." 

"Right, I will." She glanced back at him with a smile before stepping out into the hall. 

She made her way through the common room, intending to head outside, but she noticed Elena sitting in a corner, nursing a drink. 

"Hi," the Cetra greeted, taking a seat across from her. 

The blond looked up. "Oh, you're awake. How you feeling?" 

"Fine, just a little tired is all." 

"Same here. I mean, I hit the sack when we got back and slept through the afternoon, but I still don't feel _rested_." Elena shook her head. "I hope I can make it up tonight. When'll we be heading out?" 

"To rescue Sephiroth?" Aeris asked. "Who knows? I have yet to ask Cloud for his help, and we don't even know where to go." 

"Maybe we should've tried to follow them," the Turk reflected ruefully. 

"No, they'd have noticed." 

"I guess that's true. Hopefully when we've got everybody here, we'll be able to come up with something so we can go kick Hojo's ass and free Sephiroth." 

"...and that girl," Aeris added after a moment. "We ought to free Minerva, too." 

Elena looked puzzled. "You're not at all bothered that she put a knife to your throat?" 

"Sephiroth killed me, if you'll remember, and I want to help him," the Cetra reminded her dryly. 

"Oh, uh..." 

She shook her head, her expression softening. "But that doesn't really explain anything. I just think... well, you remember what she did, right? She let me go, against orders. I doubt she wants to be working for Hojo." 

"Like Talya, you mean?" 

Aeris blinked. "So you think the same about her? I'm surprised; she nearly killed you." 

"She didn't though. She just made sure I wouldn't get in the way. She could've just shot me, easily. It's not very... Turk-like that she didn't, you know?" 

"I'd have to agree with you. Still, I don't know how Hojo can have the both of them under his thumb, especially in Minerva's case. She has to be far stronger than him, even if he has Jenova in him now." 

"Maybe..." Elena pondered, "maybe it's some technological thing. I mean, magic can't touch that very easily, right?" 

The Cetra looked at her in surprise. The blond had never seemed terribly bright, but neither Aeris nor Vincent had considered that. 

The Turk shifted uncomfortably, thinking that she had said something stupid. "Anyway, whatever's got them trapped, they're on Hojo's side, and we're gonna have to fight 'em." 

"Right..." Aeris agreed reluctantly. "Well, I'd better give Cloud a call. Somehow I think we're going to need all the help we can get." 

Elena nodded. "Good luck." 

She smiled appreciatively and rose from her seat to go outside. It was indeed late, she learned. It was as dark as it had been when she had spoken with Sephiroth. There was one person sitting by the Candle, and that person seemed to notice her as she passed by on her way to the observatory. 

"Hey," called Katrina. 

Aeris turned to her. "Hello," she greeted hesitantly. They had met, but they hadn't really spoken before. 

"Where's Sephiroth?" the girl asked, and for the first time Aeris noticed the anxiety on her face. "Did he leave after all?" 

Aeris wasn't sure what to tell her. She didn't want to worry her any more, but she did not want to lie either. "He didn't want to, but yes. I expect he'll be back soon enough." 

Katrina regarded her carefully, obviously not convinced, but she did not inquire any further. "You spent all day in your room," she observed. "Are you still that tired?" 

"Well..." the Cetra faltered. She didn't need to lie about this, but she wasn't sure how to explain. "I'd mostly recovered, but... You see, I wanted to see if I could revive Lucrecia, so I..." 

"You must've succeeded," the girl concluded. "So that's why you're exhausted, though I don't think Seph was all _that_ tired." 

"I'm not as strong as Sephiroth." 

"I guess not." She paused. "Lucrecia is Sephiroth's mom, right?" 

"That's right." 

"Why would he leave if he had the chance to talk to her?" 

"She hasn't woken up yet," Aeris answered, thinking quickly. "I didn't give her nearly as much energy as Sephiroth gave me. It'll be a while before she's regained her strength." 

"Oh." 

There was a pause and the Cetra took it as her cue to go. "Well," she said, "I want to catch Nanaki while he's still awake, so if you'll excuse me..." 

"Go ahead," Katrina replied. "I'll see you around." 

Aeris nodded and went on her way, heading up to the observatory level. Once there, though, she hesitated. It was so empty there, the perfect place of seclusion. She sat down at the cliff's edge, but not too close, and looked down on the village below. In the daylight, this spot must have offered a great view of the canyon, but now she could only see the Candle with any clarity, and other torches provided pinholes into the whole picture. 

She closed her eyes tiredly, seeking not the blissful oblivion of sleep, but something within herself, that little piece of her soul that belonged to the Planet, that part of the Planet that belonged to her. She could feel that it was anxious about something. As she found the connection, it seemed to _notice_ her, or at least shift more of its attention in her direction. 

"What's wrong?" she asked in a whisper. "Are you worried about Hojo?" 

_The Crisis from the Sky is stirring._

"I thought Cloud killed it," Aeris said, frowning. 

_I do not think it can be killed, not by its own children alone._

Her lips tightened. "Cloud is no child of Jenova." 

_He is. He carries a part of it within him. You know it._

"I felt something," she admitted, "but I didn't think..." She trailed off and shook her head. "Never mind that. Who _can_ kill it then?" 

_Not saying Cloud _cannot_. Only that he cannot do it without help. The Crisis from the Sky wields too much influence over him. Alone, he lacks the strength to defeat it._

"I think I see..." She wondered how Jenova fit into everything else that had happened. It had returned at the same time as so much else, it seemed. 

"What of Sephiroth?" she asked, wondering what the Planet made of his second chance. Had it had any choice in the matter? Could it have held him in the Lifestream, or did it lack the strength? 

_He may travel down the same path as before, or he may forge a new one as yet untravelled. It is his decision alone._

"Are you afraid of what he might do?" 

_No._

"Why not? Surely you remember Meteor." 

_Are you afraid of him, child?_

Aeris blinked. "Well... not really. Not anymore." 

_Why not?_

"...he has a good soul. If he can just stay free of Jenova's grasp..." 

_Then there is no reason to ask the same of me._

She smiled, glad to find that they felt the same way. "Then, Planet, do you know where Hojo might be keeping him?" 

The Planet seemed to mull this over a moment. _When Meteor came five years ago, six small wounds of mine ceased drawing blood, but one remains. You may find them there._

Aeris frowned thoughtfully. "You mean, one of the reactors? Do you know which?" 

_Child, I cannot tell you everything._

"I know," she sighed, shaking her head. "I just... don't want him to suffer there any longer than he has to. I want everything to turn out well, but it seems that every time I try to do something right, I make a mistake and end up hurting someone. I don't want that to happen this time, so please... if there's anything you can tell me..." 

_You should have more faith in yourself. Perhaps your mistakes are not so bad as you think._

"But because I didn't listen to him, Sephiroth is..." 

_Do what you think you must_, the Planet hummed encouragingly. _What will happen will happen._

"I guess you're right." 

_Now, don't you have work to do? There are others who can help you more than I._

She nodded and started to climb to her feet. 

"Aeris?" said Nanaki from behind her. 

She gave a start and twisted to look at him. "Oh, hello. Have you... been here long?" 

Nanaki shook his head and padded over to sit beside her. "No, not long." He fixed his one eye on her in scrutiny. "What has happened? Where did you go last night? When Vincent brought you in this morning, you were unconscious, and there was a strange woman, too. I've not seen seen any of you since." 

"I... did a stupid thing, and went off on my own--well, with Elena, I mean. I wanted to revive Lucrecia, for Vincent, but... I don't know if you knew about Talya, that she was here, but she followed us, and..." Aeris shook her head. "The short of the matter is that Hojo is still alive, and he has Sephiroth now. I'm worried about him." 

The feline considered this matter carefully, looking down at the Candle below them. "I suppose that you'll want to rescue him," he said at length. 

"You don't sound surprised," she remarked. 

"You know as well as I what it is like to be Hojo's specimen. No one should have to go through that; it doesn't matter what they've done. Of course you would want to free him from that." 

Aeris nodded, though a part of her wanted to explain to him that there was more to it than that. 

Nanaki seemed to sense something of her feelings. "Although, he has certainly changed. It seems he has done a number of good deeds since returning, reviving you not the least of them. And... he seems to care about things now. He asked me about you, you know." 

"He did?" 

"Yes. He wanted to know what I thought of you. And, to my surprise, he asked if he had known you before the Nibelheim incident." 

"I suppose you told him he hadn't," she reflected absently. 

The feline watched her carefully. "Was I wrong?" 

"You know, he spent much of his childhood under Hojo's care, just as I did. He was the one who..." She stopped and shook her head. "Never mind. Anyway, I guess the real question is whether or not Cloud and the others will be willing to help him. Five years ago, they were so set on killing him, and now, to ask them to _save_ him...?" 

"You are the proof that he has changed; if anyone can convince them, it's you. Some of them, I am sure, will consent to help." He paused and shook his head. "I doubt Yuffie will be among them." 

Aeris smiled and turned to scratch him behind the ears. "The two of you really didn't get along, did you? But you know, it's been five years since we've seen her. Don't you think she's matured any?" 

"Yuffie? Mature?" He snorted incredulously. "Those two words will never belong in the same sentence." 

At this the Cetra laughed aloud. "I guess we'll see," she said. "Can I use your PHS?" 

"Of course," Nanaki answered, getting up to lead her inside. His PHS lay on the living room table, and he nodded towards it. "I'm sure you want some privacy," he said when she had taken a seat on the couch. "I'll be outside." 

She nodded and watched him pad out of the observatory before she took up the PHS, which was pocked with teeth marks, she noticed with some amusement. Her smile soon faded, though, when she recalled the task before her. She took a deep breath and dialed Cloud's number. 

"(Hello?)" came his query over the line. There was a fading din in the background, as though he were leaving a crowded room. A bar, perhaps? 

"Hi, Cloud," she greeted. 

"(...hey, Aeris.)" His voice still held some amazement, and she wondered if a part of him had believed her visit to have been a dream. 

"I'm sorry to be bothering you so soon," she said. "It's only been, what? A day and a half? Gods, it feels like it's been longer..." 

"(Aeris?)" he asked in concern. "(What's wrong? Are you all right?)" 

"I'm fine, but..." She faltered. "Hojo's still alive." 

"(What?)" 

"Vincent tells me he had Jenova in him. That must be why. And what's worse: he's taken Sephiroth captive." 

"(How the hell did he manage that?)" Cloud wondered. Unsurprisingly, he did not sound at all worried about the swordsman. 

She frowned. "I was careless, and two women who work for Hojo--they caught me. They said they wanted Sephiroth, though I think Hojo wants us both, and so he traded himself in to save me." 

"(He did what?)" 

"You heard me. He's not the same man you killed five years ago, Cloud. I think maybe he's reverted to the way he used to be, before Nibelheim. And you can't forget that he brought me back." 

"(But you wouldn't have been dead if it weren't for him.)" 

"Cloud..." 

He sighed. "(So you want me to kill Hojo and... rescue Sephiroth?)" 

"Well, essentially... yes." 

"(Do you know where they are?)" 

"The Planet gave me some hints, so I have an idea. The details, though, we'll have to work out." Aeris hesitated. "You know you don't have to help..." 

"(No, I will. I may hate Sephiroth, but I don't like Hojo either. Besides, he's dangerous.)" 

"And you don't mind throwing yourself into danger again?" 

"(Isn't that supposed to be my line?)" 

She laughed. "You're right. Well, I probably won't be going; I haven't the strength." 

"(Good,)" he said. "(So, where are you calling from?)" 

"Cosmo Canyon," she replied. "Do you think we could meet here?" 

"(That'd work. I'll give Barret and Cid a call, you ask the others.)" 

"Okay. See you soon." 

"(Right. Bye.)" 

"Bye..." 

Aeris ended the call and leaned back for a moment. Even if all the others refused, Cloud would help, and where he went, Tifa would follow. With Vincent and Elena, that made four of them, and maybe Nanaki would be willing to lend a hand. She wished she, too, could go, but Vincent was right. She was in no condition to fight anyone. If only she were as strong as Sephiroth... 

Shaking her head, she straightened and dialed Yuffie's number. 

"(Uh, hello?)" The ninja sounded almost baffled, as though she didn't get many calls on this line. Had the Avalanche crew not kept up with her well? 

"Hi, Yuffie," the Cetra greeted. "It's Aeris." 

"(Yeah, right,)" Yuffie said skeptically, though she seemed to recognize the voice. Behind the doubt, there was a fraction of hope. 

"I'm serious. I know it's hard to believe, but--" 

"(You're dead,)" the ninja interrupted. "(This's gotta be a joke.)" 

"It's not. Sephiroth's back, you see, and he revived me." 

There was a long pause. "(...you're not kidding, are you?)" 

"No, it's really me." 

"(Holy...! That's just--When do I get to see you?)" Before Aeris could reply, she realized something and went on. "(Wait a minute, Sephiroth's back? Didn't we sorta kill him?)" 

"The Jenova in him revived him. But, it's all right." 

"(How is that all right?)" Yuffie wondered quizzically. "(Won't he, you know, kill everyone?)" 

"He's sane now. He brought me back, remember?" 

"(Oh, yeah... Well... Still, he's...)" 

"Just trust me on this. We have bigger problems..." 

"(Oh,)" the ninja said seriously, "(so that's why you're calling. You need my help?)" 

"Yes," Aeris confirmed. "You remember Hojo, right?" 

"(Unfortunately.)" 

"He's alive again." 

"(Him, too?)" Yuffie exclaimed incredulously. "(Gawd! This is just getting too weird. Anybody else come back to life that I should know about?)" 

Aeris decided that mentioning Lucrecia would make this more complicated than it needed to be. "Not that I know of," she answered. 

"(Okay, so you wanna know if I'll help kill Hojo? Why don't you just have Sephiroth do it, if he's sane?)" 

"Well, that's part of the problem; Hojo's taken him captive." 

"(Maybe the Jenova made Hojo a mutant freak, but he still couldn't be strong enough to manage _that_.)" 

"He had help. I'll explain further once everyone's here. Assuming you're coming, that is." 

"(Of course I'm coming.)" 

Aeris could not help feeling surprised. "Really? You know it's going to be dangerous, don't you?" 

"(Jeez, you're starting to sound like Cloud. I'm a seasoned ninja, you know. Besides, you'd be goners without me.)" 

The Cetra shook her head at the girl's confidence, but she had to admit that Yuffie was a strong ally to have. "Then I'll see you soon. We're meeting in Cosmo Canyon." 

"(Okay then. See ya.)" 

Yuffie hung up, and Aeris sat for a moment in refection. She really hadn't expected the ninja to agree to help. After all, this had nothing to do with Wutai. But it seemed that she had been proven wrong. She wondered if Yuffie just wanted to see everyone again. 

"Well, two down, one to go," she said to herself. She was reluctant to make the final call, however. She didn't know Reeve that well. In fact, she hadn't even met him, only his Cait Sith toy, and the cat must have had a completely different personality. Sighing, she punched in his number and prepared herself to convince a near stranger to help Sephiroth. 

"(Um... hi?)" came a surprisingly familiar voice over the line. 

She blinked rapidly, trying to place it. "Reno?" 

"(Uh... yeah,)" he confirmed, apparently not recognizing her voice. Or, if he did, he wasn't trusting his ears. "(Reeve got a girlfriend I don't know about?)" 

Aeris couldn't help laughing. "I'm insulted, really, that you don't remember me, even after all that time you spent chasing me." 

"(Aeris? But you're--)" 

"Dead. I know. I mean, I used to be." 

"(You mean Elena was right to believe that rumor?)" he asked, disbelief still strong in his tone. 

"Yes, she was. Sephiroth brought me back. Now, can I please talk to Reeve?" 

"(Nope, sorry. He's not here right now.)" 

Aeris frowned suspiciously. "Reno... is he really gone, or are you just teasing me?" 

"(He's out. Really. Now, what were you saying about Sephiroth?)" 

She hesitated. She supposed there wasn't any real harm in telling him; Reno could certainly keep a secret. Unless, maybe, he got drunk... "If I tell you, you can't tell anyone else, except Reeve. Can you do that?" 

"(What about Rude?)" he asked. 

"Um..." She hadn't known Rude, but he had seemed a very quiet and serious man, and Reno had obviously trusted him with anything. "I guess that's okay," she decided. 

"(Then yeah, I can do that.)" 

"Okay. Well, you see, both Sephiroth and Hojo came back to life because of the Jenova." 

"(Shit. That can't be good.)" 

"Hold on," she interjected before he could speculate. "Sephiroth's sane again, so that's all right, except that Hojo caught him." 

"(So he's gonna experiment on him again?)" 

The Cetra frowned. "Well, yes..." 

"(Why's that such a bad thing? He deserves it.)" 

"No, he doesn't," Aeris stated sharply. "No one deserves that. But listen, it's dangerous for Hojo to have free reign. Maybe he's not as brilliant as Professor Gast, but he's certainly a lot sicker. He's got a girl who looks like Sephiroth working for him, and I think she's bound Sephiroth so that he can't do anything. If Hojo's managed that, can you imagine what he'll come up with next?" 

"(Shit...)" 

"Exactly." 

"(So you wanna kill them? And you wanted Reeve to help?)" 

"Well, yes, but we only want to kill Hojo." 

"(What about that girl?)" Reno wondered. "(Is she, uh, sane?)" 

"Yes. I don't think she wants to be working for Hojo, but it seems he has some sort of control over her." 

There was a pause. "(...is she cute?)" 

Aeris sighed. "Reno, is that all you ever think about?" 

"(It ranks pretty high on my list, yeah. Which reminds me--did you hook up with Cloud? Is Tifa still single?)" 

"No. They're married now..." 

"(Oh, sorry,)" he said, though he sounded suspiciously glad. "(But, I guess you're in the market for a new boyfriend now, huh?)" 

"Reno," she said with a sigh, "I know what you're going to say, and I'm not interested." 

"(Damn. Well, it was worth a try. Anyway, you want me to tell Reeve all this crap?)" 

"Please." 

"(Okay. And, uh... is Elena still with you?)" 

"Yes." 

"(She coming home any time soon?)" 

"It really depends on how quickly we take care of Hojo." 

"(You mean she's helping you?)" 

"That's right." 

"(She's crazy! She'll kill herself!)" 

Aeris frowned. "I'd say she's a pretty good fighter." 

"(Yeah, right,)" he said, and she could imagine him rolling his eyes. 

She decided pushing her point would get her nowhere. "The rest of us will take care of her," she told him. "Just tell Reeve for me, all right? Everyone's meeting in Cosmo Canyon. Goodbye." 

"(Wait! Hold on!)" 

"What is it?" 

"(Do you mind if me an' Rude join the cause?)" 

She blinked in surprise. "Well, I guess that's fine. But, why do you want to help?" 

"(Hey, I never liked the guy either. Besides, we've gotta look after Elena to make sure she doesn't shoot herself in the foot or anything.)" 

Aeris shook her head. "All right then. I guess I'll see you." 

"(Yeah, see ya.)" 

"Bye." 

Turning off the PHS, Aeris set it back down on the table. She wondered if she had made a mistake. She knew Cloud would have a hard time getting along with the Turks. Although, she considered, he hadn't had a problem with Elena, had he? She supposed she'd find out soon enough. 

She got to her feet and went outside to where Nanaki lay watching the village below. He looked up at her as she approached. 

"How did you do?" 

"A lot better than I thought I would," she answered, sitting down beside him and reaching out a hand to stroke his mane. "Cloud agreed, and that means Tifa's coming, too. Yuffie's said she'd help--" 

"Yuffie's coming?" he asked in surprise. 

"She didn't sound quite the same as she used to be," Aeris told him. "Maybe she'll surprise us." 

Nanaki tossed his head to express his doubt. 

"Anyway, well, Reno answered instead of Reeve, and he insisted I tell him what was going on. So it turns out that he and Rude are coming to lend a hand." 

"So we have all the Turks with us now? I'm sure Cloud will appreciate that." 

The Cetra shook her head. "I figure we need all the help we can get. He'll just have to deal with it." 

"Well, now that that's done with," Nanaki continued, turning to study her face, "you ought to get some rest. You look tired." 

"I am," she admitted. 

"You can sleep here tonight if you like. It seems the inn is about full." 

"Thank you," Aeris said gratefully, and he led her back inside the observatory.

* * *

_Darkness surrounded her, so thick that she could barely see her feet. An eerie breeze seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at once, and she shivered violently. _

"Are you cold?" asked a low voice. 

She whirled around in surprise, having thought she was alone, and found Sephiroth standing there, head tilted in concern. 

"N-no," she stammered. "It's nothing." Her gaze no longer on her feet, she felt forced to examine her surroundings--but she could see nothing beyond the black. "Where are we?" 

"Where she wants us to be," he answered. 

Aeris frowned at him in confusion and worry. "Who?" 

"There is no time for answers, Aeris. Look." Placing a hand on her shoulder, he gently guided her to turn around. 

She found herself staring into a full length mirror. She could see Sephiroth standing tall behind her, his hand still on her shoulder, and the image comforted her. Her smile faded, though, when the reflection changed bit by bit until it was Minerva who stood behind her, her eyes an icy and indifferent blue-green. Aeris's eyes followed the girl's other arm down to where she gripped the hilt of the Masamune. 

The Cetra took a step backwards in fear. The hand retracted from her shoulder, and Minerva lowered her hand. 

"Don't worry," said Sephiroth from behind her. "It isn't you that she's come for." 

Aeris's reflection turned to Minerva and touched her arm lightly, lips moving in an inaudible request. The silver-haired girl stepped forward and out of the mirror. 

"Cloud," Aeris began anxiously, a part of her wishing that he were here instead. 

"Don't worry," Sephiroth repeated, brushing past her to meet Minerva. 

"Sephiroth," said the girl, "it is time. You can deny her no longer." 

He nodded. "I know." His head turned slightly, and he murmured to Aeris, "I've failed you." 

She watched in a helpless horror as Minerva drove the Masamune through him. She could remember how that blade had felt lancing through her. He sank to his knees, and she shut her eyes tightly, turning away. Please, this can't be real...

"What is real?" 

She whirled around, searching for the owner of the voice, only to find herself alone in the darkness once more. 

"Thank you, Aeris," came her mother's voice from behind her. 

This time she turned slowly, and all of the Cetra were there gathered before her. The sky shone a brilliant blue, and a gentle breeze stirred the flowers at her feet. She could not recall when the scenery around her had changed, and she still felt cold. Only the memory of Sephiroth's hand remained to warm her. 

"What...?" she wondered in confusion. 

"You've killed Sephiroth," Ifalna told her, smiling. 

Aeris started and took a step back, violently shaking her head. "No! I didn't!" 

"Of course you did. What's wrong?" 

She remembered her reflection in the mirror, but continued to shake her head. "I didn't! It was Jenova! It must have been!" 

Her mother bowed her head in apparent disappointment. "My dear Aeris, you said the same when he killed you. Do you really believe that she has so much power over both of you?" 

"But--" 

"Well, never mind that. He deserved to die by your hand, and we thank you for it. He and his kin will never bother us again." 

"Please--" 

But the Cetra would not listen. They gathered Aeris up onto their shoulders, her struggling no hindrance to them, and they carried her across the field towards the lake. 

"No!" she screamed. "I didn't! I didn't kill him! Don't take me there! Please!" 

But her cries were lost amidst the joyous clamor of the Cetra. Struggling wildly, Aeris at last managed to break free of their hands and tumbled to the ground. She clawed her way to her feet and frantically pushed at the crowd, searching desperately for a way out. But the people would not move, and they reached for her again, praising her, telling what good she had done in ridding the world of Sephiroth. 

"NO!" She could not hear her own voice, only the voices of her mother and the Cetra ringing in her ears. 

"Thank you, Aeris. You've killed Sephiroth. Thank you." 

With a cry of desperation, she broke through the group and ran for all she was worth. Leaving them behind, her feet lost the ground and suddenly she was falling through pitch black. 

"Sephiroth!" she called, this time wanting only his aid. She thought she heard him answer her, but she wasn't certain. A feather, and she landed softly on the smooth obsidian floor and folded her wings across her back. A cluster of angels had gathered around Sephiroth, some mournful, others finally content. Minerva, clothed all in black and the bloodied Masamune in her grasp, stood slightly apart from them. 

Aeris padded over and knelt down beside Sephiroth. His one remaining wing was draped awkwardly across his wound, and blood seeped through the pure white feathers, staining them a brilliant red. 

"Please," Aeris whispered, laying a hand over his heart. "Please..."

* * *

Author's Notes  
And Yuffie's back! Well, sort of. In an over-the-phone kind of way. P In the original, I did treat her a lot better in this scene, but I didn't try to show that she'd matured much. I hadn't yet realized then how much fun she could be to write. 

And then there's the first of Aeris's dreams. Well, nightmare, really. She has two more of this kind, but this is the most involved of the three. When I was writing LFA, I didn't have a clear idea of where I would end up, which really isn't a good way to go about writing anything, but strangely, it did come in handy when writing Aeris's dreams. Each time, I had a vague idea of where I wanted the story to be going, and so I took those ideas and tried to express them in as dreamlike a way as possible. I honestly don't recall what exactly I had in mind for the story at this point, but I can see the beginnings of a few ideas that did end up being used. 


	15. Reunion

**Chapter 14: Reunion**

Sephiroth's eyes shot open and he sat up. 

_What...?_ It took him a moment to recognize his surroundings and recall what had happened. Looking around the sterile room, he nodded shakily to himself. _It was only a dream, of course. It was too strange to have been real, and I'm not dead. I am here, in the lab, and she would never have done such a thing... _

It was the Cetra who told her to, came that voice again. 

He frowned. _I thought I told you to leave me alone. _

I cannot remain silent. You must learn the truth before Aeris uses you to fulfill her own agenda. 

What in nine hells are you talking about? 

She wants to destroy you and Minerva--anyone who carries Jenova's cells. She believes that Jenova is evil, that Jenova is the Crisis from the Sky. 

But she is, he stated flatly. 

_Oh, no, you've been deceived as well. The Cetra are the real parasites of this Planet. They've only tricked the humans into thinking otherwise, and it has become common belief. Of course, the Cetra are naturally more charming and quite capable of making themselves seem vulnerable, worthy of defending. Of course the humans would believe them over the silent, stoic children of Jenova._

Sephiroth was not buying any of this. _The Cetra speak to the Planet; they use their magic to heal; they help to protect this Planet. Aeris summoned Holy, while I called Meteor to destroy the Planet. What you say has no logic to it. _

This Planet is beyond aid, it is so infested with descendants of the Cetra. The only remedy is to destroy it. It's a shame, really, but the parasites must not be allowed to infect other worlds. They've already ventured into space once. It won't be long. 

This is ridiculous, he scoffed. 

_You would prefer to believe the sweet little Cetra, wouldn't you? She's always been so kind to you. _

She has. 

The voice laughed at this. _She lies to you, pretends to care so that you will sacrifice yourself for her. What a way to get rid of another of our kind! And you, poor misguided boy, believed her. You've fallen in love with the endearing little girl. _

What? 

You were willing to give yourself to Hojo so that she could remain free. I know how much you hate and fear the Professor... 

A knock on the door interrupted the mental argument before Sephiroth could answer this unwanted voice in his head. He looked up as Talya opened the door. She did not enter the room, and there was no smile on her face. 

_Hmm_, the voice commented indifferently, _looks like you'll be seeing him soon. _

Shut up. Just shut up. 

Sephiroth stood and followed Talya down the hall to Hojo's laboratory, not a single word passing between them.

* * *

Minerva blinked to clear her vision and checked her hold on Sephiroth. _Did I really...?_ No, she couldn't have fallen asleep. Never had she used enough energy to tire herself out. Not even when Hojo... She shook her head. Best not to think about such things. Perhaps, it had been a daydream? But what kind of daydream was that? Were they not supposed to be pleasant? 

Sighing, she stood and paced back and forth in her cell. _Perhaps I'm finally going insane_, she mused. 

_That would be a pity_, remarked a voice in her head. 

_I am certain you would quite enjoy taking advantage of me if I did. You probably showed me that just to push me a step closer to that end. But you'll not sway me so easily. I am stronger than Sephiroth. _

I know. That's why you're my favorite. 

Minerva grimaced. _Shut up. _

It was not your fault, though. 

I don't get any privacy whatsoever, do I? the girl sighed. 

_It was the Cetra girl who put you to it. You realize that she is the reason for all this madness, don't you? For our suffering. _

She is not, Minerva stated, _and I refuse to be associated with you. Perhaps you occupy a part of my mind and my body, but you are separate from me. You cannot have me as you did him. _

Ah, this strength is what I like about you. Although, if you had gone through what Sephiroth did, perhaps you would not be quite so strong. Still, your stubbornness prides me, daughter. 

Do not call me that! she snapped angrily. _I am not your daughter. _

If you so choose to believe. I trust you'll bring the Cetra to Hojo so he can further my wishes for her. She deserves all the punishment he can give her. 

I refuse. I won't go. I'd sooner die. 

There is nothing you can do. You were not made to defy him, or me. You were created for destruction, nothing more, and there are but two paths you can take. 

Minerva shook her head. _I was not created to destroy. My purpose is to guard Sephiroth and that Cetra, Aeris. _

And to kill anyone who gets in Hojo's way, the voice added. _Destroy anything in his path. Betray them if you must. _

No. I have no wish to do so. 

But that is your purpose. Your only way out lies with me. 

I'd rather stick with Hojo, she spat. 

_Then you'll capture the Cetra. _

I do not want to. I... Minerva faltered. _There is something about her that... She should not be caged. I'll refuse. _

What you feel is only a defense mechanism meant to evoke your compassion. 

No, you are wrong, she said with more certainty. _Have you not been near her, or do you simply lack the soul required to comprehend that kind of feeling? _

It is that very soul that she appeals to. She wants you to feel compassion for her so that she will remain free while those of our race suffer. 

She does not mean for us to suffer. She did not mean for Sephiroth to come here. She argued against it, told him to let her be taken. She cares for him. 

She only pretends to. She is far more intelligent and much less naïve than she seems. The Cetra works out ways to seduce others so that they will work for her. That is how she builds her strength. 

Is this how you are trying to deceive Sephiroth? It will not work with either of us, I assure you, so shut up and leave me be. 

Or what? There is nothing you can do. 

If you insist on keeping up this idiot game, which, I might add, has not worked on me for seventeen years, then I will tell Sephiroth who you are. That would ruin your plans, would it not? 

There was a pause. _You will capture the Cetra, whether you want to or not._

At last the voice in her head fell silent, and Minerva sighed. It spoke more and more often now, almost as though it was running out of time. Perhaps that meant that it would soon be gone. Did Sephiroth's refusal to listen make it anxious? 

She moved her chair to the wall that separated her room from his. "Sephiroth?" she ventured. She wasn't sure why she wanted to speak with him. Did she want to protect him from the all-too-persistent voice? Perhaps she only welcomed the company. 

"Sephiroth," she repeated, louder this time. No answer came, and she sighed. Alone as always. Closing her eyes, she hummed softly to herself, finding little comfort in the empty sound.

* * *

"Who are you waiting for?" 

Aeris looked up as Katrina took a seat beside her at the bonfire. "A few of my friends are coming to meet me here," she answered guardedly. 

"...something's very wrong, isn't it?" the girl asked. 

"I suppose I'm not a very good liar," the Cetra sighed, though that wasn't really true; she could lie quite well if the matter concerned only herself. 

Katrina shifted anxiously. "Is Sephiroth okay?" 

Aeris returned her attention to the gate. "I hope so." 

"That woman, Talya, did she... take him back to Hojo?" 

It surprised her how much the girl seemed to know. "Yes." 

"I don't understand," Katrina said, shaking her head. "Why couldn't he just use his powers to get away?" 

Aeris's voice sounded hollow even to herself, and her eyes were fixed on the entrance as though it were her last hope. "Maybe he doesn't remember how," she murmured. 

"Are you okay?" 

She nodded absently. "I'm fine. Just... tired, that's all." 

Katrina obviously did not believe such an answer, but she let it lie. "So, when are they supposed to get here?" 

"I'm not sure." 

"Is it, um... Cloud and the others? You were all friends, right?" 

Aeris nodded. "Some of Elena's friends are coming, too..." 

"And they're all willing to help Seph? I mean, the two of us, we know he's changed, but to most everyone else, he's... well... Sephiroth." 

"To them, it's not about Sephiroth. It's about killing Hojo. They're all well aware how dangerous it is for him to have his way." 

"But, they will end up rescuing Seph." 

"I know. I admit I'm worried about what will happen when Cloud meets him..." 

Katrina frowned. "Vincent'll be going with, right?" 

Aeris nodded. "Hopefully he'll be able to keep Cloud from doing anything stupid." She perked up as she saw the familiar shock of blond hair appear coming up the steps. A relieved smile spread across her face, and she stood. "There he is now..." 

Hopping down from the Candle, Aeris ran to meet him, throwing her arms around his neck but maintaining the embrace only briefly. "It's good to see you again," she said when she drew back. 

Cloud smiled hesitantly, and both of them glanced at Tifa. 

"It's all right," she said. 

"Where's Nanaki?" Cloud wondered, looking around. 

"I'm not sure," Aeris answered, looking around. "He's probably seen you, though." 

"Are the others here yet?" Tifa asked. 

The Cetra shook her head. "No, you guys got here first." She started to guide them towards the Candle when Nanaki bounded up, Miera behind him. 

"Hello, Cloud, Tifa," he greeted, bowing his head. 

Cloud and Tifa both stared. "I thought you were the last of your kind," Cloud said finally. 

"Well, it turns out you were wrong," Miera said simply. 

Aeris smiled and turned back to her newly arrived friends. "Did you convince Barret or Cid to come?" 

"Only Cid," Cloud replied, shaking his head. "Barret's in Midgar, so you can understand he's got his hands full." 

"I see," Aeris said. "Did you ask how Marlene was doing?" 

He scratched his head sheepishly. "Sorry. Forgot to. So, how did you do?" 

"Better than I expected, that's for sure. Yuffie's coming, and... well, I'm not sure what you're going to think of this, but the Turks want to help, too." 

"What?" Cloud exclaimed. 

Aeris tucked her hair behind her ear. "That's okay, right?" 

He frowned, but Tifa touched him gently on the arm. "We need all the help we can get, right?" she said softly. 

Cloud sighed. "I guess..." 

"HOLY SHIT!" 

This loud exclamation made all of them turn to see Cid sprinting up the steps. 

"Cid!" Aeris greeted happily. 

To her surprise, he took her by the shoulders and hugged her. "You really are alive! I mean, I didn't really believe it when Cloud told me, but... Holy shit! It's good to see you!" 

She smiled, though she felt a little awkward in his embrace. "I'm glad to see you, too, Cid." 

He took a step back and scratched his head, turning to look at the others as though just noticing them. "Uh, hi, everyone." He peered down at Miera. "A new addition to our group of numskulls?" 

"I'm afraid our mission is to stay here and guard Aeris," Miera told him with a grin. "The name is Miera." 

"Well, in case you hadn't figured it out already, I'm Cid Highwind. Good to meet ya." He seemed about ready to stick out a hand, but stopped himself. 

Aeris nudged him with her elbow. "So have you gotten together with Shera yet?" 

He ran a hand through his hair in embarrassment and shook his head. "Nah." 

Tifa sighed. "What are we going to do with you, Cid?" 

"I dunno," he answered with a shrug. 

Suddenly Aeris was swept off her feet and into someone's arms. 

"Reno!" she cried when she realized what had happened. "Put me down!" 

Instead of doing as he was bidden, he twirled around with her, grinning broadly. "How am I supposed to do that?" he wondered. "I mean, hell, you were dead!" 

"Reno," Cloud said threateningly. "Put her down." 

The redhead at last complied, pushing back his messy hair. "Sorry, couldn't help myself." He grinned again. "I guess you still like her, Cloud. Why'd you marry Tifa?" 

Tifa flushed indignantly, but found nothing to say. 

"Because I love her," Cloud answered, anger threaded through his voice. This earned him a startled look from Tifa, who then smiled. 

"Hey now, no need to get so mad," Reno said, holding up his hands. "I came here to help you all." 

Cloud started to say something, but Aeris cleared her throat. 

"For once, I agree with Reno," she said. "You shouldn't be fighting." The Turk grinned triumphantly, and she shot him a glare, placing her hands on her hips. "But if you _ever_ do that again..." 

"All right, all right, I'm sorry! I'll be good!" 

"You promise?" 

He nodded solemnly. "Promise." 

Aeris looked over towards the gate, noticing that Rude and Reeve had come up during the scene and stood watching, looking, she thought, a little embarrassed on Reno's behalf. 

"Hello, Rude," she said hesitantly. "Reeve, I think this is the first time we've really met." 

He nodded. "Yes, I guess it is." He smiled shyly and extended a hand. "Pleased to meet you." 

Aeris smiled and shook his hand. "Well met, Reeve. But, where's Cait Sith?" 

"There's no need for him anymore," he answered simply. "I only had him before because the Shinra wanted me in two places at once." 

She sighed, feigning disappointment. "That's too bad. Cait Sith was cute." 

"Hey now," Reeve protested, "are you implying that _I_'m not?" 

She laughed and shook her head. "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant." 

He folded his arms. "You still owe me a date, if you'll remember." 

This statement produced sounds of confusion from a number of their friends. 

"That's right," Aeris said, recalling the deal they had made in the Temple all those years ago. "I do, don't I?" 

Reno was looking around. "Where's Elena?" he asked. "Even she never sleeps this late." 

"I don't know," the Cetra told him, "but she'll probably join us when she notices you've come. In the meantime, why don't we go sit down?" 

Her friends all voiced their agreement, and the nine of them went to join Katrina by the Candle. Aeris took a moment to introduce the girl to everyone. 

"So you're Katrina," Reno said, and then he looked towards Nanaki and Miera. "Who's the other cat?" 

"I am not a cat," Miera stated indignantly. 

"Then what the hell am I supposed to call you?" 

"Miera," she answered. "My name." 

The redhead shook his head. "Jeez. I didn't know cat girls got as touchy as human ones." 

She fixed him with a none-too-friendly stare. 

"I mean, whatever-you-are girls. Hells, what do you want from me?" 

At last Miera let up and laughed. The exchange seemed to lighten up some of the tensions in the group that had formed upon Reno's arrival. Aeris wondered if that had been Miera's intention. 

It was then that Elena came down to sit with them, and the Turks welcomed her with no little teasing. Eventually, their conversation died out, and everyone turned their eyes on her, her old companions on her left, the Turks on her right, and Katrina just beside her. 

It seemed that the role of leader had somehow fallen to Aeris, and she was not used to it. 

When she failed to say anything, Reeve brought up the question they were all wondering: "It seems like everyone's here; what are we waiting for...?" 

"Yuffie's coming from Wutai," Aeris explained. "That's probably why she's late in coming." 

"What about vampire-boy?" Cid queried. 

"Vincent's looking after Lucrecia," she answered, realizing only after she had said it that none of them knew what she was talking about. She really had not slept well enough the night before. "You remember," she prompted, "his lost love? I... um... resurrected her." 

Astonishment replaced their confusion. 

"You can do that?" Reno wondered, both eyebrows raised. 

"Yes," Aeris said, shifting uncomfortably under their stares. "I only followed Sephiroth's example. Otherwise, I wouldn't have known how." 

Nanaki, who had already known, merely appeared intrigued. "You learned the spell from Sephiroth?" he asked. "Interesting. So, it isn't any different for--?" 

"RED!" 

All heads turned as Yuffie made her entrance and flung her arms around the startled Nanaki. 

"I've missed you a lot!" she exclaimed. 

The feline grunted. "Would you kindly get off of me?" 

"Oh! Sorry!" Yuffie sat up and looked around at all the others, her eyes widening once they reached Aeris. Getting to her feet, she crossed to the other side of the Candle to give the Cetra a hug. "It's good to have you back," she said. Seating herself just on Aeris's left, she finished her appraisal of the group. "Someone tell me why the Turks are here?" 

"Hey, Shinra's long gone; we're on your side now," Reno said amicably. When this earned him several skeptical glances, he went on, "We came to this decision while sober, I might add." 

"One has to wonder if you're still sober," Cloud muttered. Aloud he said, "Now that everyone's here, we might as well get down to business. Aeris?" 

She gave a start, then nodded. "Right. I'm assuming everyone here has the gist of what we're trying to do. Our first task really is to find out exactly where Hojo is. The Planet mentioned to me that one of the Midgar reactors is still functioning, and that's where he's working from, but it didn't say which." 

"If I remember correctly, the southeast part of Midgar was hit the worst," Reeve considered. "So maybe the Number 8 Reactor... Do you think Barret checked it out?" 

"I dunno," said Cloud, shrugging. "The wreckage probably makes it hard to get inside." 

"I guess you'll just have to take a look for yourselves," Aeris sighed. 

"So now that we know where we're going," Reno began, "what'll we be up against once we get there? You mentioned a silver-haired chick..." 

Elena sighed, putting a hand to her forehead. "Reno..." 

"The girl's name is Minerva," Aeris said before Elena could say much more. "It seems she's a successful attempt at creating another Sephiroth. I don't think that she has any desire to be working for Hojo, but he's got some sort of control over her--Elena suggested some sort of technological implant, but we don't really know." 

Here, Reno and Rude exchanged surprised glances and looked at Elena, who flushed in embarrassment. 

"So," said Yuffie, "the thing to do is to kill Hojo first, and then she'll be on our side, right?" 

"That would make things easy," Aeris agreed, "but I doubt you'll be able to get to Hojo first." 

Cloud spoke up. "What about the other woman you said was working for him?" 

"That's Talya," the Cetra answered. 

"Talya?" Reeve asked before she could go on. He sounded as though he recognized the name. 

"Yes. An ex-Turk, so maybe you've heard of her. I think she was originally assigned to Hojo during the Jenova Project and never left his service. She's been experimented on, though, so she's similar to Vincent." 

"So we gotta kick both their asses to get to Hojo?" Cid asked, frowning. 

"That's right." 

"Hojo should be a piece of cake," Yuffie declared. 

"I don't think so," Tifa disagreed. "He has Jenova in him, doesn't he? He'll have some strong spells to throw at us..." 

"Great," Reno commented. "Anyone else we have to worry about?" 

Aeris shook her head. "Not that I know of. But I'm guessing that Minerva will be guarding Sephiroth, so if you defeat her, you'll gain him as an ally." 

"But just how much will he be able to help?" Katrina asked. "You said he might not remember his spells and all." 

The Cetra frowned. "Maybe he's forgotten them, but his skill as a swordsman should count for something." 

"So, is that everything?" Reeve asked. 

"I think so. If I've forgotten anything, you can ask Vincent. He'll be going with you, of course." 

"Dangit," Yuffie muttered. "He gives me the creeps." 

"Live with it," Cid told her flatly. 

"Cid? Did you bring the Highwind?" Cloud queried. 

"Sure did. I set her down a ways west o' here." 

The blond nodded and climbed to his feet. "All right, everyone. Let's get going." As the others headed for the gate, he turned to Aeris. "You want to go get Vincent?" 

She nodded and hurried off to the inn. A soft "Come in" from Vincent answered her knock, and she stepped inside the room. 

"Everyone's leaving," she told him as she walked over to the bed. Lucrecia, she saw, was still asleep. "I'll tell her where you went, all right?" 

Vincent hesitated and then got up from the bed. "...and tell her that I promise to bring her son back to her." 

Aeris nodded. "What about promising not to get yourself killed?" 

He looked down at her thoughtfully for a moment. "That, too, shall be my promise to her." 

She smiled. "Go on, now. You shouldn't keep everyone waiting. I'll take good care of Lucrecia, so you won't have to worry." 

"Thank you." Vincent brushed past her and went on outside. 

Aeris followed him at a slower pace, joining Katrina, Nanaki, and Miera at the gate. Most of her friends had started down the stairs after Cid as soon as Vincent had arrived. Reno hung back to blow Aeris a kiss before he followed them. She shook her head at him. 

Cloud was the last to go. "We'll kill Hojo and bring Sephiroth back no problem," he assured her. 

"I wish I could go with you..." 

He shook his head, a grin tugging at his mouth. "I can't let you; it's too dangerous." 

She smiled slightly. "You'd better get going," she told him, "or they'll take off without you. Call me if anything comes up." 

"I will." 

"Goodbye then." 

"Bye." With a wave, Cloud turned down the steps, taking them two at a time to catch up with the others. 

Aeris watched them until they were out of sight, then turned to head back to the inn. Katrina went with her, sitting down on the other bed as Aeris bent down by Lucrecia. 

"So that's Sephiroth's mom, huh?" Katrina remarked. "She's pretty." 

"She is," the Cetra agreed. "Sephiroth must have gotten everything from her, because I certainly don't see any of Hojo in him." 

"I've never met Hojo, but from everything I've heard about him, you're right." The girl paused, and then asked, "Are Lucrecia and Vincent going to get together?" 

"I don't see why they wouldn't." 

"Then Sephiroth will have parents, right? That'd be cool." 

Aeris nodded her agreement. "He certainly was a neglected child... I think he still feels that way." 

"He shouldn't feel that way." 

"No, he shouldn't, not when he has so many who do care about him." 

Katrina's gaze on her grew more scrutinizing. "Looks like somebody's got a crush," she remarked. 

The Cetra shook her head. "No, it's not that. I don't know him well enough to... I'm just worried about him. You are, too, aren't you?" 

"Yeah," the girl admitted. 

"But from here, about all we can do is pray." 

To this, Katrina did not reply. 

Aeris sighed wearily. "Do you mind if I go back to sleep for a little while? I still haven't got my strength back, and I didn't sleep well last night." 

"Go ahead and rest. I'll watch Lucrecia." 

The Cetra smiled gratefully and moved to the other bed, lying back and closing her eyes. Despite her worries, sleep found her almost immediately.

* * *

Author's Notes  
I'm not sure if I ever made it crystal clear, but yes, Sephiroth and Minerva shared Aeris's dream. Actually, I think I did something to explain it in the Afterwards, but since that's been cut from this version, this brief statement will have to do. Also, if the italics in Sephiroth's and Minerva's scenes are confusing, they're meant to be. Even Sephiroth had trouble distinguishing his own thoughts from the foreign ones at first, so you should, too. 

As far as the rest of it... well, erm, I had Barret stay behind because I really don't enjoy writing him. heh. I mean, I've got nothing against the guy, but writing him isn't much fun at all. He only makes one brief appearance in the entire story. 


	16. Return to Midgar

**Chapter 15: Return to Midgar**

Reno remembered the airship from his days with Shinra, but Cid had made some changes since then. The Avalanche crew commented on what a good job the pilot had done in rebuilding it, so he guessed that it had sustained some damage earlier, probably from when Holy had blasted out of the Northern Crater. 

A rope ladder led the way up to the deck, and Cid was the first up, grinning from the praise of his friends. The rest of the Avalanche crew went up after him. Reno tried to climb up after Tifa, but Rude put a restraining hand on his shoulder and shook his head. The redhead wondered if he still had that insane crush on Tifa. Sure, she was hot, but she was way out of his league! That, and she was married. To Cloud. Which made her damn near impossible to get. 

Reno ended up bringing up the rear, and the only ones still out on deck were Elena and and anxious-looking Yuffie who stood gripping the railing so tightly her knuckles were white. 

"Are you _sure_ it's better out here?" she was asking Elena, looking a bit green already. 

"Yeah, I'm sure," the blond answered. "I _have_ ridden the Highwind before, you know." 

Shaking his head, Reno continued on to the bridge of the ship, where the rest of their odd party had assembled. He had to admit, he felt uncomfortable here among so many people who had been his enemies. Reeve and Rude had both taken refuge near an unoccupied control panel, but Reno wasn't sure he wanted to join them just yet. Surely there was something he could learn from the Avalanche crew. 

At last he noticed Vincent in the most isolated corner of the bridge, and he made his way over to him. The guy was a fellow Turk--well, ex-Turk--so Reno figured he wouldn't be as spiteful as the others. Although he had to admit he looked kinda intimidating, with the vampire-wannabe getup and the red eyes. Actually, the red eyes were pretty cool, he amended. 

"So," he began amiably, "I guess you're coming along for your girlfriend, huh?" 

Vincent glanced at him with a look that would probably have unnerved most people, but Reno was used to worse. "'Girlfriend'?" 

"You know, Sephiroth's mom. Aeris said she was your 'lost love,' so I figure that's what she meant." 

The man's gaze left him. "I am doing this for many reasons," he said. 

"Uh-huh," Reno said, eyeing him curiously. "Is he really sane again?" he asked. "Sephiroth, I mean." 

"He is," Vincent replied. "Aeris's word is not enough for you?" 

The redhead shrugged. "I guess I shouldn't doubt it. I mean, he killed her, so she oughta be pretty unbiased. Still, Aeris is Aeris. She doesn't always think like other people." 

"So you came for my opinion?" 

"You're the only one here who's seen him, aren't you?" 

The man did not reply. 

"Well, whatever." He leaned back against the wall, putting his hands behind his head. "So, Aeris is single now, huh?" 

"She won't take to you," Vincent stated. 

Reno looked at him in surprise. "Oh? And how would you know?" 

"It's obvious her heart is elsewhere." 

"Yeah, yeah, Cloud and all that. But I hear he's a married man now. She'll have to get over him, and what better way than to get a new guy?" 

Vincent scoffed quietly and closed his eyes. 

"What's it to you, anyway? You've already got a girl. Unless... don't tell me she doesn't like you back." 

"You don't know what you are talking about," the ex-Turk said, a warning in his voice. 

"Man, unrequited love," Reno commented, shaking his head. "That's gotta suck." 

Vincent opened his eyes to fix the redhead with a glare. Okay, so maybe he wasn't used to worse looks than those Vincent could give. 

"Well, uh, don't give up on her," the Turk advised. "I'll be shutting up now and going over thataway." A nod from Vincent showed his appreciation for the silence, and Reno headed over to join Rude. 

Following his friend's gaze towards the front of the ship, he shook his head. "Jeez, Rude, you still pining after _her_?" he asked, keeping his voice low. 

Reeve glanced at them, and Rude only closed his eyes. 

"You gotta get over it," Reno told him. "She's hot and all, but hell, she's married now." 

"I know," Rude acknowledged quietly. 

The redhead shrugged and folded his arms. "I guess that doesn't mean you can't enjoy looking," he conceded, taking a moment to admire Tifa for himself. Unfortunately, she had taken up wearing pants, which, while they were close-fitting, did not offer the same view of her long legs or the prospect of panty-flashing. She still wore a tank top, though, and he guessed there wasn't really any way to cover those kind of curves. 

Why did pretty girls always go for the shy, quiet types? he wondered. Elena, who he had to admit was pretty (even if he would never dream of going out with her), had liked Tseng. Tseng, who barely had said anything outside of his duty. Even now, she definitely liked Rude better than the loud redhead. Aeris had fallen in love with Cloud. Tifa had ended up married to the guy. 

Well, Cloud could go screw himself, Reno decided. He didn't want to think about him screwing Tifa, because that was just unfair. 

Pushing off from the wall, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and wandered out to the deck, leaning back against the railing some distance from Elena and Yuffie. The blond glanced at him, a frown coming to her face, and he grinned widely in reply, only making her frown deepen. 

It took Yuffie a moment to notice him. She looked pretty miserable, but she managed to grin slightly and even let go her strangle-hold of the railing for a moment to wave. "Hi, Reno." 

She motioned for him to join them, and he did, surprised by the ninja's openness. After all, the last time he had seen her, they had been enemies. Had their battles not made much of an impression on her because she had been so young? Or maybe she remembered that time in Wutai when he'd saved her from Don Corneo. Elena had never forgiven him for that incident, but in maybe in Yuffie's mind, it balanced out the things he'd done while on duty. 

"How you doin'?" he asked her, ignoring Elena entirely. 

She shrugged as she gripped the railing again. "Well, I haven't thrown up yet..." She swallowed and managed a sheepish grin. "How 'bout you?" 

"Well, I don't have a girl at the moment, but other than that I'm fine." 

Elena rolled her eyes at him, and he stuck out his tongue. 

"Hmm," Yuffie pondered, suppressing a smirk. "Any crushes?" 

"Not really," Reno answered honestly. 

"I heard you were flirting with Aeris," the ninja prompted. 

He only shrugged. "So what if I was? She's a pretty girl, and we're old friends." 

"All the more reason you'd like her," Elena put in. "With you, when you're friends with a girl for this long, that means you _really_ like her, and it's not just a one-night deal." 

"I've stuck around with you, and I _definitely_ don't have a crush on you," Reno pointed out. 

She frowned. "Since when were we friends?" 

"I dunno. Seems like we should be, considering we live together and all." 

Yuffie perked up. "You two live together?" 

Both Turks looked at her in alarm. 

"No," Elena said quickly. "I mean..." 

"Yeah," Reno interrupted, "but, um, Rude lives there, too." 

Elena nodded in agreement, as if this was supposed to make everything clear to the mischievous Yuffie. 

"So what if he lives there?" she asked, her grin broadening. "I'll bet you two share a room!" 

"Ah! We don't!" Elena exclaimed defensively. 

"Only because Rude can't stand her snoring!" Reno blurted at the same time. 

She turned to glare at him, fists on hips. "I do NOT snore!" 

"Like hell you do!" 

Yuffie was cracking up, her airsickness forgotten. "Listen to you two!" she managed through her laughs. "You... you could be--brother and sister!" 

"What?" they both cried in unison. 

"What's all this commotion about?" 

All three turned to look at Reeve as he stepped out onto the deck, closing the door behind him. They exchanged glances. 

"Um," Elena said eloquently. 

"Yuffie was--" Reno began. 

"Sibling rivalry!" the ninja declared, still grinning. 

Reeve shook his head. "Figures. These two have never gotten along." He joined the three of them at the railing, looking out at the view. "There's Gold Saucer," he commented. 

Yuffie immediately turned to look. "I wish we could stop there," she said, sobering a little. "It was really fun there." 

"Yeah," Reeve agreed. "I went there once." 

The ninja looked at him in confusion. "Weren't you... I mean... when you were Cait Sith?" 

"That's different," he said. "It's not the same as actually being there." He shook his head as he watched the tree-like structure pass by. "Maybe we'll go there to celebrate when this is finally over." 

"Tired already, Reeve?" Reno asked with a smirk. 

Reeve shook his head, his tone serious. "No. I mean, it isn't like this just started. You guys weren't even born yet when the whole thing began. Come to think of it, none of us were." 

"Um," Elena said, "exactly where is the beginning, and exactly what is it?" 

"I was thinking when Shinra discovered Jenova, but no, it would've been back when Jenova first came here. That was when the Planet was wounded, and that's when its presence started screwing things up. And then, once Hojo got involved, things got worse that much faster." 

"You put it that way, and it seems like a hell of a long time," Reno commented. 

Reeve nodded, and the four of them remained silent for most of the trip. Only when they were approaching Midgar did they make any real attempts at conversation. 

"So, Reno," Yuffie was saying, "I never really got it on whether or not you like Aeris." 

"Huh? I thought I told you I didn't." 

"No," Elena told him, "you just changed the subject." 

"I thought it was Tseng who liked Aeris," Reeve said in confusion. 

Reno had found his way out. "What about _you_? You're the one who made a deal to go out with her if you read her fortune." 

"I, uh... that was only..." Reeve faltered, looking around for an escape route. "Look," he said suddenly, pointing. "We're almost there." 

They all turned to look at Midgar, falling silent immediately. Most of the debris had been cleared from Sectors 5 and 6, and a few new buildings had sprung up there, built from scrap metal. The other parts of the city, however, remained a tangle of jagged metal plating, huge chunks of broken concrete, and mangled office buildings. The once reliable train system had simply disappeared, buried beneath the rubble. It was as if someone had stuffed Midgar into a blender and dumped it back out again. 

In short, it looked terrible. 

The four stood silent, staring soberly at the city's carcass. At length, desperately needing to lighten the mood, Yuffie spoke up, "So," she said to Elena in a faltering voice, "what is it, all your friends have crushes on Aeris?" 

"I do not have a crush on Aeris," Reno stated flatly. "That's Reeve you're thinking of." 

Reeve shot him a look as Elena turned to him. "That's right," she said. "Care to explain that deal you made?" 

He scratched his head. "Maybe I had a crush on her back then," he admitted, "but it was more a spur of the moment kind of thing. Reno's the one who was always chasing after her," he pointed out, returning the favor. 

"That was my job!" Reno protested. 

"Off-duty, too," Reeve added. 

"So?" the redhead queried. "She's cute, all right?" 

"Are you gonna try to hook up with her then?" Yuffie wondered. 

Reno shrugged. 

Elena snorted. "Nah, he knows he doesn't have a chance." 

He glared at her blackly, but he knew she was probably right. Maybe Cloud was out of the picture, but that didn't mean she'd be willing to start dating a Turk. He had to admit, though, she'd be one hell of a catch, so maybe it was worth a try, even if he'd just get shot down again. 

Yuffie let out a sudden yelp as the airship began to descend and clutched the railing even more tightly. 

"Jeez," Reno remarked. "Is it really that bad?" 

"Yes," she clipped. 

Soon enough, the Highwind was hovering just above the ground, and Reno took the liberty of tossing the rope ladder back over the side. Cloud an Tifa were the first to come out onto the deck, followed by Rude, then Cid, and finally Vincent, trailing quietly behind. 

Reno gestured to the ladder, grinning at Elena and Yuffie. "Ladies first." 

Yuffie practically bolted for the ladder, eager to get off the airship and stand on solid ground again, no matter how unpleasant the ground actually was. The others followed her down with less enthusiasm, and the motley group assembled on the ground. 

Cloud automatically assumed the position of leader, and no matter how much Reno resented it, he realized the Avalanche crew outnumbered his Turks; more of them would listen to Cloud, and the rest would just have to deal with it. 

"We should split up," Cloud said. "It may not be the Number 8 reactor, so we ought to check the Number 1 and 7, too." His eyes scanned over his companions, weighing their strengths and weaknesses and determining who would work best together... and considering how much he trusted the Turks. 

"Tifa, Reno, you're with me," he decided. "Vincent, you've got Yuffie and Elena, and Cid, you take Reeve and Rude." He nodded to himself, as though satisfied with the grouping, though Cid cursed under his breath, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. Reno wondered if he was only complaining for the sake of complaining; getting stuck with Rude and Reeve couldn't be that bad. Reno figured Vincent had it the worst, though he guessed he was the only one who could tolerate both Yuffie and Elena. 

"Don't trust us, huh?" Reno asked Cloud, noticing that he had split up the three Turks. "Guess I can't blame you. Oh, well. At least I get to be in the group with Tifa." 

The brunette shot him a glare, but he only grinned back at her. 

"Where're we headed?" Cid asked, leaning on his spear as he took a drag from his cigarette. 

"You take your group to check out the Number 1. Vincent, you head for Sector 7, and we'll check out the Number 8 reactor. If anyone finds anything, check in with me, and we'll go from there." 

They all nodded and went their separate ways. Reno followed Cloud and Tifa into Sector 8, trailing behind with his nightstick in hand. He knew he wasn't wanted here, but that was hardly news to him. Few people liked Turks, even this long after Shinra's fall, and these two were no exceptions. 

After walking a while in silence, Cloud glanced at him over his shoulder, frowning. "Reno, I have to ask--why are you even helping us?" 

The Turk shrugged. "Hey, I've got no love for Hojo either. Besides, Aeris was the one who told me about this." 

Cloud arched an eyebrow. "What does Aeris matter to you?" 

"So I'm not madly in love with her like you are. She's still my friend." 

"Friend?" the blond scoffed. "Hojo had you chasing after her so she could be one of his lab specimens. What kind of friend is that?" 

"You may remember it was Tseng who caught her," Reno pointed out. "There's a reason I never did, and if you think it's because she was just that strong, you're an idiot." 

"But how could you've been friends in the first place?" Tifa wondered, sounding genuinely curious, unlike Cloud. 

"That's what off-duty time is for," was all Reno said. 

Cloud and Tifa exchanged looks, not sure what to make of this. 

"Why did you think I was doing this?" the redhead asked them. "To help Sephiroth?" he scoffed. "We're here for the same reasons, like it or not." 

Cloud grunted, but made no other reply. Reno hadn't expected one, so that was all right. None of them made any further attempts at conversation as they started up the pile of rubble to the Number 8 reactor.

* * *

She could've gotten stuck with a better group, Yuffie decided. Well, Elena seemed pretty nice, but she'd rather have Red along. Despite having picked on him all the time, she had really admired his strength, his intelligence, and his sense of duty. He had been so mature for his age, which had also served to make her feel younger than she had been, and maybe a little envious. 

She had been sixteen then, but everyone had thought of her as a child, a brat, a little kid in need of a spanking. Probably, they still thought that. Though she wouldn't admit it to anyone, one of her reasons for coming to help was to prove to them that she had changed since then. She didn't want the friends she respected most to think of her as a kid anymore. 

Yuffie lifted her head to study her companions, glad for the moment that she was at the back of the group; that way, they would neither notice her scrutiny, nor the expressions playing across her face. 

She wondered how Vincent felt, faced with the opposite problem from hers: he acted older than he looked. But then, she guessed he really _was_ a lot older. 

He didn't look half as scary from behind, she realized, studying his back. In fact, he looked kind of cool with that cape flowing behind him. What bothered her were his freaky red eyes and sickly pale skin. But, at the same time, that frightening visage also fascinated her. Because, of course, those red eyes had a subtle slant to them, and his straight black hair had that same shine as her own. She had always wondered if he was Wutain. Had he seen her homeland before the war, before its downfall? 

Yuffie hated the way it was now, with everyone so docile and inactive. After Shinra's fall, she had gone back to her father to ask him again to do something, but he was just as lazy as ever, so she'd been forced to do what she could on her own. 

Which was hard, considering most of the townspeople had never been impressed with her. Never knowing or understanding her reasons, they had always thought her a silly little girl for running away from home. Still, she had at least managed to recruit some Wutains, the stronger ones, to help her out, and they had returned to the remains of an old harbor town not far from Wutai and set to work rebuilding. That way, there was a place for merchant ships to land, and Wutai's long stagnant trade could start to pick up. 

Sighing, the ninja admitted to herself that it would take many more years before Wutai finally reawakened. Until then, it would never be as lively as it had been in her mother's stories. 

At last they reached the wall of debris that would lead them up to the Number 7 reactor. Yuffie did her best to avoid the sharp edges of metal that stuck out every which way, but by the time they reached the top of the wall, her arms and legs were streaked with slashes of red. She took a moment to cast Cure on herself, and Elena did likewise, muttering under her breath as she inspected several tears in her clothing. Vincent stood waiting for them, looking completely unharmed. 

Yuffie turned to look out at the remains of Sector 7, which, according to the Shinra, had been destroyed by Avalanche. "So, who really destroyed the pillar?" she asked, turning to her companions. 

Elena blinked, looking at her with some surprise. "You mean you didn't know?" When Yuffie shook her head, the blond shifted uncomfortably, looking out at the ruins. "It was Reno, actually." 

"Reno? Why?" 

"The order came down from the President," Elena explained. "Avalanche's base was somewhere in there, so he said, 'crush it.'" 

"Shinra destroyed an entire sector just to get rid of a few terrorists?" Yuffie asked skeptically. 

The Turk shrugged. "It was before I got promoted, really, so I'm not sure why they went to such lengths. I do know that it was one of the few orders Reno ever protested, but he had to go through with it anyway." 

Vincent turned and moved on, paying no mind to his companions. They hurried to follow. 

"How can you accept that kind of job?" Yuffie asked as they walked. "Having to do all those terrible things...?" 

Elena's gaze was on the debris beneath her feet. "It paid well..." 

"And all you cared about was the money?" the ninja demanded, suddenly disgusted with her two companions. 

"You are not one to talk, Yuffie," Vincent said quietly from his place at the lead. 

She flushed in embarrassment but shook her head. "That's different! I never _killed_ anyone!" 

"You try not to think about what you're doing," Elena said soberly, "and then it doesn't feel so wrong. I wasn't a Turk long enough to get into any of that, but I've talked about it with Reno and Rude. Reno says he didn't drink half so much before he joined the Turks." 

Yuffie was still shaking her head. "But, I still don't see how anyone could go into that willingly." 

"People will do a lot of things for money," Vincent said, not looking back when he spoke, "and those of us with the least compassion became Turks." 

The ninja fell silent, her uneasiness about being near Vincent only intensifying. No one spoke after that, and Vincent quickened his pace, forcing the two following to speed up as well. Yuffie stared at the back of Elena's head for a while, willing her to talk, but the woman did not even seem to notice. The ninja didn't want to end the conversation there, but it seemed her companions weren't willing to say anything more on the subject. 

Being a Turk, she decided, just screwed people up, and maybe she had better leave this line of conversation for another day. They were approaching the reactor, and if Hojo was hiding there, then she would need all her concentration for fighting, not for analyzing the many problems hounding her companions. 

In any other surroundings, Yuffie considered, she would have described the reactor as a pile of junk, but here it stood far stronger than the crumpled homes or collapsed office buildings around it. Meteor had bent it severely out of shape, but had not toppled it, and the Shinra logo still stood on its front, faded yet bold in comparison to everything else. Rust covered the metal frame, and much of the plating that had once covered its sides had gone missing, tossed elsewhere. Underground pipes and wires that had once directed Mako power to various parts of the city had been uprooted and lay bare and naked and broken across their path. 

Vincent led them to the reactor's entrance, a gaping black hole in the already-wounded building, the door completely torn off. The ex-Turk walked inside without any hesitation, but Elena hung back uncertainly. Gathering her wits, Yuffie glanced at the blond, and then followed Vincent inside.

* * *

Cid nearly breathed a sigh of relief when they finally reached the Number 1 reactor. His two companions hadn't said a word the entire time, and, while he wasn't a big conversationalist, this kind of silence bothered him. He had expected Rude to keep his mouth shut because, really, he had only ever heard the guy say three or four words. 

Reeve, on the other hand, he had expected to at least make some attempt. If Cait Sith was any example of his personality, then he liked being around people, and yet, so far, he'd barely said anything to anyone besides Aeris. Maybe the guy was shy, but why the hell would he be timid around Cid? He could understand being shy around women, but this? And hell, he already knew Rude, didn't he? What, was he afraid of getting cussed out? 

The pilot could only shake his head as they reached the entrance to the reactor, finding it blocked by fallen pipelines and sheets of metal. "Hey, Reeve, could you gimme a hand with this?" he asked. "Rude, you, too." 

This didn't even get a 'sure' out of either of them. They just came over to help him pull the debris away from the entrance. It took them a fair amount of sweating and grunting, but they finally made an opening wide enough for even Rude to fit through. Cid led the way into the dark reactor, finding a few paces inside that he could not see a damn thing. Feeling smart, he pulled out his lighter and flipped it open, rewarded with a limited circle of vision. The structure's innards seemed largely unharmed, he noted as he led his group along the dark walkways. 

After crossing a long bridge, they found their way blocked by a thick metal security door. "Damn," he muttered, holding his lighter closer in hopes of revealing some way to open it. 

Reeve stepped forward. "The doors are battery-powered, so the controls might still work." 

"Huh? Why not just tie them into the rest of the system?" 

The man shrugged as he took Cid's lighter and held it up to the keypad beside the door. "If the power grid cut out, the employees wouldn't have been able to get out. Shinra had the doors put on a different power source for security reasons." He frowned at the numbers a moment longer. "Ah! Now I remember." He punched in a series of numbers, and the door slid open with little complaint. 

Cid let Reeve lead them through the reactor, as he'd only been inside the one in Corel, and eventually they reached the Mako depository. The pilot wrinkled up his nose; even though the pit was empty, the place still reeked of Mako. 

Turning away from the abyss, he followed Reeve down the walkway to the reactor's control room so that they could check to make sure nothing was running. Cid already knew, though, that whoever they were looking for wasn't here. He hoped that whichever of the other groups chanced upon them were well-prepared.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Not too much has changed in this part, although I do like the brief exchange between Reno and Vincent a lot better in this version. It seems a lot more natural, and it makes me laugh. I've always considered dialogue to be my strong point, but a lot of the conversations in the original just seem strained in retrospect, as if I'd shoved Reno in Vincent's direction and told him "Here, you are going to say this" instead of getting him on the Highwind and seeing how he reacted. Um. If that makes any sense at all. >> 


	17. Stronger Than You Think

**Chapter 16: Stronger Than You Think**

"What was that song?" 

Minerva started and turned her attention towards the wall from where the voice had come. She chided herself for not having heard the opening and closing of the door that would have marked Sephiroth's return. Or perhaps he had been there all along, choosing to remain silent until now, but she had not sensed his presence. 

"It was nothing," she answered, a bit more sharply than she had intended. 

"...I liked it." The reply was so soft she almost did not hear it. 

She faltered. "Really?" 

"Yes," he replied, sounding earnest. "Where did you hear it? I wouldn't think you would have access to music here." 

"I don't. I... thought it up myself." He did not reply to this, and Minerva shifted uncertainly, deciding to change the subject. "How are you doing? Has the Professor... called for you yet?" 

"Yes, he has. Has he always been so harsh?" 

She blinked in confusion. "You mean you do not remember?" 

"Not everything. It comes back to me when I sleep." 

This was another surprise. "You sleep?" 

"Bringing Aeris back was... tiring. I scarcely need the rest anymore, but I find it a welcome respite from this place. You should try it; sleep often brings dreams." 

"Nightmares as well, I expect." 

Something made him pause. "Yes. Nightmares, too." 

Minerva looked around uncertainly, as though something else might be in the room with her. Satisfied that she was alone, she laid her hand against the wall, and it turned transparent beneath her fingers. Sephiroth was sitting on a stool near her, and he started. 

"This is better," Minerva said. 

He nodded in agreement. "I was wondering," he began slowly, "how old are you?" 

"Seventeen," she replied. "If you don't remember, why are you asking?" 

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking perplexed. 

"In the last months that you were in the lab, you would not have seen Talya. That was around the time that I was born, and I expect you would have been suspicious... But if you do not remember that, what do you care about my age?" 

"I was merely curious," Sephiroth said. "So, do you know who your father is?" 

"No," she lied. "I have access to my files, but his name is never mentioned." 

"You don't even have the slightest suspicion?" 

"No." 

_What harm is there in telling him?_ came the voice. 

_He does not need to know_, Minerva stated. 

_There is little else that you can do to break his spirit; the Cetra has already crushed it. _

What are you talking about? I was always weak. 

Minerva blinked, looking sharply at Sephiroth. "Did you...?" 

_Oh, so you've both discovered that you do not require voices to speak to one another. I was wondering when you would. _

Shut up, both Minerva and Sephiroth thought in unison. 

_You can't expect me not to watch this little family reunion. _

Family? Sephiroth demanded. 

_Yes. My dear, sweet children, finally able to see each other._

He stiffened. _You are... _

So you remember me! I would not wish to be forgotten. Even by a failure. 

Leave us! Minerva commanded. This could not be good for Sephiroth. _If I ever lay eyes upon you, I swear I will kill you. _

That's a foolish oath; you lack the power to destroy me. Both of you do. Besides, you'd be better off getting rid of the Cetra. 

The Cetra have done us no harm, she said firmly. _Aeris, least of all._

Sephiroth looked a bit startled, and Minerva wondered if she had used that argument with him, too. 

_Hmph_, Jenova said. _It was the Cetra whom I befriended so long ago, and it was they who beat me into submission and bound me in ice. They are an unforgiving, intolerant race. They hated and feared me because I was not of this planet, and no other reason. _

Lies, Sephiroth spat, and Minerva regarded him questioningly. She had heard Jenova's story before, and though she knew it was a lie or at least a severely twisted half-truth, she had never heard the true story. 

_You were the one to strike first_, he went on. _Your virus nearly wiped them out. The ones who survived had every right to do what they did. They should have killed you then so we would not have to deal with you now._

But Jenova was not about to give up. _That is the story the Cetra have passed on to the humans. It is little more than a lie. _They_ attacked me without reason, and I gave them the virus to defend myself! And because of it, they made me suffer for _two thousand years_, alone and unable to move! But think, I could, and oh, how long I plotted my revenge, only to have that stupid Cetra girl steal it from me when she called Holy and the Lifestream to stop Meteor. And now she has you both defending her! My children, on _her_ side!_

Minerva had not heard this before. Rather than trying to persuade them subtly, Jenova spoke with a fury uncommon to her. To hear it as her own thoughts was even more disconcerting. Jenova always spoke to her in her own voice, and she wondered if Sephiroth heard it as his own as well. 

_Leave us, Jenova_, Minerva ordered coldly. _We want no part of your plans. In fact, if you come for the Cetra on your own, we will protect her from you. _

Foolish children! She will destroy you in the end. She wants you dead_, do you understand? _

You are wrong, Sephiroth stated angrily. _Aeris is no enemy of ours. Now shut up, for I have nothing more to say to your filth. _

Your confidence will fail you later on. She has sent her friends to kill you and your father. 

He is not my father! he snapped. _And she would never ask them to kill me! _

See for yourself when the time comes. Perhaps she will even kill you herself. Or, better yet, make a pretend rescue attempt, just as you are dying, so that you will still remember her fon-- 

Shut up! Minerva interrupted fiercely, seeing that Sephiroth's eyes had reached a dangerous emerald. _This argument will get you nowhere. Even you must know that._

Jenova scoffed, but she did fall silent. 

Not relaxing, Minerva studied Sephiroth questioningly. "Are you all right?" she asked aloud, tired of speaking without voices. There was something more satisfying, even comforting, about saying things out loud, about hearing her own voice, and, more importantly, hearing Sephiroth's. 

He frowned, but nodded slightly. His eyes were slowly returning to a neutral blue-green. "I am fine," he deadpanned. 

"She can be... quite aggravating at times." 

Sephiroth snorted. "Aggravating is hardly the word." 

There was an awkward silence between them. 

"Do you think her friends are really coming?" Minerva asked, not sure which answer she would prefer. 

"To kill Hojo perhaps. And perhaps they'll try to kill me, too, even if she asked them not to." 

"They hate you that much?" 

"Who wouldn't, after what I did to them?" 

"Aeris doesn't seem to." 

He lowered his gaze. "Aeris is not like the others. We knew each other as children, and she has understood me ever since then." 

Minerva blinked in surprise. "But... you are eight years older. She would have been too young, no? And the Professor would not have let you see each other." 

"I... I could get out of my room if I wished to," he said quietly, not masking the emotion in his voice. "And I talked to her sometimes. But then Hojo must have caught us, and he forbade it, and... he started calling for her then. And then... I cannot remember." 

Minerva frowned at her lap, her thoughts returning to Aeris's friends. "When they come," she said, "I will have to fight them. I don't think that they can beat me." 

Sephiroth looked up. "You could help them instead. Would that be so hard?" 

"Yes. I... If I disobey the Professor... I cannot." 

"Why not?" he pressed. "What kind of hold can he possibly have on you?" 

She shook her head slowly. "I have tried to disobey him before, and the pain was unbearable, even for me. I cannot." 

He frowned, and neither spoke for several minutes. 

"Could you... sing that song from before?" Sephiroth asked abruptly. 

"W-what?" Minerva stammered. 

"It was pretty." 

She dropped her gaze. "I am sorry, but... I cannot. No one was supposed to hear that." Footsteps sounded in the hall, and she lifted her head. "I believe I am wanted now." 

"I shall speak with you later, then," he said quietly. 

She nodded and let the wall go opaque. 

A moment later, Talya opened the door. "They're here," she said, smiling apologetically. "You know the drill." 

Minerva got to her feet, walking silently to the door. 

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for--" 

"You were following orders," Minerva cut in harshly, not wanting to hear such lies. "There is no need to apologize."

* * *

Aeris awoke from a dreamless sleep and sat up, gaze wandering to the opposite bed where Lucrecia still slept, Katrina keeping watch. The girl looked up at her and saw the question in her eyes. "She woke up once for a few minutes, and I told her everyone had gone to rescue Seph." She grinned as she added, "She thought my nickname for him was cute." 

The Cetra smiled, inclined to agree. "How long have I been asleep?" she wondered. 

Katrina shrugged. "I'm not sure, but it's gotten pretty late now. I ate dinner a while ago." 

Nodding, Aeris got to her feet and stretched unhurriedly. 

"Did you sleep well?" the girl asked her. "Better than before, I mean?" 

"Yes. Thankfully no nightmares... although I suppose some dreams might provide warning." 

"What do you mean? They tell you the future?" 

Aeris shook her head, frowning. "Not quite. Messages from the dead or... the subconscious thoughts of the living--but they get distorted, so I can't understand them very well." 

Katrina leaned forward, intrigued. "Cetra can talk to the dead, right? Do your parents talk to you and all? I'm assuming they were Cetra, too." 

"My mother was..." 

"But your dad wasn't? Does that make you a half-Cetra?" 

Aeris sat back down on the edge of her bed and studied her hands, frowning thoughtfully. "I guess so." 

"Did you like your parents?" Katrina went on. 

"I never knew my father. My mother died when I was seven, but I got to know her again during the past five years. Although, we haven't really spoken since Sephiroth brought me back." She looked up. "What about you, Katrina? How old are you anyway?" 

"Eighteen. And, well... We never really got along that well. I'm sure they mean well and all, but we're obviously on different wave lengths. That's sort of why I left home, really. They were going to send me to live with my uncle in Junon, but I can't stand the city, not to mention my uncle." 

Aeris nodded in understanding, sensing that Katrina wanted some sort of approval. "How long has it been since you left?" 

"A week maybe? I'm not really sure. So much has happened, I don't even know what day it is." 

"I know how you feel," the Cetra replied. "In any case, your parents must be worried. You should get word to them that you're all right." 

Katrina looked surprised. "You don't think I should go back?" 

"Why should you? You're old enough to be on your own, and they were going to send you away anyway. Besides, you seem to be doing fine here." 

The girl smiled sheepishly. "I haven't been here for very long, though." 

"I'm sure someone would be kind enough to take you in for a while, until you find your feet." 

"I guess..." 

Aeris smiled encouragingly, but she got to her feet again. "I'd... like to speak with my mother," she said. "Talking with you, I realize there are some things I want to ask her." 

"Go ahead," Katrina told her. "I don't mind." 

With a grateful nod, the Cetra turned out of the inn and headed outside. It was dark, and no evidence of the sun's light remained in the sky. The Candle was likewise unoccupied, and she made her way over to it, seating herself before the flame and focusing her thoughts inwards. 

"Mom?" she called softly. "I need to talk to you." 

_What is it?_ came Ifalna's reply. 

"I... Well, have you been watching at all?" 

_Constantly. I've been so worried about you. All of us have._

"How are they doing?" she wondered. 

_They've only just reached Midgar_, her mother said, her tone implying that Aeris ought to have known this. _It's really too soon to tell._

"I know," she sighed. "I just wish I could've gone with them. I want to help them so badly." 

_And you want to be near him._

"I do," Aeris admitted, realizing Ifalna was right. "I know I stayed behind for a reason, but... Isn't there anything I can do? I feel so useless here..." 

_I know this is hard for you, but it isn't safe for you to join them. You're in no condition to fight, and that could easily work to your enemies' advantage, like it did last time. Besides, Hojo will be after you specifically. It's in your best interest to stay._

"But, am I really any safer here? Maybe, with everyone away, Hojo will send Talya after me again." 

_You still have Nanaki and his friend to protect you, and... hopefully Cloud's attack on the lab will prevent them from attempting to capture you again._

"Hopefully," Aeris repeated. "There's still a chance, so maybe I would be safer with the others." 

_Aeris..._

"If I decide to go, you won't be able to stop me, Mom. You know that." 

Ifalna sighed. _I know._

She hesitated, and then said, "I have a question, though. About Sephiroth." 

There was a pause. _Go on._

"Well, I... It wasn't you who taught me to heal, was it?" 

_I always thought you learned on your own_, Ifalna said with mild confusion. _One day you couldn't, and the next you were trying to help me._

"Sephiroth taught me," Aeris said. "Or, at least, I think he did. It's hard to remember." 

_You were only about four or five at the time._

"I know. But I've been thinking about what Nanaki said. I learned how to resurrect Lucrecia from watching him; how can we do spells the same way if we're so different?" 

_Aeris, just because you draw your power from different sources doesn't mean that the way you cast a spell changes._

"Are you sure?" she wondered, furrowing her brow. 

_Well, no, but what other reason could there be?_

Aeris shook her head. "I don't know, but... using materia feels so different from casting my own magic, but there was something familiar about... how it felt when Sephiroth healed me." 

_I really don't know what to tell you. But, really, does it matter so much?_

"I just... Well, Sephiroth can do much more than heal, can't he? Or at least, he used to be able to. I want to learn other spells, too, so that I can help Cloud. Even if I'm no fighter, I'm so worried that he'll... that he'll get hurt if I'm not there to watch his back." 

_Is that the only reason you want to go?_

"No," she admitted. "I feel so guilty about what happened to Sephiroth." 

_Even though he was your murderer?_

"Mom! That doesn't matter anymore. He brought me back." 

_But that doesn't negate all the pain he caused you and your friends. I know your time here with us was tortuous for you, and if you had lived--_

"Please, stop. There's no going back, so let's not talk about what-ifs." 

She sensed that Ifalna had much more to say on this matter, but her mother voiced none of her concerns. _All right._

"Thank you." Aeris took a deep breath and let it out. "Is Sephiroth all right? Can you tell?" 

_He's doing about as well as can be expected._

She nodded sadly. "I guess that's the best I can hope for. Well, it looks like I have a lot of things to figure out." 

_Your spells, you mean?_

"That's right." 

_You don't owe Sephiroth anything, you know. What he did for us happened a long time ago._

Aeris chose not to reply. 

_Fine. Well, good luck. I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you._

"It's all right," she sighed. When her mother's presence had left her, Aeris closed her eyes and retreated to a different part of herself, searching for some obscure power that lay dormant within her. She had never wondered, until now, if she had the capacity for more than just healing.

* * *

With night reigning outside, no light came in through the entrance, and it was pitch black in the reactor. That mattered little to Vincent, however, and he crossed the few paces to where the walkway simply ended without hesitation. Yuffie stumbled into him from behind, but Elena came to stand beside him, squinting into the darkness ahead. 

"I can't see a thing in here," Yuffie remarked in annoyance. 

"Why are we stopped?" Elena asked. 

"I dunno. Vincent?" 

He glanced back at them, then gestured to the walkway's ragged edge. "The bridge is gone." 

"What do you mean?" the ninja asked in confusion. "What bridge?" 

"Must be the one leading into the reactor," Elena surmised. 

"I thought we were already in the reactor." 

The Turk sighed. "Sort of. Those were just the outer walls; the actual building is across the bridge. Or, at least, it would be, if there was a bridge." She paused, frowning. "I wish we could see better." 

"Oh!" Yuffie exclaimed suddenly. 

Vincent turned around to regard her in bemusement, watching as she dug around in a small pack and produced a tiny flashlight, which she promptly flicked on. Vincent flinched, the beam smarting in his eyes. 

"Whoops," the ninja apologized, averting the light. "Sorry about that." She stepped to the edge of the bridge's remains and aimed the beam downwards. It failed before reaching anything. "Shouldn't there be a bottom we can climb down to, then cross over to the other side and climb back up?" 

Elena shook her head. "It's not that simple. You'd have to go down fifty meters to get to a bottom, and that'd take you to the slums." She shook her head. "It seems like we can't go any further. Let's just tell Cloud and get out of here." 

"No," Vincent said firmly. "They may very well be inside this reactor. We will find a way across." 

Yuffie shook her head. "Easier said than done," she remarked, examining their surroundings with the flashlight. 

"Elena?" Vincent queried meaningfully. 

"W-what?" she asked, startled by his tone. 

"You know this reactor better than I do." 

She shifted uncertainly. "With how this place looked from the outside, I doubt any ways in through the underground are still serviceable. I mean, we could look, but it's more likely we'd end up flaying ourselves on all the metal debris." 

He frowned, looking back across the abyss to the reactor's entrance. The gap was much too wide to jump across, and no beam that they might salvage from the rubble would span it. He nearly cursed. This seemed a very deliberate inconvenience, and he felt certain that Hojo was here. 

"Hey, I know," Yuffie said suddenly. "Why don't you use Chaos to fly across? I mean, you'd sort of have to carry us, but you know..." 

Vincent stared at her, then shook his head slowly. "No." 

"Why n--?" 

"What's Chaos?" Elena interrupted. 

"A monster that has wings," Yuffie answered. "And wings, we could really use right now." 

"A monster?" the Turk repeated, taking a wary step back. "And Vincent... turns into it?" 

The ninja nodded, neither showing the slightest trace of fear at the prospect, nor seeming to find it very unusual. "Yeah. He's done it before; there's nothing to worry about." 

Vincent shook his head again. "If I force a transformation, I may not be able to control it." 

"Then how are we supposed to get to the other side?" 

He frowned, having no answer to give her. 

"That's what I thought!" Yuffie exclaimed. "Now figure out some way to transform controllably before I have to do something drastic." 

He regarded her with some amusement. "Are you threatening me?" 

The ninja put her hands on her hips and said flatly, "Yes, Vincent Valentine, Yuffie Kisaragi is threatening you. So get a move on." 

Vincent allowed himself a tiny smile before he closed his eyes and focused on Chaos. Perhaps, only perhaps, he did not have to complete the transformation. 

"Yuffie," Elena whispered, "was it me, or did he just _smile_?" 

"I think he smiled," Yuffie replied, awe in her voice. 

_Chaos, I need your wings._ He visualized the transformation as he wanted it, the wings growing from his back, and nothing more. If he thought of the full transformation, it would--No. Only think of the wings. Biting back a groan, he felt them straining at his back, piercing through his skin and then his shirt, and pushing away his cape. He stretched the wings as far as they would go, wincing, and found that they had finished growing. If he continued to focus as he was, the rest of the transformation would follow. 

Vincent opened his eyes and realized with some surprise that he was kneeling on the floor, gasping for breath. He twitched his wings experimentally, unused to the sensation of these appendages. He folded them carefully and reached for the railing to pull himself up. 

"Dude," Yuffie breathed. "That's pretty damn cool." 

"I wish I could do that," Elena remarked. 

But the ninja's expression sobered as her eyes came back to Vincent's face, and she shook her head. "It probably hurt, though, didn't it?" 

He nodded in answer, still catching his breath. This need for air must have come from Chaos; Vincent himself only drew breath to speak. At last he released his hold on the railing and straightened. "Are you two ready?" 

Yuffie nodded immediately, a grin coming to her face. "Looks like you can control it after all, huh?" Her voice held a triumphant 'I-told-you-so' quality, but Vincent chose not to reply. She shrugged and took a step closer to him. "So... we just hang on for the ride? You think you can carry both of us at once?" 

"It is probably best to take you across one at a time," he decided, not certain how much weight his wings could manage. He could feel Chaos stirring belligerently inside of him, and he could not help but sound a little anxious as he prompted Yuffie to hurry. 

Catching his urgency, she handed the flashlight to Elena and hesitantly came forward to slip her arms around his waist. Vincent was grateful that Elena refrained from commenting, and he put his human arm firmly around Yuffie. Unfurling his wings, he beat them cautiously, and quickly found a more natural rhythm. A part of him was very used to this. He carried Yuffie to the opposite side, alighting there himself only long enough to make certain she had her balance. He pretended not to notice the blush staining her cheeks. 

He flew back for Elena, who was even more hesitant than Yuffie to hold on to him--essentially, to embrace him, and who would want to put her arms around a man such as him, now half-monster in appearance as well? But hold on she did, and he took her across to where Yuffie waited outside the first security door. 

Elena retrieved the flashlight and turned it on again to study the door, but Vincent drew away from them, as though shrinking from the light. He had to undo this transformation, he knew, and he knelt down to focus on retracting these wings, Chaos's wings. 

"You're just gonna get rid of them?" Elena asked when she noticed his stance. "They might be useful ahead." 

"He has to turn all the way back human," Yuffie said slowly, as though voicing something she had just discovered. "If he doesn't, then it'll be really easy for Chaos to take complete control. Am I right, Vince?" 

He grunted his agreement as he felt the wings begin to draw back inside him. The pain returned, nearly overwhelming his senses, but he managed not to make a sound. He kept his eyes closed for the moments it took him to calm his mind after the transformation, and then he stood and turned to the doorway, trying to ignore the amplified presence of Chaos inside him. 

There was a keypad beside the door, its numbers glowing faintly. He studied this for a moment before turning to Elena. "The code has to have changed since I was last here," he stated. 

She gave a start, then stepped forward as Vincent moved aside. She punched in a few numbers, but the keypad only made a noise, and red light flashed above the numbers. Elena frowned and tried again, met with the same result. "It's been changed again," she said. "I don't know who could've--" 

"They're here," Yuffie said suddenly, interrupting her. "That's what it means, right?" 

Vincent nodded. "Would you call Cloud and tell him what we've found?" 

"Sure!" she said, as though he could not have asked a more simple task. Her eyes, however, belied her uneasiness as she pulled out her PHS and dialed their leader's number. "Hi, Cloud! Guess what?" 

Listening with half an ear, Vincent turned back to the door, gently pushing Elena aside. 

"No," Yuffie responded with a nervous giggle. "We think we found them. ... We're fine. We just... well, we got to the reactor, and the bridge was gone; it looked like somebody cut through the metal." 

The ex-Turk glanced at her, surprised that she had noticed that. He went back to his work, pulling at the metal panel just below the keypad. 

"Yeah, well," the ninja went on, "Vincent sprouted wings and flew us across. ... I _am_ being serious. ... So anyway, we've made it to the other side, and to the first--whatchacallit--security door, right? But somebody's changed the codes since Meteor." She paused, listening, then turned to Elena. "He wants to know who's capable of changing the codes." 

The blond thought for a moment. "The president, the department heads, the Turks... Yeah, that's about it." 

Yuffie relayed that to Cloud, and there was a pause. "Yeah, looks like Vincent's trying to find another way to open it right now. But none of us are hackers here." 

"Reno is," Elena put in. 

"Elena says Reno is, though. Anyway, what do you want us to do?" 

Having removed the panel to reveal a circuit board, Vincent paused to listen. 

"Okay. How are you planning on getting across the gap? ... I don't think so. It was hard enough on him last time. Maybe, do you have some rope or something? ... Yeah, you figure that out. And call the others. ... All right, see ya." She turned off the PHS and turned to her companions. 

"Unless we can get the door open somehow, we're supposed to wait here until they reach us." Yuffie put the PHS away and shifted her attention to the door. "So, Vinny, d'you think you can get it open?" 

He raised an eyebrow. "'Vinny'?" he wondered as he turned back to the circuit board. 

Vincent could imagine her grinning as she replied. "Don't like nicknames? Too bad. I think it's cute." 

"You do realize he's in his sixties, don't you?" Elena asked. 

"I know," the ninja answered, "but he's not like most old guys. He's cool." 

Deciding to ignore them, Vincent continued with his work, and the two women soon fell silent. He wondered if anyone would be waiting for them on the other side of the door. Elena and Yuffie were only human. But then, so were all the others. This realization brought a vague pang of regret, but he quickly reminded himself that they had each come for their own reasons, knowing the danger full well. Vincent had asked nothing of them. 

With a faint squeal, the metal door slid open to reveal the next chamber, which lay dark except for a pair of blue-green eyes. Vincent thought first of Lucrecia, then of Sephiroth, and then realized that those eyes had to belong to Minerva. 

She stepped forward to let the flashlight beam catch the side of her face and glint off her silver hair. "Hardly very efficient," she remarked to Vincent. "You are out of practice." 

He did not reply. 

"So that's Minerva," Yuffie said. 

"Another friend of yours?" the girl queried indifferently, her eyes flicking towards the ninja. Her gaze was appraising, and though he could see no weapons on her, Vincent was certain that she was armed. 

"You look even younger than I am," Yuffie commented with some surprise. 

"I probably am," she conceded. "So I know who I am killing, what is your name?" 

The ninja scoffed and drew herself up proudly. "You mean so you know who's beaten you. Yuffie Kisaragi of Wutai." 

"I wish I could say that you will die with honor, but I doubt any battle with me is entirely fair." She shook her head, scanning the three of them. "Would you prefer to wait until your friends arrive? Although I doubt their aid will change this battle's outcome." 

"You're right," Yuffie replied with a confident grin. "We can win without their help." 

A smile came to Minerva's face, but it did not touch her eyes. "I suppose you think the odds are against me?" 

"'course. We beat Sephiroth, and we've gotten stronger since then." 

The silver-haired girl shook her head. "You could not have truly defeated him. He wanted to die." 

The three received this with some surprise. "How do you know?" Vincent asked. 

But she only shrugged. "Well? Are we on, or shall I wait until your friends get here?" 

Vincent and Elena both shifted their stances in preparation for the coming fight, but Yuffie caught Vincent's arm. 

"Vinny, wait," she said. 

He glanced down at her, wondering if she had lost her nerve. "What is it?" 

She frowned and lowered her voice. "I don't think she wants to fight us. Otherwise, why would she tell us we could wait? I think she's stalling." 

He glanced at Minerva, knowing she had heard. "Probably," he agreed. 

"Couldn't we try to reason with her?" 

"The only way for you to avoid this fight is to turn and go," Minerva told them. "Should you choose to leave, I will not stop you." 

"We're not running," Elena stated firmly. 

The silver-haired girl seemed amused. "You are very brave to want to fight me. Either that, or very stupid." 

Anger entered Elena's voice. "We're not about to lose either! I'm ready to fight you, but I have one question before that: Why fight us if you don't want to?" 

"Why become a Turk if you have no wish to kill?" 

"The answer is different and you know it!" Elena snapped, fuming. "You don't have any use for money. So what's your motive? Aren't you strong enough to kill Hojo on your own?" 

Minerva offered no answers. "Why do you wish to come through here anyway?" she asked instead. "What could possibly be worth the risk?" 

"We've gotta kill Hojo," said Yuffie. "Since you obviously couldn't." 

"And Talya owes me a rematch," Elena put in. "This time, I'll beat her." 

The girl looked at Vincent expectantly. 

"Sephiroth must be freed," he said simply. 

Minerva deliberated for a moment, weighing their answers against whatever secret kept her tied to Hojo. Finally, she nodded to herself. "What makes you think you will find them here?" 

"Why else would you be guarding them?" Elena asked harshly. 

"Unless she only wants us to believe that they're here," Vincent considered. The three exchanged glances. 

"So where are they?" Yuffie demanded. 

"Oh, they're here all right," Minerva said, appearing pained. "But you won't be able to find them on your own." 

Elena seemed to notice this, and she eyed the girl uncertainly. "Do you think you could show us the way?" she asked. 

"No," came the blunt reply. 

"Not strong enough to fight whatever's keeping you tied to Hojo?" Yuffie asked archly. "It's easier for you to fight us instead?" 

Emerald green eyes glared at her, but the ninja held her ground. "I am stronger than you think." 

"Then prove it," Yuffie challenged her. 

"I will." 

The ninja grinned triumphantly and glanced back at her companions. 

Minerva's gaze went past them out the doorway through which they had come. "Your friends will be here soon. Should we not wait for them?" 

"Um, right," Yuffie said, glancing towards the reactor's entrance. "Oh, hey, do you know how to help them across? I don't think Vinny wants to carry them all." 

The girl nodded and stepped forward to join them. "Certainly. I will do what I can."

* * *

Author's Notes  
And Jenova is revealed. Admittedly I don't read much fanfiction nowadays, but I've never seen anyone else treat her as anything besides evil. It's even rare for her to be treated as a character, which I guess isn't surprising considering she has all of one line in the game, but I've always been very curious about her origins. At one point I considered writing something from her point of view about why she was forced to flee her home planet, but I'm not quite _that_ curious, and I much prefer writing Aeris-centric stories. 

Anyway, this time around, I chose to be a lot subtler about what Sephiroth did for Ifalna and Aeris here. I hope that makes it more intriguing for first-time readers. 

Also, Vincent/Yuffie goodness! Man, I love sticking those two together, romantically or not. I didn't change much of anything about that scene, because it was pretty good the first time around. The style just needed some tweaking. 


	18. Darkness

**Chapter 17: Darkness**

_Sitting down beside Aeris in the dark hallway, Sephiroth peered curiously at the creature she held in her lap. It took him a moment to recognize it as one of the bats that had taken up residence in the basement's ceiling and frightened those unused to such dark atmospheres. This bat, however, seemed quite lifeless where it lay limply across Aeris's small lap. _

"What are you doing?" he asked quietly. 

She looked up at him, and again he noted the bright green of her eyes."It's hurt," she told him, her voice full of concern. "I found it on the floor. It tried ta move, but it just sorta..." She trailed off, not knowing the word. 

"Collapsed?" Sephiroth offered. She nodded. "Are you sure it's not dead?" he went on, eyeing the languid form dubiously. 

"It's not," Aeris stated quite firmly. "Its soul hasn't returned to the Planet yet." 

He blinked. "How can you tell?" he wondered, though in truth he wasn't certain what she meant. 

"Mommy taught me how," she replied, as though she couldn't understand why he was asking. She turned to him in confusion. "Your mommy didn't show you?" 

He looked away. "No. She... wouldn't have known how." 

Her green eyes remained on him for a moment before Aeris turned back to the bat. "'m sorry," she mumbled. "Shouldn't've asked 'bout your mommy..." 

"...how did you know she was dead?" he wondered, studying this enigma of a girl. 

"Your eyes," she answered softly. When he made no reply, she closed her eyes and laid her hands on the creature in her lap, concentrating. At length she opened her eyes and shook her head in frustration. "Can't do it." 

"You're trying to heal it?" 

"Yeah." She lifted it carefully and held it out to him. "You're older; can you show me how?" 

Sephiroth shifted uncertainly. He had only ever used healing magic on himself, sometimes as a demonstration to Hojo, sometimes after a particularly harsh experiment. But, he could not tell her that that was why he hesitated now. "I doubt I'd be much of a teacher," he said finally. 

Aeris frowned as though she hadn't understood, and he was just about to explain himself when she spoke again. "Just show me. You dun have to say 'nything." 

"All right." He accepted the creature gingerly and studied it for a moment, wondering how to go about this. "It's different from healing yourself," he muttered. 

The girl's eyes widened in concern. "The Professor hurts you?" 

He shook his head quickly, not realizing he had said that aloud. "No, no, he... You don't have to worry about it." He cast her a sidelong glance. "How do you know these things without me telling you? You're too young to..." 

"Your eyes," she repeated. "They..." She trailed off, not knowing the words to explain. "Mommy doesn't know neither." 

"...either," Sephiroth corrected softly, staring. An empath...

"Either," Aeris echoed. There was a pause. "The bat," she prompted. 

With a start, he turned back to it, closing his eyes and focusing. He probed the tiny creature's wounds with his mind, sent the required energy flowing from his fingertips to where it was needed, and shaped that energy into the magic to heal the fractures. 

The bat began to stir under his fingers, and he gave it an encouraging lift, watching as it flew off into the darkness with a frantic beating of wings. 

"That was neat," Aeris murmured, staring after it. 

He shrugged dismissively. "If you don't mind my asking, why do you care about an injured bat?" 

"A what?" 

"Injured. Hurt," he clarified. How had he forgotten he was speaking to a four-year-old? 

"...it was hurt," she said confusedly, as though this was the only reason she needed. 

"But it's just a bat," Sephiroth stated. 

"So? It was alive." 

He studied her for a moment--the strength in her bright green eyes, the curious tilt of her head, and the smile ready on her lips. "I hope you never lose your innocence," he told her finally. 

"What's that?" she wondered. 

Sephiroth opened his mouth to answer, but the laboratory door opened, and a woman stumbled out, glancing behind her with a mixture of fear and outrage. The Professor was behind her, and he stepped out after her, turning his frown upon the two children. Aeris pressed herself against Sephiroth fearfully. 

He looked down at her thoughtfully. "Ask your mother," he whispered to her. Aloud, he said, "Come on, Aeris, it's time for you to go back with your mother." 

He stood, gently tugging the girl to her feet. 

For the woman was undoubtedly Aeris's mother. They shared the same fair complexion, wavy brown hair, and deep green eyes. The gaze with which the woman fixed him, however, lacked the same quality her daughter's held. Rather than seeing into him, she looked upon him with growing fear. 

She hurried past him, taking Aeris's hand and pulling her along behind her. "Crisis from the sky," he heard her murmur to the child, risking a glance at him. 

Aeris paid her mother's words no mind and turned to wave at him with her free hand. "Bye, Seph!" she called. 

Sephiroth smiled slightly in response, but he stared after the pair in confusion. Crisis from the sky?_ he wondered. Shrugging uneasily, he turned to meet the Professor's dark eyes, quickly dropping his gaze on seeing the anger there. _

"What were you doing down here with the girl?" came the sharp demand. 

Sephiroth did not lift his head. "Talking to her," he answered. "She's obviously lonely." 

"Leave off that nonsense. I don't want you putting ideas into her head." 

"Ideas...?" 

"You know what I'm talking about," the Professor stated. 

The boy blinked slowly and looked up with a frown. "But, she's only a child. She needs friendship." 

"Friendship?" Hojo scoffed. "And I suppose you'd be the one to give that to her? Those of her race do not take kindly to specimens like you." 

He looked down, recalling how Aeris's mother had looked at him. He shook his head. "I was not thinking of myself. Surely some of the village children are her age." 

"What? You want her to mingle with them_?" _

Sephiroth started and took an involuntary step back. 

"They're mere humans. I can't have her believing she is normal." 

"...then you want her to be like me?" 

"Hmph. No; she is different from you. Stay away from her." 

He frowned thoughtfully, trying to think of some way to obtain permission. Not that he needed it, but if Hojo caught them again, he might punish Aeris. "How much can her mother really teach her?" he asked. "She's gone this long without learning any spells. I could teach her; she has the potential." 

"Do you really think she could learn anything from you? You two are complete opposites." 

"No, we're not!" Sephiroth protested, not wanting to believe it. Hojo glowered at him, and he saw that his outburst had cost him. "We're the same," he muttered, his voice lacking conviction. 

"That illusion won't last long, boy," the Professor told him. "Stay away from her." 

"You can't shield her forever," the boy continued, a spark of anger driving him to say more despite his fear of punishment. "She could turn out to be as strong as me someday, and then you'd have a real problem on your hands." 

"Thank you for the warning," Hojo replied, a grin twisting his features. 

Sephiroth shuddered in spite of himself. 

"Now come on. It's time."

* * *

Katrina hardly gave any thought to the matter when a drop of water landed on her nose. She just lifted her hand and brushed it away, and its appearance never entered her thoughts. She sat up near the observatory with Miera, looking down on the canyon. It was a gorgeous sight from all the way up here, especially at sunset, when the sun's rays set the whole western face of the canyon on fire, in start contrast with the shadows on the eastern face. 

But, she thought with a frown, the sun seemed to be setting too fast, the darkness of night creeping in with a speed that it wasn't supposed to have. 

Maybe it was just her imagination, she thought with a glance at Miera, who did not seem to notice anything amiss. Her thoughts drifted from the canyon, and she wondered how Aeris's friends were doing. Had they reached Midgar yet? Had they found Sephiroth already? Were they on their way to confront Hojo this very instant? She hoped so. 

Another drop, this time on her hand. She ignored it. She wondered if Sephiroth was okay. No matter what the stories said about him, she considered him a friend. Sure, a lot of the time he was cold and calculating, but that wasn't all there was to him. Drop. He really seemed to regret what he had done, even though he couldn't remember it, and sometimes his awkward mannerisms made him seem almost... innocent. She hoped he was all right. That Hojo guy sounded like a real bastard. 

She finally became aware that the sun had vanished completely and the sky was blacker than it should have been. A drop of water landed on her cheek, and then another on her forearm, and she looked up at the sky in confusion. It hung dark and heavy above her, and more drops fell around her, faster and faster. 

A little girl with twin braids ran up to them, tugging anxiously on Miera's mane. "It's raining," she said urgently. "Elder Margo said it's gonna be a downpour afore long. What're we gonna do 'bout the Candle?" 

"I thought I smelled rain," Miera said absently, getting to her feet, "but I didn't believe my own nose. Her flame-tipped tail swished back and forth as she looked up at the sky. "Kari, go ask Elder Bugah about a tarp to cover it with." 

"Isn't the fire too big for that?" Katrina asked as Kari scampered off. 

The golden-furred feline only shook her head grimly. "It won't be by the time we're ready to protect it." With that, she bounded off down the steps, leaving Katrina sitting by herself in the rain that was getting heavier by the moment. 

Pushing her damp hair out of her face, she got to her feet, hurrying back to the inn to get out of the rain. She opened the door to her room without knocking and stood uncertainly in the doorway. Aeris sat beside the sleeping Lucrecia, her eyes closed and her brow furrowed in concentration. Katrina faltered, not knowing whether she would be interrupting something by speaking. She closed the door quietly and fidgeted there, on the verge of speaking when the Cetra opened her eyes and looked at her. 

"You look like you took a bath with all your clothes on," she remarked in confusion. "But that can't be it. What's wrong?" 

"It's raining," she said simply. 

"...raining?" Aeris wondered, looking past Katrina as though she could see outside. "That heavily?" 

The girl nodded. 

The Cetra bolted to her feet as a thought occurred to her. "What are they doing about the Candle? If it goes out, then..." 

"They're trying to get a tarp to shield it from the rain," Katrina told her, fumbling over the words. Aeris's genuine concern surprised her. "Don't tell me you believe in that superstition about it." 

"I do. If it goes out, something bad will happen. And with Cloud out looking for Sephiroth..." She trailed off and pushed past Katrina, opening the door and dashing off down the hallway. 

Katrina stared after her in astonishment. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm going to help!" Aeris called over her shoulder, running out into the rain. 

The girl lingered in the doorway, debating whether or not to follow. She glanced back at Lucrecia's sleeping form. _Well_, she considered, _she's not a child; if she wakes up while we're gone, she'll be fine. And as far as the rain's concerned, I'm already soaked._

She shut the door and dashed down the hall after Aeris, plowing on into what was now a heavy downpour with only the slightest of hesitations. In the Planet's name, what god had decided to dump all this rain in _Cosmo Canyon_, of all places? 

She found Aeris standing perfectly still before the sputtering bonfire, her hands stretched out towards it and her eyes closed. Her matted hair hid much of her face, and Katrina had trouble seeing through the rain, but she could still make out that same look of concentration. 

"What are you doing?" Katrina asked, loudly so as to be heard over the roaring whisper of the rain. 

The Cetra did not answer; perhaps she hadn't heard. After several moments of standing thus motionless, she opened her eyes and smiled. 

For a second, Katrina could only stand stunned at Aeris's eyes, which literally glowed that deep green, like the mist that surrounded a mage casting a powerful spell. Then, with a start, she followed the Cetra's gaze to the bonfire. At first she noticed nothing out of the ordinary, but then she saw that the rain was bouncing off some sort of barrier about a foot above the dying flame. 

"What the...?" This was not magic from materia. Was it, then, the power of the Ancients? 

Aeris raised her voice to let the nearby villagers hear her. "Someone has to get some dry wood for that fire, or it'll go out for certain." 

The villagers scurried to comply, and Katrina, despite feeling largely disoriented, ran to help them.

* * *

Reno was glad, almost relieved, to join up with the others. He'd grown tired of the looks Cloud kept giving him, especially when he caught the redhead eyeing Tifa. But, honestly, what else was he supposed to look at? Midgar was ugly as shit. Uglier, actually. They were drawing close to the reactor, which, though a poor excuse for a building, seemed strong and almost beautiful compared to the debris surrounding it. That was saying a lot. 

Cloud hesitated near the entrance, but Reno waltzed right on past him and took a few steps inside. Only a few, though, because as he soon saw, there wasn't much farther to go. He realized from the light in the reactor that they weren't alone, and he soon located the source of the glow as some sort of orb suspended in the air across the abyss. It had to be magic, he decided, though he hadn't seen anything like it before. 

The others crowded behind him onto what remained of the platform, and they all stared at the pair approaching them across the air where the bridge should have been. The tall, slender girl with silver hair and eyes like Sephiroth must have been Minerva, he decided. The other was Yuffie, who had a handful of the girl's shirt and was staring down at her feet with something between wonder and fear. 

Reno's appraising gaze soon returned to Minerva, though it was not to wonder why she appeared to be helping them. She was taller than him, he realized, and what little bulk she had was all tight muscle. She was dressed simply, with a loose-fitting blue shirt probably meant for a man, a pair of black shorts that hugged her legs, and heavy brown sneakers that swallowed her narrow ankles. Her body wasn't nearly as shapely as he liked them, but her face more than made up for it. Her fine silver hair swept across one side of her forehead and hung just past her shoulders. The pale skin beneath it was flawless, and those blue-green eyes were captivating. He knew that if she would just smile, she'd be gorgeous. 

"Hi, Cloud," Yuffie said as she reached the platform where they stood and let go of the girl's shirt. "This is Minerva. We, uh... met her in the room past the first security door. She's gonna show us the way to where Hojo is." 

Cloud eyed Minerva suspiciously; he was never one to believe in people without question, which could sometimes be a pain in the ass. "Why should we trust her?" 

It was the silver-haired girl who answered, and Reno decided that she had a pretty voice, though at the moment it sounded strained. "I will be the first to admit that it is a risk," she said. "I cannot guarantee anything, but I will do my best to resist the control that Hojo has on me. I do not wish to fight you." 

"How do I know you won't just lead us into a trap?" 

"Believe me, if I wished to crush you, I would do so now." 

Cloud studied her with a frown and nodded grudgingly. "All right. But the second you make a wrong move..." 

"You shall try to kill me," she acknowledged simply. "I know." 

"So, what's the deal with the walking-on-air bit?" Reno asked amicably. 

Minerva's eyes slid to him, her gaze almost predatory in its intensity. "And you are...?" 

"Reno," he answered with a wink. 

Her eyes clouded with confusion for an instant, but she only frowned and turned to the abyss. "It is a spell," she explained. "I can lead you across a few at a time. You will have to keep close to me." 

"Sure thing," Reno said with a grin, earning him sharp looks from Yuffie and Reeve, who stood nearby. He let Cloud and Tifa go across with Yuffie first, waiting for her to take the rest of them. He stood just behind her, one hand on her shoulder, as she led him across. She felt tense beneath his hand, and when they reached the other side, he looked at her face in better light and saw the pained expression she wore. 

"You okay?" he wondered. 

"Fine," she deadpanned. 

Moving to the front of the group, she laid a hand against the left wall, and it disappeared, revealing a narrow passageway, wide enough only for them to walk single file. She led them inside, and now Reno hung back so that when the wall reappeared, he could test it with his own hands. The metal felt quite solid beneath his fingers. 

Minerva lit the narrow tunnel with the same sort of orb as before and led them down the winding passageway, which had so many forks in it that even Reno eventually lost track of all the turns. He wondered how she remembered, and in the same instant he thanked whatever gods there were that he wasn't claustrophobic. 

At length they emerged into a room that seemed huge after the maze of tunnels. In a house, it would have made a large hall, but for a reactor it was small. (Not that he was even sure they were still in the reactor.) At the room's far end stood a metal door with a number pad to one side of it, but Minerva made no move towards it. She stood leaning against the near wall, one hand to her head as if she had a severe migraine. 

Reno stepped towards her cautiously. "Hey, are you okay?" 

"I... I don't know," she managed, voice tight. "I am not supposed to be here, and he knows it. He knows something is wrong." 

"Hojo?" 

Minerva had no chance to answer; in an instant she had slid to the floor and lay curled on her side, clutching her head. 

Reno immediately crouched down beside her, alarmed at her loss of control. She had to be strong, and if this kind of pain was beyond her... "Oi, Minerva," he called, reaching to touch her but hesitating when he recalled how tense she'd been. 

She gave him no answer and curled up tighter, her hands moving to wrap protectively around her. 

"Hey," he said gently, now laying his hand on her shoulder. 

All he saw was a flash of movement too fast for his startled eyes to track, but instinct told him to jump backwards. He hadn't been quick enough, and he felt the streak of pain in his arm like an aftershock. He leapt to his feet, putting a few more paces between them, and glanced at the wound. The cut wasn't serious, but some blood was already making a track down his arm. 

Minerva was on her feet, knife in hand. Where she'd pulled it from, he didn't know, but she probably had more of them. "I am sorry," she said, though her voice was about as apologetic as steel, "but I cannot fight it any longer." 

Without waiting for a response, she sprinted forward, towards Reno. He darted out of the way, pulling out his nightstick and turning up the voltage. 

Vincent fired several quick shots at the girl, but she dodged the first few and flung the others back with a burst of magic. This thwarted, she launched herself at Yuffie, now the closest to her, but the ninja vaulted over Minerva's shoulders, landed behind her, and swung her shuriken. The bladed weapon missed by a hair and flew back into Yuffie's gloved hands. 

As Minerva turned for her next target, Reno let loose a bolt of energy from his nightstick, trying to catch her unawares, but with a sweep of her hand she sent it flying back towards him. He dropped flat with a curse, and it flashed over his head, dispelling against the nearest wall. 

Cid cast a powerful fire spell as Reno was climbing to his feet, half-grinning, half-grimacing. He'd been starting to like Minerva, too, and this fighting when she wanted to be on their side was just ridiculous. 

She stepped from the flames of Cid's spell unscathed. 

"Just like Sephiroth," Cloud muttered under his breath before rushing forward, swinging the Ultima Weapon upwards and managing to cut a gash in her back. A blast of power sent him flying backwards as she whirled, but she did not seem to notice Elena and Rude running up behind her. Since bullets were useless, they'd opted against them. Elena caught hold of the girl's arm to hold her still, and Rude landed a sound punch to her head and a glancing blow to her jaw before she twisted free and buried a knife in his shoulder. 

Elena flung an ice spell in Minerva's face and pulled Rude out of the way, back against the wall. The two of them crouched down on the floor, Elena working hurriedly to remove the knife and heal the wound. 

Yuffie and Tifa started forward at the same time to attack, but just as they reached their target, a shock of some unnamed magic slammed everyone back into the walls. Reno grunted, fell to land on his ass, and sat there struggling to breathe properly. 

The first to recover, Vincent leapt forward at a speed rivaling Minerva's and raked his claw across her face, her chest, her shoulder. Reeve took the opportunity to fire off a round of shots; most of them missed, but one burrowed into her calf. She did not fall, barely even faltered. Blood trickled down her face and neck and arm, but she did not seem to notice it. 

In one fluid motion, she pulled Vincent towards her and pulled another knife from nowhere to trust it into his left arm, where skin met metal. Instead of trying to break free, Vincent flung himself sideways against her with enough force to knock her to the ground, crushing her beneath him. 

Minerva shoved him off forcefully, a powerful bolt spell soon following the motion of her arms. The spell hit Vincent in full force and knocked him back against the wall, where he slumped to the floor, crackling with energy. 

By this time everyone had recovered, and while several of the others distracted Minerva with spells, Reno cast his own variation of a barrier around her, using his nightstick to modify it. Intending to break it through sheer strength, she slammed a fist against it, but found that doing so only sent her back against the opposite wall of the barrier, which caught her and drained energy from her. 

This small victory was short-lived, however, for the girl let loose a maelstrom of raw power that shattered his barrier and slammed everyone against the wall for a second time. Few of them could manage to bite back cries of pain, and Reno was not one of them. He hit the floor hard and for a second could only lay there twitching as the energy raced through his veins, bringing pain wherever it went. 

As no one recovered quickly, Minerva chose her next target at leisure. She strode firmly to Cid, though Reno wondered if maybe she just couldn't run anymore, with that bullet in her leg. Cid, seeing her approach, swung his spear to attack her, but he was in no condition to attack, and she only leapt out of the way and landed him a harsh kick with her good leg as she came down. His head snapped to the side, and a hand on the floor just barely kept him from keeling over. He spat a curse at Minerva as she drew yet another blade and slashed at him. 

A well-placed punch from Tifa sent her skidding backwards before she could pierce the pilot's skin. Minerva flung the knife at this new adversary, but Tifa rolled to one side as the blade flew past her, striking the wall beyond and clattering to the floor. Tifa came out of the roll and leapt to her feet at the same time Minerva did. She cast a powerful wind spell at the girl, sending her flying back to the center of the room. 

"Ultima!" Cloud shouted, and those who had picked themselves up and begun to advance on Minerva halted and immediately pressed themselves back against the wall. A brilliant green explosion enveloped the silver-haired girl, and for an instant Reno thought it was too much. He felt the edges of the spell like invisible blades pushing into his skin, and he shut his eyes. 

When he opened them, he found Tifa pummelling a Minerva who had not yet recovered enough from the spell to fight back. As he watched, a sharp kick sent her slamming into the floor, but before Tifa could land another blow, Minerva cast a fire spell that consumed the both of them. When the smoke cleared, Minerva was climbing to her feet, breathing hard, while Tifa lay crumpled on the floor. 

Reno glanced at Elena and Rude, flung to separate parts of the room, and nodded to them. The three charged forward, Rude wrestling the knife from her grasp and Elena shoving her backwards into Reno's charged nightstick just as Rude let go. The electricity raced through her, and she staggered, nearly collapsing. Cloud took the opportunity to pull the unconscious Tifa to the sidelines. 

Catching a glance from Yuffie, the three Turks sprinted away to regroup near the wall, leaving Minerva to fall backwards. 

"Leviathan!" the ninja cried, summoning the water god that protected her village. The sea serpent slid into the room as though it had always been there, encircled Minerva, and spiraled up through the ceiling, a great rush of water following it and hiding the girl from view. The inverted waterfall vanished through the ceiling along with its master. 

Minerva remained, dripping with water and blood and for all her wounds looking as though she should not have had the will to move. She began to climb to her feet, but a strong lightning spell from Vincent brought her back down. Another bolt followed, and Cid ran forward to slash the girl with his spear, adding a long cut on her thigh to her myriad injuries. Yuffie followed up with a swing from her shuriken, slicing a wound in Minerva's upper arm. 

One more lightning spell, and then Minerva leapt into the air, and Reno knew it was over. That maelstrom of energy radiated from her in waves, sending them crashing into the walls with enough force to render Yuffie unconscious. But this time, she did not let them fall. Instead, the spell kept them trapped in midair, feeding them pain which coursed through them in tides. Reno tried to struggle, but found that he could not control his limbs. Speaking, then, was even farther beyond him. 

They slammed into the wall a second time, and a ripping pain followed. Black dots danced before Reno's vision as he fought to keep them at bay. The third wave of agony forced him to lose his weakening hold on consciousness. The last thought in his mind was not his own: 

_I'm sorry._

* * *

Aeris sat in a puddle by what had been a great bonfire, letting the dismal aftermath of the rain wash over her. Already soaked to the bone, she barely noticed the raindrops. All she saw--all she _could_ see--was the pile of sodden wood an ashes lying before her. A great weariness hung from her shoulders, and she saw that defeat reflected in the few villagers who strayed outside to see the Candle's remains for themselves. 

Nanaki hopped up onto the platform, his paws making little splashes in the shallow puddle. "Thank you for helping, Aeris," he said softly. 

She did not glance at him. "It didn't matter in the end. The Candle still went out." 

"It's all right," he murmured, bumping his head against her shoulder as he sat down beside her. "There was nothing else you could have done." 

"How do you know?" she asked, her gaze finally leaving the ashes to look down at her hands. "Maybe there was, and I couldn't think of it." 

"It does not matter now. Don't worry about it." 

Aeris lifted her face skyward, letting the rain pelt her numbed face, her eyelids fluttering whenever a drop came too close. "Nanaki, what does this mean?" she wondered, though she knew the answer and she scarcely noticed her friend. "Why did the sky choose this day and this place to let loose all its tears? The Candle went out--something terrible's going to happen, or maybe it already has. Cloud is in danger. I have to hurry." 

"...Aeris?" Nanaki queried uncertainly. 

"I'm going to help them," she said, her voice firm but no louder than before. 

His one eye widened. "You must not put yourself in danger again. Cloud told you to stay here." 

"But I'm not any safer here!" she exclaimed, looking at him sharply. Seeing his concern, she dropped her gaze in embarrassment. 

"The fighting is there, Aeris, not here," Nanaki said gently. 

"We don't know that. Maybe they haven't even found them yet, and Minerva's on her way here, right now, to capture me." 

He looked at her for a long time before speaking. "Then I am coming with you," he decided. 

"What about the canyon?" 

"There is no danger for it, if you are leaving. It is you who needs protection, not the village." 

Aeris frowned slightly, not wanting, for some reason, to leave the place so defenseless. "Will Miera stay?" 

"It is up to her." 

"All right." 

Nanaki nudged her with his nose. "Let's go inside and get dried off," he said. "Then, you ought to get some rest. It is late, and you look tired." 

She nodded, slowly getting to her feet and shivering from the cold that she had not noticed before. She hesitated upon feeling the sodden weight of her skirt. "I don't have a dry change of clothes," she told him. 

"I will buy you something," he said, leading her to a shop whose keeper stood just under the awning, staring at the Candle. The man helped her to find an outfit in the earthy style of the canyon, though his aid was distracted and he barely had the presence of mind to remember that those buying his goods had to pay for them. 

She returned to the inn, Nanaki at her heels, to find Lucrecia awake and sitting up. For a moment Aeris stood startled; there was something strange about her aura, she thought, but immediately she realized it had to be the Jenova. 

"Where is Vincent?" Lucrecia asked, looking past Aeris as though hoping to see him enter behind. "Has he come back yet?" 

The Cetra shook her head as she made her way over and sat down beside Lucrecia. "No," she replied, trying to keep the worry out of her voice. "They only left this afternoon. Or, yesterday afternoon, I suppose. It must be past midnight by now..." 

Lucrecia nodded and returned her attention to Aeris, noticing her wet hair and damp clothes. "Is it raining outside? I didn't think it rained often in Cosmo Canyon..." 

It was a struggle to maintain her smile. "Well, it has to rain sometimes, and it picked today." 

The woman nodded, though she seemed to sense there was more to it. "I see," was all she said. Her gaze went to Nanaki. "And who is this?" 

"I am Nanaki," he replied, bowing his head politely. "I am one of the guardians of this canyon." 

Lucrecia smiled, not seeming at all surprised that he could talk, only intrigued. "I'm Lucrecia. Pleased to meet you." Her smile faded though when she found his expression no more cheerful than Aeris's. "Has something happened?" she asked finally. 

Aeris shook her head. "It's only... The bonfire went out from the rain. They say it's very bad luck, and with Cloud out... Well, it's only superstition." 

Sephiroth's mother seemed almost relieved to hear this. She must have been expecting something much worse from their expressions. "Well, I'm certain everything will turn out fine." 

"Still, I am a little worried," the Cetra admitted. "Nanaki and I are leaving tomorrow morning to go help them." 

"Didn't you stay behind for a reason?" 

"I've almost got my strength back now. I'll be fine." 

A soft smile came to Lucrecia's face, as though something had just become clear to her. "I appreciate the concern you have for my son," she said. "If you, his victim, can forgive him, then maybe others will, too." 

"He wasn't himself when he did those things," Aeris replied with a shake of her head. "I find it hard to blame him." 

Lucrecia nodded gratefully and made as if to get up. Aeris got up, and she slid out of bed, turning to Nanaki. "I suspect the lady will be wanting some sleep before you head out tomorrow," she said with a glance at the Cetra. "As for me, I'd like to see something besides this room. Would you mind showing me around, even this late?" 

"Not at all," he answered, nudging the door back open and leading her out. 

Once they had gone, Aeris closed the door behind them, changed out of her wet clothes, and lay down to get some rest. 

_Cloud_, she thought, staring up at the ceiling, _I hope you're doing all right. I hope I didn't send you to fight adversaries you can't possibly beat. I hope you're not worrying about me the same way that I'm worrying about you. You probably are anyway, though, aren't you? But, I'll be there soon, so don't worry. _

And Sephiroth, you hang in there. I'm coming. We're going to set you free, and then you'll be able to see what life is really about. 

She smiled as she closed her eyes. She liked to think that they had heard her, even if they hadn't. And, as she drifted off to sleep, she thought she heard an answer. 

_Please hurry, Aeris._

* * *

Author's Notes  
And here we have the scene where Sephiroth teaches Aeris to heal. Ah, the irony. This was also when I decided that Aeris would be an empath. The concept of empathy in that manner fascinated me back then, but in retrospect it seems kind of silly. Unfortunately it becomes an important plot point later on, so I couldn't remove it without having to do a lot more revision than I was willing. 

Plus a rather lengthy battle scene! I really used to dread writing them, and that hasn't changed much. Nowadays I tend towards a more general description of the battle, a summary of how things go, rather than a second-by-second account, which is especially hard when you have so many characters to keep track of. 


	19. Walking the Knife's Edge

**Chapter 18: Walking the Knife's Edge**

_Aeris, Aeris, you stupid girl. Why are you coming? You know Hojo wants you. You know what he will inflict upon you if he catches you. What could you possibly do against him? Against Talya? Against Minerva? I know that you are a Cetra, but I know also that you are weak. You can heal, but can you fight? No, they will capture you when you reach me. You are walking into a cage, Aeris. Please, don't come. _

I don't know why I called for you. I did not mean to. I did not mean to... Sephiroth sighed and closed his eyes. _I deserve this treatment, Aeris. You don't. _

Yes, she does, Jenova hissed in his mind. 

He opened his eyes with a frown. _Don't start with that. I've had enough of it. _

Does she not anger you? Was there no reason why you killed her? You could have been the ruler of this planet! You could have been a god! But no, she ruined it, and you are reduced to this pitiful existence. Don't you hate her for that? 

No, he replied with a shake of his head. _I am grateful that she stopped me. It would not have made me happy. I would have been more lonely than before. _

You are still lonely, and you always will be because they will never accept you. At least, as a god, you could have had whatever else you wished. 

You are wrong; Aeris accepted me. She... I regret killing her. That is why I brought her back. 

You don't regret it, Jenova stated. _You enjoyed killing her._

"No!" he exclaimed aloud, detecting a grain of truth in her words and unable to bear it. "I did not! I did not want to!" 

_Yes, you did. I distinctly remember you laughing about it to me. You were thoroughly pleased with yourself, and you kept talking about how much you enjoyed the power. So you see, godhood would have indeed made you happy._

Sephiroth buried his face in his hands. "No," he murmured, shuddering. "I did not want to. I would have been miserable. I did not want to kill her, I did not want to become a god." 

_You know I am right_, Jenova said, sounding pleased. _You don't remember, but you know it. Killing is what you were created for, my son, and I wanted you to be happy with what power you could have, but the Cetra ruined it._

"And I am glad that she did so." 

_Now that you have recovered, we can try it again_, she persisted. _Minerva could help us. She would, if you asked her to. This time, we will kill the Cetra sooner so she will not stand in the way._

"She stopped Meteor from the Lifestream," Sephiroth pointed out absently, trying desperately to keep his thoughts from straying to that moment in the City. He did not want to remember it. 

_Then we will keep her alive_, Jenova amended, though unable to conceal her distaste for the idea. _We will take her with us. She can be yours, and the two of you can rule the world together._

"She would not like that," he stated. 

_We could let her friends live, and anyone else you want. Hojo will die, of course. How would you like that? To live among Aeris and her friends, with the freedom to do whatever you liked?_

Would it be so bad, he wondered, to kill those who meant nothing to him or to Aeris? But he thought immediately of the people of Cosmo Canyon, who had accepted him into their village despite his past, and he knew that there were others like them. 

"I couldn't," he said. "There are too many innocent people in the world to kill so many." 

_Then, what if you simply killed those who did wrong, and spared the rest? Would the world not become a utopia? You could be the bringer of justice; would that not make up for your mistakes?_

"But... Aeris would..." Sephiroth faltered and began again. "I am one of those who has done wrong, and if they deserve to die for their actions, then I certainly do. And yet, Aeris does not wish me dead." 

_You are a special case, of course, because your intent was to cleanse the world of evil. If she truly means such things, she understands that you did not know that not all humans were evil. Of course you were angry with them, after what they did to you._

"I cannot wash my hands of those murders by killing even more souls, no matter how black they are. None can be as black as mine." 

He could tell that his stubborn refusal to comply with her wishes was beginning to wear on Jenova's patience. _What does that have to do with justice?_ she demanded. _So you were a little off the first time. You've been given a second chance._

"By whom? Your cells?" he spat. "A murderer does not prove his worth by killing other murderers." 

_Then what does he do?_

Sephiroth frowned. What would Aeris do? "...he gives them a second chance." 

_And if they choose not to take it?_

"I... I don't know." 

_Hmm, now what would Aeris say?_ Jenova asked, mocking. 

"I don't know," he repeated. 

_And you know her so well_, she sneered. _My son, your impression of her is founded in a few kind words she said to deceive you. You decided to like her simply because she told you what you wanted to hear._

He shook his head, aware that he did not really know Aeris but unwilling to believe this. "She could not have faked that sincerity. She... It isn't possible." 

_She is flawed, my son, like many other beings on this planet. But, if you will rid the world of its other imperfections, I am willing to make her an exception._

"I can't kill so many. She would not want me to." 

_Why not? Would the Planet not appreciate more souls to help heal the numerous wounds the humans have created?_

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed accusingly. "You are the cause of the largest wound on this Planet. You are the one who keeps it from healing." 

_And who told you that? Vincent? The Cetra? Elder Hargo? No one told you that. You made it up yourself. The only reason the Planet cannot heal itself is because Shinra's Mako reactors were consuming the energy it needed. There is no reason why I cannot exist on this Planet without causing it harm._

"I did not make it up; I must have remembered it from my past life. _You_ are making up these things to deceive me." 

_Why would I choose to do such a thing when telling you the truth is all I have ever had to do to convince you of the right course of action?_

"And what, exactly, are you proposing to do?" Sephiroth asked, sharply biting off each word. 

_Kill the flawed humans. There is no point in letting the imperfect beings further pollute their race. The deaths of the flawed will give energy both to you and to the Planet, letting you become even more powerful. Then we can take the throne awaiting us and rule over the pure who remain._

He scoffed loudly. "What constitutes 'perfection'? Where do you draw the line?" 

_Those who have committed murder, certainly, and other such crimes._

"Are you not aware that I am among them?" 

_But you are superior to them. Their rules do not apply to you._

He lay back, placing his hands beneath his head and staring up at the blank ceiling. "I have been under the impression that _they_ were superior to _me_. I ought to beg their forgiveness, rather than punish them for lesser crimes than mine." 

_You do not need to beg forgiveness. You were forgiven the moment the Planet allowed you to live again. You paid for whatever crimes you may have committed when you died._

"Then I was not forgiven to make the same mistakes again," he decided. 

_But it isn't the same. You will do things right this time._

"I was planning on it, but you seem to think differently." 

_True, I would prefer to wipe out every last one of them_, Jenova admitted, but I am willing to compromise... 

"Compromise? I have no intention of killing anyone but Hojo." 

She was silent for a moment, and then her tone shifted subtly. _You are aware, of course, that I alone could cause significant destruction. I could even kill you, my son, if I wished. If you refuse to go along with this, I can simply wipe all of you off the face of the Planet and become a goddess on my own. And while that would not be disagreeable, I would prefer to do it another way._

He sat up, frowning. "I cannot allow you to do that." 

_Then will you accept my proposal? I am not asking much. Together we will destroy the imperfections of this world and rule a paradise._

"No, I will not accept. I will kill you." 

_You will fail trying._

"Better that I die in that endeavor than join you and kill countless others." 

_But, you see, if you join me, then you will be saving thousands of them, because if you do not, I see no reason to spare any of them._

"Why do you want me to help you, if you could do it on your own?" 

_You know the meaning of loneliness, don't you?_ she asked. 

"Yet you would do it anyway, if I refused to aid you?" 

_It is necessity. The humans harm the Planet, after all. I cannot let them kill it._

"Since when have you cared about the Planet?" he scoffed. 

_If it dies, I am deprived of a second home. And this time, I have no means of leaving._

Sephiroth stood and began pacing slowly back and forth. "You are being selfish. If I joined you, you would kill them all anyway, despite my wishes." 

_Since when have I attempted to deny my son the things he wants most?_ Jenova asked sweetly. _Last time, I let you lead, let you ascend the steps towards godhood. I was merely your guard, to be called upon for aid and advice. But you failed; they destroyed you. So, this time, I will take the lead, and we shall succeed. But I will only take your wishes into consideration if you choose to accompany me. Otherwise, you stand in my path._

"But, Mo--" He stopped himself, and his eyes widened at the slip. The thought that he had almost called her by that name filled him with revulsion; he shuddered, and began his pacing anew. "Jenova, I cannot let even those who have sinned be killed. We are of a piece. I _will_ stop you." 

_How? Minerva is keeping you from using any of your talents. You do not remember them anyway._ She laughed. _You don't even know where I am! How do you expect to kill me when I am only a voice in your head? Your voice, I might add. I wonder_, she continued amicably, as on a new, amusing train of thought, _since you cannot remember seeing me, how do you even know I exist? Perhaps you are imagining these things!_

"Of course you exist," Sephiroth stated, forcing himself to find the concept absurd. "Too many people know of your presence; Minerva even hears you, as I do." 

_Well, perhaps there is a Jenova somewhere, but that does not mean I am her, and that she is speaking to you now. With your mind, you could easily be imagining these conversations._

"What are you going on about? You cannot be a creation of my mind. You are too complex for that, and you won't deceive me with these musings. It is simple to differentiate between reality and illusion." 

_Oh? Is it now?_ she laughed. Surely you remember--no, you don't, do you? Your puppet Cloud once thought the same, but he had taken another's identity and merged it with his own, creating someone new. Why could you not create the new persona while keeping the old? Perhaps when you read those reports years ago, your mind created me in your distress and confusion. Perhaps you truly are insane. 

"Impossible," he scoffed, but he did not feel so confident as he pretended. 

He tried to think of something else, but he could not get past all that Jenova had said. Hadn't the Weapons killed humans to help the Planet? he recalled suddenly, and hated himself for the memory. 

_Yes, that's a good point_, Jenova remarked. _The Planet itself tried to do the same thing that I am proposing. What is wrong with taking up the work it left off?_

Sephiroth shook his head; there had to be something he was missing. "If that was the will of the Planet, then why did Aeris condemn such actions? Tied to the Planet as she is, why does she view human life as a good thing, rather than a virus?" 

_She enjoys their company, and so she lets this petty emotion get in her way. But you, my son, you wouldn't understand that because you are above such emotions as those. You don't need them. You should not bother thinking of Aeris; she may be a Cetra, but she has little regard for the Planet's welfare when it does not coincide with her own._

"Then why should I bother with you either? If it harmed the Planet to kill humans, that would not stop you from doing so." 

_This is true, but really, what does it matter? No one can be selfless. It is only natural for me to think of myself and take advantage of certain situations. Why try to hide it?_

He ceased his pacing and frowned. He realized suddenly that he could not think of anything that he wanted for himself. His mind simply drew a blank. 

_You are not selfless either_, Jenova told him archly. _Think, and tell me what you truly want._

"I want..." He faltered. _What _do_ I want?_ "...want... to see..." The words came slowly, and unbidden; he had no knowledge of what he was saying. "Aeris. I want to see Aeris again," he finished. "And... I want to be forgiven. By everyone whom I've wronged, not just her." 

_And why do you seek their forgiveness?_

"Because they hate me, and that hatred... distances me from them. I can't belong in this world, where they all despise me." He closed his eyes, feeling a memory tickling his mind and wanting to draw it out. 

_"You know the Professor won't like you being out here," Talya said, frowning and folding her arms beneath her breasts. _

"I know," he acknowledged, "but I wanted to see the sun for once." 

"That's what windows are for," she stated flatly, her eyes fixed petulantly on the gate. 

"I suppose so, but I find this much nicer." Sephiroth was seated cross-legged on the grassy lawn near a small gum tree. It was a marvel to be out here in air that did not smell like musty books and under a lighting that did not bear down on him alone, but rather fell softly upon everything. 

"I don't see what you find so interesting out here." 

"You seem unusually irritable today," he remarked. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing." 

"You can tell me," he said gently, more inclined to be nice out here under the sun. "It isn't as though I have anyone else to confide in." 

"I told you, it's nothing!" Talya snapped, still not looking at him. 

Sephiroth stared at her for a moment. This wasn't like her at all, but he wouldn't push anything. Instead he got to his feet and wandered to the front gate, upon which her gaze was fixed, and leaned upon it. He knew better than to step out, so Talya said nothing. 

A few children were playing near the well in the middle of the town. They looked about Aeris's age, perhaps a little younger, and that thought brought a frown to his face. He had not seen her for months; the Professor had forbidden it, and he had not even caught a glimpse of her since. It made him think that perhaps the Professor was calling for her, too, and that worried him. 

One of the children by the well noticed him, and Sephiroth gave a slight start. The little boy straightened from his game and peered at him curiously. Sephiroth tried a smile, but the child seemed almost frightened by the expression, and he soon turned back to the safety of his friends. 

Disappointed, Sephiroth turned to Talya. "You can stop sulking now. I'm ready to go back in." 

"I'm not sulking," she muttered as they walked back inside. 

"...and before they hated me, it was their fear that made me an outcast." 

_I see. Then you don't want to kill because then they will only hate and fear you more? But, why should you want their acceptance? Is the regard of one or two not sufficient?_

He shook his head. "If I agree to your plot, I will lose the acceptance of those I spare. Even if they do not know those I kill, they cannot sanction it." 

_You are thinking of Aeris again. I told you, she is selfish. If she cared more about the Planet, she would approve of this idea._

"But she does not approve." 

_Why should that matter so much to you?_ Jenova snapped irritably. _I don't understand it._

Sephiroth sat down on the hard mattress of his bed and stared down at his feet. "Neither do I." 

_What if she did approve? Would you agree to my plan then?_

"Perhaps." _Yes. _

Think on it. If you can find no answer to why you desire a sanction from her, then I expect you to concur with me. Do we have an agreement? 

Sephiroth refused to answer. 

_I need a definite answer soon._

"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked. 

_Because things seem to be moving in a direction that is quite favorable for us._

"How so?" 

_I cannot tell you, because I know not where your allegiance lies._

He smirked. "Afraid of me? I thought it would be so easy to kill me." 

_It would be. But I would prefer not to._

"Very well then. I will give you an answer when I remember enough." 

_Then I will see what I can do to make that happen more quickly for you._

* * *

Perhaps he should have used the time to search the mansion for other specimens of Hojo's, he considered. But he had not seen Aeris in two years now, so for all he knew, Hojo had taken her and her mother to his lab in Midgar, and so he had a different plan in mind. 

He stepped into the library with a strange sense of freedom. The Professor had left for Midgar for a few days, gods knew why, and Talya lay unconscious in Sephiroth's room, under a spell that he had only just puzzled out. Really, it felt very little like magic, but he knew not what else to call it. He had felt his way into her mind, grasped at her thoughts, and set in place a ghost, a new memory of something that had not really happened. He would be back by the time she awoke, and she would think that he had merely knocked her unconscious for a few moments after a sparring match. 

A small part of him felt uneasy about such a deception, but he quelled that feeling, telling himself that she had done worse to him. 

And so Sephiroth entered what was normally a place of dread free of both his tormentors. He had read the other books in the mansion, but those here had always been out of his reach. He scanned the titles with his eyes, searching for something that looked promising. He did not know how Hojo referred to him in his notes. Indeed the only number he knew was Aeris's. 

A cluster of titles caught his eye, a few slim volumes different from the rest: VV-01 and TK-02, and beside them a long string of characters, L-P1-S-A02-C01. TK he recognized immediately--Talya Keagan--and it did not surprise him that Talya was herself a specimen of Hojo's, if not to the extent that he was. He would have to ask her about it later; that would certainly make her jump. VV, he supposed might be Vincent Valentine. Talya had said that the Professor hadn't wanted him in the way, but that he wasn't dead. Had Hojo changed him somehow, too? 

The last set of characters gave him more trouble. He stared at it for a long time before everything clicked into place. Lucrecia, his mother. The last part of the code must have been his own. Sephiroth, supposedly the second Ancient to come into Hojo's hands, and... C01? 

He shook his head, found one of his own files, and pulled it down in hopes of finding some clue. The notes scribbled in Hojo's spidery hand, however, soon disgusted him, and he replaced the volume. He would find very little here, he decided, taking a look around. As his gaze alighted on the pair of Mako chambers in the corner of the lab, it suddenly dawned on him. 

_Hojo is going to clone me._

Sephiroth froze where he stood, staring at the twin chambers. Slowly, not wanting to believe it, he pushed up his sleeve to peer at the tattoo on his shoulder. A clear number '1' was printed there, so that he would never be mistaken for one of the others. One of the clones. 

With a shudder, he pulled the sleeve back down to cover the tattoo.

* * *

_Aeris had been sitting near her mother with her back to the door, when all of a sudden she heard it open. She knew it could only be one of two people, and she knew what that meant. She had tried hiding before, however, and she knew that that would do her no good. She glanced up at her mother and saw the dread on her face turn to surprise, yet some fear lingered. _

The seven-year-old followed her mother's gaze to the door and blinked, her face registering surprise as well as a faint recognition. Her fear, contrary to her mother's, vanished immediately. 

The boy who entered was quite tall, especially from Aeris's vantage point on the floor. She had to crane her neck to see his face, which was startlingly delicate, framed by silver bangs. His eyes shone a brilliant blue-green, and despite their apparent indifference, she did not fear them in the slightest. She knew she had met him before, and she struggled to remember his name. S... Se... 

He closed the door behind him and turned to face her mother, not sparing the child a second glance. He did not venture any farther into the room, and meeting Ifalna's gaze, he seemed a little uncertain. 

"What... what are you doing here?" Ifalna asked once she found her voice. 

"I came to help you escape," he answered carefully. 

"What? Why?" 

A frown came to his face, as though he had not expected that question and knew not how to answer it. "You can't want to remain here." 

Aeris's mother shook her head. "No, I mean, why should you care about us?" 

This question seemed to surprise him, and he glanced at Aeris--I don't want them to hurt you anymore_--almost involuntarily. "Why shouldn't I? I am not like the Professor, or Talya." _

"But you're... You are the Crisis from th--" 

"Don't, Mom," Aeris interrupted anxiously, though she could feel it, too. "He's not." 

"But he--" 

"He's not!" she exclaimed, louder than she had intended, and clamped a small hand across her mouth, eyes going fearfully to the door. The three held their breaths for a long moment. 

"I do not have much time," the boy said softly. "Now, will you let me help you?" 

Ifalna's face showed only suspicion and worry as she moved closer to her daughter. "Why now? We've been here for three years with you, and you've only just decided to help?" 

He seemed on the verge of answering, eyes straying again to Aeris--I heard you crying in the hallway yesterday. I hadn't known you were here, had forgotten how terrible it feels; I don't let it bother me anymore. I am sorry, so sorry, that I did not act sooner--_but he stopped himself and said brusquely, "The reasons don't matter. I will help you whenever you consent, but the sooner you do, the better for all of us." _

"Then, if I'm to believe you, how do you expect to help us?" 

He shifted uneasily, reluctant to explain. "I can... spirit you away from here. He won't be able to track you, and should you choose a good hiding place, he will not find you again." 

The suspicion did not leave Ifalna's eyes. "I don't understand." 

"It's the same spell that I use to move around the mansion without the Professor knowing." 

"Why didn't you enter that way?" 

"I did not wish to startle you." 

Ifalna frowned dubiously. "What guarantees do I have that you won't harm us somehow?" 

"Only my word." 

"I don't trust your word." 

Aeris tugged on her mother's arm and looked up at her. "But Mom, why not? Can't you see he's telling the truth? Why'd he want to hurt us?" 

"Aeris, dear..." 

"Lemme just talk to him, okay?" 

Reluctantly, Ifalna nodded her consent, and Aeris got up to approach their guest, staring up into his face. 

"Sit down, you're too tall," was the first thing she said, pulling insistently on his arm. He complied with surprising obedience, and she promptly sat down before him. "Now," she began, but stopped, blushing. "Sorry, forgot your name..." 

"Sephiroth." 

"Right." She hesitated before she went on. "...you be comin' with us?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

"I cannot." 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand." His eyes--If I stay, perhaps he'll be satisfied with me. Perhaps he won't care to search for you. Perhaps I can protect you, by staying behind_--were bluer than she remembered, she noticed. _

"Oh," she said in disappointment. "I hope you'll be okay." 

"I will. It... it's you I'm worried about."--And still am_--"You are only a little girl, after all." _

Aeris smiled reassuringly. "I'm a big_ girl. I c'n take care of myself." _

He returned the smile, just a little. "You haven't changed a bit." 

She got back to her feet, and his gaze followed her. "Will I see you again, d'you think? After we leave here, I mean?" 

There was a slight pause before his answer--I don't know. I hope so. But I don't want to give you such an uncertain answer, so, if it pleases you to see me_--"Of course." _

"Okay." Aeris shuffled back to her mother as Sephiroth stood behind her. "So can we go, Mom?" 

"I... suppose it'll be all right." Ifalna remained dubious, but she was looking at Sephiroth with a vague sense of surprise. 

"Do you need time to prepare?" the boy asked, the concern that he had shown Aeris now gone from his manner. 

"Come again tonight, if you can," Ifalna answered. 

"Thanks so much, Sephy!" Aeris said, beaming. 

"It is nothing," he replied--It's the least I can do for you, after what you've shown me. I wish I could go with and protect you, but my place is here. I... wonder what it's like out there. Find out for me, please?_--attempting a smile. He shifted slightly, murmured something, and disappeared. _

"Wow," Aeris said once he had gone. 

"I wonder... what that boy is thinking," her mother pondered quietly. 

The girl seated herself again on the floor, but found she couldn't sit still for long now that she had something so wonderful to look forward to. "What d'you mean? He just wants to help us, doesn't he?" 

"Aeris, dear, I find it hard to fathom why one of his_ kind would help two Cetra..." _

"It dun matter that we're Cetra or that he's... whatever he is. He still cares." 

A faint smile came to Ifalna's face. "I do hope you're right." 

"I am," Aeris answered, her own smile broad and confident. "I just hope the Professor doesn't find out about it."

* * *

"Is something wrong?" Sephiroth queried, watching Talya pace his room and barely able to keep from laughing aloud. 

"Aeris and her mother are missing," she answered, her voice almost a growl. "Hojo was ranting at me all morning." 

"What does he expect you to do?" 

"Find them, of course," she replied in frustration. "I told him that if I left, there'd be no one to guard you." 

"And?" 

"He told me to shut the hell up." 

"I see." 

"You don't care, do you?" she snapped, glaring at him as though it were all his fault--which in reality it was. "It amuses you to see me like this, doesn't it?" 

"Quite," Sephiroth replied amiably. "But I am also pleased to know they've escaped from this place." 

"You aren't jealous of them?" 

"Why should I be anything but happy for them?" 

Talya sat down in her chair, eyeing him suspiciously. "You didn't even know them," she said. "It's not like you to care about strangers." 

"Any 'specimen' of the Professor's is kin of mine." 

"Even the monsters he keeps in Midgar?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. 

He smiled minutely, a little of his mockery perhaps aimed at himself. "Especially them." 

"Sometimes I wonder about you," Talya sighed, shaking her head. She got up and started pacing again, though by now her anger had cooled some. "I'd ask for your help in finding them, but you'd never agree to it, would you?" 

"No, never," he confirmed. 

After a moment of silence, she turned back to study him again. "You wouldn't happen to have anything to do with this, would you?" 

"Me? How could I have?" 

"I don't know," she said, throwing up her hands. "But I don't see how they could have disappeared like that. And I know you; this is exactly the sort of thing you'd do to get back at Hojo. No wonder you're so amused; don't you feel proud of yourself?" 

"My only regret," Sephiroth said, smiling and leaning back with his hands behind his head, "is that I did not think to help them." 

"Then you knew they were leaving? And you didn't tell me?" 

Oh, how he enjoyed playing with her. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Why would I?" 

Talya frowned, realizing she had asked a stupid question. "You know, of course, that Hojo isn't going to like this..." 

The boy only smiled. "I know." 

"You don't care?" 

"Not really." His smile faded momentarily. "Although I don't see why you have to tell him everything." 

She shrugged uncomfortably. "So, if you knew about it, how did they escape? Where did they go?" 

His smile of amusement returned readily. "They vanished into thin air." 

"Don't play games with me," Talya snapped, growing vexed with his cheerful mood. 

"I didn't think you'd believe me. That's the most amusing part of this episode: that you wouldn't believe me if I told you the truth." 

She folded her arms, scowling. "Try me." 

"All right," he agreed, wondering exactly what he was doing. Did he want to rub it in Hojo's face, that he was only staying because he felt he had to? "I _did_ help them. I used a spell to transport them far away from here." 

Talya raised an eyebrow, daring to state this as the truth. "Oh, really?" 

"Yes, really. Would you like me to demonstrate? Because you obviously do not believe me." 

"What do you mean?" she asked cautiously. 

"This," he replied, and promptly disappeared. He reappeared behind her moments later and tapped her on the shoulder. 

Talya whirled around, green eyes blazing as she stared up at him. "How did you do that?" 

Sephiroth shrugged. "Ask Hojo. He's the one with the library on me in the basement." 

"You mean you've read those?" 

"Every... single... one." 

Growling in anger, she grabbed his arm and practically dragged him out the door until he managed to regain his footing and follow her voluntarily. "Come on," she said gruffly. "I'm taking you to see Hojo." 

"Why?" he asked simply, knowing how much it would hurt her. _Aren't I being vicious today?_

"Because you've broken just about every rule there is to break here." 

"No, I mean, why do you insist on telling Hojo? I know you don't like this job of yours." 

Talya stopped to glare at him, and though her words were born of anger, he knew they were the truth. "If I don't do it, I lose it, and then Hojo'll get someone else who does it better." 

Sephiroth held her gaze silently until she had to look away, tugging him down to the lab where Hojo was working. His smile had disappeared entirely by the time they reached the Professor, but he was not afraid either. He looked down on the scientist with a strange arrogance that he had never before possessed in the repulsive man's presence. Whatever happened to him now, he knew he had freed Aeris from this torture, and that knowledge was enough for now.

* * *

Several months had passed since Sephiroth had first heard of the war with Wutai. He gathered that it had been going on for years now, but of course, no one had bothered to tell a mere specimen, especially not here. After he had helped the two Cetra escape, the Professor had transferred him to Midgar, where he supposed the security was better, and where Sephiroth had spent the past two years. 

He had not seen Talya since a few months after his arrival in Midgar, and so he had grown used to silence. There were always guards stationed just outside his quarters, but rarely did they attempt conversation, and then it was only out of boredom. Mostly, Sephiroth had stopped responding. 

These days, only news of the war gave him any hope. He had difficulty remembering things now, and that worried him. The little Cetra of whom he'd been so fond, he'd forgotten her name. He remembered only her eyes and that he had helped her. As for Talya, he kept her name, but he struggled to recall her face. He knew that sometimes she had spoken to him as a friend, but he'd long since forgotten her words. 

He suspected it was Hojo's doing, this blurring state of mind, and at last his thoughts of leaving were becoming more than fancy. The war with Wutai gave him further incentive. Going there, he thought, would be an excellent way to fight the Shinra, and so to get back at Hojo. The scientist had surely promised the company a sort of super-soldier, and thus gotten Shinra to fund his experiment. If Sephiroth fought against them instead, Hojo would suffer the consequences. 

Perhaps that was why Hojo was doing this to his memories. If he could remember nothing, they would have a better time of convincing him to fight for them. He would go along with it, because he did not know any better. 

He had to leave soon, to prevent that. And now, really, was as good a time as any. 

Sephiroth glanced at the guard who stood outside nearly dying of boredom. A simple sleep spell and a short teleportation, and he was out of his cell, crouching down beside the unconscious guard to try to glean some idea of where to flee. The problem with teleporting was that one had to picture the destination. As he could not remember any place clearly enough, the guard's memory would have to suffice. 

The man had never left Midgar, but it was enough to find the place farthest from the Shinra building and go. Suddenly he found himself in the midst of a crowded street, and he smiled at the simplicity of it all as he headed for the city limits.

* * *

Opening his eyes, he found himself staring up at an unfamiliar wooden ceiling. _Where am I...?_ He closed his eyes again, trying to remember, but all that he could ascertain was that he was lying in a bed more comfortable than any he had known before. 

"Are you awake?" 

His eyes shot open again. Why hadn't he noticed someone else was in the room? "Hmm," he forced out. 

A middle-aged woman was leaning over him. "You certainly are a handsome one," she commented. 

He pushed himself up on one elbow. "Where am I?" 

She leaned back in her chair and gestured with one hand. "This is Kalm. My husband found you just south of town, unconscious in an area frequented by monsters, so he brought you back here." 

He nodded and looked around the room anew. He did not think that he had ever been in a place so... homely-looking. He wondered whose bedroom this was. 

"If you don't mind my asking, son, what were you doing out there? We couldn't find a scratch on you." 

"Hojo," he muttered under his breath, and the response surprised him. Who was Hojo? 

"What was that?" 

He shook his head. "I don't know." 

The woman frowned anxiously. "Can you say your name for me?" 

"Se... Seph... Sephiroth." 

"Well, that's something. Can you remember anything else?" 

He thought for a moment. Fragments only came to him. His mother was Jenova; she had died during childbirth. His father... he did not know, and it did not matter. He had left somewhere to escape from... No, he had set out to join SOLDIER, that was what it was. But, from where he had come and what had happened along the way, he could not recall. "Yes, a bit," he replied evenly. 

The woman smiled encouragingly. "I'm sure you'll get your memory back in time." 

He sat up, sliding his feet to the floor. He noticed then that he was wearing nothing more than a pair of pants. 

"Don't you want to rest a little longer?" the woman asked in alarm. "I don't think you should be up and about after whatever incident that made you lose your memory..." 

"I will be fine," Sephiroth answered. Really, he doubted that, but he knew that lying in bed would not help him to remember anything when this place was so unfamiliar to him. "Where are my clothes?" he queried, his words not far from a command. 

"Over there," she replied just a little too quickly, pointing to a neatly-folded pile of black. She watched him uncertainly as he dressed. "Where do you intend on going?" she asked him. 

"It is no concern of yours." 

"My, aren't you the grateful one?" was the indignant response. 

Sephiroth glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "What have I to thank you for?" 

"My husband carried you to shelter, and I've spent quite a few hours watching over you. You're telling me that's nothing to be grateful for?" 

He considered this, and bowed his head slightly. "I suppose you are right; you have my thanks, for what it's worth." 

"If you can use that huge sword you had with you, you ought to join SOLDIER," the woman suggested when he did not answer her initial question. "They could use a good swordsman." 

He nodded, then looked around the room again. "Where is Masamune?" he asked. 

"Where is _what_?" 

"My sword." 

"Oh, that's downstairs. You're lucky you weren't too far from town, else my husband wouldn't have gone back for it. He practically had to drag it here." 

Sephiroth nodded absently and started for the door. He paused when he sensed that she was going to say something and turned back. "I'll waste no more of your time. Goodbye, and thank you." With that, he went down the stairs, took up the Masamune from where it lay near the door, and strode outside without a backwards glance.

* * *

"Out of my way. I'm going to see my mother." 

"Sephiroth!" 

He ignored the boy behind him. He had long since forgotten the SOLDIER's name; it no longer mattered to him. Sephiroth could not remember leaving the mansion or even the stairwell, but he suddenly found himself outside the gate and assumed he had. In a sudden flash of anger?anger at these humans for stealing everything from him?he flung a fire spell at the nearest house and watched with a smile as the flames spread. 

On hearing the first scream, he set the next row of houses on fire. At last someone ran from a house, and the Masamune appeared in his hand, becoming a part of him as surely as any limb. He swung the blade, severing the man's head from his body in an artful splatter of blood. The body fell with a thud, the head rolled, and blood ran down the steel of his sword?smooth, slippery, beautifully crimson. 

More people ran from their burning homes, and Sephiroth cut them down as well, reveling in the blood and the flickering, blazing, dancing light of the fire. He turned finally, when no more people came to fall before his blade, and strode through the fire to the reactor. 

The flames licked at him, at his clothes, but they did not harm him. He could feel the pain, but it was beyond harming him. He wanted the pain; it had always been pain that made him feel alive, and it was today of all days that he wanted to feel alive.

* * *

He crouched in wait above the praying girl, watching, waiting. She seemed so innocent, and her face struck his fancy; he'd seen her somewhere before all this, but he could not place the moment. At times he had considered stealing her away for himself, but she had decided to summon Holy, and so he would have to kill her. She would look more beautiful dead anyway. 

_What are you waiting for?_ his mother hissed. _Kill her now, before she finishes._

He shifted slightly, adjusting his grip on the Masamune. _It will better suit our purposes if the puppet sees this. _

Not if you wait for him too long. 

He noticed a familiar blond making his way down the crystalline staircase, and he smiled. _There he is now, Mother. There was no need to worry._

As Cloud approached the praying Cetra, he drew his sword and brought it down towards her, just barely stopping himself in time. He staggered back, shaking his head in horror. 

_Are you quite finished with your games?_ Jenova demanded of him. 

_Fine, fine._ Sephiroth leapt from his perch, twisting the Masamune to drive it straight down into her. He saw her head lift slightly, eagerly, and the materia in her hair gleamed a pale blue-green. He was too late, but he did not care enough to stop himself now. 

He thrust the blade through her as he alighted on the altar behind her, and he stood there a long moment, watching her blood slip down the edge of the Masamune, watching as she slumped forward and gasped soundlessly. Stepping back, he drew the blade from her; her back arched with the motion, and then she fell. 

The puppet rushed forward to catch her before she hit the stone floor, and he knelt there cradling her lifeless form as though he actually cared. Her hair had come undone, and now her head flopped back, exposing a long, slender neck, around which was tied a black ribbon. Her eyes were lightly closed, a faint smile still on her lips. 

She did indeed look beautiful in death. Sephiroth smiled, but some voice inside of him would not let him enjoy the moment properly, and the puppet was shouting at him angrily. He replied automatically, paying no attention to his own words. 

_You killed her_, that voice inside of him said in horror, _killed Aeris. How could you? Have you forgotten her entirely? _

What do you mean? 

She cared about you; too long ago, perhaps, for her to remember, but she cared, and you returned that sentiment. She trusted you once, and now you've betrayed her! 

She set herself in my path by summoning Holy. What was I supposed to have done? 

Spare her, as she would have done for you. 

It's too late now. There is nothing I can do to change it. 

You could bring her back! You know you could. 

But I need that energy! he snapped in protest. 

_For what?_ the voice asked bitterly. _Your plan to become a god? I suppose if you don't mind killing that many, one life is of no consequence to you, even hers._

Sephiroth scoffed silently. _I need no one to care about me. _

You're a poor liar. All you have ever wanted is to belong somewhere, and despite everything that you are, she accepted you once. If you stopped this madness and brought her back, perhaps she would again, even after all you've done. 

The Cetra girl may be quite beautiful, but she means nothing to me. His business here done, he turned to go.

* * *

Sephiroth opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling, not wanting to remember any more. _I... did that? _

Yes, my son, you did. 

He shut his eyes with a shudder. _And I... I enjoyed it. _

So, will you join me? Now that you remember everything, surely you'd like to kill them. 

Some of them, perhaps, he admitted reluctantly. _They were cruel to me. But I was crueler. _

They left you alive to suffer. You ended their pain swiftly. 

And augmented that of the survivors. 

If you had succeeded in your plan, none of them would be alive now to suffer. 

And I would be all alone. 

I would be with you. 

Sephiroth grimaced. _I don't want your company. _

What, you'd rather have Aeris by your side? 

..maybe... Yes... I don't know. He faltered, sitting up and shaking his head. _I suppose... I barely know her, after all. Perhaps... perhaps I am only giving her the traits I've always wanted in a... in a friend. I've only known a few kind words from her. _

She only spoke to you because she was afraid in your silence, and when she tried to convince you to let Minerva take her, she did so out of her own self-interest. She may speak kindly, but she does so for her own profit. 

He could not believe that. _Then why did she try to comfort me? Why did she tell me that I had a good soul, that I was kind? Why did she liken me to herself? _

To make you seem less frightening. She was right about one thing, though: you are too kind. 

If I were, then I would not have killed so many. 

I will admit that I pushed you to do it, and that you did not have as much control over the matter as you may have liked... but it was you who put an end to it. It was your kindness that was our undoing. 

What do you mean? 

You don't remember that part yet? 

Sephiroth hesitated, then finally let himself remember the rest. It surprised him, a little. _I... I wanted to die, didn't I? _

Yes, Jenova answered, with some apparent distaste at the memory. _Their words got to you, and you regretted what you had done. You only wanted to die and let Holy do its work. _

But you wouldn't let me, he continued with a frown. _You made me keep fighting, but you could not take complete control, and so they killed me after all. _

Yes. 

His frown deepened. _Then why are you wasting your time on me, if I'm such a weakling? _

Oh, I don't think I'm wasting it. 

Then you expect me to join you? 

Yes. 

"I do not wish to kill anymore," he stated, though he was not as certain of himself as he would like. He felt he needed to say it aloud, else his conviction would fail. 

_But don't you remember how much you enjoyed setting fire to Nibelheim? Picture the beautiful flames in your mind, the chorus of screams, the blood in the air. Tell me: wasn't it wonderful?_

"Yes," he found himself whispering. He gave a start. "No! No..." 

_And think of when you killed Aeris. Was she not beautiful in death? Did you not enjoy spilling her blood? Try to deny it, if you can._

"I... did enjoy it, didn't I? I cannot deny it... but it sickens me. I want no more of it." 

_I'm sure you'll soon return to your senses. After all, it would be a pity to waste your best and only skill. You've always been such an efficient killer._

"I know." 

"Sephiroth?" 

He started; it was Minerva. Straightening, he stared at the adjoining wall for a moment, wondering how much she had heard and whether he had really heard her. "...yes?" 

"She is talking to you, isn't she? Trying to convince you to join her?" 

"Yes," he answered, hoping that she could provide him with some solution. He did not want to join Jenova, and yet, if he did not, she would... 

"Do not pay her any mind; she needs you to make her plans work. If you do not help her, she can do nothing against you." There was a certitude in Minerva's voice that was reassuring, but it was not enough. 

_Minerva is only resentful because she is trapped here and has not the strength to escape. She hates the fact that she would have to ask for help from anyone, especially me._

"Shut up," Sephiroth muttered. 

There was an awkward pause. 

"...I wanted to... apologize," Minerva began, her confidence gone. "To you, because I cannot say it to them." 

He wished that he could see her face. "Apologize for what?" 

"I tried to resist it, but I failed." She sighed, and a hint of self-mockery entered her voice. "Aeris's friends? Sent to rescue you? Severely injured, captured, and it is all because of my weakness." 

Sephiroth found that he did not care. "You tried, at least," he offered. 

"'Tried' counts for nothing," Minerva snapped harshly. "I should have known that I could not endure it." 

He did not know what to say. "I think," he said instead, "that Aeris herself is coming." 

"What can she hope to accomplish? She will only get herself captured, and then everything is lost." 

Silence. 

_Sephiroth, my son..._

"How did you get to be this strong with her voice always in your mind?" 

Minerva's voice had grown softer. "I learned very early never to trust anyone. She spoke little in my childhood, and by the time she began her efforts, I was old enough to reject her lies." 

"Does she ever let up?" 

"She is being relentless with you, isn't she? Keep hold of your sanity and your convictions. Do not let her change them." 

Sephiroth looked down at his hands, by which countless people had died. "I am afraid that I am not strong enough for that. Last time, I..." 

"Hold on. Aeris... will be here soon. And then she can save you."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Though it's never mentioned in the story, that brief scene with Talya and Sephiroth outside occurs shortly after Hojo alters her in the same way he did Vincent. No wonder she's irritable. P 

The original version of this chapter contained an encounter between a young Sephiroth and Vincent, which as I recall I had written before even starting Fallen or at least before writing the bulk of the fic. It was interesting, I guess, but I don't think it makes sense for Vincent to just leave Sephiroth in Hojo's care if he could get out of his coffin. I think the scene's merit lay chiefly in the fact that because of Talya's speculations, Sephiroth thought Vincent might have been his father. That's not a route I've ever chosen to take, however, because I think it's a lot more dramatic to keep Hojo as Sephiroth's father. It worked well in Irony of Fate, but not so well for any of my works. 

Also cut was a scene when Sephiroth arrives in Midgar and goes to join SOLDIER, mostly because it wasn't really interesting, and I needed to cut as much as I could to make this chapter a reasonable length. 


	20. Trapped

**Chapter 19: Trapped**

Failure. Again. 

This time, he had brought many others down with him, people he had almost dared to call friends. Now, Sephiroth would remain subject to Hojo's experiments. Aeris had no one but Nanaki and Miera to protect her. And Lucrecia... what would happen to her? Would Hojo steal her away again? Gods, he should have just come alone. 

"Hey, Vinny, you awake?" 

He opened his eyes to meet Yuffie's dark grey gaze. Her voice had the guise of cheerfulness, but it was strained with uncertainty and fear. 

Vincent sat up, his black hair falling forward into his eyes. He shoved it back absently and noticed then that his bandana was missing. He glanced at Yuffie questioningly. 

She shrugged nervously and gestured to his arm. "It makes for a good bandage. They took all our materia, so I couldn't heal it." 

He nodded and murmured a quiet "thank you" before looking around. He sat on the floor, Yuffie crouching nearby, in a small room devoid of any furnishings. The door had a complicated lock that would not be easy to pick without triggering an alarm. 

"Oh!" Yuffie exclaimed suddenly, drawing his attention. He turned his head to look at her, noticing only then the dull pain in his head. Yuffie must have had it worse, but she had not complained. Vincent was impressed. 

"I think it was Minerva," the ninja went on, handing him a small-cloth-wrapped bundle. "She left this for you." 

He unfolded it silently, finding a few tools inside. It was an apology, he soon ascertained; she had left these for the reparation of his arm, which now hung as a dead weight at his left. 

Vincent set to work immediately, removing the obtrusive bandage and pushing up the sleeve to expose what flesh remained of that arm. The wound had begun to heal, tentatively, but he ignored its progress and stabbed the metal point of a sharp tool into the gash, searching for the damaged parts of metal. He ignored the pain, but he saw Yuffie wince and look away. 

"I wonder how the others are doing," she said quietly, hesitantly trying to draw him into conversation. He had no speculation to offer, however, so he said nothing. She glanced at him briefly and looked away again. He wondered if she was afraid of him; she certainly had every right to be. 

"Is it bad?" she asked. 

He paused to spare her a questioning glance. 

"Your, uh... injury." 

He shrugged and went back to work. Somehow his lack of response failed to encourage further attempts at conversation. For a long while, the only sounds in the room came from the tools clinking faintly against the metal of his arm. 

Vincent studied Yuffie out of the corner of his eye. Admittedly the ninja had surprised him. In the past five years, she'd grown from a slip of a girl into a young woman, not only physically but mentally as well. Though her overconfidence and spunk remained, her child-like complaints and stubbornness had vanished, replaced by a genuine regard for her companions. 

Sitting nearby on her heels, she seemed oddly poised for action, yet the barrier of the unknown and the untouchable served as an obstacle to any such endeavors. She did not speak again until he set down the bloodied tools and retrieved his bandana. He was surprised to find a tinge of bitterness in her voice. 

"I'll bet I can guess what you're thinking," she sighed, rocking back off her heels to sit on her rear. "'Aw, shit, I'm stuck with _Yuffie_ of all people. I hope she'll just shut up and leave me be instead of being her usual annoying, bratty self.'" 

Vincent listened silently, winding the red fabric around his arm. 

"Only, you'd never say it like that," she continued. "Or maybe you'd never say it at all because you think yourself too much of a gentleman. You'd just refuse to acknowledge it. But let's face it: you can't stand me." 

Tying off the bandana, he finally met her gaze. "That isn't at all what I was thinking," he told her flatly. 

"Oh, so I guess you barely even noticed me." 

"I meant, you could not be farther from the truth." 

Yuffie eyed him uncertainly. "What, you mean you _don't_ think I'm annoying?" 

"No." 

"...then what _do_ you think?" When he did not answer, she shook her head, grinning halfheartedly. "I guess that's going a little far, huh? To ask the opinion of Vinny Valentine." 

"No, it isn't. To be honest, Yuffie, you've impressed me with how much you've matured in the past few years. You have grown stronger, I think, in more ways than one." He hesitated. "You remind me... of a woman I once met in Wutai." 

Yuffie sat up eagerly. "You're from Wutai?" 

"Yes, though I only lived there in my early childhood. This woman I met while visiting as a Turk." 

Her face fell at the reminder of his association with Shinra. "Oh, that's right... You helped destroy it, didn't you?" 

"Yes," he answered, fully expecting her to condemn him for it. 

But when Yuffie looked up, she was smiling. "Well, that's okay. It was a long time ago, and it's not like you can undo stuff that's already happened. Wutai got ruined; you can't change that." 

"But you can," Vincent said softly. 

"Huh?" 

"With you to lead it, I am certain Wutai will return to its former glory." 

She flushed in embarrassment. "Thanks..." 

He shrugged uncomfortably. 

"I think you're going soft, Vinny," she told him, trying to joke her way through her discomfort. "All these compliments--it's not like you." 

"I suppose not." 

"Is it 'cause you've got Lucrecia back now?" she asked suddenly. 

Probably, she was right, but at the moment he could only think of how he had failed Lucrecia by not bringing her back her son. He said nothing. 

Yuffie shrugged. "Guess I won't push it. I mean, you've already said more in the past five minutes than you used to in a month." 

A silence fell between them, and a more serious expression fell across the young ninja's face like a shadow. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms about them. "What do you think they're gonna do with us?" 

Vincent frowned; he had not bothered to consider it. "Likely he wants us alive for the same reasons he wants Sephiroth and Aeris." 

"You mean... human experimentation?" she asked with a shudder. 

"Yes. In your case." 

"That's right; you're not human, and neither are they. You've all been through this before, haven't you?" 

Vincent nodded silently, trying to keep the vivid details from coming to mind. 

"I'm scared," Yuffie confessed suddenly. "Of what he might do to me..." 

The lock attracted his attention once more. "I know," he replied; there was nothing he could say to comfort her. "We need to find a way out." 

She lifted her head. "Hey, is that why he put us together?" When Vincent glanced at her in confusion, she went on, "I mean, he doesn't want us to get out, so he threw us together 'cause he expects us to be, I dunno, counterproductive. 'Cause you don't talk, and I talk too much--Which means, I guess, that I should shut up now so we can get to work, right?" 

"Right." 

Yuffie grinned. "Looks like it didn't work very well."

* * *

Elena pushed herself up, rubbing her head, and made the mistake of getting to her feet too quickly. Why did her head hurt so badly? Where was she? Steadying herself, she looked around. A metal-walled cell greeted her eyes, featureless and devoid of furniture save for a small cot shoved into a corner like an afterthought. 

She glanced down to find Cid coming to his senses. Once he had sat up, she asked, "How's your head?" 

The pilot stared up at her blankly, as though not recognizing her. Then he cleared his throat and said gruffly, "Like shit." A pause. "How're you feeling?" 

"It's like there's a hammer in my head," she complained melodramatically, putting a hand to her head as she sat down on the edge of the cot. She sighed and went on soberly, "I guess we're just lucky nothing worse happened to us. We've still got all our limbs, after all." 

"For how long?" Cid wondered. "Maybe he'll do one of us like he did Vincent." 

"Ugh! He'd better not choose me!" 

"It was prob'ly just a special case," he reasoned. "He's got nothin' personal against us." 

Elena was not reassured. "Do you think we can get outta here?" 

"Dunno." He nodded towards the door. "Can you pick that kinda lock?" 

She followed his gaze and shook her head. "Not me. Maybe Reno could--maybe. You'd have to get it exactly right on the first try, or it'd trigger an alarm." 

"Damn." 

"I don't see any other way out, do you?" 

Cid shook his head. "Looks like we're stuck here for a while." 

Elena sighed. "We should've tried to find our own way in, instead of persuading her to take us. If she were strong enough to help us, she would've left Hojo years ago." 

"I'm still not convinced she didn't set out to trap us," Cid said flatly. "But hey, your friend seems to like her, huh?" 

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, please, Reno likes anything that's female and isn't me." 

"Why'd he rule you out?" 

"How should I know? When we were Turks, he just saw me as 'the rookie,' and now I'm just... I dunno, like a bratty little sister to him." 

"Huh. Guess that sucks." 

"Oh, no, I don't care. You think I want him flirting with me? I'll take little sister to that any day." 

This won a curt laugh from Cid. "Wouldn't know, kid." 

Elena smiled faintly in response and lay back on the cot, her thoughts elsewhere. Reno had always been cool to her, and that was fine, but... so had Tseng. When she'd known him, he'd barely even noticed her, except to give out orders or scoldings. Only at the Temple had he talked to her like she was his equal, and asked her to dinner. 

Though she doubted he had meant it. She had seen him on his death bed, and what had he said? 'Tell Aeris I'm sorry.' Elena had only been second choice, because he'd known Aeris was out of his reach. What did Aeris have that was so attractive to everyone? Okay, so it wasn't that hard of a question; she was pretty, she was smart, she was nice, and she was brave, too. Elena could never amount to something like that. 

Even if Tseng was revived, he would never want _her_. 

She stared up at the ceiling with a frown, wishing there were something to take her mind off of this. "No dots to count," she commented. 

"Huh?" 

"Nothing to do until they come to tell us what they're gonna do with us." 

"If they bother telling us." 

"Think they'll kill us?" 

"Hojo? Nah. That bastard wouldn't waste lives like that, not when he has so many potential 'specimens.' He'll find something to use us for." 

"'Potential specimen'? I'd rather die."

* * *

"Goddamnit," Reno muttered, forcing his eyes open and carefully pushing himself up. The pain in his head seemed to swirl violently, and he almost fell over again. 

"I thought you'd be used to it," a voice remarked flatly. Looking up, Reno saw that the voice belonged to Cloud, and an annoyed gaze to a pair of Mako blue eyes. "What, with your hangovers and all," the blond added. 

The Turk grumbled incoherently and got to his feet, pushing at his messy hair. "This is worse than a hangover." 

"Whatever. It's about time you got up." 

"Sorry," Reno said dryly, "I wasn't aware we were in a hurry." 

"You wanna stay here forever?" 

"Sure, seems pretty nice to me," the redhead replied, looking around appraisingly. "I just love the whole lack-of-color thing they've got going on." 

Cloud folded his arms. "This is no time to be joking around." 

"Man, you need to lighten up. Why'd I have to get stuck with _you_? Even _Elena_ would be better company." 

"Thanks a lot. You're no picnic either. But we've gotta get out of here." He eyed the lock on the door, clearly vexed. "We should never have listened to that girl. All she did was lead us inside so she could beat the hell out of us when our guard was down." 

"Hey," Reno protested, "she was trying _not_ to beat the hell out of us. I mean, she could've killed us easy, but she didn't. Hell, she even warned us!" 

"You're only defending her because she's a girl," Cloud stated. 

"Okay, so she's cute, but that's got nothing to do with it." 

The blond leaned back against the wall, regarding him skeptically. "Sure it doesn't." 

Reno sighed in annoyance. "Anyway, she said she was sorry." 

"She didn't sound sorry, and even if she meant it, that doesn't make up for anything." 

He shook his head. "No, not then. I mean, after the fight." 

"What?" 

"You mean you didn't hear it?" 

Cloud shook his head. "If she said anything, I didn't hear it." 

"It wasn't out loud. It was like... in my head." 

The blond eyed him critically. "Are you feeling all right? Besides the worse-than-a-hangover headache, I mean." 

Reno glared at him, roughly shoving his hands in his pockets and opening his mouth to bite off a retort. He stopped. He never carried anything but loose change and rubber bands in his pockets, but here was a slip of paper and--he pulled the items out--a screwdriver. Too, he noticed his nightstick tucked in his waistband. He glanced at Cloud, who was watching as though no longer certain whether or not to be angry, and unfolded the paper. The handwriting was neat and sharp, with no time wasted on elegance. 

_I am sorry for being such a fool as to think I could help you. They would not let me heal you, but perhaps I can provide some aid indirectly. I put you in this room for a reason; there is an old air vent above you that I believe you can access as an escape route._

"What's that?" 

He handed the note to Cloud, pocketed the screwdriver, and looked up. At first, he saw nothing out of the ordinary, just a metal-panelled ceiling with several bright white lights set in it. 

"I don't see anything," Cloud commented dubiously. 

Reno glanced at him. "What, you think they'd made it obvious?" The two looked in silence for several minutes before the redhead pointed. "There." 

"Oh. I see it." 

The Turk made his way over to the room's narrow bed. "Could you gimme a hand? We lift it vertical, and it should be sturdy enough..." 

"Wait. How do you know she's not trying to trick us somehow?" 

"What d'you mean?" 

"Well, why can't she help us more directly?" 

Reno shrugged. "I guess it's like Elena said. And if Hojo notices her opening doors for us, she's gonna get it." 

"You really believe that?" 

"Didn't you see how much pain she was in?" he asked, waiting with one hand on the headboard. "She wasn't faking that." 

Cloud shrugged. "Okay, okay. I guess this's our best chance, right? Why trick us if we're already captured?" 

"Right. So are you gonna help me with this or what?" 

The blond nodded and came over to help Reno lift the bed so that it rested on its backboard. The Turk then scrambled to the top while Cloud held it steady. Pulling out the screwdriver, he proceeded to open the duct and remove the cover. Once done, he set the panel aside and poked his head into the opening. 

"Whoa, small." 

"Can you fit in, though?" 

"I think so. Lemme try." Reno pocketed the screws and hoisted himself into the duct, crawling forward a ways. Satisfied that he could move around, he backed up to stick his head out of the opening. "Yeah, just barely. I don't think you could fit." 

"You just saying that because you wanna leave me here?" 

"You wanna climb up and see for yourself? Be my guest." 

"All right, I will." Cloud pulled himself up atop the bed while Reno crawled backwards out of his way. The blond stuck his head into the opening. "It is small," he admitted reluctantly. He climbed back down, and the redhead promptly reappeared. 

"See? So, I'll go and see if I can get you and the others out, though that'll prolly take a while 'cause I've got no idea where this goes." 

"How do I know you won't just bail yourself out and leave the rest of us here?" 

"Hey," Reno said indignantly, "you think I'd leave my Turks behind and abandon the mission? 'sides, Aeris'd never forgive me if I left you locked up, of all people." 

Cloud frowned. 

"Anyway," Reno went on, "you've gotta cover my tracks so they can't figure out where I've gone." He pulled the screws out of his pocket and set them carefully down on the panel cover so they wouldn't roll off. "Hurry up and get everything back to normal. If someone walks in while the room's like this, we're in deep shit." 

"What do I tell them?" 

The Turk grinned. "Pretend I was never here. That's easy enough, right?" 

Cloud nodded. 

"Well, see ya." With that, he pulled himself forward across the opening and into the darkness of the air duct. He wondered if it led across the other cells, though he guessed it didn't matter if it wasn't accessible from them. 

It was annoying that he couldn't see anything. Even his Mako-enhanced vision could make nothing out of this darkness except imaginary designs and swirling colors. It was slow going, and it seemed even slower with no way to mark either his progression or the passage of time; he couldn't read his watch in this black. He hoped Cloud wasn't making a fool of himself. He hoped the others were all right. 

And he wondered if Minerva was all right. Even if she had won in the end, they'd put up a good fight, and maybe Hojo had punished her on top of that, for trying to disobey him. Reno had been in Hojo's lab a couple of times, for the Mako treatments, but he couldn't imagine what it was like for Minerva, being a specimen her whole life. Had she even seen the light of day before going to capture Sephiroth? 

He stopped suddenly. What was that? He thought he heard a murmur of song... coming from up ahead. The humming stopped momentarily, and Reno crawled stealthily forward so that if she started up again, he'd be able to hear it. Sure enough, he soon heard a disconsolate voice below him. 

"What are demons,  
If you don't fight them?  
Supposedly they add to your burdens,  
But if they do, I don't notice. 

"And what is pain,  
If it doesn't hurt you?  
I have heard people scream from it,  
But I never have, and why should I? 

"And what is love,  
If no one loves you?  
Presumably... it is to be strived for,  
But what's one emotion worth? 

"And who am I?  
What am I here for?  
I have no strength, no love, no fear--  
So who would desire such a girl?" 

By this time he had identified the singer as Minerva. She had a beautiful singing voice, he thought, clear and clean, but not too high. He heard her sigh below him and mutter, "No one, no one at all." 

He wanted to talk to her, but he worried that the sound might carry to other parts of the lab. Instead, he tapped once on the panel below him, hoping she'd notice. 

"Oh," she said softly, "I see you've made it into the ducts. Do not say anything; they will hear." 

Reno held his tongue with some effort. 

"You heard me singing, didn't you?" she asked tonelessly. "You want to comfort me? Humans are so strange..." He could imagine her shaking her head. 

"If you continue in the direction you are headed, you will come out in the reactor. You can make your way out from there. As for your comrades, I would not advise coming back for them." She paused, and something about her tone changed slightly. "I have heard that Aeris is coming. You should stop her if you can; she will only get herself captured like the rest of you." 

_Aeris is coming? What the hell does she think she's doing?_ Reno hesitated, then wordlessly thanked Minerva and went on his way. Silence and darkness slunk in to claim their thrones as he crawled. Time stretched out as thin as it would go, and then stretched further. Yet somehow, despite the monotony, he found no room to think in the suffocating closeness of the air duct. 

Light filtered in slowly enough for him not to notice he was nearing an exit until suddenly he was there at the end of the duct with a metal ladder leading down. Reno climbed out gratefully and nearly danced for joy there on the fragile-looking walkway. 

Instead Reno peered into the semidarkness which, compared to the duct, seemed as bright as day. He did not recognize this part of the reactor; had they laid it out differently from the others, or had Meteor wreaked these changes upon it? 

More importantly, where would he go from here? He could either find a way back and free the others, or find the exit and stop Aeris from making a mistake. What was she thinking, coming here? he wondered. She couldn't take care of herself, much less rescue anyone. He decided that making sure she stayed out of Hojo's grasp was more important; after convincing her, he could go back for the others on his own. Anyway, the others were probably working on getting out, too. They weren't stupid. 

Reno looked around again and nearly laughed. What was he thinking? He didn't even know which way was which! How was he supposed to decide? With a shrug, he picked a direction and figured wherever he ended up would determine his actions.

* * *

"Damnit, Rude, can't you think of anything? You were a Turk, weren't you? Aren't the Turks supposed to be experts at getting in and out of places without being noticed?" 

"Sorry," he muttered. Why did Hojo have to put him with _her_? He could have worked with anyone, even Cloud, but not her. 

Tifa turned to eye him critically. "What's up with you anyway?" 

He shook his head. "Nothing, I'm sorry." He leaned back against the wall and scanned the room, but his mind refused to focus. Five years hadn't changed her, he thought. She was still just as strong and just as beautiful as she had been then--and currently, just as angry as she used to get sometimes. 

"No, it's not nothing," she stated with a frown. "So spit it out so we can move on." 

He fixed his eyes on the door behind her, keeping his voice level. "Five years ago, when you were with Avalanche, I... developed feelings for you. It seems they haven't properly faded." 

"What?" she exclaimed. Clearly this was the last thing she had expected. "But--how? We only ran into you guys a few times." 

Rude shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. "We saw much more of you than you did of us. The Turks did not specialize in getting caught." 

"Looks like you're caught now, though." 

He nodded silently. 

Tifa cleared her throat. "So, can you get that out of your head and help me with this lock?" 

Another nod. He could tell his confession had only made her uncomfortable, but at least she wasn't angry anymore. He scanned the room first for any other ways out, but found nothing. Shaking his head, he strode forward for a better look at the lock. 

"Anything?" Tifa asked after a few minutes. 

"No. I'm not familiar with this kind of lock." 

She sighed and slumped against a wall. "Does that mean there's no getting out of here on our own?" 

Rude nodded. 

Tifa frowned anxiously. "Let's hope the others had better luck," she said, though she did not sound very hopeful.

* * *

Reeve lay on his back staring up at the ceiling, the cold of the tile floor beneath him seeping through his clothing. He was alone. He wondered briefly if the others were alone like he was, and how they were doing, but thoughts like those would do him no good. He had to find a way out of here. 

He saw nothing promising in the ceiling, and the lights were beginning to blind him. The metal panels fit too snugly; there was nothing above them. Sitting up, he turned his attention to the door, studying the lock. No, he didn't know how to get past that. He spared the floor a cursory examination and came up empty there, too. 

He knew his other options. He was out of practice, but he could still operate Cait Sith. The question was what to do with it. He could return to the reactor, but what would he do then? He wouldn't even be able to get across the gap to the reactor or past Minerva's wall. 

Or, he could send Cait to Cosmo Canyon to seek aid from Nanaki and Miera. With their sharp feline minds, maybe they could figure out a solution. The problem with this was that Aeris would want to get involved, and he didn't want to risk putting her in danger. 

Then again, she'd probably already sensed something was amiss. Moreover, being a Cetra, maybe she would be able to get them past Minerva's barriers. And, he supposed, Minerva could capture her no matter where she was. 

Reeve moved to the cot and lay down to concentrate, resolving to try to meet up with Aeris.

* * *

Sephiroth studied Talya carefully from where he sat in a corner. She had come in some time ago, but barely spoken. It almost seemed as though she had not noticed his presence. "How are they doing?" he asked. 

"Hmm?" 

"Aeris's friends. Minerva captured them for you, did she not?" 

Talya looked down at her hands. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you know." He waited, and she sighed. "They're all right. Min said for the most part she didn't give them any serious wounds." 

"I see." 

"Aeris wasn't with them," she said suddenly. 

"I know, but you will be going to get her soon enough." 

She shrugged. "No orders yet. Minerva's been acting kinda weird..." 

"That is understandable." 

Talya looked over at him. "Then could you explain it to me? 'cause I sure don't get it." When he only smirked in reply, she sighed and glanced at the door. "You haven't even tried to escape, have you?" 

"No. Why should I?" 

"You mean you want to be one of Hojo's specimens? You want him to treat you like this?" 

"No." 

"Then why don't you leave?" There was something almost plaintive about her voice. 

"Because I need to be contained," Sephiroth answered. "I am dangerous. If I leave here, people will die." 

Talya scoffed. "You wouldn't kill anyone. You're sane." 

"Am I, really?" 

_I have been wondering much the same thing_, Jenova remarked carefully. _You've been very quiet since you remembered what you did to Aeris._

"What are you talking about?" Talya demanded, but her eyes betrayed her uncertainty. 

"How do you know I'm sane?" he asked. _Thanks to you, I cannot think straight_, he spat. _I keep recalling how beautiful she looked when she died. But I will never fight for you. I am staying here, where I cannot get to anyone, where Minerva will keep my powers beyond my reach. _

What if Minerva were to let go her control? 

Talya was eyeing him skeptically, and the doubt had reached her voice. "Sure you're more secretive than before, but that doesn't mean you're insane. You look fine..." 

Sephiroth smiled. "You're such a fool. You think I would show it that plainly?" _I might let go mine. _

And you'd kill for me? 

"Last time, you burned down a village and killed hundreds," the ex-Turk stated flatly. "I'd call that 'showing it plainly.'" 

"Ah, but now I've no villages to burn and nothing to burn them with. No people to kill save you, and nothing to kill you with save my bare hands..." _Not for you. I was created to destroy, was I not? It is what comes easiest to me, and I do enjoy it. But, that pleasure does not justify it. _

So you're glad they have you trapped like this? Jenova queried flatly, but he did not answer her. 

Talya had nothing to say. Her eyes were a bit too wide, and she kept glancing at the door. 

He stood smoothly. "I wonder... if I could kill you here and now. Of course, it wouldn't be a pretty death, without the clean cuts and the blood flowing out of you." He paced slowly forward, watching the emotions in her eyes. "Perhaps you wish to leave now?" A part of him hoped that she would, but another part wanted to search her for a knife, a blade of any kind, and run it down her bare arms, along her cheek, across her throat to let free the blood. 

He stopped himself a few paces from her and shook his head. _No, no, why am I thinking like this? _

Because it's in your nature. 

Talya had gotten to her feet by this time and stood with her back pressed to the wall. Seeing him frozen, she moved cautiously to the door, eyeing him with fear and something like concern. "Get a grip on yourself, okay? You're scaring me." 

"Must I? _Can_ I?" Sephiroth shook his head. "I doubt it, but I will try," he managed. 

Talya stared at him for a moment longer, then quickly slipped out the door and locked it behind her. 

He sat down hard on the bed. _Good, she's gone. _

She's afraid of you. 

She should be.

* * *

"Thank you," the shopkeeper said, smiling as she accepted the coinage. 

Aeris hefted her newly-acquired Prism Staff. It was light, and, despite going for so long without it, the make still felt familiar in her grip. 

"Excuse me," the woman said hesitantly, leaning forward across the counter, "but your face looks familiar..." 

The Cetra looked up. "Yes, I guess it might. I came here with my friends about five years ago." 

"Five years ago," she murmured, tapping her lip thoughtfully. "Oh! You're one of Nanaki's friends?" 

"That's right." 

The shopkeeper straightened, her friendly smile returning. "Have you been here long?" 

"Only a few days," Aeris answered. 

"And you're leaving already? Where are you going?" 

"Midgar." 

The woman's eyes widened. "All the way to Midgar? I've heard it's a hideous place now, with what Meteor did to it. Why do you want to go _there_?" 

"I have business there, and besides, I grew up in Midgar. It's about time I paid it a visit." 

"I guess," the shopkeeper agreed doubtfully. "Well, have a safe journey." 

"Thank you," Aeris replied. She headed down the steps to the gate where Nanaki was waiting. 

He bumped his head against her leg in greeting. "You look cheery this morning." 

She knelt down to stroke his mane. "I feel like I could take on the world." 

He turned his head to regard her with some amusement. "And you know, that is almost what we are doing." 

Aeris laughed. "I guess you're right. So, what did Miera say?" 

"She's staying here. '_Someone_ has to keep the little ones out of trouble,' she says." 

The Cetra shook her head and straightened. "Well then, are you ready to go?" 

"Yes," he replied, then turned his head to look beyond her. Aeris followed his gaze to watch Katrina run up. 

"Hey, guys," she greeted with some confusion. "You going somewhere?" 

Aeris hesitated, and decided on the truth. "We're worried that our friends are in trouble, so we're going off to Midgar to help them out." 

"Then you've got your strength back after, uh, being dead and then reviving Lucrecia?" 

"Not completely," the Cetra admitted, "but if they're in trouble, then I can't afford to waste any time." 

"Can I come with?" Katrina asked brightly. 

She shook her head, smiling apologetically. "No, I don't think so. If you couldn't protect yourself from a few wolves, this battle will be far too dangerous for you." 

"But..." 

"I know you want to help," Aeris went on, "but wanting isn't enough. You'll only get in the way if you come with us, so please, just stay here and look after Lucrecia until we get back." 

Nanaki nudged the girl's calf to get her attention. "Look after Kari, too, if you can. She is the most troublesome child in the village." 

Katrina forced herself to smile. "I... I'll do that." 

"Thank you." 

"Well, good luck." 

Aeris nodded gratefully and turned through the gate and down the steps, Nanaki at her heels. There they found the gold chocobo, and she stroked its neck absently, looking back towards the gate. "I hope she's not resentful, being left behind..." 

"She must realize she wouldn't be able to help." 

"I guess so," the Cetra agreed reluctantly, "but I still feel for her. I've heard those words before myself, and I didn't like it." Sighing, she pulled herself up atop the chocobo and looked down at Nanaki. "Can you keep up with a chocobo?" 

"Fairly well," he replied. "I presume we are going to Costa del Sol from here?" He said it without sentiment, but she saw his nose wrinkle in distaste and remembered how much he had hated the heat. 

"Only to buy passage on a ship to Junon." He nodded, and Aeris turned the chocobo northeast. "Well, let's get going. We've got a long road ahead of us, in more ways than one."

* * *

She listened to the sounds of Talya's receding footsteps, waiting until she was certain she would not be interrupted. Then her hand travelled slowly to her head. She sat down, her eyes closing, her fingers sliding through her silver hair, searching pointlessly. When he had electrocuted her, she felt as though she could feel it... right there. Her fingers stopped. There was nothing but scalp and fine hair, and she let her hand drop. That she had no access to it came as no surprise. 

The electricity had hurt her, of course, but the pain had originated from that one point, and she wondered if the energy had damaged the device, too. 

_If it was damaged, then why didn't you stop fighting, hmm?_

Minerva's eyes snapped open and her head shot up. _Shut up. I don't want to hear anything from you on the subject. _

But doesn't it prove that you enjoyed fighting them? 

It proves nothing. I simply cannot think with that pain in my body. 

So you still claim you do not want to kill them? You know you may have to, if the Professor deems them worthless. 

I refuse. I will kill myself if he orders me to kill any of them. Just fighting them, I... I cannot. I will not do it again. He cannot make me! 

You know, Jenova reminded her gently, _if you would only change your mind, you wouldn't have to stay here. You wouldn't have to kill them. My offer still stands. _

You would only have me slaughter others. I refuse. 

Then don't come crying to me when you have to execute the Cetra's friends. 

Since when have I asked you for help? Minerva demanded. 

_Never. _

Exactly. So cease this nonsense. Her eyes were on the lock. _I wonder... if it is truly damaged, could I just... walk out? Could I destroy the lock and leave without them ever noticing? _

It's strange, Jenova remarked. _Sephiroth would never have had any problem getting out of here, but you find it nearly impossible. _

What do you mean? 

Oh, he'd just teleport himself elsewhere. Minerva could sense the venom in Jenova's words as she added, _Back to that Cetra friend of his. _

I do not know how to do everything Sephiroth does, the girl stated coolly. 

_If you could release him from your spell, he could have the both of you out of here in an instant._

Minerva glanced at the wall between her room and Sephiroth's, wondering if he could hear her conversation with Jenova. She wondered, too, if it would be wise to free him in the condition he was in. _The last time I tried something like that, the Professor nearly killed me_, was all she said. 

_Ah, yes, that would be fresh in your mind. What was that? Two weeks ago? I still don't understand why you did it. _

I felt something, and I knew I had to leave before... 

Before what? 

This. 

Jenova fell silent, and Minerva sighed in relief. She stood, studying the lock. It would be so easy to rip it apart, if only the pain in her head would leave her alone. She took a step closer, fingering that spot at the base of her skull. Would the device work? Was the damage only superficial? Or was it dead now, just a useless piece of metal in her head? 

Only one way to find out.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Another Yuffie/Vincent scene! Oh, they make me happy. I'd just like to note that the woman Yuffie reminds Vincent of would be her mother. If you have him in your party when meeting Yuffie, Vincent will say "I've seen her somewhere before," which doesn't make sense unless you take into consideration that Yuffie may look a lot like her mother, who _would_ have been around in Vincent's time. I've always found that interesting, so I wanted to incorporate it. 

This chapter is just full of interesting character combinations. The Reno/Cloud scene was also a lot of fun to write. Minerva's song, not so easy. I did come up with a tune for it, but it's not really very good, so I've long since stopped sharing it. ;; In the original, it was one of two songs that Minerva composes, though she never sang the second one. The second she made for Aeris, but that's been cut from this version, partly because I decided it wasn't necessary, mostly because I don't really like the song anymore. 

Cut from this chapter was an exchange between Miera and Katrina where Katrina, frustrated about not being able to help rescue Sephiroth, went off to find someone to teach her to fight. When I wrote it I was considering having her join in a later fight, possibly against Jenova, but I realized that it wouldn't make sense because even if she did learn to fight competently in that short span of time, she'd still be far too inexperienced to fight Jenova. I liked illustrating that she wanted to help, but decided it wasn't important enough to include. 


	21. An Ongoing Struggle

**Chapter 20: An Ongoing Struggle**

_A scream threatened to escape her throat, but the little girl with the silver hair clamped her mouth shut tight and clenched her small fists until the racing pain left her and she fell with a thud to the floor. She sat there, staring at the door, breathing heavily. _

Footsteps sounded outside, and someone wrenched open the door, sending it slamming into the other wall with a raw violence. She ignored the noise, and her eyes followed the feet before her upwards to find the murderous face of the Professor glaring down at her. 

She was too stunned from the pain to look away. She did not move, yet it was not fear that paralyzed her; it was the heavy knowledge that she would never be able to leave this place. She would never know sunlight or see the night sky strung with stars, never feel the cool caress of a spring breeze or bask in the warmth of a lover's arms. Never. 

"What do you think you're doing?" the Professor demanded. "I thought I told you not to leave this room unless I let you out." 

"You did, sir." 

"Then why did you try to disobey me?" 

"Because I thought I could," she answered simply. 

"Don't ever try it again. You will only end up damaging yourself." 

She climbed to her feet, taking the moment to smooth all expression from her face. "Why didn't you tell me before?" 

The Professor cursed. "Talya thought it would be better for you not to know." 

She lied to me._ "Tell her I hate her." _

"You can tell her yourself."

* * *

Minerva gripped the doorknob tightly and pulled with all her strength, even putting magic into the force of her tugging. The resulting pain was immediate and sharp, racing all over her body, pins, needles, _daggers_ gouging her from every angle all at once. No scream came to her now; no scream had so much as suggested itself to her since that first escape attempt in her childhood. 

She could feel herself weakening, the energy draining from her, and only a determination to beat the pain kept her standing, pulling with all her dwindling might. The lock _would_ come free. The door _would_ open. 

She channelled the pain into her strength, using it to her advantage. She could feel her strength returning. She could feel the lock giving. Only a little longer, only a little longer. Her pain-wracked body protested, rejecting that assurance, and only her will kept it standing. Every fiber of her body wanted to give up, to collapse to the ground, to escape the pain, and only the thought that there was an _after_, a beyond to the pain kept her going. 

Black danced at the edge of her vision, closing in. Her body threatened to give way, to faint from the agony. She was dimly aware of Jenova screaming in the back of her mind--_You fool! You fool! Let go!_--dimly aware of Sephiroth's heightened attention. He was silent in her mind, yet perhaps he could sense her pain, sense what she was doing. If he could sense it, then could Jenova feel it? 

Minerva smiled, though she could no longer see and the pain was everywhere and everything, growing more and more intense. Her head was going to explode. The lock was giving. Footsteps. 

Only a little longer, just a little longer... 

The darkness enveloped her, and her body welcomed it, yet her mind struggled desperately to stay conscious. No! _No!_ She had to get out! Had to beat it, had to defy it, had to... 

_Idiot._

* * *

The passersby did frequent double-takes and gave the pair a wide berth as they walked by on the street. Nanaki knew their wariness was entirely because of him, and indeed he remembered the response from his days with Avalanche, but five years in Cosmo Canyon had stripped him of any familiarity with it. He kept wondering what they found so strange, and had to remind himself that his kind were hardly numerous. 

So it startled him even more when he realized that the passersby were no longer staring at him, but at something behind him. He glanced backwards, then nudged Aeris's calf as a familiar kittenish voice called out a hello. 

Cait Sith was the last... person? either had expected to meet in Junon. Aeris whirled around, let out a startled gasp, then smiled and bent down to swoop him up into her arms. "Hi, Cait," she greeted. 

"Put me down," he said indignantly, and she complied with a laugh. "I don't see how you can be so cheery, but I guess that's just the way you are." 

"Well, if you're functioning," she reasoned, "then Reeve must be all right, and the others probably are, too." 

"Maybe," Cait conceded, "but we're in bad shape. Minerva defeated the lot of us." 

"I thought something like that might have happened," Aeris said, her expression sobering as she nodded thoughtfully. "That's why we've come, and I'm glad we ran into you." 

"Me, too. I don't wanna get you in any danger, but I think we'll need your help." 

The Cetra seemed to catch something in his tone, and she tilted her head. "Oh?" 

"You'll see when we get there," he said, waving a paw dismissively. "Now, shouldn't we oughta get goin'?" 

She nodded agreement, and as they headed for the lift that would take them out of the city through Lower Junon, Nanaki was certain that it was their entire party that attracted stares. But whether this was a relief or an embarrassment, he wasn't sure.

* * *

She pushed herself up off the floor and remained poised on her hands and knees for a long moment, staring at the tiles, her silver hair sliding forward to dangle in front of her face. _Failure. I failed. Idiot._ Minerva closed her eyes, sat back, and absently pushed her hair out of her face as she checked her hold on Sephiroth, finding that she had not been out long enough for it to start coming apart. 

"You don't take long to recover, do you?" 

She looked up at Talya, who sat on the bed, then blinked and scanned the room. "Why did you move me?" 

"You pulled the door off your room, remember?" 

Minerva shook her head. "I did?" 

"Yeah. Clear off its hinges." 

She lowered her gaze, laughing softly in self-derision. _Opened a way out only to pass out from the pain. What a fool. _

Indeed, Jenova remarked irritably. _What were you thinking? _

I wanted to get out so badly, so that I could help them. I want to help them. Her laughter faded, and she stared blankly at her hands. _Maybe, if I can hold out that long when Aeris comes... maybe I won't have to fight her. _

Stupid girl. You can't do it if you have nothing to channel the pain towards. 

Minerva's eyes narrowed to green slits. _What if I attempted to kill myself? Is that sufficient? _

You cannot die. 

I could try to. 

That's foolish. You can't. 

"Min, are you okay?" Talya asked, actually sounding concerned. She had gotten up to move closer to her daughter and stood nearby, half-stooping, not sure what to do. 

The girl climbed to her feet and turned away. "Fine. I just... needed a moment to collect my senses." 

She could feel Talya's searching eyes on her back. "Why'd you try it anyway? That's the second time this month..." 

"You did not understand it before. Why should you be any closer to comprehending it now?" 

"That's why I'm asking you to explain it to me," she replied, sounding exasperated. 

Minerva did not reply. 

"All right, all right, I'll leave you alone." She left the room quietly, and the girl turned to stare after her. 

"...how do you know that's what I wanted?" Minerva murmured. She sat down abruptly on the floor, as though her legs could no longer support her. 

_Sephiroth? Are you listening? Are you still sane?_

Silence answered her. 

She closed her eyes against it, against everything. _I will not cry. I will not. I have never cried, and I am not about to start..._

* * *

They came to Midgar by the quickest route, straight through the mountains, and, keeping as quick a pace as they were able, they reached the city just after nightfall. Cait Sith had since informed them that Hojo had set up his lab in the Sector 7 reactor. That sector, Aeris decided, seemed to have the worst luck of all. 

She took the lead as they made their way into the rubble, though with everything that had happened to it, surely she knew the place no better now than either of her companions. When at last they reached the Number 7 Reactor, she did not hesitate, but went straight in, stopping only upon finding that the path came to an end. She was not familiar with reactors at all--actually this was her first time inside of one--and so she turned to Cait Sith questioningly. 

"Now what?" 

"There used to be a bridge leading across," he explained, "but someone took it down. I was sorta hoping you'd be able to get us across." 

Aeris hesitated. "I don't know, but I'll try. Where's the other side?" 

The cat gestured vaguely. "Off thataway," he replied, sounding apologetic. 

She nodded, studied the darkness for a while as though she could see their destination, and closed her eyes to concentrate. She prodded the air with her mind, questioning it, wondering what magic she could weave into it to support them or carry them across. Finally she called on her part of the Planet--not an easy thing in Midgar even now--to manipulate the air so that it would be firm enough to walk on. 

She held the command with her mind and her heart and took a tentative step onto nothing. The air seemed to wobble a little, or perhaps to sink under her foot, but it held. 

Turning to the others triumphantly, she said, "Let's head for the other side." The two kept close to her as she led the way across. If they were fearful of falling, she couldn't blame them; she felt that way herself. All three relaxed when they reached the metal landing across the abyss. 

Cait Sith then moved to the wall on the left, laying a paw against it. "Minerva tried to help us first," he said reflectively. "I think she led us almost to the lab before she gave in and fought us. Kinda sad, but useful now." He tapped the wall. "She opened up some sort of passage here. If you can get it open, I think I can remember the way." 

"All right," Aeris agreed. "I'll see what I can do." She walked over and touched the wall with a tentative hand. It struck her immediately that this was not real at all. Certainly it felt real, but it was made of... something else. A foreign magic, like that of Sephiroth, and so, of Minerva. She frowned. How, then, could she break the spell, if she could not understand it?" 

"Well?" Cait prompted. 

"Give me another minute," she said. "I'm still new at this." She probed it with her mind, searching for some weakness, but its very structure eluded her. She called out to the Planet for help, but only an indistinct murmur reached her. Well, she considered, if she could not dispel it, perhaps she could bend it. She pushed tentatively at a lower corner of the wall, watching to see if she made any progress. To her satisfaction, she could make out a tiny hole. She pushed harder, stretching it as far as she could. 

"That's the best I can do," she said, her voice strained. "You two go ahead." 

She waited while Cait abandoned his huge moogle and scampered through on all fours, followed by Nanaki, slinking low to the ground. Aeris crawled through after them and released the spell. 

"All right," she said to Cait. "Lead on." 

The started down the passage with the little cat in the lead, Nanaki just behind him for the light of his tail. It struck Aeris as odd, to be following two such felines. What strange friends she had! But she was glad for their oddities. She wouldn't have them any other way. 

Nanaki stopped suddenly, ears perking up. 

Aeris managed not to trip over him, and Cait Sith paused, glancing back. "What is it?" 

"Heard footsteps." He must have intended to whisper, but it came out as a low growl. 

The three waited uncertainly, listening as the faint footsteps grew closer. Did someone know they were here? Or--? 

Reno came into sight, and he gave a start when he saw them. For a moment, no one could speak. 

"Aeris?" he managed at last. 

"Reno!" she exclaimed. "What are you--? How did you escape?" 

"Minerva helped me out," he answered, shrugging dismissively. "Guess I must've found the way out." 

Aeris nodded hesitantly. "Do you want to head out, or come with us? It's a straight enough route back to the exit from here." 

"Hey, no way am I just leaving while you go try to rescue everybody." 

She put her hands on her hips indignantly. "And why not? You think I can't handle this myself?" 

"I _know_ you can't," he replied. He stepped deftly past Cait and Nanaki to take her by the shoulders. "_You_ should go back. Let the rest of us take care of it." 

Aeris shook her head stubbornly. "You'll need my help. You may not think so, but you will. Besides, I won't be safe anywhere until Hojo is dead and gone." 

"Minerva seemed to think otherwise," he insisted. "She has orders to take care of intruders, I'm sure, but Hojo hasn't asked her to go after you yet. You go in there now, and you're just making things easier for Hojo." 

"And what are you going to do if you run into her?" the Cetra demanded archly. "If she defeated the lot of you, how do you expect to deal with her alone?" 

"What, you think _you_'d have a better shot?" he asked, snorting. 

"Yes," she replied, "I do." 

Reno only frowned, not knowing quite how to counter such a simple statement. 

"Look, Reno. I've made up my mind, and you're not going to change it. Come with us if you're worried. We could probably use your help getting them out of their cells anyway." 

He sighed in defeat, and the group continued onward with its new member taking up the rear, keeping close behind Aeris. 

At length they came to a large empty room. In the far wall was a door, and beside it a keypad. Reno brushed past her to inspect it, and after a moment's inspection, he ripped off the cover panel and began fiddling with the wires behind it. 

Cait Sith scampered over to Aeris, and she bent down to pick him up, straightening to watch Reno work. Nanaki padded over to the Turk, hoping to give him better light, and the redhead muttered what must have been a 'thanks.' 

Abruptly the door slid open to reveal a lighted hallway, and the group was momentarily blinded. Nanaki recovered first and padded out into the corridor, looking around. The hall was featureless, and they moved on, their eyes flitting about and their steps cautious. 

After some exploring they happened across a side hall with closed metal doors on either side, each fitted with an electronic lock. 

"Do you think this is where their cells are?" Aeris whispered. 

"Dunno," Reno replied. One of the doors was open, and he strode to it swiftly and silently. Peering inside, he said, "This is the kind of lock we had anyway." 

"Why is this one open?" Nanaki wondered. 

"The lock's been deactivated. Could've been by someone on the inside, but I'll be damned if I know how they did it." 

Aeris glanced around. "Well, assuming they are in these cells... Do you think you can get them out, Reno?" 

He nodded, reasoning, "It's probably easy enough to open 'em from the outside. They're only made to keep the prisoners inside from getting out, after all." He moved to inspect one nearby, stood a moment in contemplation, and then made a few deft motions. The door slid open, and he flashed Aeris a grin over his shoulder. "Piece of cake!" 

"Reno?" came Elena's voice from inside. She rushed to meet him in the doorway. "You got out!" She blinked as she noticed the others. "Did they help you?" 

Aeris shook her head. "We met him on our way in." 

Cid appeared behind Elena. "Aeris? The hell are you doing here?" 

"Rescuing you," she replied with a smile. 

The pilot shook his head helplessly. "You just love getting yourself into trouble, don't you?" 

"I guess I do," she admitted. "Reno, can you get the other locks?" 

"Sure thing." 

Within a short time, all the cells stood open; some were empty, but many contained their friends and comrades. Everyone gathered in the main hall, but they soon noticed that two were missing. 

"Where is Vincent?" Aeris wondered. "And Yuffie?" 

The others looked around, frowning, but came up with no answers. 

"Maybe they already got out," Reno suggested. 

She glanced at the cell that had already been open when they'd arrived. Maybe they had, she considered. She certainly hoped so. 

"Where are our weapons?" Cloud asked of no one in particular. 

"Dunno," Reno replied, and his hand made a slight move towards his waist, almost unconsciously. 

"Most likely it would take entirely too long to find them," Nanaki reasoned. "It would be best to regroup elsewhere." 

Aeris turned to him. "What about Sephiroth?" 

"Leave him," Cloud said with a frown. "We can't do anything for him in this shape. We're short two people, and he's obviously not in the same prison block." 

"Cloud's right," Tifa agreed. "We should just get back before someone finds out we've escaped..." She trailed off, an anxious expression coming to her face. 

"Great," Cid commented. "You just had to say it." 

Aeris turned to see what had attracted their stares. Minerva stood at the end of the hall. She strode toward them, a deadly grace in her slow steps, and stopped a few meters away. 

The others shifted uncertainly when she did not say anything. 

"Someone is going to have to fight her," Nanaki said finally, breaking the silence. 

"Exactly," Minerva confirmed. "I will wait while you choose one among you. If the rest reach the exit before the battle is over, I will let you go." 

Only a moment passed before Aeris handed Cait to Elena and stepped forward. "I'll fight." 

"But, Aeris," Reno began, "there's no way--" 

"I'm going to fight," she repeated firmly. 

"If you fight her you're going to lose!" he protested. 

The Cetra shook her head. "That doesn't matter, Reno. I'm the only one who can keep her busy long enough for the rest of you to get away." 

Cloud strode over to her, grasping her shoulder. "Aeris, you can't," he urged. "Let me fight her instead. You need to get away from here." 

Aeris held his gaze steadily. "Cloud, you've nothing to fight with, and even if you did, you don't know how to defeat her. This is my battle. I can win it, but you can't." 

"What do you mean you can win it?" he demanded. "Don't you know how powerful she is?" 

She smiled gently. "I don't think you understand. Maybe you'll figure it out later." 

"But--" 

"She is not a child, Cloud," Nanaki stated before the argument could continue. "Nor is she as powerless as you seem to think. Let her make her own choices; you cannot protect her from everything." 

Reluctantly, Cloud released her shoulder and turned to go. Most of the others followed him, equally hesitant and casting anxious glances back over their shoulders. 

Reno stayed behind, and the other Turks stood waiting for him. 

"Minerva?" he asked, his earnest tone earning him a questioning glance from Aeris. "Isn't there anything you can do?" 

"No." 

"Is there anything _I_ can do?" 

The silver-haired girl hesitated. "Give Aeris your nightstick." 

He blinked. "What?" 

"Your nightstick. It is a much more effective weapon." 

"I don't want it," Aeris said quickly. 

"But, Aeris, if--" 

"I said I don't want it," she repeated forcefully. "Are you going to go or what? Hanging around isn't going to accomplish anything." 

Reno opened his mouth to say more, but decided against it. He nodded in compliance, motioned for his friends to follow, and ran to catch up with Cloud's group. 

"It does not seem like you to be so commanding," Minerva commented once they had gone. 

Aeris turned back to her. "You hardly know me. My mother always told me I was too stubborn." 

"Hmph." 

"Well?" she prompted, her staff held ready at her side. "Aren't you going to attack me?" 

"I thought I would allow you the first move." 

"I don't plan on attacking you." 

"Then how do you expect to win?" 

"Some battles aren't won on the actual battlefield." 

Minerva studied her guardedly. "You have no wish to hurt me, do you? Even though I injured and imprisoned your friends?" 

"They're all right now," she replied, "and I know you didn't want to do that. Why should I wish harm on you?" 

"Is this why Sephiroth thinks so highly of you?" 

She blinked in surprise. "What do you mean?" 

"He seems to think you divine. Or, at least, he thought so when last I spoke with him. I think she is breaking him." 

"'She'?" 

Minerva shook her head. "You will see for yourself soon enough. Are you certain you do not want the first move in this fight?" 

"I'm sure." 

The girl nodded and, not wasting another moment, sprang towards Aeris, drawing a pair of knives from nowhere and slashing at her. Aeris was prepared, however, and the knives only clashed with her shield, sparking. 

Minerva smiled appreciatively. "You've learned a thing or two." 

"I am a Cetra," she replied. 

"But it seems you have only just found out. I thought you would have known yourself better." She punctuated this reproach with a downwards swipe of one knife, its edge enhanced with a crackling energy. 

The shield wavered, but Aeris reinforced it, and it held. 

"Stop hiding in there," Minerva spat. A swipe of her hand sent a blast of energy that shattered Aeris's wall, and both of the knives followed immediately after. 

The Cetra knocked one aside with her staff, but the other flashed along the side of her head, cutting her cheek and clipping a few locks of hair. She did not have time to put up another shield before Minerva threw her next three knives. Aeris dropped to the floor, heard them fly past over her head, then rolled to one side as she got to her feet. 

Minerva's hand was outstretched, eyes focused on something behind her. The Cetra whirled around, only to duck again as the five blades flew back to their owner. 

"Sometime you will have to do something besides defend yourself, Cetra." 

Aeris straightened. "I don't want to." 

The girl took her time in replacing all but one of her knives. "Oh, but I want you to. If you managed to kill me, I would be out of your way. Talya, too, considering Sephiroth can take care of himself if he has his powers. So why hold back if you have a chance at wiping me out?" 

"I've never killed anyone, and I'm certainly not about to start with someone so blameless as you." 

"Blameless?" Minerva echoed, as though she had never heard anything so ridiculous. "Perhaps I am not so bloody as Sephiroth, but you do not know me either." 

"I still don't want to kill you." 

"It won't be permanent, you know," the girl went on. "Such is our curse, mine and Sephiroth's." 

Aeris shook her head firmly. "I can't." 

"Hm." 

"If you don't want to fight me, then don't," she urged, sensing that that was the reason for these delays. 

"It is not that simple." She raised her hand in warning, Aeris raised her defenses, and then the hand lowered sharply. A blast of energy shattered anything the Cetra had managed to throw up and slammed her against the far wall. 

"Fight back. I am not playing anymore."

* * *

Reno nearly bumped into Cid, who brought up the rear of Cloud's group, when he caught up to them. He slowed to match their pace, but Elena shoved past him and made her way to the front to give Cait Sith back to Reeve. Cid cursed as she pushed past him again to rejoin Reno and Rude. 

"Does Reeve know the way out?" she whispered to him. 

"Well, obviously he knew the way in," he said, rolling his eyes. 

"How should I know he was the one who led you guys in?" she retorted fiercely. Cid glanced at them over his shoulder, and they fell silent for a time. 

"I hope Aeris is all right," Reno said at length. 

"Me, too." 

Cid snorted. "I'll bet that's the first time you two've ever agreed on something." 

Elena seemed to take it as an insult, but Reno laughed, "I'm not taking that bet." 

Eventually, their hurried pace came to a halt. 

"What is it?" Elena asked. 

"We probably got to Minerva's wall," Reno figured. 

"Great. How are we supposed to dispel it without any magic?" 

"I dunno," he said. _Minerva, if you can hear me, help us out here._

Someone near the front let out a startled yelp and stumbled forward. Reno blinked and looked around uncertainly. 

"Don't look at me," Elena told him. 

Reno shrugged in response and followed the others out of the passage and onto what remained of the bridge. Cait Sith struggled back onto his moogle, and they all turned to Cloud as he spoke. 

"Problem number two. Anyone got any ideas?" 

"Isn't it obvious?" Reno asked. When the others looked at him as though he were crazy, he gestured to where the wall had been moments ago. "Why do you think it just opened up for us?" 

Cloud shook his head incredulously. "What? You think we can just walk across?" 

"Well, yeah." 

"Okay," he said, folding his arms, "but I'm sure as hell not going first." 

There were scattered murmurs of agreement, and the redhead glared around at everyone before walking to the edge. 

"Reno, you are _insane_," Elena hissed. 

He flashed her a winning grin and lifted a foot. _Gods, I'd better not be wrong about this. Here goes..._ He stepped down onto... well, nothing. Blinking in surprise--he hadn't really believed himself in the first place--he took another step to make sure, and then he really was standing on nothing. His face split into a wide grin as he turned around. "See?" 

Elena was the first to break the shocked silence and walk over to him. "I hate it when you're right," she muttered. 

He sent her stumbling ahead of him with a slap on the butt, and when she turned to glare at him, he only grinned amicably. If they'd been on less precarious footing, she probably would've decked him, but as it was, even she wouldn't want to send him falling to his death. 

Rude joined him soon after, and then Nanaki, and the four of them started across the abyss, feeling their way across with halting steps. One by one, the others fell into step behind them, and they crossed the nothingness together. 

They all breathed a sigh of relief when they set foot on solid ground again. Cloud took the lead and headed out of the reactor, the others following. Reno started after them, but paused to peer back into the blackness. 

_...thanks._

A thin crescent hung in the black expanse of sky, surrounded by a veil of glittering stars. Any other night, he would have called it beautiful, but tonight, with Aeris and Minerva left behind in the lab, he felt reluctant to call anything beautiful. 

They made their way back out of Midgar and headed for the Highwind. Once on board, they assembled on the bridge, and, as always, everyone looked to Cloud for leadership. Reno frowned. 

"Things don't look so good," Cloud sighed. "We've lost two people, and all our weapons and materia. By now, Aeris's been captured, and for all that, we haven't accomplished anything." 

"In other words, we blew it," Reno summed up. 

"Yeah," Cloud agreed grudgingly. 

"Cloud," Tifa said, catching some look in his eye, "you can't go back for her now." 

The blond looked at her with a protest on his tongue. 

"Tifa's right," Reno said before he could get a word out. "One, most of us've got nothing to fight with, and we'd lose to Minerva that much quicker. Two, we could all use some rest. And three, there's a chance, however slim, that Aeris beat Minerva and is on her way back out." 

Cloud seemed reluctant to agree. "Right," he sighed. "I guess we rest up tonight and figure out what to do tomorrow." 

The others nodded, and most of them left to claim sleeping quarters. 

Reeve waited until Cloud had gone before walking over to Reno. "I hate to say it, but I think you'd make a better leader than Cloud." 

"Gee, thanks." 

"No, I mean it. With Aeris involved, he can't think straight. He's too emotionally involved." 

The Turk looked at him sharply. "And I'm not?" 

"Reno, Cloud's in love with Aeris. You're just her friend, I hope. There's a difference." 

He nodded grudgingly and looked out the front window at the night sky. "I sure hope she knows what she's doing." 

Hesitantly, Nanaki bumped his head against Reno's leg. "Aeris has the Planet to guide her. I am sure she will be fine." 

"You'd better be right," he muttered, turning to follow the rest of the group out. 

He found an empty room, albeit tiny, and flopped down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. After a moment, he pulled his nightstick out of his waistband and fingered it speculatively. Why had she left this with him? Why had she told him to give it to Aeris? Was there some secret here to helping her? 

Reno wasn't sure what to make of the special treatment. She'd put _him_ in that cell and told him how to escape. She'd apologized to him, not the others, and it had been his silent plea to which she'd responded during their escape. And then, she'd left him his nightstick. Was she trusting him to do something? Or, he wondered, grinning a little in spite of himself, did it mean that she liked him? 

With that thought, he drifted off into sleep and dreamt pleasantly of a girl with silver hair.

* * *

Author's Notes  
In the original, Aeris stopped by her church on the way to the reactor and had a short conversation with Marlene, who was taking care of her flowers. Considering how worried she is about Sephiroth, though, it doesn't make sense for her to stop by there. Therefore, I cut the scene and moved some of the description to a much later chapter where she shows Sephiroth her church. 


	22. Pulling Back from the Abyss

**Chapter 21: Pulling Back from the Abyss**

"What is it, Vinny?" Yuffie asked, trying to peer around him. 

"Someone is coming," he answered softly, quickly moving from their cell out into the hallway, eyes scanning for a place to hide. There was none in sight; in one direction, the hallway dead-ended, in the other, it met a wider hall. Vincent felt sure that it was Talya; Minerva would not have made a sound. He glanced back at Yuffie, and she met his gaze, her grey eyes anxious. 

"Shouldn't we run?" 

"Where to?" 

The ninja frowned and looked around. "Good question." 

As he had expected, Talya strode around the bend, halting when she caught sight of them. "Huh," she said. "Should've known you'd get out." 

Yuffie looked at Vincent questioningly. 

"Talya," he identified for her, keeping a wary eye on his former colleague. "Do you intend to fight us?" 

She tapped a finger against her lip, some nervousness entering her usually cool manner. "You guys want to free Seph, right?" 

"Yes." 

"Then hurry up and get out of here, before Hojo notices your door's open and sends Min to check it out." She grinned hesitantly and explained, "Hojo's got nothin' on me without her around. As long as he never finds out I let you go..." 

"Understood." Vincent motioned to Yuffie. "Let's go." 

The girl hesitated. "Um... yeah." 

He strode swiftly past Talya and started down the main hall, hearing Yuffie's soft footsteps behind him. 

Once they were beyond Talya's hearing range, she quickened her pace to walk beside him and whispered sharply, "What about the others?" 

"We cannot go back for them now. They will have to take care of themselves." 

Yuffie glanced back over her shoulder. "I guess," she conceded. "Hey, do you know the way out of this place?" 

Vincent shook his head. "I was no more conscious than you when they brought us here." They came to an intersection of two hallways, and he paused, looking both ways, but both looked the same. 

"Eenie, meenie, minie, mo," Yuffie muttered, shaking her head. "Let's try that way," she decided, pointing to her right. 

"Any particular reason?" 

"Because I feel like turning right?" she offered. 

He shrugged, and they turned right down the corridor, listening carefully for footfalls and at the same time trying to silence their own. At length, after passing several more hallways, they came to a dead end--or, more precisely, a door reading 'Restricted Access' with a slot for a keycard beside it. Thinking he heard voices in the room beyond, Vincent pressed his ear up against it. 

"...and the outer door has been forced open," Hojo was saying. "I want you to investigate." 

"Yes, Professor," came Minerva's reply. 

Vincent quickly drew back from the door, gestured to Yuffie, and darted down the corridor and into one of the side passages, finding a door with no lock and ducking inside. 

Yuffie caught up to him a moment later and shut the door behind her, leaning against it. "You're too tall," she whispered reproachfully. Once she had caught her breath, she looked up at him quizzically. "What was that all about anyway?" 

"Hojo and Minerva were talking behind that door," he answered. "I believe they have discovered our escape. However... he said something about an 'outer door.' Perhaps someone else has gotten out as well." 

"Or Aeris lost her mind and came to rescue us." 

Vincent glanced down at her with a raised eyebrow. 

"That would be like her, wouldn't it?" 

"Perhaps," he considered, letting his gaze wander the room in which they had shut themselves. A table sat in the center, a stack of manilla folders atop it, and lining the walls were a number of filing cabinets. 

"Do you think she's passed us by now?" Yuffie wondered. 

"We should wait a moment to be certain." 

She nodded and hugged herself, shifting from foot to foot. "Why are labs always so cold?" she demanded of no one. She stopped abruptly and glanced up at him. "Hey, do you think Hojo would keep Sephiroth close to or far from his lab?" 

"Close, I should think," Vincent answered slowly. "He was never a patient man." 

"Then we should check the other hallways we passed on our way here." 

He nodded in agreement, but he had to wonder... If they freed Sephiroth, what then? Without his powers, he could lead them to the exit, but he would not be able to get them past Minerva's wall. Without the girl's aid, they were stuck in this place. 

"Vinny?" 

"Hmm?" 

"If we got out of our cell, why hasn't Sephiroth gotten outta his?" 

"Likely he could if he wished to." 

Yuffie looked incredulous. "What, you mean he _wants_ to be here?" 

Vincent shook his head. "He does not think highly of himself. It is possible he thinks he deserves this sort of punishment." 

"Gee, that sounds familiar." 

He cast her a sidelong glance, but did not reply. 

"Anyway, I think we can go now." 

He nodded in agreement, and they stepped back out into the hall, making a cursory inspection of its other rooms before moving on to check the myriad other passages. Eventually they came across a cell block similar to the one they had left behind. Only here, the locks were different, and one of the cells was missing a door. 

Yuffie pushed past him to inspect it. "Woah... somebody _pulled_ this door off. Do you think it was Sephiroth...?" 

Vincent strode over to join her, noting that the door lay warped on the tile just inside the cell. He knelt to inspect it. "No. There's a label: M-A05-C23." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

He straightened, shaking his head. "I believe this was Minerva's cell. Perhaps she attempted to escape and was recaptured." 

"Jeez... Minerva did _this_?" 

"I suppose. In any case, Sephiroth's cell must be..." He trailed off, looking over his shoulder. 

Yuffie's voice dropped to a whisper. "Is someone coming?" 

Vincent nodded and slipped inside the open cell, hoping no one would notice. The young ninja followed him, and they stood in a tense silence as the footsteps grew closer. A lock clicked, and the door to the room beside them opened. More footsteps followed, but the door did not shut behind whoever entered. He listened for voices, but heard nothing for several minutes. 

"Min, he isn't going to say anything no matter how long you stare at him," he heard Talya remark. "I mean, just look at him." 

Minerva murmured something in reply. 

"'Course not, compared to you two." 

"Then why, why are you free, while we must suffer and die here?" 

There was a pause, and Talya's voice grew subdued. "I'm not any more free than you are. You should know that by now." 

"Hmph." 

"Well. Min, you gonna go or not? The Professor's letting you out for a bit." 

Another pause followed, and the door finally shut. Vincent heard no footsteps; he could not tell if the girl stood waiting outside or if she had disappeared down the hall. For all he knew, she had sensed their presence and was approaching. When a minute passed and nothing happened, Vincent moved to the adjoining wall in attempt to make out any voices. 

"You should leave before I frighten you further," Sephiroth was saying, something cruel and broken in his voice. "But then, there is nothing more for you to do now, is there? Hojo can keep Minerva under control, and she can in turn keep me in check. No one needs you anymore. Or did Aeris manage to free anyone?" 

Vincent blinked. Had Yuffie guessed right? Had Aeris come? 

He only caught snatches of Talya's answer. "...got all her friends... Apparently... looking for you." 

Sephiroth's reply was low and contemptuous, and Talya's uneasy voice followed. 

"Surprise, surprise," the swordsman laughed in response. "This is who and what I really am." He added something else in a lower voice, and for a moment, he could make out nothing further of their conversation. 

"I just hope," Talya said, almost too softly for him to hear, "...real you back. If anyone can..." 

"Why so confident in her?" Sephiroth asked contemptuously. "She's only a Cetra." 

He said something more, and Talya answered, and then the door opened. "Besides," she went on, "she lasted half an hour at least." 

"What? Was Minerva playing with her?" 

"Nope. And I don't think Min knows how to block her powers either," she added, sounding confident. "Don't scare her too much; she's probably the only one who can get us all out of this mess." 

The door slid shut again, and the two waited for Talya's footsteps to fade away. 

"Did you hear what they said?" Yuffie whispered. 

"Some of it," Vincent answered. "It seems you were right about Aeris." 

"Oh, no. Did they capture her, too?" 

"Yes, but it seems she freed the others first. She may have been looking for Sephiroth when Minerva found her." 

"So... is she in there with Sephiroth now?" 

Vincent nodded. "But, I am worried about Sephiroth. He did not sound entirely sane..." 

Yuffie's eyes widened, and she took a step towards the doorway, saying urgently, "Then we'd better hurry and get them outta there before he hurts her, or worse, kills her again." 

"No," he said, putting a restraining hand on her arm. "If we intervene now, we will have to deal with a mentally-unbalanced Sephiroth. Aeris, I think, is the only one he'll listen to. She needs some time alone with him." 

The ninja eyed him critically, twisting free of his grasp. "So you're saying we should just _leave her in there_?" she asked in a fierce whisper. "With her murderer?" 

"I know Sephiroth better than you do," Vincent replied calmly. "He would not harm her now." 

"But he killed her before!" 

"And he's brought her back." 

Yuffie bit off a sound of frustration. "But you say he's not sane now. The last time he was insane, he killed her! I wouldn't put it past him to do it again." 

He caught her gaze and held it with his crimson one. "Aeris means something to him. He traded himself for her so that she would not have to come here, knowing that he would suffer in her stead. He is not about to change his mind about her so lightly." 

"Are you saying he _cares_ about her?" Yuffie asked incredulously. 

"Yes. I am." 

She shook her head. "That's not really very reassuring," she said. 

"Trust them." 

Yuffie sighed in defeat. "All right. So how long do we wait?" 

"An hour?" he suggested. 

The ninja hesitated, then agreed reluctantly. "Okay." She looked around, found the room empty of furniture, and sat down on the floor with her knees pulled up close against the cold. She motioned for him to join her, but he only moved away from the adjoining wall so as not to eavesdrop. 

"So what're we gonna do while we wait?" she asked after several minutes had passed. 

He glanced at her. "Think." 

Yuffie shook her head. "Man, don't you ever get tired of that?" 

He shook his head. 

She shifted uneasily. "Well, waiting here when Minerva could find us any second is making me nervous. An hour's gonna seem like forever." 

Vincent only shrugged, and Yuffie fell silent. He kept his ears trained for footsteps and his eyes on the wall. _Soon, Lucrecia_, he thought, _soon, I will bring your son back to you, just as I promised._

* * *

His head shot up. Footsteps. A click. The door slid open, and Minerva stepped through, Aeris in her arms. The Cetra was unconscious, bleeding, her head tilted back to expose her neck, her hair tumbling down, threatening to touch the floor, her eyes closed and lashes casting tiny shadows on her face, slightly pained. She looked beautiful like that. 

Sephiroth barely noticed Talya enter a few steps behind. He watched from his corner, motionless save for his emerald eyes. Minerva placed Aeris's limp form on the bed and turned to him. She struggled to keep her face blank, but she could hide nothing from him; he could see the ambivalence flickering in her blue-green eyes. She glanced at Talya. 

_She won't let me heal her_, she said. 

_Do it anyway. You know I can't. _

I know, I know... but... 

His eyes flicked back to Aeris and a smirk twitched at his lips. _Of course, if you leave her, I can watch her bleed._

Minerva had gained control over her expression, and her thoughts were calm. _What has she done to you? _

The same thing that she's been doing to you for years. I told you I wasn't strong enough. 

Talya had been watching him with concern, but as soon as he looked at her directly, her stance became impatient. "Min, he isn't going to say anything no matter how long you stare at him. I mean, just look at him." 

Minerva turned to her, saying coldly, "You know nothing." 

The ex-Turk shrugged casually. "'Course not, compared to you two." What a weak way of dealing with the truth, Sephiroth thought with a sneer. Don't take it seriously, and it won't hurt you. 

"Then why," Minerva demanded, "why are you free, while we must suffer and die here?" 

Talya's gaze dropped. "I'm not any more free than you are. You should know that by now." 

"Hmph." 

But Talya never stayed down for long, even if she had to pretend. "Well," she said, lifting her head, that grin on her face. "Min, you gonna go or not? The Professor's letting you out for a bit." 

The girl nodded and strode silently past her. The door slid shut behind her, leaving Talya alone with Sephiroth. 

"...are you gonna be all right?" she asked after a moment of silence. 

"You mean," he translated with a smirk, "will I be able to leave her alone?" 

"Well, yeah." 

He looked over at the Cetra appraisingly. "The same rule applies to her as applies to you. I have nothing sharp." 

"Okay," Talya said uneasily. "That's more or less comforting." 

"Meaning it disturbs you." 

"Yeah..." 

"You should leave before I frighten you further. But then, there is nothing more for you to do now, is there? Hojo can keep Minerva under control, and she can in turn keep me in check. No one needs you anymore. Or did Aeris manage to free anyone?" 

She hesitated. "She got all of her friends out before Minerva found her. Apparently she was looking for you." 

"Hmph." He glanced again at the unconscious Cetra. "She is such a fool. She has found me now, I suppose." 

Talya met his gaze searchingly. "You used to care so much about her... What's happened to you?" 

"Surprise, surprise, this is who and what I really am." He sat up and leaned across his knees, smiling coldly. "Frightening, isn't it?" 

She looked away, her gaze settling on Aeris. "This isn't you." 

"Isn't it?" 

"No, it's not. I just hope... that she can bring the real you back. If anyone can, it's her." 

"Why so confident in her? She's only a Cetra," he sneered. "Minerva beat her--easily, too, I'll bet. How long did she last? Half a minute?" 

"Don't be so cruel. You know as well as I do that fighting isn't her specialty." Talya opened the door and added over her shoulder, "Besides, she lasted half an hour at least." 

"What? Was Minerva playing with her?" 

"Nope. And I don't think Min knows how to block her powers either," she went on with a strange optimism. "Don't scare her too much; she's probably the only one who can get us all out of this mess." 

Sephiroth looked at Aeris again, this time with uncertainty in his gaze. Had she found her true strength? he wondered. No. If she had, Minerva would not have beaten her so easily. Glancing back at the door, he found Talya gone. He did not blame her for leaving. 

Climbing to his feet, he walked slowly, almost cautiously, to sit beside Aeris on the bed. She looked so innocent, he thought, so beautiful. He reached out a hand to touch a rather bad scratch on her face. She winced slightly, and he withdrew the hand. He hoped that the wound would not leave a scar. He wished he could heal it. A part of him wanted to try it anyway, but he knew he could not, and so he sat back to wait for her eyes to open. She could heal herself when she awoke. 

His eyes slid over her body to take in the rest of her wounds. What if she couldn't? 

_What, you still want to try?_ Jenova scoffed. _Minerva's sealed away all your power. You can't possibly-- _

Shut up. I'll do what I want. Of course, she was right, but he did not want to agree with her, ever, even if she was right. 

_You're a fool_, she spat as his hand moved towards Aeris's face. 

_Foolish, or insane?_ he wondered, not certain of the answer himself. _Besides, would it not please you to see me fail at helping her?_

Jenova mulled this over for a moment. _Fine. Go ahead and make yourself useless._

Sephiroth set his hand against Aeris's face, more firmly this time, and ignored her grimace. He willed her wounds to heal, having difficulty even recalling how to heal but willing it anyway. Just once in this cell, he wanted to prove Jenova wrong. He knew that this would not work, but-- 

His eyes widened, the green in them vanishing. Was it actually...? He jerked his hand away and stared at Aeris. A moment passed before he wiped the blood from her face with trembling fingers. There was no trace of the scratch that had been there before. He sat perfectly still, as though afraid to move, his hand hovering over the Cetra's face. 

_What... was that?_ Jenova asked, just as stunned as he. 

_I don't know. My power... is still sealed off... isn't it? _

It is. I can tell. 

Then how did I-- 

Aeris's eyes fluttered open, and he gave a start, practically leaping from the bed, the green back in his wide eyes.

* * *

Aeris pushed herself up on one elbow, her eyes downcast as she made a mental inspection of her wounds, only to find that she could not feel any of them. She sat up and looked herself over, finding only drying blood where the cuts and gashes had been. Had someone healed her? She blinked, sensing that someone was watching her. 

Sephiroth stood several paces back from the bed, staring at her. He looked oddly afraid; she had never seen him frightened before. 

"Sephiroth," she said, managing a wavering smile, "what's wrong? I didn't wake up that suddenly, did I?" 

He shook his head slowly. "I... I shouldn't have been able to..." Taking another step back, he shook his head more vigorously. 

"Able to what?" she asked in confusion. What had happened to _him_? 

"Heal you." 

She looked down at herself momentarily. "Oh... you did this? Maybe Minerva let you--?" 

"She didn't," he cut in quickly. 

Aeris faltered. "Well, however you did it, thank you." 

"Don't. I only did it to spite her." 

"'Her'?" 

Sephiroth had calmed by now, though there remained something feral in his cool blue-green gaze. "Jenova." 

Her eyes widened, and she pushed herself to the edge of the bed. "You mean she's talking to you again?" 

"Yes," he answered, almost casually. 

Aeris got to her feet and took a few steps towards him, stopping only when she noticed him backing up to the wall to keep the distance between them. "Are you all right?" 

He averted his gaze and did not answer. 

"Are you?" she prompted anxiously. 

"Do you really care, or do you just want to comfort yourself?" he queried sharply. 

She blinked, taken aback. "Of course I care..." 

Sephiroth laughed abruptly, as though at a joke audible only to him. "Good point. She would say the same whether or not she meant it. How am I to know it's the truth?" 

Aeris studied him with open concern. "What has Jenova been telling you?" 

"Many things," he answered guardedly. "I do not want to believe them, but sometimes... they make too much sense." He looked back at her, his gaze piercing. "She said that I did not know you. That is true enough, isn't it? We've barely spoken, and then never at great lengths. How could I possibly know your true intentions?" 

"But I just want to--" 

"There you go again, trying to seem simple and innocent. It sounds very convincing, but it could easily be a lie. You've had to learn how to lie, haven't you? To conceal what you are." 

She was at a loss. How could she convince him she meant it when he scarcely let her speak? "What's happened to you?" 

Sephiroth looked at her directly and said softly, a tremor in his voice, "I remember now... I remember _everything_..." 

"That couldn't change you this much, could it?" 

"Oh, it could," he replied, laughing bitterly. "It brought me back to what I was, what I truly am." 

Aeris dared to ask, "And what is that?" 

"A murderer," he said darkly. "A killer." 

"You're not--" 

"I killed you!" he cut in, his voice nearly a shout. "I killed you and I loved it! I enjoyed it! I am a murderer, a freak, I loved it! The way the blade went clean through you, the blood, the _power_, the blood, the blood..." He stared at her, his eyes a frightening shade of green even deeper and brighter than her own as he studied her. 

Aeris stepped backwards in spite of herself, fearful of the madness in those eyes, and sat down awkwardly when she bumped into the edge of the bed behind her. 

"You would look even more beautiful... covered in crimson..." He slid down the wall until he found the floor and stared at his hands as though he had never seen them before. 

"Sephiroth...?" she called hesitantly, trying to calm her pounding heart. She could not let him know that she was afraid; that would not help anything. Only, what could she possibly say to him now? 

"Do not call me that," he snapped, looking up at her sharply. 

"Then what am I supposed to call you?" she asked helplessly. 

"Nothing," he replied, his voice surprisingly level. "I am not worthy of a name. Do not speak to me. Do not attempt to console me. I know you don't care anyway." 

"But I _do_ care," Aeris said forcefully. She could feel his bitterness like a wound in her heart, and the look in his eyes was some steps past resignation. There was no hope there, and she did not know how to give it to him. 

"No, you don't," he insisted. "Probably the only that keeps you from enjoying the sight of me like this is your desire to keep up your pretense. Do you want to trick me? To give me hope and beat it out of me yourself? Would you enjoy that even more? Surely you must want some kind of revenge for my killing you." 

"Wha--_revenge_?" she repeated as though struck. "How can you even suggest that?" 

"It is human nature, is it not? Surely that applies to the ancestors of the humans as well. I know it applies to me. Everything I did five years ago was for my own enjoyment." 

"I can't believe that," she managed. 

"Believe it, Cetra, for it is true," he snapped, his eyes narrowing. "I won't pretend to be pure so that you feel safer in my presence. If I had my Masamune, I would kill you now." 

"Then why did you bother healing me?" 

"To prove Jenova wrong. She said I couldn't." 

"Why did you suggest it in the first place? Surely you had a reason for that." She was desperate for something to hold on to, some known ground. He was like a stranger to her now, as he had been five years ago. But this was not him, she was sure of it! 

Sephiroth considered this for a moment. "I don't know. It was nothing more than a whim." A snarl came to his features. "Oh, shut up, I am sick of carrying on two conversations at once." 

Aeris hesitated, hoping that he had been talking to Jenova. "I don't think it was," she said awkwardly. "You're hiding something." 

He turned his harsh gaze on her, and for a moment she thought she had been mistaken. "Why should it matter anyway?" he demanded. 

"I can't help you without your cooperation; you need to help yourself a little, too." 

"Why would I want to?" 

She nearly burst into tears. "Do you really hate yourself that much?" 

"Murderers are to be hated, are they not?" 

"But you're not a murderer!" she cried in her frustration. 

This seemed to tickle his fancy, and he laughed. "Oh, yes, my body just picked up the Masamune and killed those people on its own. _I_ had nothing to do with it." 

"Jenova misled you. You wouldn't have, had you been free of her influence." 

His amusement soon faded. "You say this as though you know for certain. I was not so weak, back then. I had made up my mind to slaughter them even before Jenova spoke to me. She simply used my anger to her own advantage." 

"If you enjoyed it so much, why haven't you tried to get out of here and kill more people?" 

Sephiroth lowered his head. "I may have enjoyed the slaughter, but I do not condone it." 

"How can you enjoy and despise something at the same time?" 

"I do not think it right to kill, yet I wish to do it anyway. Haven't you ever had the feeling?" 

Aeris shook her head helplessly. 

"Hmm. Of course you haven't... Maybe you truly are who you claim to be..." He glanced up at her from hooded eyes. "I wish I could stop thinking of ways to kill you, but I cannot. They enter my mind no matter what I do, and I cannot but find them amusing." 

She carefully got to her feet and took a few steps towards him. "You know right and wrong, and you _want_ to be right, even if you can't. Isn't that enough to start from?" 

Sephiroth lifted his head cautiously. "What do you mean?" 

His expression gave her some confidence, and she strode over to kneel down before him. "You didn't always think that way; I know you didn't. I could try to bring you back to that, if you'll let me." 

"I doubt you could," he scoffed. "You cannot make me forget it all." 

"I shouldn't need to." 

He regarded her skeptically. "I don't see how I could be free of it otherwise." 

"You just have to accept that you don't have to be that way anymore. You can be whatever you want to be." 

"No, I can't," he snorted. "I am an experiment, created from an altered human embryo. Jenova is as much a part of me as either of my human parents, perhaps more so." He stared down at his gloved hands. "Perhaps I should call her 'Mother.'" 

"No," Aeris said urgently, sensing the danger in Sephiroth believing his own words and taking one of his hands. "Just because Hojo experimented with Jenova cells doesn't mean she's your mother. You're just as human as anyone else, more than me, if that counts for anything. You have your own purpose, not just what the Professor deems fit for you. You can do whatever you want to do to make yourself happy, just like the rest of us." 

Sephiroth looked down at her hand, then freed his own from her grasp and scoffed loudly. "Happy?" he echoed. "What is it like to be happy? I don't know. I've never known it, and I don't deserve to." 

"Sephiroth, listen to me," she pleaded. "It doesn't matter what you did in the past. You were lied to then, by everyone, by yourself. You reacted with vengeance because in the beginning, you truly believed you were right. It's in your nature to fight for good." 

"Then why didn't I?" he asked, sounding almost amused. 

"You made a mistake. A big one at that, but it was still a mistake, caused by all the lies that had accumulated as facts in your mind." 

"Then why, when I learned I was wrong, did I keep killing?" 

"I can't get into your head, Sephiroth," she told him. "You have to tell me that part." 

"Why should I?" he demanded. "You seem to be doing well enough on your own." 

"I think it'll help." 

"I never said I wanted your help." 

"You don't have to." 

Sephiroth stared at her as though seeing her for the first time. "...why do you insist on helping everyone at your own expense?" 

She smiled almost sheepishly. "It's in my nature, I guess. Cloud... would be so angry with what I'm doing now. 'It's too dangerous,' he'd say. 'Sephiroth was the one who killed you, remember?'" She shook her head, her smile rueful. 

"...you miss him, don't you?" 

Aeris nodded. "But, he's wrong. Cloud is so wrong about you. He lets his emotions cloud his judgment." 

"And you don't?" 

She looked up. "Hmm?" 

"Your concern for everything makes you do stupid things. You aid others with no regard for your own life. Why?" 

"Back to this again? Why do you have so much trouble understanding it? You've done it before." 

Sephiroth blinked. "I have?" 

"You traded yourself for me, only days ago. Why did you do such a thing? You could have saved yourself so much suffering." 

"Shut up," he whispered, shutting his eyes for a moment, his face half-hidden behind his knees. He said nothing else for so long she nearly risked prompting an answer, but at last he raised his head to look at her steadily. "I... I did it because I did not want them to take you away." 

"Why not?" 

He shifted uneasily, as though trying to shrink farther into his corner, and did not answer. 

"And why did you stay behind when you rescued me and my mother from the lab? You could've easily come with us, but you didn't." 

"I was trying to..." He stopped and tried a different approach. "I thought that if I stayed in the lab, then that would be good enough for Hojo, and he would not search for you." 

"Do you see now? You've made yourself suffer to save me twice when you didn't have to. You should understand what makes me do it." 

He studied her carefully. "...do you love everyone, Aeris?" 

Her heart skipped a beat. No, he couldn't mean that. She could easily say she loved her friends, couldn't she? "Mostly," she answered with a sheepish smile, hoping her hesitation hadn't given him the wrong impression. 

Sephiroth nodded slowly. "I see." He got to his feet, and she followed him a few steps behind as he walked to the center of the room. He stood there a moment, then turned to face her. She could not read his expression. "You wanted to know... why I did not stop killing when I found out the truth, didn't you?" 

"Yes." 

He did not hold her gaze as he answered. "Jenova was pushing me to continue. She told me that what I had learned was only a bunch of lies. And I, so eager to think that I was still right, believed her. I could not stand the thought that I had killed so many innocent people, so I told myself I hadn't and kept fighting." 

Her heart ached for him, but she knew not what to say. Hope flickered in his eyes as he continued, like a flame struggling to start from little kindling. 

"But when I killed you, I began to doubt it, and that doubt grew. In the end, I could not believe my own lies anymore. I gave up. Jenova had some control over me, but not enough." He looked down and went on quietly, "Had I chosen to fight, Cloud could not have killed me." 

"I can believe that..." 

He shook his head regretfully. "I may be powerful, but I am such a weakling when it comes to my mind. I could not accept that I was wrong, that I was a murderer." 

"You've accepted it now." 

"What good does that do?" he asked bitterly. "It does not change anything." 

"No, nothing can change the past," Aeris conceded, "but hating yourself won't change it either." 

"Then what am I supposed to do? Everyone hates me, and I still want to kill them. Hell, I would kill you even, could I make a pretty death of it." 

"I can't believe that for a second. You could do it now, easily I'm sure. I'm not very strong." 

Sephiroth ignored her words, his eyes shining with that emerald fire. "Tell me, Cetra, why do I have such a bloodlust? You know everything, so tell me that!" 

"I don't have all the answers," she replied softly. "I can only speak from experience, and I... I've never killed anyone." 

He held her gaze for a moment, and she nearly expected him to refute everything she had said thus far, but he shook his head and said, "No, of course you wouldn't have. Not you." 

"Sephiroth," Aeris began hesitantly, "can you... tell me how it feels? Then maybe I can figure out why you seem to like it." 

"It is better for you not to know," he said quickly. 

"But I want to help you. I can't if you don't tell me anything." 

"You do not need to help me. You do not need to know." 

She frowned. "Don't spare me the detail. I'm not that pure, am I?" 

"Compared to me, yes, you are." He sighed and confessed, "But, that is not why I want to spare you from it." 

"Oh?" 

"I know you are already afraid of me. If I told you what it is like, you would fear me more." 

"I'm not afraid anymore," she said boldly. 

Sephiroth looked back at her, favoring her with a faint smile, as though she were a child. "Yes, you are," he stated. "You fear me because I cannot understand myself, because I killed you without reason, because I am a freak, an abomination." 

She could not deny that. Instead she told him, "You are whatever you choose to be." 

"Meaning? If I choose to be a freak, then that is what I shall become?" The idea seemed to amuse him, and he shook his head. "But how am I supposed to become human?" 

"Well, what do you consider human? Some of them can be quite cruel." 

"Not as cruel as me." 

"That's not true, and you know it." 

"Of course it's true," he scoffed, but he did not sound like he believed it. 

"Then why do you bother to listen to me? Why haven't you killed me yet? You know you can." 

"Aeris, I..." His face contorted into a snarl. "Shut up." 

The Cetra blinked and took an involuntary step back. 

Sephiroth noticed and frowned apologetically. "I am sorry... Jenova, she..." He shook his head and sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, staring at his feet. "None of it matters anyway. Even if I never kill another soul, I am yet incapable of caring for anyone. Is friendship not what so much of human life is based upon?" 

"What are you talking about, Sephiroth? You care for people." 

He glanced up at her uncertainly. "I killed you..." 

She moved to sit down beside him, holding his gaze. "You didn't answer me before. Why not kill me again?" 

"Don't make me answer that, please. I do not want to make you suffer." 

She saw that his eyes were blue before he dropped his gaze, and she could not help thinking of Cloud for a brief moment. "What makes you think the answer will hurt me?" 

"You do not need me in your life." 

"Why do you think I came here?" she asked gently. 

"Your friends, they... You wanted to save them." 

"Only them?" 

"Minerva as well?" he asked. He seemed to know what she meant, but could not fathom the possibility. 

"Yes, I suppose," she replied, smiling, "but I came for you, too. Why do you think I asked my friends to help in the first place?" 

"To get rid of Hojo," he answered without hesitation. 

Aeris shook her head. "That was never my priority. Getting you out of here always came first." 

He regarded her with a strange sort of half-smile. "How is it that you always know what to say?" 

"I don't know. Really, I don't; I just... try to understand how you feel, and sometimes I can guess from there." She hesitated. "Do you believe me now?" 

"Yes," Sephiroth answered in a whisper. "I've always believed you. I just... couldn't disprove my own assumptions so easily." 

"I hope I haven't sent your world spinning." 

He looked sure of himself for the first time since they had parted as children, and his eyes were still that beautiful shade of blue. _They're lighter than Cloud's though._ "Quite the contrary--I feel as though I've finally found my way again." 

"Are you going to get yourself out of here then?" 

He smiled slightly. "Not just myself, remember? You don't plan on staying, do you?" 

She laughed, shaking her head. "Of course not." 

Sephiroth's smile faded and he glanced down at his hands. "You will probably end up doing most of the work, though, as Minerva does not know how to block your powers." 

Aeris looked down at the bloodstains from where her wounds had been. "What about when you healed me? How do you explain that?" 

He shrugged. "A momentary lapse in Minerva's spell? How should I know?" 

"Somehow I don't think she would be that careless." Aeris regarded him critically, but came up with no answers. "Anyway, will you be all right when we get her out of here and you have your powers back again?" 

"...I think I can control myself, yes," he confirmed. "Although in truth, I might prefer having Minerva keep them locked away from me. I don't trust myself." 

"Do you still think you're a... a freak?" she asked uncertainly. 

He looked away. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to stop hating yourself, Aeris? To forgive yourself after you've done so many wrongs?" He sighed and looked back at her. "Yes, I do still think I am a freak. But there are things that I must set right; Jenova and Hojo still live, and once I am finally confident of myself, I should kill them. And then..." 

"Then what?" Aeris prompted, not liking what she heard in his tone. 

"I'm not yet certain. The proper thing to do would be to kill myself, thus ending the line of Jenova, but I've died twice before and..." He trailed off and shook his head helplessly. 

"Jenova herself may be a danger to the Planet, but that doesn't mean you are." 

"Have you asked it?" 

"No..." 

"Then do not attempt to give me any false hope. I can live without it. My only goal now is to keep myself sane long enough to complete my duties. I only wish... that Jenova would leave me in peace." 

Aeris frowned. "Is she talking to you now?" 

"Yes," he answered, and though his posture did not change, he seemed as though he were hiding. "She is cursing you for helping me. Of course, she does not put it that way." 

She put her arm around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." 

Sephiroth started, pulling away. "Aeris, what are you doing?" 

"It's called a hug," she replied. 

"It's... been so long since anyone bothered." 

She couldn't resist a laugh and tapped his shoulder armor. "Maybe this is your problem." 

"Uncomfortable?" he queried with a smile. 

"Very." 

"I don't suppose I need it..." 

Aeris's eyes widened. "You mean you'd actually take it off just so I could comfortably lay my head on your shoulder?" 

"It really does not inconvenience me." 

"If you insist," she said, lifting up her hands. 

Sephiroth unbuckled the shoulder guards and tossed them carelessly to the floor. He seemed much more... natural... without them. Maybe when they returned to Cosmo Canyon she could persuade him to buy some more casual attire. "Better?" he asked. 

Aeris snuggled up against him. _It wouldn't do me any harm to be held either_, she thought. "Much." 

He sat there tensely, apparently not knowing what to do; either that, or he was too unused to physical contact to be able to return it. "Thank you for everything," he said finally. "I needed someone to say something that made sense." 

"What about Minerva? She couldn't help you?" 

"No. She is too much like me, I think. Neither of us is any good at comforting anyone." 

"Poor things," she murmured into his chest. "Growing up in a place like this is no life at all." 

"She can still be saved. She would be able to manage quite well in your world with a little help, I think. Perhaps Katrina could help her..." 

Aeris glanced up at him. "How old is she?" 

"Seventeen." 

She nodded in agreement and moved a little closer. "You make it sound like you can't be saved." 

"Perhaps I can, but what difference would it make? Who would ever accept me save you?" 

"Many people, I'm sure. Some already do." 

He scoffed quietly. "Do you even know how unique you are?" 

She closed her eyes. "I try not to think about it. I'd rather not be." 

Sephiroth shifted uncomfortably. "In any case, we should be trying to escape before the others attempt to come back for you." 

Aeris sat up, smiling. "That's just like Cloud, always trying to be the hero." 

"He loves you, does he not?" the swordsman asked, sounding confused as to how any other reason could apply. 

She nodded and glanced at him. "You said before that you didn't know what it was like... but I'm beginning to wonder if that's really true." 

He met her gaze incredulously. "Me? Love? It is a ridiculous proposal." 

"I don't think so." 

Uncertain blue-green eyes glanced sideways at her. "...why not?" 

"Your actions and expressions say you've loved before." 

Sephiroth stood abruptly and walked to the door. "We shouldn't waste any more time talking," he said brusquely. "Help me with this." 

Aeris followed him to the door, looking up at him. She had one final question. "Have you ever asked anyone for help before, Sephiroth?" 

He had to think before he could answer. "I do not believe so." 

"Then I'm glad that, the first time you do, you'll get the help you need." She smiled and was pleasantly surprised when he returned the smile, tentatively. "You should smile more often," she told him before she bent to inspect the lock.

* * *

Author's Notes  
This particular Aeris/Sephiroth scene has to be one of my favorites. Writing Sephiroth as mentally unbalanced and quick to lash out is a lot more fun than a cool, collected Sephiroth. Although I don't feel he ought to be written that way without reason, because Sephiroth generally _is_ cool and collected. 

Anyway, in the original, Sephiroth _did_ try to explain to Aeris how it felt to kill, but I wanted to make him more guarded in this, less willing to share anything with her. 


	23. The Blood in Our Veins

**Chapter 22: The Blood in Our Veins**

They were both perfectly silent, Aeris in concentration, and Sephiroth because he did not want to break that concentration, so the sound on the other side of the door made both of them start.

Aeris caught his gaze. "What was that?" she whispered anxiously.

"I don't know..."

A few other deft clicks followed, and the door swung open.

"Yuffie? Vincent?" Aeris asked in astonishment.

"Yepper!" Yuffie confirmed, bounding to her feet. Vincent was already standing behind her, and the only greeting he offered was a slight nod.

Sephiroth and Aeris got to their feet, the Cetra stepping out of the cell immediately and looking up and down the hall. "Which way's out?" she asked.

Yuffie shrugged. "Dunno, really. Are you okay?"

"Hmm?"

"You've got blood on your face..."

Aeris lifted a hand to her cheek. "Oh, this? It's nothing; Sephiroth healed me."

"Sephiroth healed you?" Vincent asked softly, his eyes meeting the swordsman's. "I thought Minerva sealed his powers."

"We don't know how he did it either, but I guess that's not important right now."

He had lingered just inside the cell, as though not certain he ought to leave it, but now Sephiroth stepped out into the hallway, trying to ignore Yuffie's wary gaze. He pointed down the hall to the right. "The exit is that way."

Aeris glanced up at him. "That's right; they brought you here conscious... Well, lead on."

Nodding silently, he strode past them down the corridor. He heard the others following, and he kept his ears tuned for any approaching footsteps, but none came.

They reached the lab's exit without incident, and he stepped out into the reactor, hesitating here only a moment. He had paid little attention when Minerva had led him through this place, but now he called on that dim memory to guide him. He could not let Aeris down; he would get her out of this place, away from Hojo.

And then, perhaps armed with some weapon inferior to the Masamune, he would return to kill Hojo. He had been tempted to turn towards the lab and kill him as soon as they had gotten out of the cell, but he did not have his powers, and he did not want to involve the others.

"I can't see a thing," he heard Yuffie whisper as they entered the reactor's more narrow passageways.

"Here, take my hand then," Aeris whispered back, and after a moment, he felt her tentative hand on his back. Probably she could see no better than Yuffie.

Turning the corner, he nearly ran into Minerva. Aeris bumped into him from behind, and Yuffie stumbled into her.

Minerva stared at him for a long moment. "I have no orders to take you back if you make it this far," she said slowly.

"What about my powers?"

She looked away, frowning thoughtfully. "...nor do I have any orders to recast the spell if I should be rendered unconscious and lose it." She nodded to herself and looked back at him. "When I return to my cell, I believe I shall try sleeping as you suggested earlier." That said, she carefully slipped past them to go back to the lab.

"Can't you come with us?" Aeris called after her.

"No."

Sephiroth watched Minerva leave, then glanced at Aeris and started forward again.

"Why doesn't she sleep?" Yuffie asked.

"She does not need to," the swordsman replied, though the question did not seem directed towards him.

"Oh. Why'd you suggest it then?"

"Sleep brings dreams. Even nightmares would be better than what she has had to live with."

Aeris gave his shoulder a little squeeze, for some reason feeling the need to comfort him, but she said nothing. None of them spoke until they reached the wall at the end, where Aeris once again ran into him. She did not step back this time, but instead let go Yuffie's hand and reached around him to touch the wall.

"We're at the exit, aren't we?"

"Yes," he replied, tense and wishing she would draw back but not daring to ask it of her. He watched her face over his shoulder, seeing on it that same look of concentration. He sensed a change in Minerva's spell, he knew not how, and noticed one corner of the wall was bending inward, creating a little hole near the floor. Once it was wide enough to squeeze through, the four of them crawled through, and Aeris released her hold on the wall.

Vincent moved to stand at the edge of the abyss and glanced back at the Cetra. "I suppose you can do something about that as well." Something about his voice seemed distasteful, and Sephiroth recalled the winged creature he had used before.

Aeris nodded. She had not moved from Sephiroth's side, and now she felt for his hand and grasped it before she walked out to join Vincent. From there she led them across to the other side, and they stepped out of the reactor into the starlight. Aeris did not let go his hand, and for a long time she merely stood there, staring up at the night sky.

At length she sighed, flashed him a brief smile, and turned to her friends. "Well. I guess we should find the others."

"Likely they have returned to the Highwind," Vincent said.

"How did they get out, ya think?" Yuffie wondered.

Aeris shook her head. "They did it somehow, or they'd still be stuck at the wall. Maybe Minerva disobeyed her orders again."

"She only finds loopholes where she can," Sephiroth said. "She follows her actual orders to the letter."

"I suppose that's the best she can do." Aeris nodded to Vincent. "Can you lead the way to the Highwind?"

Vincent nodded, starting down away from the reactor and out of the rubble. Yuffie fell into step behind him with an uncertain glance at Sephiroth and Aeris. That pair trailed behind, Sephiroth looking down at their joined hands with a frown. What was she doing? Trying to comfort him with her touch? He nearly told himself that he did not need it, but he knew he did.

They reached the Highwind roughly an hour later and found that the rope ladder had not been pulled up.

"Looks like somebody was expecting us," Yuffie commented. She climbed up first, followed by Vincent. Aeris motioned for Sephiroth to go ahead of her and came up just behind. Yuffie and Vincent had already gone inside the ship, but Sephiroth lingered on the deck.

Aeris started for the door, assuming he had been waiting for her, but when he did not join her, she turned back in confusion. "Aren't you coming?"

He shook his head. "I... What will the rest of your friends think?"

"If you come in with me? They'll be suspicious, of course, but they'll have to accept it. Anyway, Cloud and Tifa are the only ones who really hate you."

"And the others don't? Why did they fight me?"

"Because they love the Planet," Aeris answered, smiling. "Now come on. I won't let them bite."

He nodded in reluctant agreement and followed her inside, remaining just inside the door. Cloud was already bounding up the steps to meet them, Yuffie trailing after.

Cloud embraced Aeris as he reached her, holding her close for a long moment before stepping back and scratching his head in embarrassment. He glanced behind him, down at a sleepy-looking Tifa who had just emerged from their sleeping quarters, then turned back to the Cetra.

"Are you all right?" he asked, eyeing her bloodied face.

She nodded. "I'm fine."

"How did you...?"

"They put me in the same cell as Sephiroth. Vincent and Yuffie found us and got the lock open."

Cloud blinked and looked past her at Sephiroth, noticing him for the first time. His eyes narrowed. "Why did you bring _him_ on board?"

"Where else is he supposed to go, Cloud?" Aeris asked quietly.

"Just leave him somewhere. We don't need him here, and he doesn't need our help anymore."

"Cloud..." she entreated.

He sighed, finally breaking Sephiroth's gaze and looking back at her. "Fine, he can stay, but I don't want to see any more of him than I have to."

Aeris let out a breath of relief and smiled hesitantly. "Thanks."

Cloud looked her over again. "Are you tired?" he asked. "I think we've got one more bed..."

She shook her head. "Give it to Yuffie. She looks more tired than I feel."

Farther down on the steps, Yuffie smiled gratefully, and Tifa led her away to her quarters.

"So where are you going to sleep?" Cloud wondered.

Aeris shrugged dismissively. "I'll figure something out."

"And... what about _him_?" he asked with a sharp nod at the swordsman.

"What do you mean?" the Cetra queried; he couldn't be asking about sleeping accommodations this time.

"What are we going to do with him?"

She shook her head. "If you're worried about him hurting anyone, you shouldn't be. He's done nothing wrong in this life."

"That's not very reassuring," Cloud deadpanned.

Aeris sighed. "I'll watch him for you if you like."

"Aeris, I can't leave you alone with him," he said sharply. "He killed you! Or have you forgotten that?"

"But you don't know what else he's done," she said softly. "He's helped me in so many ways... He brought me back. He traded himself for me. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"I can't ignore that it's _his_ fault you died."

"Cloud, I'll be fine. I held out against Minerva for quite some time, and Sephiroth doesn't even have access to his powers." She neglected to mention that he might soon have them back. "You've got no reason to be worried."

"But what if--"

"Cloud," she interrupted more firmly. "I can take care of myself."

He met her gaze and finally nodded.

"Now, you go back to sleep. I'm sure you need the rest."

Cloud hesitated, and then, casting Sephiroth one last glance, turned to return to his room.

Aeris turned back to Sephiroth, shaking her head helplessly. "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize. It is my fault that he hates me, not yours, and really, it is enough that he keeps that hatred in check."

"I guess so, but I'd rather he forgave you."

"He is hardly like you, Aeris, and I've done him many more wrongs than I have you."

She sighed. "Well, never mind all that. Why don't we go out to the deck? Is that all right with you?"

Sephiroth nodded. Indeed he would prefer that more isolated spot.

A smile at last returned to her face. "I'm glad. The stars are gorgeous tonight. Come on." She brushed past him and out to the deck, moving to stand at the railing.

Sephiroth followed slowly, keeping his distance from her and watching her almost warily. She really did look beautiful in the starlight, he thought, though whether the blood on her face detracted from or added to that beauty, he wasn't sure.

She seemed to notice his attention and put a hand to her cheek. "I should probably wash this blood off. Everyone seems worried when they see it."

Unable to reply, he forced himself to look up at the sky.

"What are you thinking about tonight?" she had to ask. "Will you tell me this time?"

He shook his head slightly. "There is nothing to tell; you already know."

"I do?" she asked, sounding amused.

He only nodded significantly in her direction, barely glancing at her.

"What? _Me_?"

"Why does that surprise you?" he wondered, looking back at her now. "You look beautiful in this light."

"I didn't think you noticed things like that," she said quietly.

"It's different with you."

Aeris met his gaze. "I know what you mean."

Sephiroth looked away, just a little too quickly. "What about you?" he asked. "What are you thinking about?"

"Well," she mused, touching her bloodied cheek again, "I'm trying to figure out why you were able to use magic when your powers should have been sealed."

"Have you come up with any answers?"

She folded her arms across the railing, looking out at the sky. "I've been wondering recently... Well, it was you who taught me to heal, wasn't it? And I learned the spell to revive Lucrecia from watching you."

"So?"

Aeris shook her head slowly. "Mom says that it doesn't make any difference where we get the energy for our spells, but I'm not so sure... I've never understood your other spells. I haven't even been able to see the weaves. But when you healed me, when I first woke, that... that was like my magic."

Sephiroth regarded her guardedly. "What are you getting at?"

"If we can use the same kind of magic, then maybe... maybe we're both..."

He saw what she was thinking, and he had to laugh. "I am no Cetra, Aeris."

She turned to him, her gaze piercing. "Do you have anything to prove you're not?"

Really he had no solid proof, but he shook his head. "I am nothing like you."

"Humans are the same species, and they vary greatly. Why should the Cetra be so different?"

He made no reply.

Turning from the railing, she faced him directly and took a step towards him. "You said Minerva doesn't know how to block the powers of a Cetra. Maybe you used that power when you healed me, rather than that of Jenova."

"Aeris... I can't be..."

"Why not? Give me one good reason."

He looked away, both hands firmly on the railing. "Do you have any idea how absurd that is? The Cetra _died_ because of Jenova's cells. I may have died twice now, but that was not because of the Jenova."

She took another step forward, forcing him to look at her by her proximity. "The Cetra were driven mad by Jenova, and they transformed into monsters. Does this sound familiar?"

Sephiroth released the railing and moved back, staring at her incredulously. "I... I'm..."

"...the same as me," she finished, and at that moment she looked more beautiful than ever.

He dropped his gaze. "Then why can I not hear the voice of the Planet and those in the Lifestream? And where did this Cetra blood come from?"

"With so many parasites on it, the Planet's voice has grown weak. It's hard to hear it unless someone teaches you." She shook her head sadly. "And, as for your heritage... Maybe your mother had it in her. I felt something strangely familiar in her aura, but I dismissed it as the Jenova. I think now I was wrong."

Sephiroth looked back at her searchingly, unable to believe. They _couldn't_ be the same. She was so... so divine, compared to him. "If you could sense it in my mother, why could you not sense it in me?"

"The Jenova in you must've hidden it. Her cells are much stronger in you."

"You truly believe that I am part Cetra," he said dubiously.

"Yes. I'm almost certain of it."

He sighed in defeat and turned back to the railing. "And what of Minerva?"

"I don't know. I couldn't sense anything beyond the Jenova, and I don't know who her parents are." She moved to stand beside him, her arms on the railing. "Did she say anything to you?"

"She calls Talya her mother, but I must say I doubt there is any biological relation."

Aeris nodded slightly. "She does seem too much like you and not at all like Talya."

"She is much stronger than I am," Sephiroth said, shaking his head. "And don't say that I have been through more than she because it is not true."

"I won't, but I do think that you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. It must be hard to live in a world where so many people hate you, even yourself... and with reason. I won't deny that."

"As long as you are here to keep me sane, Aeris, I think I can manage."

"Don't worry," she replied. "I'm not going to leave you alone again."

"Again?"

She smiled ruefully. "I should have insisted that you come with us then. Things would have been so very different..."

"What is this?" he asked in mock surprise. "You blame yourself, when you tell others not to?"

Aeris laughed. "I don't kill myself over it, Sephiroth. Life's too precious for that."

"Oh?"

Her smile faded, and she looked down. "That's why... I want you to really experience it, now that you have the freedom to, without cursing yourself or hiding or letting duty carry you away. Right now, I know you could use the support, but you can't depend on me forever."

"I understand," Sephiroth replied, though a part of him felt disappointed. Did she mean that she did not want to be with him much longer? She would never say it, but how _could_ she want to stay around him any longer than she had to?

"I'm glad," she said, looking up at him with a bright smile before turning her gaze back to the stars. He wondered how she managed to seem so convincing.

He looked away, looking not to the stars but down at the ruins of Midgar. "Are you tired?" he asked her dispassionately. "You should get some rest; your companions are not the type to wait."

"You're right," she agreed, not catching his tone. She stepped back from the railing and glanced towards the door with a frown. "Where, though?"

"The floor seems to be your only option," he observed.

"I suppose." Aeris turned to him, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Can I use you for a pillow?"

The proposal caught him off guard, and at first he felt he ought to refuse, but his mouth disobeyed him. "If you wish."

She bowed her head gratefully. "Thanks. I know you're not used to this sort of thing..."

He did not reply, but moved instead to sit down against the wall, a few feet from the door. Why had he agreed to this? he wondered, but he knew the answer. Despite his usual aversion to physical contact, there was something about hers that made him long for more, even though he could not manage to relax. His muscles would not soon forget what he had suffered.

She joined him, carefully settling herself close beside him and leaning into him. She did not seem to mind his tenseness. "Don't you ever take your gloves off?" she asked absently, almost sleepily.

"Not really."

"Hmm," was all she said. Soon she was fast asleep.

Sephiroth watched her for a long time, scarcely daring to breathe lest he disturb her. He nearly started, though, when he felt something return to him, a faint presence just around the corner. _Minerva must be asleep_, he realized, his eyes returning to Aeris. _She is certainly trusting_, he thought. _I only hope she is not wrong about me._

* * *

_She lay on a circular obsidian platform in a vast nowhere. Around her the sky was the color of blood, and angry black storm clouds approached from the distance, driven by the fierce wind that nearly pushed her off the pillar as she climbed to her feet. Looking down, nothing more than a black void greeted her eyes. _

_"What do you think you're doing?" There were no walls, but the voice echoed, bounced off of nothing, boomed around her like the rushing wind. It was unfamiliar and yet familiar at the same time; millions of voices comprised it--her own voice, the voices of her friends, the voices of people she had met briefly and never seen again--and yet she perceived it as the single voice of a complete stranger. _

_"Who are you?" she cried, and the wind threw her voice back into her face. _

Who are _you_?

_"Foolish little Cetra, you think you can win against me? You think you can steal him from me?" _

_She turned about on the pillar, searching for the speaker. "What are you talking about?" _

_"You know quite well what I mean. Don't bother feigning innocence; it may work with him, but I do not believe it." _

_"You mean... Sephiroth?" Aeris asked. Her eyes widened. "Jenova--" _

_"Oh, yes," the voice laughed. "Yes, yes, ignorant Cetra, traitor. But you will not win this time." _

_A strong gust and a shriek sent her flying backwards off the platform. She caught hold of the edge as she passed it and hung there with her heart pounding, struggling to pull herself back up. Somewhere in the wind were the cries of the Planet, cries that echoed in the caverns of her heart. _

_Sephiroth appeared on the top of the pillar, only she saw at once that it was not Sephiroth at all. He spoke with Jenova's voice, saw with Jenova's single pink eye, and looked upon her with Jenova's malevolent grin. "And now, dear Cetra, you will die." Crouching down, Sephiroth grasped Aeris's hands, held them for a moment, as if to help her up, and then let go, flinging Aeris far out into nothing. _

_She screamed as she saw what light there was slipping away from her and found herself falling into darkness. "Sephiroth, please!" _

_"Aeris!" he cried out in horror, all traces of Jenova vanishing from his face. He leapt from the pillar, somehow falling faster than she, as though the black were pulling him down. He reached for her hand as he fell, and she held it fast. Together they fell into the abyss. _

_She landed hard on another pillar much farther down, but Sephiroth missed it, and the blackness wrapped itself around him and tugged down hard. The force pulled Aeris to the edge with him, but here she pushed back against the stone, resisting the darkness' dragging and holding Sephiroth's hand as tightly as she could. _

_"Don't let go," she whispered. _

_Somehow he heard her over the roaring winds and the taunting shadows and the keening screams of the Planet, and he shook his head. "She is waiting for me there. I have to." _

_"If you go, you may never come back," she said urgently. _

_Sephiroth smiled, his eyes a pale blue. "Then lend me your strength, Aeris, that I may come back to you." _

_She opened her mouth to speak, but the words would not come. She stared down at him helplessly, watching his hand sliding out of hers as the darkness took him. The blue slipped from his eyes as his hand slipped from hers, and soon he was lost to the abyss. _

_The wind died down, the sky cleared, and the sun shone through, turning it a beautiful blue, blue like Sephiroth's eyes. The cries of the Planet died away, and instead a lone mockingbird sang sweetly. _

_Aeris sat on the roof of her church, a field of flowers stretching out before her into a white horizon. _

_"Aeris!" Cloud called from the ground. "It's time." _

_She looked over the edge and smiled at him. "I'm sorry, Cloud. I've decided to stay." _

_"You're staying?" _

_"Yes. I don't belong in your world; there's nothing for me there." _

_"But what is there here?" _

_"Memories." _

_"Memories aren't life," he said sharply. _

_Aeris sighed, breaking his gaze. "Yes, I know. But someday, I will find my own Promised Land. And I'm sad to say that it's not with you..." _

_"I guess this's goodbye then." _

_"Yes. Goodbye, Cloud. I'll miss you." _

_He left her alone, and she turned her face to the breeze, imploring it to tell her tales of a man with silver hair and how he died in battle. _

_"Aeris!" _

_She lifted her head eagerly at the sound of a familiar voice calling her name. _

_"Aeris..."_

* * *

"Aeris. Aeris, wake up." 

She opened her eyes sleepily and twisted to look at Sephiroth, who averted his gaze as soon as her eyes found his.

"I think some of your comrades are awake," he said. "I doubt they would appreciate seeing you in this position."

"You're right," she murmured, and with some reluctance she pulled away from his warmth, looking away and fussing with her hair. Once she had woken herself up a bit, she looked back at him. "Good morning."

"Did you sleep well?"

She hesitated. "Decently. And you?"

Sephiroth shrugged, standing swiftly and turning to the railing. "I did not sleep much."

Eyeing him curiously, Aeris climbed to her feet. "I guess you don't need to."

The door opened, and Aeris turned to see Cid standing there in indecision, his eyes flicking back and forth between her and Sephiroth. At last he grinned. "Guess we got somethin' done after all, huh?"

She smiled and nodded. "I guess we did."

Cid's grin faded, and he nodded to Sephiroth. "Is he...?"

"What, sane? Yes, of course."

"Heard you came back last night with 'im, and, uh... I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine."

He scratched his head. "Well, what're you waitin' out here for? Come on down to the bridge!"

Aeris hesitated, glancing at Sephiroth, but he still had his back turned to them. "All right," she said. "We're coming."

Cid seemed startled by her answer, but he turned to lead them both to the bridge without protest. Aeris hung back, waiting, and Sephiroth reluctantly came away from the railing to go with them. When they reached the bridge, he remained in the doorway, not wanting to be noticed.

Everyone else was already there, and smiles, hellos, and even a few hugs were in order. It wasn't until after everyone had confirmed that Aeris really was back safely that they noticed Sephiroth, and a heavy silence fell. Aeris followed their gazes and made a small, inviting gesture with her hand.

The swordsman took a few steps forward and stopped, surveying her friends' suspicious looks and glares with a small frown.

Aeris was just about to speak when Yuffie called out, "Hey, Sephiroth! Get your butt over here."

He stood stunned for a moment, but then amusement softened his face and he came to join them, still keeping back a few good paces. Tifa took a step back, Cloud's frown deepened, and the others watched him warily, but no one voiced any suspicions or aggressions.

"So, what now?" Yuffie asked. "We still need to take out Hojo, but..."

"We've lost our weapons and materia," Tifa finished, frowning.

"I can take care of Hojo," Sephiroth said quietly, but everyone looked at him uncertainly.

Yuffie shifted anxiously, as though not sure what to make of this. "You mean, you've got your powers back now?"

"Yes."

"Couldn't Minerva just block them again?" Elena asked.

The swordsman glanced at her. "I think I know how to prevent that now."

"Are you stronger than her?" Aeris asked.

"...I do not know," he admitted.

"Then I'm going with you."

"Aeris, you can't--" three voices began at once, and they stopped to look at each other in startlement. Cloud, Reno, Sephiroth.

Aeris smiled reassuringly. "All of you, I'll be fine. I'm not the weak little flower girl I used to be."

"Well," Reno began, grinning in concession, "maybe I can't keep you from going, but I can sure as hell go with."

Elena eyed him skeptically. "What're you gonna do, whack him with a stick or something?"

"Yeah, a _night_stick," he corrected, flourishing the weapon. "Minerva left it with me." He turned to Rude, adding confidingly, "I think she likes me."

His friend only shook his head.

"I will accompany you as well," Nanaki decided, padding over to sit at Aeris's feet.

"Is anyone else coming?" the Cetra asked, throwing Cloud an apologetic glance as he opened his mouth and then shut it in frustration. She knew he wanted to come with to protect her, but he no longer had anything to fight with.

"I shall come," Vincent said into the silence.

"And what do _you_ expect to fight with?" Elena asked him.

He merely looked at her and lifted his metal claw.

"Er, I guess that's pretty sharp," she reasoned nervously.

"I guess it's settled then," Aeris announced.

"Do you have a plan for this?" Cloud asked.

She shook her head. "Not really."

"I can take us directly to Hojo's lab," Sephiroth said. "Unless Minerva or Talya are there with him, we will not have to fight them."

"How exactly are you going to do that?" Cloud queried suspiciously.

"He's done it before," Aeris said. "That's how my mother and I escaped from the lab all those years ago."

The blond raised an eyebrow. "If he could do that, why didn't he get himself out?"

The Cetra glanced at Sephiroth uncertainly. "...personal reasons," was all she said.

Cloud snorted. "'Personal reasons'? Sephiroth has 'personal reasons'?"

"Cloud," Tifa said gently, putting a hand on his arm. "He's a person, too, no matter what he's done."

"This isn't about who I am or what I have done," Sephiroth stated flatly. "It is about killing Hojo."

"But how do we know we can trust you?"

"He hates Hojo far more than the rest of us," Aeris answered for him. "For him, this is revenge."

Cloud hesitated and then nodded grudgingly.

"I believe it is revenge for all of us, save Reno," Nanaki added quietly.

"Even Aeris?" Yuffie wondered incredulously.

The Cetra lowered her head. "Yes, even me. I spent the first seven years of my life in that lab, Yuffie, and my parents lost their lives to Hojo. You didn't know?" She shook her head and looked up. "But, before we kill anyone, I want answers." She glanced at Vincent, and he nodded in understanding.

"Well, is everyone ready?" Nanaki asked.

The other four who were going nodded or voiced their assent.

"Then let's get going," Aeris said, turning to Sephiroth. "Do we need to do anything? I don't remember."

"No," he replied.

"Good luck!" Yuffie exclaimed.

"And be careful," Cloud added.

Aeris smiled and then nodded to Sephiroth. The bridge of the Highwind fell away, leaving the five of them standing in nothing for a fragment of eternity. The Cetra thought she sensed something familiar here, but as soon as she turned to look aver her shoulder, the lab had surrounded them.

"I thought you'd be coming back presently."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Ah, the second of Aeris's nightmares. This one is much closer to how the story plays out; I think by this point I actually sort of knew where I was going with it. Sort of. :P There's a scene later, in chapter 32, that very closely mirrors part of the dream. 


	24. Trying to Stand Alone

**Chapter 23: Trying to Stand Alone**

The click of a lock awakened her, and Minerva opened her eyes ever-so-slightly to watch Talya enter the room. 

"You know, this is the first time you've ever touched that bed." 

The girl sat up and replied flatly, "It would be, considering I have never been in this cell before." 

"Actually, we moved it from your old cell," Talya informed her with a smirk. She stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips, but her voice sounded oddly cheerful. 

Minerva only scoffed in response and got to her feet, assuming that orders had come down. "What are you so happy about this morning?" 

The ex-Turk stretched and leaned against the door frame. "No prisoners," she said simply. "You didn't have anything to do with Sephiroth's escape, did you? You were out at the time." 

The girl raised an eyebrow. "How could I have helped them?" 

Talya hesitated. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter anyway, right?" 

Minerva did not reply. It was quite a thing for Talya to be satisfied with so vague an answer; usually, she settled only for definites and always reported it if Minerva disobeyed the Professor. Was it her soft spot for Sephiroth? she wondered. If Minerva had broken a rule, but helped Sephiroth in the process, perhaps Talya was willing to overlook that. 

"Anyway," Talya said awkwardly, "the Professor wants us." 

"Oh? I suppose he expects Sephiroth to just appear out of nowhere?" 

The ex-Turk stepped out into the hallway, and Minerva went with her. "I think that's the idea." 

"Alone?" 

"Dunno. Maybe, maybe not." 

"It would not be like him to bring Aeris back," Minerva remarked as they started down the hall. 

"No, but it might be like Aeris to insist on tagging along." 

Beyond a slight shake of her head, she did not respond. Sephiroth and Aeris alone would not be able to defeat them. She hoped that some of the others would accompany them, Reno perhaps. Of all of Aeris's friends, he had made the greatest impression upon her. Not once had he mistrusted her, and no one had been so kind to her since... There had not been a time before that. 

She stepped into the lab just behind Talya, closing the door behind her and immediately dropping her gaze. She rarely looked directly at the Professor; he seemed to find it an act of impudence. 

"It's about time," Hojo muttered. "He could be here any minute now, and the two of you thought you had time to waste?" 

"Sorry," Talya said, though she didn't mean it, and leaned against a wall while Minerva remained near the door to wait. 

They barely had to wait ten minutes before five figures flickered into existence just in front of them. Sephiroth was foremost among them, of course, with Aeris at his side, and behind them Reno, Vincent, and that red-furred creature whose name she did not know. 

"I thought you'd be coming back presently," the Professor said to them, his angry gaze on Sephiroth. 

"Of course," the swordsman replied, eyes emerald. "We have a few things to settle with you before we leave." 

Hojo scoffed loudly, and motioned to Talya and Minerva. "If you can get through these two first." 

Minerva moved from her position by the door, her presence startling Sephiroth's band. They had not noticed her behind them. Talya had gone to the opposite side of the lab, and so Sephiroth's group split into two: Vincent and Nanaki chose to fight Talya, while Sephiroth, Aeris, and Reno took their stand against Minerva. She thought this their best chance, and indeed found it strangely agreeable that she was to fight Reno. 

"Don't hold back," she said simply. 

Sephiroth merely smiled in response, and a sweep of his arm sent her slamming back into the wall. She recovered quickly and pushed off from it, throwing several of her knives back at him and at Aeris. Sephiroth grabbed the Cetra, pulling them both out of the path of the blades. 

Aeris did not appreciate the intervention. "Don't protect me," she said. "I can handle this." As if to prove her point, she retrieved one of the knives from the floor and threw it back at Minerva, tweaking the air to guide it. The girl sidestepped the blade and turned to grasp its hilt as it flew past. She then sprang towards Reno, the dagger radiating heat as she slashed at him. He dodged her attacks, and managed to graze her shoulder with his nightstick. 

Minerva jerked back, flinging the knife at him. Too close to avoid it, he raised his arm in defense and grunted as it buried itself in his forearm. She grasped his shoulder, planted her foot against him, and pulled the blade from him as she shoved him backwards. 

Aeris hurried to her friend's aid, while Sephiroth distracted Minerva by hurling spears of ice at her. She leapt out of the way, moving back and back again until she came to the wall, and there she flung up a barrier. Sephiroth followed her, augmenting his spells so much that her shield wavered and broke and two of the spears drove through her, pinning her against the wall. She did not cry out even as one pierced her abdomen. 

Surrounding herself with flames, she melted the ice, but she had no time to heal the wounds before the blade of the Masamune bore down upon her. She rolled to the side and pulled out a pair of her longest knives with which to deflect his blows. He was as skilled a swordsman as the stories said, perhaps more so, and she was astonished to discover that she could only just manage to keep the Masamune from her flesh. 

Sephiroth drew so much of her attention that she did not notice the bolt spell forming until it struck her. She staggered back, the pain in her head crackling to life. The Masamune found her left wrist, nearly severing her hand, and she fell back against the wall, dropping both her blades, and threw up the strongest barriers she could. The shield came just in time to block the next lightning spell, which she noticed Aeris had cast. 

Minerva healed herself as quickly as she could and released the shield. Immediately she had to dodge the Masamune, and she could only retrieve one of her knives as she leapt back. As she found her feet again, she flung the blade at Reno and cast her strongest fire spell in Aeris's direction. She ducked as the Masamune sang over her head, then shifted her weight to deliver a harsh kick to Sephiroth's side. He stumbled, and his blade disappeared, but he sent her flying back into the wall with another spell. 

She had to dodge another bolt spell from Aeris as soon as she recovered and just barely avoided Reno's nightstick. She knocked him aside and sent her own blast of energy outward. Reno slammed into the nearby wall with a stifled cry of pain, Aeris fell back hard into one of Hojo's control panels, and Sephiroth staggered back a ways before a second wave sent him flying into a Mako chamber. The glass shattered, and the Mako rushed out, drenching him as he fell onto the numerous shards. 

A hand grasped her leg and tugged hard. Minerva nearly fell, but instead she kicked Reno hard, loosening his grip, twined her fingers into his red hair, and yanked him up by it. She twisted his arm around, buried one of her knives in his shoulder, and then, spotting his nightstick lying nearby, flung him towards it. 

A bolt of electricity struck her from behind, and she cringed, pain lancing through her from the device in her head. She recovered and spun to face Sephiroth, readying her knives. He smiled, and the Masamune appeared in his hands. She darted forward to meet him, metal clashed with metal, and their blades danced between them. 

She sensed the bolt spell this time and broke away, leaping backwards. The lightning struck the floor where she had stood only a moment before. 

But she did not anticipate Reno's attack. His nightstick struck her along her spine, and her back arched away from it, but Reno grasped her shoulder and pulled her closer. One of her hands reached jerkily behind her, as though to grasp the weapon and wrench it from him, but she forced herself to let it drop. 

The pain coursed through her, as it had when she had attempted to escape from her cell. It was easier to bear, somehow, if someone else inflicted the pain on her. She could succumb to the pain, and she did, shutting her eyes and falling against Reno. She felt him stumble backwards, felt the floor beneath her; she was on her side, and the nightstick was still at her back, she thought. Pins and needles and knives and... 

Her consciousness was slipping from her. She struggled for a moment to keep it, but she knew it would be better if she did not. Because then they could leave her and move on to kill Hojo, and then... Then... 

Something inside her head seemed to crackle even more painfully, to spit and snap, and she nearly screamed. And then the darkness took her.

* * *

Reno switched off his nightstick and sat back, staring at Minerva's unconscious form. "Never thought I'd be the one to beat her," he muttered. 

Aeris came over to crouch down near him. "You didn't beat her. She gave up. Decided to fight Hojo instead." 

"I know..." 

She laid a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?" 

He only grunted in response, but after a moment he felt the warm sensation of healing pass through him, and Aeris smiled. 

"Thanks," he said. 

Aeris glanced up as Sephiroth approached, then got to her feet. "Gods, don't you look a mess." 

The swordsman shrugged; his eyes were on the battle raging on the other side of the lab. Reno followed his gaze. Vincent and Nanaki were both still up and moving, which he guessed was good, but Talya was nowhere to be seen. Rather, Vincent and Nanaki fought against some dark, bird-winged thing with fur the color of old blood. 

"What the hell?" Reno wondered. 

"Just as I thought," Sephiroth said softly. "Hojo has experimented on her as he did on Vincent." 

"Enough standing here," Aeris said. "Let's go help them!" 

Sephiroth nodded and led her into the battle. Reno watched them, then moved to follow when a hand grabbed hold of his wrist. He started and looked down as Minerva rolled over and pushed herself up with her other arm. 

"They don't need your help," she said, voice strained. 

"You don't stay out long, do you?" he asked uncertainly. 

She released him and sat back against the wall. "Nnh... No." 

Reno watched her cautiously, but she did not move save to turn her head to watch the battle as Aeris and Sephiroth joined it. With a shrug, he turned to watch with her. 

The winged creature had alighted on the ground and stood hunched against a wall. Vincent and Nanaki had withdrawn slightly, and Sephiroth was advancing with Masamune in hand. Aeris remained some distance away, and she cast an ice spell on the creature. It countered with a spell of its own that knocked her to the ground with some invisible force much different from Minerva's power. 

Nanaki bounded over to help her, and Sephiroth glanced back. Anger touched his face and he charged at the creature that had been Talya. It blocked with its long claws and slashed forward with its other arm. The two carried on for some time before they broke away, the winged thing cut in several places, while Sephiroth had only the wounds Minerva had given him. 

The creature pushed off the ground and into the air, leaving behind those on the ground. Sephiroth flung out his arm, but the thing dodged the blast easily; it was amazingly agile in the air, and the ceiling was high. 

"Why doesn't Vincent transform?" Reno asked of Minerva. "Chaos is good in the air, too, isn't it?" 

"Talya can control it. Vincent cannot. I do not think he wants to risk it, especially when Chaos has fought both you and Sephiroth before. It may not realize we are no longer enemies." 

"So... Hojo can't control you anymore?" 

She slowly lifted a hand to the back of her head. "You either damaged the device, or it has ceased to function entirely. I am not certain which..." 

"Oh. Hey, is that why you told me to give Aeris my nightstick?" 

"Yes." 

"Heh..." 

"Can you give it to me?" she asked. 

He blinked at her, then asked cautiously, "What for?" 

Minerva shook her head. "I am not going to hurt you. I can do that easily enough without your weapon." 

"That's not what I'm worried about," he said. 

"I do not see why you have a problem with my using it on myself. I need to see something... Besides, my recovery time is, as you have seen, quite short." 

Still he hesitated, and then a thought occurred to him. "Hey, where's Ho--" A blow to his head knocked him over sideways and sent black dots dancing in his vision. 

"What are you doing?" Hojo demanded. 

"Ignoring your orders," Minerva replied harshly. "What do you think I am doing?" 

Reno picked himself up, one hand to his head, the other on his nightstick. Hojo stood just out of reach, Minerva crouched against the wall before him. She looked tensed to bolt, and the redhead hesitated. 

"Get up," Hojo commanded. 

The girl did not move, and she did not look up at the Professor. 

He kicked her harshly; she did not flinch. "I said get up." 

"I heard you quite well." 

Frowning, Hojo pulled a small remote from his pocket and punched several of the buttons on it. Minerva cringed, shutting her eyes and bringing her hands to her head. 

"Now, are you going to hold out, or will you get up and fight as you're told?" 

Eyes narrowing, Reno lunged forward with his nightstick at its highest setting. 

Hojo kicked him aside with a strength he certainly did not appear to have and glared at him down his nose. "What do you think you're doing? You're _human_. You're a fool if you think you can harm me." 

Reno grunted and started to push himself up from the floor, reaching for his nightstick only to find that Hojo had knocked it from his hands. He located it lying on the floor just within Minerva's reach, and she had taken one hand from her head to take it. Hojo pressed another button, and she fell forward, her whole body contorted in pain, but not a single sound escaped her. She pushed herself up with one hand, grasped the nightstick before Hojo could kick it away, and swung it at him. 

Hojo hopped back, easily avoiding the blow, and scoffed, but harming him was not Minerva's aim. She glared up at him and slowly brought the end of the nightstick against her own neck. She nearly fell forward again, but her right hand was still braced against the floor. 

"Minerva!" Reno cried out. 

"What are you doing?" Hojo demanded of her. 

Minerva shuddered from the pain, and the electricity raced through her, but somehow she still managed to hold his gaze, her eyes glowing emerald. "I... won't..." she forced out through clenched teeth, and then her mouth opened in a soundless scream, and she collapsed at Hojo's feet, her left hand still tightly gripping the nightstick. 

His eyes widening, Reno scrambled over, ignoring Hojo and bending over the girl to take his weapon from her and switch it off. He laid it aside and rolled her onto her back, feeling for a pulse. Her heartbeat was fast but surprisingly steady. 

"She won't die that easily," Hojo said contemptuously. 

Reno turned slowly, snatching up his nightstick. "You _bastard_!" he growled, letting loose a crackling ball of energy. The attack hit him full force, but the scientist only stumbled backwards and glowered at him. 

"Moron," he muttered. "You don't know what you're up against." 

The Turk climbed to his feet. "I don't fucking care," he said. "You've hurt her enough." 

"Reno..." 

He glanced down at Minerva, watching Hojo out of the corner of his eye. She had rolled onto her side and was trying to get up. 

"You just stay put," he told her. "I'll get rid of this bastard and then--" 

"No!" she gasped. "He'll kill you!" 

Reno faltered, her vehemence surprising him. "You think I can't handle him?" 

"You can't... He's..." Wincing, she lay back against the floor. 

"She's right," Hojo said with a smirk. "Didn't they tell you anything before they brought you here?" 

"You mean the part about you injecting yourself with Jenova cells?" Reno asked. "Oh, sure, I've heard all about it. You think I give a shit?" 

Minerva pulled herself up to a crouch. "Reno, don't-- Wait for the others..." 

"But, Min, I--" 

"Reno!" Aeris called, running up. "What are you doing?" 

Reno whirled around. "Aeris! I'm-- Did you--?" 

The Cetra stopped beside him and glanced over her shoulder. Talya lay slumped against a control panel, breathing heavily. Sephiroth was crouched near her, apparently speaking to her. Vincent leaned wearily against a display monitor, and Nanaki stood by anxiously. 

"What happened?" he asked, looking back at Aeris. 

"Vincent transformed into Chaos and beat her with Sephiroth's help. But then he wouldn't change back, and we had to fight him..." 

"Oh..." 

She shook her head. "Details later." With that, she turned to Hojo. "We've beaten your 'servants,' Professor. It's your turn. But first, there are some things we'd like to ask you." 

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" 

Aeris glanced over at the others. Vincent and Nanaki had already started over to join them. Sephiroth stood reluctantly, head bowed, and turned to follow. Reno relaxed and took a step back when they arrived. 

The Cetra's gaze lingered on Sephiroth's face, but then she nodded and looked back at Hojo. "Right. We want to know... why you treated Lucrecia as you did." 

"What, you haven't figured it out already?" Hojo asked incredulously. 

"I know you probably intended to use her from the start," Aeris said, "but why her? And why go through the pretense of courting her and..." She sighed and shook her head. "Why?" 

"Because it seemed the easiest thing to do." He sneered at Vincent. "You know how devoted she was to the Project. It was easy to convince her to give herself to it." 

"But why did you let her die?" 

"I had no further use for her." 

"But I saw you!" Aeris exclaimed suddenly. "When Vincent told you she was dying, you... You had no reason to fake that look." 

The Professor looked at her sharply. "How did you...?" He shook his head and smoothed his expression. "No matter. So what if I was a little distressed to lose her? She was, after all, the first to die for my experiments." 

"You're lying," Aeris stated bluntly. "If you cared, why did you let her die?" 

"Quit asking me why," he snapped. 

"We came for answers." 

Hojo sighed and lifted his head to look at some faraway thing that only he could see. "Emotion is such a strange thing," he muttered. 

Sephiroth scoffed loudly. "Emotion? You have no claim to emotion." 

The Professor whirled on him with a glare. "All you ever saw, boy, was anger. You kept your mouth shut and your eyes down anyway until we brought the Ancients in. _Then_ you decided you were worth something! Ha!" He grinned wickedly. "But you were mine. You were always mine." 

"I was never yours!" Sephiroth declared angrily. 

Aeris laid a restraining hand on his arm. "Shh, just wait a little longer." 

He glanced down at her with a frown, but he held his wrath in check. 

The Cetra turned back to Hojo. "What are you getting at?" 

"You want to know why I got involved with that woman, but you won't believe that I have emotions," he remarked spitefully. "What do you expect from me then?" 

"I'll believe it," Aeris said. "You were human once." 

He snorted. "Why, thank you for reminding me." He turned aside and strode to inspect the broken Mako chamber, muttering, "Messing up my laboratory..." He raised his voice as he continued, "It may be true that I only intended to use her. I'd had the Project in mind for years, and it seemed about time I started getting things in place. And there was Lucrecia--sweet, innocent, devoted, terribly gullible. A perfect candidate for Sephiroth's mother." 

Hojo began pacing back and forth while the others looked on with incredulity; he was actually responding to Aeris's questions. But maybe he'd had these things pent up inside him for so long, he wanted to tell someone. Or maybe he was just bragging. Reno moved to join Minerva, stealing a glance at her face. Her eyes were filled with anger and suspicion as she watched the Professor. 

"So I decided I would pretend to court her," Hojo went on. "I didn't think that I'd actually come to like the creature." He stopped, head lowered. "Gods, she was beautiful..." He turned suddenly with a snarl, glaring at Vincent. "But _you_--! _You_ had to ruin everything. I had it all going according to plan, and then _you_ came and took her away from me. She _always_ loved you more, no matter what she said, no matter what she did in the end." 

"Do you mean to say... that you loved her?" Aeris asked with difficulty. Even she, who could believe the best in everyone, seemed to find this hard to swallow. 

"Yes, I loved her," he snapped. "You can't understand how I could let her die, can you? But it was to get back at _him_ for taking her heart, and to get back at her for loving _him_ and not me. All I knew was that if she died, _he_ would be devastated, and it sounded like a good idea at the time." 

"At the time?" Vincent echoed, his usually emotionless voice now strained with fury. 

Hojo turned to him. "Is it so hard to believe that I regret it? She would have been useful now. And as for you, I know that letting you live with those demons in your head has proved sufficient punishment for you." He grimaced and shook his head. "But you just have to keep getting in my way." 

"Lies," Sephiroth spat, and Reno heartily agreed with him. "He can't be telling the truth." 

But Aeris was shaking her head in amazement. "But he is," she said as the others looked at her in disbelief. "I can feel it." 

Minerva shifted her gaze to the Cetra. "Just kill him," she said, sounding almost impatient. "You have what you wanted." 

Reno turned to her. "Don't you have anything you wanna ask?" 

"No." 

"You sure?" 

"I do not need any answers from _him_," she stated. 

Aeris turned to him. "Reno, could you stay out of this? This is our battle. Just look after her and keep out of the way." 

He nodded, but Minerva struggled to get to her feet. She managed to stand, but leaned heavily against the wall. Reno stood with her, eyeing her uncertainly. 

"I want to fight with you," she said, her voice firm despite her obvious weakness. 

Aeris shook her head. "You fought your battle, and you won it. You don't need to fight this one; you ought to rest." 

"But you may need my help," Minerva protested. 

The Cetra glanced at Sephiroth and smiled confidently. "I think we'll be all right." 

"...all right," the girl conceded. "I will do as you wish, for now. I may change my mind." 

Reno moved to help her out of the way, but he hesitated and decided it was best to ask first. "Need any help?" 

She shook her head and began making her way to the far side of the lab, keeping to the wall so that she could lean against it. Reno ran a hand through his hair and followed, wondering why exactly he needed to 'look after her.' She seemed pretty good at taking care of herself. 

Once she was far from the beginning fight, Minerva sank down to the floor and stared over at them. Reno sat down next to her. 

"How are you feeling?" he wondered. 

"...weaker than I ever have before," she replied. "And yet, somehow much stronger. It is... strange." 

He grinned. "A lot of things are gonna seem strange, once we get you outta here." 

Minerva glanced at him. "You have great confidence in your friends, don't you?" 

"Yeah." 

She nodded slightly. "Then I shall believe in them as well." 

Reno studied her for a moment, trying to read her expression and failing miserably, before he turned to watch the battle. The scientist had transformed; if his human form had contained a great power, now he had given that power a free reign over his body. His Jenova-mutated form floated in the air, twin tails coiling beneath it with barbed tips. Its skin glistened a disgusting tan-green and stretched over the thing's wiry arms and bald head. Reno couldn't decide which was uglier--Hojo, or this new monstrosity. 

Not surprisingly, Vincent had attacked first and Hojo had only just managed a successful counterattack, piercing Vincent's side with one of his tails and then using both to shove him aside into some fragile lab equipment. Nanaki bounded up immediately after and scored a hit with his claws and bladed headdress, but Hojo's tails whipped around, catching him in the chest and knocking him aside after Vincent. 

Sephiroth sent a blast of energy towards Hojo, but he put up a barrier, and the spell only propelled him backwards slightly. Cursing under his breath, Sephiroth ran forward, Masamune appearing out of nowhere as he slashed in a broad arc. The tails deflected his blows, barely, and Hojo's claws came at him; he avoided them and severed one of the tails with a fire-augmented stroke. The remaining tail streaked across his shoulder, but he ignored the wound and renewed his attack. 

Aeris, who had been concentrating for some time, lifted her head to cast a powerful lightning spell on Hojo. She must have nullified his barrier spell, as the bolt hit him full-force, and Sephiroth took the opportunity to cut off one of the monster's hands. 

Recovering from the blows, Hojo sent a sharp spell after Aeris. She threw up her own shield, but it wavered and broke, the tail end of the magic catching her and throwing her backwards. She landed hard on the floor and did not rise. 

Sephiroth's gaze followed her, and then he turned to Hojo with flames bursting from his hands to envelop the both of them. Hojo emerged smoldering from the fire to attack the swordsman with a rapid series of blows from his remaining limbs. Even Sephiroth could not block them all, and the last few sent him stumbling backwards. 

A strong ice spell drew Hojo's attention to Nanaki, who crouched warily beside Vincent, who himself was on one knee, fighting a losing battle with the demons in his head. Wings ripped through his back, horns grew from his head, and the glow in his eyes intensified to a pure crimson. Chaos sprang from the ground, flapping its great wings, appearing almost triumphant at a second transformation so soon. A sharp beat of its wings, and two slashes crisscrossed Hojo's chest, as from unseen blades. 

Hojo sent a spell outward, catching his opponents off guard and sending each of them flying back until they reached the nearest wall or piece of equipment. Chaos shot back through the air and caught the top of a Mako chamber, tearing it from the floor and crashing down amidst the shards of glass. With all his enemies downed, Hojo flew to Sephiroth and fell to beating him savagely. 

Beside Reno, Minerva struggled to stand, and he looked at her in alarm. "What are you doing?" 

"It looks as though they need my help after all," she said, stumbling to her feet. 

Reno leapt up after her. "But you can barely stand; how do you expect to fight?" 

She steadied herself against the wall, her gaze fixed on Sephiroth's cringing form. Gathering her strength, she sprang forward at a run, pulling two knives out of nowhere and sending them flying toward Hojo, accompanied by a narrow blast of energy. The monster slammed backwards into a wall, the blades burying themselves in his lower chest and shoulder. He started to slide down, but straightened and charged for the girl with a feral snarl, claws digging into her stomach. 

He would have continued the assault, if Sephiroth's Masamune had not caught him a glancing blow across the back. He whirled around, letting Minerva fall to the floor, and attacked Sephiroth instead. 

Reno dashed over to Minerva. "What were you thinking?" he whispered sharply as he gathered her into his arms. 

"It bought Sephiroth enough time, didn't it?" she managed, tensing at his touch. 

Shaking his head, Reno lifted her and carried her swiftly away from the battle. Setting her down, he surveyed her wounds with a grimace. "Shit," he muttered. "You should've let somebody else save 'im." 

"I will be fine," she clipped. "I just..." 

He looked at her questioningly, but she only turned her attention back to the battle. He frowned, but didn't question her, and followed her gaze. He was somewhat relieved to see that Aeris was back on her feet and preparing a spell. She let it loose, and it whipped around the entire lab, a fire like that of a phoenix, one that healed friends and scorched foes. It seemed to drain her, and she sat down on the floor, watching as Nanaki called on Bahamut to aid them. 

Chaos, too, had recovered by now, and it rejoined the battle, its unnamable magic surrounding Hojo with a deathly shadow that passed through him and out again, draining him of power. Hojo flew over, managing shortly to get its tail around Chaos's neck and squeeze tightly like some sort of constricting snake. Chaos struggled, clawed limbs scrabbling at Hojo's flesh and tearing it to shreds, forcing Hojo to release his grip and put some distance between them. Chaos dropped to the ground, breathing raggedly. 

Hojo lifted his hand for another spell, failing to notice that Sephiroth was behind him. The Masamune sang as it severed head from body. 

The head bounced once and landed near Chaos, who, with a snarl, added a set of claw marks to the face and sent it rolling a little farther. The body hovered a moment longer before collapsing with a wet thud. 

Sephiroth's Masamune did not stop its motion but continued to hack over and over at Hojo's body, sending blood flying and spattering both the sword and its wielder. 

Aeris started towards him, worry on her face. "Sephiroth, stop it!" 

The slightest hesitation, and the attacks continued. 

Nanaki walked over, limping slightly, and bumped his head against Aeris's leg. "Let him be, Aeris. He has a lot of hatred to vent." 

Reno glanced at Minerva to see how she was reacting; her emerald eyes were fixed on the display of violence, and he could have sworn she was enjoying it. Although, considering how much she must have hated Hojo, he didn't blame her. 

Finally, when Hojo's corpse was an unrecognizable mass of gory flesh, Sephiroth stepped back, breathing heavily, and sank to the floor. He sat staring at what he had done, his bloodied sword lying still beside him. 

Aeris took a few steps towards him, but stopped at a snarl from Chaos, who had not yet transformed back into Vincent. 

Sephiroth's head shot up at the sound, and he slowly climbed to his feet, leveling the Masamune at the demon and arching an eyebrow. "You want to face me again?" 

Chaos growled, but seemed hesitant. 

"You remember, don't you? I killed you before, and I can easily do it again." 

The monster at last dropped to the floor, one claw clutching its head. Its horns retracted, its wings shriveled and withdrew, and its skin paled to a near-white. Vincent crouched there a moment, then stumbled to his feet. 

"Are you all right?" Aeris asked, and he nodded silently. 

Sephiroth studied him warily, then let the Masamune disappear and looked down at Hojo's corpse. 

"How do we keep the Jenova cells from reviving him?" Aeris inquired of the swordsman. 

He did not look at her, nor did he speak. He walked to the head, kicked it scornfully back to what remained of the body, and set the pile aflame. Then, turning his back on the fire, Sephiroth strode from the lab. The others watched him go in silence, and Aeris looked as though she wanted to follow. 

Nanaki nudged her leg. "Go on," he urged. 

She gave a slight start and then nodded. She started for the door at a walk, but soon quickened her step and left the lab at a run. 

"What are we going to do with this place?" Nanaki wondered, looking around. 

"Blow it up?" Reno suggested. 

The others looked at him dubiously. "We would need explosives," the feline said. 

"Avalanche blew up plenty of stuff before; I'm sure your friends can come up with something." 

Vincent had moved to stand near Talya's forgotten body. Reno got to his feet, then bent to offer Minerva a hand up. She refused and pushed herself up, though she could only lean against the wall and look at Talya. 

"Come on," Reno said gently. "Needing a little help's nothing to be ashamed of." 

She closed her eyes, but he sensed in her weary expression a sort of consent. He lifted her arm up over his shoulder and put one of his own around her. He helped her over to where Vincent stood, though she tried her best not to lean on him. 

She broke away once they reached Talya's body and stood on her own, looking down in silence, eyes unflinching. Reno watched her uncertainly. 

Finally Minerva scoffed and said, "You are gone, and so is the Professor. There will be no more lies." With that, she turned to Reno, blue eyes icy cold. "Let us go."

* * *

Sephiroth slowed to a stop and leaned against one side of the hallway. _I can't believe I... And Aeris, she... she saw it. _

What will she think of you now, I wonder. I notice she didn't rush right out to comfort you. 

She has... more important things to attend to. 

Oh? And I thought you were so important to her. 

Shut up. I want to think in peace. 

Oh, but I like what you did to Hojo. I thought you might be a bit more willing to do the same for the humans. 

"No," he whispered. "I didn't mean to..." 

_But you did! You've wanted to for so long--to tear him apart, to slice him into tiny pieces, to feel his blood on your face. Don't tell me you didn't want to. I know you loved it._

Sephiroth put a hand to his face and pulled it back, staring at the blood glistening on his gloved hands. "But no one else. I would not wish that on anyone but him..." 

_But killing him did not rid you of your hatred. You still have much more inside of you. If you fail to vent it, you may burst out in anger when you do not wish to... say, against Aeris._

He shut his eyes. "Stop trying to convince me to kill for you," he growled. "You forget I've another outlet for my anger. I will find you and do worse to you than I did to Hojo." 

_And what will Aeris think of that?_

"I don't care." 

Hurried footsteps sounded coming down the hall, but he did not turn to face her, did not lift his head, did not move in the slightest. 

_Here she is now. Do you think she came to comfort you, or to tell you how much she hates you for doing that to a corpse?_

He did not reply. 

The footsteps faltered to a stop not far behind him. "Sephiroth?" Aeris called uncertainly. 

"What are you here for?" he demanded sharply. 

"What do you mean?" she asked in confusion. 

"You saw what I did. Aren't you disgusted? Angry? Afraid? What do you want with me now?" 

He felt her light touch on his arm and flinched. "No," she said gently, "I'm not angry with you. I just wanted to make sure you were all right." 

"I am fine," he clipped. "I did not sustain any considerable injuries." 

She fingered the deep scratches in his back. "It doesn't look that way," she murmured, and he thought that his physical wounds were not all she meant. 

"Don't bother healing me. It would be a waste of your energy." 

But he felt the warm sensation of healing a moment later, and Aeris leaned against him from behind. "What else do I need it for? We've beaten our enemy, and we have time to rest up before we fight Jenova." 

Sephiroth glanced at her over his shoulder. "What do you mean, 'we'? It is my duty to fight her, and mine alone." 

She straightened, regarding him with raised eyebrows. "Don't think you're the only one with a score to settle. You're not going without me." 

He frowned and looked away. "I suppose there is no escaping it," he muttered. 

Aeris was about to reply, but her mouth fell shut when she noticed the others coming down the hall to join them. Instead she came to stand beside him and asked, "Can you take us back to the airship?" 

He nodded silently, concentrated briefly, and then the hallway around them shifted to the bridge of the Highwind. Seven pairs of startled eyes fixed on the group as they appeared out of nowhere. 

"Welcome back!" Cid exclaimed, the first to recover from the shock. 

Aeris smiled. "Thanks." 

"Looks like you guys had some fight," Tifa noted, studying their ragged, bloodstained appearances. 

"Yes, we did," Aeris agreed. "But we're all right," she added, catching Cloud's worried gaze. 

He nodded slightly. "What did you do with Hojo's body...?" 

"Chopped it up into tiny little pieces and burned it to a crisp," Reno answered. 

Sephiroth shifted uncomfortably, and Aeris gave Reno a stern look. 

"What about the lab?" Tifa continued, ignoring the exchange of glances. 

"It's probably best to blow it up once we retrieve our weaponry," Nanaki said. "I am sure you can figure that out." 

"And Talya?" Reeve queried after a moment. 

"Dead." It was Minerva who answered, her voice just a little too sharp. Everyone looked at her, and for a moment, silence reigned. 

"Anyway," Aeris said finally. "I think we're all in need of some rest, so if you don't mind, we'll answer any other questions later." 

Cloud nodded. "Right, we understand." 

She smiled gratefully and turned down the hall towards the ships quarters. Reno glanced at Minerva, and the two started after her. Not feeling at all tired and even less interested in company, Sephiroth turned to make his way to the deck, where he hoped no one would bother him. He was surprised to find Yuffie there, leaning on the railing, but he realized belatedly that she had been missing from the bridge. 

He turned on his heel, intending to find another place to hide, but she had already noticed him. 

"Oh, hey, don't mind me." When he glanced back at her questioningly, her eyes widened and she looked him over, noting his bloodied face, Mako- and blood-caked hair, and shredded coat. "Gawd, aren't you a mess..." 

"So I've been told," he said dryly. 

"Oh." She hesitated, then waved him over. "Well, what are waiting for? I don't bite! Honest!" 

He joined her at the railing with some reluctance, still keeping more distance than was necessary or polite between them. He looked out toward Midgar and said nothing. 

"So, um... I guess you made it back all right, huh?" 

"Yes. The others are fine as well." 

Yuffie looked him over again. "You don't exactly look _fine_, but I'll take your word for it. Didja have to fight Minerva and Talya, too?" 

"We killed Talya, but Minerva fought Hojo's control and returned with us." 

"Oh." She had not taken her gaze off of him, and he began to feel uncomfortably under such scrutiny. "So... what're you gonna do now?" 

"Rest, and then find Jenova." 

"Jenova?" Yuffie asked with some alarm. 

_Look, she thinks you will join me. No matter what you do, the humans still won't trust you. _

I would rather that, than for their fears to be correct. He glanced at Yuffie. "Yes. To kill her." 

She nodded, looking relieved, and turned to look out at the ruins of Midgar. "Oh, good. You had me worried for a second." After a moment, she added, "Sorry." 

"What for?" 

"You know, for thinking you'd still wanna do mass murder and all." She looked back at him seriously. "Aeris trusts you, and you know, I'll go by her judgment any day. She's reckless sometimes, but she _knows_ people." 

Sephiroth avoided her gaze. "I hope she is right." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"I don't trust myself." 

"Well, that's encouraging." The ninja was silent for a time, and then suddenly she asked, "What's going on with you and Aeris anyway?" 

Sephiroth's gaze flicked towards her sharply. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean, why were you two holding hands last night? And didn't you spend the whole night out here together? What were you doing, just talking?" 

"Yes," he replied coolly. "And nothing more." 

"Really?" Yuffie asked, studying him carefully. 

"Yes," he repeated, forcing himself to meet her gaze. 

She stared back at him until he finally looked away, back towards Midgar. She said nothing further, however, and he nearly sighed in relief. 

Trying to ignore his unlikely companion, Sephiroth leaned against the railing and looked out at the shattered buildings of Midgar. Something between him and Aeris? he wondered. That was certainly implausible, especially after... _But she said she wasn't angry_, he reminded himself. _So surely..._

He shook his head slightly. _Perhaps she is not bothered, but I am certainly disgusted with myself. She deserves the company of her friends, not me. She has done for me what I needed, and I should be able to do the rest, and stand on my own... shouldn't I? _

She should not be around me any longer. Even if she tries to seek me out, I ought not to stay with her any longer than I must. 

Sephiroth frowned, lowering his head. Whatever he may have needed, he _wanted_ to see her again. He wanted to be with her. 

_But what if you hurt her?_

* * *

Author's Notes  
More battles! Haha, well, erm, I sort of... cheated with these. >> Considering I only chose to do one of them from the point of view of a fighter, and the others from Reno's point of view on the sidelines... so he didn't have to be paying attention for everything. P Although that allowed me to have some nice exchanges between him and Minerva. 


	25. If I Knew

**Chapter 24: If I Knew**

It amazed him that Yuffie remained with him throughout the morning and into the afternoon. She left the deck only to get something for lunch, and she returned within minutes to eat it outside. Perhaps this was her usual haunt, but he would not expect her to stay here if it meant staying with _him_. He could not understand her; she had welcomed him when even Aeris had hesitated, invited him to come speak with her, and even apologized for assuming for an instant that he remained a murderer. Of all people, she should have been the most condemning, as he had led Shinra's attack against her beloved Wutai. 

And yet she was not. 

The morning passed in relative silence, Yuffie eventually giving up on conversation, but some hours after noon he heard the door to the deck open, and a group of people came out onto the deck. From their gaits, he counted five and discerned that Cloud led them. Likely they were setting out for the reactor. Minerva must have been with them; one set of footsteps was barely discernible and slightly uneven, and he guessed that she had not yet recovered but that she had insisted she was strong enough to guide them. 

Sephiroth kept his back to them, but Yuffie turned and stepped towards them, out of his sight. 

"You guys going back to the lab?" she asked. 

"Yeah," Cloud replied. 

"You don't have to come," Tifa added. "I don't think we need any more than the five of us." After an uneasy pause, she asked, "Has he said anything?" 

"Oh, yeah," Yuffie answered casually, ignoring the almost palpable tension. "We talked a little bit. He seems all right. You want me to keep an eye on him anyway?" 

"If you don't mind," Tifa answered hesitantly. 

"And make sure no one messes with my ship," Cid put in. 

"I'll try," Yuffie laughed. Her voice sobered. "Hey," she said, "looks like you were strong enough to fight it after all." 

"Apparently," Minerva replied. 

"Well, welcome to the group!" the ninja said cheerfully. 

"Thank you..." 

"Anyway," Cloud interrupted, somewhat impatient, "let's get going. The sooner we finish here, the sooner we get back, and the sooner we're rid of _him_." 

No one seemed to have a response for that. They all knew who he meant. 

"Well, goodbye then," Yuffie said awkwardly. 

All but Minerva replied, and their footsteps sounded towards the ladder. Yuffie soon rejoined him at the railing, and they watched Cloud's group as they reached the ground and headed for the ruins of Midgar. Minerva, he saw, was limping slightly. 

"Cloud doesn't know about your plans to fight Jenova, does he?" Yuffie asked him. 

"No." 

She looked up at him brightly. "Hey, do you mind if I lend a hand?" 

He glanced at her. "Why should you want to? It isn't your fight." 

"What, you thought I was going to just sit back and watch?" she demanded indignantly. 

Sephiroth turned away. "But, you are only human." 

"So what? That doesn't mean I'm weak. Don't you remember the ass-whooping I gave you?" 

He scoffed softly and looked out at the city. If she meant the battle five years ago, those memories remained hazy. In his mind he had already died. 

"I guess not," she said. "Vinny did say something about you losing your memory." 

"No, I remember now." 

She glanced at him again. "Then, you remember when Aeris...?" 

He turned away from her. 

"Sorry," she said. "I guess that's not something you'd wanna talk about. I've just... always wondered why." 

"If I knew the answer," he replied softly, "then perhaps I would be able to forgive myself." 

Yuffie's gaze lingered on him a moment longer, and then she returned it to Midgar. She did not press him further, and for that he was grateful. 

The ruins beyond them no longer seemed like Midgar. Midgar, he remembered as a city of shining metal, where a green haze clouded the sky, and where the brilliant red of Shinra's logo dominated all. This place... this place was not Midgar. It had the metal, but the metal had long since rusted and lay buried in ash. Exhaust no longer hid the beauty of the sky, and the sharp red logos were faded, torn, gone. Gone, too, were the bustling people who had once packed the streets. The only people now were those tenacious few who had chosen to clear away the debris and rebuild their homes where Midgar had once stood. 

The afternoon stretched into evening, the sun sinking lower on the horizon, and suddenly an explosion drew his gaze to Sector 7. A bloom of fire enveloped the reactor, opening and billowing outwards. It was flames, he thought, flames at Nibelheim, and he could not tear his gaze away. The scent of smoke reached them on the breeze, and Yuffie slipped away inside, but he scarcely noticed. The smoking reactor held his attention entirely, save for one brief moment when he wondered if anyone had bothered to retrieve Talya's body to give her a proper burial. He doubted, though, that anyone else cared. 

It was some time before Sephiroth noticed anything else, and then it was only because he sensed her on her way out. He stiffened when he realized it, not sure if he wanted her to come. If she stayed long... 

The door opened, and feather-light footsteps sounded on the deck. She came to stand at his side, but he dared not turn to look. He stared fixedly at the smoke which now failed to capture his interest. 

"I thought you'd be out here," she said softly, leaning on the railing beside him and following his gaze. When he did not respond, she remarked, "That much of it is over, I guess. You don't seem very happy about it, though." 

"I am rarely happy," he replied flatly. "Why should I be now?" 

Aeris turned to look at him. "You haven't gotten over what you did to Hojo, have you?" 

He turned away so he would not see her concern out of the corner of his eye. "I am fine." 

"Maybe that answer is enough for the others, but you're not fooling me with it. Talk to me. Tell me what you need so I can help you." 

"I shouldn't need your help anymore," he stated. _Aeris, what are you doing?_ he wondered. _Don't you know what I am? Stay away from me. Go back inside._

"Do you still hate yourself?" she asked him. 

"Yes," he admitted, reluctant because he knew that his answer would only make her stay. 

"Well, then I'm not about to let you be," she said, and by her voice she was smiling. "I want you to see what I see when I look at you." 

"And what do you see in me, Aeris? What could you possibly see?" 

"Someone kind and gentle and--" 

He snorted, interrupting her. "I am a killer, someone trained since birth to be cold and efficient. I am neither kind nor gentle, only weak and trying to hide it." 

"You say that, but I remember when you were little, you--" 

"I am not little anymore," he snapped. 

She laid a hand on his arm. "Please, just listen." 

Sephiroth glanced at her and found he could not look away. He frowned but nodded his assent. 

"When you were little, you didn't hide your kindness as you do now. You cared about my mother and me, I know, for you to've risked helping us like you did, and to stay behind hoping to buy us some time. I can't imagine the punishment Hojo gave you for that... 

"But now, you seem afraid to be kind, as though you'll fail somehow. Are you afraid you'll end up hurting someone? Even if you never lay a finger on them, are you afraid of getting close and not measuring up? You try to protect everyone by staying away, as if you were a flame, and everyone you touched got burned." 

He scoffed and turned away, not wanting her to see that she was right. 

Aeris laid a hand on his shoulder, and he stiffened. "...I'm no exception to that, am I?" 

"No. It's harder with you, to..." 

She withdrew the hand and leaned to peer into his face. "What?" 

"Nothing..." 

"I guess you can't tell me everything," she sighed ruefully. 

He stared down at his gloved hands where they gripped the railing. Not far from his left hand, Aeris's slender fingers rested lightly on the rail. Her hands seemed so tiny in comparison, so fragile. 

"Why are you out here with me?" he asked her. "Are you determined to ignore what I've done? That I killed you?" 

Aeris shook her head. "No, it's just that... You weren't yourself when you did those things, so I can't blame you. It was a different Sephiroth who killed me, and I don't sense him in you anymore." 

Part of him wanted to argue with her, to tell her that she was wrong, to list in detail what he had done and how that part of him remained just barely held in check. He wanted to yell, to shout it in her face and... 

_What if you hurt her?_

So he only shook his head slightly and muttered, "You certainly have a unique way of thinking." 

"I... guess the others don't understand that," she admitted. "They don't see that it wouldn't do them any good to hate you, because the you that they hate is gone." She looked thoughtfully at her hands. "Me, I couldn't carry that kind of empty anger, and I can't seem to be happy when someone near me is suffering. You're certainly no exception there." 

"You feel it, don't you?" he asked, then grimaced faintly; he had not meant to say that. 

Aeris blinked. "I suppose you could say that." 

Sephiroth nodded, speaking more now to himself than to her. "So, of course, how could you be cruel when you can feel their hurt...?" 

"It sounds like you've thought about this before," she remarked curiously. 

"I used to wonder as a child, because I read about it in books... But they were mere fiction, certainly." 

"Wonder about what?" she prompted. 

He avoided her gaze, lowering his head so that his hair fell forward to hide his face. "I... used to think that you were an empath. Foolish, I know. Laugh if you wish." 

"...I hadn't thought of that," she said, not a trace of laughter in her voice. 

He glanced at her uncertainly. "You mean to say you think it possible, rather than laughable?" 

She smiled gently. "You said it seriously, so I took it seriously. Maybe it is possible." Her smile faded. "Would it make you think of me any differently if I was?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I know that is not what motivates you." 

Her smile returned. "Thank you." She straightened, eyeing the horizon where the sun had just disappeared. "Cloud will be back soon, I should think." 

"Are you going back inside?" he asked, noting her movement. She hesitated, and he cursed himself for asking. _You are supposed to drive her away, not keep her with you._

Aeris shook her head. "No, I think not. If I stay out here, I can welcome them when they get back. You don't mind, do you?" 

He sighed. "No, not at all." 

"I'm not afraid of you," she said, leaning back against the railing, "even if you are." 

"You should be." 

"Why?" she wondered. "You haven't hurt me, only protected me." 

"I killed you," he said forcefully, meeting her gaze. "I killed you. Why aren't you afraid of me?" 

"Because I know you would never do it again." 

"How can you be so sure, when I am not?" 

"Because I believe in you, as does the Planet." 

Sephiroth blinked. "The Planet?" 

Aeris smiled and nodded. "Yes. I asked it about you some days ago, and it said it wasn't afraid either." 

"It wishes me to rid it of Jenova, doesn't it?" he asked, sure that there had to be a reason for the Planet's faith. He had nearly killed it, after all. 

"The path is yours for the choosing," she told him. "It wants you to, yes, and I know you want to, but no one will force you." 

He nodded and turned to look at Midgar, but Cloud's returning party caught his eye, and he watched them as they reached the ladder and started up it. 

Aeris noticed also and smiled. "It looks like they're back," she said, but she did not step away to meet Cloud as he reached the deck. She only turned towards him, one hand sliding from the railing. "Welcome back!" she greeted. 

He nodded, but his eyes slid past her, and he frowned. "Aeris, why do you insist on hanging around _him_?" 

"Many reasons, Cloud," she replied, something harsh in her voice. "If you ever bothered to speak with him, maybe you'd understand." 

"What could I possibly have to say to _him_?" Cloud wondered, glaring at Sephiroth, who met the gaze coolly. 

"More than you think you do," Aeris answered. "And I suggest you try talking at least." 

Both Cloud and Sephiroth turned to look at her quizzically. "What for?" Cloud demanded. 

"It's not healthy to hate someone so much," she said quietly. "And it might ease your fears." 

Cloud did not look convinced. "You think that talking to him is going to make up for what he did? Aeris, there is no way that I am _ever_ going to forgive him!" 

"But you do fear him," Minerva stated calmly, causing the others to turn to her in surprise. "If you continue to avoid him, that fear will remain in your mind as long as he lives." She gave Cloud a piercing look and then headed for the door. 

"You know she's right," Aeris said into the silence that followed. 

The blond muttered something under his breath. 

"Shit, Cloud," said Cid, "it ain't that hard." 

Cloud shot him a glare, but he sighed in defeat. "All right, all right," he agreed finally. 

Sephiroth turned away with a frown. He doubted their conversing would accomplish anything, but if Aeris thought it would, perhaps he would try. The others left them alone on the deck, but Cloud did not move any closer, and the swordsman did not expect him to. 

"You sure have her convinced you're all right," Cloud said, and Sephiroth could feel his suspicious gaze on his back. "What've you been telling her?" 

"Nothing favorable, and no lies, I assure you." 

"Then what does she see in you?" 

"I honestly don't know." 

With a noise of exasperation, Cloud strode over to get a look at his face. "You may not look insane," he said, "but you're even colder than you were before. What the hell is she doing, talking to you?" 

He turned away, keeping his gaze lowered. "Trying to help me, as is her nature." 

The blond snorted. "Help you? What do _you_ need help with?" 

"Many things," he replied levelly. "I hate myself as much as you do, and you know what she thinks of that." 

"You mean you actually condemn what you did before?" 

"Of course I do," Sephiroth snapped, turning now to meet Cloud's eyes. "I should have been stronger. I should have known not to believe Hojo's lies, but I did, and thousands are dead because of it. You think I condone that?" 

"You seemed to think you were right before," Cloud retorted, but he could not hold Sephiroth's gaze for long and looked away to Midgar. 

"I did then, but I do not now." 

"You think I'm going to trust your word?" 

"No. I do not trust myself, so why should you?" 

Cloud blinked at this. "Then you... think you might go mad again?" 

Sephiroth looked out towards the smoking reactor, where Jenova had almost turned him. "Perhaps." 

"What the hell does Aeris think she's doing? If you're that unstable, we should kill you!" 

"Try if you wish, but not yet. I have things to attend to before I die." 

"Things?" Cloud demanded. "What things?" 

"Jenova still lives," Sephiroth answered. "I must find her, and kill her." 

The blond was skeptical. "First you follow her, now you're gonna kill her," he said flatly. 

"I hate her for what she made me do. And, though I know nothing will ever compensate for what I have done, still I must do what I can." 

"Are you gonna do it on your own?" Cloud asked, some of his suspicion fading, replaced by curiosity and perhaps a mild anxiety. 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I had wanted to, but Aeris and Yuffie have both volunteered their help." 

"Aeris?" Cloud frowned worriedly and leaned against the railing. "She always puts herself in so much danger..." He sighed, shaking his head. "If she goes, then I will, too." 

"To protect her?" the swordsman queried, raising an eyebrow. "She is stronger than you, I think, though not as strong as she believes." 

Cloud fixed him with a wary gaze. "If you ever hurt her, I'll kill you." 

He met the glance coolly. "And I would thank you for it." 

"Don't tell me she means something to you," the blond said incredulously. 

Sephiroth turned away. "More than you would believe." 

Cloud eyed him uncertainly, then looked away, scoffing. "You're right; I wouldn't believe it, not of a killer like you." 

"I assume then, that our conversing has done you little good." 

He hesitated. "Well, some. At the very least you do seem sane. But I don't have the faith that Aeris does, and I'm not about to trust you." He sighed heavily. "But, as much as I hate to see her with you... I guess it's safe enough." 

"Aeris can protect herself better than you can anyway," Sephiroth pointed out. "However, if it makes you uneasy, Minerva would be the best guard for me." 

"She seems a lot like you," Cloud said doubtfully. 

"She has never killed anyone, and there is no evil in her that would bring her to aid me should insanity take me again." 

"I guess I'll keep that in mind." 

Sephiroth glanced at him. "I believe everyone is anxious to leave," he prompted. 

Cloud nodded, frowning as though annoyed to find himself agreeing, and then disappeared inside. 

Once he had gone, Sephiroth sighed in relief and looked out at Midgar, half-hoping that Aeris would leave him be, but half-hoping that she would return.

* * *

Vincent lay on the bed in his quarters, awake, though he kept his eyes closed. He had slept little, both because he did not need to and because he had too many things on his mind. Perhaps, too, there had been the surprise of a dreamless sleep, free from the nightmares he had grown accustomed to. Was it because Aeris had brought her back? 

_Lucrecia..._ He felt the airship shift into motion, and he opened his eyes to stare anxiously at the ceiling. He would be returning soon, going back to her. Going back to her with news that he had killed Hojo, a man whom she had once loved. How would she react to that? They had scarcely spoken of Hojo. Surely, though, she would agree that he had become a different man, that killing him had been necessary. Wouldn't she? 

He frowned and forced his thoughts down a different path. However she would react the the news of Hojo, he knew she would be glad to see her son. After thirty-five years, Vincent would finally fulfill his promise to her. It was certainly a reunion he wanted to see. How would Sephiroth react, he wondered, to finally meeting his mother, a woman who always had and always would love him unconditionally? 

Although, he realized, he wouldn't have been able to fulfill that promise without Aeris's help. He had not properly thanked her, had he? For returning Lucrecia to him, and for giving him a second chance with her. That was a debt which he would never be able to repay, but surely there was something he could do for her. He finally recalled a promise he had made to her, to tell her what he knew of her father. He had nearly forgotten that, he thought with a frown. 

Sitting up, Vincent looked around for some paper and something to write with, but found nothing at hand. He sighed, wondering who might have some, and how exactly to go about asking for it. He would have waited, but he was not certain how long Aeris would remain in Cosmo Canyon now that they had freed Sephiroth. 

So, trying to put aside his reluctance, he slipped out of his quarters and went to Yuffie's door, knocking lightly. 

"Uh, come in." 

Vincent opened the door, but hesitated to enter. 

Yuffie sat cross-legged in the middle of her bed, a book in her lap, place marked with a pen. She blinked in surprise when she saw him. "Vinny!" she exclaimed. "Almost the last person I was expecting." She hopped up, setting the book aside. "Well, come on in, don't just stand there in the doorway." 

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him, but remained awkwardly near it. 

"So," she went on, "what did you need? Or did you, for some incomprehensible reason, actually want the pleasure of my company?" 

"I was actually wondering if you had any paper," he confessed, almost sorry that he had not come just to talk with her; she seemed disappointed. 

"Oh, sure thing," she said. "What do you need it for?" 

He hesitated. "I told Aeris I would write something down for her, and only just remembered it." 

She nodded. "Okay," she said, retrieving the book she had had before and ripping a few pages out of the back. "This enough?" she asked, holding them out to him. 

He nodded, taking the pages, but eyed the book curiously. 

"My journal," she explained, frowning at his expression. "Say it's girly and I'll kill you," she warned. 

Vincent looked back at her with mild amusement. "No, I was not thinking that. I am only a little surprised to find that you keep one." 

Yuffie shrugged. "When you're trying to run a country and save the world, life can get pretty hectic. Sometimes I need to write stuff down so I know what's going on." 

He nodded in understanding and took her pen as she offered it. "Thank you." 

"Need anything else?" she asked. 

He shook his head. 

"Nothing you need to get off your chest?" she persisted, head tilted. 

Again he hesitated. "Lucrecia is waiting for me in Cosmo Canyon," he said. 

"Oh. So, I guess whatever you need to talk about, you'll talk about with her." 

Vincent shifted slightly, feeling an inexplicable need to apologize. He said nothing. 

"That's okay," Yuffie assured him with a grin. "Go on and write whatever you need to." 

He nodded gratefully and slipped out the door without a goodbye.

* * *

Nanaki paced the bedroom, every now and then casting an annoyed look at the doorknob which he found himself unable to open. He had opted to share the room with Minerva, but she had left some time before he awakened, and now he was stuck here until she returned. 

For the umpteenth time, he considered scratching at the door to try to attract someone's attention, but that would be too demeaning, so he sighed and sat back on his haunches, tail swishing back and forth. 

At last, the door opened and Minerva entered, glancing down at him uncertainly. She closed the door slowly behind her, and then comprehension and mild amusement crossed her face. "You cannot open doors, can you?" 

"No," he clipped. 

The amusement faded. "I apologize. I should have considered it." 

Nanaki shook his head, his vexation rapidly disappearing now that she was back. "It's all right. You are tired." 

His response did not seem to please her. "Do you wish to leave now?" she asked. 

He hesitated, studying her with his one eye. "...not just yet," he decided. 

Minerva shrugged and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed. 

Padding over to her, he hopped up and settled down beside her. "Are you all right? You do well at hiding it, but I am sure Talya meant something to you." 

She glanced at him sharply. "She may have been my mother, but I cared nothing for her." 

Nanaki regarded her doubtfully. "Oh?" 

"She only ever lied to me, and..." Her words came out angrily, and she stopped herself. "Her death is merely the end of something painful." 

"It seems to me that you are in denial," he said softly, a slight growl in his voice no matter what he did. "For a long time I hated my father because I thought he was a coward, that he had run off and left us. I found out later that it wasn't true what I had thought, but even if it had been... I know that I still loved him beneath the anger. It did me no good to hate him." 

"But before he left you, your father showed you kindness, did he not?" 

"Yes." 

"Then there is no similitude," she scoffed, "for Talya was _always_ a coward." 

"I spoke briefly with her when she came to Cosmo Canyon," Nanaki said. "Perhaps she was a coward, but I am sure she felt something for you." 

"That does not mean I returned whatever feelings she had," the girl replied curtly. 

"I do not think you that cold." 

"You do not know me," Minerva stated. 

He hopped off the bed. "True, but still, I recognize your emotions. I can understand them." 

She frowned minutely. "I have no emotions." 

"But you do," he insisted with a slight grin. "I have a very good sense of smell, you know; you cannot hide them from me." He padded to the door and waited while she stood to open it for him. Before stepping out, he turned to look up at her. "There may be things about her that you do not know, and in learning them, you may find it in you to forgive her. Do not be so close-minded." 

Minerva averted her gaze. "I will speak to Sephiroth about her. You may be wise, but you do not know of what you speak." 

Nanaki laughed. "Wise? Me? I am far too young for wisdom." 

"Why must wisdom come only with age?" she asked. 

He let out a thoughtful growl, and, nodding, turned to go. She closed the door behind him and he paused outside it. She was certainly a strange girl, but he knew the denial she felt all too well. She was ashamed of Talya, just as he had been ashamed of his father. 

Shaking his head, he started down the hall for the bridge, but a door opened and Yuffie stepped out. She started upon noticing him. "Hey, Red." 

"Hello, Yuffie," he greeted, bowing his head. Though he knew she had matured, he could not help feeling a bit wary around her. 

She bent down to scratch him behind the ear. "Hey, relax. I'm not going to try and tie bows in your mane or anything." 

He grunted softly and tilted his head so she could reach better. 

"Say," she said, "do you think we could talk for a bit?" 

"Certainly," he replied. "But... in the hallway?" 

The ninja laughed and hopped to her feet, ushering him into her room. "You're right, as always. Come on in." 

He padded in, settling himself on her bed, and she came to sit cross-legged beside him. 

"I've been wanting to apologize for the longest time," she said. "You know, for how I acted back then. I was so immature; it must've been annoying as hell." 

"That was five years ago," Nanaki replied, eyeing her with some surprise. "It no longer matters." 

"But, I still feel bad," she insisted. "I resented how mature you were, and how that made me look like a child. I should've tried to learn something from you instead of picking on you all the time." 

"It's quite all right, Yuffie," he assured her. "I've long since forgiven it. And... I did not mind as much as I pretended." 

Her face brightened. "Really?" 

"Really." 

She smiled broadly. "Thanks..." She looked back down at her hands, expression thoughtful. "I've been meaning to ask you, about that other, um... the other one like you. Where did she come from? I thought you said you were the last of your kind." 

Nanaki nodded. "That is what both of us thought. As it turns out, her family left the canyon long before either of us was born, but they were unable to return because of the Shinra. Miera lost her parents, but she came back after Meteor." 

"So, are you two...?" She trailed off hesitantly. 

He chuckled softly. "We are both too young for that. We are merely children, pretending to be older than we are. But I suppose she will be my mate in the future. I doubt there are any others of our kind left, though I won't now rule it out." 

Yuffie nodded. "Must be kinda... weird, that way." 

He shook his head slightly. "Not really. We view things differently from humans." 

"I guess." 

He looked up at her questioningly. "Is something wrong?" 

The ninja flopped back and stared up at the ceiling. "I dunno. It just seems like everybody has at least the beginnings of a relationship, and I've barely even stopped to think about it until now." 

"And that bothers you?" Nanaki wondered. Human relationships baffled him. Friendship, he understood. Love, however, always managed to surprise him whenever he thought he had it figured out. Too, he could not understand why humans put so much importance in it. 

"Well, yeah," she stated. "At this rate I'll be the only one still single out of all of us, and then I'll grow up to be an old maid or something." 

"I don't understand why finding someone should be so important." 

She sat up and looked at him with a frown. "Love is supposed to be wonderful, isn't it? Even _Sephiroth_ seems like he's falling for someone, and I still don't know how it feels." She sighed in frustration. "It doesn't help that the boys in Wutai are all losers. Not like you or Cloud or Vinny." 

He bumped his head against her arm. "You are only twenty-one, Yuffie. You still have plenty of time. And if you dislike those in Wutai, perhaps you should look elsewhere." 

"Maybe," she said, stroking his mane. After a moment she shook her head and smiled. "You're right, Red. I don't know what I'm so worried about. It's just a little hard, I guess, being with people who are older than you. You want to do the things they do, but you're still too young." 

Nanaki nodded in agreement. "That, I can understand." 

"I mean, you're young, but you're not human... And Minerva's actually younger than I am, but she's... I dunno. I don't know her, and she's different somehow." 

He shook his head. "No, not so different. I think she just grew up too quickly, and in the wrong kind of environment." 

Yuffie frowned thoughtfully. "What's that like, you think, growing up in a lab?" 

"It does strange things to the mind, that is for certain, and it does not allow one to relate to anyone very easily." Nanaki laid his head on his paws, feeling vulnerable as he recalled what time he had spent in Hojo's lab. "You have to build walls around yourself, so it does not hurt as much." 

"So what doesn't hurt as much?" 

"Hojo's cruelty, the loneliness, the knowledge that you are indeed different..." 

She stroked his cheek gently. "That's right; you went through it, too, didn't you?" 

"Yes," he replied, lifting his head. "But it's effects on me were not nearly as severe as on Minerva and Sephiroth. I had already matured quite a bit, and I did not stay for nearly as long." 

"It doesn't seem like it changed Aeris at all, though," Yuffie commented. 

"If you say that, you aren't looking close enough," he told her. 

"What do you mean?" she wondered. "I mean, Sephiroth and Minerva are both really cold and reserved, but Aeris is so nice to everyone. How did that happen?" 

"She did not go through it entirely alone, so she reacted differently. Instead of keeping her emotions bottled up and keeping her distance, she sympathizes with people, because she knows what suffering is. Even so, I think she hides her emotions, too." 

Yuffie blinked. "But she's always so cheerful." 

"And that is what she would have us think, so we don't worry about her." 

"...I guess you know her better than I do," the ninja conceded. "She really is nice, though, if she does that just so we don't have to worry." 

Nanaki shook his head slightly. "It seems to be her nature." 

She nodded thoughtfully. "Hey," she said suddenly, "have you heard that Sephiroth's going to fight Jenova?" 

His ears perked up. "Is he now? Well, I suppose that would be his battle." 

"I said I'd help. Are you going to?" 

He shook his head. "No. It is Sephiroth's fight, not mine." 

"What do you mean?" 

He tossed his head, mane swishing. "Some battles are very personal, and I see fit to leave them to whoever has the highest score to settle. If they can handle it on their own, that is, and I believe Sephiroth can." 

Yuffie frowned minutely and looked down. "Do you think I shouldn't help then?" 

"If he does not mind, and you want to, go ahead and fight. Simply because my views prevent me from joining it, does not mean that you have to sit it out as well." 

She nodded. "All right." She lay back to stare at the ceiling. "I guess that means I should get some rest. Sephiroth doesn't seem like the type to wait very long." 

"It is late," Nanaki agreed, getting up. "Would you like me to leave you?" 

"Nah," she said, waving a hand. "You can stay and keep me company if you like." 

"I would like to, but I feel I need to stretch my legs," he said. "I have been cooped up too long." 

Yuffie grinned, though she seemed disappointed, and got up to open the door for him. "Then I guess I'll see you later."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Not too many changes to these scenes, I guess, just the order of them. And I tried to shorten them as best I could. Heh. There are some unlikely conversations here, with Sephiroth and Yuffie, and also Minerva and Nanaki. I also think this is the first time Yuffie and Nanaki really spend any time together. 


	26. But You Understand

**Chapter 25: But You Understand**

Tifa watched Cloud uncertainly as he stepped inside. He was frowning faintly, but any other emotions he did his best to hide. He often looked that way when something was troubling him, but she wasn't always sure what to tell him. "How did it go?" she asked. 

He stopped and turned to her. "He's sane all right, but... I still don't like it. Aeris being with him, I mean. What if he snaps again, and she gets hurt?" 

"Why don't you talk to her?" she suggested. 

Cloud shook his head. "I'd try, but she'd just end up convincing me that everything's all right. I'd feel better for a while, but..." 

"I'm sure Aeris knows what she's doing." 

"I can still remember the last time I saw her, before she... died. 'Let me handle Sephiroth,' she said. And then he killed her. I should have been there to protect her. If I... If all of us had been there, it never would've happened. I can't let that happen again, Tifa. What if she's alone with him, and he...?" 

"She's not a child, Cloud," Tifa stated. "And she's proven that she can take care of herself now." 

"Tifa, he's a killer, and she doesn't seem to see that. I..." 

Tifa laid a hand on his shoulder. "She should know it better than anyone. She was one of his victims. She died by his hand. And if she's seen him worthy of forgiveness, that's her decision." 

He sighed in defeat, but worry still creased his face. "I guess you're right..." 

"If you want," she went on, "I'll talk to her about it. I've been meaning to anyway. Even if it is safe for her to be around him, I can't understand why she would want to." 

"He said she wanted to help him somehow," Cloud muttered, shaking his head. 

Tifa peered into his face. "So I'll ask her about it, and see what's going on. Is that all right?" 

He looked up and nodded. 

She put on her best smile and said with mock reproach, "Now you had better get on down to the bridge. Cid must be getting pretty impatient with you, and I know the others are anxious to leave here." 

"Right," he said, hesitating only a moment longer before heading down the steps to the bridge. 

Tifa watched him go, then made her way to Aeris's quarters, knocking softly on the door. 

A cheerful "Come in!" answered her, and she turned the knob. Aeris was sitting on the bed, and she looked up with a smile. "Hi, Tifa." 

"Hi, Aeris," she replied, smiling back and hesitantly closing the door behind her. 

The Cetra tilted her head curiously. "What's on your mind?" she asked, sensing Tifa's anxiety. 

"I wanted to talk to you about Sephiroth," she said. "I... A lot of us are worried about you." 

Aeris nodded, and her expression grew serious. "Sit down then," she invited, patting the mattress beside her. 

Tifa sat, frowning as she wondered how best to go about this. "Well... You seem to be around him a lot lately, and, given his reputation, you can understand why we're concerned..." 

"I'll be all right," the Cetra assured her. "Sephiroth's changed--or, rather, he's like he was before Nibelheim, just with a lot more baggage." 

She shook her head. "But I... I can understand why people followed him as a leader then, but his personality never attracted any friends. He's so cold. I can't understand why you would want to be around him, even if you knew he wouldn't hurt you." 

Aeris shook her head. "You don't know him, Tifa. He only pretends to be cold so others will leave him alone." 

"If he wants to be left alone, why are you bothering him?" Tifa asked in confusion. 

Her friend sighed. "He doesn't _want_ to be left alone. It's just that he never learned how to deal with people, so he always pushes them away. It's his way of protecting them. But whatever he says, I know he wants friends, and that he cares about people more than he's willing to let on." 

"I haven't seen any evidence of that," Tifa said doubtfully. 

The Cetra was looking down at her lap with a faint smile on her face. "You should've seen him when Minerva first captured me. No matter what I said to dissuade him, he wouldn't let them take me away. He didn't want me to suffer in the lab; even though he hated it so much, he went back to it to ensure my freedom. You're telling me that's not even kindness?" 

"Aeris..." 

Aeris met her gaze, her voice more confident now. "But he hates himself for what he's done, and he wants desperately to make up for it, though he doesn't think he can. He doesn't think anyone else will ever forgive him either. I can't just leave him like that. Not when I can help him." 

Tifa nodded. "You've always been like that. I just never thought Sephiroth was capable of... well, caring. Even when he was sane, he didn't seem to see people as anything more than tools." 

"He was trained follow logic, not emotion," Aeris reminded her. "He seems to think that showing emotion is showing weakness, so he avoids it. When I think about all the things he's been deprived of... it nearly makes me cry." 

She looked at Aeris uncertainly. "You care about him a lot, don't you?" 

The Cetra nodded without hesitation. "And he cares about me, too, as absurd as that may sound to you." 

She could hardly believe what she was hearing. Was Aeris falling in love with Sephiroth? No, she would say the same of any member of their group, wouldn't she? Surely she only thought of him as a friend, but... Something about her tone of voice startled Tifa, and the thought was alarming. 

Aeris glanced at her, laughter on the edge of her voice. "Is it really that hard to believe, that Sephiroth cares about someone?" 

Tifa shook her head and quickly composed herself. "No, that's not it. I'm just..." She took a deep breath. "The way you're talking, it sounds like you might be... well, more than friends." 

Her friend actually did laugh now. "No, don't get the wrong impression. It's just friendship. I admit, I feel very close to him, and I may be the only friend he's ever had, but it's nothing more than that." 

"All right," Tifa said slowly, watching Aeris's face closely. Was it just her imagination, or did Aeris seem just a little unsure of herself? _No, you're definitely imagining things._

"Anyway," she went on, still smiling, "enough about that. How are you and Cloud getting on?" 

Tifa looked away. "He says he loves me, and I know we're closer than we used to be, but... I'm still not sure." 

"Cloud's always done his best to guard his emotions," Aeris said, trying to reassure her. 

She shook her head. "No, he's still holding on to you." 

Aeris sighed and lowered her head. "I'm sorry." 

"No, that's all right, Aeris. It's not your fault. None of it." She smiled to hide her own insecurity. "I don't know why I should be so unhappy about it. We're the best of friends, and we're married, for goodness' sake!" 

The Cetra met her gaze, the pretense not fooling her for an instant. "I'd tell you to forget about me," she said, "but we're friends, right?" 

Tifa nodded. "Yes, of course. And even if you did tell me to, I couldn't forget you. Anyway, I should be the one to ask you... How are you doing, without Cloud?" 

"I'm all right," she said, and Tifa thought she sounded very convincing. "I seem to have no shortage of things to do, and so I don't really have time to think about him. I still miss him sometimes, but I don't wish for his arms around me anymore, and... I think it's fading. I can let him go in time." 

She nodded and flopped back, putting her hands behind her head. "We'll have to find you someone else," she said, trying to hide a playful grin behind a thoughtful expression. "That'd help you move on, wouldn't it?" 

"Don't tell me you want to play matchmaker..." 

"Sure," Tifa replied. "Now, let's see... Who do we know that's interested in you?" 

"Tifa," Aeris said, blushing faintly. 

"What?" she asked innocently. 

"No offense, but if I'm going to find a boyfriend, I'd rather do it on my own." Her own words seemed to amuse her, and she shook her head. "Besides, I've got enough to do right now without throwing love into it. I'd rather wait until things settle down a bit." 

"What do you mean, 'you've got enough to do'?" Tifa asked her, sitting up. 

Aeris hesitated. "Well... First, Jenova's still alive. Sephiroth and I have to find her and kill her for good. And then, there's Sephiroth himself. Mending his wounds is going to take a lot of time and work." She thought for a moment. "There are still people I need to see again, too, and I haven't had much time to talk to all of you and catch up on what's happened these past five years." 

Tifa nodded. "I see." She frowned. "You and Sephiroth are facing Jenova alone?" 

"Yes. Well, Minerva will probably want to help, but I don't expect anyone else to come unless they want to. It was hard enough on all of us defeating Hojo." 

"When Cloud hears about this, he'll want to help," she stated. "And anywhere he goes, I go." 

Aeris smiled. "Thank you." 

"Well," she said, reluctantly getting to her feet, "I'm going to head off to the bridge; Cloud's probably wondering what's become of me." She paused near the door and looked back. "And you get some rest. You look a little tired." 

Aeris nodded. "I will in a little while." 

She smiled. "See you." 

"Bye." 

Tifa left, closing the door behind her, and her smile faded. Aeris and Sephiroth as friends... While it seemed perfectly safe, and Aeris adamantly supported their friendship--if that's what it was--Sephiroth made her uneasy. She could not forget what he had done in Nibelheim, and she wondered if she ought to try talking to the man herself, but after a moment she shook her head. 

_Aeris is an adult_, she chided herself. _Moreover, she's a Cetra. She doesn't need everyone trying to protect her when she can take care of herself just fine. Besides, Cloud already talked to him._

This made her feel a little better, and she nodded to herself, readying her smile as she walked onto the bridge. The others greeted her warmly, and she took her place beside Cloud at the front of the ship.

* * *

It was not long before Aeris returned to join him, as he had known she would, and he did not return her gaze as she came to stand beside him. His gaze remained on the horizon. They were passing over the ocean now, but Midgar was still visible in the distance, a faint glow illuminating the sky behind it where the sun had gone down. 

"It's a lovely view, isn't it?" Aeris asked him. 

Sephiroth only nodded slightly. 

"Ever since I first saw it in Junon, I always wanted to ride this airship," she continued, "but I never thought I would, even though Cloud promised to take me." 

He glanced at her briefly. 

"And I never thought I'd be riding it with you," she added more softly. 

At that he turned away. 

"I'm sorry," she said. "You don't feel like talking?" 

Sephiroth hesitated, then shook his head. "No, I don't mind. I merely have nothing to say." 

"You could ask me some questions," she suggested. "It seems like I've been asking all the questions, and I haven't told you much about myself." 

"I don't need anything from you, Aeris. I know who you are." 

She placed her hands on her hips. "Oh, really?" 

He did not reply. In truth, he still did not understand her, could not fathom why she kept coming back to him, but to ask her for an answer felt like intruding on something precious. 

"Well, if you know all about me, then I guess you know what I see in you, too." 

Sephiroth shook his head. "No. I still don't understand that." 

"Aha. Then you must have questions for me." 

He looked down at his hands and said quietly, "I don't want to talk about that any longer. I'll never see through your eyes; there is no point in trying." 

Aeris fell silent. For once she seemed not to know what to say, and he wondered if she had something weighing on her mind that prevented her from finding the right words. 

"All right," he said at length. "Tell me about yourself then, if that's what you want. What happened to you after you escaped the lab?" 

"You mean, after you helped us escape," she corrected with a smile, though it was a sad sort of smile. He waited, and she went on, "We must have ended up a ways west of Midgar. I remember the earth seemed so barren, and there were a lot of monsters roaming about. Mom managed to fend them off somehow, and she led me along by the hand, all the way to Sector 7, but..." 

He studied her uncertainly. "But what? Is that where...?" 

"Yes, that's where my mother died. She was no fighter; she kept the monsters away from me, but she was hurt very badly. I was so frightened, and... and ashamed, because I didn't know any spells strong enough to help her." 

"You were only a child," he reminded her gently. 

"I was seven," she confirmed, glancing up at him. "But you could have managed on your own by then, couldn't you?" 

"That's different," he said, looking away from her. "I had to learn, else I would have... Never mind. Go on. You did not have to continue on alone, did you?" 

"No. We made it as far as the train station, and there was a woman there, Elmyra Gainsborough, who came to help us. Mom asked her to take me somewhere safe, before she died, and from then on Elmyra looked after me like her own daughter." 

"I wondered why you changed your name," Sephiroth remarked. 

Aeris glanced at him and shook her head. "I didn't know about Professor Gast until recently. I've... never used his name. It would feel awkward now, after all these years." 

He looked thoughtfully out over the ocean. "I suppose you had a father then, too." 

"No. Mom's husband--Elmyra's, that is--was in SOLDIER, and they sent him to the front. Actually, Elmyra was at the train station because he was supposed to come home on leave, but he never did. I never even met him. When I had been living with Elmyra for a few years, he died. I knew before she did, of course, because I felt him returning to the Planet. So I told her, because I thought she would understand..." 

"But she didn't, did she?" 

Aeris shook her head. "She was very kind to me, but she didn't believe me until we got the first notice from Shinra, and she certainly never understood me. I was so confused at first. You told me, I think, but I didn't realize I was so different until the other children started taunting me because of the things I would say. I used to run home to Mom in tears, and she would comfort me, even though she didn't understand any more than they did... By the time I thought to hide it, the damage had been done. I was only ever a freak to them." 

Sephiroth watched her with a frown, knowing full well what that kind of regard felt like. "Were you lonely, Aeris?" he asked her. 

She nodded, not meeting his gaze. "You know what that's like, don't you?" 

"I do," he replied. "And I am sorry that you had to go through that." 

"It wasn't your fault at all, and once I learned to deal with it, it wasn't so bad. I just didn't have many friends for a while. The first person who bothered to get to know me was Tseng... He was older than me, but if he noticed I was different, he never mentioned it, and it didn't bother him." 

She sighed, leaning forward across the railing. "Of course, he got a job with Shinra, and I didn't see him again until he was with the Turks. He was very polite, and he never used force, but he was always so cold. It was as though we'd never known each other." 

"He was a Turk," Sephiroth stated. "It was not his job to care." 

"I guess," she agreed reluctantly. "After Tseng left, I was alone again except for Mom. Money was getting tight since Shinra stopped paying her pension, so I started selling flowers to make ends meet." 

"Flowers?" he interrupted incredulously. Had he heard her wrong? 

"That's right," she said. "People said you couldn't grow them in Midgar, but somehow I managed it. Still, it was hard to get people to buy them in the slums. I went up to the plate whenever I could, and that was when I met Zack. We ran into each other more and more often, and I don't think it was by accident, and eventually, he asked me out." 

Here she paused to steal a glance at him, but he chose not to comment. Instead he tried to recall if Zack had ever mentioned her. 

"I'd gotten very good at hiding things by then," Aeris went on, "and he wasn't very perceptive, so I'm not even sure he noticed that I was different. He was a real ladies' man, and immature at times, but... he was nicer to me than anyone in Midgar, except Mom. I was happy with him for a while, but then... he got promoted to First Class, and he started going on more serious missions. One day he went off to Nibelheim, and he never came back." 

"Sorry," Sephiroth muttered, remembering how severely he had wounded Zack. "You must have been worried." 

"You don't need to apologize," she told him. "At least, not to me. We were never very serious." 

He glanced at her. "Please don't lie to me, Aeris." 

She gave a start and met his gaze with some surprise. "What do you mean?" 

"'Never very serious'? You were with him for two years, weren't you? It had to be more than puppy love." 

Aeris looked down. "I guess so. It's been a long time, and I've done my best to forget him. I think... I've almost gotten to the point where I believe myself when I say it was nothing." 

"You should not go so far." 

"Hm. But, how did you know that we...?" 

He avoided her gaze when she looked up. "I knew Zack. I suppose I could almost call him a friend. Anyway, I'm sure you know how much he liked to talk." 

She nodded, smiling faintly. 

"Anyway, continue. You were seventeen then, yes?" 

"That's right. That was about when Shinra started really hunting for me, after you died. Tseng had been promoted, so usually they sent Reno instead, but... he's a strange one when it comes to girls. He started coming by when he was off duty, saying he just wanted to talk. I was scared to death, but he was always honest with me. I guess you could say we were friends, though he still had to put up a pretense and try to capture me when he was on duty. I think we both knew, though, that that couldn't last. 

"Luckily, the day he had to get serious about it was also the day Cloud came crashing through the roof of my church. I asked him to help me out, but when he got me home, I found out he needed to get back to Sector 7." She smiled sheepishly as she added, "And you know how I like to help people." 

"So that's how you got involved?" 

She nodded. "But you know... When I first met him, he reminded me so much of Zack. He was more serious and guarded, but... they shared a lot of the same mannerisms, and the same eyes. I think that's why I insisted on going with him. But he's different, I learned. I was actually able to tell him things, because he was able and willing to listen." She looked down at her hands, frowning. "But, even Cloud never understood me very well..." 

Sephiroth laid a tentative hand on her shoulder, and she blinked in surprise, lifting her head to look at him. He met her gaze uncertainly and released her, looking away. She reached out to take his retreating hand and held it fast, smiling. 

"Thank you," she said. "That was hard for you to do, wasn't it?" 

He looked down wonderingly at their joined hands and nodded slightly. "But... I am not the only one who needs the comfort, am I?" 

She shook her head. "The others don't usually notice, though. And I... I never thought I wanted them to." 

He met her gaze. This part of her, he knew very well. He knew these emotions. "And yet," he said, "you always wanted them to know. You wanted to let your guard down, if only for a moment, and let them help you." 

Aeris nodded, a little smile of release, of gratitude, on her face. There were tears in her eyes, though, and he thought perhaps he had said something wrong. She let go his hand and, much to his startlement, slipped her arms around him. He was too stunned to protest, and by the time he gave any thought to it, she had buried her face in his chest, and he could feel her tears on his skin. 

He did not know what to do; surely she did not need comfort from _him_, and yet... hadn't she hinted that he understood her better than anyone had before? But he was... Hells, he had _killed_ her, and she... No. If she wanted his comfort, the least he could do was give her what he had. He owed her for all that she had given him. 

So he folded his arms around her and held her close, feeling her arms tighten around him. It was a strangely pleasant feeling, he thought. For the first time since he could remember, he did not feel awkward in such an embrace. 

At length she pulled back slightly, hiccuping. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I just..." 

"I don't mind," he told her, keeping one hand at her waist and carefully brushing away her tears with the other. She looked up, and he suddenly found himself staring down into a pair of shining green eyes. Before he knew what he was doing, he cupped her face and leaned down to kiss her, pulling her back against him. He felt her slip her arms around his neck as if to pull him closer, and suddenly he realized what he had done and released her, hurriedly taking her hands from his neck. 

"I... I am sorry," he mumbled, quickly turning away so she would not see his blush and hastening inside almost at a run.

* * *

All thought had left her, and she could only stare after him, absently lifting a finger to touch her lip. Only when the door swung shut did she really realize what had happened. She gave a start and lowered her hand, feeling the blush on her face for the first time. _Sephiroth...!_

She started after him at a run, but she did not see him anywhere; he must have gone inside one of the rooms. She paused at the top of the stairs, looking around desperately. What was he thinking? What was he telling himself now? That she didn't love him? He wouldn't have run from her otherwise. 

_But _do_ you love him? _

I don't know, I don't know, oh gods, I don't know... 

Aeris started down the stairs, head turning this way and that as though he would appear suddenly out of nowhere. Where was he hiding? She could not think straight, could not seem to come up with an answer. All she knew was that she had to find him and talk to him before he... 

She turned towards the bridge unknowingly and stood awkwardly in the doorway, her eyes scanning it for Sephiroth without really seeing those who were actually there. 

Cloud was not the first to notice her, but when he did, concern spread across his face, and he started towards her immediately. "Aeris, are you all right? What happened?" 

She shook her head dismissively, realizing belatedly that it was obvious she had been crying. "I'm fine," she lied. "Got something stuck in my eye is all. Have you... Have you seen Sephiroth?" 

He shook his head slowly, her question only deepening his worry. "No, not since I talked to him before... Why?" 

"I just wanted to talk to him." 

Nanaki padded over to sit at her feet. "Perhaps he is with one of the others," he considered. 

She looked down at him helplessly. "Oh? Who, do you think...?" 

"Minerva, perhaps?" 

_Thank you, Nanaki. Logic... It's failing me at the moment._ She bowed her head in silent thanks and turned back out the door, trying not to appear as though she were hurrying. She reached Minerva's door and paused in front of it, shifting from foot to foot and at last knocking softly. 

The door opened a crack, and Minerva stood behind it, eyebrow arched. "Yes?" 

"...is Sephiroth there?" she asked, trying to see past her. 

"What do you want?" 

"I just... I want to talk to him." 

The girl shook her head. "He said he needed time to think without you distracting him. Perhaps later." 

"Please," Aeris begged. "I need to talk to him." 

"He told me to turn you away. I am sorry." 

She sighed miserably and looked down at her feet. After a moment she looked back up at Minerva. "Can you at least tell him something for me?" 

The girl hesitated, then nodded. 

"Tell him... that he didn't do anything wrong, except to run away." 

"All right," she replied. "I will tell him." With that, she shut the door. 

Aeris shut her eyes and leaned against the wall. Of all the times for him to push her away, this... She felt Nanaki rub his face against her leg, and she started a little; she hadn't realized he had followed her. 

"You are fooling no one in saying there is nothing wrong," he said. "Something has upset you." 

She managed a smile and crouched down to stroke his mane. "It's nothing for you to worry about, Nanaki. I'm fine." 

"No, you are not," he insisted. "What's wrong?" 

"I... can't talk to you about it. It's silly, really. Just... something I didn't mean to do." _Something Sephiroth didn't mean to do_, she corrected mentally, but if she told him that, he would only worry more. 

He studied her uncertainly and nodded slowly. "All right, Aeris." He paused. "You should get some rest," he said. "You look like you need it." 

"Right," she agreed, standing up and straightening her skirt. She gave him a parting smile before she returned to her room, closing the door softly and leaning back against it. _Oh, Sephiroth... I don't mind either._

* * *

Minerva closed the door softly and turned to face Sephiroth, who sat on her bed with shoulders slumped and eyes staring unseeing at his hands. 

"Tell me again why you do not wish to speak to her...?" she said, studying him with a frown. 

"I... I shouldn't be near her," he murmured, scarcely seeming to notice her. "I did not mean to... but I... I could not stop myself." 

"What did you do?" 

He closed his eyes, and his head sunk lower. He did not reply. 

She walked over to sit down near him. "Were you the one who made her cry?" 

"Yes, but that's... I..." 

"That is not what you are confused about," she finished for him. 

He nodded. 

"You heard what she said. That the only thing you did wrong was to run away." 

Sephiroth shook his head slowly, opening his eyes to glance at the door where Aeris had stood a moment earlier. "How can she say that? I should not have... She does not need me complicating things, so why did I have to...?" 

Minerva watched him uncertainly. Whatever he had done had left him in a such state of discomposure that she did not know what to say. "I can give you no answers if you do not tell me what you did," she said. 

"I cannot tell you," he stated, and with that decision some assurance returned to him. "I am... sorry that I bothered you with this. But I cannot face her now. Not after... what I did." 

"Then stay here for now and sort through your feelings," she told him, sure only that he needed time to pull himself together. "I do believe, however, that whatever has happened, she can help you better than you can help yourself." 

He shook his head firmly. "I can't." 

With a sigh, Minerva stretched out on the bed with her back to him. "I am going to sleep. If someone knocks, wake me that I may answer it."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Aaand at this point the central pairing of the fic becomes obvious. P A lot of people find it weird, even disturbing, but whenever I have them in the same fic, they seem to act of their own accord. I didn't intend for this to happen when I started this story; it just did. But when you think about it, they both have that same sense of other-ness and isolation. Aeris acts cheerful, but she doesn't share things easily, and no one seems to understand her. With Sephiroth it's a little more obvious. Neither of them is human. Maybe they're not the same, but I think that other-ness can draw them together, given the right circumstances. 

Also, minor detail here, but this is something that really bugs me. People always seem confused when, in the game, Aeris says that she knew Tseng when they were little. Mostly because of the scenes when he comes to her house as a Turk and she still looks very young. But, really, the characters don't seem to get adult sprites (or polygon figures... um...) until they're fifteen. So technically Aeris could've been fourteen and Tseng fifteen in that scene. Personally I tend to go with the idea that Tseng is something like four years older. They could've been friends as children, but he'd be old enough to join the Turks when Aeris was still young. Phew. 


	27. Nosce Te Ipsum

**Chapter 26: Nosce Te Ipsum**

Most of the battle-weary souls making their way to the gate she did not recognize, and she doubted the darkness of very early morning had anything to do with it. Of the thirteen, she could name no more than four or five, Vincent and her son among them. Unlike the others, those two walked alone, keeping their gazes lowered. 

Aeris was not the first to reach the gate, but she was the first to give Lucrecia any notice. "Well," she said, pausing for a moment and glancing back over her shoulder, "we've brought him back." 

She bowed her head gratefully. "I thank you, though I know you didn't do it for me." 

The Cetra smiled hesitantly and then turned to follow her friends. Lucrecia looked after her curiously, but soon turned to watch Vincent as he made his way up to her. He stopped a polite distance away, and she wondered why he bothered before she realized that thirty-five years of isolation could not be forgotten so easily, even for her. 

"Welcome back, Vincent," she greeted. "How did things go?" 

He held her gaze with apparent effort and answered softly, "Hojo is dead, as is Talya. However, we have brought both Sephiroth and Minerva, Hojo's... newer 'specimen,' back with us. None on our side were seriously injured." 

She nodded, looking him over to make sure he wasn't making light of the matter, then stepped closer to embrace him. "I'm glad you're back safe." 

He placed his good arm around her. "And I am glad to find you waiting for me." 

"Why wouldn't I be waiting?" she asked, not expecting an answer. After a moment she drew back, watching the last few people making their way up the steps. A girl with silver hair and a stoic expression, walking with a redhead, captured her attention for a moment; this must have been Minerva, she concluded. And, trailing some paces behind them, came Sephiroth, head down and melancholy gaze intent on the steps beneath his feet. 

She hated to see him thus and wanted nothing more than to embrace him, but she knew she could not. Not yet. So when he reached her, she only smiled and said, "Welcome back, Sephiroth." 

He slowed to a stop and looked up at her, blinking in confusion. At last something like recognition crossed his face. "...Mother?" 

Lucrecia nodded. "Oh, it's so wonderful to hear you call me that," she said. "Wonderful to see you." She turned to Vincent, smiling apologetically. "Do you mind, dear? I'd... like to have some time alone with him." 

"I understand," he said, gesturing for her to go ahead. 

Taking Sephiroth's hand, Lucrecia led him back to her room at the inn, glad to find it as vacant as she had left it. There she pulled him inside and let go his hand, turning to get a better look at him. 

Sephiroth quietly closed the door, then turned to study her, though he avoided meeting her eyes. "I suppose Aeris revived you," he said at last. 

"Yes," she confirmed, unable to keep her eyes off of him. Her son! "You've grown so much since I last saw you," she said, laughing to hide the regret in her voice. "You were just a baby then, and now... You've become such a handsome man, even if you are a little battle-worn." 

He only shrugged. 

Sitting down on one of the beds, she beckoned him closer. He sat down awkwardly on the bed opposite her. 

"And you have my eyes," she went on. "I'm so proud." 

Blinking in startlement, he finally met her gaze. "What do you have to be proud of?" he wondered bitterly. 

Her smile faded, and she looked down at her lap. "Vincent would have it that I didn't know about all you've done... But I do." She looked back up at him. "I don't condemn you for it. Not a bit. I only... I'm so sorry that I was never there for you, all those times when you were alone and in doubt." 

"You died. How could you have been?" 

She shook her head. "The Jenova brought me back eventually; you know how it is. I... I should have tried to return to you, even though..." She trailed off, shaking her head again. "Anyway, I made so many mistakes before hand that led to the whole mess." 

"You could not have foreseen what would happen," he stated. "It was not your fault." 

Lucrecia smiled and looked up at him, only to find him staring at his feet again. "I suppose we've both made mistakes, Sephiroth, and they're partially our faults, partially the faults of others." 

He frowned. "My actions were my own. Thousands died at my blade, and no amount of water can cleanse these hands." He held the two before him, staring at them as though he could see the blood of those thousands staining them even through the gloves. 

Moving to sit beside him, she took one of his hands in her own. "I don't want you to do as Vincent has done, punishing yourself for decades for your mistakes, no matter how great they were. Punishment will get you nowhere. It doesn't undo what's been done, nor does it make up for it in any way. You should live your life, and use it to save others, as you did for Katrina, as you did for Kari, as you did for Aeris." 

"I took Aeris's life to begin with," he replied coldly. "It was only fitting I gave it back." 

"You could have let things lie," she reminded him. "You could have easily dismissed her as dead and gone, a person of the past, but you didn't. You brought her back, and I know it couldn't have been easy for you." 

"For either of us," he amended. "She has had a harder time of it than I. Her love married another, and she has been swept up in my own personal battles, first with Hojo... and now with Jenova." 

"And she is a reminder to you of all the wrong you've done," Lucrecia said. "Isn't she?" 

Sephiroth blinked, glancing at her. "I had not thought of it that way. But... yes, I suppose she is. And yet, she helped me in so many ways." 

"Even though she was a victim of yours, she treats you kindly, doesn't she?" she asked, watching her son closely. 

He shifted uncomfortably and kept his gaze lowered. "Too kindly for one such as me. She is too reckless." 

"You mean how she insists on helping her friends to fight their battles?" 

"That... and her insistence on remaining close to me. I am still dangerous, and I wish she would stay away. And yet..." 

"And yet she's your friend," Lucrecia finished, "and you want her close." 

He nodded mutely. 

"Well, you don't seem dangerous to me," she decided. "Although, being your mother, I suppose I'm biased. Still, I've watched you for a very long time now. I think I know you well enough to say you won't hurt her." 

Sephiroth shook his head, not reassured. "You cannot know what goes on inside my head, or what I've done these past few days." 

She looked at him searchingly. "Do you want to tell me?" 

"No." 

Sighing, she gave his hand a final squeeze and let it go. "Well, if you ever want to talk, about anything or about nothing at all, I'm here for you. Will you remember that?" 

"I will," he answered, getting to his feet. 

Lucrecia stood, too. "Where are you off to?" she wondered, not wanting him to go. 

He had already gone to the door, and he paused to glance at her over his shoulder. "Somewhere where I can be alone, to think. Besides, I am sure you and Vincent have much to say." 

She nodded. "We do. But... You're my son, and this is the first time we've spoken. I..." 

Furrowing his brow, he turned to face her. "What is it?" 

She crossed the short distance between them and slipped her arms around him, holding him close. "My son, all grown up, no longer a child," she said, trying in vain to explain the turmoil of emotions she was feeling. "I never got to watch you grow, never got to hold you... And now... Now it seems you're beyond my reach. You've become who you are, and I had no part in it." 

He felt tense in her arms, and she began, reluctantly, to pull herself away. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I'm being selfish, aren't I?" 

"No," he said, tentatively returning the embrace. "I... I have longed for this moment as much as you have." 

"You were so lonely, weren't you?" she asked sadly. 

"Yes..." 

Drawing back slowly, she looked up at him. "Are you still lonely?" 

He looked away and did not answer. 

"Well," she sighed, "I suppose nothing changes too quickly." 

Sephiroth only shrugged. 

She offered him a smile. "Now, I've delayed you long enough, unless you've changed your mind. I'm sure you have much to think about, so go on and find your isolated spot. Or maybe you'd rather find Aeris?" When he did not reply, she fingered a lock of his tangled silver hair. "You should wash up first, though, and find something to wear that isn't full of holes." 

Her scrutiny seemed to make him uncomfortable, and he nodded curtly and turned to go. He hesitated a moment in the doorway, then slipped out into the hall and closed the door behind him. Lucrecia remained where she stood for a long moment and then sat down on the bed, her gaze still on the door. 

Her son was all grown up, and more like Vincent than she had thought. That alone was enough to worry her. He found too many faults in himself. But that Aeris girl... He had never had any friends before, not really, but he considered her one. He had done many things for the Cetra, she was sure. And he had said Aeris was helping him, too. 

_Helped_, he had said. Past tense. He wanted her to stay away, he had said. She frowned, hoping he was only insecure and did not intend to avoid the girl. His past deeds already isolated him enough; he did not need to actively seek out solitude. 

A knock sounded at the door, and she looked up, her thoughts scattering. "Come in." 

Vincent stepped in quietly, and she smiled at him as he faltered. "Sephiroth left, so I assumed that..." 

She nodded, inviting him to sit beside her. "Yes, we're through talking for the moment, and your company is quite welcome." 

He sat down near her, watching her indirectly and saying nothing. 

"Tell me... What is he to Aeris?" 

Vincent blinked, apparently surprised by the question. She wondered what he had been expecting. "She means a lot to him," he answered, "though how much is difficult to surmise. As for Aeris... I am not sure. She is very kind to him, but she's that way with everyone." 

"Mm," she said thoughtfully. "We'll have to keep an eye on those two, won't we?" 

"Indeed." 

She lay back on the bed. "The last of the Cetra and a creation of science," she mused aloud. "Opposites. Of course, they do say opposites attract." She looked over at Vincent with a knowing smile. "But then, they're never very different in the end, are they?" 

He tilted his head and did not reply. She hadn't expected him to. 

"You look tired," she remarked. "And dawn is a long time in coming. Why don't we get some sleep? We'll talk once you're rested." 

Vincent nodded and made to get up, but she caught his arm. 

"There's no need to move," she said. "Is there?" 

He seemed hesitant. "But..." 

"But what? I want to sleep at your side, Vincent. My dreams have been troubled without you." 

He held her gaze for a long moment, then nodded. He pulled off his boots and undid the clasps on his cape, casting them aside, and lay back. 

Lucrecia settled herself at his side, her head on his chest. She felt something cold against her and realized that she lay at his left; his claw rested straight beside him, and she could feel it through her clothes. She made no mention of it, however, not wanting to make Vincent any more uncomfortable with himself. Besides, she loved him, and she would accept all of him, however dark or monstrous some parts had become.

* * *

It had surprised him that Nanaki had found beds for everyone who needed them, even the Turks. As he hadn't been able to sleep on the airship, Reno had conked out in the home of some shopkeeper as soon as he'd been led there. By the time he finally woke, it was almost noon. He rolled out of bed, stuffed his feet into his shoes, and went off in search of food. 

His quest, however, was quickly forgotten when he caught sight of Minerva walking slowly along the strip of shops, looking at the wares. Whenever anyone tried to talk to her, she only shook her head. Reno walked over to her, hoping he'd have better luck. 

"Hey," he greeted. 

She stopped and glanced at him. "Hello." 

"Window-shopping?" 

"Excuse me?" 

He gestured to the shops. "You know, looking at stuff when you're not going to buy anything." When she did not seem to understand, he asked, "Did nobody ever tell you about life outside the lab?" 

Minerva shook her head. "I've pieced some things together from Talya's words, but I do not fully understand. I have not had enough time to learn on my own." 

"Ah," he said, contemplating how to go about explaining it. "Well, you see, if you want something, you've gotta pay money for it. Uh, you know what money is, right?" 

She nodded curtly. 

"So to pay for stuff, you've gotta make money. People do it in different ways. You've got people like these shopkeepers here, and then you've got your mercenaries, laborers, entertainers, things like that." 

She nodded again, her gaze sweeping over the shops with new understanding before returning to him. "What about you?" 

Reno ran a hand through his hair. "Me? I'm a lazy bum. I don't work, and I don't get paid. Elena, Rude, and Reeve work, and I live with them." 

She glanced at him. "I see. They support your needs." 

"Yeah. Well, I mean, I work occasionally. Odd jobs that people have for me. But you know, I'm not really good for much." 

Minerva seemed dubious, but she made no rebuttal. "Where do you live?" she asked instead. 

"Over in Junon." 

Another nod, to his disappointment. She had almost seemed curious about him, but now she turned her attention back to the shops. He looked her over, noting the many tears and bloodstains in her clothing. 

"Did you want new clothes?" Reno asked. "I'll buy you something." 

She blinked and looked down at herself, not seeming to find anything wrong with what she had. "What for?" 

"Well, you kinda need 'em," he said. 

"Nn. But why would you waste your money on me?" 

"I'm not allowed to be generous for once in my life?" 

"You... have already done so many things for me," she said hesitantly. 

He shrugged it off and grinned. "So've you. Anyway, it's no big deal." 

Minerva studied him for a moment, her expression unreadable. What was she thinking? he wondered. Had no one ever bothered with even something so simple as this? "All right," she said at length. 

"Okay then. Well, it looks like you've got lots to choose from, so take your time and find something you like." 

"Like? It does not matter to me." 

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter?" he queried. "I'm pretty sure you'd object if I bought you something pink and frilly." 

This didn't seem to amuse her. "Functionality aside, I have no preference." 

"Not even a favorite color?" he asked incredulously. 

She shook her head. 

"Well... have you always worn blue and black?" 

"Yes." 

"Then how about a change?" Reno suggested. "I bet you'd look good in red." 

"All right." 

But she did not stop anywhere. Shaking his head, he put a hand on her shoulder and ushered her into the nearest one. She pulled back immediately, casting him a sharp look. 

He ignored it. "Pick something out, why don't you?" 

Minerva turned to the shelves of clothing with a sigh, snatching up what must have been the first red thing she saw. It was a sleeveless crop top, lacing up by the neck, but she showed it to him without expression. 

"Um... It's neat, but would you actually wear that?" 

She shrugged, turning away. "I told you, it makes little difference to me." She selected a pair of green shorts without hesitation and turned back to him expectantly. 

"Not into skirts, I take it," he remarked. 

She shook her head. "Skirts are impractical." 

"Always the logical approach." 

"That is the only approach I have ever known," Minerva replied. "What other is there?" 

"Emotional, I guess," he answered. 

"Well?" she prompted. 

"Right." He went to the shopkeeper to pay for the clothing and asked about a place where the girl could change. The woman pointed her to a door in the back of the store, and Minerva disappeared inside, returning a few minutes later in her new attire, old clothes folded and tucked under one arm. 

Reno whistled appreciatively. He had to say he liked the new look better. (More skin was always better in his book, never mind what they said about leaving something to the imagination.) This way he had a great view of her slim waistline and the perfect musculature of her arms. And, he noticed, a tattoo of the number twenty-three on her right shoulder. 

"You look great," he told her, but she did not reply. "What're you gonna do with your old clothes?" 

She shrugged. "Dispose of them." 

"No sentimental value?" 

"Why would there be?" she asked sharply. 

He held up his hands. "Hey, I dunno." 

"Miss," said the shopkeeper, "if you're just going to get rid of them, I'll take them." 

Minerva turned and handed her the clothing without a word. 

"Thanks again," Reno said, then turned to his silver-haired companion. "Come on, let's go." 

She followed him out of the store, watching him uncertainly. "Where exactly are we going?" 

"I dunno. We're walking." 

She scoffed and said nothing. 

"What's with the tattoo?" he asked finally. 

"Hojo considered me something like a clone of Sephiroth, regardless of facts." 

Reno quirked an eyebrow. "You may look a lot like him, but you're definitely not a clone." Silence from her. "Do you have parents?" he asked. 

"I suppose you could say that," she replied, avoiding his gaze. 

"Who were they, do you know?" 

"Talya was my mother," she replied dispassionately. 

He stared at her for a moment. "She was your mom? And she died..." She did not seem to like what little sympathy he was showing, so he decided to drop it. "What about your dad?" 

"I will not tell you. It is best if no one knows." 

"Is he alive?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you like him?" 

"Yes." 

"Then what's wrong with telling someone?" 

She shook her head. "There is no need for you to know either the answer or the reason," she stated, a bitterness in her voice and her eyes. "I will keep it to myself as I have done with everything else." 

Reno couldn't help wanting to comfort her, but when he moved to hug her, she jerked away from him. 

"What are you doing?" Minerva demanded, her voice turning harsh and her eyes changing from their previous blue to a wary green. 

"Hey, calm down," he said amicably, stuffing his hands in his pockets instead and trying not to appear disappointed. "Jeez, I was just gonna give you a hug. You looked like you needed one." 

She blinked slowly and did not relax. "A hug?" she asked. 

The redhead was shocked. "You mean you don't know what it is?" 

She shook her head. 

"Well, uh... can I show you?" 

"It is not some sort of punishment?" she asked cautiously. 

"No, no, it's a good thing, Min. Besides, you didn't do anything wrong." 

"But I..." 

Reno grinned and shook his head. "Hey, I don't care if you don't answer my questions. Your secrets are none of my business. I'm just curious is all." 

"...all right." 

"So that's a yes? I can give you a hug?" 

"I suppose so..." 

"Cool," he said, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around her. "This is a hug," he explained. He pulled back slightly and looked up at her. "Only, you've gotta hug me back, see?" 

Minerva shook her head in confusion. "Why? What is the purpose?" 

"I dunno," Reno said as he stepped back. "It just feels good. Comforting, maybe? I mean, me, I do it 'cause I like girls." 

"So you only hug girls?" 

"Well, I do, but that's 'cause I'm a guy and I'm not really interested in getting close to other guys without copious amounts of alcohol involved." When she only regarded him blankly, he tried again. "I mean, it's a sign of affection, right? Friends hug their friends, sisters hug their brothers, guys hug their girls, mothers hug their kids, et cetera, et cetera." 

"Mothers hug their kids," Minerva echoed, then turned away. "Mine never did." 

"That sucks," Reno stated eloquently. "And now she's dead..." 

"You pity me for it," she said flatly. "You shouldn't bother. I never cared about her." 

He hesitated. Normally, comforting a girl would be a cinch, but Minerva wasn't a normal girl, and if he treated her like one, she'd only resent him for it. "Minerva," he began. 

"I know what you are going to say, and I am going to ask you not to say it." 

"But I--" 

"I don't want to hear it," she snapped, still not turning around. 

Reno was beginning to get a little frustrated. He took her by the shoulder and pulled her around to face him. "I don't like people telling me to can it," he said, "so you're gonna listen, whether you like it or not." So much for comforting her. 

Minerva frowned, her eyes going to his hand on her shoulder. 

"You shouldn't lie to yourself," he told her. "If you didn't care about your mom, you wouldn't've brought her up. You're upset that she died; don't think I can't tell." 

The silver-haired girl still did not reply. 

"But you've gotta understand something," Reno went on, trying not to feel like an idiot. He hadn't even known Talya. "She was a Turk, right? Sure, we aren't supposed to care, but sometimes we do anyway. We just don't have a clue how to show it." 

"You seem to know how," she pointed out. 

"Me?" he scoffed. "I just learned some tricks to pick up girls. Doesn't mean I'm any good at the real thing. This Talya lady, she spent all her time in Hojo's lab, and there ain't much to learn there. So what if she didn't hug you and kiss you on the cheek like most moms do? She must've tried something." 

Minerva looked at him, and he almost expected her to ask what a kiss was. "She probably hugged Sephiroth sometimes," she said. 

Reno blinked in surprise. "Huh? Sephiroth?" She only nodded, and he frowned, trying to figure this out. "So, what? You're jealous 'cause your mom cared more about Sephiroth than she cared about you?" 

"You do not understand," she stated. "I am merely pointing out that she was capable of affection. She was capable of showing me something, but she did not care about my existence, nor I about hers. And I do not care about affection. It does not matter to me." 

"That's a lie," he said simply. 

There was very little blue left in those narrowing eyes, he noted. He wondered if it meant she was angry with him. "Are you implying that I want to be loved? That I am weak?" 

Reno shook his head. "Yes to the first, no to the second. Two different things, Min. Wanting love doesn't make you weak. Hell, everyone needs it. You're strong 'cause you've managed to last so long without it. Aren't many people who can do that." 

"But I am different from them. I do not need it, so it is a weakness to desire it." 

"Nah, you're not so different." 

Minerva's eyes flickered before settling on a pure green. Those pretty eyes could be so expressive, if only he knew how to read them. "What do you mean?" she asked guardedly. 

There was a small cluster of crates huddled against the side of a nearby shop, the last in the line of them, and he pulled himself up onto one of them. "Well... you don't look or sound any different." He grinned as he added, "You don't feel any different either." 

She did not smile, and he wondered what it would take to make her. "That does not make me the same." 

"I know. I mean, there's more to it than that. You have feelings, too, just like the rest of us, whether you want to admit it or not. You're guilty about fighting us, aren't you?" 

"Yes." 

He was surprised she even answered, let alone admitted it. "See?" 

"That does not prove anything." 

"Well, you've gotta have other emotions besides that. That's just one of the bad ones. The problem is, you haven't had the chance to feel the better ones." He gestured to the crate beside him, inviting her to sit down. To his greater surprise, she sat. 

"Why do you even bother?" she asked him. 

"'cause I like you." 

Minerva blinked. "Why?" 

"Because you're you." 

"Why does that merit liking?" 

Reno frowned, not really knowing how to answer that. Nobody ever had ever asked him such a question before. "Um... I dunno, really." 

Minerva was studying him intently. "I know why I like you." 

"Wh... what?" he stammered, turning to stare at her incredulously. Here he'd been thinking that she just barely tolerated his presence. 

"You do not lie to me. You treat me the same as anyone else." She paused and shook her head. "Better, perhaps, for I've seen how hard you are on your friends. You have been very kind to me, and patient though I know so little about this world of yours." 

Reno ran a hand through his hair, grinning in embarrassment. "Jeez... Most people just call me a drunken womanizer or a bastard." 

"Womanizer?" 

"Um. A guy who goes after girls so he can have sex with 'em, basically." 

"...oh." 

He shifted uneasily, for the first time bothered by this reputation of his. "But that's not what I'm trying to do now," he said. 

"I know," she replied. 

"So, uh... what were we talking about?" 

"You were going to tell me why you like me." Her eyes remained on his face, an unreadable blue-green. 

Reno looked down, avoiding her gaze. "Oh. Right." 

"You haven't any idea, have you?" 

He shrugged in surrender. "Not really." 

Minerva stood, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, she smiled a little. "Perhaps I should leave you to think about it. Aloud I may deny certain things, but in my mind I cannot, and I have reasons for everything. Nosce te ipsum." 

"Huh?" 

"Know yourself." 

"Oh." He pushed back his hair and grinned sheepishly. "I'm an idiot, aren't I?" 

She shook her head. "No. Many brilliant people hardly know themselves. Sephiroth, for instance, has only just begun to understand himself." 

"With Aeris's help," Reno pointed out. 

Minerva did not acknowledge the comment and strode off without another word. Reno watched her go with a frown. 

_Know yourself, huh?_

* * *

Author's Notes  
First off, the title "Nosce Te Ipsum" is brought to you by Sluggy Freelance's Fire and Rain arc. It's funny where I get my Latin references from. I've taken four years of the language now, but my references always seem to come from elsewhere. Minerva's name, for example, came not from any knowledge of Roman mythology, but from a type of armor you can pick up in FF7 called the Minerva Band. >>; I only learned of the name's real significance after the fact, and it's surprising how appropriate it was. 

Anyway, rather lengthy Reno/Minerva scene. They're fun to stick together, too. So much so that I never had the least bit of trouble writing them. Stick them in the same scene and bang, five pages are done and it only took me an hour. 


	28. Questions

**Chapter 27: Questions**

She was sitting with Miera on a ledge overlooking the canyon when Aeris approached and joined them in watching the preparations below. 

"Hey, Aeris," Katrina said, surprised that the Cetra hadn't greeted them first. 

Her voice seemed to snap Aeris out of a daze, and she looked at Katrina for the first time. "Oh, hi, Katrina, Miera. How are things going?" 

"Good," she replied, studying the Cetra carefully. "Me and Elena were helping out with the preparations a little while ago. She told me about what happened. You guys had quite a time of it, huh?" 

Aeris nodded. "Yes, we did." She didn't elaborate, but instead turned to Miera with a smile that did not touch her eyes. "What about you?" 

"Fine, fine, especially since you've returned. It will be good to see the Candle lit again and people gathered about it. I've not seen anyone besides Sephiroth sitting there since it went out." 

"Sephiroth?" Aeris wondered. 

Miera nodded. "Yes. All by himself. I must say, he worries me." 

"Mmm," the Cetra agreed absently. 

"Did something happen to him while he was at the lab?" Katrina asked. 

The question earned her a sharp glance, one she hadn't thought Aeris could give. "He was in a laboratory, a place which he hated immensely, and had to endure days of Hojo treating him as a specimen. You shouldn't have to ask." 

"Sorry..." 

Aeris shook her head, her expression softening. "No, it's all right. I shouldn't have... I just haven't slept well is all." 

"Is there something on your mind?" Miera asked carefully. 

"Not really." She turned then and looked over her shoulder as though she'd heard something. Following her gaze, Katrina saw Sephiroth step out onto the landing, his eyes downcast. When he noticed Aeris, he paused, and then turned on his heel and strode back inside. 

"What's up with him?" Katrina asked, frowning worriedly. 

"He's been avoiding me ever since we got back," Aeris sighed. 

"Why?" 

She shook her head, offering no answer. 

"Maybe you should go after him and ask him," Katrina suggested. 

The Cetra shook her head again. "No, I know why. I just..." She got to her feet, abandoning her sentence. "Well... I've got things of my own to do. I just wanted to check up on the two of you." 

"Okay. See you." 

"Bye," Aeris replied softly, turning to walk back inside. 

Katrina shook her head. "She's not looking too great..." 

"No," Miera agreed. "And neither is Sephiroth." 

"I think those two need to talk." 

"Perhaps, but I'm not sure there is anything Aeris can do at this point." 

Katrina turned to regard her quizzically. "What do you mean? Why is he running away from her?" 

"He is afraid of himself; I can see it in his eyes. I hear he has his memory back now; his memories of killing her must torment him, and he fears that he will do it again. She will not be able to help him until he can be in the same room as her without bolting." 

The girl faltered. "You think I should go talk to him?" 

"You should try, at the very least." Miera hesitated and then added, "Of course, there is some risk involved if his fears have any truth to them." 

Katrina hopped to her feet. "All right," she said. "I'll do my best." 

"Be strong, and be brave." 

She blinked, eyeing Miera uncertainly, then went to find Sephiroth. She had a pretty good idea where he had gone, and, sure enough, she found him up near the observatory, sitting on the edge of the cliff and looking down at the people below. He wore a simple black T-shirt now, she noticed, instead of his old black trench coat, and she wondered who had convinced him to make the change. 

Shaking her head, she walked over to sit down near him, but he did not so much as glance at her. "Hi, Seph," she greeted awkwardly. 

He nodded slightly, but said nothing. 

"How are you doing?" she asked, knowing exactly how he would answer. 

"Fine." 

"You don't _look_ fine," she stated. 

Sephiroth glanced at her briefly. "I am all right, and anyway, I do not see why you should care." 

"I'm not allowed to care about a friend?" 

This earned her a raised eyebrow. "Friend?" he echoed. 

"Yeah," Katrina answered. "Or would you rather not be?" 

He shook his head slightly, looking down at the village below. "I just... doubted anyone would call me that." 

She offered him a smile, though he didn't seem to notice. "I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. What about Minerva?" she asked, following his gaze to see the girl walking with Reno down below them. "And Aeris?" 

"Minerva... is more like a sister. And Aeris..." He trailed off, frowning slightly. 

"You've been avoiding her all day. Did something happen between you two?" 

Sephiroth turned away. "It does not concern you." 

"She's your friend, isn't she?" Katrina went on. "I'm sure she considers you one, anyway. Don't you think she might want to see you?" 

"She is a fool if she wishes for my company," he replied bitterly. "I am her murderer; she should want no part of me." 

She shook her head. "But you brought her back, didn't you? And she's forgiven you for killing her. You're sane now anyway; it's not like you're going to do it again. She knows all that, and she wants to be with you. It's you who's been staying away from her. Why is that?" 

"I have not the confidence in myself that either of you has. I cannot control myself as well as you seem to think." 

"You've been all right so far," the girl argued. 

Sephiroth looked at her sharply. "How do you know? And what good is 'so far' anyway? It guarantees nothing." 

"If you're that unstable, what good is staying away from everyone going to do?" 

"I am protecting them," he answered, then frowned slightly at his words. 

"But you're more likely to snap if you go through this alone," Katrina reasoned. "If you have people to help you, like Aeris, maybe you'll regain your control. Right now you're just putting the lid on your feelings and letting them simmer." 

"What else am I supposed to do with them?" he demanded harshly. "I cannot take them out on anyone." 

"You mean your anger?" She thought for a moment, wondering what words to use. "Well... It'd probably help if you let yourself relax and have a little fun," she said. "If you're happy, the anger tends to fade." 

Sephiroth scoffed. "And since when have I ever been happy?" 

"Well, you're really not going to be if you keep isolating yourself, now are you?" 

"Most people hate me," he said dryly. "I will only find more anger in their company. And do not tell me that Aeris does not hate me, because her friends certainly do, and the worse for it when I am with her. In any case, she would prefer to be with them, no doubt." 

"I wouldn't say that," Katrina said. "She hasn't been smiling much at all today, even though she's got a lot to smile about. Why do you think that is?" 

"Perhaps it is because she plans on leaving her friends soon to fight Jenova with me," he considered. "I doubt that is anything to be glad about." 

"No," she said, "I'll bet she just wants to hang out with you. Maybe she even feels like she did something wrong for you to avoid her like this." 

"But I was..." he began, then glanced at her and shook his head. "She did nothing. And she should know it." 

"Maybe she doesn't," Katrina persisted. 

Sephiroth shook his head again. "No matter. It is not safe for her to be near me." 

"What do you mean, 'it's not safe'? You haven't hurt her in this life. You haven't hurt anyone that didn't deserve it." 

"How do you know?" he repeated. "Perhaps I will try to kill her again. Perhaps I will snap when I am with her. I do not want that to happen." 

"You're fine around me," she pointed out. "Why should it be so much harder with her? She's a lot more important to you, isn't she? So wouldn't it be harder to hurt her, not easier?" 

"You do not understand," Sephiroth clipped. "Stop pretending that you do." 

"Then explain it to me!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "I've been asking you, but you aren't giving me very good answers." 

He stood abruptly and glared down at her accusingly. "What do you want from me? You want me to face her again, after what I did? I cannot. I will not." 

Katrina climbed to her feet. "What do you mean, 'after what you did'?" 

"It is none of your business," he answered harshly, turning his back on her. 

"But you're the one who brought it up!" 

"You are the one demanding that I go back to Aeris when you know nothing of what has happened between us and what might happen yet. You have not the knowledge or wisdom necessary to make such judgments. Now leave me be, and take your words of 'reassurance' elsewhere. I do not need them." 

"You need them," she insisted, "but not from me. You need Aeris to help you. She's better at it." 

He turned back to face her, his eyes a violent emerald. "I don't want to be near her! Haven't you heard my words? It is dangerous for her to be near me, and it is dangerous for you now as well. Go, before something lamentable befalls you." 

"It's not going to be any safer for her if you stay away now," Katrina persisted desperately, not willing to abandon him, whatever fear those eyes awoke in her. "If she's going with you to kill Jenova, you _have_ to be able to control yourself around her. And you won't be able to do it if you avoid her all the time!" 

Sephiroth stepped forward and grasped her forcefully by the shoulders. "You do not understand," he growled, "so you had best shut your mouth before it gets you into trouble." 

"What trouble?" she managed, trying to keep her voice from quaking. "You wouldn't hurt me. I know you wouldn't." 

"Those are foolish words indeed. I've killed before; why should it be any harder now? Just behind you is the edge of the cliff. All I have to do is push you, and you will fall to your death." 

"But you won't," Katrina stated, her voice a bit firmer though her heart was racing, its beats thumping in her ears. 

"How can you be so sure?" Sephiroth demanded, eyes narrowing. 

Oh, gods, she hoped she was right. "You're not a murderer. Not now." She took a deep breath. "You think you can do it? Go ahead. Try." 

He stared at her, his emerald eyes filled with both anger and amazement. "You must have a death wish," he said. 

"I'm trying to prove something to you," she answered, unable to tear her gaze away from his. She dared not look behind her, for fear of seeing just how far she had to fall... 

Sephiroth shifted his grip on her shoulders, as though to push her away, and stood frozen thus for a long moment. Her heart thudded loudly in the thick silence. Would he do it? Would he really kill her? She didn't want to die. Oh, gods, she didn't want to die. _What are you thinking?_ she chided herself. _He wouldn't kill you... would he?_

He tensed, his hands moved forward ever so slightly, and then he shook his head. "What am I doing?" he asked himself, releasing her and stumbling backwards. 

Katrina felt her legs give way beneath her, and she dropped to the ground and sat motionless, her eyes wide as what had almost happened hit her full force. When she finally managed to look up, she saw Sephiroth standing several paces away from her, looking ready to bolt. She struggled to her feet. 

"Sephiroth, wait." 

"But I almost..." he began, his voice hardly above a whisper. 

She took a step towards him, wishing she could steady her own voice. "But you didn't. I knew you wouldn't." 

"But I..." 

She shook her head. "It's okay. I'm fine. And you know now, that you can't kill anyone as easy as before." Her voice was still shaking, and she scolded herself for it. 

Sephiroth took another step back. "I... If I had... you would have..." 

"But you didn't, and I'm still alive," she went on, half to reassure him, half to reassure herself. "And if you couldn't kill me, then there's no way you could kill Aeris, right?" 

His head dropped, and his silver hair fell forward to hide his face. "But I came so close..." 

"And you stopped yourself." 

"But what if next time, I...?" 

Katrina shook her head, not wanting to consider it but knowing she had to. "There shouldn't be a next time. What would Aeris say to make you so angry? And anyway, you care a lot more about her." 

He nodded slowly, but did not reply. 

She laughed nervously, sheepishly. "I was being pretty stupid anyway, provoking you like that." 

"Yes, you were," he agreed softly, then added, "but brave also. I thank you." 

She smiled. "Does that mean I've accomplished something? Are you going to stop avoiding Aeris?" 

Sephiroth hesitated. "I will not avoid her, but I will not seek her out either." 

"I guess that's better than nothing," she decided. "I guess I'll head back down now, unless... Will you be all right by yourself?" 

He nodded jerkily and went back to the ledge, sitting down heavily. Katrina watched him carefully, and after a moment he said, "Could you...? Never mind." 

"...sure, I'll stay." She made her way back over to him and took up her seat beside him. "At least for a little while."

* * *

"Elena?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Who am I?" 

She turned to look at him as though he'd lost his head. "What, have you got amnesia or something? You're Reno, that's who." 

"But who exactly is 'Reno'?" 

"Okay, you're officially scaring me." 

He sighed. "Never mind. Hey, you know a good place to eat around here?" 

"Why don't you try the inn?" she suggested. "I hear they've got pretty good drinks there, too." 

Reno stared at her. Here she had been the one to scold him and Rude for wasting all their money on alcohol and forcibly drag them away from bars until she'd gotten it into their heads that if they ever came home drunk she'd kill them. And now she was casually suggesting that he go have a beer, as though she'd never done any of that. 

"What?" she asked. 

"Since when did you decide it was okay for me to drink again?" he asked, almost suspiciously. 

Elena shrugged. "One or two won't matter, I guess. You look like you need one, and I guess you deserve something for your efforts." 

"Just hearing _you_ say that I _deserve_ something makes me feel a lot better." 

"Oh, come on," she said, "you _did_ just help kill Hojo and save that girl and stuff, didn't you? Isn't that worth something?" 

Reno held up his hands. "Yeah, sure. I just never thought you'd acknowledge it." 

"Well, you did something right for once, and I'll make note of it, even though maybe your motives weren't so great." 

"What's that supposed to mean? There somethin' wrong with hating Hojo?" 

She turned to him with her hands on her hips. "Don't play dumb. You like that Minerva girl, don't you?" 

"So what if I do?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets. 

"It's _always_ about girls." 

He shook his head. "It's different this time." 

Elena regarded him skeptically. "What do you mean, different?" 

He shrugged. "I'm not after her for my usual reasons. There's something... special about her." 

At this she burst into laughter. "No way! Don't tell me that _you_, of all people, are falling in love! You've gotta be kidding me. You are, aren't you?" 

Reno frowned. "Elena, you should understand, unless your thing for Tseng was just a silly crush." 

"How dare you--" she began angrily, but he cut her off. 

"I didn't think so. So don't laugh about Min." 

"But Reno, you--" 

"I _know_," he interrupted again. "I know I've never been serious about anyone before, but... There's gotta be a first, right?" 

"I guess," Elena conceded irritably. "I just don't understand why you picked her. I mean, what do you see in her that's so special?" 

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," he answered, walking off without waiting for a reply. Talking with Elena wasn't helping at all. He needed to be alone. Right now, though, there weren't many secluded places since everyone was bustling about getting ready for their celebration--both of the relighting of the Candle, and the victory over Hojo. 

He headed for the inn and plopped himself down at a corner table below the stairs. A waitress came over, and he ordered whatever was cheapest and settled down to think. 

Why _did_ he like Minerva? 

A number of reasons came readily, but he wasn't sure they were enough. She had bothered to ask his name. She had begged him not to fight a suicide battle. She had continued to take him seriously despite his joking. Had anyone ever done that before? Not really. He was just Reno--a womanizer, a drunk, a lazy bum, a Turk who had only worked for the money. But Minerva didn't think so. She hadn't labeled him. 

Instead she seemed to think that he was--or could be--just as good as anyone else. She was so used to people lying to her and being cruel to her that even Reno seemed honest and gentle. And, he realized, he was. To her. Somehow he felt more comfortable around her, maybe because he had sensed that she wouldn't laugh at his opinions or tease him if he tried to express something even the slightest bit personal. 

Not like Elena at all; she would laugh, and she would tease. Not like Aeris, who seemed oddly beyond his reach, who he couldn't talk to, even if she did care. Minerva, too, put up a sort of front, but it seemed more because she didn't know how else to act than because she didn't want anyone to really know her. 

With Aeris, though, it was different. She kept a lot of secrets because of what she was, and no matter how much she trusted someone, she never told him. He'd never understood that, and that was probably what had kept him from falling for her. She was really nice, and she knew how to listen, and she always insisted on helping people, but... who was Aeris, really? He certainly didn't know. 

Who was Minerva? A girl who had suffered a lot, and wanted desperately to be strong. She probably hated herself for being unable to disobey her orders, and called that a weakness. But she was strong because she had chosen pain over succumbing to Professor Hojo. And now, now that she was free of all that, her innocence was what struck him. That and her ignorance of so many simple things, like how to deal with other people. She was so awkward in this world, and at the same time confident that she could get through it. 

But he still wasn't sure who Reno was. He'd always hidden the answer behind jokes and a haze of alcohol, not understanding what real pleasure was and seeking it in all the wrong places. He hadn't thought anyone would ever _want_ to know what was beneath that. His friends only knew that there was something there, but he'd never let them know what it was, really. He himself didn't know anymore. 

Helping his friends, and helping Minerva, over the last few days had felt... well, pretty damn good. It had made him feel like maybe he was actually good for something. He'd found out that he _could_ be genuinely nice, and that, although sometimes it was harder to tell the truth, in the end it was a relief not to have to remember what lies he'd spouted. 

Who was he? He wasn't sure yet. But he was finding out, and that would have to do for now.

* * *

Making her way up to the observatory, Minerva found Sephiroth sitting alone on the ledge, as she knew she would. He was always there, it seemed. As she approached him, she wondered what he was thinking about. Aeris? Jenova? She hoped that he was not fighting with Jenova again, because she did not know whether he would win. 

"Sephiroth?" she asked hesitantly. 

He glanced at her briefly before returning his attention to the village below. 

She moved closer and sat down beside him, wondering with a frown if he was the one to ask. Of course, who else did she have? "What is a kiss?" she asked finally. 

He started and looked back at her. "Why do you ask?" he queried guardedly. 

"Reno mentioned it while we were talking," she replied, watching him uncertainly, "but I did not think to ask him then. It did not seem important." 

Her words seemed to relieve him, and Sephiroth nodded to himself. "A kiss is... when you touch your lips to someone else's, or perhaps to their cheek or hand..." 

"Oh," she said. Was that what he had...? "Is it a sign of affection? Like a hug?" 

He nodded again, shifting uncomfortably. "More or less." 

Minerva leaned back on her hands, regarding him thoughtfully. "It is stronger though, is it not?" 

"Yes..." 

"Aeris cares for you, too, you know," she told him, still watching him from behind. 

Turning to meet her gaze, he shook his head with something pained in his eyes. "Not... like that. She cannot... How could anyone care about me that much, abomination that I am?" 

"You are not an abomination. The you that killed thousands and attempted ascent to godhood--that is not the you that is here now. Perhaps it is still within you, and you have not killed it yet, but you have control over it." 

He turned away. "Even you agree with Aeris." 

"Because she is right." Minerva sat up and followed his gaze to the village below, where the late afternoon sun painted the canyon and its people in a warm yellow. "If you are avoiding her because you kissed her, you should not. She did not seem to mind; she only seemed worried about you. She knew you would blame yourself for doing something 'wrong.'" 

"I should not have made my feelings clear," he insisted. "Already she must reject a man's feelings and hold her own in check. She does not need me to complicate things further." 

"What do you mean?" she asked. 

"She loves Cloud, and he returns her feelings, but he married Tifa after she died." 

She had not heard the term 'marry' before, but she thought she could guess at its meaning. "Then what should you worry for?" she asked. "I should think that you would solve that problem, rather than complicate it." When he only looked at her in confusion, she elaborated, "If Cloud has Tifa, then Aeris can now turn to you, yes?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "She will not, and no one would ever approve of it." 

"How do you know she won't, and why should the opinions of others matter?" 

"Did no one tell you what I did to her? I was the one who killed her, Minerva. How could anyone who knows this stand to see her with me? They fear for her safety every time she is out of their sight. Fear that I may murder her again. And so do I. Gods, I don't want her to die again..." 

"I know you killed her," Minerva said quietly, her eyes lowered. "Jenova let me see that memory of yours... No, she forced me to watch it, through your eyes. I do not know what you were thinking then, but I know what you did." 

He stared at her. "You know... you _saw_... and yet, you still believe that... that we could be together?" 

She looked up to meet his gaze steadily. "Yes. You are not the same as you were then. Even should you lose your grip, I would not worry. You were nearly gone in the lab, I know, and it was Aeris who brought you back to sanity. No doubt it was her absence, as well as Jenova's voice, that brought you to the edge. So logically, the closer you are to her, the safer she will be from you." 

For a long moment he was silent, studying her, and at last he turned away. "You know a great deal more than anyone thinks you do." 

"Indeed," she replied. "But I keep it to myself. Most of it, no one should ever know, so the knowledge will die with me should I ever die." 

"If Jenova can be killed, then there is death--real death--for us as well, isn't there?" 

Minerva nodded. "But how does one kill Jenova?" 

_You cannot_, Jenova spat suddenly. _You are both fools to think that you can. My offer still stands, daughter. Take it while you can. _

And what offer might that be? she scoffed. _I am free now. You've nothing to give me._

Sephiroth glanced at her, and she wondered if he had heard the brief exchange. "There must be a way," he said. "Why else does she sound so desperate?" 

Minerva nodded, choosing not to voice her doubts, and a long silence passed between them. Below them was a bustle of activity as villagers moved about setting up tables and chairs, making last minute decisions on how the night would play out and running such odd errands as were needed. 

"...Minerva?" 

"Yes?" 

"What happens if... if she does return my feelings?" 

"You are asking the wrong person. I do not know such things." 

Sephiroth sighed. "I suppose not. But I cannot speak of them to anyone else." 

"Have you no other friends here, besides Aeris?" she asked with some surprise. Even if he was hated and feared, with good reason, he seemed kind enough to her. 

Frowning, he shook his head slightly. "There is one who calls me her friend, and she has done much for my sake, but... she is too naïve for such talk. I suppose," he went on, "that I could talk to my mother. But I have only just met her, and I am not certain what to make of her..." 

"I did not know your mother was here," she remarked. 

"She had died, but Aeris brought her back, for Vincent's sake." 

Minerva studied him carefully. "It seems there is a long story behind this." 

"There is," he replied, avoiding her gaze, "but I am not the one to tell it." 

She slowly got to her feet, still watching him. "I should like to meet your mother. What does she look like?" 

"She was standing with Vincent by the gate," he said. "I am sure you noticed her." 

She remembered; the woman had shared their eyes. She glanced briefly at the preparations below. "Their celebration is tonight, you know. Do you plan on attending?" 

He hesitated. "Yes, I suppose. At the very least I shall watch, but I do not intend to enjoy myself." 

"I did not think you would," she replied, turning to go. He gave no reply, and she had not expected one. 

She made her way down from the observatory, keeping an eye out for Sephiroth's mother. The woman's name was Lucrecia, she thought. She had seen it mentioned once or twice in Hojo's files, never in any important context. On her way down, she saw Reno sitting with Elena and their tall friend--Rude?--on one of the landings, but she continued on without catching his attention. She would speak with him later. 

Minerva slowed to a stop on the last staircase, looking out over the dead Candle and the sort of square that surrounded it. People milled about aimlessly; most of the preparations had been completed, and they could only wait for the celebration to begin. A small group had gathered on the far side of the Candle, playing a haphazard sort of music with instruments that she could not name. It seemed they were practicing, but nevertheless she stood poised on the last step for a long moment, listening, before she went on. 

Walking along the line of shops, she finally turned her attention upward, to where a few more shops stood braced against the canyon wall, connected by a wooden walk with a railing. There she spotted Lucrecia leaning against the rail with Vincent beside her, no longer wearing his red cloak. 

She strode to the ladder leading up to this walkway and climbed it swiftly. Ladders and suspended platforms were quite familiar to her; those here reminded her of the reactor's maze of them, though here they held the warmth of reds and browns, and they were not nearly so lonely. 

Upon reaching the top, she hesitated. She did not know exactly how to address this woman, a stranger, let alone ask her anything of consequence. But while she stood there in uncertainty, Sephiroth's mother glanced in her direction and smiled warmly, beckoning with one hand. Vincent noticed the motion and turned to look. 

Though the woman's friendliness surprised her, Minerva went to join them as invited. 

"Hello," Lucrecia greeted. "I thought you looked a little lost, even more so than Vincent or Sephiroth when it comes to people." 

The girl nodded. "I am very awkward that way," she admitted. 

"So what brings you up here?" 

"You are Sephiroth's mother, yes? He mentioned you, and I wanted to meet you." She glanced uncertainly at Vincent. "I hope I am not interrupting anything." 

Lucrecia smiled and shook her head. "Vincent has just been telling me about all that I've missed for one reason or another. It can wait; I wanted to talk to you, too. You look an awful lot like my son." 

"Is there somewhere more... private?" Minerva asked, glancing uncomfortably at the open shop behind them. 

"Yes," the woman answered. "I have a room at the inn. Is that all right?" 

Minerva nodded silently. 

Straightening, Lucrecia gestured for her to follow and headed back along the walk to the ladder. With a glance at the mute Vincent that told him she did not mind his presence, Minerva followed. Sephiroth's mother led the both of them into the inn and down the hall to her room. Lucrecia and Vincent sat down on one of the beds, and after a moment, Minerva chose to sit opposite them. 

Noting the girl's hesitance, Lucrecia offered, "Why don't I answer your questions first?" 

She nodded gratefully. "To be honest, I know little about you. I've read many of Hojo's files, but they detail experimental results, not histories, and consequently they don't say much about you." 

The woman sighed, as though this would make her task very difficult. "How much do you know about the Jenova Project?" she asked. 

"Only how it was performed, not why." 

Lucrecia nodded. "It's hard, finding a way to begin this story. I suppose I should tell you that I was a scientist working alongside Hojo on the Project. It wasn't an easy position for a woman to get, especially a slums woman like me, but I worked hard and refused to be ignored, and eventually I was promoted to assistant to Professor Gast. That was also the day I met Vincent. He had been promoted as well--to the Turks. 

"A lot of things happened between then and the time that the Jenova Project truly began, but I need not go into detail. Vincent and I grew close, but then... Hojo was also a good friend of mine. He was human back then. Many didn't like him because of his temper, and he was fiercely possessive, but he was always kind to me. 

"Eventually, Shinra dispatched a team of scientists, myself included, to Nibelheim for the Jenova Project, and Vincent came with us as our guard. Professor Gast was the project leader, a gentle, forgetful man. Hojo and I were his assistants." 

Here she paused for a moment and shook her head. "Gast was to go down in the history books as the greatest scientist ever. Hojo would spend his entire life trying to outdo him and only end up remembered as a madman by a few dozen people. And me? I was all but forgotten. I don't even know what Shinra told what few friends and family I had..." 

Minerva knew not what to say to this, so she waited until Lucrecia took up her story again. 

"For a number of months, the Project had nothing to do with human experimentation. During that time, I grew closer both to Hojo and to Vincent, and after a time, Vincent asked me to marry him. I... I didn't know what to say, so I ran to Hojo." She lowered her head, and her lashes hid her eyes. "It was a harsher blow to Vincent than I ever would have wished, but he didn't let on. He stayed away from me, as though that was what I wanted, and maybe it was, for how could I face him again after that? 

"Everything seemed unreal... So when Hojo asked the same of me, I accepted. I thought, because we were both scientists and because he understood my dreams, he would be a better man for me. So I married him instead, became his wife, though I'm sure he could tell my heart was torn." 

She took a deep breath before continuing. "Only a few weeks after the wedding, we got word from President Shinra that it was all right to go ahead with human testing as soon as we found a willing subject. Hojo persuaded me that he and I could contribute to the experiment, so I..." 

Her head sank lower as she trailed off. Beside her, Vincent put his flesh arm around her, and she glanced up at him with an appreciative smile, finding then the strength to complete her tale. 

"So I gave up my unborn child to the Jenova Project," she said. "Hojo grew more and more obsessed with the Project, and harsher towards me. I saw then that I'd made a terrible mistake, but I thought that I couldn't go back, so I resigned myself to it, and my health failed as the child within me grew. When I gave birth to Sephiroth, they took him away from me, and from that day, my life ended." 

Lucrecia looked at Vincent with a smile and added, "Until now." 

Minerva considered this for a long moment, knowing that some reaction was expected of her. "It is not my place to pass judgment here," she said at last, "but I do not think either of you can be blamed." 

"Where do you fit into this, then, if you can't judge us?" 

The girl shifted, averting her gaze. "I am very much like your son, as you said. Hojo considered me his clone, but you need not know the details." 

"Well," Lucrecia said, looking her over, "you may be very similar, but I know I would prefer to think of you as siblings. And in a way, I suppose that makes you my daughter." 

"That would be fine with me," Minerva replied, bowing her head, though in truth it made her a little uneasy. She knew who her mother was. She did not need a false one. 

"If you don't mind my asking, why did Hojo... create you?" 

"To keep Sephiroth under control should he ever reacquire him." 

"Is that all?" 

"No," the girl answered, avoiding her gaze, "but I do not wish to mention the other reasons." 

Lucrecia nodded and smiled reassuringly. "Then we won't ask them of you." 

Minerva got to her feet. "Thank you." 

"Are you leaving?" Sephiroth's mother asked uncertainly. 

"Yes. I learned what I came for, and I have taken up enough of your time." 

"You can stay if you like," the woman offered. 

The girl shook her head. "No. There is... someone else I wish to speak to." 

Lucrecia nodded as though she understood, and Minerva left without another word. She stood in the hallway for a moment before she headed back to where she had seen Reno and his friends earlier, and she found them still there, talking amongst themselves. This time she did not walk past them but instead came to stand just inside the archway, not sure how one went about requesting another's company. 

Elena noticed her first and poked Reno in the side. 

He glared at her sharply. "What?" 

"Your girlfriend's here," she said coolly. "Just thought you oughta know." 

"She's not my girlfriend," he muttered, sounding as though he'd argued this point before. "That's an insult to her." At last he twisted to look at her. "Hey, Min. What's up?" 

She faltered. "I wanted to speak with you, if you do not mind the interruption." 

"Oh, sure," he replied, hopping to his feet. "It's not like we were talking about anything important." 

Minerva nodded, glancing briefly at his friends, who sat watching them. 

"See you guys later," Reno said to them. 

"Bye," Elena replied with an amusement that the redhead chose to ignore. 

Instead he grinned at Minerva and started past her and inside. She followed. Once they were out of his friends' hearing range, he stopped and shoved his hands in his pockets. "So what's on your mind?" 

She avoided his gaze and began walking again. She felt more at ease in motion, as though without it she was trapped. "I was curious about Lucrecia and Vincent," she said carefully, "so I went to talk to them." 

"So, was it really just curiosity, or was there something else?" Reno asked, walking along at her side. 

"I only wanted to see what Sephiroth's mother was like." 

"As opposed to yours?" 

"Both of us had Talya," Minerva stated. "Only recently did we meet Lucrecia, so it does not matter. And anyway... She told me that she would consider me her daughter." 

"I guess that's cool. You still have a mom that way." 

"Nn," she said, frowning. She glanced at him. "What was your mother like?" 

Reno shrugged. "She was a slums woman, and I was just another mouth to feed, so she was more than happy to kick me out of her house when I was old enough, meaning about ten. Can't say I blame her." 

"Good mothers seem in short supply," Minerva commented dryly. 

By this time they had reached the bottom of the stairs, and a few paces away were the crates where they had sat early that afternoon. "Why don't we sit down?" he suggested. 

"Of course," she agreed, and he led her to the crates, where they sat down. "Did you find an answer to my question?" she asked of him. 

He started, then nodded, not looking at her. "I think so." She waited, and after a moment he said, "I like you 'cause you don't label me. I know a lot of the time I'm just a womanizing bastard, but you've figured out that that's not all there is to it. I try to be serious with anyone else, and they laugh, but I know you won't. And then... for some reason, you seem to trust me, too. It's... a nice change." 

Minerva nodded, satisfied with his answer. "I think I understand. But, you must be aware that it is not in my nature to take things lightly." 

"I know," he replied, "but a lot of people who are like that don't put up with me. You don't seem to mind." 

She scoffed a little, but made no other response, and for a while Reno said nothing either. 

"I was wondering," he began awkwardly into the silence, "about your song--" 

"It meant nothing," she interrupted curtly, shooting him a look of warning. 

He frowned and put an arm around her shoulders, and though her muscles tensed in anticipation of a blow, there was something strangely comforting in the contact. "No, it meant something," he said. "And you know that. You felt like you'd hit bottom, didn't you? Come to a dead end and had nowhere else to go? I know what that feels like." He studied her face, and though her gaze was fixed on the ground, he seemed to see something. "You ever cry from it?" he asked. 

"No," she clipped, angry that he had seen into her like that, and yet at the same time, she... She could think of no word for it. It was a feeling that made her want to tell him things, secrets, but she could not do that, so she kept her mouth shut save for that one word. 

"Well," he said, releasing her. He sounded disappointed. "You're stronger than I'll ever be." 

"...you tried to defend me," she reminded him softly, keeping her eyes downcast. 

Reno snorted. "That, was sheer stupidity." 

"Does it not take strength to cast aside logic to defend someone who has fallen, even though you cannot fight her foe any better than she?" 

He stared at her for a long moment, but still she avoided his gaze. "Well, you stopped me. So I still owe you." 

Minerva looked up. "Owe me?" she wondered. "If you mean what little I did to ease your escape, you owe me nothing for that. I imprisoned you, and I created those obstacles. It is I who owes you. You..." Here she hesitated, then forged on. "You helped me to defy the Professor." 

"How did I help you with that?" he asked. "I just had a nightstick, that's all." 

She shook her head, frowning. "If you had not been there, I may have submitted." 

Reno ran a hand through his hair. "Could you explain that for me?" 

The girl lowered her gaze, not knowing why she found this hard to confess. "I knew that if I gave in then, that I would have to hurt you, and that was something I did not want to do because... because you were not afraid to show me kindness, as all those before you were." 

"...wow," he managed, grinning in embarrassment. "I mean... Hell, you make me sound nice." 

"You are," she told him earnestly. 

"And that," he declared triumphantly, "is why I like you." 

Music started abruptly, as if to punctuate this statement, and Minerva started in spite of herself, glancing towards its source. She could not see beyond the shop wall, but now she recalled the musicians who had been practicing earlier. 

"Looks like the party's starting," Reno commented, getting up to head over that way. Minerva stood to follow him, but her steps slowed when they stepped into the light of the setting sun. Noticing her distraction, Reno said, "You wanna watch it before we join in?" 

She nodded mutely, and he led her to the western edge of the canyon, where they sat down with their feet dangling over the edge. Though she had seen the sun set a handful of times before, the sight and the color still amazed her, and she could not help but stare. 

"Have you figured out how you felt about your mom?" Reno asked, startling her. 

She spared him the briefest of glances, then shook her head. "I... I need to speak to Sephiroth about her. He knows--knew--her much better than I ever did. I have realized, though, that there were a few things she did for me, but I never appreciated her 'kindness.'" 

"Things? Like what?" 

"She lied to me, thinking that I would prefer the pretense that I could leave the lab when I wished to knowing that I could not." 

"How long did you believe it?" 

"Until I attempted escape when I was six." 

"...hurt like a bitch?" 

Minerva nodded. 

Reno grimaced for her. "What else did she do?" 

"...she left me alone when she thought I wanted to be left alone." 

"But you didn't," he stated. 

"No." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Do not apologize for things that are not your fault," she told him harshly, and he did not reply. She watched the sun sink, red and swollen, behind another rise of the canyon, now silhouetted in black. The sky above was clear and empty, and the sun's color streaked upwards, still trying vainly to light the vastness even as it fell. But this was not its time. Its time was over, and soon the moon would come shyly to take its place, modest in its pale glory, accompanied by an array of stars. 

She climbed to her feet, and Reno stood with her. "Ready?" he asked. When she nodded, he led her towards the celebration. "Looks like Rude an' Elena've already staked out a table. Wanna go join 'em?" 

"If you wish," she replied indifferently. 

"All right then!" Reno exclaimed with a grin, and he started towards his friends, waving one arm in an overly-conspicuous greeting. Minerva followed a few paces behind him, shaking her head at his immaturity. But then, was that really something to scoff at?

* * *

Author's Notes  
And at long last, Katrina fulfills her purpose! Even before I knew this would become an AeriSeph, I knew that Katrina would have to help Seph after he got back from Hojo's lab. Weird, huh? In the original version of this scene, Katrina did leave him alone after he nearly killed her, but I felt it reflected better on her if she stayed, so I changed that. 

I also have to say that I really like the way Sephiroth and Minerva interact with one another, how they each ask advice of the other. I guess it sort of reminds me of me and my brother. We were never really close, but sometimes he'd confide in me rather than in anyone else. 

Anywho, in the original scene where Minerva meets Lucrecia, she ends up bringing Reno into it, essentially just to tie up a few loose ends, most notably the circumstances surrounding the death of Vincent's father. >> Yyyeah, very minor stuff, so I decided to take it out and shorten the scene in general. If anyone's curious, I had it so that Vinny's dad died because he was Wutai's strongest supporter among the Shinra execs, obviously not something that was appreciated. But as I said, very minor detail. 


	29. The Dance

**Chapter 28: The Dance**

Aeris sat on the edge of the bed, running a brush through her hair over and over. She couldn't remember the last time she had bothered to comb it through. Her eyes lay on a few sheets of paper on her nightstand that Vincent had left for her that morning. She had forgotten that she had asked him to tell her about her father, Professor Gast; that ocean voyage from Costa del Sol seemed like ages ago, even though it had not even been a week.

Her father, leader of the Jenova Project, researcher of the Ancients, world-renowned scientist... She remembered him from Vincent's nightmares as a kind, absent-minded man, more interested in the past than in the world in which he lived. He and Bugenhagen had been friends, and the machines here had been gifts from him. To think, he had wanted so badly to understand the Cetra that he had built a machine capable of hearing the cries of the Planet. But no more than that.

Coming out of her quiet reflection, Aeris ran the brush through her hair one last time, finding no knots, and finally set it down. She pulled back some of her hair into a ribbon, just to keep it out of her face, and smoothed her dress needlessly, wondering why she was so nervous.

Was it because _he_ might be there? she wondered. Would he run from her again if he saw her? Probably he would avoid the whole thing entirely, but she still hoped that she would find him there. And, for some reason, she wanted to look presentable for him.

Stepping out of her room, she closed the door behind her and turned to smile at Cloud, who stood waiting for her. Tifa had gone ahead to claim a table for them.

Cloud, like many of her friends, had bought himself new clothes in the earth tones common in Cosmo Canyon. He and Tifa had insisted on buying a few things for her as well, and that was how she had ended up with this strapless golden-yellow party dress. Though it left little exposed aside from her shoulders, it accounted for a good part of her nervousness.

"You look beautiful," Cloud told her with a shy smile.

She blushed faintly. "Thanks. Now, let's hurry and catch up with Tifa before she suspects something of us."

"Right," he said, frowning briefly. He shook his head and offered her his hand. "Come on."

Aeris took it with a smile, and the two made their way out of the inn and threaded through the tables to where Tifa was sitting, joined already by Nanaki. The Cetra made to take her seat next to him, but a fresh song was starting, and Cloud looked at her imploringly.

"Dance with me?"

She straightened, looked to Tifa for approval, and then turned back to him. "I would love to."

He led her out to join the other dancers and took her in his arms. Old, familiar feelings stirred inside her as they danced. Having him so close to her, his deep blue eyes gazing into hers, made her heart flutter. _No, no, no--!_ She couldn't get caught up in this again. Not again, and so when the music drew to a close, she felt something akin to relief.

She let go of Cloud's hand and smiled ruefully. "You should be dancing with Tifa."

"What about you?"

A thought occurred to her, and a mischievous quirk came to her lips. "I'll find another partner."

"All right," he conceded with some uncertainty. He hesitated before leaving her and joining Tifa.

With a skip in her step and a flutter of nervous excitement in her stomach, Aeris went to the edge of the firelight where the onlookers waited, watched, and talked amongst themselves. She walked past them into the shadows, scanning for Sephiroth. If he had come, this was where he would be.

She found him just around a corner, leaning against the wall with his arms folded across his chest, trying to remain unnoticed. She thought that he was watching her out of the corner of his eye, and his expression looked mildly anxious. What was he thinking? she wondered. What had he told himself since that night on the airship an eternity ago? But he was not running, so she assumed that was a good sign, and she smiled at him.

"What are you doing, hiding back here?" she asked.

"Staying out of the way," he replied. "What are _you_ doing here? I thought you would be dancing, or at least talking with your friends."

"I need a partner," she said.

Sephiroth shifted slightly and looked past her. "Reno should be about somewhere."

"Oh, he's busy trying to flirt with Minerva," Aeris laughed.

He scoffed. "Good luck to him."

"Well?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Well what?"

"Are you going to dance with me?"

An anxious frown came to his face, as though she had cornered him. "I don't know how," he said.

"It would take _you_ three seconds to learn, I'm sure. What's your real reason?"

He shifted uncomfortably and did not answer.

"You think it's ridiculous for someone of your reputation to be dancing at a party," she concluded, though she knew that was not his only reason.

"Yes."

"Well, that's no excuse," Aeris decided, taking hold of his arm and giving it a tug. "Come on."

"Aeris," he said in alarm, "I can't..."

"Why not? Why are you afraid of having a little fun?"

"It's ridiculous. I..."

She smiled encouragingly. "Just one dance. If you don't like it, you can come back to your corner and hide. I won't mind. But won't you at least try it? Please?"

"But, Aeris, you... I..."

She regarded him more seriously for a moment. "If you're still worried about what happened the last time we were together, don't be. You didn't do anything wrong, and it hasn't hurt me. I just..." She shook her head and smiled. "It's all right, okay? It was... sweet."

He averted his gaze. "I am sorry for running from you," he said. "I... heard it upset you."

"No, it's all right," she assured him. "No one ever taught you how to deal with these emotions, so naturally you'd be afraid of them. Now, will you be a gentleman and dance with me?"

Sephiroth sighed heavily. "If you insist. But only once."

Satisfied with that small victory, Aeris led him by the arm through the crowd, smiling in response to all the stares she received. They reached the dance floor just as a song was ending, and she turned to face Sephiroth, suddenly feeling a little hesitant herself. She smiled sheepishly as she stepped closer and put his hand around her waist. Being so close to him made her oddly nervous, even a little giddy.

_And when was the last time you felt like that, Aeris?_

Memories of a gondola ride and brightly-colored fireworks came to mind, but she quickly shook her head and looked up at Sephiroth. He was not looking at her, but instead had turned to study the crowd as though she were not there.

She took up his other hand and waited for the music to begin. "You're supposed to lead, but--"

"I know," he interrupted. "I have been watching."

The band started up again with a moderately-paced tune, and Sephiroth watched the other dancers for a time before he began to step tentatively in time with the music.

"I never thought the Great Sephiroth would take such tiny steps," Aeris remarked. He only looked more uncomfortable, and she almost apologized, but decided against it. "If you're going to be half-hearted about it," she said, "you may as well stop now."

Sephiroth stood still and dropped his gaze, his hand sliding from her waist. He glanced briefly at their joined hands. "Sorry," he muttered.

Aeris clasped his hand in both of hers and peered up into his face. "You're such a quick learner, I bet you could be a wonderful dancer if you put any effort into it. Stop thinking about what everyone else might think, only what you want."

"It isn't about what I want or don't want," he stated.

"Isn't it?"

"I can't..."

She brushed back the hair that had fallen to hide his face and smiled at him. "The only one holding you back is yourself. Let go. Enjoy yourself."

Sephiroth met her gaze and shook his head helplessly. "I shall try."

"That's more like it," she replied, reaching for his other hand to put it back around her waist. They began the dance again, Sephiroth still awkward but gaining confidence, and she was willing to wait so long as he was willing to try.

* * *

"This is your first party ever, isn't it?" Reno asked of Minerva, who sat on his right. Rude was to his left, Elena across from him, and Reeve on Minerva's right. They'd finally gotten past the obligatory introductions and brief backstories, and now they could relax, though the girl beside him did not. He figured relaxation was new to her, like a million other things, because she always appeared alert and ready. 

"Yes," she replied simply.

He shook his head, finding it a hard concept to get his head around. "That must've sucked," he concluded. "Barely having any contact with other people like that."

She nodded slightly, her attention focused on the dancers past his shoulder.

"Yeah, that's definitely gotta suck," Elena remarked sardonically. "Stuck in a lab with no Reno around. Oh, the horror."

Minerva turned to frown at her, but made no comment.

"You should have some fun," Reno told her, ignoring his blond friend. "Make it a memorable night and all."

"Simply being out of the lab is memorable enough for me."

He shrugged. "Suit yourself. Me, I'd normally be out dancing or something, but..."

"But what?"

"But Reno thinks you're cute and wants you in his bed," Elena replied, cutting Reno off.

He would have denied it, but it was partially true. Partially. "So what if I do?" he demanded. "You're just jealous 'cause you don't have anything even remotely resembling a boyfriend."

She lifted her head to look down on him. "Unlike you, I'm not obsessed with the opposite sex."

"Nah, you're just pining after a dead guy who never even--"

"Reno," Rude interrupted quietly, and that was all he needed to say.

The redhead shot him a glare and muttered under his breath, "My best friend, always sticking up for _her_."

"Hey, no hard feelings, Reno," Reeve said amicably. "It's just that none of us like it when you talk about Tseng like that."

"Why should it matter what I say? He doesn't care. He's dead."

Elena flinched. "Reno--"

"He's _dead_," he repeated more forcefully. "And he ain't comin' back. So get the hell over it."

"But Sephiroth said--"

"Sephiroth?" Reno scoffed. "You're going to rely on _Sephiroth_ to bring him back?"

She glowered at him and opened her mouth to speak.

"How long as it been?" Minerva cut in before they could come to blows.

"What?" the blond asked, blinking.

"Since his death."

"About five years now..."

"Then it may be possible," the girl said. "But don't get your hopes up."

"Right," Elena said, but her smile gave away her thoughts, and Reno rolled his eyes.

"Of course she'll get her hopes up," he said.

Her smile reverted to a frown, though her words lacked their usual spite. "Oh, Reno, keep your nose out of my business and go back to courting Minerva or something."

He was about to make some retort when Minerva caught his eye and shook her head. Instead he only exhaled and turned back to her. "So where were we anyway, before Laney decided to interrupt?"

"You were going to tell me why you aren't dancing," the girl replied without hesitation.

"Well, I was _gonna_ say that it was because you were such good company, but now that just sounds kinda lame."

Minerva raised her eyebrows skeptically. "You mean you prefer my company to enjoying yourself?"

"Who says I'm not enjoying myself with you?"

Elena snorted and got to her feet, loudly scraping back her chair. "Hey, Reeve, you wanna go dance or something? Mr. Romeo over there is getting on my nerves."

"I don't know how," he protested weakly.

"Neither do I," she replied, walking over to tug on his arm. "Come on, we'll learn." Reeve gave in with a sigh, and Elena led him out to the dance floor.

"She certainly does not seem to like you," Minerva commented.

Reno shrugged. "Yeah, she's like a sister or something."

She raised an eyebrow. "A sister?"

He nodded, looking back at her. "Yeah. Like a bratty, annoying, younger sister."

"I see."

"Anyway," he went on, shifting in his chair. "I think I might go looking for Aeris and see if she wants to dance once or twice. Would you mind?"

Minerva shook her head. "But, she already has a partner."

He blinked. "Who, Cloud?"

"Sephiroth."

"What? You're kidding!"

Minerva made a slight gesture to point them out. "See for yourself."

Twisting around to look, Reno had to gape for a minute. "Now that may be the strangest sight I've ever seen."

"Why is it so odd? There are many other people dancing. Should it be so strange for him?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, you don't expect someone who's so antisocial to go out onto a dance floor; you have to get pretty close. How the hell did she get him out there?"

"Is it not obvious?"

"Huh?" Reno turned back to face her. "What do you mean?"

"Can you not tell how much she means to him? He would do anything for her."

The redhead snorted. "Sephiroth? Care about someone?"

"Yes. You cannot see it?"

"Nope. I guess I don't spend enough quality time with him, huh?"

Minerva only shrugged.

He fell silent for a while, watching Aeris and Sephiroth. At length he turned to Minerva and leaned forward. "So, since Aeris is taken and you don't think there's anything weird about it, do you wanna dance?"

She blinked in startlement. "Me?"

"Yeah, you."

"What would you want to dance with me for? Surely there are other girls who are more preferable."

"Aw, don't dis yourself like that," he said with a grin. "You're the prettiest girl here. Why wouldn't I wanna dance with you?"

Minerva's gaze remained skeptical. "I was not referring to my appearance, though I doubt your words have much truth to them."

"What, then? I like your personality just fine, and if you're worried about not knowing how, I can teach you, easy."

"Reno, she is just as antisocial as Sephiroth," Rude reminded him softly. With any other person being so silent, the redhead might have forgotten his presence, but he was used to having Rude around, so the odd comment never fazed him.

"Aw, c'mon," he said, "I was just asking. So, Min, what do ya say?"

"I... I don't know."

"Now you're just stalling," Reno stated, getting to his feet. "Come on, get up."

"If she doesn't want to, there's no point in making her," Rude persisted, watching.

"But she hasn't said no yet!" the redhead protested.

"Reno..." Minerva began, but then she sighed and shook her head. "All right."

He extended a hand as she stood, but she did not take it. Shrugging, Reno turned and led her out onto the dance floor. The song was drawing to a close, so he waited, catching Aeris's eye as the music ended. Leading Sephiroth by the hand, she came over to them, shaking her head while Reno grinned triumphantly.

Sephiroth looked amused. "You got dragged out here, too, did you?" he asked Minerva.

"So it seems," she replied dryly.

"Don't worry," said Aeris. "He enjoyed himself, didn't you, Sephiroth?"

The swordsman nodded, though he dropped his head in embarrassment.

"How about one more dance?" she asked, as though oblivious to her small audience.

"As many as you like," he replied, and she led him back to a more open space with a parting glance at Reno and Minerva.

"So weird," Reno muttered, shaking his head.

"I told you he would do anything for her."

"That's why _he_ accepted. Why're _you_ out here?"

"To let discomfort defeat me would be weakness," she stated.

"Well," he said, trying to hide his disappointment in a grin. "Time to see if you like this as much as the Great Sephiroth over there." He took up one of her hands, and pulled her close, glancing at her face to see how she was reacting. Her expression was as calm as usual, but she felt very tense.

"Hey, relax," he told her, though he had never known her to relax. "There's nothing to be afraid of; I won't bite."

"I cannot help it," she replied, her tone faintly apologetic.

"Oh."

The music started up again, and he tried to dance with her as he would with any other girl. She wouldn't want him to change for her, and she kept in step with him perfectly, picking up on everything immediately. But her muscles remained tense, and her face expressionless, and eventually his steps slowed to a near halt. "You don't like it?" he asked.

She blinked. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Well, you're not smiling."

"Am I supposed to?"

Reno laughed, relieved and amused. "That's what most people do when they're having fun!"

Minerva looked a little sheepish, but even now no smile came to her face. He guessed that it would take some time to coax one from her.

At the conclusion of the song, he walked with Minerva back to their table and ordered a beer. Elena, who had returned with Reeve, rolled her eyes as soon as the words came out of his mouth, but he only grinned at her.

"Beer?" Minerva wondered when a waitress brought him the requested drink.

"Yeah," he replied, taking a swig. "Haven't left a party sober since I was a kid."

"I don't understand..."

"That's right, I guess you've never had beer before," he said with a laugh. "Well... See, it gives you a real high, but you drink too much and you get drunk, and then you really can't think straight and do a lot of stupid things... heh..."

"I take it you have gotten 'drunk' on several occasions."

"A lot of occasions is more like it," Elena put in. "And he's done some _very_ stupid things."

"Hey, I've spent most of my adult life drunk off my ass, and somehow I've managed not to get myself killed yet, so they couldn't've been all that stupid."

"Maybe, but you've had some close calls."

"Pfft, I've had just as many when I've been sober. I mean, the whole episode with Hojo was pretty crazy. I'm just lucky I had Min to get me out of it."

Elena rolled her eyes, but he glanced at Minerva and found on her lips the hint of a smile.

* * *

"I don't like it," Cloud muttered, his eyes following Aeris and Sephiroth on the dance floor. The sight of her in his arms put him on edge and brought a growl to his throat. 

Tifa, sitting beside him, shook her head in spite of the frown on her face. "What are you going to do, Cloud? You can't keep them apart."

"I know," he sighed. "But... I don't understand it. He _killed_ her. How can she stand to be so close to him, let alone enjoy it?"

"She knows him better than anyone else," she pointed out. "Maybe she found something beyond his coldness that's to her liking. She really does seem to care a lot about him."

"And what about him?" he asked sharply.

"I think the Great Sephiroth has a crush on her," Yuffie said, plunking down beside Tifa with a grin.

Cloud glanced at her with a raised eyebrow. "Sephiroth? You've _got_ to be kidding me."

"You can't tell?" the ninja asked. "I mean, look at him. He's _blushing_ over there."

He looked back at the pair, and sure enough, the swordsman did look rather embarrassed. Cloud's frown deepened. The thought of them as a couple troubled him even more.

Tifa put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Cloud, lighten up. He's different now; I'm sure he won't do anything to hurt her, and anyway, she can protect herself better than we can. Besides," she added with a smile, "we're at a party. Have a little fun."

Cloud sighed and situated himself so that he no longer had a clear view of the dancers. "You're right," he said. "I'm being overprotective..."

"Yeah, Cloud," Yuffie chimed in. "You'd think you were her big brother or something."

He grinned sheepishly, but did not reply.

The ninja got to her feet, and he noticed for the first time that she wore a distinctly Wutain outfit, though it looked meant for a boy and not a woman. "Hey, Tifa," Yuffie said, smiling broadly and extending a hand in mock formality. "May I have this dance?"

Tifa bit back a laugh, replying, "Certainly, but why aren't you asking Cloud?"

"He's not done being moody yet, so I'll pass on that," she replied. "Besides, I'm not used to dancing the girl's part, and I doubt Red can do either of them."

This time Tifa did laugh, and, taking Yuffie's outstretched hand, she followed her out to join the other dancers. Cloud watched them for a few minutes, then turned to Nanaki. "What do you make of it?" he asked, knowing his friend would understand that his train of thought had never changed.

"I think they may be a better match than you realize," he replied simply.

"How can you say that? A murderer and his victim?"

Nanaki shook his head. "He knows better than anyone what it is like to be different, and Aeris needs someone who can understand that, someone whom she isn't afraid to confide in because he will accept all her words without laughing." He paused and then added, "That is not to say that you could not have done the same, but I believe Sephiroth, perhaps, can truly understand her."

Cloud nodded grudgingly, not liking the comparison between Sephiroth and himself. He turned to look out at the dancers, but could no longer find Sephiroth and Aeris among them. He wasn't sure whether this was to his relief or his anxiety, and he turned back to Nanaki with a sigh.

"How much longer do you plan on staying?" the feline asked, apparently trying to change topics.

"Have you heard about Sephiroth's plan to go after Jenova?"

"Yes, I have. Did you plan on aiding him?"

"He said Aeris was going to help him, and..." Cloud trailed off, frowning. "Even if she is supposed to be stronger because she's a Cetra, I still want to protect her, in case her magic fails her or something..."

Nanaki nodded. "I believe it would be wise to gather everyone together tomorrow to discuss both the recent events and Sephiroth's plans, so that everyone knows what is going on and can decide where they are going from here."

"Right again," he said, managing a smile. "What would we do without you, Nanaki?"

"Without me," he replied with a cat-like smirk, "you would never have gotten past the front gate."

"True, true..."

Tifa and Yuffie returned from their dance, all smiles and laughter, and while Tifa sat back down, Yuffie walked over to Nanaki. "Would _you_ like to dance, Red?" she asked, barely containing a fit of giggles. Cloud glanced at Tifa with a raised eyebrow, wondering if she had something to do with this, but she only grinned.

Nanaki regarded the ninja with a mixture of amusement and incredulity. "Yuffie, you know that being a quadruped restricts me from such activities."

"What about that time you had to disguise yourself as a Shinra soldier?" she demanded. "You managed to walk around on two legs then."

He tossed his mane uncomfortably. "I would prefer not to make a fool of myself. If you wish to dance, ask someone with two legs."

"But I wanna dance with _you_," she replied earnestly. "And if anyone laughs, I'll... hurt them, or something." She made a few punches in the air, as if to demonstrate what she would do.

This seemed to amuse him, and he snorted a little, hopping off his bench. "Very well then. But you'll have to teach me. And try not to step on my paws."

With a triumphant grin, Yuffie headed back out to the dance floor with Nanaki at her heels. Cloud twisted to watch them, seeing the ninja take up Nanaki's front paws in her hands and offer instructions. The people around them laughed, but with the two rather than at them. Yuffie shook her fist at them even as she grinned.

Shaking his head, Cloud turned back to Tifa with a smirk on his face.

"Watch it, Cloud," she warned, suppressing a smile herself. "Or Yuffie might beat you up for laughing."

"Now there's a frightening thought," he said, not the least bit intimidated.

Tifa leaned back in her chair. "Those two never used to get along, and now it seems like they're best friends."

He shrugged. "Yuffie's changed since then."

"You're right. And maybe Nanaki thinks of her pranks more fondly now that it's been so long."

"Yeah."

She looked over at him. "So how are you doing?" she asked, and he knew exactly what she meant.

"All right, I guess. But I can't stand the thought of them... _together_."

"When I talked to Aeris the other night, she said they were just friends, but... I don't know. Did Sephiroth say anything?"

Cloud frowned. "He said he cared about her, yeah. He also said he didn't know what she saw in him."

"I don't know either, but then, I haven't spent any time with him whatsoever, so of course I wouldn't. And it's the same with you."

"Nanaki and Yuffie seem to think they make a good couple," he remarked flatly.

"Well, I don't know about Yuffie's judgment," she admitted, "but Nanaki should know what he's talking about."

"I guess," he admitted reluctantly. "But... anyone would be better than Sephiroth. Hell, I'd even put up with Reno! But not _him_."

"Cloud," Tifa said gently, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know you don't like him. Neither do I. You're probably even jealous of him. But Aeris is fond of him, and that means there must be something good in him. We may not like it, but it's not our job to protect her, and griping about it won't do anyone any good."

Jealous? he wondered. Was he jealous of Sephiroth? No. ...maybe. Yes. Aeris spent more time with his enemy than she did with him. Only, Sephiroth was no longer his enemy. What was he now? A rival? _But you're married_, he reminded himself. _Fool, you're still in love with Aeris. Tifa, I'm sorry..._ Cloud sighed heavily and said aloud, "I want her to be happy, but I want her to be safe, too."

Tifa smiled reassuringly. "She'll be fine. Aeris is stronger than we are now. And anyway, Sephiroth couldn't deceive her like this. He wouldn't bring her back only to murder her again. He wouldn't put up a false front for this long just to kill her. It's not like him."

"You're right," he admitted, lowering his head. "But... I _am_ jealous. I shouldn't be, but I am. I'm so sorry, Tifa."

She put a strong arm around him and lifted his head with her other hand. "It's all right, Cloud. I know you can't help the way you feel. I don't blame you for anything because you're doing what I wasn't strong enough to do. Maybe you'll never stop loving her; I don't know. But I'll love you anyway."

"Tifa, I..."

Yuffie's laughter startled the two from their conversation, and Tifa even pulled back a little. The ninja flopped down in her chair while Nanaki settled back down on his bench. Yuffie looked over at them, her lips quirking. "Sorry, guys. Did we interrupt something?"

Tifa gave her a faltering smile and shook her head. "No, Yuffie, you didn't interrupt anything."

"Right," the ninja said doubtfully.

"Tifa," Cloud murmured, standing slowly, "would you like to dance?"

She took his hand, smiling genuinely. "I'd love to."

* * *

Most people had already gone to the party, but Vincent and Lucrecia had been in no rush to go anywhere. He now stood waiting outside the room at the inn for her to get ready. Even if they were together now, even if she hadn't asked him for the privacy, he had felt uncomfortable with staying. Many walls still existed between them. Breaking them down would take time. 

At last the knob turned, and Lucrecia emerged from the room. She wore a simple white dress which he had bought for her, and she had let her hair down. Honestly, he could scarcely remember seeing her with her hair down, and the smile on her face told him that she knew that.

"You look more beautiful than ever," he managed, trying to return that smile.

"Thank you," she said quietly, stepping close to him and reaching up to brush back his hair. He bent down closer, and she tied it back for him. "There," she said, lowering her hands as he straightened. She took him by his flash hand, and they went outside to join the celebration.

A number of tables were spread out around the Candle's platform, leaving ample space around it for a dance area, and a small group of musicians, mostly percussionists, sat in the shadows, beyond the light of the torches that had been spread about. Most of the tables had already been claimed, though some empty seats remained, and a number of villagers were stuck on their feet. Not that it seemed to bother them; they wove their way amongst the tables, talking to various friends, went frequently to the dance floor, or paid visits to the shops that had stayed open.

Katrina's waving caught his eye, and with a glance at Lucrecia, he wove through the crowd to join her. She was sitting with a laid-back Cid on her right and a pensive Miera to her left; a motley crew, certainly.

"Hi, guys," Katrina greeted brightly.

"Hello," Lucrecia replied, turning her gaze to Cid, whom she had not met before. "I'm Lucrecia."

"Yeah, hey," he said casually. "I'm Cid Highwind."

She nodded. "Cid Highwind... You pilot the airship, don't you? Vincent's told me about you."

"Wow, I didn't think Vincent talked about anyone much, let alone me."

Vincent raised an eyebrow at Cid as he pulled out a chair for Lucrecia. She sat, offering him a smile in thanks, and he took his own seat beside her.

"Well," said Lucrecia, "I asked him to tell me about all of you so I wouldn't feel so lost. You've been through so much together, it seems."

"I guess you could say that. A month doesn't sound like long, but it felt like it."

"A lot can happen in a month," she agreed.

"So where've _you_ been all this time?"

"Dead," she replied. "Or close to it."

"Ah," he said, nodding sagely. "You're one o' _those_ people. Right, didn't Aeris say she brought you back?"

Lucrecia nodded. "That's right."

"And you're Vince's girlfriend." He laughed at this. "Vincent with a girlfriend! I never thought I'd see the day."

"Do _you_ have a girlfriend, Cid?" Katrina prompted.

He scratched his head in embarrassment, his laughter dying. "Sort of, I guess."

Lucrecia raised an eyebrow. "'Sort of'? What does the lady think?"

"Hell, I don't know. I haven't asked."

"I don't know how Shera puts up with him," Vincent said aside to Lucrecia.

"Hey!" Cid protested. "I don't treat 'er like I used to."

"And how do you treat her now?" he wondered.

"Less smoking, less cursing, and I get my own goddamn tea."

Lucrecia laughed. "I don't think I want to know how much you used to curse."

"Must've been a lot," Katrina put in.

"Fuck yeah," Cid agreed, grinning.

"Two-legged things are so strange," Miera said absently, speaking for the first time. Her eyes were on the dancers. "Hurting the ones they love."

The pilot snorted. "Whatever."

Lucrecia tilted her head curiously. "You think Sephiroth and Aeris do that, too?" she wondered.

"Sometimes," the feline replied. "Without meaning to now perhaps, but yes, they do. And you and Vincent do as well."

She smiled in rueful acknowledgment. "I suppose we do."

"Enough of this painful shit," Cid declared. "Don't you people have anything cheerful to talk about?"

"I should think Sephiroth and Aeris to be a cheerful enough topic," Miera said.

"Those two? More like frightening. But hey, if Aeris wants to dance with her murderer, I guess that makes 'em a perfect couple."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, then they're both crazy."

"Cid," Lucrecia said in admonishment, "neither of them is crazy." She paused, eyes shifting towards the crowded dance floor. Vincent followed her gaze as she smiled and saw that Aeris was indeed dancing with Sephiroth. "...but I do think they're a perfect couple," she finished.

"Seriously?" the pilot asked incredulously.

She nodded. "I couldn't explain without taking forever, and I doubt you care that much, especially if you speak of such a thing so lightly."

He ran a hand through his messy blond hair and said nothing.

"On a lighter note," she went on, a smile slowly spreading across her face as she stood and turned to Vincent. "I haven't danced in ages, and look! Here is my chance. Come, Vincent, let me teach you how." She took up his arm and gave it a tug.

"Lucrecia..." he began hesitantly.

Cid's rough laughter interrupted him. "Don't tell me Vincent's shy!"

"Well, he is," Lucrecia told him patiently. "And I wouldn't have him any other way. Now, come, dear, there's nothing to be afraid of. You should know I don't bite."

He stood with a nod and followed her away from the tables, the digits of his metal claw twitching anxiously, as though he did not know what to do with the limb. Lucrecia soon solved his problem by placing his flesh hand at her waist and taking up the metal hand. She treated it carefully so as not to cut herself, but the gesture made it clear that she refused to forsake any part of him, even one so crude and artificial.

Vincent appreciated the sentiment, but he had reservations about touching her with his claw. Still, if she could forgive all his mistakes and not call them sins, then she could accept what he had become, and he would do his best to seem worthy.

So he smiled at her.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Firstly, Reno so. much. fun. I love writing the boy. 

Not too many changes to this part, aside from chronology. Boy, did I suck at chronology when I first wrote this. I just typed up the stuff as it came to me without giving much thought as to when each scene happened in relation to the others. The first thing I did when I started the rewrite was make a list of all the scenes (roughly 200 of them before I made the cuts), decide when exactly they happened, and rearrange them accordingly. Afterwards, I took a very long break from the whole affair. :P Most of the actual editing was done between December of 2004 and May of this year. Phew!


	30. By Your Hand

**Chapter 29: By Your Hand**

Sephiroth risked a glance at Aeris's face as they danced. She met his gaze with an encouraging smile, and he did not look away again. She looked beautiful, as always, especially so in this strapless golden dress. The curve of her neck and along her shoulder fascinated him for a moment before he scolded himself and shifted his gaze to the side. 

The dancers around them wore smiles on their faces and looked much more at ease than he felt, though he admitted he was considerably more relaxed than when Aeris had first dragged him here. Being with her made him slightly nervous, but now even he was certain he could not hurt her. He only felt slightly ashamed and guilty because he could not be as carefree as she would have liked. 

The current song was drawing to a close, he noted, not certain whether he felt relief or disappointment. He felt a strange pleasure at having Aeris so close, at feeling her warmth even through his clothing and his gloved hands. And yet, the contact put him on edge, as it always had. Physical contact had always meant pain, until now, and it was difficult to convince his body that this was any different. 

He released her as the music ended, lowering his hand to his side. She held onto his other, and curtsied with an amused smile on her face. "Thank you for this dance," she said politely, then straightened and led him out of the crowd, back to the secluded corner he had occupied before. There, she stopped and let go his hand, though she did not leave. 

"Was there something more you wanted?" he asked uncertainly. 

She turned to face him, eyes searching. "I... I wanted to apologize. Because I don't know how I feel exactly..." 

Sephiroth studied her with mild confusion. How she felt about _what_, exactly? And how could she be unsure of her own emotions when she understood those of others with such clarity? "What do you mean?" 

Her gaze lowered until her lashes hid her eyes. "I mean... how I feel about you." 

What was that supposed to mean? Was she finally doubting whether or not she should like him at all? Or perhaps her old fears were returning. Or she did not truly mean what she had said before, about the... He shook his head slightly, frowning. "I don't understand." 

Lifting her head with some effort, she met his questioning stare. "Well... You know, don't you? You've known it since the lab, maybe even before then. You know... how much you care about me. But, I'm not so sure, whether you're just a friend, or..." 

He could not help but stare at her in amazement. Did she actually mean that she might...? And she knew that he... Well, he supposed it was obvious. He had certainly hinted at it enough without really meaning to. _And still, neither of you will actually say it aloud._ No, perhaps the words were too hard to say, even if she already knew. The words made it final. They were irretrievable. Once said, they could not be taken back without pain inflicted. 

But, what of her feelings? She was in doubt, which mean that... that perhaps someone cared for him? He knew his mother cared, and Katrina, but Aeris's affection went deeper than theirs. But what would it mean if she did...? What happened then? He had no answer to that. He had never imagined himself in such a position, or considered there being someone in her position. 

And if she didn't care for him that way? Then nothing changed. Which was fine with him. 

Realizing he had been gaping at her for some time, he dropped his gaze and muttered an apology. 

She fidgeted. "Sephiroth...?" 

He shook his head and looked back at her. "Why you should be apologizing, I don't know. Whether you do or not, it makes little difference to me." He nearly winced at how that sounded and went on. "I mean to say, either way is fine. Take your time in sorting out your emotions. I don't mind. I just find it hard to believe that anyone could..." 

She seemed relieved at his response. "You shouldn't be surprised," she told him, "but I guess even friendship is foreign enough to you." 

Sephiroth nodded. 

"Enough of this deep talk," she declared with an ease that made him aware of how nervous and almost jittery she had seemed before. "I don't know any little trivia about you." 

"Trivia?" he wondered. 

"Your birthday, your favorite color, that sort of thing. But first let's find someplace to sit down..." 

He shook his head. "All the tables are occupied, and I doubt your friends would welcome me at theirs." 

"Then I suppose we'll just have to stand," Aeris decided, seeming a little disappointed. "Unless you don't mind sitting on the ground...?" 

He shrugged. 

"All right then," she said, seating herself on the ground and fussing with her skirt a bit. "Come on, sit down," she invited when she noticed he wasn't moving. "You're too tall." 

Sephiroth blinked, then sat down facing her. He recalled her saying that to him many years ago, when she had only been a child, and he wondered if she had remembered that. 

"So?" she prompted. 

"So what?" 

"When _is_ your birthday?" 

"I don't know," he answered honestly. 

"What do you mean, you don't know?" 

Sephiroth sighed and looked absently out at the crowd of people. "No one ever bothered to tell me. I'm scarcely even sure how old I am." 

"That's sad," Aeris said softly. 

He shook his head slightly. "Anyhow it hardly matters." 

"Well, I want to know," she insisted, offering him a smile. "I want to be able to say 'happy birthday' to you, maybe buy you something... Didn't Hojo's files say anything about it?" 

"He blacked out the dates on the files in the Shinra mansion," he replied, "and I would not trust those anyway. Minerva, however, she might know." He paused thoughtfully, then looked back at her. "What about you?" 

"February seventh," Aeris answered, and an expression of amusement came to her face. "Should I count the years that passed while I was dead, do you think? Am I twenty-seven, or still twenty-two?" 

He shook his head, suppressing a smirk. "I doubt it happens often enough for there to be a rule, really. I suppose I'm either twenty-five or thirty-five, give or take a few years. However you like it." 

"Well, technically I haven't aged, and I like that idea better. That way you're only three years older than me." 

"Why should that matter?" 

"I don't know," she admitted. "I guess it's just one less reason for my mom to hate you." 

He raised an eyebrow. "What difference does age make next to all I've done?" 

"You don't know my mom," was all she told him. 

The music faded away, and the crowd's din fell to a murmur, and eventually people hushed each other into a silence. 

Sephiroth exchanged glances with Aeris, but she did not seem to know what was going on. He got to his feet, helping her up with him, and looked over the heads of the crowd towards the Candle's platform, where Nanaki now sat, looking every part the leader. Sephiroth turned to describe this in a low murmur to the Cetra beside him, who, even craning her neck and standing on tiptoe, could not see beyond those in front of her. The thought crossed his mind to lift her up, but he hurriedly dismissed it. 

"I am sure most of you have heard vague explanations for the reasons behind this ceremony," Nanaki began, "and I am sure you are all curious. We will finally relight the Candle tonight, but first there is a story I would like to tell. 

"It is common knowledge among all of us that it was Sephiroth who called Meteor to this Planet five years ago, and that it was Sephiroth whom I helped to defeat. When he came to our village a week ago, we all felt uneasy, because very few of us knew his reasons, or his origins. Knowing them may set you at ease. 

"It began many years ago, when scientists from Shinra discovered the being known to the Cetra as the Crisis from the Sky, and to the rest of us as Jenova. They mistook her for a Cetra, and thus the Jenova Project was born out of a desire to create beings with the powers of the Cetra. And the product of that experiment? Sephiroth. 

"It may come as a shock to you that he, too, was a victim. For those of you who came to us from Midgar, or who have suffered losses at his hand, it may be unbelievable. But victim he was, and only one of the many who have suffered because of Professor Hojo. Miera and myself, you should know, are among them. 

"Perhaps you felt relief when you found Sephiroth gone from our home so soon after he had come, but in truth Hojo had once again taken him prisoner. He gave himself up in exchange for the safety of our dear friend Aeris. And so it was five days ago that my friends left to put an end to Hojo's cruelty, and it was that same night when they were defeated that the rains smothered our Candle. For those who wondered what disaster it foretold, I believe that was it. 

"But Aeris, herself the last of the Cetra, would not let this be. I went with her to Midgar to save our friends, and after a long night, we regrouped outside the city, having lost our weapons but gained a willing ally: Sephiroth. Once we had rested, he came with us to defeat Hojo. It was a hard battle to be sure, with moments of gripping doubt, but we made it through. Hojo is now dead, and none of us will have to suffer at his hand again." 

Here Nanaki paused, letting his words sink in and swishing his tail once. "So it is in honor of our victory that we waited until today, when we have all recovered from our wounds, to hold this ceremony and relight the Candle." 

He lifted his head and scanned the crowd before him with his one eye. "Bugenhagen once told me that it was tradition for a Cetra to light it when it was necessary. So if Aeris would be so kind..." 

Aeris gave a little start and glanced briefly at Sephiroth. "I guess this means I go up there," she whispered to him. 

He nodded, motioning for her to go on, and she hurried through the crowd with many a quiet 'excuse me' until at last she reached the Candle's platform. Nanaki brightened upon seeing her and shook his head slightly when she murmured a hurried apology. 

Hopping up the steps, Aeris joined Nanaki and looked out over the crowd with a nervous little smile. A few cheers and some clapping greeted her, and once they had quieted down again, she said, "I'm sorry to keep you all waiting. Nanaki didn't tell me." 

A few laughs and admonishments directed at Nanaki. Everyone seemed in a lighter mood now that Aeris had arrived, although the Cetra herself still seemed intimidated by the gathering. She glanced down at Nanaki, who said something encouraging in a low voice. 

Nodding, she turned back to the crowd. "...I may be considered the last of the Cetra now," she began with a slight falter, "but I hope it won't remain that way. And even more than that, I hope that no one ever has to light this fire again. This past century has been hard on the Planet, with threat after threat looming close, but I think at last all that is behind us. This age is drawing to a close, and a fresh one awaits us." 

The crowd applauded again, and Aeris turned to light the pile of wood with a burst of flame. The applause and cheering grew louder as the flames climbed higher and the Cosmo Candle burned brightly once again, its warm glow illuminating the faces of the onlookers. 

Aeris bowed her head and descended from the platform, Nanaki at her heels. As she made her way back through the crowd, people stepped aside for her, and at last she reached Sephiroth, wearing an eager smile. 

He managed to return it, glancing briefly at Nanaki. "The both of you did well," he said awkwardly, then looked back down at the guardian of Cosmo Canyon. "I am surprised you spoke so much of me." 

Nanaki tossed his head. "I thought it time that someone tried to clear your name. You are no longer the man they feared." 

Aeris knelt down to scratch him behind the ears. "You sounded like you make speeches every day," she told him. 

He shook his head, rubbing his muzzle with his paw in embarrassment. "You are only saying that. Besides, it was for you that they cheered." 

"Oh, they were just happy to have the Candle back," she insisted. "You made the better speech." 

Nanaki snorted a little and lifted his head to look at Sephiroth. There was a silence between them before the swordsman bowed his head. 

"Thank you again," he said. "It seems I owe you for many a thing." 

"Think nothing of it," the feline replied. "Yuffie tells me you will fight Jenova. I am sure that battle alone makes up for many wrong deeds, as Jenova is the cause of the Planet's greatest suffering. Should you succeed, and I have no doubt that you will, the Planet will thank you, despite what you have done, and the rest of us will, too." 

"I do not expect any praise, but I feel it my duty to destroy her." 

Nanaki nodded. "I thought so. Well, I should--" 

"Nanaki!" a little girl's voice exclaimed, and Kari squeezed past the last few people in her way. "Come tell us your story again!" 

"You go on then," Aeris told Nanaki with a fond smile. "Don't let us keep you from your adoring audience." 

He rubbed his face against her hand and then turned to Sephiroth, hesitantly nudging his leg with his muzzle before turning to pad off through the crowd. Kari waved cheerfully at Sephiroth before skipping after them. 

Aeris straightened, watching them go with that smile still on her face. 

"Neither of you mentioned the battle with Jenova to them," Sephiroth commented. 

"Why fill their minds with worry over that?" Aeris asked. "I'm sure we'll win, so there's no need to tell them of the danger in the first place. No need to weigh down their hearts. Let them be ignorant and carefree if they can." 

He nodded silently, watching the crowd. A few people watched them curiously, but most paid the pair no mind, busy with their own myriad forms of revelry. Indeed, they did seem ignorant and carefree, blithely caught up in their own lives, this plot involving mad scientists and the Crisis from the Sky all a distant tale, modern legend in the making, a story in which they held no part. 

"Why can't we be like them?" Aeris asked him softly. 

"Because of what we are," he answered, glancing at her. "The Planet meant us for greater deeds than they, and even these people would have us do great feats to improve their lives. Can't they see that they already have more than we do? And that what they have lost, we cannot give them?" 

She turned to him with a smile on her face. "They could never see what they have unless they lost it, and I wouldn't wish that on them. As for us... we can find comfort in their friendship, and healing in each other's, can't we?" 

"Aeris," he faltered, "I..." 

"Hush," she said, pressing a finger to his lips. "Don't start with that. You should know by now it isn't true." Moving her hand to rest against his face, she reached up to kiss him on the opposite cheek. "And anyway, I'd rather stay with you and die by your hand than live and never see you again." 

Sephiroth stared at her in disbelief. "You would rather..." he echoed. 

"Yes, I would," she answered. Turning away from him, she gestured at the crowd with a broad sweep of her hand. "You're not like them. You know what it's like to carry the fate of the world on your shoulders. They don't. And no matter how kind they are to me, no matter how much they love me, they can't understand that. It's frustrated me for all my life. No one would even believe me when I said that I could speak to my ancestors, or that I heard the Planet's song. 

"Not until I met Cloud. And even then, how could he ever comprehend it? It's beyond him, and I'm only deluding myself if I think otherwise. It's a capacity that humans have lost over the years, and it saddens me to see them so heedless of these voices. Even Professor Gast, my father, with all his machines and research, could never come close to understanding it." 

"But, Aeris," he said, shaking his head, "I don't hear the Planet either. I cannot hear the voices of the Cetra. There is only Jenova, and Minerva, and nothing more." 

She studied him for a long moment and then took him by the hand. "Come with me. I want to show you something." She led him through the crowd, away from the celebration, and on up the stairs into the canyon's inner passageways. At last he discerned what she intended, and when she faltered for the switch to open the door, he found it and pressed it for her. 

"Have you been in here then?" she asked. 

"Briefly," he replied, "and not very far." 

Without hesitation, she led him through the door and began her descent into the Gi Cave. Once they reached the bottom, she found his hand in the darkness and led him on through a number of twisting chambers, across lakes of blood, and at last through a crude doorway out into the open air. 

This, he realized, was a back entrance to the canyon, probably the reason why it had been closed off and grown infested with shades. The canyon walls rose high on either side, and at the top of the cliff stood a statue of one of Nanaki's kind, pierced with arrows and roaring defiantly. 

"That's Nanaki's father, Seto," Aeris said softly. "The Gi tribe came through here many years ago, and Seto alone held them back. He could never return to his family, though; their arrows turned him to stone." She pointed upward at the figure. "See?" 

He nodded, sparing the warrior a closer inspection. "But this is not what you wanted me to see," he stated, looking back at her. 

She shook her head and moved to sit down on a rocky outcrop. "The voice of the Planet is very strong here. Here, there are no people to drown it out with their noise, and the barrier between living and dead is blurred. Close your eyes and listen. Listen well. Tell me, can't you feel it? Hear it?" 

Sighing quietly, he did as he was bidden and closed his eyes. For a time there was silence, and then he began to hear Aeris's soft breathing, feel her attention on him. He shook his head minutely and pulled his attention from her, trying to recall what it felt like in the Lifestream and focusing on that instead. 

Yes, he'd been in the Lifestream many a time, hadn't he? Ten years of death had taught him well how to travel it, and he had delved back in a number of times in search of knowledge. He had spoken with the Cetra, even, though they had always been curt and fearful, and at the time he had not understood why. How had he forgotten that? 

He found his mind travelling that path again, searching for their words. He thought he heard them on the cusp of his hearing, but then there came a hush, as if none of them dared speak. 

_It's been some time since you called out to us_, a voice said finally. _When did you decide that you were a Cetra again? _

My daughter told him, another explained, and he recognized the speaker as Aeris's mother. 

_Did she now? She shouldn't have... He's not.-- _

But he is. The Planet said so. 

Him_? I won't stand for it, one of his kind, a Cetra, too? He's dangerous, this one. _

He's in love with Aeris, Aeris's mother cut in. _Do you think he would hurt her? He's come to us for reassurance, and look what you give him. Do you want him to doubt in himself? _

You and your daughter were always too reckless, I say. 

And all of you are too deeply rooted in your old fears. He may carry Jenova's cells, but he is not Jenova. If the Planet feels that he will come to its aid, then that should be enough to quell your fears. 

Frowning, Sephiroth pushed past these voices, searching for something more, something older and wiser and yet still young in the eyes of the universe... But he stumbled along the way, and could not reach it. He grasped at it, caught only the faint impression of a voice, a song, a crying, and then it was gone, and he could neither fully hear it, nor even come close to comprehending it. 

He withdrew from this confusing and sightless maze, opening his eyes to meet Aeris's gaze. 

"I told you so," she said with a confident smile. 

"I... I can hear the Cetra," he said, not wanting to disappoint her, "but the Planet's voice is beyond me." 

Her smile faded slightly, but then she shook her head and got to her feet. "That's better for you, I think. The Planet is often cryptic and confusing, and sometimes it invades my thoughts when it's suffering too much..." 

"You can feel its suffering as well then, can't you?" he asked. 

She nodded. "I'm used to it, though. I rarely even notice it now." She looked up at him. "I remembered that you told us you travelled the Lifestream. I thought then that it was because of Jenova, but she can't do that, can she?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I don't think so." Surprisingly, he found Jenova silent. 

"We're not exactly opposites then, are we?" she asked with a smile. 

He frowned. "Aeris, we may be alike in what we are, and what we have gone through because of it, but many things set us apart. We are both victims, true, but you are also a healer, while I am also a killer. You mend things; I only tear them apart." 

"You didn't used to be a killer," she said, "and you aren't a killer now. You saved Katrina's life, you saved Kari's life, you returned my life to me, and who knows how many you saved by ridding the world of Hojo? And yet you did all of these things without any guidance from me." 

"What are you getting at?" 

The Cetra stepped closer and laid a hand against his chest. "You're a healer, too. Tell me you don't have any desire to help anyone, and I'll tell you that's a lie." 

He looked down at her, down at her perfect face and her hair cascading down her back and her beautiful green eyes. "I want to help you, Aeris," he murmured finally. 

"Oh?" she queried in surprise. 

"You suffer, too," he told her. "You try not to show it, but I can't be the only one who notices." He sighed and dropped his gaze. "Only, I am not like you. I don't know how to comfort you, nor do I understand your pain." 

She lifted his chin with a finger, a smile on her lips and its rueful joy touching her eyes. "I hurt because those around me hurt, because I can't be with Cloud, because there are things still on this Planet with evil in their hearts, and I can't change them. There are some souls who are beyond my power, and it grieves me that they are. Hojo was beyond me, because I hated him, too. And that hatred was a pain in my heart. Surely these are things you can understand." 

He nodded slightly, gently taking her hand from his face. "Perhaps I can... But that does not make me a healer." 

"Understanding is half-way there," she told him. "Seeing beyond the hurt and pulling them out of it--that's the rest of it. And the harder part for you, because I know you were never optimistic." 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I was taught to be logical and, if anything, pessimistic. One does not win a war through optimism." 

"...one does so by being cold and calculating?" she wondered with a raised eyebrow. 

He said nothing. 

"You may still have a few enemies now, but you don't have to shut everyone out. You're not protecting them or yourself by doing so." 

"How am I protecting anyone by being close to them?" 

"You're close to me; would you let yourself hurt me? Would you let _anyone_ hurt me?" 

"No..." he answered with a frown. 

She smiled. "And don't worry about my heart. I'd rather have you close by than see you suffering alone. Anyway, you understand me, and that's a greater comfort than I've ever had." 

He nodded slowly, and that seemed enough for her. 

"Well," she decided, "maybe we should get back to the party before someone misses us." 

"They did not seem to notice us before," he pointed out. 

"True," she conceded, "but all the same, this isn't exactly a place we should be at any time. We ought to at least get out and close the door. If you want to stay away from the crowd, we'll find someplace else, how's that?" 

"Actually, I would not mind going back," Sephiroth confessed. "I rather liked the music." 

Aeris seemed surprised. "Oh?" 

"I suppose it runs in the family. Minerva can sing, and I believe my mother played the piano." 

She nodded thoughtfully. "How exactly... does Minerva relate to you? Do you know?" 

"No. But I have come to think of her as my sister." 

Another nod. "So what's your musical talent, then?" she asked playfully. 

"I really don't have one," he said with a shake of his head. "There was a piano in the Shinra mansion, and as a child I taught myself a little, but it hardly amounted to much." 

She leaned forward, peering up into his face with a hopeful little smile. "There's a little piano in Bugenhagen's old study," she said. "I don't know if it's in tune, but maybe..." 

He met her gaze, knowing what she wanted but not sure if he could consent. At last he said, "I don't know how much I can remember, but I will try if you wish." 

"Well, then let's get out of here." 

They walked together back through the Gi Cave, their pace swift though hardly from fear. Whatever creatures lived here--if that was the word for it--Sephiroth could kill them with ease, and he sensed that Aeris felt safe with him. It was a startling and pleasing sensation, her trust in him. 

Eventually they reached the exit and shut the door again behind them. From there Aeris took the lead, taking him into the observatory and showing him into a room on the right, where one of Bugenhagen's machines sat idle, a dim display of the sun and the planets hanging in the ceiling. 

"I suppose these machines are why they have the windmills," Sephiroth remarked. 

"Yes, I think so," the Cetra replied. 

Her light touch on his arm guided his attention to the small piano. For lack of a bench, they took a chair from the other room, and Sephiroth sat down upon it, lifting the dusty cover from the keys. He pressed one cautiously, testing the sound. It seemed loud to him in the silence, and he nearly flinched in spite of himself. 

"It sounds fine," Aeris assured him softly, leaning on the back of the chair. 

He laid his fingers across the keys with more confidence and began to play, remembering that one sad melody, that faint recollection of piano music echoing mournfully through the mansion that must surely have been only a dream. He glossed over the parts he could not remember, threading them together with hurriedly conceived bridges, but at last he came to the end of the memory and had to let the notes fall away. 

Aeris was silent for a long moment, and he shifted uncomfortably. Had he made some glaring mistake somewhere? Did she not like it? 

"That was beautiful," she whispered finally. "Where did you learn it from?" 

"An echo of a memory," he replied, shaking his head. 

"Hm," she murmured. She wrapped her arms loosely about him from behind, and he glanced back at her, only to turn away again at finding her face so close. "Before we go back to the party, I want to thank you for everything tonight, Sephiroth." 

"What have I done?" he asked in confusion. 

"Well, let's see," she said with laughter like music in her voice. "You danced with me for far longer than you ever agreed to, you've kept me company since, even followed me into that awful Gi Cave, and just now you played for me despite your insecurities. I think that merits a thank you." 

"You don't owe me any praise, after all you've done for me," he said. "I will forever be trying to repay you." 

She straightened and moved so he could see her smile. "Your company alone is reward enough," she assured him. "Now come on, let's go back down."

* * *

The night wore on, many more drinks were ordered, and even Minerva began to feel at ease among these people. People who, perhaps, she could come to call friends. Elena talked the most out of any of them, arguing loudly and frequently with Reno, and Reeve did his best as a peacemaker between them. Rude spoke even less than Minerva, though Reno always made an effort to include her in the conversation whereas everyone generally left their bald friend alone. 

By now Elena had declared Reno too drunk to hold an intelligent conversation, and so she had turned to Reeve, and the two of them were talking with Rude adding a word or two every now and then. Reno, meanwhile, was working on yet another mug of beer. Minerva had stopped trying to keep count and now had her eyes absently on the dancers. 

"Minerva," Reno slurred suddenly, grinning and leaning over to take one of her hands. "Will you marry me?" 

Her gaze snapped back to him in surprise, and then, smiling faintly, she took both his hands in hers and said gently, "Reno, perhaps you should try that question another day, with another girl--when you are sober." 

"Nah," he said, his grin broadening. "You're the only girl for me. You know that, right?" 

Shaking her head, Minerva reached over to take his mug away from him. It was nearly empty, but she felt quite certain that he needed to stop drinking before he did anything more foolish than ask _her_ to marry him. 

"Hey!" he protested, trying to snatch it back and nearly falling into her. 

"You'll have no more beer tonight," she said firmly. "It has done you enough harm." 

"Minerva," Elena said, with some awe underlying her joking tone, "I think you're the best thing that ever happened to him." 

The girl blinked and looked over at her questioningly. 

The blond smiled. "That is, of course, if you're willing to put up with him." 

"He has been kind to me," Minerva faltered. 

Elena nodded. "Then maybe it is different this time, like he said." 

"Hey, Min," Reno interrupted. "C'n I jus' finish that mug? Please?" 

"No." 

"Please?" he begged, moving closer. "I'll do whatever you wan'..." 

"What I want is for you to stop drinking," she said. 

With a sigh, he lay his head down on the table, watching her sideways. "Aight, no more drinkin'." 

Elena raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed. "Yep, I think he's serious about this one. He never gives up his beer this easy." 

"What do you mean exactly?" Minerva wondered. 

"He really likes you. Take good care of him." 

"So you actually do care about him?" she asked, a bit surprised. 

The blond shrugged a little. "I dunno. He's like a little brother or something. An annoying little brother, but you've gotta love him anyway, I guess." 

"He said much the same of you," the girl said with some amusement. 

"With emphasis on the annoying part, right?" 

Minerva nodded. 

Elena shook her head and laughed. "Always nice to know I'm loved." 

"I am sure he cares." 

"Yeah, he probably does. He'd never admit it, though." 

She did not reply. 

"Hey, I'm tired of sitting around. D'you think you could get out on the dance floor again?" 

"I suppose," Minerva answered hesitantly. 

"Well, I mean, Reeve's not much of a dancer--no offense, Reeve--" 

"None taken," he replied over his shoulder. "I quite agree with you." 

"--and not in a million years could I get Rude out there." She lowered her voice confidentially to explain, "He's really shy around girls." She lifted her voice again, concluding, "Anyway, can you do the guy's part?" 

The girl shrugged. "I could." 

"All right!" Elena exclaimed, hopping to her feet. "Let's go then." 

Minerva got up more slowly, and Reno lifted his head in confusion as she did. She bent down to speak to him. "I am going to dance with Elena. You stay here, and don't order any more drinks." With this last statement, she glanced at Rude and Reeve, trusting that they would enforce that if Reno would not. 

"Kay," the redhead replied easily, and he watched her as she went out with Elena to dance.

* * *

Cloud and Tifa left the party earlier than some, though nevertheless at a late hour, and returned to their room at the inn. Tifa sat down on their bed, but Cloud remained standing, not sure he could sleep just yet; he had a lot on his mind. 

What had Aeris gotten herself into? he wondered. In love with Sephiroth? Part of it, he admitted, was a pain that she had chosen Cloud's rival over him, but he still worried that the swordsman might snap again. He hoped that with Aeris doing whatever it was she did, she would be able to keep him sane. 

He couldn't understand what she saw in him, and though everyone else seemed able to give him a second chance, Cloud wasn't sure he could bring himself to see Sephiroth as a changed man. He would try his best not to intervene--who knew? Maybe Nanaki was right and Aeris could actually find happiness with such a man--but it was hard not to view the swordsman's every action with suspicion. Sephiroth had taken everything from him: his hometown, his family, and now Aeris for the second time. 

"My pensive husband," Tifa remarked from where she sat on the bed. 

Not everything, he corrected as he turned to face her. Thank the gods he still had Tifa. Without her... 

"What are you thinking about, hmm?" 

He shrugged. 

Her expression sobered, and she tilted her head. "All right, so it's something deep. Do you want to talk about it?" 

"I was just trying to figure out how I'm supposed to deal with Sephiroth," he told her, walking over to sit down beside her, his gaze on his feet. "He's taken practically everything from me--I almost lost you to him once. But Aeris cares a lot about him, so I can't go on hating him, can I?" 

Tifa smiled in commiseration. "I know. It's even harder for you than for me. But I think the only way to stop hating or fearing a person is to get to know them... and it's hard even to try that when there's so much enmity between you." 

"Getting over Aeris was the first thing I had to do," he said slowly. "And probably the hardest." 

She blinked and stared at him in silence. He knew she wanted him to go on. 

"I can't protect her anymore," he sighed. "I can't even talk to her. She's as nice as she always was, but she keeps her distance. I think maybe she feels like she's hurting me, but her being distant has helped. I realized tonight that... I don't know her anymore. She's a stranger to me, and I can't love a stranger." 

Cloud lifted his head to look at his wife. "But you, Tifa, I've always known you. I've spent my entire life falling in love with you and not realizing it, but now I can finally say it: I love you, Tifa." 

She threw her arms around him, tears of joy in her eyes. "Oh, Cloud, I love you, too." 

He returned the embrace and laid his head against hers. "Sorry I've been such a terrible husband, pining after another woman when I had you all along." 

"It's all right, Cloud," she said, not bothering to wipe away her tears. "I think you really fell in love with her for a while. She was what you needed then: someone to open you up. I was too afraid that you didn't love me, but she was so direct. She wouldn't let you remain so cold and unfeeling. I'm grateful to her... I just hope she really has found what _she_ needs in Sephiroth." 

"Me, too." 

"Are we still going to fight Jenova?" Tifa asked him. "After all, you only wanted to protect Aeris, but she has Sephiroth to defend her." 

Cloud frowned. "Until Jenova is dead, she can still influence him. I'm going." 

She twisted to search his gaze. "But you have her cells in you, too." 

He met her gaze. "And that's just another reason to go." 

Nodding, she leaned back against him. "You want to prove that you're strong enough to defy her, too." 

"...you don't have to come along, Tifa," he said softly. "You don't have to fight anymore." 

"Wherever you go, I go. That's how it's always been, isn't it?"

* * *

Author's Notes  
Originally the Cloud/Tifa scene didn't occur until several chapters later. By that point I had become more of a Cloud/Tifa-shipper. All my fics before this, aside from some Vincent-centric ones, had been Cloud/Aeris. (And no, you will never see any of them. They're horrid. Trust me on this one.) Mostly this was because I liked Aeris best when I first played the game, and thus made Cloud act as though he liked her. I don't think it helped that I disliked Tifa back then, entirely because she was my brother's favorite girl, and his only reason was that she was hot. Yyyeahh... Those opinions have long since changed. I still find Aeris more interesting to write, but I really like Tifa now, and I certainly think she and Cloud belong together. Hence this scene. 


	31. Healer

**Chapter 30: Healer**

The tables were bare, the musicians had packed up their instruments and left, parents had long since carried their children off to bed, and those who had not already left were leaving now or planned to leave soon. A few had gone to sit at the Candle and gaze into its calming flame, quietly rejoicing in the peace that had been restored. These people radiated content. In the east the sky was paling, though most did not notice it yet. 

At one table, a particular redhead sat with his head down and arms sprawled out in front of him. A blond woman had risen from her seat, a look of exasperation on her face, and a pace behind her, a tall silver-haired girl stood as though trying to remain unnoticed. Their two friends had left earlier, and they had not thought to ask them to stay and help, nor had either offered. 

"Reno, get up," Elena said, shaking him by the shoulders. 

The redhead groaned and buried his head further in his arms. 

"Reno," she said again, more loudly. "Get. Up." 

"Ow... Turn the volume down, Laney," he mumbled. 

She sighed and refused to lower her voice. "Practically everyone's left already. Let's go." 

He lifted his head to glare at her with considerable effort. "Shut up. Please." 

Elena sighed in exasperation. "Reno, _come on_. I'm tired." 

"Lemme 'lone," he muttered, lowering his head again, nearly letting it thump against the table. 

Minerva caught the blond's eye before she could start yelling. "You go on. I will handle him." 

She hesitated, then held up her hands in defeat. "All right, you deal with him. Sounds good to me." With a forced smile and a curt good night (though clearly it was nearing dawn), Elena walked off, leaving Minerva to take care of Reno on her own. 

The silver-haired girl eyed him critically for a moment before saying softly, "If you stay here, you will only fall asleep again. Would it not be preferable to sleep somewhere comfortable?" 

He lifted his head to look at her, expression almost skeptical. "How would you know? You don' care, Min." 

She decided to overlook his bluntness. "It is not very difficult to infer it from observation." 

"C'n you use smaller words?" 

Though she could not help but find the request amusing, Minerva sighed and shook her head. "You do know they may kick you out of here soon." 

Reno paused thoughtfully, then straightened, slowly pushed back his chair, and got to his feet, making every motion seem heavy and laborious. "Aight, aight, let's go." 

She walked with him in silence back to the home of the shopkeeper where he had roomed the night before, ignoring his grumbling complaints. He stopped at the door to look back at her, scratching his head. 

"I, uh... said some pretty stupid things, didn't I?" 

Minerva shrugged. "It does not matter." 

"Yeah, it does." 

"If you wish," she said, "we can talk about it later. But now, you need your rest." 

He nodded. "Yeah, you're right." A grin came to his face. "G'night, Min." 

She smiled faintly in response. "Good night, Reno." 

Seeing the smile, he winked before entering the house as quietly as he could--which really wasn't very quiet, but most of the villagers were probably sleeping heavily after such a night. 

Minerva, though, had no place to sleep, and after spending so much time surrounded by people--by friends--she felt a little empty now. So she climbed to the top of the canyon, looking for the one person who she knew would still be awake, and sat down beside him at the cliff's edge. His gaze was on the sky, though she doubted he paid any attention to what his eyes were seeing. She hated to interrupt his thoughts, but she had put this off for far too long. 

"Sephiroth?" 

"Yes?" he queried automatically, not glancing at her. 

"You knew Talya well, did you not?" 

He nodded slightly and looked at her now, questioning. 

"I have never thought well of her, and Reno has asked me to find out who she was that I may hate her less." She scoffed a little. "What good it will do me now that she is dead, I do not know." 

Sephiroth shrugged. "Aeris says that hatred is a terrible thing to hold in your heart." 

"And she would know?" 

"Why do you think she wanted Hojo dead?" 

Minerva only looked at him for a moment, then shook her head. "Then tell me. Tell me about Talya. If she cared, how could she have served Hojo for so long?" 

Sephiroth sighed, lay back across the rocky ground with his feet still dangling over the edge, and put his arms behind his head. "She kept her job because she cared about us, not because she didn't." 

She situated herself cross-legged beside him, trying to read his expression. It was not cold, yet it gave nothing away. He seemed oddly... relaxed. "You mean to say that she did not want to leave us," she concluded. 

"Yes, but there is more to it than that." 

"Then explain it to me. Why did she stay after you were gone?" 

"She didn't want to leave us with Hojo," he said. "She thought that she could hold him back a little if she stayed. Besides, if she left then, Shinra might have killed her or locked her up. In either case, she would never have seen us again. There was no way she could have taken either of us with her." 

"The Professor was weak, then. She could even have killed him. She could have left with us and gone into hiding; surely a Turk knows how to hide. I don't understand why she had to remain." 

"I doubt leaving would have been easy for her with you so young," Sephiroth considered. "And once you were older, Hojo could have sent you to kill her." 

"Then her staying means nothing to me." 

Sephiroth closed his eyes. It seemed he was having difficulty putting his thoughts into words. He was not nearly as good at this as Aeris must have been, but Minerva would not have wanted Aeris's help even had she known Talya. 

"Did you ever try to escape?" he asked. "Disobey your orders? Anything that caused you pain?" 

"On several occasions." 

"And did she come, once she found out?" 

"...yes. She always came. But it was only to ask why I tried." 

"No; she would have known that you would never have told her. So that couldn't have been her reason. She wanted to make certain you were all right." 

"Then why couldn't she have told me that?" Minerva demanded, frustration slipping into her voice. With Sephiroth, she did not care. Who would he tell? "Why couldn't she stop pretending not to care?" 

He opened his eyes to look up at her. "Did you ever tell her anything?" 

"No. She always lied to me, so I never trusted her with anything." 

"Your sense of right and wrong is so much stronger than mine ever was." 

"What do you mean by that?" 

"I knew she was lying," he said, "but I talked to her anyway, because she was all I had. And after a time, she stopped lying." 

"So you are saying that trusting a person forces them to become trustworthy?" 

"Not necessarily. But Talya had enough compassion in her that she felt guilty for lying to me whenever I confided in her." 

"Did she feel guilty when she beat you as well?" Minerva asked bitterly. 

"Yes." 

"Did she ever stop?" 

"No." 

"Why not?" 

He sighed. "Talya told me something once... If she stopped doing her job, then Hojo would simply find someone else who did it better." Sephiroth glanced at her. "And, as apparently you do not know, Hojo gave much harsher beatings than Talya." 

"So even that was supposed to be a kindness," she scoffed. 

"What did you want from her? Friendship? Something akin to what she had with me?" 

"Yes, something like what you had. You say she cared about us both, but she was your friend, not mine. What did I do wrong?" 

"She wasn't good at reading people. She never thought you wanted that from her." 

Minerva looked down, seeing what he meant. "I was too self-contained. I did not want to rely on someone who lied to me, no matter what her reasons; that would have been weak of me..." 

"You didn't let yourself befriend her," he confirmed, "even though she was your mother. I suppose she was a disappointment to you, not being remotely close to what a mother should have been. Blows instead of embraces." 

"Sephiroth?" she asked, all harshness leaving her voice. "Do fathers normally hug their children, too?" 

He blinked, noticing her change in tone, and pushed himself up to a sitting position to look at her. "Yes, I suppose so. Why?" 

She shook her head and looked away. "No reason. I was only curious." 

His gaze lingered on her for a moment before shifting away. "I suppose there isn't much more I can tell you about her reasons. Even if I can, I've no wish to intrude on your memories." 

"...she did introduce me to the concept of music," she recalled, almost reluctantly. "And I suppose that was kindness of a sort." 

Sephiroth nodded his absent agreement. "Music is beautiful, isn't it?" 

Minerva chose not to reply; she considered the conversation over now, despite any real conclusion. She remained where she sat and turned her attention the candle. By now most people had left it to get some sleep, and only one couple remained by the comfort of the flame. And once the sun at last peaked over the horizon and cast its pale glow across the eastern face of the canyon, those two left it as well. Minerva lifted her gaze to look out across the whole canyon as the sun rose. 

Sephiroth got to his feet, abruptly but purposefully. 

"Where are you going?" she asked. 

He looked down at her, and she noticed a confidence that had not been there before. A fresh confidence, not one he had regained; she doubted he had ever held this sort of sureness, for it was one borne of knowing someone believed in him. 

"It is time I started living up to Aeris's opinion of me," he said. "There are questions that need answering, and doubts I must dispel--both mine and others.'" 

Minerva nodded. "I think I understand. I am surprised, though, that you are starting such a thing so soon." 

"What should I be waiting for?" he wondered. Indeed he seemed much more content now, and she had to ask: 

"Did she say she loved you?" 

He hesitated but a moment, but long enough to show her that he still harbored his old doubts. Not as strong, perhaps, but he would not get rid of them so easily. "She said she did not know yet. But her friendship is enough for me; after all, it is more than I have ever had." A faint smile came to his face as he went on, "She said that she would rather have my friendship and die by my hand than never see me again. I..." At a loss for words, he could only shake his head. 

She allowed a smile to grace her own face, if only briefly. "To have so strong a friendship must be a wonderful thing. I am happy for you." 

His smile faded, and he tilted his head to look at her searchingly. After a moment he nodded once as though he had answered his own question. "I am sure Reno will prove a good friend for you as well." 

The girl blinked; that was not what she had expected. "I suppose so." 

"He certainly seems to be trying anyway." 

Minerva nodded. "Well, I suppose I have kept you here long enough. Go on and find your answers. You've already given me mine." 

Sephiroth turned to leave, hesitated, and, when she said nothing further, strode off, back down the ladder. She watched him go, then returned her gaze to the canyon and her thoughts to all he had said, and what she had not.

* * *

Sephiroth approached the Candle silently, pausing some paces away. Cloud sat alone in front of it, gazing pensively into the flames. Was he certain he wanted to do this now? he wondered. Then again, he supposed there was little he could say that would worsen Cloud's opinion of him. Indeed it was better to try to raise it before his proximity to Aeris drew further concern. 

The swordsman did not use the steps, but instead pulled himself up onto the edge of the platform and sat backwards, looking at Cloud and wondering where to begin. 

The blond noticed him with a start and immediately frowned. "What are you doing here?" 

"I came to speak with you," Sephiroth replied simply. 

"And what do _we_ have to talk about?" 

"Aeris." 

Cloud's gaze turned wary. "What do you mean?" 

"I know you worry about her being with me, and you in particular feel especially protective because there is still something between you." 

"What would you know about that?" 

"Obviously more than you think." He hesitated and at last had to break the other man's gaze. "I am in love with her as well." 

Cloud gaped at him. 

Sephiroth regarded him darkly. "You think the idea absurd, don't you?" 

"It is! You _can't_ be in love with her!" 

"And why not?" Sephiroth demanded. "Am I so alien that I cannot have emotions like normal humans? I have always been guarded with you, yes, but that hardly means there is nothing beyond that. And Aeris... she knew that." He stopped, deciding anything more was unnecessary. 

"So why are you telling me about this?" 

"I should think it would be obvious." 

"Well, it isn't," Cloud deadpanned. 

Sephiroth sighed. "You don't trust me; you fear that I will hurt her. I want to assure you that I will not, which I cannot do if I tell you nothing. And... As foolish as it sounds, I wish to seek some kind of forgiveness." 

Cloud shook his head. "You know I can never forgive you for what you did in Nibelheim. Maybe Aeris can do that, but I'm not that kind of person. But... maybe I can trust you with her, though I don't like it. It's her choice, and if it makes her happy, then I'll have to live with it." His frown deepened, and he fixed Sephiroth with a dubious gaze. "But I have to ask you: do you really mean what you said?" 

"I would not say I loved her if I did not. Such emotions have always seemed weak and foolish to me, and my instinct is to deny it. But I cannot; that would be an insult to her." 

"And you won't hurt her," Cloud went on. 

"Never again," he said firmly. "But have you never hurt her, Cloud?" 

The blond broke his gaze and shifted uncomfortably. "Why are you asking?" 

His reaction surprised Sephiroth; he had expected an immediate no and had only asked on the chance that... what? Perhaps he wanted to prove that Cloud was not so much better for her than he. Perhaps he wanted some valid reason to dislike the man. Perhaps he had only been following his intuition. He had not expected that feeling to be right. 

"Judging from your reaction, the answer is yes, and I want to know about it." 

"Why should it matter to you?" came the guarded question. 

"Because I want to understand Aeris, and she has not spoken of a time when you hurt her." 

Cloud met his gaze with a frown. "Can't you just ask her?" 

"It is your failing, not hers." 

The blond sighed and closed his eyes. "It was at the Temple... You remember, don't you?" 

Of course he remembered. That was where he had first noticed Aeris's beautiful strength of will, her stubborn determination, her danger to his purpose, and where her familiarity had first confused him. 

"After you got the Black Materia from me..." He trailed off and began again. "Aeris was with me. I was so angry at myself, and she tried to comfort me, but I... I knocked her down and beat her. I don't even remember it that well; someone must've stopped me, knocked me out." 

Sephiroth was silent for a long moment, not certain what to make of this. Cloud had... beaten her? For all that he loved her, he had grown angry and... beaten her. 

_And for all that you cared about her, she was in your way, so you killed her._

Yes, the worst sin was his, for murdering her. But he did not understand it. "Why?" he asked. 

Cloud shook his head in frustration. "I don't know. I didn't mean to. I just... couldn't stop myself, almost like at the City..." 

"I suppose... it may have been my fault," Sephiroth considered. "I may not have urged you to harm her, but you always had difficulty returning to yourself after I had used you." 

"You mean you're telling me its not my fault?" Cloud asked incredulously. 

"Yes." 

_You're being so _nice_ today_, Jenova commented. _What brought about this change? _

Do you even have to ask? 

"Why?" Cloud wondered. 

_So it was Aeris. You know, of course, that the moment you are looking the other way, I will come to kill her. _

Then I will be certain to kill you before you get that chance. "It isn't what you expected of me, is it? Doing anything unselfish is beyond me, you think?" Sephiroth shrugged. "Make what you want of it. I have no need of a scapegoat." 

"You mean you don't want one, because with all you've done, it'd probably be easier to blame it on someone else." 

"Easier perhaps, but I would be lying to myself, and I am finished with that." 

"It's really hard to believe that you've changed this much in a few weeks," Cloud remarked. 

"Was I truly that different before Nibelheim?" 

"What about _after_ Nibelheim? You can't disregard that." 

"That was the result of lies--Hojo's, Jenova's, my own--and my lack of outlet for emotion." 

"You never seemed like you needed one." 

Sephiroth met his gaze firmly. "If you had been brought up never to show your feelings, or even admit that you had them, perhaps you would seem this way, too." 

Cloud shook his head slightly. "Why are you telling me all this? Why bother?" 

"I have heard it said that once you understand your enemy, you can love them. Aeris has proven that, and though I hardly expect you to come anywhere near that, I am tired of your hateful gaze on my back, tired of your constant suspicion, tired of feeling uncomfortable around Aeris because I know you are watching and disapprove of it." 

"How can I approve of it? You _killed_ her." 

"And the part of myself that enjoyed it has died as well." 

"How can I know that?" 

"Cloud--" He paused and looked sharply at the other man. "I will never hurt her. I could never find a valid reason to harm her in the slightest, much less kill her again." 

_How about that she's a meddling bitch who stole you away from your mother?_ Jenova suggested, but he did not bother to reply. 

Cloud sighed. "Fine, fine. Anyway... I wanted to call everyone together so we can fill them in on what's going on." 

"You want me to help gather them here?" Sephiroth asked. 

"Yeah," was the grudging reply. 

With nothing more than a nod between them, each went off to find who they could. Soon they were all gathered around the Candle, all sitting a little closer to each other than perhaps was polite, though only Elena made any protest, and then Sephiroth doubted she had any serious complaint. 

Aeris sat on his right, ready with a reassuring smile whenever he needed respite from the harsh gazes of her friends. She was his support, his anchor, his best friend, his everything. And he had killed her. No, he told himself, that was in the past, another life, it no longer mattered. 

Once they were all settled but before Cloud could begin, Cid spoke up. "So what're we all here for? We already killed the bad guy, didn't we?" 

Cloud nodded. "Yeah. We've done all that we set out to do; we killed Hojo and freed Sephiroth. So any of you can go home if you want." 

"But?" Reeve prompted. 

"But there is another enemy to fight." 

"Who?" Cid wondered. 

"Jenova." It was Yuffie who answered. 

The pilot raised an eyebrow. "And how do _you_ know about this?" 

"Sephiroth told me," she answered cooly, her tone faintly resentful of his surprise. 

"Sephiroth?" 

"I told her I was going to kill Jenova," the swordsman clarified, sensing the wariness of those who hadn't heard of his plans. All eyes turned to him, no doubt wondering several things. Jenova was still alive? And _Sephiroth_ wanted to kill her? And why on the Planet would he tell _Yuffie_ about this? 

"How do you know she's still alive?" Elena asked. "Didn't Avalanche kill her when they killed you?" 

"Am I dead?" Sephiroth asked in reply, and the blond dropped her gaze. 

"But how do you know for sure?" Reno persisted. 

"I've heard her voice in my head." 

The redhead regarded him as though dubious of his sanity, but he did not question that. "So, what? You want us to help you kill her?" 

He shook his head. "I've asked no one for help, but there are those who have offered it anyway." 

"Who?" 

Yuffie piped up first. "Me, for one." 

"And I'm going," Aeris said. 

"Teef and I are going, too," Cloud said. 

"I shall go as well," Minerva added quietly. 

Reno nodded. "Then I guess you can count me in." 

"Well, it doesn't look like you guys need any more help, so I'll head home," Cid decided. "I'm gettin' too old for this shit anyway." 

"Thirty-seven is hardly old, Cid," Tifa laughed. 

"It's three years short o' forty," he told her. 

"Then you'd better marry Shera quick," Yuffie advised with a grin, "before you drop off the face of the Planet." 

Cid ran a hand through his hair. "Why do you guys always have to bring that up?" 

"Because we've waited five years and still nothing, not even an engagement," Tifa answered. "We thought it'd happen in five weeks at the most." 

"Fine," he said grudgingly. "Somebody help me find a ring, and I'll go home an' propose to 'er." 

Nearly everyone laughed. 

"Anyway," Cloud said once they were quiet again. "If anyone wants to leave on the Highwind, you can talk to Cid about it." 

"What about fighting Jenova?" Reno asked. "When are we gonna do that, and where're we going?" 

A number of those present looked to Sephiroth, though many still looked to Cloud. The swordsman shook his head. "I have to find out where she is first, though I think I have a good idea. As for when--the sooner the better." 

_You think you know where I am? Silly boy. Even if you are right, I can be gone by the time you come. _

Then you'll run from me? And I thought you could defeat me so easily. 

You perhaps, but you and all your 'friends' may present a problem. 

"Tomorrow?" Cloud suggested. 

No one objected. 

"Tomorrow then," Sephiroth confirmed. _I shall see you then, Jenova. _

I'll no longer be here. I can easily find a new place to hide. 

Hiding indeed. 

"Does Jenova have any weaknesses to speak of?" Yuffie asked. 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I know of none. You have fought her before; you should know better than I do." 

"I guess you're right. But still, she talks in your head, so I figured you might know something we don't." When he offered no reply, she rocked forward on her heels and hopped up. "So I guess we should get ready for tomorrow." 

"Jeez, kid, how much is there to do before you go?" Cid wondered, regarding her dubiously. 

She put her hands on her hips. "I'm not talking about doing my hair or something, Cid Highwind. I'm talking about seeing people and talking to them and stuff." 

"Very eloquently put, Yuffie," Nanaki remarked as he hopped down from the platform. 

Yuffie turned with an indignant "hey!" and ran after him. 

"Kids these days," Cid said, standing and shaking his head. 

The rest of the group dispersed in little clusters, and Tifa went with Cid towards the shops, he noted with some amusement. Aeris remained with Sephiroth before the Candle, taking up his hand once most of her friends had gone. 

"Have you two put any thought into where you're going after this is over?" 

Sephiroth looked up to see his mother standing there with Vincent a silent shape just behind her. 

"Where we're going?" Aeris echoed in startlement. 

Lucrecia smiled. "I assume you're staying together." 

The Cetra blushed, much to Sephiroth's surprise, and lowered her gaze. "I guess so," she answered. "I really hadn't given it any thought. All I know is that I'm not going back to Costa del Sol." She glanced at Sephiroth. "Any ideas?" 

He shrugged. "I have no wish to return to Nibelheim, and I doubt the people of Wutai would welcome me, but more than that, I don't know." 

Lucrecia hesitated. "Vincent and I are thinking about going back to Nibelheim. Despite what happened, we do have many fond memories there." 

Aeris smiled. "That's nice. I guess Sephiroth and I will put a little more thought into the matter, and we'll tell you once we've decided. Who knows, we may end up staying here; the people seem accepting enough." 

Accepting. So she was taking that into consideration. 

"Mother," Sephiroth said falteringly, "could I talk to you for a moment?" 

"Alone?" she asked. 

He hesitated and looked at Aeris. "You can listen if you like." 

"Only if you want me to," she replied. 

"I... think it might be better that way," he said. He lifted his eyes to Vincent. "However, I doubt you would want to hear it, and I'd feel..." 

"Uncomfortable," Vincent finished with a nod. "I understand." With that he turned to leave, and the three remaining watched him go. 

Once he had gone, Lucrecia settled herself down beside Sephiroth. "What did you want to talk to me about?" 

"Mother," he began, and this time he saw her smile as he called her that, "I want to know more... about my father." 

The request obviously startled her, and she found no ready reply. 

He nodded in response to her unspoken questions and turned his gaze to the fire. "Yes, of course I've accepted it. I cannot deny that Hojo is my father, however much I dislike it. And neither can I discard his memory so easily. I knew only his cruelty and killed him in anger, and yet... He said that he loved you, somehow. I cannot fathom it, after all he did to me, but... Mother, you would be the one to know, if he was ever any different, if he ever had a soul." 

"He did once," Lucrecia said quietly. "A long time ago. He was a very hard-working man, but he always made time to help me if I needed him. And the conversations we would have! Vincent would listen, of course, but Hojo shared more of himself with me. Together we could think up so many wonderful ideas... But... things changed once we married." 

Her voice dropped with her gaze. "He must have known that I still loved Vincent, and he was angry at us both for that. He always did hate Vincent, and the fact that my love made them rivals--that made the hate stronger. Even though... I never actually said it to either of them. I always regretted that." 

"Even saying it to Hojo?" he wondered. 

"Yes, even to Hojo. Maybe," she went on, "maybe if I had told him, he wouldn't have grown so spiteful. Maybe I would have been a joy to him rather than a constant reminder that he shared my love with Vincent. Maybe that was why he grew to hate me, too." 

"He told us that he let you die out of jealousy, to get back at Vincent. But I cannot understand it. If he cared at all for you, how could he have...?" He trailed off on renoticing Aeris at his side. He had cared for her, and yet not only had he let her die, he had killed her himself. 

"Maybe that was the only way he could see to stop me from loving Vincent." 

Sephiroth nodded, then frowned. "And his treatment of me? I know he did not spend all his time running tests. There was... time enough for other things..." 

"You must have reminded him of me," she said, meeting his gaze and smiling ruefully. "You do have my eyes." 

"So he was trying to make himself forget?" 

Lucrecia nodded slowly. "I wonder if maybe he did forget me, for a time, while you kept your eyes lowered and your mouth shut. Perhaps then, he couldn't see me in you and couldn't feel any pain over losing me." 

"He never even mentioned you," Sephiroth said. 

"...I asked him once," she went on sadly, "if he ever wanted children, and he told me certainly not; they would be a pain and a nuisance. But then he laughed, and I thought he must surely be joking. Or at least, that he might enjoy having them anyway. But now I don't think so." Lucrecia shook her head. "You, though, you would have been the perfect son for him, had he bothered to treat you like one." 

"But your memory tormented him," Sephiroth realized suddenly, "just as it did Vincent. And while Vincent clung to that memory and punished himself for your death, Hojo did everything he could to destroy that memory. His sorrow over your death was a flaw, as his love for you had been." 

"So he was just a man who wanted desperately to be perfect," she concluded with a sigh. "Professor Gast was a reminder of his scientific shortcomings, I of his emotional weakness, and you reminded him of both. That's why he hated you, my son, because you were sure proof of his imperfection. No matter how many times he must have told himself that your greatness added to his because you were his 'creation,' he never got over it. It must have been devastating; he wanted recognition and all he ever got was hatred." 

They sat with silence stretched between them for some time, letting these revelations sink in. 

"Even knowing all that," Sephiroth said finally, "I don't think any healer, even Aeris, could have cured him of his hatred or his cruelty." 

"Maybe if I'd..." Lucrecia began. 

"No," Aeris interrupted, speaking for the first time in the conversation. "You had no obligation to change him, and I can't imagine how hard it would have been to get him to even admit that he needed to be changed. It's near impossible to help someone who doesn't want help on some level or another." 

"...and even deep down, he didn't want it," Lucrecia sighed. "I suppose you're right." 

"Mother?" Sephiroth queried. 

"Yes?" 

"Am I anything like Hojo?" 

Lucrecia shook her head, a smile coming to her face. "No, not a bit. And I'm glad. Yours is a different kind of intelligence, a different kind of determination. Your motives are much purer, and they always have been. That's why I'm proud of you, my son." 

He smiled in relief and bowed his head. "Thank you." 

"There's no need to thank me for that," she told him. "Now, I had better get back to Vincent." She shared a knowing glance with Aeris as she got to her feet. "You leave him alone for five minutes and he's found something else to blame himself for." With that, she bade them both farewell and hurried off in the direction that Vincent had gone. 

Sephiroth turned back to Aeris, searching for a reaction. 

"You surprised me," she admitted. "But I'm glad you're trying to understand even the ones you hate. I think that helped me some, too." 

"I had hoped it might," he said. "But, I would not have thought to ask her, except that Minerva asked me about Talya this morning, wanting to understand her better." 

She smiled. "Then you helped her, too. What else have you done today?" 

"...I talked to Cloud," he replied, looking down. 

"About... us?" 

He nodded. 

"Do you think it helped?" 

Sephiroth shrugged. "Perhaps a bit. I cannot be certain." 

Aeris caught his gaze with a smile. "You're being a healer today, Sephiroth. I can see it in your eyes, and it's beautiful." 

He tore his gaze away and muttered something under his breath. 

She laughed. "Modesty? I think you should be proud of yourself. Being a healer is not an easy thing, but there is a shortage of them on this planet." 

"Do you think Jenova can be understood?" he asked on a whim. 

Aeris shook her head slowly. "I don't know. I guess so, but I wouldn't be the one to do it. She doesn't belong to this Planet. That's why she doesn't die; the Lifestream can't accept her. But for the Planet to survive, we have to find a way to kill her." 

"How?" he wondered. 

"I don't know. Maybe part of it is her will. She's too strong for the Planet to deal with in its weakened state. Maybe she's afraid of dying. Maybe she's the last of her kind, and she's struggling to carry that on, I don't know." 

_Are you the last of your kind?_ Sephiroth asked her. 

Silence. 

"She won't answer me," he said. "It's strange for her _not_ to want to talk about something. But then, she has always avoided discussing what happened two millennia ago. She rants at the Cetra frequently, but won't even give a real reason for her hatred." 

"A part of me wants to hear her side," Aeris said quietly, "but... I've heard stories from the Cetra before me, and what Jenova did was terrible. We befriended her, and our thanks was betrayal and painful death. Maybe she had a reason, but I can't see it. We've always fought her in self-defense; can't she see that through you and Minerva?" 

Sephiroth nodded slightly and fell silent. 

_I see you accept the Cetra's words without question_, Jenova remarked spitefully. 

_Because she speaks the truth to me. All you've ever offered me are half-truths and flat-out lies. _

What if my 'lies' are the truth as I understand it? 

You are only fooling yourself. Surely you've seen the value in individuals. There are no generalizations that allow you to kill them all. You can find reasons behind the actions of those few against whom your anger might be justified. You can understand their own laments, untangle your misunderstandings, and, out of that, you can find forgiveness in yourself. But then, even after all this time, you still don't understand that, do you? 

I understand that you were the first person in two thousand years to even pay attention to me. And the only. Oh, certainly, Minerva will listen because I force her to. Occasionally, when she's feeling desperate, she'll toss ideas at me. But she never does anything remotely like caring. 

He barely held back a scoff, not wanting to draw Aeris's curiosity. _Don't tell me you are lonely. _

Shouldn't I be? 

For all I know, you are only playing to my compassion. 

You see? Even if I decided that I wanted to become what you consider good, I could never do it. You would always think it some elaborate deception. Both of you would. So I can't change, you won't let_ me change, even if I want to change! You pretend to be so open, but you really can't understand each other. You just make up pretty little lies so you can pretend to like each other. You pretend to each other that you're oh-so-understanding, and in your hearts you believe whatever you want. Just like those Cetra did! They thought their every breath was a comfort to me, but they were all lies, _lies_, they never understood, never let me explain it to them, never gave me a chance, and then they--_

She stopped suddenly, as though realizing all that she had said that she had never before confided to anyone. _Now look what you've driven me to_, she muttered. 

For a long time he found no reply. It shocked him to hear Jenova speak this way. Lately he had told himself that she had no emotions, and the reminder that she did caught him off-guard. And yet, hadn't he once thought of her this way? Hadn't she, at some point, for whatever reasons, tried to show him some affection, some sympathy? Perhaps some of what she said was true. Much of it, however, seemed like a collection of half-truths that she had told herself and eventually come to believe. Justifications for what she had done in anger. 

In some ways, she seemed incredibly human. Sephiroth, too, had deceived himself in order to justify his actions. The comparison repulsed him, but he had to admit it had some merit. 

But Jenova did not feel his guilt. And that was one very important difference. 

_You are nearing your breaking point, aren't you?_ he asked finally. 

_...what do you mean?_ came Jenova's guarded reply. He had never known her to act guarded. 

_You can't keep it up much longer, this single-minded attack on the humans and the Cetra. It's breaking you, to keep it up and think of nothing else. _

Well, it doesn't help that you're being so cruel to me, she retorted. 

_You make constant threats to the woman I love. How else should I treat you? _

You killed_ the woman you love, and she forgave you for it. I haven't even attempted it, and already you condemn me for it? _

Because you have no guilt, no desire to rescind your threats. I cannot forgive you unless you make an effort to deserve it. 

And what did you do to deserve Aeris's forgiveness, hmm? 

I called her back. Surely that is enough to show that I regret killing her. 

Is it? 

He flinched in spite of himself and glared into the flame. _If you are that spiteful because of my attitude towards you, then perhaps you should sit and think on your own about why I despise you. Think about why everyone despises you. And, if you have them, think about your own emotions. Perhaps you will find them as unjustified as I do._

At last Jenova fell silent, and Sephiroth let out a cleansing sigh. He noticed that Aeris was watching him silently, and he wondered what emotions she had seen on his face as he spoke with Jenova. 

Somehow, though, she seemed to sense that he did not want to explain, and instead she looked into the Candle and leaned back on her hands. "It's still morning," she said. "What do you want to do today?" 

He shook his head. "Whatever you like. It matters not to me." 

"How about we start by taking off your gloves?" she suggested, finding his gaze and holding it. "You don't need them, do you?" 

He looked away but made no objection. She sat up and took up each of his hands in turn, carefully tugging off the black gloves that hid them and laying them aside. That done, she clasped both his hands in hers that seemed so tiny and delicate in comparison. He marvelled silently at the feel of her skin against his own; they had held hands before, but this seemed so much more intimate. He dared not meet her gaze. 

"Did you think your own hands so dirty that you couldn't touch anyone with them?" she asked softly. 

It should not have surprised him that she knew his reasons, but it did anyway. "Yes," he murmured. 

"You shouldn't think that. These are the hands of a healer. These are the hands that brushed away my tears. These are the hands that held me to drive away my solitude. They're nothing to be ashamed of." 

Sephiroth shook his head slowly. "But they are also the hands that wielded the Masamune and took countless lives. There is much blood on these hands." 

"These hands are clean," Aeris said firmly. 

He did not reply, but instead looked down at their joined hands. "Aeris?" he queried after a time. 

"Yes?" 

"Do you really mean to stay with me after this is all over?" 

"Of course I do," she replied. 

Sephiroth nodded, finally found her gaze, and managed a smile. "Then I'm glad."

* * *

Author's Notes  
I cut a lot of little pieces out of this chapter, trying to streamline the dialogue and get rid of some unnecessary description. Whenever I had the whole group together like they were at the Candle in this chapter, I had a tendency to go through and make some remarks about each of them. A sort of character inventory, I guess. A couple of the things I would have liked to fit in somewhere, but they really weren't important so I cut that section out entirely. 

I have to say I like the exchange between Sephiroth and Jenova best out of all the scenes in this chapter. Originally it didn't occur until the next chapter, but it seemed very random there, so I decided to move it, and I think it fits in a lot more nicely here. 


	32. Holding Back

**Chapter 31: Holding Back**

Though many were still fast asleep, most of the people of Cosmo Canyon had already gotten back to their routines. A pair of children chased each other around near the Candle, stopping only to greet one of the Elders who sat nearby conversing with another woman. The shops were back to business as usual, and though they had fewer customers this morning, a newcomer to the village would not have seen anything out of the ordinary. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lucrecia come to join him at the walkway's rail. "What did Sephiroth want?" he asked of her. 

"He had some questions about Hojo," she replied. "It might have done you some good to hear them, but he probably wouldn't have been so open with you nearby, considering..." 

"I see." 

His curt reply seemed to make her uncomfortable, and it took her a moment to find something else to say. "I think she's falling for him, Vincent." 

"Aeris?" 

She nodded. "Did you see her blush?" she asked with a soft smile. "And I could see it in her face, every time she looked at him. Of course, I'm not sure she realizes it yet." 

"And what of Sephiroth?" 

"Oh, he loves her, certainly. He seems so... at ease, around her. He finds comfort in her presence, and he seems quite devoted to her." 

Vincent looked to where the pair sat by the Candle, their hands joined. "Yes, he does. He needs her healing power... but what could she possibly need from him?" 

Lucrecia leaned against him. "Someone to confide in?" 

"Why Sephiroth?" 

"...because he wants to help her in the same way that she helps him. From the way she acts, you wouldn't think she needed it, but a person can't keep giving and giving; they have to get something back." 

"She must hide it because she does not want to be a burden to anyone as they are to her." 

"But Sephiroth is willing." 

He nodded. "I suppose so." 

"Vincent?" 

"Yes?" 

"...yes." 

He gave a start and turned to look at her. "You really...?" Realizing he had no reason to doubt her answer, he stopped himself and asked instead, "Then... when?" 

"Once we get settled, I think. A small affair, of course. We've no need of anything showy." 

Vincent nodded. "I suppose we'll live in the mansion?" he wondered. 

"Yes, I think so. We'll have our work cut out for us, and it's too big for just the two of us, but we'll just have to have a lot of visitors." 

Another nod, and then he had to ask, "Did you really want that many children?" 

Lucrecia looked up at him with a laugh. "What, six? No, no... But I think I want one or two--if it's all right with you, that is." 

"If it makes you happy, my love, then I don't mind."

* * *

The flames danced brilliantly before his eyes, reminding him again of Nibelheim. He recalled all-too-vividly how he had set fire to the town, how effortlessly and thoughtlessly he had slain those in his way. Without that haze of madness, his memory of that day was probably clearer now than it had been then. 

But now the bonfire also reminded him of something else, much more recent. Had it only been a week since he had found Aeris here alone? What had drawn him to sit near her then, he did not know. Perhaps without his memory, he had not felt so guilty as he did now. Still, he should have known that she was afraid of him and let her be. Instead he had gone to her, and she had offered him words of solace in spite of her fear. 

Sephiroth glanced at her, then down at their joined hands, then back at the fire. Part of him maintained relentlessly that he did not deserve her, that she had healed him as much as he needed, and that he ought to break from her before he hurt her. He held this in check with the knowledge that she valued his friendship nearly as much as Cloud's and that separation would not only hurt him, but she would suffer, too. 

But didn't he bring her enough pain, if she could feel his every emotion? 

No. He was helping her, wasn't he? She found comfort in his presence, as he did in hers. He understood her, he could help her, and though he was so steeped in blood and guilt that he had difficulty even smiling for her, he would keep trying, for her. 

But what could he do about everyone else, who only saw him as a murderer and were unable to see what Aeris saw? He could not convince all of them, could he? Then again, his talk with Cloud earlier had done some good, hadn't it? Slow and painful process though it was, if he could convince _Cloud_ that he had changed, then perhaps something could be done about the others. And, he reflected, there were many who had come to trust him without any effort on his part--Minerva, Lucrecia, Vincent, Katrina, Yuffie, Nanaki... 

Wondering at this, he remarked aloud to Aeris, "The people who love me have the most reasons to hate me, the people who believe in me, the most reasons to fear me, and the people who confide in me, the most reasons to mistrust me." 

"You think so?" she wondered. 

Sephiroth nodded. "And I do not understand it in the slightest." 

Aeris smiled gently, though her eyes remained on the bonfire. "There are hundreds of reasons that bring a person to respond the way they do," she said. "Maybe some of us act on a belief that even killers should be given a second chance. Maybe some of us could not comprehend how anyone could do what you did, so, rather than deny you a soul, we wanted to understand what it was that drove you to do such things. Maybe we were just curious; maybe 'evil' wasn't enough for us, and we wanted to know if you were like the rest of us, with logic and emotions, vulnerability and strength, breaking points and breaking." 

She fell silent for a moment, but he sensed that she had not finished, so he waited. "And some of us," she went on softly, "thought we caught a glimpse of good somewhere in you, in some instant when the fire faded from your eyes and your voice went on as if reading some practiced script. You sat slumped and weary, reminding me of a boy, a boy I met a long time ago when he seemed older and younger at the same time, and it hurt to find that boy gone, replaced by this man who seemed at the same time a heartless killer and an empty shell searching for some long-forgotten haven." 

Sephiroth brushed away the lone tear that had begun a slow journey down her cheek, surprised to feel it with his bare fingers. He nearly recoiled at the thought of tainting her, but her words echoed in his mind: _These hands are clean, these hands are clean._ "You saw all that?" he asked. 

"I saw it, yes," she answered, at last meeting his gaze. "But it's not the sort of thing that registers, consciously I mean. It was only a feeling then, and I couldn't grasp it, and you never wavered for long, so I forgot about it, like a dream, until now." 

He looked away, lowering his hand to his lap. "Is that why you were smiling when you died?" 

"Maybe," she said. "I thought that there must be something of you left, to make you hesitate like that. Even so, I knew you would go through with it. But I had to stop you, to show you I wasn't afraid, to make it clear to you how wrong you were. Some part of me knew you'd kill me. I thought... I was ready." 

"But you wanted to live," he stated. 

"Yes. I wanted to live, I wanted to see Cloud again, I wanted... everything any normal person wants. But I pushed all that out of my mind until I saw him standing there in front of me. And then you..." 

"I'm sorry," he murmured, hanging his head. "If I had waited one moment longer, I might have chosen not to jump. I might have realized there was no point in killing you if you had already succeeded. I... I'm sorry..." 

"You don't need to apologize. You know I've forgiven you." 

Sephiroth shook his head slowly. "But I need to apologize to myself, too. To that part of myself that I did not heed, the part that felt that to kill you would be to kill whatever was left of myself. That part of me has not forgiven me, and I don't know if it ever will. Gods, Aeris, I just want to be able to forgive myself..." 

"Should that be so hard?" Aeris wondered. "Maybe you killed me, but if you hadn't... would we be here now, talking like this?" 

"Don't tell me you'd rather have lost five years and be with me than have lived and gone with Cloud." 

"I'm beginning to think it's better this way. Tifa needs him, I don't. You, though... maybe I need you to heal me, like I've done for you." 

He did not reply. 

"Well!" she said, forcing a smile. "I think you know my reasons for befriending you. Who were you really confused about?" 

"Nanaki and especially Yuffie," he said, shaking his head. 

"Hmm," Aeris mused. "Well, Nanaki is easy enough. He kept on with Cloud because he wanted to defend the Planet. It had nothing to do with revenge until my death, and even then I'm not sure he could've really hated you. He knew Hojo almost as well I did, after all, and more than that, he's always been very understanding, wise beyond his years, but still innocent and eager to accept your change of heart." 

"And Yuffie? She certainly had revenge to exact." 

"For destroying the Wutai she knew as a child? I guess so. But, I've seen how she's welcomed you. Maybe she's decided to give you a chance to make up for your actions." 

"Why should _she_ be one to give me another chance?" 

"Why not? I think, maybe, that she learned that from us. Even though she stole from us from the first, we lent her our trust. And even when she betrayed that, we accepted her apology and let her come with us to redeem herself. We did the same for Cait Sith." 

"And so she is willing to do the same for me? To allow the man who should have her deepest hatred the chance to gain her forgiveness?" 

"Why withhold that kindness from others when she knows what it's like to have it for herself?" 

Sephiroth nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps we should go to Wutai then, to help her rebuild." 

Aeris raised her eyebrows. "Do you really mean that?" 

He shrugged. "It's a thought." 

"Well, I guess we'll put Wutai back on our list of possibilities anyway." 

He glanced at her with a smirk. "Not much help at narrowing it down, am I?" 

"Not really," she admitted. "But that's all right." After a pause, she said, "Say, I wanted to talk to Minerva before we left. Do you mind?" 

"Not at all; I'm sure it won't take long. What did you want to talk to her about?" 

She smiled. "Oh, it's about Reno, mostly. And besides, I'd like to get to know your family." 

Sephiroth regarded her with some amusement. "Perhaps I should talk to Reno then...?" 

"Yes, maybe you should," Aeris agreed. "I'm sure it'd do you both good, especially because Reno seems a little protective of me himself. Not nearly as much as Cloud, but still--he'd probably feel more at ease if he knew you." 

"All right," he replied, getting to his feet and ignoring his reluctance. "I'll go find them." 

"I'll look, too," she said, standing with him. 

He shook his head. "No; I'm the one with no social skills, aren't I? If you get caught spying on them or interrupt their conversation, they won't be pleased, but it's expected of me." 

She laughed. "Oh, all right. Go find them and then report back to me, okay?" 

"Yes, ma'am," Sephiroth replied, hopping down from the Candle to find the pair.

* * *

"How did you become a Turk?" Minerva was asking. She stood against the wall of the stairs opposite him, more comfortable in its shade than in the warm sun where he stood. 

"You think they should've rejected me?" Reno asked with a grin, taking it as a joke. 

She shook her head and elaborated patiently, "No, I mean, what were the circumstances, and why did you agree to do such things as are commonplace for a Turk?" 

"Well, you know it was Tseng who found me. It was in a bar in Sector 6. I was stone drunk at the time 'cause I'd just lost a job, and royally pissed off, and then in comes Tseng. Come to think of it, he must've been visiting Aeris or something, 'cause they used to be friends, but anyway, I'm told I picked a fight with him, gods know why. He whooped my ass pretty good, but he thought he saw something he liked, so he had me detained until I'd sobered up and then offered me a job with Shinra." 

"And you took it?" 

He shrugged. "I was a kid, young and stupid, and moreover, I was a slums kid; I couldn't resist the prospect of that kind o' money. So I got trained to be a cold-blooded killing machine." 

"How could you bear it?" 

"I couldn't really quit once I got sick of it. I mean, Turks get trusted with a lot of Shinra's secrets, so it's not like they'd've let me go alive. So mostly I just paid more and more frequent trips to Midgar's various bars." 

"Did you ever disobey your orders?" she wondered. 

"Yeah, sorta," he replied. "Not straight-out, but I didn't exactly perform to the best of my abilities." 

"What was the circumstance?" 

"Shinra wanted me to capture the last surviving Ancient, and you know Aeris. Once I saw her, bent over her flowers in that church of hers--ah, hell, how was I supposed to capture _her_?" He started when he realized what he had said and chanced a look at Minerva. "Sorry, Min," he said, though she did not look bothered. 

"What are you apologizing for?" 

"Talking about Aeris like that in front of _you_." 

Minerva shrugged. "Talk about her however you want. You should not have to lie to me." 

"Right, right, it's just that, well... I guess I expected you to care when I talk about other women." He grinned sheepishly. "Most women hurt me when I do that." 

"What for? I'd much rather you be honest with me." 

Reno could only shake his head. "You're really one of a kind, Min." 

She folded her arms in discomfort and prompted, "So what did you do rather than capture her?" 

"Every now and then I made a pretend effort to catch her, but I always let her get away. I wasn't about to turn her over to Hojo, and the more I got to know her, the surer I was about that decision." 

"How did you get to know her when your orders were to capture her if you saw her?" 

"Unlike you, I got off-duty time, so I didn't always have to act on those orders. Shinra expected its Turks to do it anyway, but they couldn't really do anything to me if I didn't. Not like for you; even the slightest breaking of the rules meant pain for you, didn't it?" 

"I should have been able to bear it." 

"You shouldn't've had to try." 

"But circumstances dictated that I had to, and I was too weak to do it." 

"Nobody can be impervious to pain, Min." 

She broke his gaze. "But I should have been able to--and yet, I did not want to. I would rather hurt others than face pain myself. How is that all right?" 

"You tried," he insisted. "You did your best." 

Minerva shook her head. "No, I didn't. I would not have had to take it for long. I... could have brought you to the door and born the pain until I passed out. I could have done it then, had I really tried. I could have--" 

"Min, it's okay," he interrupted, moving closer to her. "Everything turned out fine. We pulled through, you fought your demons, and you won't have to face that anymore. It's all okay." 

"No, it isn't. My mother is dead, Jenova yet lives, and you are falling in love with me. What are you doing, Reno? I am nothing to fall in love with. I have nothing to give you--no healing words, no entertaining stories, nothing. What are you doing?" 

"Exactly what I should be doing," he answered, wrapping his arms around her. Somehow she seemed so small, so vulnerable, in his arms. "You're more than what you say; you should know that." 

"I do," she conceded. "But I am considerably less than what you think me to be." 

"Nah." 

"I'm afraid you will be disappointed." 

He held her closer. "I doubt it." 

"And if you are?" 

"I'll get over it. It's not like I haven't already been in a million failed relationships." 

"I would rather not make it a million and one." 

"That's sweet, Min, but if you're trying to make me leave you alone, it won't work. I like you, and I'm not giving up on you without a fight." 

Minerva did not reply. Instead she pulled away from him, trying to step back but finding the wall just behind her. She pressed back into it anyway, trying to get as far from him as she could, and folded her arms in front of her for protection. 

"What is it?" Reno asked, stepping back to give her the space she wanted. "Did I say something wrong?" 

She shook her head. "I only felt..." She frowned and did not finish. 

"Felt what?" 

"It doesn't matter." 

He sighed, but decided to leave her be. She could tell him in her own time. "Anyway," he said, trying to find a lighter topic. "What're you gonna do after Jenova's dead?" 

"Don't know," she clipped with a shrug. After a moment she managed, "Where do you plan on going?" 

Reno put his hands behind his head and leaned against the wall beside her. "If I go back to Junon with Rude, Reeve, and Elena, will you come with?" 

"I suppose. I've nowhere else to go." 

"Where do you think Sephiroth will go?" he asked, figuring the two of them had some sort of bond. 

"Wherever Aeris goes," she replied, straightening and letting her hands fall to her sides. 

"You going somewhere?" Reno asked at the abrupt motion. 

"Off by myself," she answered with a glance at him. 

"Oh," he said, disappointed but not particularly surprised. "I guess I'll see you around then." 

Minerva strode off without replying. He watched her go, then sighed and closed his eyes. She had almost let her guard down, _almost_, but then she had backed away. Was she afraid of being so open to him? Afraid of admitting that she actually did need someone around, that she couldn't be as strong as she wanted? He didn't doubt her strength, but if she kept herself distant from everyone, eventually she'd break. He didn't want her to break. 

The sounds of the village filtered through his thoughts; people were making their rounds of the nearby shops, buying the essentials and the occasional trinket or long-desired item. By now probably some of them had seated themselves at the Candle and were talking quietly, adding to the soft murmur of voices. 

Minerva didn't seem to fit in this kind of place. She was much too self-contained. These people took speaking to one another as a daily, thoughtless action. Minerva found it an awkward, serious affair, rare and always with some purpose. 

Maybe he could ask Aeris about all this. After all, she'd figured out how to make Sephiroth comfortable in this sort of world, hadn't she? And maybe she could help Reno sort out some of his own feelings, ones he wasn't quite confident enough to discuss with Minerva. And, of course, he really had to ask her about whatever was going on between her and Sephiroth. Totally weird. 

With that purpose in mind, Reno opened his eyes and pushed off from the wall. 

"I see you have taken a liking to my sister." 

Startled, he whirled around to see Sephiroth perched on the stairs above him. It seemed someone had been thinking along the same lines as he had. Well, he decided, it was probably better he talk to Sephiroth anyway. He'd be a lot more comfortable if he had some epithet besides 'homicidal maniac' for the swordsman. "And now I have to deal with the protective older brother?" he wondered. 

Sephiroth hopped down and regarded him with some amusement. "Minerva can take care of herself. I am merely curious." 

"So how long were you up there?" 

"Not long." 

He nodded slightly, hoping that meant the swordsman hadn't seen him holding Minerva. "So, what do you want?" 

"To know you." 

"So you can see if I'm good enough for her?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "No. So that her life won't be foreign to me." 

"Now that you have family, you want to be close to them?" 

"Something like that." 

"How is she your sister anyway? Don't you guys have different parents?" 

He shrugged. "It does not matter if she is or not; I will continue to think of her that way." 

"Okay," Reno said. He leaned back against the wall, studying the swordsman with curiosity and some wariness. "So how's it goin' with Aeris?" 

"We get along well, if that is what you mean," the swordsman said uncertainly. 

"No, I mean, how well do you know her?" 

"Better than most." 

The redhead arched an eyebrow. "Even Cloud?" he wondered. 

Sephiroth scoffed. "Perhaps Cloud cared, but he did not know her." 

"Kissed her yet?" 

He started, his cool demeanor flaking. "What?" 

"Have you kissed her yet?" 

"What business is it of yours?" the swordsman asked angrily. 

Reno smirked. "I'll take that as a yes." 

Sephiroth frowned, but he did not deny it. "What difference does it make to you, anyway?" 

"I was just curious about how far your relationship's gotten. _I_ never got around to kissing her, you see. And I'm usually pretty quick to jump into that, so I figure you've gotta be really close to her to think you can kiss her without feeling like you're violating her somehow." 

The swordsman shifted uncomfortably. 

He raised his eyebrows. "What, you felt like that anyway?" 

"When you hate yourself, it is hard not to." 

"You hate yourself?" 

"It has softened to a strong dislike by now," Sephiroth answered. 

Reno smirked again. "So anyway, what did you want? Some dirt on me an' Min or something? Sorry to disappoint--I haven't kissed her yet." 

"Of course you haven't," the swordsman replied. "She would never let you close enough for that so soon." 

"You're right about that. But I'm not even sure she knows what a kiss _is_." 

"She does. She asked me about it." 

He laughed, finding this particularly hilarious. "Now, that's like a little sister to do. 'Hey, Seph, what's a kiss?' And then maybe you'd freak if you'd just kissed Aeris, and she'd look at you weird, and--" He stopped when he realized that Sephiroth was laughing softly. "What's so funny?" 

"I think I can see why they let you into the Turks," he said. "Despite your attitude, you are quite bright." 

Reno looked at him askance. "I'm not sure whether that's a compliment or an insult." 

The swordsman smirked. "Take it as a compliment. I don't tell people they are bright unless they really are." 

"And where do you rank yourself on the intelligence scale?" 

"Fairly low, actually. Believing Hojo's lies and going mad lost me some points." 

He nodded in sage agreement. "Yeah, disregarding logic does indicate low intelligence. But you're making up for it, I guess. Who knows? Maybe someday you'll be as smart as me." 

Sephiroth scoffed. "Actually I thought that I would surpass you again soon enough." 

"Did you have that opinion before or after you decided I was bright?" 

"After." 

"Oh. Well, screw you." 

"Interesting. When all else fails, you resort to crude language." 

"Law of the slums," Reno told him. "What else've you learned about me?" 

"When you're not trying to be a bastard, you can be quite amicable. I can see why Minerva likes you." 

"Crude language and all?" 

"Yes." 

"Cool. Can you explain it to me?" 

"Take it up with her. It is better that way." 

Reno ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah. It's one of the few things she _has_ told me." 

"Give her time." 

"You think you know her better than I do?" 

Sephiroth shrugged. "Perhaps. But I do know what growing up as a laboratory specimen does to a person." 

The redhead frowned skeptically. "Minerva'd probably say you've been through more than her, but I doubt you were as neglected as lonely as you'd like to think." 

"Why would I want to think myself neglected?" 

"To get other people's sympathy. I mean, I can't blame you for wanting something like that with how everybody hates you, but really, you've had two or three 'mom''s, you had thousands of people who really looked up to you, you had the position, the fame, the money, the freedom--everything. So what's the big deal?" 

There was a warning in Sephiroth's green eyes. "Money had little worth for me, I detested the fame, and I held the position only because it was the only thing I was ever any good at. You speak of freedom, but when you know no other life, it does not seem as though you've anywhere else to go." 

"But it's your fault if you never reached out." 

"I did not think I needed anyone." 

Reno sighed in exasperation. "You thought you were strong enough to make it alone?" 

"Yes." 

"What is it with you two and this need to be strong?" he demanded. 

"Those who lack any real strength need any illusion of it they can find," Sephiroth said, his tone cool though his eyes still shone emerald, "whether it is to take pride in their isolation or to pretend they are superior to those who refuse to actually know them." 

"But Minerva _is_ strong," Reno insisted. "What does she need an illusion for?" 

"She does not think herself to be strong. She still believes that she cannot trust, let alone rely on, anyone, so she pushes you away. I suppose she considers it better for the both of you." 

"Neither of us gets hurt," he concluded flatly. 

"That is the idea anyway," Sephiroth agreed. 

"Do you do that, too?" 

The swordsman shrugged and looked away. "I used to." 

"Did Aeris get you to stop?" 

He nodded. "She would not let me be alone." 

"Figures. Oh, by the way, where _are_ you going after, you know, we kill Jenova?" 

"Wherever Aeris goes," Sephiroth replied with a smirk, reminding Reno that he had been listening before. "We haven't decided yet." 

"But you are sticking together, huh?" 

"Of course." 

"Must be kinda tough with your reputation," the redhead remarked, realizing that wherever the swordsman went, he would be known as a murderer. Turks were murderers, too, but only their uniform had been recognizable. Too, it occurred to him that, though the destruction of Sector 7 made Reno responsible for nearly as many deaths as the swordsman, Sephiroth had killed far more of his victims personally. He could probably recall hundreds of faces--a much harder thing to live with. 

Sephiroth nodded in acknowledgment. "Here, people know I have changed. A few of them I might even call friends. But this is one of the few places I did not touch. Others will not be so forgiving." 

"How do you plan on getting by?" Reno wondered. "I seriously doubt anyone would hire you, but I don't recommend freeloading; that tends to come with a lot of threats about kicking you out." 

The swordsman ignored his jest. "I suppose we'll figure something out. If I were on my own it would not matter, but Aeris has needs that I do not." 

"Well, however you do it, just take care of her. She seems to like you." With that, Reno grinned and gave the taller man a clap on the shoulder just for the hell of it, freezing for an instant when he saw Sephiroth's hand jerk up instinctively. His expression had gone cold. 

The redhead stepped back, grinned an apology, and walked off. He wondered if he was lucky that Sephiroth had managed to restrain himself. He wondered, too, what it was like to have that kind of instinct. He couldn't imagine being so wary of being _touched_. Sure, in a battle, he would be, but that was just that. For battles. Sephiroth and Minerva seemed to be that way all the time. Was life just one big fight, and everyone started off as an enemy, rather than a potential ally? 

No wonder they pushed everyone away, if they automatically assumed that everyone wanted to hurt them. And no wonder Minerva called him kind. In all her experience, he might as well have been the most gentle person she had ever known. And that was sad. 

But at least she didn't have to deal with the hatred and fear that Sephiroth did. Maybe for him, everyone really was an enemy at first. Maybe he did have it harder than Minerva. And maybe Reno would have to ask her to apologize for him. He'd been kind of a bastard to Sephiroth, and that wasn't exactly smart. (Who really knew how stable the guy was nowadays?) 

He guessed that acting like that was his own way of pushing people away. He was scared of people getting too close, too. It had started off as a fear of losing someone, but by now he was just so unused to anyone really _knowing_ him that he only avoided it out of discomfort. 

But he wasn't afraid of Minerva, and he was determined to make sure she was at ease with him--which probably meant he had to slow down. Fewer hugs, and definitely no kissing, not for a while. After all, she'd never had a friend before, much less a boyfriend. And Reno wanted to be her first, and--with a little luck--her only.

* * *

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," Aeris said as she sat down. She took a moment to situate herself and looked down at the village. "Sephiroth comes up here a lot, doesn't he?" 

Minerva nodded, watching the Cetra out of the corner of her eye and noticing her uncertainty. "You came to ask me something," she stated. "Go ahead and be blunt." 

Aeris smiled gratefully. "I wanted to talk to you about Reno, actually. Sometimes he'll do or say things that he shouldn't." 

"Why don't you talk to him? Isn't he your friend?" 

She shook her head. "He is, but I don't think he'd answer seriously if I asked him. I'd rather get it from your point of view anyway. I know you won't twist anything." 

Minerva frowned slightly, but she supposed this was true enough. Reno did seem to think that being able to talk honestly was something special. "He has proved to be a good friend," she responded finally, if a bit guardedly. 

"He's not moving too fast for you?" 

"No," she lied. She could handle Reno herself. "But are you moving too slowly for Sephiroth?" 

Aeris blinked, caught off-guard. "What do you mean?" 

"He needs an answer. He may act as though he does not mind, but he is debating it in his mind." 

Her expression fell. "...debating whether or not he's worthy of it, and whether I'm just being kind in saying I'm not sure, or if I really don't know." 

"He needs to know." 

She sighed. "I know, I know... I need to know, too." She shook her head and looked up with a smile. "But that's my problem. How have you been getting along? All of this must be very strange to you." 

"It is," Minerva agreed, wondering how Aeris could be so good at helping others solve their problems if she would scarcely even admit to her own. Did she think that, unlike those she helped, she could figure them out on her own? Minerva doubted it. Aeris just didn't think discussing it with her would help. "Reno and Sephiroth have been helping me to understand," she went on. 

The Cetra smiled fondly. "That's good. Sephiroth seems so much more confident than before. It's wonderful that he feels he can help others, even those he doesn't like." 

"You have done a great deal for him," the girl said. "But I confess I find it strange that you should have wanted to try in the first place." 

"Actually, _he_ approached _me_, although he didn't say anything at first. Me, I only spoke first because the silence scared me." 

"But you did not leave." 

"No, I didn't. And I'm glad. He's proved a wonderful friend. He understands me better than Cloud ever did." 

"And yet you do not love him," Minerva said harshly. 

"I never said that!" Aeris exclaimed. "I just..." 

"You aren't sure. But you were sure with Cloud." 

She shook her head. "No, I wasn't sure with Cloud. Not until..." 

"Until it was too late to tell him? Do you plan to wait that long with Sephiroth then?" 

The Cetra looked miserable at the accusation, and Minerva almost regretted saying it. Almost. "Of course I don't. But I... I don't want to tell him something that I'm not sure is true." 

"Then find out, please," the girl urged her in a gentler tone. "I do not want him to suffer any more than he already has." 

"I'll try," Aeris answered. "I know he deserves it, even if he doesn't think so." 

Minerva nodded, momentarily satisfied, and turned her gaze to the village. She had nothing more to say. 

After a moment, Aeris said suddenly, "Oh, by the way, do you know when Sephiroth's birthday is?" 

She blinked in surprise. "Why would it even matter?" 

Aeris laughed, seemingly aware of how irrelevant the question sounded to Minerva. "Because I'd like to be able to throw him a birthday party or something. I know he never had any growing up." 

Shaking her head, Minerva answered, "It is January 19th, I believe." 

"Thanks," the Cetra said, bowing her head and then getting to her feet. "Well, that's all I wanted to bother you with... But Minerva, if you ever need someone to talk to..." 

"Then I can come to you," she finished. "You offer your counsel to everyone, Aeris, but who do you run to when your own mind is in turmoil?" 

She smiled. "Don't worry about me. I find myself when I'm finding others. I can't help them if I don't even understand myself." 

"What about Sephiroth?" the girl prompted. 

Aeris understood, of course, and she shook her head. "It's just that... I've never fallen so quickly before. It's disorienting." 

"You will find your bearings again." 

"I think you've helped a little, actually, but I still need some time to think." 

Minerva nodded and watched her as she smiled a goodbye and disappeared down the ladder. Once Aeris had gone, she turned her gaze back to the village, frowning minutely. Everything would be so much simpler if this inexplicable feeling called 'love' did not exist. But then, wouldn't its absence make everything unbearably dull? 

Even so, she did not think she wanted to get caught up in it. That Reno seemed to be falling in love with her worried her greatly. What was she supposed to do with someone who loved her? What if she found herself incapable of loving him back? After all, what did she know of emotion? 

She could see how it was tormenting Sephiroth. She did not want the same to happen to Reno. But what could she do to stop it? Pull away? And yet, she found that she did not want to.

* * *

Jenova sat in the snow at the top of a slope, watching the children playing below her. She had taken on a human appearance so she could come here without much notice. Her skin was pale, her hair a silken brown very close to black, and her eyes, though no one noticed them, remained a pale pink. She had wrapped herself in a heavy coat, more for the sake of appearance than because she was cold. 

_Fragile little human things_, she thought as her gaze followed the children below. Their thick garments made them look stiff and their limbs unwieldy. They were building a snowman--to what purpose, she had no idea. Why weren't these infants learning what they could as Sephiroth had done? As the children of her own race had done? This play was useless. 

And yet, they seemed to take such great pleasure at the accomplishment. Was that, then, the only purpose? To make them happy? She had never understood activities meant solely for bringing joy. Knowledge brought joy, power brought joy, _purpose_ brought joy. And these little humans--they had none of it. They were content without it. 

How in hell could they be so blithe? 

They put so much value in 'friendship,' in 'understanding,' in 'love.' But human emotions were so shallow, so fickle. They never really understood each other, only cared about each other because the other's presence amused them, only loved out of a combination of that so-called friendship and a base physical attraction. It was so obvious, so why couldn't Sephiroth see it? 

He had too much human in him. He was too caught up in their emotions and pretty ideas. Only, she thought, perhaps he was truly capable of those emotions. Not some pretension like the humans made, but a sincere feeling, and that was what truly galled her. That he might really and truly _love_ the Cetra. And what of this Aeris creature? Was she, too, capable of being what the humans only pretended? 

Perhaps that was why Sephiroth was so taken with her. 

But the Cetra she had known, they had been just like the humans. So how could this Aeris girl be so far superior? Or had Gast managed to produce another as brilliant as Sephiroth? 

However it had happened, both brilliant minds believed that the humans were as deep as they claimed to be. And all of them condemned her. All of them labeled her as evil without a single thought as to her motives. Couldn't they see what hypocrites they were? To pretend to be so accepting, and still shun her? To cast her away without hope of forgiveness, even though she was really no worse than Sephiroth? Couldn't they comprehend that she, too, had thought she was justified in killing such a petty race? 

...not that she wanted or needed their forgiveness. She had gotten on fine without it. She only wished that Sephiroth would realize his mistake and come back to her. She rather missed being able to talk civilly to someone. Minerva had been a pain from the start, always so _stubborn_. 

Perhaps if she pretended to be 'human,' then Sephiroth would take her back. 

_He_ take _her_ back? What was she thinking? He was lucky that she was still willing to take him back. Still, she was terribly fond of the boy. Or at least, she enjoyed the company of his thoughts. Even now, his responses were not so cruel as Minerva's. Sometimes he was actually willing to listen, almost like he wanted to understand her, as Aeris seemed to understand him. 

But he hated her. He had said it many times and in many ways. She thought perhaps she knew now why he valued acceptance so highly--the hatred hurt. With anyone else it was tolerable, but to have Sephiroth hate her did hurt. Unlike him, however, she was not going to change just for him. 

Or was she? 

Even if she changed, though, they would still come to kill her. 'Sorry,' they'd say, 'but this is for the good of the Planet. You've lived long enough, haven't you?' As a parasite on the Planet, if she lived, it would eventually die. If she died, then the Planet would live, but she would have no place on it. Or was all that just a lie? Who could tell anyway? 

But the speculation no longer mattered. She could die; she knew that. Sephiroth knew that. 

So she was going to die, and those whom she cared about most were going to kill her. It was a depressing thought. She wrapped her arms around her knees, a gesture that she had seen Sephiroth make many times, when he was feeling vulnerable. 

Part of her was very tired, tired of the suspicion, the hatred, tired of being doubted, of being alone. Sephiroth was all she had, and he hated her. But wasn't loneliness a human idea? Or had her kind simply never thought of it because their very physical nature would never allow them to be alone? 

_It's over, Jenova._ Yes, it was over. But she wasn't about to go without a fight. And she wanted to go in her own way.

* * *

Author's Notes  
I don't think the Vincent/Lucrecia scene originally occurred until a full chapter later... which makes _no_ sense whatsoever, considering it takes place just after the scene where Seph asks about his father. --;; A perfect example of LFA's lack of chronology, I guess. 

Also, I don't know why, but I'm almost obsessively fascinated by that brief scene where they confront Sephiroth in the room of murals--you know, when they find him sitting slumped by the altar and he slowly gets to his feet. I think I've referenced it in every one of my AeriSeph fics where it applies, because I love it that much. Anyway, this AeriSeph scene used to be longer because it had a bunch of stuff about the Lifestream in it which I felt was necessary to tie off some loose ends. But... really it wasn't, so I've cut most of it, and worked the few relevent parts into other scenes. Hooray. 


	33. Imperfect Surrender

**Chapter 32: Imperfect Surrender**

_I have been thinking as you told me to_, Jenova said quite suddenly.

Sephiroth blinked in surprise. _Have you? _

_Yes. And I think that you only hate me because you believe the humans' pretenses. You think they really are what they say. _They_ think they really are what they say. _

_Then who is to say they aren't? _

_They try to analyze themselves, come up with reasons for everything, and then accept them. They act on instinct and then rationalize that to themselves._

Sephiroth shrugged. _Isn't instinct the process of thought too fast for the conscious mind to register? _

_Perhaps, but they make too much of it. They complicated it when it is really quite simple. They think their emotions are so deep and pure, and their thoughts so profound. _

_Then you think love is simply sexual attraction, and comprehension only the accepting of lies? _

_You still don't get it, do you? _

_Apparently not. But do go on. This is more amusing than your usual vein. _

_Amusing!_ she cried indignantly. _I suppose it is for you, isn't it? You like to refute my words, whatever they are. It's only a game to you, and I am nothing more than this damned voice in your head. I wish you would even think of me as you thought of Hojo! _You_'re capable of understanding, and you figured him out. Or do I have to die for you to be willing? _

_You want me to understand you? Then why don't you show me what really happened with the Cetra?_

She did not reply.

_You don't want to, do you? _

_But I'm certain you can make something even out of my silence_, Jenova said, and then added dryly, _So could Aeris, I suppose. _

_Aeris cannot talk to you. But you want me to? Fine. Your refusal to speak for any length on that topic indicates that you've been lying about it for a long time, and also that the experience did hurt you. You don't want to talk about it, and you don't want anyone to know what really happened. Perhaps you're even ashamed of it now. _

_I am _not_ ashamed_, she muttered.

_Denial_, he commented simply.

Annoyed, she changed the topic. _How do you intend to find me tomorrow so your little band can kill me? _

_I have a fair guess at where you are now, and perhaps I know your mind well enough to guess where you might go from there. You cannot move as quickly as I can. _

_I may not be able to teleport like you, but I can move very quickly when I need to._

He knew it was true; she had, after all, managed to keep up with him when he had made his own jumps from place to place. So with the warning his mind would give her by concentrating for the spell, she could easily be far gone by the time he got there. She would always know where he was headed and have enough time to get away. He frowned in frustration.

_Quite a difficulty, isn't it?_ Jenova asked, sounding self-satisfied.

_You cannot run forever. _

_Oh, I think I can. You'll tire out long before I do; I feed off the Planet, and you don't, remember? I suppose that also means that the longer you keep up the chase, the more energy I take from the Planet. How interesting._

A plan lay half-formed in his mind, and he shoved it into a remote corner of thought before Jenova could see it. He frowned again, partly because of her mockery and partly because of what he might have to do.

_Ah, my dear boy. It would be so much simpler if you just came back to me... _

_Simpler perhaps, but not right._

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Minerva sit down on the steps beside him. "Are you arguing with her also?" she asked.

He nodded slightly.

_That's right; you find the harder path more noble. Nothing is allowed to be black and white. _

_Because nothing _is_ black and white. I've learned that well by now. Now shut up. I want to talk to Minerva. _

_Fine, fine. Speak to your daughter._

Sephiroth started. _Daughter?_ he repeated, but Jenova gave him no reply. He glanced at Minerva, who sat silently beside him, waiting until he had cleared Jenova from his mind. With a frown he turned his attention to the Candle below.

Did it change anything if she was his daughter? Was he now obligated to treat her as one? _Do fathers normally hug their children, too?_ he remembered her asking. So she knew--of course she knew. But what was a father supposed to do? He had no example to follow. He knew only how to be a friend to her, and that would have to be enough for now.

"You should stop pushing him away," he said finally, not looking at her. "Any pain he brings you will be worth it in the end."

"So you have spoken to him," she concluded with a glance in his direction.

"Yes."

She scoffed, turning away again. "It is my decision whether or not to let him close."

"He wants to be close to you, and I think you want him close also, but you are afraid it might hurt you--whether it be your pride or your heart."

"My pride?" she queried.

Sephiroth looked at her, trying to draw her gaze. "You seem to think that having a relationship will make you appear weak, as though you need to rely on someone."

She only shrugged.

"You should know you are the only one who cares about that. If you don't have to be alone, don't."

Minerva sighed and lowered her head. "I thought for the longest time that in loving someone, one had to deal with their failings, but you share everything, don't you? So that your combined strengths can dispel your combined weaknesses."

"Something like that," he agreed softly.

"Even Aeris is afraid to take that final step, I think," Minerva remarked, studying him thoughtfully. "She cannot bare herself entirely. Indeed, it seems that you are the bravest of us all."

He shook his head. "Hardly. I still keep things from her. I--"

"You would answer any question she asked of you," the girl interrupted, "do anything she wanted you to. I think that is as open as one can be." She closed her eyes. "Me, I have secrets to keep."

"Secrets can be shared amongst a select few. Often, it is easier to bear them that way; you share the weight of them, and your confidant can mend you if the keeping of them caused you pain."

Minerva shook her head as she looked up. "But I want mine to die with me."

"Reno can keep secrets, to his death if need be. Yet some things you do not have to confide; people will figure them out on their own." He looked at her pointedly.

"So you know that much," she said, catching his meaning. "Perhaps you will figure out the rest, but I have no desire to tell you myself."

They sat in silence for a moment, Sephiroth weighing something in his mind. "There is something I need to do," he said at last. "You will understand it soon enough. Explain it to Aeris if she does not. And... I want to show you something in case I do not get another chance."

Minerva tilted her head. "What is it?"

"A memory of mine that should be of some importance to you," he answered, closing his eyes and waiting until he sensed Minerva's consent to push the moment into her mind.

_Talya lay slumped against a control panel, her tangled red hair falling into her face and fluttering with each ragged breath she drew. Blood had splattered her face, some of it her own, her clothes were soaked black with it, and a stray feather clung to a thin stream of blood that had made its way down her arm. _

_Not far away were Vincent and Nanaki, but neither could afford to pay her any attention after Vincent's struggle with Chaos. So it was only Sephiroth who came to crouch down before her, a frown set on his face. _

_"I am sorry about all this," he said quietly, looking over her wounds. _

_"It's... all right," she replied with considerable effort. "And I know... what you're thinking--don't bother..." _

_He shook his head. "But if I don't heal you, you will die." _

_"I know." _

_"You want to die?" _

_"You think it's... selfish of me? Fine. If you want me... to live, go ahead. You're... the only one... who cares." _

_"That's not true. Minerva will care. Vincent will care. Why do you want to die?" _

_She shut her eyes. "Maybe you can... live through each day... remembering how you hurt the people you--love... because you're strong like that... but I can't." _

_"Talya..." _

_"I know I... screwed you up. Can you even bear... to be touched now?" _

_"I know you did what you could. I forgive you for what you were forced to do, and I am sure that Minerva can do the same once she comes to understand you." _

_"Minerva... doesn't give a damn. I let her down. Should've... run off when I had the chance. Taken you with me..." _

_"She cares. Otherwise your actions wouldn't hurt her so much. So please, Talya--I can't keep you alive if you don't want to live." _

_She opened her eyes and tried to grin, but it looked more like a grimace. "Sorry, Seph. I'm too weak, just like Min always thought. Tell Valentine... Tell Vincent... that I'm sorry I never tried... to help him out. And... if you ever see your mom... tell her I'm sorry... I didn't do a better job. Take care of Aeris... like you always tried to. Oh, gods, and tell Min I love her..." _

_"I will," he answered. "And I am sorry, too. For so long, you were my only friend, and I've been so cruel to you." _

_"Don't worry about it, Seph... I love you anyway. It's hard to hate you... when you see what you've... been through." _

_"I wish everyone could see it that way," he murmured. _

_"Aw, come on... you'd be surprised." She took a shuddering breath and let it out. "Could you... do me one favor?" _

_"Anything." _

_"Smile for me? Don't think I've... ever seen you smile... except in mockery..." _

_The request surprised him, but he tried for her, to smile. The attempt felt awkward and false, but she grinned a little anyway. _

_"Thanks..." _

_"Goodbye, Talya..." _

_"Bye, Seph."_

He let the memory fade and looked at Minerva, but she kept her gaze lowered.

"Why didn't you show me before?" she asked.

"You weren't ready to see it," Sephiroth replied.

She nodded. "I suppose not," she said, getting slowly to her feet as though she wanted to find someplace to think. "I thank you. That... changes things."

Sephiroth stood with her. "One more thing," he said, and after a moment's hesitation, he put his arms around her in an awkward embrace. He was surprised when she returned it.

As he stepped back, she looked up at him steadily. "You have nothing to apologize for; you did not even know I existed. And... I think I would prefer it if we continued as brother and sister. No one needs to know, unless one of us chooses to share the secret."

"Agreed."

"Now go spend whatever time you have left with Aeris. Stay the night here, with her, if you can."

"I will," he answered. "Do you know where I can find her?"

"Try the observatory," Minerva replied, motioning behind her with a toss of her head.

Sephiroth nodded and turned to walk up the stairs and into the canyon.

* * *

It was strange to feel close to the Planet here, with its surface far below her, a metal balcony beneath her feet, and the hum of machinery behind her. But this machine had been made to hear the Planet's cries, and it ran by the power of the wind, not by sucking life from the Planet. It was a strange thing, built by human hands--_Shinra_ hands, no less--and yet it did no harm. It had found a place here. 

"Planet?" Aeris whispered softly, leaning against the observatory's railing and looking far out over the canyon. When she felt its attention, she went on. "I wanted to ask you if... if Sephiroth could live and do you no harm."

_His life hurts me not. Only the Crisis from the Sky pains me._

"Are you glad that he's going to kill her?"

_Very. Knew he would redeem himself._

"So you've forgiven him?"

_I have._

"But I suppose the Cetra haven't," Aeris sighed.

_Do not worry, child. All will settle in time. Some have forgiven him already. You bore one of the greatest accusations of all, yet you chose not to use it against him._

"That would be cruel, to shoot him down when he was so eager to change."

_But, daughter, it takes a strong heart not to carry such grudges. I do not quite comprehend your emotions, but I can watch. Very few can do as you have done._

Aeris smiled. "What do you make of him, Planet?"

She felt a soft laughter spread through her, like a breeze over tall grasses and wildflowers. _Such a beautiful thing, this love. He has a good soul. Scarred, but true. I myself will do what I can for him._

The response seemed strange, but she nodded as though she understood. "Thank you," she said.

The Planet's presence left her, and she stood silently at the rail, looking out at the stretch of red canyon before her and the clear afternoon sky that met it at the horizon. What was it that the Planet had hinted at? she wondered. Despite its tone--if that was the word for it--its words made her slightly uneasy.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

She started and turned to look at Sephiroth, who had just stepped out onto the balcony with her and stood uncertainly with one hand still on the door. She smiled, abandoning her anxious train of thought, and motioned him over. "Not at all."

He came to stand beside her, but not too close, and looked out at the view, saying nothing.

"We still haven't figured out where to go," Aeris said after a moment. "I've been thinking, and the places you could do the most good would be Midgar and Wutai."

Sephiroth nodded. "Midgar is completely in shambles... I wonder what they would make of my aiding them, as I was the one who caused the disaster to begin with?"

"They'll consider it only proper," she decided. "You made the mess, so you ought to clean it up."

"I suppose so. But... If we went to Wutai..." He frowned. "Yuffie may be willing to give me another chance, but the rest won't be. Apologies will mean nothing to them; words do not make up for the grief I caused. They may not even allow me to aid them. They won't trust me. I suppose anywhere I go, I will have to face hateful gazes, but in Wutai especially."

"And why is that?" Aeris asked. "They may hold a grudge against you for being an efficient general, but they'll have to agree that it was war. People died on both sides; you were just trying to keep that loss of life from being heaviest among your troops."

"It was war," he agreed, "but I was on the wrong side. I should have seen that."

"How could you have?"

"I had a clear enough view of what Shinra did, Aeris. Perhaps I had forgotten how they had treated me, but I could still see what they did to others. What good did I do, protecting _that_?"

"I seem to remember that it wasn't until you came along that there were any clear victories. Without you, the war would have gone on a lot longer, with many more lives lost on both sides. Maybe you were fighting for the wrong side, but it was Shinra's management that was corrupt, not its soldiers. The quicker Wutai was defeated, the sooner your men could go home. It was either strangers who would die, or men who trusted you."

"I could have ended the war just the same if I had fought for Wutai as I should have."

Aeris frowned thoughtfully. "What would've happened to Midgar, if Wutai had won? What would have happened if Shinra had collapsed? Thousands would have lost their jobs. The people on the plate would have panicked, with their means of defense and support gone. The Mako reactors would have stopped running, and for the people in the slums, that would have meant darkness, starvation, even more crime than before, and who knows how long it would have been before someone unlocked the gates to let them out? Maybe Wutai was right, but you could have seen it and still fought for Shinra."

"...and yet something worse than that happened anyway, because of me. Both Wutai and Midgar fell in the end."

She turned towards him, peering into his face and hoping he would look at her. He didn't. "You didn't know that would happen when you fought for Shinra," she said.

"I was cold, Aeris," he deadpanned. "What did I care for either side?"

"Don't say that. How could their indifference hurt you if you didn't care about them?"

He did not reply for a long moment, then at last he shook his head and smiled faintly. "There is no use arguing with you when you have all the answers."

She laughed softly. "I only wish that were true."

His smile faded, and he glanced at her. "I told you before; I don't mind. You should stop worrying about it."

"I can't stop, Sephiroth. It's tearing at me, too."

He studied her thoughtfully. "Is that why you came up here?"

She nodded.

"Should I go?" he asked, already turning away from the rail.

Aeris caught his arm. "No. Stay. I... I want you to stay."

With a nod, Sephiroth stepped back to the railing. "Then I will."

"Back then," she said softly, "I would never have thought you could be so devoted."

"What _did_ you think of me then?"

She looked out at the horizon. "You know, I never really thought of you as working for Shinra... I guess, to me, you were just Midgar's protector, and that was all there was to it. Of course, most girls my age gave more thought to your looks."

The swordsman shook his head. "I always hated that."

"Well, you _are_ handsome," she laughed, "but I decided to be sensible and concede that you were out of my reach. Mom didn't like SOLDIERs much anyway."

"Hmm," was all he said.

"I'll have to introduce the two of you," Aeris told him, watching him closely.

"At least you haven't got an older brother," he replied.

"Oh, I think Cloud's bad enough, isn't he?"

Sephiroth smirked. "Yes, I suppose so."

"But he should know by now that I care about you. So he'll just have to get used to it."

The swordsman leaned forward over the railing. "I think he will always hate me. He is only civil with me for your sake."

"What about you?" she asked.

"I... have a lingering dislike for him, but I've very few reasons to hate the man. He was right, after all."

She sighed. "Please don't tell me you still hate yourself."

"It isn't hate," he said. "It is no longer strong enough to be called hate, but..."

Aeris laid a hand atop one of his. "And don't you ever tell yourself you aren't worthy of me, or that I would be better off without you, because neither is true."

"You've no idea how reassuring it is to hear you say that."

She smiled and squeezed his hand, and in the contented pause, she felt her stomach grumble and flushed in embarrassment.

"Hungry?" Sephiroth inquired, the expression on his face turning to amusement.

"I guess so," she answered. "Why don't we go get something to eat?"

He shook his head. "I don't need anything."

"Maybe, but you can eat just for the taste of the food, can't you?"

He only shrugged.

"Well, will you at least come keep me company then? If you don't mind, that is, because I'm sure watching someone eat is pretty boring."

"Nothing you do could ever bore me," he replied, releasing the railing and coming with her as she headed down to the inn.

"I wonder if they'll still give me a free meal," she mused as they approached the entrance. "They've been very generous to me the whole time I've been here. I think it's Nanaki's doing."

"Possibly. But the villagers really seem to love you. It might have been their own idea."

"You think so?"

He nodded.

"I'll have to thank them before we leave."

"We both shall have to thank them."

She glanced up at him, and they entered the common room in silence. It was busy this time of day, it being early evening, not long before sunset, but Aeris managed to find them seats at one of the tables, though they shared it with several villagers. She apologized for intruding, but they told her it was all right and welcomed the both of them with smiles before returning to their meals and their conversation. Sephiroth sat beside Aeris with reluctance and remained perfectly silent. His gaze was on the women nearby, and it seemed almost wary. She offered him a smile of reassurance, but he did not manage to return it.

The waitress seemed a little surprised upon finding the swordsman and the Cetra there, and she stumbled over some of her words as she asked what they would like. Aeris replied politely, but Sephiroth asked for nothing. The girl bobbed her head and hurried off to the kitchen.

Aeris shook her head. "It's surprising how nervous she was," she observed.

"Not really," Sephiroth said. "You're practically a celebrity here, and I am... well, me."

"I don't think she was afraid of you. Just nervous."

"Then it is surprising," he decided.

"Oh, come now," she said, "you don't look very threatening with _that_ posture."

The swordsman, sitting slightly slumped with chin in hand, quirked an eyebrow at her. "I don't?"

"That must be a terrible blow to your pride," she remarked, stifling a giggle.

"Not really," he replied lightly. "You forget that you're biased."

"Maybe. But if you want to pretend you still look all big and bad, that's fine with me."

Sephiroth only smirked.

Not long after, the serving girl returned with her food, and Aeris ate quickly, noticing Sephiroth's growing discomfort at being here. With everyone so animated around him, he seemed even more withdrawn than usual. He kept his mouth shut unless she spoke to him, and even then his responses were generally monosyllabic. His eyes roamed the room and found no safe haven.

As soon as she had finished, then, she got up to find the waitress with the swordsman as her shadow. "Excuse me," she said, catching the girl by the arm. "How much...?"

"Oh, no," she said in surprise. "We could never charge you, Miss Aeris."

"But--"

"Please, your meals are on the house, as are many of your friends.' It's the least we can do."

Aeris accepted this reluctantly and bowed her head in thanks. She and Sephiroth left the inn together and started slowly back up to the observatory.

"Thank you," Sephiroth said quietly as they walked.

She nodded, but glanced at him curiously. "Why was that so stifling for you? Hardly anyone so much as cast you a glare."

He shook his head slightly. "I have never felt at ease in a crowd. Even amidst so many people, I am still separate."

"That could change if you wanted it to," she said softly.

"Perhaps someday. But for now," he went on, feeling for her hand and cautiously taking it, "this is more than enough."

The gesture astonished her, but her shock quickly dissolved into a smile, and she let him lead her up to the ledge where he often sat alone.

"The sun's already set," she realized as she sat down.

Sephiroth sat down by her side, regarding her with some confusion. "The sun sets every day."

"But that doesn't make it any less beautiful."

"You don't think that you would ever tire of it?"

She shook her head. "It's never the same, really; each time, it feels like I'm seeing it for the first time. Maybe it's because I spent so many years under Midgar's plate, but I don't know."

"I once felt that way as a child, but now... It is hard to feel awe for simple things anymore."

"...I'll have to get you back your other wing, then, so you can fly again," Aeris murmured absently.

He blinked and looked at her. "What?"

She gave a start, not realizing that she had said that aloud. "I... um..." She quickly shook her head and looked away. "I had a dream, once, where you had only one wing. More of a nightmare, really, but..."

He turned away. "You had a nightmare about me?"

"No, no," she amended quickly, "that's not what I meant. It wasn't... Well... You died, and everyone said that I'd done it."

"Oh." The swordsman hesitated, lifting his eyes to the darkening sky. "I wonder what it feels like, to be blamed for a death and not actually to have done it."

"Not nearly as bad as having killed someone, I'm sure," Aeris reasoned, reluctantly. "At least you can still believe in yourself, even if no one else does."

"But for the murderers, who do they have, if not themselves?" He glanced at her. "I am lucky to have you to trust me, Aeris."

She looked down at her hands. "You wouldn't have really broken, without me... would you?"

"I don't know. But I could not have healed either. Once I had done what I could to make amends, I probably would have killed myself."

"Oh, Sephiroth," she sighed, leaning against his shoulder and looking up at the sky, in which a few stars were beginning to appear. "I'm so glad I got caught up in all this. If I hadn't... I'd still be looking for someplace to belong."

"Any of your friends would readily take you in."

"But I'm not sure I'd _belong_ with them. I never did, really. I was a good friend maybe, but an enigma to them all the same. Us, though, we can understand each other. My place is with you."

He did not reply.

After a time, she shifted to look up at him. "Is something wrong?"

Sephiroth shook his head. "I just... don't know what I can say to that."

"Oh," she said, and though something told her that that wasn't all, she named the feeling doubt and quickly dismissed it. She felt so comfortable here at his side, so safe, so content. Was this love? It seemed like it. And yet something still kept her from drawing that conclusion. Some fleeting thought that left her with this inexplicable doubt.

She felt a light touch on her arm, and when she made no protest, the touch strengthened to a firm but gentle arm around her, drawing her close. Aeris smiled and closed her eyes. She could stay like this forever, she thought. Here, she felt no warning in her heart, no need to hide anything, not even the discomfort of a friend's closed gaze of accepted misunderstanding. The Planet's anguish was but a dim pang in the deep recesses of her soul, and its hopeful song for the coming battle swelled in her heart.

And in this deep silence, with only the muted voices of the villagers far below, there were no weighted questions, no words to drown out her own, no hateful shouts to counter.

In this warmth, there was no cold machinery, no rough and uncaring hands, no black caress of lonely death.

There was only Sephiroth.

Unwanted thoughts reminded her that this peace was incomplete, that she still had not found her answer, that the past she shared with this man spoke of cold and solitude, that the Planet's gentle hum still held a note of worry. But she wanted to forget, just for a time, all those cares that bore down on her so heavily. Here in his arms, she had the freedom to do so. He would hold reality and duty at bay while she stepped free of them to explore this world of hopes and bring him back words of comfort.

Surely this undivided faith in him, this joy and hope for a future with him... wasn't this love? She thought of Cloud, and what that had felt like--the barely-suppressed excitement when he said her name, the comfort she had taken from his slightest smile, the fondness she had felt for even his annoying habits. Cloud, who had tried so hard to be a leader and been so boyish underneath. They had shared so much, and yet she hadn't known him nearly as well as she knew Sephiroth now.

Some of those feelings still remained, but she could not build this second life around him. Especially not when she wanted to build it around Sephiroth. Was this love? She would have answered yes quite readily had there not been that wordless question that she could not pin down, that nagging worry that begged her to wait, wanted her to be dead certain. It had something to do with what he had said to her that night on the Highwind, but whenever she brought it to mind, all she could think of was his kiss.

They sat together like this as the evening drew on towards night, and when weariness at last touched her lids, Aeris asked him if he would stay with her, hoping he would keep the nightmares at bay. Sephiroth agreed, and she fell asleep listening to the steady beating of his heart.

* * *

_Across from her in sat a woman clothed in shades of blue, pale-faced and dark-haired, her accusing eyes a pale pink. She had never seen this woman before, but she knew her. This woman had the aura of one who had once considered her a rival, but had accepted defeat and come with the intention of apologizing--the intention, yes, but the old feelings persisted. _

_"Why did you make him hate me?" the woman demanded. Her voice was unfamiliar, but Aeris recognized it at once, and knew exactly what she meant. _

_She spoke as through a clear haze. "Why do you blame me for it? You could have told him the truth." _

_"And tell him that I murdered my own friends?" Somehow the woman's straightforwardness did not surprise her. _

_"They were your friends? Why did you kill them?" _

_"I had enemies, too, among that race. Those who did not understand. How was I to know my virus would spread through them to my allies?" _

_"And yet when they asked you why, you attacked rather than explained?" _

_"My friends were dead. What did I care about those who remained?" _

_"You just didn't want to admit that you made a mistake, and so you blamed the Cetra for it instead. Your intent was malevolent to begin with. Did you even care about your 'friends,' really?" _

_The woman turned her head away in aversion. "You are kind to everyone, and yet so harsh to me." _

_"It's true, though, isn't it? Why should I lie to comfort you?" _

_"You comfort Sephiroth, and he has killed just as many as I have." _

_"But he knows he was wrong--he's always known--and he accepts that. He's willing to make amends. You still refuse to take blame because you've no excuses, no cushion of 'I thought I was right.' Not like Sephiroth. But he would accept the blame if he were in your place. I know he would." _

_"I will accept the punishment, if he does as well." _

_Aeris felt herself fading. "He's punished himself enough..." _

_"You just want to keep him for yourself," the woman said spitefully. _

I_'m being selfish? He wants to be with me." _

_"Does he?" There was pain in her eyes. The only one she had actually... _

_"Surely you've noticed it. I'm not forcing him to stay." _

_"But he may feel obligated to." ...fiercely and protectively... _

_"He loves me," Aeris said, "and I love him. Please don't take him from me. Go alone. You can go alone, can't you? Can't you do something with your own strength alone?" _

_But suddenly she found herself speaking to no one. Briefly, she felt a sense of loss, of failure, and then her awareness faded, and she lost all memory of this strange visitor in the night._

* * *

"Morning," he murmured, sensing that Aeris had awakened. 

She shifted to sit up and twisted to look at him with an expression of disorientation, as though she had just woken from a dream. When she found his gaze, she smiled, though some unease seemed to linger in her eyes. "Good morning," she replied.

He had to look away.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concern replacing her smile.

"Aeris, there is... something I must do. You will hate me for it, but I can see no other way."

"I could never hate you, Sephiroth," she said, though uncertainty threaded her voice.

He shook his head and released her, slowly climbing to his feet. "Maybe you won't, but the others..."

"What are you talking about?" Aeris demanded anxiously, climbing hurriedly to her feet.

The swordsman turned to look at her, carefully steeling his expression. "Minerva will understand. I've not told her of my plans, but she will understand soon enough. I can only hope that I am strong enough. If I am not, she will know. Please do not endanger yourself by going with her if that happens."

She shook her head in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I cannot explain. Even what I say now is..."

Aeris reached up to touch his face, her eyes pleading. "Sephiroth, please don't leave me out of this. Whatever you're doing, let me come with you."

"That is the last thing that I can do," he said, carefully taking her hand from his face. "Perhaps I was wrong before to say it was dangerous for you to be near me, but now it is a certainty." He held onto her hand for a moment longer before releasing it and turning to go.

"Please, don't go," she whispered.

He did not turn around, but paused, head lowered. "She is waiting for me there. I have to."

Her eyes widened. "If you go," she said, as though echoing something she had heard a long time ago, "you may never come back."

Sephiroth turned back to her and smiled apologetically. "I may yet. Aeris... I love you."

She stared back at him with tears in her eyes. She could not seem to say anything. "I... I..."

His smile faded, and he shook his head minutely. "It's all right, Aeris. I don't mind. I am not worthy of you anyway, even if you say I am. Forget me, and find someone who can give you what you need."

She shook her head, but still no words came. A tear escaped her eye and slipped down her cheek.

Sephiroth stepped back towards her, wiping it away with a gloved finger. "What are you crying for? This isn't the end."

"You... make it seem like it is," she managed in a whisper. "I'm scared. I don't know what you're doing, but it feels like you won't come back. Please, don't go..."

He regarded her for a moment in silence, then leaned down and kissed her softly on the cheek. "If you wish it," he said, "I will return. I promise."

Aeris put a hand around his neck to hold him close as she returned the kiss. "I'll hold you to that."

The swordsman nodded, then straightened and turned to leave. He expected--no, wanted--her to come running after him, to beg him again to stay, but no footsteps followed him as he made his way down the canyon. He quickened his pace, afraid that he might begin to imagine such footsteps and falter in his resolve, and did not stop until he was certain he was alone. Here, he leaned against a wall and bowed his head.

He hadn't wanted to make her cry, but he had had to tell her something. It wasn't in him to leave her without some kind of goodbye, without telling her that he...

She had not said anything. Did that mean she did not love him? He did not know why it hurt so much. He had never expected her to, always thought it better for her that she didn't, and now, when he was certain of it, it hurt?

He inhaled shakily, and then gave a start. Lifting a finger to his eye and pulling it away, he felt damp through his glove. Was he crying? Frowning, he wiped roughly at what tears there were and pushed away from the wall, heading resolutely down the next set of stairs.

"Hey, Seph!"

He paused at the bottom, belatedly noticing Yuffie at the weapons shop. "Hello, Yuffie," he replied carefully.

Surprisingly, she looked concerned. Nanaki, sitting by her feet, regarded him with a similar expression. "What's wrong?" she asked.

The swordsman shook his head. "Nothing."

"You are leaving, aren't you?" Nanaki asked.

He nodded, looking down.

"Without Aeris?" Yuffie wondered. "Did you just tell her that? I mean, I guess I can understand you wanting to fight her alone. It's your fight, after all, but..."

"Yes," he cut in, "I am going alone. I... I do not want her in danger."

The ninja shook her head, but her expression was sober as she walked closer to him, head bent so that she appeared even tinier next to him. She paused just before him, took his hand, and placed in it a crimson orb. She looked up into his face, a strength in her dark grey eyes. "May the water god Leviathan watch over you in the battle to come," she said softly. "Wutai places its faith in you to destroy the Crisis from the Sky and save the Planet from the grip of death." She closed his fingers over the materia, took a step back, and bowed gracefully.

"Yuffie..." Sephiroth began, shaking his head.

"I believe in you. You just make sure you come back. Aeris'll kill you if you don't."

"If not, we will do it for her," Nanaki added with a slight grin.

"Right," the ninja confirmed.

The swordsman smiled faintly, halfheartedly, and bowed his head. "Thank you both for your support. I will try to make myself worthy of your friendship." He paused and glanced back towards where he had left Aeris. "And if I do not return, take care of her."

"We will," Nanaki answered, "but we would rather not have to."

"I know," he said, turning to go.

"Good luck, Seph!" Yuffie called after him.

"May you return to us, the Planet willing," Nanaki added. He thought he heard the ninja giggle at her friend's formality, and he felt a pang in his heart at their cheerful farewell. They had no idea what he was about to do.

_Jenova, are you listening?_ he called as he started down the steps towards the gate.

_Oh, yes, Sephiroth. I am here_, she replied, sounding pleased. Perhaps she had sensed something from his unease. _What do you want of me? Are you finally coming to your senses? _

_Does your offer still stand?_ he asked. _If I... If I join you, you will let me spare Aeris and her friends? _

_Yes, of course!_

He nodded to himself. _Then I've made my decision. _

_You are coming back to me then? _

_Yes_, he answered. _I... I do not want Aeris to die. She means too much to me. _

_It figures that you would go against her wishes to protect her. Even so, I know you are a clever one. I cannot believe this change of heart so readily, no matter how much I want to. _

_I did not think so. What would you like me to do to prove my intentions? _

_How about you behead that man there?_

Sephiroth looked up to see that he was nearing the gate, and standing to one side was the gatekeeper, Ira, his watchful gaze directed outwards and not suspecting an attack from behind, not even with such a murderer in the village. Sephiroth closed his eyes for a moment, and took a deep breath. _Aeris, forgive me._

The Masamune sang as it arched through the air and severed Ira's head from his body. His head fell to the ground, bounced, rolled a few inches, and his body toppled over a moment later. Sephiroth strode on without hesitation, his eyes straight ahead of him.

_Very good, my son_, Jenova laughed. _Very good indeed._

He only frowned slightly and quickened his step to put some distance between himself and the village. It would not do to have Cloud discover his betrayal and set out after him again. It would happen eventually, but he wanted to be far from here when it did.

_What is it? Did that man's murder make you uncomfortable? Well, don't worry. You will soon get used to it again._

Sephiroth lifted his gaze to the northern horizon. _Mother, where are you? _

_Oh, it is wonderful to hear you call me that again! You have finally admitted that that woman is not your mother? _

_Perhaps she is_, he replied evenly, _but she was never there for me. Your cells brought her life again, and yet she did nothing for me. You were trapped, so of course you could do nothing--but you cared, didn't you? _

_Yes. And I still do, my son. _

_Where are you? I want to see you again. _

_Now, now, don't be so hasty. You've said many cruel things to me. Do you apologize?_

He pushed his disgust far back into a corner of his mind. _I am sorry, Mother. I was only angry that you wanted me to kill Aeris again, but that is past us now. I wish I could take back what I said, but I know I cannot. Can you forgive me? _

_How could I deny my son his wishes? Of course I forgive you. As for where I am, your first guess was not wrong, but I would have left had you come here intending to kill me. I will wait for you here._

Sephiroth nodded. It had begun there, and now it would--begin again. He shook his head. What was he thinking? No, no, it would not end there. He focused his thoughts, bringing up the familiar image of the Northern Crater as he last remembered it. Darkness flickered around him and then drew back to reveal the crater.

"All right, Mother," he said aloud. "I am here."

* * *

Author's Notes  
So... do _you_ believe it? 


	34. A Right Without Sanction

**Chapter 33: A Right Without Sanction**

Katrina stared with wide eyes as she watched Sephiroth disappear beyond the gate. It was some time before she managed to uproot her feet and make her slow way over to the fallen gatekeeper. She stood beside the body, trembling, staring at the blood and the severed head that lay some feet away. Her stomach turned, and she shut her eyes tightly. 

How could Sephiroth have done such a thing? The man hadn't even had time to scream. No warning, no chance for goodbyes, not even a moment of happiness to complete his life. Simply death, swift and merciless. Wasn't that how Sephiroth had always killed? 

No. He couldn't kill so easily anymore. This murder had been deliberate, not as thoughtless as it had seemed. She couldn't understand it, but he had to have had some reason. He had to! 

Shaking herself, Katrina turned away and opened her eyes. She had to find Aeris; Aeris would understand it. Hadn't she been staying up near the observatory? Taking a deep breath, she bolted up the steps and into the canyon. She had to hurry; villagers were already gathering, and as soon as Cloud found out... 

"Hey! Where're you going in such a hurry?" 

She stumbled to a halt and looked back. "Y-yuffie," she said breathlessly. 

The ninja hopped up a few steps to join her. "What's up?" 

"It's Sephiroth, he..." She faltered. "The gatekeeper... he killed him." 

Yuffie's eyes widened. "He killed him? What for?" 

Katrina shook her head helplessly. "I don't know. I was going to find Aeris to..." 

"Right," the ninja interrupted. She turned aside. "Red, go find Cloud and make sure he doesn't jump to any conclusions." 

The feline nodded silently and bounded off. 

Yuffie turned back to the girl. "Can you go down to the gate and try to keep the crowd calm?" 

Katrina nodded dumbly. 

"Tell them Sephiroth did it if you have to, but tell them not to panic. He's gone, and we're trying to figure out why he did it." 

She nodded again. "I-I will." 

"I'll go find Aeris and see if she knows what's going on." With that, Yuffie turned and ran off. 

The girl stared after her, marvelling at her grasp of the situation, and then shook herself. If she was going to calm down the villagers, she couldn't be so dazed herself. She closed her eyes a moment to gather her wits, and at last hurried back outside. 

"Oh, gods," a woman was crying as she joined the crowd already gathering by the gate. 

"What happened?" asked someone who managed to appear a bit more collected. 

"I don't know," replied an older man kneeling by the corpse. "But, gods... Ira didn't deserve this..." 

"Was it Sephiroth?" someone queried. 

"Who else could have done this? Clean off..." 

"I knew we shouldn't have let him into town. He's a murderer!" 

"Someone should go tell Nanaki..." 

"I think he already knows. I saw him run by a minute ago." 

"Where was he going?" 

"Wanted to know where that blond guy was. Cloud, is it?" 

"I hope they go after the son of a bitch." 

"Right. It's about time somebody..." 

"...but what about..." 

"After this? There's no way he's going to..." 

Katrina pushed her way into the circle and faltered there a moment, not knowing what to say. 

One of the villagers, Anne, turned to her. "Do you know what's going on, Katrina? No one seems to have seen it." 

"I saw it," she stated quietly. 

The crowd fell silent, and everyone turned to look at her. "What happened?" someone asked finally. 

"Please don't panic, anyone," the girl began, trying her best to keep her voice even and steady. "Yes, it was Sephiroth, but until we find out why he did it, we shouldn't jump to conclusions." 

"But what reason _could_ he have? If he wanted to leave, he could have just gone. He didn't have to kill anyone!" 

"Please," Katrina went on patiently, "there must have been some reason for it. I know him; he can't kill so easily anymore. Yuffie's looking for Aeris right now. She'll understand it." 

"Having a reason doesn't change the fact that he killed Ira!" 

"You were willing to accept him before, when he'd already killed thousands and never gave you any reason, never offered any excuses, never asked for your forgiveness, but you won't forgive him for one death, even if it turns out he has a perfectly logical excuse?" she cried. "What kind of people _are_ you?" 

The group stared at her mutely. 

"What's happened here?" Elder Hargo asked, walking up. 

"Sephiroth... Sephiroth killed him," Anne answered weakly. 

The Elder frowned gravely. "I see..." 

Miera trotted up at his heels, pushing through the crowd to get a look at the body. She turned away with a grimace and sat back, looking up at the gathered villagers. "Does anyone know why?" 

"That's what Yuffie's trying to find out," Katrina explained. 

The feline nodded. "Clear out, everyone," she said. "There's no point in standing here and being useless. Tell the others if you must, but don't panic until we know what's going on. We have no need of nasty rumors." 

The crowd murmured, some in worry, some in anger, others merely in shock, but they dispersed. 

Katrina sighed heavily. "Thank you, Miera," she said. "The things they were saying..." 

Miera bumped her head against the girl's leg. "They are shocked and horrified at seeing such a dear friend dead. It is natural for them to be angry." 

"I know, I know, but... Even I can't imagine how Sephiroth could do this, and I saw it happen! How can they be so quick to...?" 

Elder Hargo laid a hand on her shoulder. "He is your friend, child. Of course you feel for him. But many of them do not know him, and despite what Nanaki may say, they still harbor a deep fear of him. They can easily believe he has become a murderer again." 

"He _has_ become a murderer again," Katrina amended bitterly. "But he hasn't snapped. He can't have snapped..." 

"I am sure that Aeris, or perhaps that Minerva girl, can understand what has happened," Miera told her firmly. 

Katrina nodded and abruptly sat down on the ground, doing her best not to cry.

* * *

Yuffie stumbled over her own feet and had to stop for a moment to collect herself again. Sephiroth had killed again? He had just walked up and slaughtered a man without reason? She couldn't understand it at all. He'd been doing really well, hadn't he? 

But he hadn't lost his mind. Of this she was certain. He had too many people to support him and no reason to snap. And he'd seemed so sad when she had said goodbye, as though a heavy decision was weighing him down. 

There had to be some logical reason for this. Aeris would know. She had to find Aeris soon to give the Cetra enough time to compose herself and understand it. Aeris had to explain it to Cloud before he acted on his instinct. She had to explain it to _everyone_ before they just labeled Sephiroth 'evil' again. 

Yuffie straightened and went on. She found Aeris sitting against the wall beside the ladder that led up to the observatory. Her knees were drawn up against her, her arms wrapped tightly about them, and her face hidden behind them. 

The ninja slowed as she approached. "...Aeris?" she queried uncertainly. 

The Cetra looked up. Her eyes were red from crying, but there were no tears on her face now, only a questioning vagueness, as though she thought she might have been having a nightmare and wondered if she had just woken up. 

"Aeris, it's Sephiroth," Yuffie began falteringly. 

"What did he do?" Aeris asked distantly. 

"He... killed the gatekeeper on his way out." 

The Cetra stared at her, then nodded slowly. "So that's what..." She took a deep breath and picked herself up off the floor. She seemed years older. "He said I would hate him for it..." 

"Did he give you any hint as to why he'd go and kill someone?" Yuffie asked. 

"He's gone to fight Jenova alone, that much I know. He said Minerva would understand... Do you know where she is?" 

She shook her head. "No, but I can go look for her." 

"I'll go with you." She paused. "Does Cloud know?" 

"I'm not sure, but I sent Red to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." 

"Let's hurry then," Aeris said, and her face was expressionless. Yuffie had never seen her like this before. 

With a nod, she headed for the ladder leading farther up, and the Cetra followed behind her. At the top of the canyon, they found Minerva sitting on the ledge. The girl noticed them immediately and got up to join them. 

"Sephiroth killed a man..." Yuffie said falteringly. 

Minerva nodded in simple acknowledgment. "I saw." 

"Please, can you tell us why?" Aeris asked, some anxiety returning to her face. 

"He needed to get Jenova to let him close. She's too fast. He could never have caught up with her, so he had to deceive her." She sighed. "Well, let me see the body, and I will see what I can do." 

"You mean he..." Yuffie began incredulously. 

"He pretended to join her so that she would let him close enough for him to kill her," Aeris finished. "And that's why he had to go alone." 

The silver-haired girl only nodded and brushed past the two to head down the ladder. The ninja started and followed after her. The Cetra went last.

* * *

The wind was cold and sharp, whipping at his hair and slicing past his clothing, through his skin, to his bones. It reminded him of when he had awoken here amidst a snowstorm with the cold and the ice battering him, reminded him of how lost he had been, not knowing who he was. 

Sephiroth knew now exactly who he was. And so he waited. 

_Ah, my son, it is good to see you again._ She still spoke in his mind. If she had a voice, he had never heard it. 

The swordsman turned around. "Hello, Jenova," he replied coolly. 

Her pink eyes bore into him accusingly. _So you've come to kill me after all?_

He scoffed. "You think I'd really join you?" 

A sigh. _I knew it was too good to be true. But you put on such a wonderful act. I couldn't even sense any thoughts to give it away. And the way you killed that gatekeeper..._

Sephiroth frowned. He remembered how Ira had gone to ask Nanaki's advice upon his arrival rather than simply refusing him entry. _He should have turned me away._ "Why were you so willing to let me come, if you knew it had to be an act?" 

_Oh, all I ever wanted, if I am to die, was to face you alone. And I knew that if I kept at it, you would eventually forsake the help of your 'friends' and figure something out on your own. I never thought it would be something so pleasing as that marvelous display you put on!_

"You deceived me again..." 

_What, you expected me to tell you that if you came alone, I would let you? I couldn't do that, and I'm glad I didn't, considering your most pleasing solution._

"And you say that you want me to be happy," he muttered. 

_I know, I know, I'm a selfish bitch. But then, everyone always wants you to do something. You're the most powerful being on this planet, so of course everyone wants you for their own gains._

"Not everyone," he said. "Mother didn't. Aeris never even thought about it..." 

_Oh, certainly they wanted you for something, be it friendship or proof of accomplishment. Perhaps not as much as Professor Hojo wanted you, to bring him prestige and even godhood--surely if he could create someone powerful enough to be a god, he was one himself. As for that Lucrecia woman, you do realize she only wanted you so she could be a mother to you, don't you?_

"Isn't that why any good mother brings a child into the world? Of course, you could never understand that, could you?" 

_And you can? You've left Minerva to fend for herself, after all._

"It will be better for her if she no longer has to listen to your voice in her head." 

_You don't realize how much she relies on you, do you? She turns to you when she needs help, not anyone else. Another person who wants you, I suppose._

"And what would you say of Aeris?" Sephiroth inquired, raising an eyebrow, daring her to say one cruel word. 

_She just wanted someone to love her. You think that Cloud creature could really care about her? Of course not. But she knew that you had the capacity for it, so she stayed near you, seeking your friendship. And now, she wishes you hadn't fallen in love with her? She only wants to be free from guilt for making it happen and not having the grace to love you back._

"I don't care about that," he lied. "So long as I have her friendship." 

_But you do care. You cried when you learned she didn't love you, remember? And yet you feel you have to give me up for her. But I suppose she _is_ the perfect, selfless one, and I'm just the evil alien. Ah, but I _am_ selfish, and I'm not about to let you go without a fight._

"You intend to keep me by killing me?" 

_I think of it more as taking you down with me._

"You are selfish," he muttered. "And you're no friend of mine." 

_'If you really were my friend, you'd let me go back to Aeris_, she mocked. _Sorry, but jealousy is such a strong emotion. I'm not about to hand you over to the little bitch and then roll over and die. Go ahead and think me weak for it. I don't care!_

"Enough," he clipped, the cold look returning to his eyes. "We came here to fight, not to talk. I am sick of your voice in my head." 

_Then silence me_, she said, that knowing half-smile on her face. 

"I shall," he declared, the Masamune appearing in his hand as he charged for her.

* * *

When they stepped outside, Aeris immediately spotted the gathering near the gate. Katrina sat on the ground with Miera curled at her side. Elder Hargo and Elder Margo were both there, and Lucrecia stood nearby leaning against Vincent. The three strode to join them. 

Aeris knelt down beside the body, biting her lip and shaking her head. "Oh, Sephiroth," she murmured. 

Minerva crouched down beside her, taking the man's head and placing it back at the neck. "I do not know how to do the healing this requires," she admitted. 

"Then let me do it," the Cetra said, but the girl caught her hand. 

"No, just show me how. Save your energy; you may need it." 

Aeris stared at her, then nodded. She laid a hand against the man's face and closed her eyes, delving into the Lifestream with her consciousness. She wondered if Minerva could follow. After a moment, she withdrew and glanced at the girl. 

"...I will do what I can," she said. 

The Cetra got to her feet and turned to Lucrecia. "Could I... talk to you for a second?" 

Sephiroth's mother managed a smile. "Of course." 

The two went half-way up the steps and sat down, trying not to look at those gathered around the corpse. Aeris fidgeted. "There's something that's been bothering me," she began uncertainly. 

"Go on," Lucrecia said encouragingly. 

"Well... I know it's something that Sephiroth said to me, but whenever I think about that night, I..." She faltered and shook her head. "It must have been... the night after we fought Hojo, but..." 

"What were you talking about?" 

Aeris closed her eyes. She remembered him leaning over the Highwind's railing with his head down and his silver hair falling forward to hide his face. "I was... trying to show him how wonderful he is, and then he..." 

"He turned the subject away from himself, didn't he?" 

"Yes... That's right. I said I couldn't be happy if someone near me was hurting, and he asked if I felt it, and..." 

"What did he mean, exactly?" 

She nodded suddenly, remembering. "He said he used to think I was an empath when he was little. He looked so embarrassed, but I had nothing to disprove it, and I still don't." 

"I think I can guess what's bothering you," Lucrecia said. "If you are an empath, how do you know which emotions are yours, and which belong to someone else?" 

Aeris blinked. "I... I don't know. I've felt things in the past that, now that I think about it, may not have been my emotions, and I've always rationalized them to myself." 

"I don't want to hurt you," Sephiroth's mother went on gently, "but there is something I must ask you." 

The Cetra nodded. "Go on." 

"Do you love my son, or are you merely feeling his love for you?" 

Stricken to silence, Aeris stared at her while the minutes stretched and passed. That was it. That was the question, the worry that plagued her mind and her heart. "It would be cruel if I were only reflecting his feelings," she said slowly, "but... I'm not sure. I never was. And now..." 

"Spend some time away from everyone," Lucrecia suggested. "Perhaps then you'll feel only your own emotions and be able to sort them out and give him an answer when he returns." 

Aeris nodded slowly. "Yes, I think you're right..." She got to her feet. "I'm going up to the observatory. If anyone asks where I am, please ask them to wait for me to come back down, all right?" 

Sephiroth's mother nodded. "I will." 

The Cetra bowed her head in thanks and darted up the rest of the stairs and on up to the top of the canyon. Rather than sitting down on the ledge where she could see the scene below, she went into the observatory, up to the machine which heard the cries of the Planet, and sat down on the floor beside it. 

She closed her eyes and thought of Sephiroth. The first image she called to mind was the memory of the smile he had given her when she had brought him back from the brink of madness. He looked so beautiful when he smiled, so innocent at times that it seemed a harsh word could still harm him. But he could steel himself in an instant and rebuild all his old barriers. The kindness would disappear from his eyes, any smile gone from his face save for one of derision. 

Part of her hated that transformation, and part of her admired his ability to pull it off. Part of her felt very special indeed, if he let down all those walls for her and showed her those rare, tentative smiles. 

She wondered when it was that he had come up with this plan. Had it been in his mind for all of yesterday? Had he talked with her, joked with her, held her in his arms, knowing all the while that he would have to do this horrible thing and yet hardly showing any sign of it? 

He had grown so very strong, if he had found the confidence to break away from her and do this on his own without her sanction. He felt sure enough of himself that he could find the right path without her. But she could not be satisfied with his choice. Anxiety gnawed at her, and she dreaded... dreaded hearing that he was dead. Why couldn't she have faith in him? 

But she would rather they face it all together. That way, she could feel more sure of their victory. She was stronger when he was with her. 

She remembered his fearful, accusing eyes in the lab. 

He was stronger when she was with him, too. 

Aeris wanted nothing more than to go to him now and join him in his battle, but she could not go until she had an answer to give him. Did she love him or not? 

She drew back within herself, as though she were seeking the Planet's voice, but she wanted only to hear her deepest emotions. Fear, dread, and worry she found first, at the surface, and she pushed past them and all these tangled knots of uneasy friendships pocked with misunderstanding to find love, strong and buried deep but her own. It was real, she realized with a kind of belated joy, it was her own, not some shallow reflection. 

She loved him, loved him for that strength and beauty and gentleness of his soul. She loved him for his understanding, his confidence, his intelligence. 

So why hadn't she let herself see it? Why had she been so afraid of falling in love? Had she feared a repetition of the past? She had loved her mother, and Ifalna had died. She had loved Zack, and he had died. She had loved Cloud, and... _she_ had been the one to die. And this time, it was Sephiroth who was in danger. Had she known from the start that, because of his strong desire to protect her, she might lose him? 

Aeris climbed to her feet, pushing her hair out of her face and smoothing her expression. She would go to him, but she had things to attend to here first. She had to convince these people who had never truly known him that they had nothing to fear from him. Somehow she had to make them understand why he had killed, not just this time, but all the times before. Taking a deep breath, she made her way back down to the gate. 

The crowd had grown bigger, and considerably louder. Cloud was there, arguing with Katrina, with Lucrecia, with Vincent. Tifa held his arm, as if to restrain him, but it looked more like she was agreeing with him more than trying to calm him down. Yuffie, Nanaki, Miera, and the two Elders were trying to quiet the five, with little success. Minerva still crouched beside the gatekeeper's broken body, a hand laid against his neck, and Reno sat perched next to her, watching the others uneasily. His friends stood slightly apart from the group, watching mutely. 

Aeris descended the steps slowly, a frown coming to her face. 

"You expect me to trust some girl who looks exactly like him?" Cloud was demanding, flinging a hand in Minerva's direction. She did not spare him even a glance. 

"You're calling her a liar because of her _looks_?" Katrina demanded incredulously. 

"Maybe she's lying to defend him, did you think about that?" Tifa asked archly. 

"But she doesn't have to lie," Lucrecia insisted. "Sephiroth wouldn't kill so senselessly!" 

"What about Nibelheim? What about Meteor? Don't tell me that wasn't senseless!" 

"He was misguided then!" 

"Misguided? You mean insane, and maybe he's insane now!" 

"Nothing's happened to make him snap!" 

"How do you know that? Maybe Jenova's been convincing him all along!" 

"He would not submit to her again, especially not with Aeris around." 

"What if it was all just an illusion? An elaborate pretense so we'd trust him? Maybe he planned this from the start!" 

"That's enough!" 

Everyone turned to stare at Aeris in shocked silence. Few of them had ever heard her raise her voice. Finally Nanaki padded over to her and rubbed his face against her leg. Her expression softened briefly, and she pushed past the others to check on the gatekeeper's corpse; Minerva was making little progress, if any, but the Cetra did not want to disturb her. She could not recall how long it had taken her; she had had no sense of time. 

Straightening, she turned back to the group and looked at each in turn before she spoke. Strangely, few of them held her gaze. At length she sighed. "Cloud, Tifa... Surely you two are not so blind that you missed Sephiroth's transformation. Surely you're not so stubborn that you ignored it. You know very well that he's not insane." 

"Then how do you explain this?" Cloud demanded. Tifa, who had looked ashamed from the moment Aeris stepped in, cast him a sharp look. 

The Cetra's voice remained calm and steady. "Minerva told you, didn't she? He used the only way he could think of to get to Jenova. He'll kill her, and isn't that some redemption?" 

"If he really is doing it, it's only for revenge, isn't it?" The anger was leaving him, and only a worried frown continued to mar his face. 

"Not only for revenge. He knows what it means to the Planet, and he thinks that by doing it on his own, he's protecting the rest of us..." 

"I still don't get it, Aeris. How could he do this, even if it is for a cause? Couldn't he think of any other way? He's supposed to be brilliant, isn't he? So why did he have to kill again?" 

Aeris sighed. "Cloud, come here," she said softly, beckoning with one hand. 

He blinked in confusion, exchanged glances with Tifa, and then walked the few steps towards her once Tifa had let go his arm. 

"Sit down?" Aeris entreated with a gentle smile. 

He hesitated, but sat as she did. 

She closed her eyes for a moment, and when she reopened them, her face had only the ghost of a smile, and her gaze went past what any of them saw. 

"Cloud, imagine for a moment, that you are a child, naïve and full of hope as all children are. But you are different; your hope and naïveté are dwindling, because you are a specimen in a lab, and they allow you no freedom. You can only dream, and your dreams seem more and more impossible by the day." 

The others watched in complete silence, and as she went on, they began to situate themselves in a circle around her. Aeris's voice remained steady, and she met the gazes of her friends with a knowing smile. 

"You are only an experiment, they tell you," she went on. "You are not fit to be with normal, human children. They treat you harshly, they experiment relentlessly, beat you without reason, and you think that perhaps this is how you should be treated, for you have known nothing else. But deep down, a resentment for it kindles, and as you grow older, you become aware that this cruelty is not commonplace. No, it is deeply wrong. But what can you do? 

"One day, you see a little girl crying in the hallway as you are heading for the laboratory. For reasons unknown to you, you risk punishment to sit down beside her and ask her if she is all right. But she surprises you; certainly you manage to comfort her, but she notices your pain as well, despite how well you thought you had kept it hidden. And she tells you that you are the same as she--innocent, gifted, kind. It is years before you make a decision--to help her escape this horrible prison. You send her far away from this place, but stay behind yourself in hopes that you are enough to satisfy the curiosity of the Professor. 

"The years pass with little difference from one to the next. You grow a little taller, you learn a little more about what you are, you gain a little more confidence, you have a little more to hide. And then, you begin to forget. Your perfect memory is broken and blotched until hardly anything remains." 

Aeris paused. Her audience remained silent, watching her. Even Minerva had turned from her daunting task to watch with an openness that Aeris had never seen before. 

"...imagine for a moment, that you do not remember much of your past, and that what you do remember is vague and painful. You have never had any friends to speak of, not even friendly acquaintances. Something about you has always set you apart from the others. They laugh at you, sneer, scoff, snicker, condescend, and you become steeled to their words so that no matter what they say, you can bear it without expression or comment. 

"Then, finally, imagine that you get your chance to show them all, to prove that you are better than they. But when you finally climb your way to the top, they only look at you in awe for your actions, thinking nothing of you as a person. Disappointed, disillusioned, jaded, you continue on, this nagging doubt in your mind that maybe, maybe they were right. 

"And for a while, you lose yourself to your duties, try not to think about the fact that you are completely and utterly alone, that no one even dares to touch you, to speak to you, unless they have to. 

"Then one day, you discover that all you have ever been told about your past is a lie. All those little scraps of memories mean nothing at all. Your entire life is a blank, a lie. Suddenly, your identity falls apart. All you ever thought you were is called into question. And that nagging voice in your mind that keeps doubting has grown stronger. Could it be that you are something... less than human? 

"No, no, that can't be! You're above them, you have to be! With a ferocity born of years of repressed anger and hurt, you search for something, some piece of information that will prove that you are indeed superior. And look! You have found it! Sad story though it is, you _are_ superior to them in every way, and you would be justified in telling them so, in treating them with a cruelty worse than theirs, in exacting your revenge. 

"In killing them. 

"...killing them? 

"Why not? You've killed before, in wars and battles and numerous missions. Countless people. Why should it be any different now? Just because they are defenseless...? But no, they have wronged you. For your entire existence, for the entire existence of your people, they have always wronged you. And you are the only one who can demand recompense. 

"Oh, glorious thing! You are the hero of your race! And you shall exact your vengeance, and be rewarded. And what's more, you find another of your kind, your mother. Your mother, who surely must love and understand you as no one has ever done. She agrees with you, even wants you to kill. Well, then you are doubly justified, are you not? 

"So you kill them. 

"Time passes, and slowly a new 'truth' reaches your ears. A truth that says you are not what you thought you were, you are not superior, you are not justified. 

"What now? Surely that cannot be true. But... what if it is? There is another who claims to be one of your kind, and yet she is against you. Why? This truth says that you are not the same; you are opposites. She is the light and you the darkness. 

"No, no, no! You are superior, you are justified. Aren't you? What if these people you have killed... were innocent? Then you are a murderer. Oh, please, gods, you do not want to be a murderer... 

"Your mother wishes you to kill this girl who opposes you. She says it must be done, and surely if you go on with your plan, she is right. So you agree, reluctantly, to kill the girl, this girl who says she is that which you are not. For the first time in taking a life, you feel real remorse, and your heart falters. What is it that you have done? What are you doing? Oh, stop, stop, please stop. 

"But you must continue on. You are superior, you are justified. Your mother wishes you to take this revenge. So you go on. But you cannot suppress your doubt. Perhaps... you should not be doing this. Perhaps they were right all along. There are many who wish to kill you, and you meet them in a final battle. You no longer have the will to fight them, not after hearing their words. Their words ring true in your ears, and you know you were wrong. 

"You are a murderer. 

"Let them kill you, then. Let them exact their revenge upon you, for theirs is justified, whereas yours was not. You killed without reason. You are a murderer. 

"No one will ever forgive you for this." 

Aeris paused to collect herself before she went on. 

"Imagine for a moment, that you have been given a new life. Everyone still hates and fears you, but you have a new life. What are you to do with it? What _can_ you do? How can you possibly make amends for your past mistakes? You cannot undo them. 

"They tell you, though, that you are powerful. Powerful enough to bring back the dead? Perhaps. So you bring back that girl who is what you were not and can never be. You bring her back, but she hates and fears you, too, doesn't she? Then you shall wander alone for all your remaining years... 

"But the source of your oldest, deepest fear resurfaces, and in the midst of your confusion, she comes to you. She says that you are no different than she, even though you are certain you are. What does she mean? Why is she showing you, her murderer, such kindness, when no one else has ever bothered? 

"Soon enough, she is in the hands of your enemies, and you cannot allow that. You cannot allow her to be hurt again. So of course you will trade your life for hers. Yours is worthless. Let them do what they want with you; you deserve it. 

"But in that awful place, your 'mother' speaks anew in your mind, urging you to join her once again, twisting reality and muddling the line between truth and falsehood until you no longer know what is right and what is wrong. Won't someone free you from this madness and clear your mind of these lies? But you know no one will come. 

"But she does. That girl who is everything compared to your nothing, who is pure to your tainted, good to your evil. And she says she cares about you. She says she wants to help you, and she does. Why does she bother? And what is this strange feeling in your heart? 

"Your enemies are soon defeated, yet this mystery of the girl remains. You killed her. Why is she not afraid of you? You killed her. Why is she not repulsed by you? You killed her. Why does she care? You killed her. Why do you allow her to remain at your side? Surely you are still dangerous, surely it is better for her to flee from you. Let her go away; you do not want her to die again. 

"And yet, you do not want her to go. You want to be with her, always. You want to protect her, though you are not her guardian. She understands you in a way that no one ever has, not even yourself. She cares about you, too. And you... you love her. 

"The problem of your 'mother' remains. You have to get rid of her, get her out of your mind, remove her threat from the Planet. But how, if she can see your every thought, are you to find her and kill her? Surely she will only flee. So you must pull off your most incredible deception ever. You must trick even yourself into thinking that you shall side with her. You must deceive her into allowing you near her, that you may stab her in the back. But also, you must prove yourself to her. 

"You must kill again. 

"You know the girl will never approve. You know her friends will hate you forever. You know everyone will curse your name. But it must be done, because it is the only way. 

"You say goodbye to the girl. You tell her you must go, and that she cannot come with you, and that she will hate what you are doing. 

"But then, she says something strange. 

"'I want you to come back.' 

"Surely she cannot mean this. Surely she would never wish to see you again--but there are tears in her eyes and a catch in her throat, and you tell her that of course you will return. You love her. You turn and walk away." 

Aeris's voice faltered for the first time, dropping to a whisper. "What you don't know is that she loves you back." 

No one spoke when she had finished. Her audience sat mute and somber, all sent deep into thought and none able to meet her gaze. Tears had touched a few faces, and Cloud's wore that troubled expression that Aeris had seen so many times. 

"Aeris..." he began, gently intruding upon the silence, but intruding all the same. 

She blinked, giving a slight start upon hearing her name, and turned her gaze on him with a hollow expectation. 

"I'm sorry," Cloud went on with more certainty. "I've been so mistrustful and hateful toward him, and you..." 

"It's all right, Cloud," she told him. "I just hope I've managed to change that." 

He nodded sincerely. "I... none of us... can think of him the same way anymore. There's no way." 

Aeris smiled faintly, laid a hand on his shoulder, and then turned to Minerva. 

The girl dropped her gaze, glancing back at the dead man. "I cannot. It is as though something is stopping me." 

"Planet?" the Cetra queried in a murmur. 

_Wait, child, wait._

"But... why?" 

_You will understand in time. Do not worry._

Aeris sighed. "The Planet is interfering," she explained, "though I don't know why." 

"You mean you can't...?" Yuffie faltered. 

She shook her head. "No. Not yet anyway." She glanced up at the gate by which Sephiroth had left. "I'm going to him." 

"Aeris..." Cloud began. 

She only smiled faintly and got to her feet. 

Minerva stood also, catching her gaze. "Aeris, it is his fight. He left you out of it for a reason." 

"I know. I have to go anyway. Tell me, where is he?" 

The girl hesitated, then passed through the gate to get away from the others gathered there. Her eyes were on the northern horizon. "They are at the Northern Crater." 

The Cetra bowed her head. "Thank you." She brushed past the girl on her way out and started down the steps. Behind her, she could hear her friends starting to talk, but she ignored their voices and kept walking. 

"You will never make it in time," came Minerva's voice when she had nearly reached the bottom. 

Aeris turned to look up at the girl, who stood just a few steps above her. 

"Not unless..." 

"Not unless what?" Aeris prompted. 

"I watched Sephiroth when he left. I may be able to send you there, but I think a part of it is Cetra magic. I will need your help." 

The Cetra nodded, but before she could ask for instructions, she noticed Yuffie descending the stairs two at a time, Nanaki keeping pace at her side. The two of them reached her, glancing at Minerva, and Yuffie flashed her a grin. 

"We're coming with you," she said. 

Aeris blinked in startlement, then shook her head, a smile coming to her face. "I just can't go anywhere by myself, can I?" 

"Perhaps it isn't our fight," Nanaki admitted, "but both of us are quite worried about Sephiroth, and you as well. We want to see you succeed." 

"Plus, you know, we sorta wanna kick Jenova's ass," Yuffie put in. 

Aeris laughed. "Well, I'm glad to have such good friends along." 

"So how're we getting there? I don't know about you, but I'm not interested in walking all the way." 

"Me neither," Aeris agreed. "Minerva and I were just discussing that. She thinks she might be able to mimic Sephiroth's spell." 

"With your help," the girl added. 

"Are you coming with us?" the Cetra asked her. 

Minerva shook her head. "I don't think that I can. This spell is for children of this Planet, not alien beings such as myself." 

"You aren't--" 

"No, I am. Not like Sephiroth. Now, did you want to go to his side or not?" 

"Right. Just show me what to do."

* * *

Author's Notes  
No huge changes here, I just cut the chapter off a little earlier than before. I must say, it's weird writing something so lengthy in second person, and without using any names. .x 

Originally they went off to join Seph by chocobo, but I realized that "Dude, he'd be dead by the time they got there," so I decided a little magic was necessary. It also provides a reason why Sephiroth can teleport but Minerva can't, which was something I never really explained in LFA. 


	35. Shattered

**Chapter 34: Shattered**

He had never fought Jenova before. He knew that he would tire out long before she did, and that their battle would tax the Planet's strength should Jenova choose to use her most powerful spells--and he had no doubt that she would. It did not encourage him that his power came from her cells; it was bound to be weaker. Only his Masamune and whatever part of him was Cetra could compensate. 

It would be a difficult battle. 

Sephiroth was fast, but Jenova was nearly as swift; the Masamune missed by a hair, and Jenova's tentacle by a hand. He brought the blade back towards her, but three more of her nameless appendages shot towards him, and he leapt back, clipping just one of them. A blast of pain assaulted his mind before he could get out of range, and he stumbled, nearly falling as the other two tentacles slammed into him. 

One hand went to his head, and he clung to the Masamune as though it were his lifeline. Jenova was trying to seal off his magic, he realized. Without real knowledge of his Cetra magic, it would render him nearly helpless. Even the Masamune would not respond to him; letting go for an instant might mean losing that, too. Sephiroth struggled to avoid the tentacles' whips even as he fought against the heavy barrier pushing down on his mind. It was like trying to forge a blade from nothing to cut through an impenetrable shield. 

As the spell pressed closer, revulsion and defiance welled up in him. He could not let her! To be crippled now, before he had so much as wounded her! No, no, no, no! Not again, no more of her control, her oppression, her mockery! Through sheer force of will, he shattered her attack, slashed through the tentacles that berated him, and sent a powerful bolt spell crashing down on her. She threw up a barrier spell in time, but withdrew her severed limbs. 

Sephiroth straightened, quickly caught his breath, and struck her with another spell, this one a shard of untamed energy that tore apart her shield like paper and sent her to the ground. She retaliated even before she recovered, hitting him with a spell of twice its power. Sephiroth, however, tore it apart rather than trying to block it. He charged for her with the Masamune, its blade edged in flame. 

_Wanted to make the battle easier for yourself, did you?_ he growled as he slashed aside a tentacle to get closer to her actual body. _Disable my magic and render me even weaker than Aeris? _

Nonsense, she replied, using another limb which surely had not been there a moment ago to knock him sideways. _If I had not thought you could have deflected it, I would not have tried._

He stumbled, rolled out of the way of another barrage of tentacles, and launched himself at her, giving her a glancing blow to the shoulder. _Why bother wasting your energy with that? _

You forget; it's the Planet's energy I'm wasting. Besides, can you even remember the last time you had such a challenge? It must be exhilarating. 

Sephiroth scoffed, sliced through another of her expendable limbs, and leapt up to avoid another attack. _I don't care what this battle is like so long as you end up dead._

One tentacle managed to wrap itself tightly about his leg and drag him closer to her. _And you? You don't care if you die with me?_

He broke free with a glare, drawing a gash up her side with the Masamune once he found his footing. _I told Aeris I would return, and I mean to keep that promise. _

How faithful of you. One of her hands shot out and raked across his left shoulder before he could draw back, but the wounds were superficial enough that he could ignore them. 

Reflecting now on how much easier the Masamune had cut her with a fiery edge, Sephiroth called on his most powerful of fire spells and let it envelope the both of them. He was rewarded with a sharp screech in his mind and the barely perceptible pain that came as his only setback to walking through flame. He drew the spell out for as long as he could, but was forced at last to let the flames die and resort to less powerful spells until he recovered his breath. 

The fire left Jenova in a crouch, her skin seared and many of her tentacles burned off so that only her humanoid form remained, with a few odd appendages and of course those plated wings folded awkwardly behind her. 

_Don't like fire much, do you?_ he asked with a smirk. 

Getting to her feet, she cast him a sharp pink glare. _Let's see what you're weak against, hmm?_ Lightning crackled around him, and he lacked the power to put up a strong enough shield. He kept his feet, leaning on the Masamune until the bolts subsided. 

_That is Minerva's weakness, not mine_, he told her as he straightened. 

Frustrated, she flung a volley of ice spears towards him, all of which failed to hit. Her tentacles shot towards him just after, and these were harder to avoid. Inevitably, one hit, and then another, and they twined about him. Sephiroth let the Masamune disappear as he fell and threw up a shield as she attacked him with a non-elemental type of magic, but he felt another form of pain coursing down her tentacles and into his body. 

His shield wavered, then finally broke, and pain swept through him. He kept tight control of his body to keep from writhing or crying out; he knew that that would only delight her. Amidst the agony, he concentrated on weaving a spell. 

When the onslaught abated for an instant, he called up the flames around him. The fire consumed Jenova's tentacles, freeing him, and spread to her body, though she soon dispelled them. 

He rolled out of her range, leaping to his feet and closing his fingers around the Masamune as it appeared in his hand. Sephiroth found himself breathing hard, and already he felt drained. The pain lingered in his body, screaming in sharp protest when he moved. Despite these myriad wounds, he stood ready. 

_You may have a good defense and control of the elements_, Jenova considered, _but you're already tired, and I am hardly dead. _

No matter. I can hold out far longer than you think. I've already wounded you. It is only a matter of time. 

She lashed her newly-grown tentacles experimentally. _Time is on my side. The longer we fight, the weaker you become. Let us see how well you hold up now..._

Searing pain bloomed in his mind. He staggered from the weight of it and leaned heavily on the Masamune. Again he felt the shield pressing down on him. No! He had to have the use of his spells. No. He could not fail here and now. No... If there was anything that could earn him forgiveness, it was winning this battle. Pain... 

_I promised her. I promised Aeris that I would return. They are all counting on me._

Clenching his teeth, he straightened, forcing the mindblock away. Jenova had come close, her tentacles twisting behind him. As soon as he shattered her spell, she struck out with the whip-like limbs, but there was nothing for them to strike. Sephiroth appeared in the air behind and above her and brought the Masamune downward, opening a gash along her spine. 

She whirled, swiping him aside with her serpentine tail. He managed to land on his feet, skidding a little across the frozen grown, then quickly rolled aside to avoid a shower of ice spears. 

_You enjoy keeping me on my toes, don't you?_ he asked. 

_You realize, of course, that you could move more quickly if you let yourself transform. _

Transform? he wondered. He recalled, vaguely, that she had used her power to warp his body when she had fought Cloud through him, but he refused to use a form given to him by Jenova. It was enough that he had to use her own power to fight her. 

_Fine, fine, have it your way. Keep your pitiful human form_, she spat, launching another set of tentacles at him. 

He felt one of her lesser, water-based spells, bubble and pulse around him. It was not one he could have deflected, but still it caused him not even the slightest pain. _Leviathan_, he remembered when it had abated. _Thank you, Yuffie._

A blast of non-elemental energy hit him, and he grimaced. Unfortunately, those kinds of spells still hit hard. He struck back at Jenova with a maelstrom of fire and raw power, then charged for her with his Masamune as she struggled back to her feet.

* * *

Minerva turned from watching Cid as he left for the Highwind, letting her gaze fall upon the gatekeeper's body with a sigh. "We should move his corpse," she decided, stepping away from where she stood against one pole of the gate. "The villagers won't want their children to see it, I expect." 

Miera nodded in agreement. "Let's move him up into the observatory for now. The children rarely go there, and never without permission." 

The others exchanged glances, wondering who would be the one to carry such a burden, and Minerva was about to do it herself when Rude quietly knelt and picked up the body. She met his gaze, nodded, and bent to retrieve the head. 

The tall Turk led the way to the top of the canyon, and when they reached the observatory, he laid the body down on the couch of its first floor. 

Minerva set the head down near it and shook her head slightly. "Perhaps the Planet wants Sephiroth to revive him," she mused, though she doubted it could be so simple. 

Rude nodded. "Perhaps." 

She glanced at him. "What do you make of all this?" she asked. 

He shrugged. "I expected none of this when I agreed to come. It's turned out to be... intriguing, if that's the word." He hesitated. "I hope it all turns out well. It's gone well for Reno, Elena, and Reeve anyway." 

She tilted her head. "And you?" 

Another shrug, this one uncomfortable. "If my friends are happy, it's good enough for me." 

"I see. You are an observer." 

He blinked. "I guess you could say that." 

She offered him a rare smile. "Try living life; I've discovered that it's more fun." 

Rude chuckled softly. "Reno should consider himself lucky." 

Minerva only shrugged, her smile fading as she turned for the door, Rude following in silence. 

Many of those near the gate had left, gone to sit by the Candle. Rude's friends remained, as did Katrina, who stood speaking earnestly to Elder Margo. The blood was all but gone from the earth where Ira had fallen. 

Minerva and Rude had just rejoined the group when a little girl came running up. "Ira!" she cried, grasping Margo's skirts. "What's happened to Ira?" 

"Kari, dear, calm down," the Elder said gently. "Ira will be all right..." 

The girl shook her head vehemently. "I heard Sephiroth hurt 'im. But Sephiroth wouldn't hurt anyone, would he? Would he?" 

Those gathered shifted uncomfortably as they watched the scene. A woman joined Elder Margo, shaking her head. "Kari, please," she said desperately. 

"Mommy, what happened?" 

"Anne, did you try to tell her...?" Margo began. 

"One of the older children started to tell her, and now she won't settle for any answer I give her..." 

"Then tell her the truth," Minerva said quietly. 

Anne and Margo both looked at her and then exchanged glances. "She's only five," Anne said. 

Minerva sighed and strode to Kari, crouching down in front of her. "Can you listen to me for a moment without jumping to any conclusions?" she asked. 

The girl nodded, releasing Margo's skirt to face this stranger who looked like Sephiroth. 

"Sephiroth did hurt Ira," she said. "He killed Ira..." The little girl's tearful eyes widened, but she said nothing and Minerva went on. "But he did not want to. Someone named Jenova forced him to, and he has gone to fight her now. Do you understand?" 

Kari nodded. "So... Ira's... dead?" 

"Yes." 

The girl mulled this over for a long moment. "Is he ever coming back?" 

Minerva hesitated. "I am not sure. He might be." 

"But... he might not?" Kari wondered, her voice faltering. She broke down into tears, clinging to the girl with the silver hair. 

Blinking in surprise, Minerva put a tentative hand on the girl's shoulder and glanced up at Anne, silently entreating her to take the girl. 

Anne bent down and gently pulled her daughter to her, and Kari cried into her shoulder instead. Rising to her feet, Minerva watched the pair uncertainly. 

"I suppose she would have found out eventually," Margo said with a sigh. "Poor dear." 

The silver-haired girl turned away and headed for the stairs. She heard footsteps behind her: Reno. She did not stop until she reached the ledge half-way up the canyon, where she sat down. He joined her a moment later. 

"Didn't know you were good with kids," he remarked with a grin. 

She shrugged. "I just didn't want them to lie to her." 

"Maybe the Planet'll let Sephiroth revive him once Jenova's dead," Reno suggested. 

"Maybe," she agreed. "Or maybe it is tired of the Lifestream's natural course being interrupted." 

"It should understand, shouldn't it?" 

Minerva shook her head. "How should I know? I cannot hear the Planet." 

He shrugged. "So how's Sephiroth doing, do you know?" 

"He is alive," she answered. "Aeris has just arrived, and Jenova is not pleased." 

"You worried?" 

"...a bit. Mainly because Aeris is." 

He studied her for a moment, drawing her gaze. "They'll be okay," he said, leaning back. "Sephiroth's pretty powerful, isn't he? Aeris, too." 

Minerva did not reply. 

The redhead looked back at her. "You okay?" 

"I am fine," she deadpanned. After a pause, she went on, "I just... I _am_ worried. Even if Aeris asked him to come back, she did not tell him she loved him. He may get reckless, not knowing that." 

"But she's there now. She'll tell him." 

"I hope so," she said, though she doubted that during the chaos of battle, Aeris would remember those three little words. 

Reno sat up and took her hand to get her attention. "Hey. He'll be okay." 

She met his gaze with a troubled expression. "Reno..." And then she leaned against him like a sigh, letting go. Who cared if she looked weak? Who cared...? 

He put an arm around her, pulling her closer and saying nothing. 

"Thank you," she murmured softly. 

"No problem," he replied. After a long moment, he remarked, "You never did answer my question." 

"What question?" 

A slight hesitation. "You know, when I asked if you'd marry me." 

"Reno, you were drunk..." 

"I still meant it." 

She shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not..." 

"Don't you dare say I deserve better," he interrupted, catching her tone, "because I don't deserve a damn thing. I was a real bastard before I met you." 

She found no words to reply. 

"You do know what marriage is, don't you?" 

"I do," she said. "It's just that... I have not even known you for a week..." 

"Then give me a maybe or a no." 

Minerva was silent for a long time. She knew what Aeris's 'maybe' had done to Sephiroth. She would not wish that on Reno, and she could not say no, but to commit herself like that...? Why did he have to ask her now? she wondered in torment. 

_What are you so uncertain about?_ she asked herself. _Don't you love him?_ She started. Did she? 

"...Min?" He sounded anxious, worried more by her lack of response than how she might reply. 

She twisted to look at him, at his brilliant red hair, his twin scars, his aquamarine eyes. Did she love this man? This man with his straightforward compassion and intuitive comprehension of her needs? Did she love him? 

"How about a yes?" she offered. 

"R-really?" he stammered, surprised but grinning. "You mean it?" 

"Yes," she replied. "But, not any time soon. I mean..." 

Reno hugged her tightly, startling her. After a moment, Minerva found herself returning the embrace.

* * *

Aeris broke into a run when she caught sight of the battle, feeling more than seeing the powerful spells the two were throwing at each other. Minerva had managed to teleport the three to the edge of the crater, just beyond Gaea's Cliffs, and there was yet some distance between them and Sephiroth. Once she drew close enough to the two, Aeris struck Jenova with the strongest bolt spell she could muster. 

The alien broke off whatever attack she had been bombarding Sephiroth with and turned a glare on her. _Meddling Cetra bitch_, she hissed, and Sephiroth flinched. What was only a low growl in Aeris's mind must have been a shout in his. 

He turned to her as she came up to him, keeping one wary eye on Jenova. "Aeris, what are you doing here?" 

"Keeping my word to you," she replied. She would have offered him a smile had she not noticed how worn he looked. "I told you I'd fight with you." 

_Enough of this_, Jenova spat, and this time Sephiroth grimaced in real pain, plunging the Masamune into the ground and leaning heavily on it. An instant later, Aeris felt it, too, a searing pain in her mind that grew in intensity. Then suddenly it wavered and lessened, and she noticed the look of concentration and mingled agony on Sephiroth's face. 

"What's going on?" asked Yuffie, who had just caught up. 

"Jenova's... trying to hurt us through our minds," Aeris managed. "You remember... fighting Minerva. Didn't she do something similar?" Aeris winced as something broke, and the pain flooded into her mind. She found herself leaning against the ninja. Yes, it was akin to Minerva's spells, only much, much stronger. 

Nanaki was bounding for Jenova now, intent on hurting her to stop the attack, but Yuffie stayed back to support Aeris, backing him up with spells instead. 

The pain abated abruptly, though its memory lingered in her mind. Jenova gave her two victims but an instant's rest before she unleashed an attack upon all of them. It felt as though huge shards of _energy_ were slicing and stabbing into her. Suddenly she was the one supporting Yuffie, who seemed even more affected by the spell than Aeris. 

Noticing Yuffie's acute agony, Jenova moved towards the pair. She gathered the girl in her tentacles and yanked her back with Aeris powerless to do anything through her pain. Crying out for her friend, the Cetra tried to concentrate, but all she could manage was a weak fire spell. It was enough to make Jenova cease the attack, but not enough to make her let Yuffie go. She thrashed her tentacles about the girl, who slashed back at them with her Conformer. 

Nanaki leapt in, biting and snapping at the offensive appendages to free her. She found her feet and kept up with him as he bounded out of Jenova's range. Aeris started to look around for Sephiroth, but he darted up behind the alien then, swinging the Masamune in an upward arc that drew blood, though she could not see how deep the wound went. It did not prevent Jenova from shooting a brilliant blue flame after Nanaki and Yuffie as they fled. 

The ninja stumbled, but quickly whirled and struck back at her with an ice spell. Annoyed, or perhaps to mock Yuffie's reliance on materia, Jenova countered this with a strong bolt spell that dropped the girl to her knees. Nanaki turned around to charge Jenova and give her three deep gashes from the blades in his headdress. She repelled him with a barrage of ice spears, a few of which embedded themselves in his flank, making him tumble head-over-paws and land some feet from Yuffie. 

A strong water spell burst up around everyone, coming down heaviest on Nanaki and Yuffie, whose magic defenses were not nearly as strong as their companions.' Sephiroth seemed completely unharmed, though having fought for the longest, he showed a constant fatigue. Aeris wondered how much of his strength was now pretense, and how much was still real. 

The swordsman flung out a hand, cutting Jenova's spell short as he blasted her with one of his own. The alien stumbled backwards from the force, then sank to her knees, one hand on the ground to support her. Aeris cast a glance to her left where Yuffie was helping Nanaki to pull the spears from his flanks, watching Jenova out of the corner of her eye. 

The Cetra started over to heal their wounds when she felt _something_ that made her look back at Sephiroth. He was leaning on the Masamune again, one hand covering his mouth. She pivoted and ran to him, laying a hand on his back and watching him anxiously. He did not seem to notice her; his eyes were shut tightly, and he was coughing violently. Aeris concentrated on a healing spell, though it seemed as though his body was one great wound. He lost his grip on the Masamune and fell to his knees. 

"Sephiroth, hold on," she pleaded, though she doubted he heard her. She concentrated again, and the first warmth of healing had just left her hands when Jenova's attack shredded her thoughts and sent her mind whirling amidst pain. She leaned against Sephiroth even as she tried to shield him with her body, though what help that would have been, she did not know. He shifted and enveloped her in his arms, and she felt the pain lessen. 

"Don't," she whispered. 

"I'm all right," he forced out. "Don't worry, I'm all right..." 

But Aeris could not ignore the trickle of blood at the side of his mouth. The spell subsided, and she formed her own as quickly as she could, letting a phoenix wind whip across the battlefield, flooding it with a healing warmth for all but Jenova, who staggered from the burning pain. 

She drew back from Sephiroth. "Better?" she asked. 

He nodded slightly and climbed to his feet. Was it her, or did he seem just the slightest bit unsteady? She frowned anxiously and started to get up, too, when something wrapped around her ankle and yanked sharply backwards. She fell hard to the frozen earth and felt herself dragged backwards as more tentacles wound their way about her. Sephiroth retrieved his Masamune and darted after her, severing the ensnaring limbs. He grasped her by the arm and pulled her to her feet, just a little too roughly. She stumbled against him, but he gave her a slight push away and charged for Jenova with his blade. 

Aeris backed away, watching him dodge and slash at the tentacles to get at his foe. She cried out when one slammed into him from the side, but he turned, severed it, and leapt out of the way of the next that came towards him. Finally one caught his wrist and pulled it down. The Masamune disappeared, and the other tentacles lashed down upon him. Aeris could do nothing. 

Yuffie, having finally recovered from these powerful spells, sprang towards Jenova, throwing her shuriken as she ran. Nanaki bounded at her side. The Conformer severed three of the tentacles attacking Sephiroth and tore through one of Jenova's wings as it returned to Yuffie's hand. She was close enough now to strike at the rest of the tentacles, severing most of them and offering a hand up to Sephiroth. He grasped it only for a moment, disoriented, letting go once he could find his feet on his own. 

Nanaki, meanwhile, was attacking Jenova with all he had--claws, teeth, the blades in his mane--but he could not avoid the strong tentacle that swiped him aside. Hearing the crunch of bone, Aeris ran forward to help him out of Jenova's range. A quick blast of energy sent Yuffie flying backwards and Sephiroth stumbling half as far. 

The swordsman straightened quickly and called out to Aeris. Nanaki gave her a curt nod, and she ran to join Sephiroth. 

"Do you think you can figure something out with me?" he asked her. At her brusque nod, he went on, "Jenova is weak against fire; I want to try combining spells." 

"Combined?" she asked, eyes widening. She took a deep breath. "All right. We'll try it." Grasping his hand, she focused completely on the spell, letting her weaving intertwine with Sephiroth's, which she found surprisingly clear to her. At an unspoken cue, they let loose the flames, watching as they enveloped Jenova in a brilliant bloom of fire. Aeris was forced to turn away from its brightness and look instead at Sephiroth. 

She blinked in surprise at what she saw; the flamelight played on his face and his body and outlined one feathered wing in light, behind his right shoulder and spreading backwards. She blinked rapidly, and, finding it still there, she simply stared. With the dying of the fire, though, so did the wing fade from view. 

"What is it?" Sephiroth asked her. 

"A... a wing," she murmured, then shook her head at his raised eyebrow. They both looked back at Jenova, only to be greeted with a painful assault on their minds. Aeris felt the agony race through her blood as shards of flame and ice. Her mind was full of knives and hammers and painful heavy things. She found herself clinging again to Sephiroth for support, but he could not hold them both up, and they dropped to the ground simultaneously. 

_Stop, stop, stop, stop!_ her mind screamed over and over as she shut her eyes tightly. Somewhere in her soul, she felt the Planet scream. 

_Damned Cetra bitch!_ she heard through the pain. _I will not let you have him! Never! You do not deserve him! He is mine! Weak, am I? Who is helpless and screaming and sobbing? Damn you! Damn you for stealing him from me! _

Please, stop, she begged. _He belongs to no one but himself!_

The pain lessened a little, and Aeris forced open her eyes to look at Sephiroth. He lay curled up beside her, taken by a fit of coughing so severe she feared it would tear up his lungs, one hand pressed to his mouth in an attempt to hold back the blood that nevertheless escaped between his gloved fingers. His other hand clasped hers tightly, and probing a little, she could sense the feeble shield that he had placed over her mind. The pain could not reach her directly, she realized. It had first to flow through Sephiroth. 

"Stop it, you're killing him!" she cried aloud, throwing herself across his body. "Please," she whispered to him. "Just hold on..." 

The agony cut off abruptly, and she managed to lift her head to see Ifrit's great flame envelope Jenova. Resisting the temptation to lie down, Aeris drew back from him, keeping one hand on his shoulder. "Sephiroth," she said urgently, "are you all right?" 

He grunted in response and struggled to get up. He fell back at first, but with a second push, he forced himself up into a crouch. Wiping the back of his hand across his face and leaving behind a few crimson streaks, he answered hoarsely, "Yes." 

Swallowing her sobs, Aeris turned her attention to Jenova, seeing her pounce upon Nanaki and slice at him with clawed hands--she seemed to lack the strength to grow new limbs. Yuffie rushed to her friend's aid, cutting a deep gash in the muscles of Jenova's arm. The alien threw both back with a blast of magic that kept hitting them even as they lay helpless. 

Resolutely, the Cetra climbed to her feet, bringing the strongest fire spell she could muster crashing down on Jenova. The alien staggered and whirled upon her, running forward and spinning to knock Aeris to the ground with her serpentine tail. She fell upon the Cetra, breathing raggedly, gouging at her with her one good hand, using her bleeding, near-useless arm to hold herself up. 

Sephiroth kicked Jenova off of her and sent her tumbling back with a blast of magic. He dropped down beside Aeris as she pulled herself up. "One more spell," he whispered, looking at her pointedly. 

Nodding, she took his hand and focused. She could not see his spell so clearly this time. It was visible to her only as a vague impression, and she carefully wove her threads of fire around it, strengthening this foreign material. One of Jenova's spells slammed down upon them, but Aeris squeezed Sephiroth's hand, and neither submitted to the pain, nor did they let it shred their spell. 

Finally it was ready, and it burst from them, striking their foe with a force born of flame and fury and determination. Jenova's attack wavered, then hammered down with an even greater force that lasted one long, unbearable moment before it finally faltered and began to die. Aeris sensed Sephiroth's part of their spell begin to weaken, and he slumped against her. 

At last Jenova's spell died out, and a moment later, so did Sephiroth's, leaving only the tail end of Aeris's flame to carry out its instructions. The Planet's screaming died down, and then it, too, fell silent. 

Jenova lay motionless in a steaming heap of blue and violet flesh. 

Aeris paid her no more attention and turned to the man in her arms. "Sephiroth. Oh, gods, Sephiroth..." She moved one hand to caress his face. He was alive. Barely. 

His eyes fluttered open and focused on her. "Aeris?" he queried, as though he could not believe that she was still there. 

"Yes, it's me. I'm here with you." 

"I... tried to shield you," he said regretfully. 

"I know, I know... And I'm all right, but you..." 

"Why did you come?" he interrupted. 

"I... I was worried about you, and now..." She bit her lip. "Oh, please, you can't die..." 

He closed his eyes and spoke quite calmly, if carefully. "It does seem as though I am going to. Doesn't it? I am sorry that I lied to you. I don't think I will be coming back." 

"I'll heal you," Aeris said suddenly, though she did not know if she could heal such wounds. "You'll recover." 

"Don't waste your energy on me." 

"Why not? What else do I need it for?" 

Sephiroth opened his eyes briefly, then closed them again. "You were right... about Jenova. She was afraid of dying. But this time... she was willing to go, as long as she could take me with her." 

"But you don't have to go," she insisted. 

"I think, if I stay, she may find some reason to return... before the Planet can decide what to do with her." 

"Then I'll bring you back once we're certain Jenova is dead." 

"What for? Certainly the world is better off without me. They will probably rejoice more at my death than hers." 

"I don't care what they think," Aeris declared. "I want you back." Closing her eyes, she concentrated on healing his wounds. Gods, there were so many of them, so many that she could not even comprehend, much less heal. Any normal man would have died ten times over at least. 

_Stop, child._

She started, opening her eyes. "Planet?" 

_Let him go._

"But why? Is he right?" 

Sephiroth opened his eyes, watching her in hazy confusion, but said nothing. 

_Don't know, but you not one to decide if he lives or dies._

"Then who is?" 

_His victims._

"But I'm one of them, and I say he lives!" 

_Are others, not agree. All must be heard._ The Planet's half-formed thoughts surprised her, but she realized that it must have been busy dealing with Jenova. Even so, she pressed on urgently. 

"Please. Hasn't he redeemed himself?" 

_Will be decided._

"And if they decide in his favor, you'll bring him back to me?" 

_Yes._

"When?" 

_Don't know._

"Please," she whispered. 

_Will inform when conclusion reached. Until then, you will not take from me any that has suffered and died by his hand. Understand?_

"Yes..." She sighed as the Planet's awareness left her and looked down at Sephiroth, blinking back tears. 

"What's wrong?" he asked. 

"The Planet is taking you to be judged," she told him. "It doesn't know if or when you're coming back." 

"Who is judging me?" 

"Your victims," she answered, biting her lip. "I wish I could be there to defend you..." 

"What will happen will happen." He lifted one gloved hand up to her, and she noticed a red materia orb in his palm. "Tell Yuffie 'thank you,'" he said. 

She clasped his hand firmly. "I will." 

Sephiroth grasped weakly at her hand. "Now... they are truly bloody, aren't they?" 

"It doesn't matter," she said, shaking her head. 

"To you." 

She only held his hand closer to her heart. "I'll wait for you." 

"Don't," he told her. "I don't want you... wasting your life just for me." 

"But I want to spend it with you, not anyone else." 

He started to sigh, but winced and inhaled sharply. "What... do you want _me_ for?" he wondered. "Surely... there are other men, more worthy of you... and it would not be hard to find one capable of loving you." 

"But I don't love any other man." 

"What do you mean?" 

"I need _you_, not Cloud, not Reno, not anyone else." 

Sephiroth stared at her silently, and she could not read his gaze. "What if... I don't come back?" he asked finally. 

She shook her head stubbornly. "I don't want to consider it. I won't consider it. You're coming back to me, just like you promised." 

"But, for now... The Planet wants me. Goodbye, Aeris. If I can, I will come back to you." 

"Goodbye, Sephiroth," she whispered, bending down close to his face. "I love you." 

But his eyes were sightless, and already it seemed the warmth was going from his hand. Closing her fingers about the materia, she laid his hand down across his chest and closed his eyes. For a long moment she sat there in silence, staring at his lifeless body and trying to hold back the sob in her throat. At length she blinked and shook her head, clumsily dragging herself to her feet. 

Aeris looked around, spotted Nanaki and Yuffie, and tried to walk over to them, but her feet refused to move. Everything looked blurry through her tears, and she blinked to clear her vision. "Mother, help me," she mouthed. 

_Be strong, Aeris_, came Ifalna's voice in a soothing whisper. _Everything will turn out all right._

"I want to see him again. I _have_ to..." 

_You will. Don't worry._

"But, what if they... what if they decide against him?" 

_They won't. They couldn't possibly..._

"But, maybe they will..." 

_I will defend him in your place._

She closed her eyes and bowed her head. "Thank you." 

Ifalna sent the impression of a smile. _You know I'd do anything for you. Now, it looks like I have work to do. Go help your friends._

Aeris nodded and drew herself up with a deep breath. Opening her eyes, she strode towards her companions, ignoring the tears staining her cheeks. Yuffie lay on the ground with Nanaki hunched beside her, nuzzling her gently. He looked up at the Cetra as she approached, golden eye questioning. 

"He... he's dead," she said, failing to maintain any semblance of calm when uttering those few words. Nanaki regarded her with a deep empathy, but she shook her head dismissively and knelt down beside Yuffie. "Is she all right?" 

Yuffie opened her eyes ever-so-slightly. "Hey, Aeris," she forced out. "I'm alive. Just... would appreciate... a little help." 

"These wounds are beyond me," Nanaki told her mournfully. 

The Cetra laid one hand lightly on Yuffie's cheek and took several moments to heal the worst of her wounds. The ninja struggled to a sitting position as Aeris pulled her fingers away. Noticing the bloody handprint she had left, Aeris murmured an apology, showing Yuffie her red-stained palm. 

"That's okay." 

She turned then to Nanaki. "Here, let me heal you, too. You took a pretty harsh beating." Her magic knitted his flesh back together, and she sat back. "Thanks, you two. If you hadn't come with me..." 

Nanaki nuzzled her shoulder. "I am sorry, Aeris..." 

"It's not your fault. The Planet is going to let his victims judge him. If... if they decide as much, he'll come back to me." 

"I hope he killed some very understanding people," Yuffie said. "Otherwise..." She trailed off at Aeris's frown. 

The three sat in silence for a time. 

"I guess," Yuffie faltered, "all we can do now is wait for Cid to get here with the Highwind." 

Nanaki nodded in agreement. "In the meantime, perhaps we should try to find some shelter," he suggested. 

Aeris, meanwhile, had made her slow way back to Sephiroth's body and knelt down beside it. She smoothed his hair with the backs of her fingers. A faded expression of pain remained in his features, but there was no trace of life, no smile, no blue eyes with their faint shimmer. Biting her lip, she fought back another wave of tears, and a strong hand on her shoulder made her look up. 

"Are you okay?" asked Yuffie, having followed her here. 

The Cetra nodded. "I'll be all right..." She pulled herself to her feet, disoriented. Things were beginning to seem hazy around the edges, like she was dreaming this and had no control over her actions. Finally really noticing Yuffie, she handed her the materia she still held. "Sephiroth said thank you," she managed, swallowing another sob. 

The ninja took the orb with a nod, clasping it tightly. "I'll be waiting to hear that straight from his mouth soon enough. I expect better of him than this messenger stuff." 

Aeris could only manage a wavering smile as she turned with Yuffie to find some shelter from the wind. She wished that the Planet had let her heal him. She wished that she had been able to tell him before the battle. She wished, selfish desire that it was, that she had died in his stead. 

But most of all, she just wanted to hear his voice telling her that everything was all right.

* * *

Author's Notes  
And thus begins the angst. Oh ho... 

Honestly I don't particularly like this chapter, except for the end. Mostly this is because I still haven't figured out how to do good battle scenes. I remember when I first wrote this, I actually determined how much damage (hit-point-wise) each spell would do to each of the characters, etc, etc. Pretty sad, huh? But at least I'm not embarrassed by these scenes. 

Also, Reno asking Min to marry him (again) came to me completely out of the blue. I was just writing the scene with the two of them, and for some reason he just had to ask that right at that moment. >> But hey, I kinda like it. 


	36. Separated

**Chapter 35: Separated**

"What is it?" 

She caught Reno's arm to steady herself. "He... They are both dead." 

He blinked, his gaze on her growing more intense. "Sephiroth and...?" 

"Jenova," Minerva finished. "Killed each other." 

"Did Aeris not make it in time?" 

"No, she did." Grief finally began to slip into her voice as she went on. "I suppose... she could not heal him. Or perhaps she lacked the energy. Or the Planet stopped her. Or..." She faltered and fell silent. 

Reno gently pulled her into his arms. "Hey, it'll be okay. I mean, the guy's died twice before, hasn't he? Death doesn't exactly seem final for him." 

"But how many lives do we have? Perhaps from this sort of death, there can be no recovery. Perhaps the Planet will not let him return. Perhaps..." Her voice dropped to a murmur. "Perhaps I have lost my only brother just when I have finally found him." 

"Let's wait and see what Aeris says when she comes back before you work yourself into despair, all right? She is okay, isn't she?" 

Minerva nodded. "I think so. Sephiroth shielded her." She paused. "I hope that she is strong enough to live through this without breaking." 

"She's strong," Reno assured her. 

She drew back from him. She had had her moment of weakness. She would not allow herself any longer. "I suppose we should tell the others," she sighed. "If Cloud looks even the slightest bit pleased, I will rip his head off." 

Her declaration seemed to catch him off guard. "Vicious today, aren't we?" 

The girl shot him a half-hearted glare. "My brother just died. How am I supposed to be feeling?" 

"Depressed and snappish," he replied. "Sure. It's just that it's usually the brother who's the protective one." 

"Protective?" she wondered softly, shaking her head. "I could not protect him from anything." 

Reno opened his mouth to reply, but she turned away from him, striding towards the Candle where the others were waiting anxiously. She ignored all of them save Lucrecia and seated herself beside the woman. Everyone fell silent, some watching her worriedly, others only favoring her with a glance. They all knew that if there were news of the battle, she would be its messenger. 

She spoke softly, her words obviously meant for Lucrecia alone, but still audible to the others. "Whatever good news I have will pale beside the bad. The battle is over, and Sephiroth... Sephiroth is dead. But so is Jenova." 

Lucrecia stared at her, not wanting to believe. "What... what did you say?" 

"Sephiroth and Jenova are dead," Minerva said more firmly. 

Tears flickered in Lucrecia's eyes, but she only nodded. "I see..." 

"Are Aeris, Nanaki, and Yuffie all right?" Tifa asked, as though dreading the answer. 

The girl got to her feet. "I cannot say for certain. Aeris, at least, is alive." 

The brunette sat back with a frown. Cloud glanced at her, then put an arm around her, and she smiled at him briefly, gratefully. 

Minerva glanced around at those gathered to see their reactions. Most were somber-faced, keeping their eyes downcast and their thoughts to themselves. Lucrecia was crying silently, and Vincent was doing his best to comfort her. 

Katrina's sorrow in particular caught her eye. The girl stared listlessly at the ground, hugging herself and rocking back and forth as a tear made its soft track down her face. Was that how a normal girl would have reacted? Minerva wondered. Should she have been crying, too? She probably could if she let herself, but what good would it do? 

Cloud, she noticed, looked no more pleased with the news than his companions. His face showed none of the complacency that she had almost expected from him. Of course, the lives of three people he _did_ care about remained in question. So when they returned safe and sound--as Minerva found herself assuming they would--perhaps then he would smile. Perhaps then most of them would be happy. If their friends made it back and the enemy was dead, who cared if they lost Sephiroth along the way? 

Her heart full of bitterness, Minerva turned away, walking past where Reno stood waiting and sitting down in the corner beneath the stairs. The redhead sat down beside her, watching her in concern. 

"Do not worry about me," she told him. "I have enough strength in me, and enough ice, to get over it." 

"Well, I'll agree with part of that," Reno said, "but you're no more cold than Sephiroth was." 

She scoffed. "You barely knew him." 

"But I know you." 

She looked away. "Please, I do not wish to talk about myself right now." 

"Just admit that you're not cold-hearted, and I'll drop it." 

"But how can I be? I have attacked my allies and friends, nearly killed them..." 

"Min, do you think _I'm_ nice?" 

She glanced back at him. "Yes, of course." 

"Do you know how many people I've killed for no reason whatsoever?" 

"No..." 

"A lot," he replied. "Not as many as Sephiroth, maybe, but still a lot." 

The girl nodded. "You are saying that even someone with empathy can kill. Fine. You are right. But that does not prove your point." 

"Well, it negated yours, and I guess that'll have to do for now. We can talk about it later." 

"Thank you," she sighed, leaning her head against the wall and closing her eyes. "Life outside really is strange. It is not yet noon, and already today I have watched my brother kill an innocent man, accepted your proposal, and felt the simultaneous deaths of one I hated vehemently and one I loved dearly. So different from the lab's monotony..." 

"At least it can only get better from here, right?" Reno reasoned. 

"I suppose." Minerva fell silent and wondered what 'better' would be. Aeris could revive Sephiroth, or perhaps Minerva could do it herself. 'Better' would mean that Aeris would get to spend her life with the man she loved, that Minerva and Reno would get married and he would teach her how to live, and that no one else would have to die save from old age. 

But that was childish thinking. It was probable that Sephiroth would remain dead--that was the natural way of things, wasn't it?--and Aeris would break. And of course there would be murderers and criminals, accidents and disease. Perhaps she would never kill, but others would. And Reno? She was certain that he, at least, would stay with her. 

She stole a glance at him. He sat quietly against the wall beside her with his legs half-stretched out and his arms folded. His gaze was wandering, now looking out at the canyon, now gazing up at the sky, now glancing over at her. With a start, she averted her gaze. 

What would Sephiroth think, she wondered, if he knew she was going to marry Reno? Would he smile and congratulate her? He had told her to stop pushing him away, after all. It would surprise him, though, to find that she had gone so far as that. Perhaps it would even hurt him a little because he would not think Aeris would accept if he asked her such a thing. 

But what would happen to Aeris now that she had lost Sephiroth? Was she strong enough to move on without him, or would his death be the end of her, too? And had she told him she loved him before he died, or had she been too late, as she had been with Cloud? There would be an even deeper pain for her than for Minerva, no matter what the case. Minerva, at least, had Reno and his friends. Who did Aeris have, if not Sephiroth? Where would she go? 

"Reno?" she queried. 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you think we should offer to stay with Aeris, or at least to let her come with us, if Sephiroth is indeed to remain dead?" 

He paused, trying to figure out from what line of thought her question had arisen. "Yeah," he agreed. "She'll need someone to help her out." 

"I hope we do not have to offer, though." 

"Me, too. I wanted to get to know the guy." 

"...and I wanted to see him finally find a place to belong."

* * *

"There they are," Vincent stated quietly. 

Tifa looked up. No cheers announced their friends' arrival, no cries of 'welcome back,' no smiles, no excitement. Simply that flat, empty statement. 'There they are.' 

Cloud got wearily to his feet, and she followed suit. They all remained motionless, poised anxiously, squinting in the midnight darkness as Cid came up first, followed by Yuffie, Nanaki at her heels, and finally, reluctantly, Aeris. The Cetra seemed barely able to keep her head up. Tifa recognized that look; she had seen it on Cloud's face after they had defeated Sephiroth and the weight of Aeris's death had become inescapable. 

Shaking her head, she forced herself down the steps and went to greet them. "Aeris, Yuffie, Nanaki... welcome back," she said as Cid came to stand beside her. 

"Hey, Tifa," Yuffie replied tiredly. The other two remained silent, barely meeting her gaze. Cloud, Katrina, and Miera came to join them. The feline walked up to Nanaki, and the two touched noses in greeting. 

"I'm glad you're all okay," Tifa went on. "When we heard about Sephiroth, I..." 

"You heard?" Aeris asked faintly. 

She nodded. "Minerva told us. Aeris... I'm so sorry..." 

The Cetra smiled sadly. "There's nothing you could have done, so don't apologize." She paused, looking past her. "You, too, Cloud. I know what you're about to say." 

No one spoke. Minerva and Reno joined them in the silence, just as mute. 

Aeris looked at each of them in turn, and Tifa found she could not hold that gaze. "The Planet has claimed him for now," the Cetra told them. "Everyone he's killed, everyone who's suffered because of him, and... I hope those that he helped--they're going to judge him. And if they decide as much, the Planet will let him return. So I can't loose faith yet." 

"He may come back, you say?" Minerva asked hopefully. For once she sounded like the girl she was. 

"That's what the Planet said, but I don't know any more than that. It's busy now, trying to accept Jenova's soul." 

"Accept it?" Cloud repeated, sounding appalled at the idea. 

The Cetra nodded. "That's the only way she can die for certain: if her soul enters the Lifestream. Otherwise, she'll continue on as she has, immortal." 

Tifa laid a hand on her shoulder before anyone could ask another question of the poor woman. "Come on, Aeris. You look like you could fall asleep any minute. Let Nanaki or Yuffie tell us about the battle." 

Aeris nodded gratefully. "Right..." 

The brunette led her past all the concerned gazes of their friends, past the questioning gaze of the innkeeper, and into the shelter of one of the rooms. 

Sitting down on one bed, Aeris stared unseeing at the far wall. "Thanks, Tifa," she said. "One more minute of watching their faces, and... I know you all pity me, for losing him, even though most of you still can't bring yourselves to like him." 

Tifa stood awkwardly near her. "Aeris..." 

"You were right, you know." 

She gave a start. 

Aeris's gaze focused on her. "When you said it seemed like we were more than friends. I should have realized it. But, Tifa, I was afraid of falling in love and then losing him, like I lost Zack, like Cloud lost me. And now... I don't even think he heard me when I told him..." 

"I'm sure he did," Tifa said. "And if he didn't, then someone will tell him, won't they?" 

She nodded slowly. "Yes, someone will tell him. I wonder... if the Planet took him to the Promised Land. I wonder if he's watching me now." 

"Why would he be taken to the Promised Land?" she asked in confusion. 

"Oh, he does have some Cetra blood in him. Not much, but I think the Planet has forgiven him, so maybe..." 

A thought occurred to her. "And maybe... Your mother, Ifalna--she talked to you from the Promised Land, didn't she? Maybe Sephiroth can talk to you, too." 

Aeris's face brightened. "You think so...? He probably just hasn't realized it yet. Maybe he hasn't even woken up yet." 

Tifa smiled gently and sat down beside her friend for a moment. "You look like you took a beating, too. Do you need--?" 

"No, that's all right," the Cetra interrupted. "I don't think materia could heal these wounds anyway. I'll take care of them when I'm rested." 

"All right," the brunette conceded, though she would rather have tried anyway. "Aeris... I hope they can all find it in their hearts to forgive him. So he comes back." 

Aeris managed a smile, a real smile. "Thank you, Tifa. But I know he'll come back. He promised me he would." 

Tifa nodded, admiring the faith her friend had in Sephiroth, and got to her feet. "I'll leave you be so you can rest," she said, leaving the room and closing the door softly behind her. 

She found herself wishing she could do something to help Sephiroth. She had suffered by his hand, too, hadn't she? So why couldn't she be among those who decided his fate? Aeris needed him to live again. Tifa remembered that night when they had danced together, and how happy Aeris had looked. The two of them belonged together, and she felt ashamed now that she had ever thought or said otherwise. 

She wondered if Cloud felt the same. After Aeris's story, surely he understood. Tifa cast a glance back towards the Cetra's room as she headed down the hall. _Aeris... tell the Planet we want to help, too._

* * *

The other Cetra hung far back from him, but Ifalna strode boldly onward, stopping only a few feet away from him. Gods, her daughter had fallen for a beautiful man. He lay on his back with one knee up and his gloved hands folded loosely across his stomach. He wore all black in stark contrast to his fair skin and fine silver hair. His head lay tilted to one side, his black lashes lightly closed and his delicate features smooth. He looked so... innocent. This did not seem like a man capable of killing without a second thought. This was a lonely boy who had lost his way. 

He frowned suddenly and shifted, struggling to consciousness. His eyes opened, and he sat up immediately, looking around to find his bearings, but what could he possibly recognize in this field of flowers? Confusion showed faintly on his face. 

"This is the Promised Land," Ifalna explained gently. 

Sephiroth looked up at her, his blue-green gaze intense though it lacked any harshness. "You are... Aeris's mother?" he asked. 

"Yes," she answered. "Ifalna." 

He nodded and climbed to his feet, eyes flicking past her to notice the other, much more reluctant Cetra. "Why am I here?" he wondered. "Is this where I am to be judged?" 

She shook her head slightly. "I'm not certain, but this is where you are staying until the Planet finishes dealing with Jenova." 

"What... do you mean?" he asked uncertainly. 

"Did you think it would be easy for it to accept a foreign being into the Lifestream?" Ifalna sighed and shook her head. "If it weren't for the fact that your blood carries both Cetra and Jenova, then the Planet would have eagerly let you live." 

Sephiroth's face gave away nothing as he nodded in comprehension. "I see. So it needs me to act as a bridge." He paused, looking around. "Strange, how one such as me should end up in the Promised Land. I had been expecting some kind of hell." 

"The Planet had to draw you even closer to itself so that Jenova could follow as far as the Lifestream, I think." 

"Would it have worked if I had not died?" Sephiroth asked. 

Ifalna shook her head. "I don't know. This has never happened before." 

He nodded absently, and she sensed that his questions were only a faint curiosity, a distraction. Finally, he let some emotion show and asked, "How is Aeris?" 

She looked away. "Grief-stricken, but determined as always." 

"That sounds like her." He paused, and by now sorrow had set itself in his face, his voice, and his mannerisms, however hard he tried to hide it. "She said before... that she was watching us. Could I...?" 

"Yes, you can watch her, and I think it would lighten her burden just a little to know it." 

Turning, she motioned for him to follow, but one of the Cetra stood in her way. 

"Let us pass, Narsa," she said sternly. 

"You're just going to let Sephiroth go where he pleases?" he demanded. "Here, in our Promised Land?" 

"Yes," Ifalna replied levelly. "Why, do you have some objection to that?" 

"Of course I do! And I'm sure I'm not the only one, just the first with the nerve to say it. They treat you with so much respect because you're Aeris's mother, but what of it? You're about to lead _Sephiroth_, the man who nearly destroyed everything we hold dear, into our last refuge." 

"Haven't you be watching?" she demanded, noting how Sephiroth refrained from offering a single word in his own defense. "He's just died again to _save_ everything we hold dear: the lives of those on the Planet and the life of our beloved Planet itself. Is it too much to ask that he be allowed to watch _his_ beloved? He's saved ours, but we deny him even the right to _watch_ her?" 

"But, Ifalna," Narsa went on even more vehemently, "what good he's done certainly doesn't amount to enough to redeem him of the devastation he caused! _He_ was the one who freed Jenova to begin with, _he_ was the one who called Meteor and put the Planet that much closer to death, and let us not forget that _he_ was the one who killed his 'beloved.'" 

"It isn't your place to decide whether his good deeds redeem his sins." 

"Then whose is it? Yours?" 

"No, not only mine. You know that all those whose lives he has touched are to argue and decide. And I note, Narsa, that you are not one of them." 

"I find it incredibly foolish and unfair that you should ignore the opinions of the rest of us. Do you think you don't need an observer unswayed by emotion?" 

"And what a fine, unbiased specimen you are, Narsa," another Cetra said as she joined the two debaters and their silent charge. 

"Saerni, surely you can't think we should allow this monster into our home..." 

She did not speak to either of the two Cetra, but instead turned to Sephiroth. "Let them say what they will; I'd much rather hear your opinion. Tell me: what do you have to say for yourself?" 

The swordsman bowed his head respectfully. "If this concerned only me, I would agree with Narsa, but if it would lighten Aeris's burden, even a little, to know that I am watching her, that should be reason enough." 

"But what good could it do the poor girl to know that _he_ was watching her?" asked another woman as she joined them. "I should think she would find it unnerving." 

"Have either of you ever been in love before?" Ifalna asked quietly. 

Narsa and the other woman exchanged glances, Saerni watched her placidly, and she felt Sephiroth's steady gaze on her back. 

"I suppose not. So you can't claim to understand it, or to know what a comfort it is to have your love's protection. Even the knowledge that they are watching you is enough to bring a smile. What I wouldn't give to have that feeling once again..." 

Saerni laid a hand on her shoulder. "Ifalna, my friend..." 

She shook her head slightly and was about to say something to dispel her concern when Sephiroth spoke softly. 

"What do you mean?" 

Ifalna turned to look at him. "Aeris loves you, or didn't you know?" 

The swordsman blinked once, and incredulity and hope battled for dominance in his eyes. "But she never said..." 

"She did. She tried to tell you, as you were dying, but... you must have been too far gone to hear it." 

An expression of agony came to his face. "Gods, and I've left her alone. Once already she has been separated like this, and now..." He shook his head, at a loss for words. "The Planet will let me return to her, won't it? It must let me go back." 

Ifalna felt compelled to lay a hand on his shoulder and hold his gaze steadily. "It is not ultimately up to the Planet whether you live again. I will do what I can for you and my daughter both." 

Sephiroth nodded, swiftly trying to compose himself. "I am deeply grateful to you." 

"Well, come on. Let's go see how she's doing now."

* * *

Sleep began to slip away from her, and in her fading drowsiness, she thought, _It was just a dream, a terrible nightmare like all the others. Please, let it be a dream._ But she shifted slightly as she opened her eyes and became painfully aware of the injuries she had sustained. 

Aeris closed her eyes again, wishing away this shock of reality and calling after sleep's retreating form. In vain. With a noise somewhere between a sigh and a whimper, she forced herself to concentrate on the complex healing spells needed to mend her wounds. Shortly afterwards, she felt considerably better, but ready to go back to sleep. Despite her body's fatigue and the inviting lure of sleep's oblivion, however, she doubted she could manage it. 

Rolling herself out of the bed, she half-slid, half-tumbled to the floor and sat there staring blankly at the pair of worn brown boots that lay haphazardly before her. Recognizing them suddenly as her own, Aeris snatched them and roughly pulled them on, making a mental note to buy new ones that was soon forgotten. 

She then started for the door, intent on finding out what they had done with Sephiroth's body, but she stopped upon catching sight of herself in a small framed mirror. She stared at this, too; this unrecognizable visage caked with dried blood and dirt, shadowed by tangled and matted hair. 

Probably she ought to take a bath, she thought, but she lacked the desire to bother. Instead she hurriedly washed herself with a combination of water and air spells. The magic left her feeling cold and more drained than before, but clean enough. Her hair remained a mess, but she could deal with that later. 

Leaving the room, Aeris strode down the hall as quickly as her tired limbs would manage. It was just barely dawn, she noted on emerging into the sunlight. The sky in the east seemed clear and pale, but the western sky still clung to darkness. Storm clouds perhaps would have been better, but this emptiness would do well enough. 

She found Vincent sitting alone at the Candle and sat down wearily beside him. He did not glance at her, but she knew he had noticed her. 

"Vincent..." Aeris began, trying to keep her voice cold. She did not want to let her grief show, but she could not manage warmth right now. "How are Yuffie and Nanaki doing?" she asked first. 

"Fast asleep last I heard," he replied, and she was grateful that he did not try to offer her any comfort. One kind word from anyone, and she felt she might break down again. 

"That's good." 

Vincent cast her a glance. "You should be resting, too." 

"I know," she sighed, "but I woke up, and I really don't think I could get back to sleep." 

He nodded in understanding and looked back at the fire. 

"What... what did they do with Sephiroth's body?" 

The slightest of hesitations. "Minerva carried him up to the observatory. That is where they put the gatekeeper's body." 

"Oh..." Aeris fumbled through her numbed mind, searching for something to say. Sephiroth had often told her that she always knew exactly what to say. She wished that were true. "How is everyone else reacting?" 

"Lucrecia was devastated at first," he said quietly, "but your words gave her hope. She believes that his victims will find it in themselves to forgive him. Katrina is much the same, though she lacks the support she needs. Minerva, I think, is the worst off now; she is not so optimistic. But she will be all right, so long as her coldness does not succeed in pushing Reno away." 

Vincent paused. "The others remain quiet and sober, though whether out of sorrow or respect for you, I cannot say. Cloud and Tifa seem surprisingly sympathetic to Sephiroth's situation." 

She managed at last to put some life into her words. "Well, that's better than I could have wanted. I half-expected Cloud to be happy that Sephiroth died..." 

"You know he is not _that_ stubborn." 

"I know. It's just hard to think right now." 

After a moment, Vincent said gently, "Just so you know, Cid is staying here until you decide on a destination. He had planned to leave this morning, but he does not want to leave you here now if you don't wish to stay." 

Aeris nodded and closed her eyes. "I understand. I think I've already made up my mind." 

She felt his gaze on her, but he did not pursue an answer. 

"What about you and Lucrecia?" she asked, looking over at him and hoping she had found a more cheerful topic. 

"We are headed for Nibelheim. Lucrecia wants to get married there, once we've settled in." 

She smiled faintly. "Will I be invited?" 

"Of course," Vincent replied. 

"Hopefully I'll be feeling better by then so I won't make everyone gloomy with my presence." 

"Aeris..." 

The Cetra shook her head before he could go on. "Never mind that. Are you going to buy a house there?" 

"No; the old Shinra mansion will do well enough." 

"You'll have a lot of work to do," Aeris said doubtfully. "The place is a mess, and infested with monsters, isn't it?" 

Vincent shrugged. "I don't mind the work. It used to be quite beautiful before Hojo let it fall into disrepair. Besides, we've no wish to bother the villagers with a request to help us build a home." 

"If they're kind people, they'll want to help you no matter what you decide on." 

"Most of them moved to Nibelheim as Shinra's employees. I am not counting on their hospitality." 

Aeris frowned. "I've known a lot of people who once worked for Shinra, Vincent. Only a handful were truly bad, and none without some reason. You, Reno, Zack, Cloud, and... and Sephiroth, all wonderful people. The villagers of Nibelheim may surprise you." 

He nodded. "You are right. But even so, I find myself hoping they leave us be." 

"Tsk, tsk," she chided. "Make some new friends, Vincent. Isolation isn't healthy, even if it is with your love." 

"I hope you remember that as well, Aeris," he told her, fixing her with his penetrating crimson gaze for a brief moment. 

She shifted uncomfortably and looked down. "I just feel like... I have to get away from everyone. I love you all dearly, but..." 

"You would rather not have the burden of our problems, or worse, be a burden to us. I understand. But do not alienate yourself from us entirely." 

"I won't," she assured him. 

"Hey, guys," Reno said as he joined them, sitting down beside Aeris with his legs sprawling. 

They greeted him in turn, and Aeris glanced around, noting Minerva was not with him. 

He grinned, noticing. "Yeah, I got kicked off." 

"Off where?" 

"The ledge," he replied, jerking a thumb over his shoulder, towards the canyon's wall. "Gotta give 'er _some_ time alone, don't I?" 

"Are you sure that's such a good idea?" Aeris asked, remembering what Vincent had told her. 

Reno nodded. "Oh, yeah, she'll be fine. Besides, I rather like having my head attached to my body." 

She couldn't help but be amused. 

"Aha! A smile!" he exclaimed triumphantly. "Didn't think I'd see one of those on your face for a while yet." 

"It's hard to keep a straight face around you, Reno," she told him. 

He shrugged. "Minerva, Elena, and Rude do a pretty good job staying somber around me, and even better staying angry, especially in Elena's case." 

"You do tend to invite anger," Aeris admitted, "but we love you anyway." 

"Gee, thanks, Aeris," he replied, putting an arm around her. "You're the greatest, you know that?" 

With a frown of discomfort, she removed his arm from her shoulders. "Minerva might be watching, you know. You wouldn't want her getting jealous, now would you?" 

"Aw, but Min knows I love her. I'm not allowed to comfort a girl in mourning?" 

She stiffened, all trace of amusement leaving her eyes. "Reno... Don't." 

"Sorry," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. 

Vincent got to his feet and started for the steps, pausing near the redhead. "Try to be a gentleman and avoid joking about tender subjects." He turned to Aeris. "I am going back to Lucrecia's room. She should be waking soon." 

The Cetra nodded. "Go ahead. I'll see you later." 

"Later," he agreed, turning down the short stairs and striding towards the inn. 

"...gentleman?" Reno wondered. 

"It's just what it sounds like, Reno," Aeris sighed. 

He shot her a look. "I _know_ what it means." He settled himself back down. "Anyway, uh... Wherever you're going from here, me and Min wanna come with." 

She blinked. "What?" 

"We want to come with you." 

"But, Reno, what about--?" 

"Rude, Elena, and Reeve?" he finished. "We can pay 'em visits or vice versa. Doesn't matter. We're not about to leave you alone." 

She looked down at her hands. She had wanted to go alone, but she needed someone to talk to and to cheer her up, or she'd go crazy. Still... "I suppose there's nothing I can say to dissuade you?" 

"Nope. Notta thing." 

"I hope you know you'll be following me into exile," she tried. "The City of the Ancients is no vacation spot." 

"City of the Ancients?" he wondered, then shrugged. "Well, we figured it might be something like that." 

Aeris sighed and then smiled tremulously. "Thanks, Reno. It... It'll be nice to have some company."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Since they ended up coming back on the Highwind, we've lost a travel-by-chocobo scene. I don't think it's that big of a loss, but Yuffie and the chocobo did have some interesting dialogue going on. P 

Not too many changes here otherwise. A depressed Aeris is surprisingly easy to write. >> I would like to say though, that I've honestly never been a fan of the concept of the Promised Land as an actual place. There's something Aeris says: "Someday I'll get out of Midgar, speak with the Planet, and find my Promised Land." I've always liked to think that that meant the Promised Land is more of an individual thing. I mean, everyone has their own definition of happiness, so maybe to the Cetra, the Promised Land was nothing more than finding that happiness, that place to belong. I dunno, I've just always liked that idea. But the concept of the Promised Land as a place frequently makes a better plot device, which is why I tend to use it more often. 

Fun fact: All the Cetra's names are made up of letters found in Aeris and Ifalna's names. I figured that way I could keep them all of a piece. 

Oh, and a couple things I'd like to address:  
1. Since this story is a rewrite, it's already finished. It just needs some minor proofreading as I go along. So there's no need to ask me to continue; the story will conclude early in September, no qualifications.  
2. Fallen is not actually longer than LFA. I've just divided it up into more chapters in a bid to even things out. In the original, chapter lengths ranged from two pages to 23, with the average being around 12-14. O.o In Fallen, the chapters are of a more uniform length, most being about 8 pages long. So, when you do the math, Fallen is roughly 60 pages shorter than LFA. That's a lot of angst I cut out! 


	37. Goodbyes

**Chapter 36: Goodbyes**

Cid was still clearing the last wisps of sleep from his mind as he stepped out into the sunshine, and he cursed it under his breath for being so damn bright before starting for the Candle. 

"Hey, Vince," he called, seeing the man heading in his direction, towards the inn. 

"Good morning, Cid," Vincent replied, slowing. "I told Aeris of your plans, and she said she has already decided. It looks as though you may be able to leave today after all." 

"Really?" he asked. 

"Yes. Check with her to be sure if you like." 

"Yeah, I will. How's she doing?" 

"She is coping well, it seems, so long as she can avoid talking too much about Sephiroth. Reno even coaxed a smile from her." 

"Well, yeah. She's Aeris, after all." 

Vincent studied him for a moment, and then strode silently past him. Cid watched him until he disappeared into the inn, shrugged it off, and made for the Candle. 

"'morning, Aeris," he greeted, leaning against the rock platform behind the Cetra and the redhead. 

She twisted around. "Good morning, Cid." 

"I hear the Highwind may get to fly today." 

She nodded. "That's right. As long as everyone else is ready." 

"Well, if they aren't," he said gruffly, "I ain't waitin' around for their sorry asses." 

Aeris shook her head at him. "Really, Cid, what would Shera say?" 

The pilot ran a hand through his hair and grinned sheepishly. "Come on, you know I don't mean it." 

"I know." 

"Anyway." He straightened and turned to Reno. "Hey, kid, you're still young--you wanna run and tell everyone that I'm headin' out in a couple hours?" 

Reno grinned and hopped down from the platform. "Sure thing, old man," he replied before heading off. 

"I ain't old!" Cid called after him. He turned back to Aeris, shaking his head. "Ah, hell... How'd we ever pick _him_ up?" 

"Well, he is Reeve's friend, and mine," she pointed out. "He's only teasing anyway." 

He grunted. "So where're you headed?" 

She made a vague gesture. "I wanted to visit Midgar first." 

"And then?" 

"You don't have to worry about anything after that, Cid. We can travel by chocobo." 

"'We'?" he asked, a little relieved to know that someone was going with her. 

Aeris hesitated. "Reno and Minerva are coming with me. And Sephiroth, of course." 

"You're gonna lug his body around?" 

She lowered her gaze, and he immediately regretted asking the question. _Goddamn insensitive fool._ "I... I can't just leave him here. I don't know when he'll come back, and I want to be there when he wakes." 

"If Lady Luck's feelin' kind, that'll be sooner rather than later. And I really hope she's in a generous mood." 

"Thank you, Cid." 

He scratched his head. "Eh... 'welcome. Anyway, I'd better see to the Highwind, make sure she's ready to go." 

"Anxious to get home?" she asked. 

He grinned. "You guessed it." 

Aeris waved a hand, smiling faintly. It was good to see her smile. "All right, go on." 

Cid nodded. "Yeah, and you get packing. I'll see ya later." 

"I will. Bye." 

He turned and headed for the gate. Finally, he was going home! Not that he didn't like being with all his old friends, but he missed Shera. Absently, he fingered the tiny box in his pocket. He was lucky Tifa had wanted to help him pick it out; Cid didn't have much taste in jewelry, and certainly not rings. 

He wondered briefly if Shera would even accept. After all, he'd treated her like dirt for longer than he cared to remember. Of course she hadn't forgotten. Was it presumptuous to think that she'd forgive him for all that, even though she'd stuck with him in spite of it and never questioned him? 

Cid shrugged it off. If she rejected him, she rejected him; it'd just be her revenge for him being a goddamned asshole all the time. He already owed her a million times over. 

Spotting the Highwind in the distance, he quickened his pace. Hell, he'd rather ask her sooner and get it over with.

* * *

"Come back to me soon," Aeris whispered, brushing Sephiroth's hair from his face. She straightened, surveying her work: she had bandaged his visible wounds and mended the worst tears in his clothing. She refused to simply leave him as a corpse, as the others seemed content to do. Too, she refused to wear the black garb of mourning; instead she wore bright greens and earthy browns. 

Retrieving her bag, Aeris turned from the room and took a deep breath to smooth her expression. She did not want to look as though she could die of grief. She did not want to worry her friends. She had to be strong. But she could only do so much, and so she kept her gaze lowered to the ground before her feet, not wanting anyone to read the sadness in it. 

She bumped into Rude as she stepped outside and stumbled backwards. "Sorry!" she exclaimed softly, looking up. 

Rude shook his head. "It's all right." He hesitated. "You wanted to take Sephiroth with you?" 

"Yes," she answered uncertainly before she understood. "Oh. Are you going to carry him for me?" 

He nodded silently. 

She managed a slight smile. It was getting easier to fake such an expression; her outward appearance was slowly becoming separate from how she felt inside. Had Sephiroth gone through the same thing? "Thank you." 

Rude looked away. "It's the least I can do." 

"No one has to do anything for me. I'll be all right." 

"But everyone wants to help you, Aeris." The mere use of her name sounded deeply personal coming from him, and she realized that she had never heard him refer to her as anything but 'the Ancient.' "You don't deserve this." 

She shook her head, looking down at her feet. "He'll come back, so don't worry about it." 

Rude nodded slightly and carefully stepped around her to go on up the observatory. She remained there for a moment before continuing down the steps. 

She found Katrina leaning against the gatepost, looking out across the canyon, but no one else had arrived yet. Aeris was surprised; her time in the observatory had seemed like an eternity. 

She joined the girl, shifting the weight of her bag. "Hey." 

"Hi, Aeris," Katrina replied, turning. "How are you doing?" 

"I'm all right... But, you aren't leaving, are you?" 

She shook her head. "No, no, I'm not. I'm just waiting here to see people off." 

Aeris nodded. "I thought you would stay; you seem quite at home here. Have you found work yet?" 

"Actually, yeah. Elder Hargo said he'd been looking for an assistant--he's not very organized, you see--and I told him I'd be happy to take the job. I get room and board and not much else, but it's a start. Besides, I get to sort through all his notes and old manuscripts. How cool is that?" 

The Cetra smiled faintly. "It sounds like you'll enjoy yourself." 

"I'll write you if I find anything interesting, okay?" Katrina offered. 

She nodded. "Sure. Though I guess you'll have to send it to someone in Bone Village. I doubt anyone wants to deliver mail in the City." 

"You really don't want anyone around, huh?" the girl asked sadly. 

"I won't be alone," she said. "Reno and Minerva are coming with me." 

"Oh, okay." 

Aeris pulled the girl into a light embrace. "Take care and be sure to visit every now and then." 

"You, too," Katrina replied, surprised by the hug but returning it wholeheartedly. 

The Cetra withdrew, turning her gaze to Yuffie as the girl shuffled up, a bag slung over one shoulder and Nanaki at her heels. Both of them looked miserable. 

"What's wrong, you two?" Aeris wondered. 

The ninja looked up. "Oh, nothing. It's just that..." 

Nanaki took over. "She belongs in Wutai, and I belong here. The distance between us is too great for our liking." 

"I'm sure you'll be able to keep in touch," Aeris told them, not certain she understood. "And you can spare a few days every now and then to visit each other, can't you?" 

"Well, yeah," Yuffie conceded. "But... Oh, never mind." She turned to Nanaki. "Look, I'll call you every day, all right?" 

He rubbed his face against her leg. "All right. And if you forget, I will call you." 

"I _won't_ forget," she told him indignantly. She knelt down to give him a quick hug, then straightened and turned to the other two by the gate, looking a little embarrassed. 

Aeris smiled to set her at ease. "I hope Cosmo Canyon and Wutai will become such good friends as you two." 

Yuffie grinned. "Yeah..." 

The four shifted their attention at the sound of an approaching argument. 

"...don't see why you're going off with Aeris," Elena was saying. 

"Hey, it's not like I help pay the rent or anything," Reno pointed out. "You can live without me." 

"That's not the point." 

"Then what _is_ the point?" asked the redhead, stopping as they had reached the gate by now. 

"You--you'll be isolating yourself from everyone and everything!" 

"I'll have Min and Aeris, and it's not like we're against visitors. Hell, you could probably come along if you wanted." 

Elena threw up her hands in exasperation. "You still don't get it, do you?" 

"No, I don't," Reno stated flatly. 

"It's not that hard to understand, Reno," Yuffie interrupted. "Elena's just saying that she'll miss you." 

The two Turks stopped and stared at her, then exchanged glances. Reno suddenly burst out laughing, while Elena blushed furiously and glared at him. "It's not funny, you moron!" she cried, stamping on his foot. 

His laughter cut short as he grimaced and hopped back, glaring at her. "What was that for?" 

She put her hands on her hips. "Can't you be serious for _one second_?" she demanded. 

The redhead faltered, and then he sighed and his expression sobered. "Okay, fine. What did you wanna say?" 

Elena blinked at him, thrown off guard by the sudden change in demeanor. "W-well... Yuffie's right. You're m--Rude's best friend, and... I'll miss you, too, if you go with Aeris. If it was Midgar, or Costa del Sol, or someplace closer, I wouldn't mind, but the City of the Ancients is a hellova long ways away!" 

"Hey, calm down," Reno said gently, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

She pulled back angrily. "Calm down? You don't even know when you're coming back!" 

Undaunted, he stepped closer and put his arms around her. The gesture surprised her so much that she did not try to resist. "It's not like I'm going to drop off the face of the Planet, Elena. Sure, it's far away, but it's not an impossible distance. Besides, I've got your number." 

"B-but..." 

"No buts," he went on, firmly but gently. His tone impressed even Aeris. "I'm going with Aeris. It's not that big a deal, so quit acting like it's the end of the world." Reno grinned, drawing back and ruffling her hair. "Anyway, aren't we supposed to be hating each other?" 

"Oh, Reno," Elena said, shaking her head, "you're hopeless." 

"Indeed," Minerva remarked wryly, coming up behind them. The pair started, not having noticed her approach. 

"Oh, hey, Min," Reno greeted, the gentleness gone from his manner as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "You ready to go?" 

She nodded. She seemed to notice the change, but her face conveyed no disappointment. Aeris guessed that she had already witnessed that side of the Turk. "Of course." 

Tifa and Cloud joined the group, exchanging tentative greetings. 

"So where are you headed, Aeris?" Cloud asked carefully. 

"Midgar first," she answered, "to visit Mom, and to pick up anything of mine that survived Meteor. And then I'm going north, to the City." 

"Alone?" he asked, frowning. 

"Me an' Min are going with her," Reno cut in, "and we'll be staying for a while. I've heard the place is in pretty bad repair. And besides," he added with a glance at Aeris, "someone's gotta carry Sephiroth." 

"Is Cid going to take you there?" Tifa asked just a little too quickly, eager to carry the topic away from the dead man. 

It was Aeris who answered, her voice quite steady. She could tell the others were surprised. "He's going to drop us off at Midgar. We can go by chocobo from there, so long as you don't mind us borrowing yours again..." 

Cloud shook his head. "It's no problem. Take as many as you need." 

"Thank you, Cloud. I know you probably don't agree with what I'm doing..." 

"No, I do," he interrupted quickly, and she thought he sounded younger than usual. The hate and suspicion had left his eyes; he hadn't even raised a word of objection to Reno's accompanying her. "I'm not sure I understand it, but I've got no right to stop you. I'd go with you, but..." 

"But you've got your own life to take care of," Aeris finished. "This is my own bit of foolishness. I... He promised me he'd come back. So I'm going to wait for him. I don't know how long I'll be able to do it, and I know I'll be lonely, but I can't abandon him. I can't move on with things and have him recover to find me tangled up in something else..." 

"Aeris, I'm sorry..." 

She shook her head quickly. "You had your reasons. I don't blame you at all. Tifa needs you; I can survive without you. It's probably better this way." 

Tifa shifted uncomfortably. "Aeris..." She sighed, trying to find her words. "I know you're a lot stronger than any of us, but even you have your limits. Don't hesitate to rely on your friends if you need us." 

Aeris smiled. "Thank you, Tifa. I'll try to remember that." 

The last few who were leaving with them came to join those already gathered at the gate, Vincent and Lucrecia in the lead, Reeve a little ways behind with Cait Sith waddling along at his side, and Rude coming last with Sephiroth's body over his shoulder. He seemed to be having some difficulty carrying the man's weight, and Aeris wondered briefly how Reno planned to manage. Unless he had meant Minerva. 

Seeing that everyone was ready to go, those who were leaving turned down the steps, and the latecomers followed without a pause. Aeris lingered there, hesitant to go. 

"It's almost been an hour," Reno prompted. "Cid's probably getting impatient." 

She nodded, bent down to give Nanaki a quick hug, and turned to follow the others. 

Before she got very far, though, Nanaki bounded ahead of her and stood in her path. "Wait!" he hissed, wincing at the feral sound of his voice. "Give this to Yuffie?" he implored, pawing unsuccessfully at one of the feathers in his mane. 

Aeris knelt down, carefully removing the ornament. "All right, I will," she said, smiling fondly. She lowered her voice confidingly. "Is my dear Nanaki falling in love with a human?" 

He lowered his head, covering his muzzle with one paw in embarrassment. "Do you think she knows?" he asked anxiously. 

"If she doesn't, I think she'd like to," she said, stroking his mane. "But I won't tell her." 

Nanaki nodded. "That is my duty." He straightened, trying as ever to act as an adult. "Now go and catch up with the others. I've no wish to keep you too long." 

"Take care of yourself, Nanaki," she said as she stood and continued down the steps. 

"And you as well, Aeris." 

She hurried after the others, slowing only when she caught up to Reno. He glanced at her with a raised eyebrow as she lowered her skirts. 

"You all walk too fast!" she exclaimed. 

He grinned in response. "I think some of us are just anxious to get home." 

Aeris nodded. "I know, though I'm not sure I know the feeling." 

"That's not something I expected from you. Don't you have a place you call home?" 

"Not really. The City of the Ancients is the closest thing, I guess." 

"Care to explain that one to me?" 

"Well, it's the home of my people," she replied. "And it's isolated, away from derision and misunderstanding, away from crowded, mechanical places that drown out the Planet's song, away from the people who worry too much about me." Her gaze wandered ahead to Cloud and Tifa. 

"So it's a hiding place," Reno concluded. 

She shook her head. "No, it's more than that. It's... the only place I've ever felt I belonged." 

He eyed her critically but only shrugged. "Whatever. Maybe I'll get it when I see you there." 

They were silent for the rest of the trek to the airship. Aeris was the last to climb up the ladder to the Highwind. Reno, Minerva, Elena, and Yuffie were still on the deck when she reached it. It was clear that Yuffie intended to stay out here, but the others were only waiting for her. She waved them on in and moved to join the young ninja at the rail. 

Once the others had gone, Aeris drew out the feather and held it out to Yuffie. "Nanaki wanted me to give you this." 

She blinked, and her eyes widened. "But... he earned this for saving the Planet. It's too great an honor for him to..." 

The Cetra did not withdraw her hand. "He said to give it to you. I think you've done plenty to deserve it." 

The ninja took it uncertainly, but with a firm grip lest it blow away. "I guess I'll just have to repay him when he comes to visit Wutai," she considered. "It's really me who should be giving him things, you know. I have a lot to make up for." 

"What do you mean?" 

"You remember how I used to torment him when we were younger. Maybe he's forgiven me for it, but I still wish I could do something as an apology." 

"I think your friendship is enough for him," Aeris said gently. 

"You think?" 

She nodded. 

The ninja grinned. "It means a lot to me, too. Too bad I have to go back to Wutai with my lazy dad and that bratty Shake. The kid only gets worse as he gets older." 

"Nn." 

"Sorry. I shouldn't vent on you." 

"It's all right." 

"Say... Do you think there's anything I can do? You know, to help Sephiroth?" 

Aeris frowned, watching as the ground recede as the Highwind lifted off. "You aren't dead, and he hasn't hurt you, really, so I think not..." 

"Sure he's hurt me--my mother died defending Wutai from him. Doesn't that count?" 

"I guess," she agreed doubtfully. "But I died by his hand, and it doesn't seem like I have any say in the matter." 

Yuffie frowned, clinging to the railing with her free hand as the Highwind gained speed. "That's not fair. The living should have a say in it, too." 

"You're right," she sighed, though she didn't see how that could work. "I'll ask the Planet when I can." She paused and looked over at her friend intently. "Would you really stand up for Sephiroth?" 

"Yeah, of course. He's sorta depressing, but he seems like a nice guy. Kinda like Vinny, I guess. He's cute, too," she added with a wink at the Cetra. "I can see why you like him." 

Aeris laughed a little in spite of herself. "Thanks, Yuffie. He is cute." 

They spoke little for the rest of the trip, and by the time the airship reached Costa del Sol, Yuffie had carefully tucked Nanaki's feather away in her journal to make sure she didn't lose it. Cloud and Tifa came out onto the deck, stopping just before the ladder. 

"Bye, Aeris," Tifa said, giving her friend a quick hug. 

"Goodbye, Tifa," she replied. "Thanks for everything." 

The brunette smiled falteringly and disappeared down the ladder. 

Cloud hesitated, running a hand through his shock of blond hair. "See you, Aeris..." 

She nodded, stepping up to him and kissing him lightly on the cheek. "Goodbye, Cloud." 

"You make that sound so final," he said regretfully. He really did seem younger. 

Aeris smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry; I don't mean it to be. Visit as often as you like. I'm sure I'll appreciate the company." 

"We'll be sure to do that," he said firmly, then followed Tifa down the ladder. 

The next stop was Junon, where Elena, Reeve, and Rude were getting off. Reno came out with them to bid them farewell. Elena seemed eager to be off, or maybe she was just embarrassed by the scene she had made at the gate and didn't want to make another with some sappy goodbye. Rude and Reno exchanged only nods before Rude climbed down the ladder after her. 

Reeve tossed Cait Sith unceremoniously over the railing, then turned to Aeris. "I'll see you later, Aeris. You still owe me a date, don't forget." 

She managed a smile. "I won't. Come by sometime, and I'll oblige you." 

He grinned and turned to Reno. "See you, Reno. Take care of her." 

"'later, Reeve. Look after Elena for me." 

"Sure thing." Then Reeve turned and went down to join his two friends. Reno came to stand with the two women at the railing. None of them spoke. 

The Highwind stopped next at the ruins of Midgar, just outside Sector 5. Minerva came out onto the deck, Sephiroth's body impossibly over one shoulder. Certainly she didn't _look_ as though she could bear his weight so easily. But she only walked past them silently and started down the ladder, going slowly and carefully. 

Aeris turned to Yuffie, giving her a hug. "Tell me all about Wutai," she said. "I want to hear what a good leader you are." 

The ninja grinned. "I will. You keep in touch, too. If Reno's acting up too much, just tell me and I'll come kick his ass." 

The Cetra looked pointedly at the Turk. "You hear that, Reno? You'd better watch yourself." 

"Hey, I've got Minerva," he said, holding up his hands. "I wouldn't _dream_ of bothering you." 

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Riiight. Just get going." 

"Yes, ma'am," he said, swiftly moving to follow Minerva. 

"Wow, obedience," the ninja remarked. 

"You _do_ have authority," Aeris told her. "Not that Reno usually respects that..." 

"Anyway, you just tell me if there's anything I can do for Seph." 

"I will. I'll see you later, Yuffie." 

"Bye, Aeris!" the ninja called after her as she started down the ladder. 

She joined Reno and Minerva on the ground below, finding the former wearing a stupid grin and the latter looking none-too-pleased. 

"What?" Aeris asked. 

"You've got nice underwear," the redhead told her as Minerva sighed. 

The Cetra placed her hands on her hips. "What was it you just said about not bothering me?" she demanded darkly. 

"Hey, it's a compliment!" he protested. 

She turned him around and gave him a light shove. "Get moving, and no more comments about my underwear." 

"Ow, hey..." Reno glanced at her over his shoulder, but started towards Midgar. "Would you give Sephiroth this much of a hard time for saying something like that?" 

"Sephiroth is too much of a gentleman to make lewd comments," Aeris told him, a few paces behind him but not far enough back that she could see Minerva who trailed after, silently bearing her burden. 

"Oh, yeah, that 'gentleman' thing again. Guess I should look into that, huh?" 

"Yes, maybe you should. Minerva might appreciate it." 

The redhead had sobered by the time they reached Sector 5, finding much of the place still in tact, including Aeris's church. If she had not had such a heavy grief on her heart, she might have expressed real elation at finding her church standing and gone to see her flowers. As it was she walked past it, her steps not slowing until she reached her old house. The flowers here were no less vibrant than when she had last seen them, but now they brought her little joy. 

She approached the door hesitantly, turned the knob, and stepped inside. Reno followed her to the door, but Minerva hung back, looking around with an empty curiosity. 

"Mom, I'm home...!" Aeris called, no cheer in her voice. 

"A-aeris?" Elmyra gasped, coming from around the corner to see her. 

"Yes, Mom, it's me. I--" 

She could not get out a word of explanation before her foster mother had her in a tight embrace. "Oh, my dear Aeris! Barret was kind enough to tell me that you were alive again by some miracle, but I could scarcely believe it! How are you doing? Are you all right? And what of Sephiroth, who revived you?" 

"Slow down and let me answer," Aeris said breathlessly as Elmyra drew back. "Yes, I'm all right--more or less. It's a long story. You see, Professor Hojo captured Sephiroth, and we had to free him, and then kill Hojo. And then we had to defeat Jenova--the Crisis from the Sky--because she was a danger to the Planet. And..." Her voice faltered. "And..." 

Elmyra blinked rapidly, trying to take this in, and Reno was left more or less ignored by the open door. "What is it, dear?" 

The Cetra lowered her gaze. "...Sephiroth died in the battle." 

Her foster mother frowned in confusion. "Well, that's not so bad, is it? He revived you, certainly, but he was the one who..." 

Aeris was shaking her head. "You don't understand. He's different. The Sephiroth who killed all those people--that wasn't the real him! Sephiroth is kind and understanding and... He was the one who freed us from the lab, he was the one who brought me back, he was the one who traded himself in to Hojo so that I wouldn't have to suffer, he was the one who died because he tried too hard to protect me from Jenova..." 

"What are you saying?" Elmyra asked, sensing that there was more. 

"I love him," she answered simply. 

"You love him?" her mother repeated skeptically. "You love Sephiroth?" 

Aeris nodded. "Yes, I love him. I know it sounds crazy, but you haven't met him. You don't know him like I do. He's a wonderful, wonderful person..." 

"Was," Elmyra corrected softly. 

She shook her head emphatically. "The Planet says that it's letting his victims judge him. If they let him, he'll come back. He promised me he would." 

"I... see." 

The Cetra frowned. "Please, Mom. You know what it's like, don't you?" 

Elmyra nodded. "Yes, I suppose I do. You're going to wait for him then?" 

"Yes," she answered, glad that this, at least, was something her mother could understand. 

"Are you going to stay here?" Her gaze went past her to finally notice Reno. "With your... friend?" 

Aeris shook her head. "I'm sorry, Mom. I don't think I could bear it. I mean... I don't want you worrying about me constantly. I don't want anyone worrying about me. I just thought that it would be cruel not to even visit you..." 

"What about your friend?" 

"I'm going along for comic relief, ma'am," Reno said with a winning grin. 

Elmyra frowned in disapproval. 

"This is Reno," Aeris cut in quickly. "He's coming along to keep me company and cheer me up. Minerva, too..." 

"Minerva?" 

"Yes. I think she's outside. She's, well... Sephiroth's sister and Reno's girlfriend." 

"I didn't know Sephiroth had a sister," Elmyra said. 

"There's a lot nobody knew about Sephiroth," Aeris replied. 

Her mother nodded. "I suppose so," she agreed. "So will you be staying here long?" 

"I guess we'll spend the night," the Cetra considered. "We've only got a couple hours of daylight left; it's really too late to be moving on." 

"That's quite all right with me. Where are you headed anyway?" 

"The City of the Ancients," Aeris answered. "It's just north of Bone Village." 

"I don't presume anyone lives there," Elmyra said dubiously. 

"No, not really, but there are no monsters either. You don't have to worry." 

"All right," her mother sighed, and Aeris knew she would worry. "Well, why don't you all come in, and I'll fix some dinner for you." 

Aeris turned to step outside, Reno just ahead of her, and spotted Minerva sitting on the little bridge over the stream, Sephiroth's body on the ground beside her. She noticed them immediately and got to her feet, waiting for some sign as to whether they were going or staying. Aeris motioned her over, but the girl hesitated over her brother's body. 

Elmyra had come out behind them, and she watched uncertainly. "Is that... Minerva?" she asked. 

The Cetra nodded. "Yes, that's her." 

"...she looks young." 

"Seventeen." 

"How old is Reno?" 

Not knowing, Aeris looked to the Turk. 

"Huh? Oh, twenty-seven." 

Elmyra did not seem to acknowledge his presence, only his answer. "He's too old for--" 

"Mom," Aeris interrupted in admonishment, "age doesn't matter that much, especially with these two. Reno's immature and Minerva's very precocious. They're perfect for each other." 

By now Minerva had joined them, having left Sephiroth where he lay, and at this she actually blushed a little, though the color did not affect her blank expression. "We are leaving in the morning then?" she asked. 

Aeris nodded. "That's right. I figured we'd head to the chocobo farm tomorrow and go north from there." 

"I could fetch these chocobos tonight if I were given directions." 

"You're sure you feel up to it?" 

Minerva regarded her with icy eyes that did not appreciate the question. "Of course." 

"Well," the Cetra said, breaking that gaze on the pretense of remembering the way, "you'll need to head east past the mountains, and then south once you've left the valley. It's just east of the marshes." 

With a silent nod, the girl turned to go back the way they had come, not seeking any sort of goodbyes from her friends. 

"What a strange girl," Elmyra remarked. 

"I'd take weird over normal any day," Reno said, earning him another look of appraisal. 

"Come on, Reno," Aeris said, taking him by the arm. "Why don't I show you around while Mom makes dinner? You've never been to my house before, have you?" 

"Nope. Not inside it anyway." 

This caught Elmyra's attention. "How long have you known him, Aeris?" 

She exchanged glances with Reno, and he answered, "Must be almost ten years now, 'cause I remember it was my second year with Shinra that I met her." 

"...Shinra?" 

"He was a Turk, Mom--the one who always let me get away." 

Reno made a little bow as Elmyra studied him with a frown. When she said nothing, Aeris tugged Reno towards the stairs, letting go his arm when they reached the second floor. She entered her bedroom with a rueful smile, finding that all was as she had left it; her floral comforter still looked hurriedly smoothed, as though she had slept there only the night before and left in a hurry. 

"So this is your room, huh?" Reno remarked from the doorway. 

"Yeah," she replied, sitting down slowly on her bed. "It's so strange, being back here. It's almost like nothing's changed, like I was here with Cloud just yesterday." 

"Cloud's been here?" 

"You remember, don't you? The day he was there to protect me from you? He took me home." 

"Ah, so that's how your mom learned to perfect those disapproving looks." 

Aeris shook her head. "No, he's only been here the one time as far as I know." 

There was a short silence between them, and then Reno asked, "So I guess I'm staying in the other room, huh?" 

She nodded. "That's right." 

He came over to sit down beside her. "You know, Aeris, I'd almost say you're better at this than Min. And that's kinda scaring me." 

"Grief isn't something I really learned to deal with," she said. "When Mom died, I... Well, I could still hear her voice, so it didn't feel like she was gone. When I lost Zack, I told myself it was because we'd never been very serious, and that he'd probably just moved on without remembering to say goodbye. When it was me who died... It's strange, being dead. I could watch you as much as I wanted, and it was almost like being a part of your lives, but you could never notice me or understand what I was going through--and that wasn't much different from when I was alive. 

"But this time... I don't know. I just keep telling myself, he'll be coming back, because I don't know what to do if he doesn't." 

Reno put an arm around her. "He's a tough guy, Sephiroth. If they don't let him come back, he'll find a way to do it anyway." 

Aeris closed her eyes and leaned against him. Just for this moment, she could accept someone else's comfort.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Originally, they only stopped by Elmyra's house so Aeris could pick up some things, and then they continued on. It took an insanely short amount of time to get anywhere in LFA. . So, I decided I'd have them spend the night, which gave me a nice excuse to split the scene. Aeris's exchange with Reno there at the end is also entirely new, and I'm glad I added it. 


	38. Homecomings

**Chapter 37: Homecomings**

"Hey, Dad, I'm home!" Yuffie called as she stepped in through the front door and kicked off her shoes. As she pulled the door shut, she added under her breath, "Just in case you care." It was cruel of her, she knew; Godo _did_ care about her. The two of them had just never gotten along very well. Much of that was due to the fact that while he had allowed himself to be subdued by the Shinra, she had not. She was stronger, and the thought shamed him. She offered a brief prayer to the gods that someday he would be proud of her instead. 

She walked down the hall to her room, sliding open the door and setting down her pack. After a pause, she crept back down the hall to her father's room and stood before the door, debating whether or not she should bother. Finally, she slid it open. 

Godo looked up from where he sat on his futon and smiled in that very faint, slightly condescending way he did when he wasn't really paying attention. "Hello, Yuffie." 

"Hi," she replied, noting that he didn't say 'welcome back.' Had he even noticed how long she'd been gone? "I just wanted to let you know I'm back from saving the world again." 

"Are you now?" he asked coolly. 

Yuffie nodded, switching to a more serious tone. "The Planet is now free of both Shinra and Jenova. By the grace of the gods, it will flourish again." 

He studied her for a moment, then simply nodded. "That is good." 

It was frustrating. Here she was, leader of Wutai--considering Godo didn't do much besides sleep--in her home, with her father, and she was speaking in _Common_. She missed the clear sound of Wutain and the beauty of its words; it was as though Godo had forgotten it after the war. Maybe, she considered, maybe she could teach it to Nanaki, if only so she could speak it to someone and know that they cared and understood. She wondered if his kind had their own language, too, one that he rarely got the chance to use. 

What was worse than this, though, were the limited responses Godo gave her. Not a word of curiosity, nothing to indicate he cared, not even a simple 'good job' or 'nice work.' Just that impersonal 'that is good.' He might as well have been stating that Da-chao was still standing; that probably would have been less pointless. 

Yuffie suppressed a sigh and tried again. "How has Wutai fared this past week?" 

"It's done well," he answered. She nearly cursed, but he went on. "Our merchants had a better week than usual. Many of the villagers asked about where you'd gone, but I couldn't tell them much." 

Was that it? Was he angry because she hadn't been able to tell him what she was doing without spending hours explaining? _Well, sorry_, she thought angrily. _It's not my fault you never wanted to listen to my stories._ "It's good that trade's picking up," she said, hiding her bitterness. "As for where I went... Well, if anyone's _really_ curious, I guess they'll stop by and ask." 

Godo nodded sagely. 

"It was really nice to see my friends again," she offered. 

"Was it?" he asked, but this time the simple question held a hint of interest. 

Yuffie nodded. "Especially Nanaki--he's the big cat from Cosmo Canyon. I used to tease him a lot, but he's really nice, and wise, and more mature than I'll ever be--you'd like him. Anyway, I got a chance to change his opinion of me, and we're really close now." 

She sensed that he had nothing to say to this, and she expected him to drop the line of conversation, but he surprised her by asking, "What about your other friends?" 

_Progress!_ she thought, trying to restrain her eagerness in light of what she had to say. "Well, there was Aeris--this is kind of a long story, but... See, Sephiroth killed her five years ago, but he regenerated or _something_ a month ago, and he revived her, to atone, I guess, only it didn't stop there. They got involved in this whole mess with Professor Hojo--one of Shinra's old scientists--which is why they called us in, and they _fell in love_! How ironic is that? Still, it was kind of sweet, except that after we killed Hojo, Sephiroth died fighting Jenova. Aeris is convinced he'll come back, though, because he promised her he would." 

Godo nodded slowly, trying to process her story, and she realized with some embarrassment that she had been talking too fast again. "That is tragic," he allowed. 

The ninja faltered. "Dad, do you think...? Aeris says Sephiroth's being judged somewhere. I asked her to tell me if I could do anything to help him out, and I was wondering if maybe you'd be willing to help, too, if we could..." _Stupid_, she told herself, trailing off as she saw the expression on Godo's face. 

"Help Sephiroth...?" he asked, a mixture of incredulity and anger rising in his voice. She recognized the tone from when she had tried to convince him to stand up to Shinra, from when he had been deeply ashamed to call her his daughter. "Help the very man who led Shinra's armies against us?" 

"I know you hate him, and I did, too," Yuffie admitted, "but I've learned to give people second chances. You shouldn't condemn a person unless you really know them. I know Sephiroth now, and I can't do that. He can be cold and precise, but he's not heartless. Far from it, he can even be compassionate. And even if I didn't believe that, I'd still want to help him, if only for Aeris's sake. She's the closest thing to an angel you'll ever find." 

For a long time Godo said nothing. At length he sighed and said, "I will think about it." 

Recognizing the dismissal, Yuffie inclined her head and slipped back out of his room. She doubted that he'd actually give it any thought, much less decide to help Sephiroth, but that he had left these two possibilities open was more than she could have hoped for. It used to be that when they disagreed, they'd turn immediately to shouting. 

She strode back down the hallway and shoved aside the doors to her room, flopping down on the futon without bothering to change into her pajamas. _Pink_, she thought distastefully as she caught sight of the blanket's fabric. Although she'd long since moved back into her father's house, it seemed she didn't really spend much time here. _Should really get a new blanket_, Yuffie decided as she drifted off.

* * *

Despite his earlier anxiety to get home, Cid was reluctant to go straight to his house. He shuffled along the street, annoyed that it was too late for there to be any distractions on the way. When his house came into view, he frowned nervously and shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling for the little ring box. Did he really have to ask her tonight? After all, it was really late; it wouldn't hurt if he put it off until... 

_No._ If he succumbed to that kind of thinking, it would just be the past five years all over again. _It can wait 'til tomorrow_, he'd told himself every single day. Hell no. He wasn't about to get into that cycle again. He picked up his pace determinedly, practically kicking open the door. 

Shera jumped up from where she'd been sitting at the kitchen table, startled out of her wits. Probably she'd decided to wait up for him and might even have been dozing. _Damn_, he thought. _Have to stop being so fucking loud._

Her expression quickly changed to joy, but she only smiled and said, "Welcome home, Cid." 

He grinned, trying not to show his disappointment when she didn't run up and hug him or anything. "Thanks, Shera." After all, why should she, when all he'd ever done was push her away? 

"R-right," she faltered, surprised by even a simple thanks. "Do you want some tea? You look tired." 

"Sit down," he said, waving a hand as he shut the door and plopped down in a chair himself. "I'm all right, it's just been a long day is all." Realizing that only confirmed his fatigue, he added, "Well, actually, I've got something on my mind." 

"Did your, er, mission go well?" she asked, sitting down and watching him cautiously. 

"Most of us came out of it okay," Cid answered, leaning back, "but Aeris's goin' through hell." 

"She was your friend who died, wasn't she?" 

"Yeah. I told you Sephiroth brought her back. She kinda fell in love with him, which is really screwed, and he's dead at the moment, which is worse." 

Shera nodded. "It sounds like a lot happened. Do you think she'll be all right?" 

"She may not look it, but she's tough. 'sides, who's to say he'll stay dead? Certainly didn't the last two times." 

"For her sake then, if for no other reason, I hope the pattern holds. Though from your earlier stories, I don't quite understand it." 

"He was sane this time," Cid replied with a shrug. "Guess he's nicer than he looks or something." 

"I suppose." 

This was getting nowhere. He sat up and shoved one hand into his pocket. "Hey, Shera, I, uh..." 

"Yes, Cid?" 

"Shit, I should've done this years ago," he muttered, getting to his feet. He forced himself to meet her confused and uncertain gaze, got down on one knee, and thrust the ring towards her as though he couldn't stand holding the thing. "Marry me?" 

She gaped at him in disbelief. "W-what?" 

"Will you marry me?" he enunciated more clearly, flushing in embarrassment. 

"Oh, Cid!" she exclaimed, clasping his hand rather than taking the ring. "You really mean it, don't you? Of _course_ I will!" 

He grinned in relief, and freed his hand to slip the ring on her finger. "You were startin' to scare me there," he told her, getting to his feet and pulling her along with him. 

She blushed and lowered her head. "I'm sorry. I just... After all these years, I thought you--" 

He lifted her head and claimed her mouth in a kiss, cutting off whatever she'd been about to say. _Oh, yeah. Should've done this a _long_ time ago._

Cid suddenly realized that they did not own a single bed. He himself slept on a couch in a cluttered back room, and he hadn't a clue where Shera slept. He'd asked her once, she'd gestured vaguely, and that had been the end of it. 

He broke away, taking her hand and leading her towards his room. "Shera, I don't know where the hell you've been sleepin', but the couch'd _better_ be big enough. We're buyin' a bed tomorrow." 

She laughed as she followed him into the room and shut the door behind them.

* * *

Minerva returned with the chocobos mid-morning, looking vaguely tired, though it may have been her melancholia. Aeris bid her and Reno wait just a moment while she went back up to get some things from her room--the diary she had kept hidden under the bed, her brush from the nightstand, and a slender children's book she had kept in a drawer. To be sure, it was a fairy tail for little girls, but ever since Elmyra had first read it to her, she had kept it close, reading it every now and then, even when she had grown older. 

A misunderstood peasant girl, locked away in a dungeon for no reason but her abnormality. A young guard, yet unmarred by battle, who stood by her cell day after day, talked to her, and learned to love her. One day, he stepped into the cell and confessed his love, and she sprouted a pair of glorious wings. He bid her fly far away, but she took his hand and carried him with her. 

A fairy tail. A book for little girls. 

But Aeris loved it all the same. She tucked it away in her bag and hurried back downstairs, embracing Elmyra again at the door. "I'll come visit longer when Sephiroth comes back," she promised. "I'll introduce the two of you." 

Her mother nodded, though the thought of her daughter being in love with Sephiroth still visibly unsettled her. "All right, dear. Take care." She cast a glance at Reno and lowered her voice to add, "And watch out for him. He'll be trouble." 

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about Reno," Aeris assured her. "He and Minerva are practically inseparable. He's only like this now because she's having trouble dealing with her brother's death..." 

Looking out, she saw that her friends stood ready. "Well, Mom," she said, "it's time we were off. I'll see you later." 

"Goodbye, dear." 

Giving her foster mother a short wave, Aeris went to join her friends, climbing up on one of the chocobos, on which Minerva had laid Sephiroth's body. Reno and Minerva rode the other bird, the girl looking somewhat uncomfortable with the closeness and the redhead just a little too pleased. 

From there they travelled north, not stopping until they reached the Sleeping Forest, where they dismounted and drew the chocobos along behind them. Aeris led the way, and the trees seemed to come alive for her, though she had no music to wake them and night was falling uncannily fast. 

She paused at the crest of the slope just outside the Forest and looked down upon the City of the Ancients. A huge, stone-roofed building marked its center, and a path led out from it, branching into many others that led to homes shaped like conch shells, walls cracked and worn thin by wind and water. In some places, white structures spiraled upward only to end at nothing, looking like the bones of some great creature bleached white by the sun. 

The City itself lay on a wide, flat island in the center of a lake that looked as though its surface had never been anything but ice. All around were grave and stony cliff-faces. At irregular intervals the wind would pick up and howl through this valley, lamenting its loneliness. 

Before them a path stretched downward into the City, a line of pale stone discs that reminded her of a twisting spine. Aeris descended slowly, pausing when she reached the split in the path. Straight ahead was the lake where Cloud had placed her and from which Sephiroth had pulled her. She remembered how unnerved and frightened she had been to wake and look into those blue-green eyes, and she wondered how that could have been, for now she longed to feel that same gaze upon her. 

By the lake's shore was the lonely shell house adorned with a bony crown. Inside that lay the crystalline staircase leading down, down, down into that place suspended in nothingness, the place where the altar sat, the place where Sephiroth had killed her. She felt faintly thankful that he had stabbed her from behind; she did not want to know how his eyes had looked as he had killed her. 

"You okay?" 

She shook herself and glanced at Reno. "Yes, I'm all right. I just... have some very strong memories of this place." 

"You're sure this is where you want to stay?" he asked. 

"Yes. This is the only place I really belong. My deathbed and the place of my rebirth..." She shook her head and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. Let's go." 

Aeris turned down the right fork, finding the house that seemed in the best shape, with no holes in its curved walls. Stepping inside, she climbed the ladder to the upper floor where three beds occupied a small room. People must have stayed here since the time of the Ancients. Researchers, perhaps, before Shinra's time. 

She passed her hand by one of the blue globes adorning the walls, feeling a murmur of voices compressed in one instant. It was enough to tell her that the Cetra were in an uproar; perhaps Sephiroth truly _had_ gone to the Promised Land. 

Aeris flopped back onto the nearest bed, letting her bag fall from her fingers onto the floor. Minerva walked past to lay Sephiroth's body on the far bed and went to lean against a wall. Reno tugged at her arm, but when she only shook her head, he sat down on the remaining bed. 

Aeris closed her eyes in a weariness that had little to do with bodily fatigue. It was cold in here, too, she thought. After a moment she realized that she had a blanket, and she roused herself enough to crawl beneath it before closing her eyes again. 

_Is watching you_, the Planet clipped abruptly. 

"Sephiroth?" she asked, more loudly and eagerly than she had intended. Both her friends looked her way. 

_Yes. Call out. Does not know can hear him._

She sensed its presence fading, and she called "Wait! I wanted to ask you something." 

A hesitation. _Ask._

"Yuffie said she wanted to help Sephiroth somehow..." 

_Not dead._

"I know, but shouldn't the living have some say in his fate?" 

_...will see what can do. Count on nothing, but know Yuffie not only friend who wants to help._

"Thank you, my friend." 

_Friend_, the Planet murmured, as though testing out the word. It sent a smile, then left her. 

"What was that all about?" Reno asked when she had been silent for a long moment. 

Aeris started, having completely forgotten about her companions. "I was talking to the Planet," she explained absently, slipping back out of the bed. "I wonder..." Leaving them both quite confused, she went down the ladder and stepped outside. 

"Sephiroth?" she called softly into the wind. 

A hesitant reply. _Aeris...?_

She smiled broadly. "It's so good to hear your voice." 

_I'm sorry. If I had known, I would have said something sooner._

"That's all right. The Planet said you were watching me; are you in the Promised Land then?" 

_Yes. I met your mother; she said she would defend me._

Aeris nodded. "She told me she would. I wish _I_ could, though." 

_I know._

"Try to defend yourself, too, all right? Knowing you, you'll have more to say against yourself than anyone else..." 

_I will do my best_, he said, though there was doubt in his words. 

"Just think of all you've done for me, especially in this past life. And... remember that I love you." 

There was a long pause. _It is... To hear you say that... I..._

She smiled ruefully. "I wish I could have told you sooner." 

_That's all right._

"Do you know anything more about your trial?" 

_Not really. I've been watching you since Ifalna showed me how; it's obvious I'm not welcome here._

"I know the feeling," she said, stifling a yawn. She did not want to let go the comfort of his voice. 

_You should rest_, he said hesitantly. _You still haven't recovered from that battle, and you've been travelling all day._

Aeris sighed. "All right, but you had better be there to talk to when I wake." 

_I'll try._

"Good night, Sephiroth." 

_Good night, Aeris. Sweet dreams._

* * *

Ifalna remembered a time, not long ago, when her daughter had sat here and watched as her killer rose from the dead and wandered blindly into a blizzard, as he blinked in confusion at the children who fled his gaze, and even as he knelt by her still body to call her back to it. Now Sephiroth had taken her place, his chin in hands as he watched with the same rapt attention, a fond smile on his face that might have made even his delicate features look boyish had there not been pain to accompany it. 

With a rueful smile she left him alone in the tree house, climbing down to lean against the trunk that held it. She was glad that Aeris could at least have his voice. It would make her burden easier to bear, both now, and if they decided against Sephiroth. 

Unless, she considered, her smile fading, unless with the sentence he was expelled from the Promised Land. 

Saerni came to join her, silent at first, guessing her friend's thoughts. "How is he?" she asked finally. 

"He's watching her quite intently," Ifalna replied. "I doubt he'd even notice if I spoke to him." 

"Just like Aeris was, yes? Only it wasn't him she was watching." 

"He was dead most of those five years. When he returned, she watched him then." 

"Which strikes me as rather odd." 

"I would dismiss it as worry and curiosity if I didn't know Aeris. But she remembers what he was like as a boy. I think she was looking for some trace of that." 

Saerni nodded sagely and said nothing. 

Ifalna shook her head. "I don't know how he'll manage without her during the trial." 

"He still despises himself; I've seen it." Saerni glanced at her appraisingly. "It will pose a great difficulty in defending him, if that is indeed what you intend to do." 

"I do." 

"My friend, you are taking on a very formidable task. Many of the others are already bent on making certain he does not live again. Those few who think otherwise fall silent in the face of their arguments. They will not stand up for him." 

"But the Planet has chosen to exclude those who are not involved." 

Saerni shook her head. "Narsa spoke to it and convinced it to let a few of us speak in the trial. He argued that we are involved because he is in our Promised Land now, and we should have some say in whether or not he stays." 

Ifalna sighed. "How many, and who?" 

"Three," Saerni answered. "Narsa is one of them. The other two have not yet been chosen." 

"You should be one of them, my friend." 

"I requested as much." 

Ifalna nodded in satisfaction. "I want to have a word with Narsa. Will you keep watch here?" 

"Of course," Saerni replied. "I'll make certain no one bothers him." 

"Thank you." Ifalna straightened and walked off to find Narsa. She did not have to look far; it seemed he had been on his way to see her. 

Narsa had been the last of his family to die at Jenova's hands. He had barely lived to reach his twenties, never fallen in love, never had children of his own. One would think he would feel grateful to Sephiroth for finally killing the parasite, but instead he held a deep anger against the swordsman. To him, helping Jenova was unforgivable, and killing her was not nearly enough to atone. His lack of consideration for how the Planet had benefited angered her, and it must have shown on her face. 

"I suppose Saerni has told you that the Planet has given me a voice in the trial," he said. "You don't seem very pleased." 

"Of course I don't," she nearly snapped. "Sephiroth doesn't need any more voices speaking against him. He'll have enough to deal with as it is." 

Narsa scoffed. "I know you, Ifalna. Your voice alone will prove a strong defense, and you have your daughter to use as leverage." 

"Leverage!" she exclaimed indignantly, but he went on before she could get in another word. 

"Sephiroth has had enough lives, enough chances. We should let his will diffuse into the Lifestream. He has served his purpose; why grant him yet another life?" 

"But he has done a thing greater than any of us," Ifalna said. "Surely that deserves some reward." 

Narsa shook his head. "It was only recompense for his earlier deeds. Now that he has done something to atone, we can let him die without wont of a greater punishment." 

"Death would be more punishment than he deserves, and completely unjust to Aeris." 

"She was given life again. That should be enough to repay her for what she did." 

"But _we_ didn't give her that life!" Ifalna said sharply. "All we have ever done is take from her. She died for the Planet, separating her from everything she held dear, and we could offer her nothing in return but an empty existence here. And now, now you want to take the man she loves away from her? Hasn't she lost enough already?" 

"This is not about your daughter, Ifalna," Narsa told her coldly. "This is about Sephiroth." 

"Sephiroth is tied inextricably to Aeris. You cannot judge him without affecting her." 

He raised an eyebrow. "What, you think we should try them both together? Consider both of their actions? That would surely earn him a life again, one he does not deserve." 

"Why doesn't he deserve it?" 

"After he killed so many, you have to ask that? What vexes me most is that we are debating _his_ life, while no one even raises a question about the lives of his _victims_! Are they to remain dead, when so many of them died without reason, while he, with his undeniable guilt, is allowed a _fourth_ life?" 

"His fourth? I would not call it his fourth; he has never truly gotten a chance to live before." 

Narsa frowned. "I lived for fewer years than he, and still I have never asked for another life." 

"He has someone waiting for him, Narsa," she replied with a gentleness that surprised even her, "someone who deserves happiness more than any of us, and without him she cannot have it. Everyone dear to you was already here." 

"Again you bring your daughter into it. Have you no better argument?" 

"Why shouldn't I bring her into it?" she asked. "She is the one whom this will affect the most, and yet she is denied a voice. But even without her, he would still deserve another chance, to live for himself and not anyone else, be it Shinra, or Jenova, or even our Planet. Besides, if he lives again, you won't have to deal with him here; does that answer satisfy your selfishness?" 

Narsa snorted. "If he lives again, Ifalna, then eventually he will die again, and where will he end up? Here. Because by then he'll have earned the Planet's favor, and everyone else's." 

"Well, then I don't see what you're so angry about, Narsa. If he earns _everyone_'s favor, then that includes yours, doesn't it?" 

"Clever," he said flatly, "but I don't want to have anything to do with him." 

"No one said you had to." 

He made a fierce gesture in the direction of her house. "But everyone _knows_ he's there. You can't ignore him." 

Ifalna sighed in frustration, wondering if there was anyone he would listen to. "Then you'll just have to learn to like him," she told him, "because I've a feeling he'll be back here again, permanently. Anyway, will I have to deal with others like you? Who else among us gets a voice?" 

"Saerni and Ishiri," Narsa answered with a frown. "Both helped defeat Jenova the first time, and both support Sephiroth. I think the Planet is biased." 

Ifalna smiled amicably. "Well, of course it's biased. Sephiroth saved its life, and Aeris is its dearest friend." 

"If he didn't have so many victims to speak against him, I'd think this was a one-sided argument." 

"With stubborn people like you on the opposing side? Hardly." 

Narsa smiled wryly. "Probably the closest thing to a compliment I'll get from you, Ifalna. At least you agree I can put up a good argument." 

She nodded. "Yes, you can. But so can I." With that she turned away from Narsa, heading back to her home. She could feel his eyes on her back, penetrating and speculative, and she hoped that Sephiroth would be able to stand up to that accusing stare in addition to all the others. 

She wished Aeris could be here; her daughter had always been better at understanding and helping people than she had. Ifalna had no doubt that Aeris and Aeris alone could have saved Sephiroth. But why had she had to fall in love with him as well? If he died, Aeris, too, would die. And despite her words, Ifalna wasn't sure how well she could defend the swordsman.

* * *

From the moment she entered the clothing shop, Minerva could feel the shopkeeper's curious gaze on her, but she did her best to ignore him and went swiftly about her task. The store was fairly small, most of its items folded neatly and stacked on shelves built into the walls, and only a few racks occupied the floor. 

"Sure are underdressed," the man at the counter remarked. 

"The cold does not bother me," she deadpanned. 

"Then why're you lookin' for a jacket?" 

"It's for a friend." She found a long black coat, trimmed in places with white and red, and pulled it out for closer scrutiny. It looked warm enough, she decided, wanting to escape this man's gaze as soon as she could. 

"Twenty-three, huh?" he asked. 

She froze for an instant before draping the coat over one arm and moving on, giving him no reply. 

"I remember that was some kinda fad in Midgar some years back, getting number tattoos. That where you're from?" 

"Yes." Minerva picked up a heavy jacket for Reno, then went on the look for suitable blankets. 

"You look a little young, though, to've gotten one back then," the man went on speculatively. 

She suppressed a sigh of annoyance and strode across to the other side of the shop to inspect the blankets folded there. She wondered if the man was bored; perhaps he did not get many customers. Then again, she supposed she looked rather odd, with her pale skin and paler hair, her scant clothing--considering the temperature--and her tattoo. 

"I hear Sephiroth started the whole thing," the man went on. "Had a number 1 tattoo, apparently. Dunno quite how anyone found out about it, but maybe they just made it up..." 

Minerva walked up to the counter and dropped her things down atop it. "How much?" she asked brusquely, pretending she had not heard a thing he had said. 

The man stared at her for a moment, then turned to ring the items up. "Come to think of it, you look sorta like Sephiroth, too, if you don't mind my saying so... That'll be 1500 gil." 

With a wry smile, she plunked down the coins, gathered her things, and left the shop. Hoping that a change in dress might make her blend in more, she pulled on the black coat before stuffing the other items into a bag. The warmth felt surprisingly good, but it was more important to her that she avoid further questions about her tattoo; that number was one of the few things that could make her self-conscious. 

The second shop she visited was somewhat larger than the first, having several aisles and a number of other customers browsing them. A middle-aged woman leaned against the counter, drawing the shopkeeper's conversation. A girl who couldn't be any older than Minerva herself stopped to stare at her as she walked past. Minerva slowed, quirking an eyebrow. 

"Okay, you're not an albino," the girl decided, looking her over with furrowed brows, "so what's with the white hair?" 

"You are not an alien," Minerva replied coolly, "so what's with the brown hair?" 

The girl stared at her, then laughed. "Okay, okay, so I'm not the politest person in the world. You new here?" 

"Yes," she answered, eyeing the girl warily. She had hazel eyes behind a pair of black-rimmed glasses, and a floppy, narrow-brimmed hat pulled over her short dark hair. Her clothes were comfortable, practical, and earthy-toned. She looked harmless enough. 

"Where'd you move in?" the girl continued, but she only shrugged. "Haven't got a place yet?" 

Minerva shook her head. "I am only here for supplies." 

She frowned in confusion, pushing up her glasses. "So... you're headed for Snow Village?" When this earned her another shrug, she sighed. "Well, you're forthcoming." 

"Excuse me for not telling my life story to a complete stranger," Minerva said dryly, turning away. 

The girl followed, a sheepish grin on her face. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just curious and trying to be friendly--without succeeding, I guess. Anyway, what's your name?" 

She hesitated, but what harm could it do? "Minerva." 

"That's a cool name. Better than Delphine anyway. That's mine." 

"Delphine is an interesting name," the silver-haired girl responded tentatively. 

"Interesting? I guess I should take that as a compliment." 

Minerva shrugged absently, her mind more on what she was buying. She was glad she had paid a few visits to the inn at Cosmo Canyon; otherwise she would have had no idea what humans needed as far as food went. 

"Where're you from anyway?" the girl wondered. 

"I... grew up in Midgar, but we've come here from Cosmo Canyon." 

"Cosmo Canyon, huh? We used to talk about going there, me and my best friend, but she up and left two weeks ago. Don't know where she's gone, but I really miss her." 

Minerva frowned thoughtfully. "Your friend, what is her name?" 

Delphine blinked. "Er, Katrina. Why do you ask?" 

"I believe I have met her. She is a friend of my brother's, and she is staying in Cosmo Canyon. We haven't spoken, though, so I could not tell you more than that." 

"Well, it's good to know she's okay. I'm kinda disappointed she didn't write me, though." 

"These past two weeks have been... rather tumultuous." 

"Really now?" the girl wondered, and when Minerva gave her no reply she asked more timidly, "So... do you _mind_ my asking where you're headed?" 

Minerva glanced at her. If people bothered--or, rather, dared--to enter the City, Aeris likely would not have chosen to go there. "My friends and I are staying in the City of the Ancients," she said finally. 

Delphine blinked. "You're kidding, right?" When she shook her head, the girl went on incredulously, "You're staying in those old ruins? And you have to trek through the Sleeping Forest just to pick up supplies?" 

"The Forest isn't very wide," Minerva pointed out. 

"But people get lost in there. People _die_ in there." 

"I seem to be all right." 

"Well... yeah..." Delphine faltered and frowned, searching for some reason for this anomaly. 

In the pause, Minerva headed for the counter with the girl trailing after. She paid for her own items and exited the shop without waiting for her unwanted companion. Some moments later, though, Delphine trotted up to walk along beside her. Minerva wondered why she bothered; she had not thought her personality that appealing. 

"So really, how'd you make it through?" the girl wanted to know. "Did one of your friends wake the Forest? They must know something pretty special, 'cause I've never seen anyone wake it." 

The silver-haired girl shrugged. "The trees just seemed to like her." 

"Weird. What made you guys decide to stay _there_ of all places? It's so remote." 

"Exactly." 

Delphine blinked. She seemed to have just caught Minerva's desire for solitude and appeared uncertain whether or not to continue. "So... how long are you staying?" she asked finally. 

"I am not sure." 

"What are you doing there?" 

"Living." 

"Just living? Won't you get bored?" 

Minerva looked at her in surprise. "Why should I be bored?" 

The girl blinked. "Well, I mean... What is there to do there?" 

"Explore," she answered simply. "Besides, I have my friends." 

Curiosity entered Delphine's voice, overcoming her desire for concrete facts and things that made sense in her world inhabited by humans alone. "What's it like there?" 

Minerva faltered, not sure what the girl wanted. "Colder than here, with a strong wind..." 

"No, I mean, what's it look like?" 

They had walked to the northernmost part of the town, where the Forest began, thick even at the edges as though to ward off any who might wish to enter. As though to keep humans away from the sacred and almost haunted ruins of the ancient city. Minerva paused at a wide gap between two trees that might once have been the start of a path and turned back to Delphine. 

"It is... in the center of a lake of ice, and the ground is equally frozen. A large circular building stands at its center, and around it are smaller buildings Reno described as 'shell-like.' Everything is blue and grey and white, but somehow it seems as though something there is alive..." She fell silent, feeling that she had already said more than she had intended. 

Delphine smiled, asking no more questions. "Sounds pretty," she said. "Wish I could see it." 

The silver-haired girl felt something of her regret. "Perhaps you could visit," she suggested. 

"Yeah, maybe." 

She faltered. "Delphine--thank you." 

The girl regarded her in a surprised confusion. "What for?" 

"For caring," she replied. _And for letting lie what I would rather not explain to a stranger._ She turned and stepped into the Forest, the roots and sparse underbrush not slowing her fluid pace. 

"See you, Minerva!" Delphine called after her. 

Minerva surprised herself by raising a hand in farewell, though she did not look back.

* * *

She lay beneath the blanket, cold, so cold. She curled up tighter and felt someone lay another blanket on top of her. "Thanks, Seph," she murmured sleepily. 

"Seph?" 

Aeris's eyes snapped open, and she looked up to see Reno standing at her bedside, his expression torn between amusement and concern. "Oh... Reno... Sorry," she fumbled, memory returning in a painful flood. There was no way _Sephiroth_ would be at her bedside. 

"It's okay," he said, shrugging it off and sitting down beside her. 

She sat up, clutching both blankets tightly around her. Gods, it was cold. "Where's Minerva?" she asked, looking around. 

"She left for Bone village to pick up some supplies about an hour ago." 

Aeris nodded hesitantly. "Are you sure she'll be all right on her own? I mean..." 

Reno snorted. "Min's not clueless. Maybe she hasn't been in many stores before, but she'll figure it out." 

She shook her head. "No, that's not what I--well, maybe a little, but I was more concerned about the Forest. But I suppose she'll be all right finding her way through it. I think it just doesn't like humans. She'll probably confuse it, but hopefully it'll remember she was with me." 

The redhead regarded her curiously and then shook his head. "It's weird, this Sleeping Forest thing. I'm kinda glad I never had to deal with it before." 

Aeris nodded and let her gaze wander the room. Inevitably it fell on the inert form of Sephiroth, and she stared for a moment before bowing her head and whispering, "Sephiroth?" 

_Good morning._ His voice was a gentle caress in her mind. He sounded faintly amused. 

She smiled. "Saw my little blunder earlier, did you?" 

"Aeris?" Reno queried, obviously confused. 

She looked up. "Oh, sorry... I suppose I should explain..." 

_Good luck._

"Thanks," she murmured. "Well, you see... Sephiroth is part Cetra himself. The Jenova in him is far stronger, but he can hear the other Cetra, and enter the Promised Land. I think... maybe with practice he could hear the Planet, but I'm not sure. Anyway, like the other Cetra, he can speak to me." 

Reno stared at her as he tried to process this. "All right," he said slowly, "so he really is an Ancient after all? That's kinda... ironic." 

"It is, isn't it?" 

"I guess that's nice, though, being able to at least talk to him." 

Aeris nodded. 

"Does being part Cetra score him any points in the afterlife?" 

She hesitated, waiting for an answer. 

_Perhaps a few see it as a good thing, but most of them are revolted and angry to discover it. They will probably condemn me doubly for being 'one of them' and still having it in me to act cruelly._

"No, not really," she sighed. Aside, she replied, "It's disgusting to hear that they place themselves so much higher than humans that they expect every one of their kind to behave purely." 

_You think so...?_

"It's hypocritical," she declared, forgetting to lower her voice. "They claim to be pure, and yet in condemning you, they malign that so-called purity. Surely some of them are more understanding...?" 

_Well, there is your mother. She is far more accepting than she was when I first met her, probably on your account. Aside from her, I have seen few Cetra, but most of them dislike my presence here. Only one, Ifalna's friend, allowed me a chance to speak. She does not seem prejudiced against me, but nor does she seem terribly supportive._

"As long as she's keeping an open mind, that's good." She remembered she was not alone when Reno fidgeted, and she looked up at him sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Reno. I should go outside or something..." 

"No, that's all right. I'll leave." He got up before she could argue and was already halfway to the ladder when he flashed her a grin. "Tell him I said hi." 

Aeris watched him start down with a smile. "He can hear you, you know." 

Reno paused. "Oh." Finding some imaginary point above him to wave at, he called cheerfully, "Hey, Seph! Be not dead soon, will ya?" Then, nodding as though he had heard some response, he disappeared into the lower level. 

_He is certainly a good choice if you want someone to cheer you up_, Sephiroth remarked. 

"Yeah, he is," she agreed. 

_...did you really mean what you said before, about me being able to hear the Planet someday?_

Aeris nodded. "I think maybe you could. The Planet doesn't sound like anything you're used to hearing. It doesn't use words. So, to really hear and understand it, you have to teach your mind to translate its images and feelings into words. My mother taught me how when I was little, but you never learned." 

_So you think you could teach me how to listen?_

"Yes, I think so," she said with a smile. "It would probably like that." 

Sephiroth seemed perplexed. _Why?_

"So it can have another friend. It's lonely, with no other living planets nearby and me as the only living Cetra who hears it. I don't know how much the others interact with it, but it isn't enough." 

_...you are quite confident that I will live again, aren't you?_

"Surely they couldn't be so cruel as to condemn you after you saved the Planet." 

_But I also nearly destroyed it._

She tugged the blankets closer about her body, wishing she could embrace him. "They should understand. Even Cloud couldn't keep hating you once I explained everything to him. You just have to be brave and tell them some of what you've told me." 

_But that is--_

"Too personal?" she interrupted. "You don't have to let them see so deeply, but they need to know you have emotions. They need to know how lost you were. Otherwise..." 

_All right. I will try. But to bear even a little of my soul to wolves is... frightening._

"You shouldn't fear them. I know you; you're strong enough to bear anything they can say. It's more than I can do." 

At first all she received in return was the impression of a frown, but after a moment passed, he murmured, _I hope you are right._

Hearing voices down below, Aeris guessed that Minerva had returned. "I'm going to go say hello." 

_All right._

Reluctant to leave the warmth of the blankets, she kept one wrapped about her like a shawl and stood. "Talk all you want," she told Sephiroth. "Even if I don't reply." 

He seemed surprised. _What for?_

"I just want to hear your voice." 

_...all right._

She went to the ladder and climbed down to join her friends. 

"Hey, Aeris," Reno greeted, while Minerva only nodded silently. 

"Hey," she replied. She noted the two full bags the girl carried and the black coat she wore. "I hope you have something for me," she said. "It's even colder than I remember it being." 

"Actually, this is yours," Minerva said, removing the coat and handing it to Aeris. "I only wore it to reduce the number of strange looks I received." 

The Cetra took it gratefully and pulled it on, letting the blanket fall from her shoulders. "Thanks." 

The girl shrugged, seeming a little uncomfortable. 

"Why don't you two come on up?" Aeris suggested. "Until we get an actual door, it'll always be colder down here." 

Reno nodded in agreement. "Min may not care, but I'm startin' to freeze." 

She herded him up the ladder, making certain he was above her this time, then followed him up, Minerva coming last. Reno sat down on his bed, leaning back on his hands, and Aeris straightened her own bed before sitting down upon it. Minerva remained standing near the wall. 

"So how's Sephiroth doing in the afterlife?" the redhead asked. 

"He's... all right," the Cetra replied, aware of how strange it seemed to talk about the well-being of a dead man. "A little nervous, though." 

_That is putting it lightly_, the swordsman commented. 

"Sephiroth gets nervous?" Reno asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Would you not be nervous, too, if you were to face all those you had killed so that they could decide your fate?" Minerva asked him. 

"Yeah, I probably would," the redhead admitted. 

"But he has the Planet on his side," Aeris said. "He should be fine." 

_The Planet? You mean to say the Planet will take part in the trial and speak for me?_

"Of course, silly," she whispered. "It's just as involved as anyone, after all. And it told me it would do what it could for you." 

_That is comforting to know._

She looked back at Reno and Minerva. "Sorry," she said. "It really is hard to hold two conversations at once, especially when you can only hear my replies..." 

"Can't you speak to him in your mind?" Minerva asked. The redhead glanced at her, surprised that she had taken this without question. Perhaps the swordsman had told her that he had Cetra in him. 

"I don't think so," Aeris said, shaking her head. _Can you hear me?_ she called experimentally, but no answer came. 

"In any case," the girl went on, something in her tone indicating a kind of envy; did she wish she could hear Sephiroth, too? "Do you have a better idea of how long it will be until he returns?" 

She shook her head. "We're not even sure when the trial will be." 

Minerva sighed and slumped back against the wall. 

Aeris decided to try to lighten the mood. "You two can't get married until he gets back, of course." 

"Married?" the girl wondered, glancing uncertainly at Reno. 

"Oh, I'm sure that's somewhere in your future. You've become practically inseparable." 

Reno threw Minerva a wink and looked back at Aeris with a grin. "Actually, she's already said yes," he confided. 

The Cetra smiled as Minerva blushed faintly. "Then congratulations to you both. But... I hope you wait. You've no idea what it's like to miss your best friend's wedding. Even if you're able to watch it, you can't laugh with them, or cry with them, or reassure them in those lulls in their joy, when they remember you and lament your absence." 

She shook her head quickly. She hadn't meant to say so much. "I'm sorry. I'm rambling." 

_Was that what it was like for you, when Cloud married Tifa?_ Sephiroth asked carefully. _You must have felt even worse, because it was not you he was marrying..._

She wished she could reply. 

"We don't mind," Reno assured her, and his grin quickly returned. "And we'll be sure not to get hitched until he's back." 

Aeris managed a smile. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it." 

_I have never been to a wedding before_, Sephiroth remarked thoughtfully. 

"Well, you'll get to go to at least two," she told him in a murmur. 

_Two?_

"We'll have one, too, someday, won't we?" 

_I hope so_, Sephiroth said, though he sounded a little hesitant. _I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I did not have to ask. I have heard proposing is a difficult task._

"Asking Sephiroth to marry you?" Reno asked in jest. 

Aeris looked up. "I guess you could say that, though I'm not sure you can be engaged to the dead." 

_It is a rather strange concept, isn't it? And even stranger to see my own body there._

"I know what you mean," she replied, glancing towards it involuntarily. "I wish I could bring you back right now." 

Reno and Minerva, sensing that she wanted only to talk to Sephiroth now, had taken their attention from her, and both now sat on the other bed, talking softly. 

_Even if the Planet would let you, the amount of energy it would drain from you would likely send you into a coma._

"How so?" she asked. 

_First there would be the matter of dragging my soul back all the way from the Promised Land, and then you would have to figure out how to heal my wounds before they killed me again, and give me enough energy to sustain myself..._

Aeris nodded, sighing. "You're right. I suppose the Planet will be the one to revive you." 

_I suppose_, Sephiroth agreed. _I wish I could speak to this protector of mine._

"You may yet," she told him. "If the Planet can find a way to drag living humans into the Promised Land--which I think it's doing at this very moment, with some level of consciousness anyway--then it can find a way to communicate with you, and you can learn to understand it." 

_The living are judging me as well?_ he asked uncertainly. 

"Don't worry. Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie--they'll help you. Hopefully I'll be allowed a word, too, but I've a feeling they think me too persuasive." 

_Of course, Aeris. If you were here, you could make them understand. You can do anything._

"I'm no goddess," she said sheepishly. 

_No_, Sephiroth conceded. _Just an angel._

* * *

She floated curled up in a black nothingness that seemed to pulse around her like the heartbeat of some great beast. She did not open her eyes; she knew there was nothing to see. She did not call out; she had never had a voice to speak with, and who would even care? They all hated her, all of them, everyone hated her... 

And she was tired, so tired. This seemed like a nice place to rest, to sleep, even though it felt as though going to sleep would mean forever. If it did, she did not care. Was this what death was like? If she could just go to sleep, she wouldn't be lonely anymore. She wouldn't feel their hatred anymore, particularly _his_. 

_Not yet, almost-child_, a voice that was not a voice told her gently. 

Jenova tried to open her eyes, and found that she simply did not have any. She had only imagined having a body because she had never been without one. _Not yet?_ she asked this stranger. 

_I want you to do something for me--for the only one you ever loved, really._

It couldn't possibly mean... _Sephiroth? When has he ever needed _me_ to help him? _

Since always. But you took advantage of him. Should not have. 

Who are you? Jenova wondered. The voice did not have the quality of a human's, nor a Cetra's, nor even her own kind's. 

_Most know me only as the Planet_, came the reply, and she thought she detected a faint trace of amusement. _It suits me just fine. _

The Planet...? But how can I hear you? I am certainly no Cetra. 

No. But I struggled with you for a long time before I brought you here. It is a non-space, just between the Lifestream and the Promised Land. 

The Promised Land, that place which Sephiroth had always been searching for. Jenova had always thought it such nonsense, and it was strange to find it real, strange to be here in this... this 'non-space,' talking to the Planet. _What do you expect of me, then? _

He killed you, but you also killed him. I wanted to give him life again, but others did not agree. So many voices in tumult over his life... What I have decided to do--the Cetra are calling it a trial. He needs all the help he can get. I do not want to have to kill him. I do not want to leave my last child lonely. I know you hate her, but please... 

You want me to speak for him? she asked, astonished by the request. 

_Yes_, it said with something like a smile. _I am letting all those involved have a word, if they wish it. _

Even the Cet--even Aeris? Jenova asked. She would have frowned in displeasure had she had a mouth. 

_Yes, even she will have her say._ It faltered. _I do not understand 'jealousy,' but I know it is strong. I had hoped you were stronger; so far you have not shown it._

It felt like a challenge. It also felt... like a chance. _Give me a voice, and I will speak._

* * *

Author's Notes  
The only major change to this part is the order of the scenes, so let me just say that I absolutely love the conversation between Jenova and the Planet. It was inspired by a remark one of my reviewers made, and I'm glad I wrote it. It has to be one of my favorites, however short it is. Although I guess it also demonstrates how flexible the plot was even so late in the story. I really had only the vaguest idea of where I was headed. Needless to say, I don't recommend that way of writing; it makes for a big clean-up job. 

Also, it's funny that sometimes when I look over stuff I've written, I can tell what I was reading at the time. For instance, when I was writing this, I was reading David Brin's Uplift books, some of which used sentient dolphins as main characters. Ergo the name Delphine. XP 

Apologies for updating so late today. I nearly forgot it was Tuesday. 


	39. A Heart and a Feather

**Chapter 38: A Heart and a Feather**

A light tap on his shoulder made him start and fight to keep from gripping the throat of his 'attacker.' Seeing Ifalna standing behind him, he relaxed. 

"Sephiroth?" she queried. "It's time." 

He nodded and stood, murmuring an apology. 

"It's all right. It isn't as though you can harm me." 

"I suppose not," he agreed. "Where am I being tried?" 

"There's a clearing we use for meetings," she answered. "It should serve well enough." 

"Right..." He cast one final glance at Aeris's form in the mirror. "I have to go," he told her quietly. 

She paused mid-sentence to whisper, "Good luck." 

Sephiroth smiled faintly, but when he turned to Ifalna his face was steely. "Lead the way." 

She led him down from the tree house and headed deeper into the forest, where the trees grew close together, forming a thick green canopy above them, blocking out most of the sunlight. They reached the clearing abruptly, and Sephiroth stopped by the last tree, one hand on its rough bark, staring out at those gathered here. 

The nameless faces of Nibelheim stared back at him, and he knew that somewhere in there were Cloud's family and friends. Shinra executives, troops, SOLDIERs, President Shinra, Talya, and--here he stiffened--Hojo. He did not let his gaze linger. Zack was there, as were Tseng and Ira, the gatekeeper. Only Jenova and Aeris seemed absent from those he had killed. 

Despite what Aeris had told him, he saw none of the living here. But then, perhaps they could not exist here for long. 

Reluctantly, the crowd parted to allow him through to the center, where an arc of wooden chairs sat with their backs to the crowd, all facing one lone seat. Only one of these places was occupied; in one chair of the circle sat a stranger who nevertheless seemed oddly familiar. 

Ifalna led him through the crowd, and he kept his gaze fixed on this being until finally, as he sat down across from it, he realized who it was. Its figure was sexless, slender and elegant, garbed in loose robes of earthen colors. Its soft brown hair was cut short, and its eyes were like the Lifestream itself: sparkling, glittering green. 

The Planet's chosen Cetra form smiled at him. "Welcome, Sephiroth," it said in a voice neither distinctly feminine nor masculine. 

He nodded slightly, tempted to stand again and bow, but something in the being's manner told him it was unnecessary. "Thank you, Planet," he said softly. 

Ifalna sat down in the seat to the far left of the Planet as it rose and turned to face the crowd. "Soldiers, peacemakers, friends, and strangers... People who died for no reason, and people who died for every reason... I have called you here, so very close to me, that you may cast your judgment on your friend, your murderer, your idol, your deceiver. All I ask, require is that he may speak a word of his for every one of yours." 

It glanced back at Sephiroth, and he saw traces of amusement in those eyes--amusement, perhaps, at the simple act of crafting sentences, of using words for the first time. Oddly, logically, he thought he sensed some of Aeris's patterns in its short speech. 

The Planet took in the seats with a sweep of its arm. "Any who wish to speak, to debate may come sit here. But only so many should speak at a time, moment; we've no need of an uproar." With that, it returned to its seat. Four chairs sat empty on its left, five on its right. People from the crowd threaded forward to fill them up. 

Narsa, a pair of Wutains, a Shinra guard, Saerni... the Planet... a Cetra he did not recognize, a Shinra soldier, Zack, Ira, Ifalna. All save the one Cetra looked at least familiar. Faces glimpsed before his Masamune cut them down, perhaps. 

The Planet looked as though it wanted to say something more to start out, but Zack spoke before it got the chance. 

"Hey, Seph," he said with a rueful grin. "Looks like some predicament you've got yourself into. How are you gonna get outta this one?" 

"With Aeris's help," he replied. It was the truest answer he could give. 

"Yeah, she was always good at helping people--but she's not here right now." 

The swordsman could only shrug. 

"Anyway," Zack went on, straightening. "I guess I was the only one who saw you snap, huh? That seems like as good a place to start as any," he decided, and several of those present nodded agreement. "When I try to think about it, I really don't get how all these people cam blame you for it. I mean, damn, reading an entire library full of reports about some screwed experiment that created _you_, all in the space of a few days? Who _wouldn't_ go nuts? I don't know much about your other problems, but that in itself is almost enough for me." 

"Almost?" the Wutain man queried. 

He nodded. "Yeah, almost. I can accept it 'cause I knew him beforehand." He looked back at Sephiroth. "You were quiet and mysterious for sure, but anyone who paid attention saw you had feelings just like anyone else. You just made it near impossible for us to tell why or exactly how you were feeling. You weren't cold either, like everybody always says. You _cared_ about shit. Tried to be all steely and tough, but you can only hide so much." 

The swordsman was surprised that Zack had noticed so much. The boy had never struck him as particularly observant. Rather, he had always seemed somewhat dense; but he had had a knack for cheering people up, and maybe to do that one had to have an understanding of the other person's emotions. 

"Shinra's most efficient, ruthless, and deadly general _cared_ about things?" the Wutain scoffed. "You would not say such things if you had seen him in the war. He even killed civilians!" 

Sephiroth forced himself to speak up. "Most of your 'civilians' were armed almost as well as any soldier. Was I supposed to stand there as they butchered me? Ask them politely to move aside?" 

"You should have at least given them a warning first!" 

"They knew who I was; that should have been warning enough." 

"Damned arrogant--" 

"Quiet," Ifalna interrupted. "I think you'll all agree that name-calling is pointless. He's heard it all before." She waited for the grudging nods and murmurs of assent from the seated group before turning to Zack. "Were you finished?" 

He shook his head. "'course not. Seph may've been ruthless to the Wutains, but I've gotta say that he looked after his own men. When I was first placed under his command, he did a hellova good job at protecting me. Wasn't his job to look after me, but he did it anyway. He did a lot of little things like that. I'm not sure he even told me to shut up unless it was for my own good, which is like, amazing." 

Someone in the crowd started to laugh, but quickly fell silent when no one else joined in. 

"But surely you have seen how deadly he was in battle," said the Wutain woman, whose face reminded him of Yuffie's, only she spoke with more grace and maturity. "He showed mercy to no one, and I heard nothing about prisoners. Any wounded unlucky enough to be discovered by him or his troops were probably killed." 

Sephiroth hesitated to counter that, but Aeris had told him to defend himself. "I had orders from Shinra not to take prisoners." 

"You could have disobeyed them." 

"I could have," he conceded, bowing his head, "but I chose not to." 

"Disobeying Shinra's orders brought on pretty harsh punishments," pointed out the soldier whose name he could not recall. 

"Oh, please," the Wutain man scoffed. "He was their hero. They wouldn't punish him. Isn't that so, Sephiroth?" 

The swordsman could only nod. 

"It was war anyway," the soldier persisted. "Were your soldiers any more merciful to ours? I know there were a few prisoners, but not that many." 

The man frowned, and the woman lowered her gaze. 

Narsa spoke up. "Some of the wounded soldiers they found were likely in terrible shape. You expected them to waste their healers' energy and supplies on enemies when they had enough of their own injured to care for?" 

"Was it really any different on Shinra's side?" the nameless Cetra countered. 

"The Shinra had far more materia at their disposal," the Wutain woman answered. "Any one of them could act as a healer. We relied far more heavily on the older arts of healing." 

This assertion remained undisputed, and into the silence the Planet spoke. 

"So we have established, confirmed that Sephiroth was needlessly hash, efficient during Shinra's war with Wutai," it said, giving this as a sign that it wanted to move on. Sephiroth noted now its use of multiple words to convey a single meaning, as though the word it wanted did not exist and it could not decide between those that did. Apparently language was less precise than what it was used to. 

Having said her piece, the Wutain woman got to her feet and rejoined the crowd. A man in civilian dress took her place, eyes even more accusing. Sephiroth struggled to place him, and recalled only his corpse, lying in the Mako reactor with blood everywhere and the Masamune abandoned beside him. "What about Nibelheim?" Tifa's father demanded. 

"By that point, sanity had left me," Sephiroth said, meeting the man's gaze levelly. "As foolish as it sounds, I truly believed that I was justified in killing all of you." 

"Then explain it to me: how could you possibly reach that conclusion?" 

"What, you can't see how someone could go mad from finding out they were created by some crazy experiment?" Zack asked. 

Tifa's father cast him a sharp look. "As you said, you were the only one who saw him snap, so while that may explain it for you, the rest of us can't quite fathom it." 

"Then perhaps we should hear Sephiroth's account of it," Saerni suggested. 

The swordsman frowned, and when the crowd looked to him expectantly, he began hesitantly, "I... had always known that I was different from everyone else. It was such an obvious thing. Doubtless most of you believe I thought myself to be superior, but more often than not, I thought the opposite. Even though I could not remember my childhood, the feelings of inferiority that had been ingrained in me persisted. 

"It was frightening to see the monsters being created in the Nibelheim reactor and the name of the only mother I knew inscribed on the door. It was frightening to think that I was something so much less than human. So I wanted to know the truth. I wanted to know what I was. The library in the Shinra mansion had answers for me." Sephiroth let his regret show in his voice. _They need to know you have emotions._ "I wish I had known then, as I do now, that they were merely half-truths fabricated as part of another experiment. 

"But I did not. And I believed it when I read that I had been created from the cells of a Cetra, an Ancient. Reading through all of that, it was the only thing that I could cling to to keep from seeing myself as a lab rat. I told myself that being a Cetra made me superior to these humans, superior to these people who had lied to me and used me. It did not matter then that the only ones I could have blamed were Shinra's scientists and its president, who allowed them to do this." 

He lowered his gaze and shook his head. "To me, it was the perfect excuse to eliminate all those people who had always looked on me with hollow admiration, jealousy, and disdain--all the people who had never wanted to know me. The few who saw me as human got mixed up with the rest of them in that haze of glorious madness." He turned his pale blue gaze on Zack. "I am sorry, Zack." 

Zack shrugged it off. "I would've lived if it hadn't been for Hojo." 

Sephiroth blinked. "You mean I did not kill you?" 

"You hurt me pretty bad, but I lived." 

"Then you were...?" 

He nodded. "Hojo collected those of us who survived and used us in an experiment. Injected us with Jenova cells--so I know a bit what it's like to be a lab rat. But me an' Cloud escaped. Almost made it to Midgar, too, but some soldiers caught us up, put about a million bullets in me, and left Cloud for dead 'cause the Jenova cells got him so damn screwed up. Guess he recovered, huh?" 

Sephiroth nodded slightly. "Still, Zack, if I had not--" 

"Hey, don't sweat it," his old friend replied casually. "I blame Shinra, not you." 

"Thank you." 

Tifa's father spoke slowly. "I suppose I should consider myself lucky for dying in Nibelheim, if the survivors went through so much. Tifa was the only one who escaped Hojo, and even she was badly off, having to go on when she'd lost everything. I still can't understand how you could have done that." 

"I did not know what happened to the survivors," Sephiroth told him. "I did not plan on there being survivors, and the dead were only returning to the Planet--'what was so terrible about that?' I thought." He glanced at the Planet, and it smiled encouragingly. 

"But that's no excuse for what you did." 

"How isn't it?" Ifalna asked. "If you yourself were not human, but instead lived as such an outcast among them, and found out that they deserved whatever death you wanted to give them, wouldn't you accept it as your duty?" 

"I could never kill anyone," Tifa's father protested. 

"But Sephiroth was a soldier. Killing was hardly new to him, only the killing of defenseless people whom he nevertheless saw as traitors." 

"But we were people you killed!" the man cried, directing his anger back at Sephiroth. "Not a lot of criminals. How could you not see that? How could you ignore it?" 

The swordsman shook his head. "I admit, I had my doubts in the beginning. I debated with myself, and eventually the anger and the hurt drowned out what doubt there was. Humans were evil for what they had done to me and my people, and that was all there was to it." 

There was a short silence. "Besides, Mr. Lockheart," the nameless Cetra said softly, "Tifa and Cloud are happily married now, aren't they?" 

"You think they've forgotten?" he demanded. "Terrible wrongs were done to them, and to us, and--" 

"And they were paid for then, when Cloud killed him." 

"One death doesn't make up for hundreds," the Wutain man put in. 

"You would have me die a hundred times to atone?" Sephiroth asked. "Fine. So long as I do not remain dead long enough to cause Aeris any grief, fine." 

"But then you would be given a hundred lives as well," Narsa said. 

"I see it as one life interrupted a hundred times by death." 

"Then you would be given one more life in addition to those you've already had, whereas these people"--Narsa waved a hand towards the crowd--"have had no such second life." 

"Most of them had decent ones, though, didn't they? I cannot say that I have, except for this last life which scarcely lasted a month, if that." 

"And what was so terrible about your life?" the Wutain asked. "You were Shinra's greatest general, and you had all the luxuries that went along with that position." 

"All the luxuries in the world count for nothing if you are alone," Sephiroth stated. "Besides, I spent most of my life in a laboratory." 

"How long?" Saerni asked. 

"Eighteen years." 

"Holy," Zack breathed. "And I thought what I went through was hell; I was only in a lab for a year at the most. Eighteen times that... and as a kid... Gods..." 

Silence fell. No one dared challenge that this had been terrible, nor did anyone challenge its truth. Somehow they knew that the man before them spoke with honesty, despite being a murderer. 

"All right," Narsa said finally. "So you have already suffered, and maybe that makes up for something." 

Ifalna cast him a sharp look. "It doesn't 'make up' for _anything_. This is a terrible wrong done to _him_, and someone else's sin committed against a sinner does not weigh into the balance. It was punishment for _nothing_, not for sins he had not yet committed. Hearing of his suffering can only help us understand what Sephiroth went through that led him to kill so many, and maybe it will help stubborn people like you to forgive him." 

The other Cetra nodded in grudging agreement. "So it's a reason, not punishment." 

"But what was it really like?" Mr. Lockheart asked. 

"If you want accounts, stories aside from Sephiroth's," the Planet said softly, "perhaps we should ask those two who can offer, recount them to do so." 

Talya showed herself immediately, though she did not meet Sephiroth's gaze, much to his disappointment. Did she think he hated her? The nameless soldier got up, offering her his seat, and she sat down beside Zack with the barest of nods. 

Professor Hojo was longer in coming, and the Wutain man much less eager to relinquish his chair. Tifa's father scooted away when Hojo sat down, and Narsa looked as though he wanted to. The scientist looked up at his son with ferocity, but Sephiroth met that gaze coldly, keeping the hatred and disgust that remained tucked far away. 

"Well, Professor?" Ifalna asked, no little revulsion in her voice. "What have you to say?" 

He muttered something under his breath before snorting. "I intend neither to defend him nor accuse him. I will give you only facts, and you may make of them as you will." 

"All right," Saerni said. "Go ahead." 

"Well." Hojo pushed at his glasses and fixed his gaze on some point slightly beyond Sephiroth. "I believe most, if not all, of you know he was created with the intention of producing a Cetra, so there is no need to get into that. We kept him in the laboratory as an infant, Professor Gast and I, and we conducted many tests during that stage, but nothing serious. By the time Sephiroth was two, Gast had grown disgusted with the Project, and he left. Which meant I got to do things my way. 

"I had a Turk brought in to keep him in line and did whatever experiments necessary to get the information I wanted. I kept him confined to his room except for when I called for him, though when he was older Talya allowed him into the rest of the mansion under her supervision." 

"What kinds of experiments did you do?" Saerni asked before he could go on. 

The scientist waved a hand. "You wouldn't understand. But I expect it was rather painful, if that's what you want to know. He never complained though. I trained him to ignore the pain from very early on, which made the tests easier to perform, but the discipline harder to administer. I think the principle of the beatings meant more to him than the actual pain." 

"You beat him?" Ifalna asked, startled. 

"I had Talya do it most of the time, but yes, I did beat him. Why do you think he is so leery of being touched?" 

"I thought... the experiments themselves..." She trailed off and glanced at Talya. "Weren't you his friend, though?" 

She flinched. "I wish I could say that. But... If I'd disobeyed my orders that often, then I would've been out of a job. Hojo would've just replaced me with someone who didn't care, and then..." 

Ifalna shook her head slowly. "So it became ingrained in him that both friend and foe would be cruel to him. It's worse than I had thought. The Professor never went that far with me." 

"You did not need the discipline," Hojo told her matter-of-factly. "Sephiroth, on the other hand, he loved to be a nuisance to me. Even went outside once." 

"How did you keep him under control once he realized he had the power to kill you if he wished?" Saerni wondered. 

The Professor shrugged. "Obedience, however spiteful, was ingrained in him since infancy, so for a long time he didn't dare flinch from my experiments or run away. There was only one instance where he really challenged me." 

"What was this one instance?" 

"There were a couple, actually," Talya cut in, "but the real biggie was when Ifalna and Aeris escaped." 

Ifalna took over, meeting Sephiroth's gaze. "He startled us--just came into our room one day, saying that he would help us escape. I didn't want to trust him at first; what Cetra would have? But Aeris seemed perfectly at ease with him. She was seven, old enough to recognize what he was, young enough to doubt it anyway. She sat down with him and they talked for a bit. He was so boyishly awkward, so anxious, that it convinced me. So I told him to come back that night, and he used his magic to send us nearly to Midgar." 

"Why didn't he go with you?" Zack asked in surprise. 

She shook her head and looked to Sephiroth. 

The swordsman faltered and avoided the Professor's gaze as he spoke. "I... thought that I could protect you in a way, if I stayed behind. If Hojo lost all three of his prized specimens, he would have been even more intent on getting them back, but if he at least had me... then maybe that would mollify him. Maybe he wouldn't send soldiers--or worse, Turks--searching for you." 

Hojo scoffed. "So that's what you were up to. Odd that it actually worked. It wasn't until you left that I asked President Shinra to send someone looking for them." 

Sephiroth nodded slightly and could say nothing. 

"I remember," Talya began quietly, "he was so happy the next day, glad that they were free. Not jealous in the slightest, but proud that he had helped them. He seemed to relish in the thought that he had done something so wonderful for them, and so terrible for Hojo. He couldn't even keep it from me. The Professor... had me beat him pretty bad for that, but I don't think he cared." She finally looked up to meet his gaze. "I am so sorry..." 

He shook his head. "I understand, and I've forgiven you. It is _him_"--he looked pointedly at Hojo--"whom I will understand, but never forgive." 

"And I would never expect it of you," the Professor stated with distaste. "All this emotional nonsense. Honestly, you morons can't simply determine this logically?" 

"But, Hojo," Sephiroth said, "a man who atoned for his deeds merely because of logic would have accomplished nothing; he would still be the same man. It is the regret, the guilt, and the eagerness to make up for one's deeds that make the difference. And that is part of what they are searching for now." 

"Well, aren't you the bright one?" 

He refrained from making an arrogant retort and said simply, "That is what you made me, isn't it?" 

Hojo frowned and did not reply. 

"It didn't end with their escape," the nameless Cetra said into the silence. "What happened then?" 

"We moved him to the Shinra building after that," the Professor said, his tone flat. "The security was better there, and I took measures to rid him of his memory so that he wouldn't be able to think so clearly, and so he might forget his spells. Unfortunately, he escaped before the drugs took their full toll on him." 

"But you went straight to SOLDIER anyway?" Tifa's father asked of Sephiroth. 

"I had it programmed into him," Hojo explained, "so that if he ever escaped, he would come back to Shinra, and, consequently, to me. But..." 

Sephiroth took up the sentence with a scoff. "But he did not manage to erase my hatred of him, and I was outside of his authority, so I no longer had to obey his summons, nor did I let Shinra's medical staff touch me if I could help it." 

"It's no wonder we all thought you were invincible," the Shinra guard commented. "If you had injuries, you never reported them..." 

"Do you see now, Mr. Lockheart?" Ifalna asked. "How someone with that kind of background, whose only memories were 'programmed' into him, might snap upon finding what Sephiroth did at Nibelheim? How, with as much pain as he had, one could let it loose upon finding some kind of sanction, finally seize the chance to cry out?" 

Tifa's father nodded faintly. "I think so, yes." He stood, offering a respectful nod to the Planet before he returned to the crowd. 

After a short silence, Narsa turned to the Shinra guard and the gatekeeper. "Well, what have you two to say? You've barely said a word yet." 

"I just wanted to... I..." Ira faltered. 

The Planet took over. "Ira wanted to see, to observe Sephiroth from this close, so that he could catch, notice _everything_ and be able to pass better, more accurate judgment." 

The gatekeeper nodded gratefully. 

The Shinra guard hesitated. "I wanted something like that. Wanted to know why I died. I'll speak when my turn comes. But, if anyone wants my seat, feel free..." 

As Tifa's father had left an empty seat, no one asked for his. Instead, President Shinra moved to take the seat beside him, cool and condescending as ever. "What do you have to say for your actions five years later? Your needless slaughter of the people in my building?" 

"Jenova wanted her body," Sephiroth answered levelly, "and, as it happened to reside in the Shinra building, I went to retrieve it. I killed those in my way because I still believed what I had in Nibelheim. I killed you, President, because I know you were the one who agreed to fund the Jenova Project, and you were the one who decided to use my skills without telling me what I was." 

"I had surmised as much," Shinra replied. "But why didn't you kill Hojo?" 

"I would have, had I been able to find him." 

Hojo snorted. "Not thinking so clearly, were you?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "It is difficult for me to even remember things when I first regenerate. As it was, Jenova reminded me of my... 'mission.' Otherwise..." 

"So you're saying that if Jenova hadn't stirred your memory, you might have had the time to look at things sanely again?" the nameless Cetra queried. 

"I might have. I am far from certain." 

"Just how much influence did she have on your actions five years ago?" Saerni wondered. 

The swordsman faltered, frowning. "It is... hard to say how much was my own desire, and how much was her manipulation of me." 

"It's almost too bad she isn't here to offer her account," Narsa commented with a scoff. 

"Why wouldn't I be here?" a voice queried archly from somewhere in the crowd. He did not recognize it, nor did he recognize the dark-haired woman who stepped into the circle. He did recognize her pink eyes and hint of a smile. 

"Planet?" Ifalna asked uncertainly. 

"She is almost-child now," the Planet explained. "She wanted, desired to speak, to apologize to Sephiroth. I gave her a voice, words so that she could defend him." 

Zack got up hesitantly and stepped back to rejoin the crowd, mouthing 'good luck' to Sephiroth. 

Jenova took his place with characteristic boldness, and Talya and Ira cast her uneasy glances. All four of the Cetra present shifted uneasily, but the Planet remained as placid as it had been. Whatever quarrel it had with Jenova, it had already resolved. 

"Well then," Saerni began, trying unsuccessfully to compose herself. "Je... Jenova, how much influence did you have on Sephiroth?" 

Her half-smile left her as she answered. "Not as much as I had wanted, but more than he would probably admit. He usually did whatever I asked him, but he would do it in his own way, which generally took longer than I wanted. Other times, he disobeyed me entirely. It wasn't my idea to use Cloud as a puppet, or to let that... let Aeris live for so long. I knew she would be trouble from the moment he saw her, but he would not listen to me. She was a Cetra, he insisted, not some lowly human, and it wasn't until she clearly set herself in our path that I convinced him." 

"Why did you decide to use Cloud anyway?" Ifalna asked of Sephiroth. "And why spare the rest of his friends, if most of them were human?" 

"At first it was mere curiosity; I wanted to see what I could do with him, and he needed his comrades to aid him. Eventually, though, he did become useful." 

"Useful?" 

"He... gave me the Black Materia at the Temple of the Ancients, and brought it to me again at the Northern Crater." 

"You manipulated him to do so, you mean," Narsa amended. "And you knew it was wrong." 

Sephiroth nodded. "Yes, I knew. But I convinced myself that he was incapable of having emotions, that it did not matter. I rationalized a lot of things to myself..." 

"Then you knew you were wrong. Why didn't you stop killing?" 

He shifted, dropping his gaze before all these accusing eyes. "I... did not want to admit that I was wrong, so I tried to tell myself I wasn't. Jenova... helped..." 

"Harsh on yourself as always," Jenova said. "I did more than just 'help.' I had to construct so many lies and illusions for the boy to be satisfied that he was on the right track, and _still_ he doubted. Especially when I told him he had to kill Aeris." 

"...what did he say?" Ifalna asked quietly, distantly. 

"A lot of things," she answered. "He maintained that the Cetra had done nothing to wrong him, and that she was harmless anyway. For a time he entertained a delusion of getting her to join us. Eventually he conceded that she did pose a threat, and that killing her was necessary. Still, when the time came, he delayed, and delayed, and delayed. He didn't actually kill her until _after_ she'd finished her prayer and summoned Holy. Some good that did us." 

Saerni blinked slowly. "So then, he killed her without reason?" 

Sephiroth closed his eyes, hating to remember this but knowing he must. "When I began my fall, she had not yet completed the summon, but she had before I reached her. I... could have averted my blade, I could have ceased my fall, I could have... could have brought her back afterwards... But I did not. I know I have no excuses." 

"And yet Aeris forgave you for it," the Cetra pointed out, "even came to love you. Why?" 

He forced himself to meet her gaze. "I have asked her that same question many times. Why did she care? Why didn't she condemn me like so many others? And she told me that all that I had done was in another life, done by a different man than the one who stood before her, told me that I understood her, and that was all that mattered to her." 

She nodded as if his words had confirmed some idea of hers and returned to the matter at hand. "Then, Jenova, what happened after that?" 

"He really began to lose his will after Aeris's death. By the end, he just wanted to let the puppet--let Cloud kill him and have the whole thing done with, but I was able to manipulate him when his mind was weak, a bit like he manipulated Cloud, and I made him fight back. And after he was beaten, but not dead, he called the puppet _back_ so he could kill him for good. Essentially, it was suicide." 

"He let himself be killed?" Narsa asked incredulously. "Is this true?" 

Sephiroth nodded. "It is true." 

"What does all this prove anyway?" President Shinra demanded. "So he was insane, yes; we all knew that. He killed a lot of people for no reason; we knew that, too. But he knew for a long time that it was wrong, and he didn't stop himself until it was almost too late? Insanity is excusable, perhaps, but willing self-deception for the sake of rationalization is not." 

The swordsman restrained himself from accusing Shinra in turn; the man had already received his punishment. "I know," Sephiroth said quietly. "I do not expect forgiveness from any of you. I do not expect it of myself. But..." 

"Aeris needs it," the Planet finished, a note of sadness in its voice. "If it is all right, acceptable to all of you, I should like to bring in, to pull closer those few of the living who desired to speak." 

Sephiroth brightened somewhat. Would Aeris be allowed to have a word? Perhaps, could she simply be here to watch? He would give anything to have her support. These stares hurt, having to recount his basest acts hurt, not having her at his side hurt... 

Yuffie was the first to appear, looking around her in wide-eyed amazement at the crowd. For the barest of instants, she seemed to be searching for someone in particular, and he recalled the Wutain woman who had looked like her, but then she turned to join those seated, hesitating when she found no empty seat. Talya stood slowly, offering her seat with a questioning expression. The ninja grinned and took it with a murmured thanks. 

Cloud and Tifa were next, blinking as their minds adjusted to the new surroundings. President Shinra and the guard started to get up, but Cloud shook his head and looked uncertainly to the other side of the group. Ifalna stood first, followed by Jenova, letting the two other newcomers sit down with Ira between them. Sephiroth found it somewhat ironic that Cloud should be the one to take the seat occupied by his designated defender. 

"Each of you has a story, realizations to tell us," the Planet said to them. "Go about it however you please." 

The three exchanged glances, and Yuffie, the most confident and least disoriented of them, spoke first. 

"You're probably wondering what Wutai's current leader is doing over here, aren't you?" she asked the crowd. "I'm defending my friend, okay? Sure, he led Shinra's soldiers against us, but he didn't start the war. Sure, he's done awful things, but I don't think much of it was his fault. How many of us can really say we'd hold up any better if we went through the same things he did?" 

"Sephiroth was conditioned to be logical and to set his emotions aside," Hojo said. "He should have been less susceptible to insanity." 

"Conditioned, my ass," Yuffie snorted. "It's a wonder you didn't break the guy. When you repress a person's emotions, they just build up and build up until eventually they burst. Whatever you did only made it worse for him." She cast the swordsman a smile. "But lately, he's been really nice, even compassionate, especially when he's around Aeris. That's why I knew he had to have a reason for it when he killed Ira. He couldn't have snapped when he was being that open." 

"That's what I'd thought," Ira said slowly. "I had even started to feel guilty that I had tried to keep him out of our village in the first place. So many good things happened because he came. Granted, there was considerable anxiety, but for most of us, it was very distant; we scarcely knew the people in danger. But to be present at a Relighting Ceremony...!" He trailed off, smiling distantly. 

"I take it you've decided to forgive him," the Planet concluded with a smile. 

Ira nodded. "I just want him to explain why he killed me. I'm certain now that he had a reason." 

Sephiroth looked down, feeling as though he was about to disappoint the man. "I had to get to Jenova somehow. She could easily run if I tried to track her down intent on killing her. So I decided I would deceive her into thinking that I would side with her, in order to keep Aeris safe from her wrath. She had me prove my intentions by beheading you... It got me to her, but she told me that she had _wanted_ to face me alone. I..." He shook his head. "I'm afraid your death was not so meaningful as you would wish. I am sorry." 

The gatekeeper shook his head. "No, it meant something. She obviously wasn't about to let you come to her without a gesture like that. So, in exchange for my life alone, the life of the Planet itself was saved. I think that's worth something." 

The swordsman inclined his head in reluctant but grateful agreement. 

Ira got up and offered his seat to Ifalna, who took it with a smile. 

"Anyway," Yuffie continued, "I don't think we should even be judging him for what he did in his other lives. He suffered in them, and he died. Isn't that punishment enough? This past life, he did so much good and helped so many people." 

"He even managed to heal some of the wounds we had," Cloud said quietly. "He took the blame for things I'd been ashamed of myself for, like giving him the Black Materia and hurting Aeris." 

"It makes you feel better if he takes the blame for your actions?" Saerni asked. 

The blond ran a hand through his hair. "Well, yeah. It means that it wasn't entirely my fault. It also helped me believe that he really _had_ changed, and that in itself was good to know. Almost like, if Sephiroth was acting, er, human, then some of the evil in the world was gone." 

Narsa snorted, and Ifalna cast him a sharp look. 

"And then," Tifa added hesitantly, "I don't think I've ever seen Aeris as happy as she was that night when they were dancing together. And after he died..." She faltered, glancing at Sephiroth. "She was so... distant. You could tell she was grieving inside, but on the outside, she built up such a strong face. And now, she's gone to the City of the Ancients? It's not right somehow, for her to seek solitude." She paused again and then echoed Cloud with a rueful smile, "Almost like, if Aeris wants to be alone, then some good in the world has died." 

"You keep bringing up this idea that Aeris loves him, and that for her sake we should let him live," Narsa said, "but so far I have seen no evidence of his love for her." 

"Are you blind?" Ifalna demanded. "Can't you see that the only reason he's even _trying_ to defend himself is because he can't bear to leave her alone?" 

"It's an easy task for him to make us _think_ that, so he can be granted another life. He is, after all, a master of deception." 

"But you can't fake that sort of thing," Tifa protested. "It's real." 

"He nearly fooled Jenova into thinking he would side with her again, even after defying her for so long. He even went to such an extreme as to kill someone for the sake of that illusion. Who's to say he couldn't maintain something far less costly?" 

"He deceived Jenova for the good of the Planet, not himself," Ifalna argued. 

"Even though he _wanted_ to kill her?" Narsa said skeptically. "He would have done it anyway." 

"There was no other choice left open to him. He had to kill her quickly before she gave up on him and started killing on her own." 

"His love could easily be a lie. Look: why does he not speak now? He cannot prove that he cares for Aeris." 

Sephiroth shifted uncomfortably, dropping his gaze to the ground. He was not like Aeris; he did not know what to say. And, with no little horror, he considered that Narsa had a point. He remembered the many times that he had deceived himself, and he began to wonder. 

"Can't you see it hurts him?" Ifalna demanded, and he was grateful that she could voice it for him. "This whole argument, this whole trial, because he still remembers all the things he's done that you're using against him. He likely even thinks you should!" 

"I don't see any pain in those eyes," the Shinra guard said slowly. "They're colder than steel." 

"It's a defense," Yuffie told him. "You should have seen him when he said goodbye to Aeris. He looked like he'd been crying, but his eyes were steel." 

"He's a great actor, wonderful at creating illusions," Narsa insisted. "How can we be certain of anything he does?" 

"But what reason does he have to lie?" the ninja asked. "There's no point to it." 

"There's a reason for it now; he wants another life. As for before, you'd have to ask him. I'm no genius." 

"He couldn't tell you, because it's not true!" 

"Then why doesn't he speak up and tell us it's not true? Why doesn't he defend himself if this is so ridiculous?" Narsa turned to Sephiroth. "Well? What have you got to say for yourself? It's true, isn't it? You're just a selfish bastard after all, and a damned smart one at that?" 

"Narsa!" Ifalna exclaimed sharply. 

Sephiroth stared at him fixedly. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said helplessly. "I love her." Inside he was in turmoil. What if Narsa was right? What if he had created an illusion so complex that he had deceived even himself? Jenova had often spoken of such deceit. Did it become truth, if he truly believed it? Or was it just an empty lie, if he didn't know? No matter what, this doubt was cruel to Aeris. 

"Then why don't you sound sure of yourself?" 

He shut his eyes. "Please, stop." 

"The vulnerable act isn't going to convince me. Go ahead. Offer me some proof that you actually care, and maybe I'll forgive you." A pause. "You can't, can you? I didn't think so." 

His voice caught in his throat. Why couldn't he? Why couldn't he? Too many accusing eyes bore into him. Too many people were satisfied that he could not answer. His own mind berated him with questions and accusations, the harshest ones he had ever considered coming back with a vengeance. 

Unable to stand up to so many condemnations when what little belief in himself he had was crumbling, Sephiroth buried his head in his hands and struggled to hold back tears.

* * *

_He needs you_, the Planet said suddenly. 

Aeris's eyes widened at the urgency its tone carried, and she immediately forgot the presence of her friends. "But... but what can I do if he can't see or hear me?" 

_Forgive me..._ it murmured. 

"Wha--?" 

Consciousness was ripped from her abruptly, and her body collapsed to the floor. 

Pulled, whirling, clasped tightly by giants' hands with a grip intended to protect, but it hurt. Gods, it hurt. She wanted to cry out, but had no voice, wanted to struggle, but had no body. For an instant, she thought the experience so very familiar, but recognition, too, was torn from her as soon as she grasped it. 

Then, even in this dim state of awareness, everything faded, and then there was nothing.

* * *

Author's Notes  
Sometimes it's really a struggle to come up with a title for a chapter, other times the perfect one comes even before you've started it. This is one of the latter cases. Back in elementary school, I did a research project involving the Egyptian afterlife. Obviously it's been a long time, so I don't remember the details, but I recall that after a person had died, their heart was placed on a scale opposite a feather, and if it weighed the same or was lighter, they could enter the afterlife. If it was heavier, their heart would be devoured by this foul beast. I always thought it was a neat concept, and I think it fits here. 

I ended up splitting this chapter in twain (fun word!), because it was pretty long to begin with. Pluse there wasn't much I could cut (Cloud's mother originally made a brief appearance here, but I decided that wasn't important), while there were a number of things I wanted to add. Heh. I think it works out better anyway. You get a little bit of a cliffhanger this way. XP 


	40. Ice

**Chapter 39: Ice**

_Why can't you say it? Why can't you give him that proof? You care about her, don't you? Or are you too much of a monster to be capable of such a thing? Do you really care about anyone but yourself? Has anything you've ever done been for anyone but yourself? _

Please, stop. I love her. Haven't I given myself for her time and time again? Didn't I go back to Hojo for her sake? Didn't I die because I tried too hard to defend her from Jenova's attacks? 

But always, the same question stopped him from voicing any of this proof: 

_Then why did you kill her?_

A gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. "It's all right, love." 

Sephiroth looked up in surprise. "A-aeris?" he exclaimed hoarsely. 

He had been aware, dimly, of the turmoil that his breakdown had created, of the crowd's laughter, of Ifalna and Yuffie and Zack's futile efforts to quiet them. Now their silence registered just as faintly. 

Aeris smiled softly. Unshed tears glistened in her green eyes, and her hair hung in disarray, strands twisting and falling haphazardly about her face. She wore the pale pink dress that he had not seen her in since he had called her back, and in it she looked so innocent, so vulnerable. 

Sephiroth stood slowly and reached out, disbelieving, to take her into his arms. Finding her slender form soft and warm and _real_, he held her tighter. Her arms wound about his waist, and she buried her face in his chest. His doubt vanished into nothing, and he found himself murmuring over and over again, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." 

Aeris pulled back, found his gaze, and then pulled his head down until her lips could touch his. The moment stretched. 

"If that isn't love, Narsa," he heard Yuffie say, "I don't know what is." 

Reminded of their audience, Sephiroth pulled back hastily, and Aeris laughed softly at his embarrassment. 

"Planet," Narsa asked, "did you...?" 

The Planet smiled. "Of course I brought her, dragged her here. Sephiroth needed her. I think, as she would say, that his heart is not fully healed, mended yet. He is quick, eager to doubt, to blame himself." 

Aeris turned to survey the crowd before them, taking Sephiroth's hand. She did not seem to recognize most of those present, but one caught her gaze. "...Zack?" 

Zack stepped forward hesitantly. "Hey, um... Planet, do you mind if...?" 

It shook its head. "Go on. You will not have another chance, opportunity to say goodbye." 

Nodding gratefully, Zack moved on past those seated, and Aeris let go Sephiroth's hand, stepping forward to meet him. "Hey, 'ris," Zack said awkwardly. "Long time no see, huh?" 

She managed a nod and a smile. "Yeah." 

"I'm sorry. You must've thought I dumped you or something." 

"Maybe, but it wasn't your fault; you went to Nibelheim, didn't you?" 

"Yeah, but it wasn't Seph who killed me, just so you're clear on that. You remember those 'Sephiroth clones,' right? Me an' Cloud, we were supposed to be part of that, but Hojo never got around to numbering us, 'cause we escaped. Only Shinra found us..." 

"And that's how you died?" 

Zack nodded. "Yeah." 

Aeris could not seem to say anything. 

"I'm really sorry. I was... I was serious with you, Aeris." 

She smiled and reached up to kiss him on the cheek. "I know. It meant a lot to me then, and it still does. I won't forget you; I can at least promise you that." 

Zack grinned appreciatively and looked past her to Sephiroth. "Don't worry, Seph. I'm not stealing your girl here; being a dead man, I can't really compete." 

"We are both dead at the moment, Zack," the swordsman reminded him. 

"Maybe, but you won't be dead for much longer. Me, I'll be going back to the Lifestream after this, and that'll be that. So you take care of her, all right?" 

Sephiroth nodded slowly. "I will." 

With a nod and a grin, Zack turned to take his place with the crowd. By now, others of the host of the dead, following his example, had stepped out to speak with those few of the living here. Yuffie had that Wutain who must have been her mother in a tight embrace, Tifa stood taking a final few words of advice from her father, and Cloud stood silently by himself. He turned and caught Zack's attention as the boy passed by. 

"Hey, Zack--" he began awkwardly. "I, uh... Well, thanks." 

"Don't mention it," Zack told him. "We're friends, right? Anyway, I heard you went off and saved the world so I figure I did something good by saving your skin." 

Cloud grinned sheepishly and scratched his head. 

"Looks like you never got much taller," Zack remarked, shaking his head. "The Jenova must've stunted your growth or something. Kinda sucks, but..."--he looked past Cloud to Tifa, who did not notice his scrutiny--"it looks like you've got what you always wanted, so I guess it didn't turn out too badly." 

"I guess not," the blond agreed hesitantly. 

Zack only nodded, glanced back at Aeris over his shoulder, and disappeared into the crowd. The others who had come out went with him, and everyone took their seats once again, Aeris persuading Sephiroth in a whisper to let her sit in his lap. 

"So," she faltered, "how has the trial gone so far?" 

"It's hard to say," Ifalna told her, glancing at Narsa with a frown. 

"What happened before I arrived?" Aeris asked, seeming to catch the look. 

"Narsa over here decided to contest whether or not Sephiroth loved you," Yuffie said, rolling her eyes. "This had better be good enough proof for him." 

"It will do," Narsa conceded. 

"Where did you get the thought that he didn't?" Aeris wondered, twisting to glance up at Sephiroth. "Isn't it obvious?" 

A smile tugged at his lips, held in check only by the knowledge that this moment was temporary, that his death had separated them, that after this trial, she would not be by his side. He put his arms around her and pulled her closer, not wanting to let her go. 

"Hmm," Hojo remarked thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should have waited and taken your child for study instead." 

"Child?" Sephiroth repeated, blinking in startlement. 

Yuffie laughed at his expression. "Planet, you've _got_ to let him live again; he'll be so fun to torture." 

"I thought so, too," it said in reply, hopefully to her general sentiment rather than her actual words. "But, I will respect the wishes, decisions of those present." A frown came to its face. "The three of you must go, return now," it said regretfully. 

"Good luck then, Seph," the ninja said. "Oh, and you're welcome for the materia. Any time." 

He bowed his head gratefully. 

"Sephiroth, I hope you live," Tifa said simply, offering him a smile. 

Cloud did not smile. "You know," he said finally, "maybe I could learn to like you, Sephiroth. You're all right." 

"Thank you. All of you." 

The Planet sighed, and the three faded away. The three from Shinra on its right vacated their seats to rejoin the crowd. When no one else came forward, the four Cetra moved to sit closer to the Planet. 

"Then, Planet, what about... what he is?" Narsa asked. "Do we really want someone with that kind of power to live?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "I will not use it. Never." 

"Even if you don't, what about your descendants?" Saerni asked. 

Ifalna shook her head. "Already there is Minerva. What would you do about her? Perhaps she's not as powerful as Sephiroth, but she is stronger than Aeris." 

"Perhaps if we--" Narsa began. 

"Set restrictions on her?" Sephiroth interrupted. "What has she done to earn punishment?" 

"And don't you trust us to raise our children properly?" Aeris asked. "With each generation, their abilities will weaken, so you'll have little to worry about once it's out of our hands." 

Narsa frowned. "I still don't think we should allow the line of Jenova to continue." 

"Then you would wish for the extinction of two races?" the nameless Cetra asked. "If we concede to your wishes, Aeris will be the last of the Cetra, and Minerva the last of Jenova's race. All that would remain are humans. There would be no one to heed the Planet's voice. We ourselves would be reduced to mere observers. Is that what you want?" 

"Ishiri, those of Jenova's line, whether or not by their own fault, have proven too powerful for their own good and the good of the Planet. Minerva is not quite as strong as Sephiroth; it is excusable if she is left unrestrained. But Sephiroth... He is the man who nearly became a god! Even with Aeris to guide them, I would not trust any descendants of his to refrain from using that power." 

"Even if it means the extinction of the Cetra?" Ishiri pressed. 

"There is still the Lucrecia woman," Saerni said, sounding as though she disliked pointing this out. "Sephiroth's mother. She could continue the line of the Cetra." 

"But her grandchildren would lose the ability to hear the Planet entirely," Aeris argued. "Do you want Cetra who can't hear the Planet? Do you want to leave it lonely?" 

"It has us," Narsa said. 

"And how often do you speak to it as a friend?" she demanded. "How often do you look to it for anything more than guidance? How often do you view it as anything but a god?" 

He had no reply to that. 

Aeris sighed, and Sephiroth tightened his embrace just the slightest bit. "I know even with us, the line of Cetra won't last much longer," she said quietly, "but you can't let it die with me and Lucrecia. You can't leave the Planet lonely." 

"But neither can we endanger it by allowing mortals so much power," Narsa insisted. 

The Planet held up a hand and spoke softly. "What if I could change him?" it asked. "If I could cleanse, purge the Jenova from his body, would that be agreeable, satisfactory, child? Minerva, then, will be the most powerful, and you said that you were content, grudgingly, to let her do as she pleases." 

"Yes, I think that would be sufficient," he sighed. 

Sephiroth shifted uncomfortably. "Won't that alter who I am as well?" 

The Planet turned to him with a smile. "You should have learned from Aeris by now: what you are does not make, change who you are. Look. You do not even have a body now, and aren't you still yourself?" 

Aeris twisted to smile at him, then looked back at the Planet. "Do you really think you could do it?" 

"I am not certain," it admitted, "but if enough people decide, agree to grant him life again, then I will give it to him whether or not I can manage, discover how to rid him of the Jenova." It looked pointedly at Narsa. 

"All right, Planet," he acceded. "Do as you will. With you on his side, he was bound to be granted life no matter how this went." 

"Not necessarily," Saerni said with a frown. "It's still possible that they"--she indicated the crowd--"will decide against him. Not all of them are easily convinced. Some are likely just as stubborn as Cloud was." 

The Planet nodded, then winced. "Aeris, friend, I am sorry. You cannot stay any longer..." 

Sephiroth held her tighter, but she shifted, gently urging him to loosen his grip, and turned to face him, laying a hand against his cheek. "You had better keep your promise." 

"Or what?" he asked, managing a smirk. 

"You had to ask, didn't you?" she sighed. "You know I can't do anything to you." 

He shook his head. "There are plenty of things you could do..." 

"But I wouldn't dare, because I love you." Aeris kissed him briefly. "Come back soon, all right?" 

Sephiroth nodded. "I... I will." 

And then she vanished, leaving him alone again. He took a deep breath, let it out, and looked at those still gathered before him. "Well?" 

"Is there anyone else who wishes to speak, whether or not it has to do with, concerns this trial?" the Planet inquired. 

There was a faint murmur in the crowd, but only Tseng came forward, somewhat hesitant though his gaze was direct enough. "I only wanted to offer you my forgiveness," he said levelly. "As a Turk, I probably deserved that death anyway." 

Sephiroth shook his head. "No; I know that Turks have little choice but to follow their orders. But I thank you." 

The Turk shrugged. "After hearing everything that I have, forgiving you isn't hard. And..." Here his speech faltered, belying the emotion that he withheld from his voice. "Do you think you could tell Elena something?" 

"If I am granted another life, I will bring you back so that you can tell her yourself. I told her I would try." 

Tseng shook his head. "Just in case it doesn't work, tell her that I'm sorry for ignoring her. Tell her... that I wish I'd asked her out a lot sooner." 

The swordsman smiled faintly. "All right. I'll remember that." 

The Turk nodded curtly and stepped back. 

Ifalna stood, sharing a glance with the Planet. "Come on, Sephiroth... I'll take you back to my house to wait for the verdict." 

He knew that he could find the way back on his own, but perhaps there was something vaguely ceremonial in being brought in and led back out, as though he were a prisoner being escorted, so he only nodded and followed her back to what served as his prison. Once there, he took up the mirror and went to the window seat to watch Aeris with the mirror propped up against his knees.

* * *

"Yuffie-chan. Hey! Yuffie-chan! Are you okay?" 

She sat up slowly, rubbing her temples. Gods, what a headache. She felt terrible, and she could have hit Shake for addressing her so informally had she not been so disoriented. "Yuffie-chan indeed," she muttered halfheartedly. "It's Yuffie-_sama_ to you, Shake." 

"Hey," he protested, "I was tryin' to be nice for once. Havva little compassion an' all." 

She rolled her eyes and winced--not the smartest thing to do. "Whatever," she said, looking around to get her bearings straight. Right; she'd been meditating in the shrine when the Planet had called her. And since she'd told the villagers they could come here to pray whenever they wanted, that included Shake, and he must have felt like praying. 

Or bothering her. Yeah, that seemed more like him. 

"What're you doing in the shrine, Shake-_chan_?" she asked in annoyance. 

"I heard you got back yesterday and decided I'd given you enough time to sleep. If you ever take after yer old man, it's when you get back from a trip." 

She scowled. "So, what? You wanted to entertain me with your charming presence?" 

"Something like that," he replied, cheerfully ignoring her sarcasm. "So now that I'm sure you're not dying, want to explain the whole fainting bit?" 

"You wouldn't understand," she told him frankly. 

"Try me." 

Yuffie looked at him flatly. "Okay. The Planet called me to bear witness in a trial for Sephiroth that's being held in the Promised Land." 

Shake stared at her, then cracked up. When he finally managed to control his laughter, he wiped the tears from his eyes and shook his head. "Jeez, that's a good one. Always knew you were a brat, but now you're raving mad to boot." 

She sighed. "Told you you wouldn't understand." 

"Whatever. You're crazy. Sephiroth's been dead for years." 

"No, days," she corrected. "And it's not like the Promised Land is a real physical place." 

"Yep. Absolutely nuts." 

"Oh, you're hopeless," Yuffie cried, hopping to her feet. She headed for the door. 

Shake got up to follow. "Where are you going now?" 

She walked into her room, shutting the door in his face. "I have to call someone." 

"Who?" he persisted, shoving the door open. 

Damn the fact that he was taller than her! She glared up at him, hands on her hips. "It's none of your business." 

He raised his eyebrows. "All right, so where did a brat like you get a boyfriend?" 

"Of all the...! Shake, he's not even the same _species_ as me!" 

"Ew! Forget I asked!" 

Muttering in annoyance, Yuffie shut the door again, hoping he would leave her be this time. For once, she thought, it would be nice to have Eastern-style doors with locks. At least she could see when he finally left. With a sigh, she flopped down on her futon and grabbed her PHS. 

"(Hello?)" came Nanaki's gruff voice after a few rings. 

"Hi, Red!" she answered. 

"(Ah. Hello, Yuffie. Has something happened? You've already called today.)" 

"Well..." she said, wondering where to start. "You know how I told Aeris I wanted to help Sephiroth out if I could, right?" 

"(Right...)" 

"So the Planet brought me to the Promised Land to participate in his trial. I pretty much just got back." 

"(You went to the Promised Land?)" Nanaki exclaimed. 

"Yeah," Yuffie replied, "though I couldn't stay that long, I guess 'cause I'm not dead. Cloud and Tifa were there, too, surprisingly enough--and not to bear witness against him either. That's encouraging, isn't it? That Cloud, possibly the guy who hates Sephiroth the most, aside from Sephiroth himself, would try to defend him." 

"(It is,)" Nanaki agreed. "(I take it you do not yet know the outcome of the trial?)" 

"No, not yet. I had to leave before it was over. But... Well, for a while it was looking pretty bad for Seph. This guy, Narsa, was really going at him, accusing him of deceiving all of us. He even said that Sephiroth didn't actually love Aeris. And you know how Seph is; he'll readily believe that he's some kind of monster, not capable of emotions and all that crap." 

"(So what happened?)" 

"He broke down. Actually cried, I think, and the Planet called Aeris in to help him out. I really like the Planet--as a person, I mean. I know that sounds weird, but it has a personality. Makes me wish I was a Cetra, too, so I could get to know it better." 

"(What is the Planet like, exactly?)" 

Yuffie thought for a moment. "Well... It's almost like some combination of a mother and a child. Infinitely wise but at the same time still childishly innocent." 

"(Because it is young in the eyes of the universe, but so much older than any mortal, I suppose,)" Nanaki reasoned. "(So, what did everyone make of Sephiroth... crying?)" 

She frowned. "Most of them were just shocked, but a lot of people grinned. Some even laughed. Me an' Ifalna and--what's his name?--Zack, we tried to shut them up, but it really wasn't any good. They shut up when Aeris came, though. And after seeing those two together, I'd be surprised if more than two people could still rule against him." 

"(They do make quite a couple,)" he agreed. 

"So what's going on where you are?" Yuffie asked, lying back on her futon. 

"(Not much,)" Nanaki replied. "(Things have returned to normal since everyone left; it seems very empty without you, but I suppose the excitement could not last forever.)" 

"No, I guess not," she agreed sadly. "Say, I was thinking of visiting Aeris sometime. What do you think?" 

"(So soon? It has scarcely been two days since we saw her last.)" 

"I wasn't thinking like tomorrow or the day after," Yuffie amended. "I mean, maybe in a week or so. See how they've settled in. And... get a chance to see each other, too." 

"(It sounds like a good idea. I will check with Aeris tomorrow to see if it is all right, and perhaps to find out what's to become of Sephiroth.)" 

She grinned. "Who knows? Maybe we'll be seeing him, too." 

"(Don't get your hopes up too high,)" Nanaki warned. "(Some humans can be very stubborn.)" 

"I know, I know," she said. "Well, anyway, I've got stuff to do today." 

"(All right. I will call you tomorrow once I've spoken with Aeris.)" 

"Okay. Bye." Setting her PHS aside, Yuffie got to her feet and strode down the hall to her father's room, halting just outside with her hand lifted to open the door. She had seen her mother in the Promised Land, spoken a few brief words with her, and she felt that she ought to say something to Godo about it--but what _could_ she say? He wouldn't believe her any more than Shake had. She didn't even think he believed in Leviathan and the five mighty gods anymore. 

Letting her hand fall to her side, Yuffie turned on her heel and left the house. She had more important things to do today than bother with her dad.

* * *

_Aeris sat on a plate of ice high above a river, a dying flower in her hands. She plucked a crimson petal and let it fall to the rushing water below. "He's coming back." _

The ice was freezing cold, its frigid tendrils creeping up her spine and down her legs, seeping into her skin. 

"He's not coming back." Another petal dropped into the river, carried away into oblivion. 

The ice at the water's edge crept across the violent surface. 

"He is..." Another petal lost, a tendril of cold reaching for her heart. 

"He isn't..." Anther petal gone, ice stretching across the rush of water. 

"He--" 

A wind rose, blowing what was left of the flower from her hands. 

"A-ah!" she cried, reaching after it and slipping from her icy perch. She grasped desperately at its edge, but fell, fell, crashed through the ice and into the frigid water. 

No, no, she'd been here before, been here before. She didn't want to go if he wasn't there, couldn't come with her. 

She flailed wildly, trying frantically to get back to shore, but the ice closed in again, closed in around her, pushing her down below the surface of the water. She gasped and spluttered, trying to find air enough to scream. 

Oh, someone, please, help me!

She took the black-gloved hand offered her and--

* * *

Woke up. 

She stared at her outstretched hand lying on the wooden floor, blinking in disorientation. The floorboards felt so very cold beneath her. 

"Aeris?" she heard Reno ask sleepily. 

She blinked again and pulled herself up to peer over the edge of the bed. The blankets lay in disarray, half cast off to the other side of the bed, and beyond them Reno sat poised to get up if she needed him. 

"I'm all right," she said slowly, standing and beginning to untangle the covers. "Just had a nightmare, that's all..." 

"Oh." A slight pause. "You wanna talk about it?" 

"N-no, not really." She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath, then looked at him with a reassuring smile. "Go back to sleep, Reno." 

He frowned, not convinced. "But if you ever need to talk..." 

Aeris nodded. "You'll listen; I know. But I'm fine. Really. Go back to sleep." 

"All right," he said, offering her a faint grin, "but no more nightmares now. Sweet dreams only." 

"All right," she laughed. 

His grin broadened, and he lay back, shutting his eyes. 

Aeris's smile faded. She finished straightening the blankets and sat down to wait until she was certain he had fallen asleep. When he had, she stood and padded over to Sephiroth's body, sitting down beside him as though any moment now, he might come alive again. Her hand reached, trembling and involuntary, to run through his hair. 

A single downy feather fluttered to the floor, freed by her fingers. She bent to retrieve it and held it wonderingly between two fingers; it was a tiny little fluff, silvery, as soft as his hair. She wondered where it had come from, but immediately she recalled the wing she had seen briefly when they had fought Jenova. Had it been real then? Not just her mind playing tricks on her? 

She shook her head, laughing silently. How absurd. Sephiroth did not have wings. It must have gotten caught in his hair during their travels, a bit of down shed by some white-feathered bird. 

_Aeris?_

"Sephiroth?" she whispered, startled to hear his voice. 

_What are you doing?_ he asked. 

"Nothing," she replied, closing her hand around the tiny feather. "Just being foolish." 

_I've never known you to act foolishly._

Aeris sighed and looked down at her closed hand. Slowly, she opened it to show him the bit of fluff. "It was caught in your hair, that's all. I... It reminds me of the wing I saw. But it really is foolish, isn't it? To think that you have a wing?" 

_I have had wings before_, Sephiroth told her, _in the transformations Jenova forced upon me. So it is far from idiocy to think that._

The Cetra closed her eyes to imagine it. "Wings... would suit you perfectly after all." 

_What do you mean?_

"Well, haven't you been my guardian angel these past few weeks?" 

_Guardian angel?_ he echoed incredulously. _I suppose... that one angel deserves another, but I think it a bit much to call myself one._

"A fallen angel then," she decided, "because you only have one wing. But I told you I'd mend the other, didn't I?" When he did not reply, she sighed and asked, "What news of the trial?" 

_I am still awaiting the verdict_, Sephiroth said. 

Aeris faltered. "If... they decide against you, will they let you remain in the Promised Land? Will I be able to see you again some day?" 

_I don't know. Narsa would have me leave. He would have me die as any human does. But I suppose it depends on how harshly they rule._

"They couldn't decide so harshly," she said with conviction, shaking her head. "Though... I'll admit I'm not sure if we convinced enough of them to..." She faltered and looked down at his still body lying near her. "At least, if you're in the Promised Land, I can still talk to you." _Even if I can't embrace you... _

If that is how they decide... Please, Aeris, don't make that your whole life. If I am to remain here, end your isolation. Don't waste your life away there in the City, alone and useless. 

She frowned faintly. "What would you have me do, Sephiroth?" 

A startled pause. _Aeris, you can't stay there to the end of your days._

Aeris's gaze drifted to her left, towards the center of the City where she had died. 

His tone grew more desperate, as though he sensed where her thoughts were headed. _And don't you dare think of killing yourself._

Aeris started, but could not reply, ashamed that, even for an instant, she had considered it. 

_If you did that, I..._

"...you'd never forgive yourself," she finished, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I'm being stupid. You're right." 

_Then you'll try to live, even if I don't return?_ Sephiroth asked her, sounding relieved. 

"Yes. I'll try. I guess... I could always go back to Midgar. Certainly they need every bit of help they can get." 

_Wutai, too_, he reminded her. 

"Yuffie would like that, wouldn't she?" she mused with a faint smile. "Is that where you want to go, if we can?" 

_Yes, I think so. I suppose we can always leave if it is too hard. _

Friend... the Planet murmured before she could reply. It sounded as though it had bad news. 

"What is it, Planet?" Aeris asked, using its name for Sephiroth's sake; she could sense him in her mind, silent and anxious. "Did they...?" 

_No, no, they did not rule against him. They ruled in his favor._

Only the Planet's tone kept her from crying out in delight. "...but?" 

_Only barely. So I must find a way to remove the Jenova from him, and I do not know how. I do not know how..._

"You managed to accept Jenova, didn't you?" Aeris asked, trying to keep her misgivings out of her voice and even her thoughts. She needed to reassure it, not worry it. "And you figured out how to bring non-Cetra, and even the living, into the Promised Land. So surely you'll be able to solve this puzzle, too." 

_Hope you are right. But, even if I can discover how, it will take a long time. His cells will resist and work against me. Will be hard, and I will need to bring his spirit into the Lifestream._ It hesitated, and its voice held both the tone of a parent wanting to comfort her and that of a child unable to understand why she might be upset. _You may have to wait several years without even his presence watching over you. And I... may not even succeed._

"You'll succeed," she said, firmly so that maybe she would believe her own false confidence. "And I can wait. I was prepared to wait years if I had to." 

Another hesitation. _Even _I_ may not be able to speak to you while I alter him._

"I have living friends, Planet. I have the other Cetra. It'll be all right." 

Turmoil came to her mind as twisting green and black, but at last it settled into an image of the Midgar ruins, an endless expanse of debris save for a little yellow bud struggling to reach the sun. _Wish me luck?_

Aeris smiled. "Good luck, Planet." 

It returned the smile in its own way, letting the yellow bud bloom and spread its petals in her mind. And then it was gone. 

She sighed, her smile fading. 

_What is it?_ Sephiroth asked uncertainly. 

"They decided in your favor, but not strongly enough to let you live as you are. The Planet says it may take years for it to remove the Jenova from your body, if it can do it at all." 

_Years?_ he wondered with some incredulity. 

"It can't focus on you alone, you know. It has its own wounds to take care of." 

_Right. But... what about you? I know you told that you'd be all right, but--_

"I will. Don't worry about it. Actually," she considered, "you'll be taken to the Lifestream while it works, so I suppose you won't be aware enough to worry..." 

_I will still think about you. It's impossible for me not to._

"I know what you mean." 

_You need to find distractions_, Sephiroth told her, not as easily convinced as the Planet. _In the Lifestream, I know I won't be able to tell how much time is passing. It will not matter how long I wait. But for you--you need something to focus on so you won't think of me constantly. So you won't be lonely._

"That's asking a bit much," Aeris said ruefully. "I'm not even sure I want to be distracted..." 

_It won't be like before_, he persisted. _It won't be like your years in the Promised Land. You cannot simply lose yourself in watching someone else. You have your own life to look after._

She nodded. "I know. I'll figure something out, Seph." 

_Good. I do not want to leave you lonely._

"You'll be coming back to me. If I have to wait years, it won't matter, so long as you come back." 

_I..._ He hesitated. _Ifalna says that I have to go now._

Aeris stared at her hands and the silvery feather. "Then... I'll see you soon, Sephiroth." 

_Right_, Sephiroth managed with less conviction. _I'll see you soon, Aeris. I love you._

"I love you, too," she answered, raising her voice above a whisper for the first time in their conversation. 

_Goodbye..._

And then he was gone. She closed her hands around the feather, frowning faintly. 

Reno stirred, and she glanced sharply in his direction, relaxing when he only rolled over and did not wake. 

Another sound on a different level of hearing caught her attention, and she glanced south towards the Forest. _This_ she had to attend to. 

The Cetra got to her feet, retrieved her boots and her coat, and headed outside. The sky was just beginning to look lighter in the east, but the sun had not yet climbed over the ridge. Minerva leaned just outside the doorway, her arms folded and her attention on the City. 

"Where are you going so early in the morning?" the girl asked without looking at her. Aeris noticed that she had taken one of her shirts; certainly not for the cold, she thought, but to hide the sharp black tattoo on her shoulder. 

"I think someone's trying to make their way through the Forest," Aeris answered. "A human. And the Forest doesn't usually like humans..." 

"Strange that someone should be trying to find their way through," Minerva remarked. 

The Cetra nodded in agreement. "Whoever it is, I'm going to go guide them." 

"Shall I go with?" 

"I... No. I'll go alone." 

The girl finally glanced at her. "They have decided then?" 

Aeris started. "Y-yeah..." She looked up with a slight smile. "As long as the Planet can find a way to rid him of the Jenova in his body, he's coming back." 

Minerva nodded and looked away again. "I see." 

Aeris touched her arm lightly and smiled more genuinely before turning up the path. "I should be going before they lose the way entirely." 

The silver-haired girl gave no reply; she had expected none. 

This day, the air was still, and the cold seeped slowly into her flesh rather than lancing straight through to her bone with the wind. It reminded her of her nightmare, and she shivered. _So this is where I am perched_, she thought distantly, _but when will I fall?_

She shook her head quickly to clear it of such morbid thoughts. It was far too soon after his departure for her to start despairing. Tugging her coat more tightly about her, she glanced back at the City. Maybe she could rebuild this place, as others were rebuilding their homes. 

Certainly she alone could not revive a city dead for two thousand years, but if she was to wait here for Sephiroth, what else could she do? It would be a distraction, wouldn't it? And maybe she could restore at least some of the city's former glory, though it was folly to imagine that it could ever be anything but the gravestone for a race long passed from this world. 

Aeris entered the Forest, and just as its branches began to close in around her, the trees seemed to waken, and the scant light filtering down through their canopy became a flood of golden shafts that drove away the sleepy mist. The path was clear and open beneath her feet. 

Smiling gratefully, she quickened her pace. More than halfway through to the other side of the Forest, she saw the girl who had been foolhardy enough to venture into these woods. Her steps were deliberate, her eyes alert, and she caught sight of Aeris almost the instant the Cetra did her. 

The girl stopped, as did Aeris, and regarded her uncertainly, her gaze taking in every detail. 

"It isn't safe to wander through this forest," Aeris told her. 

"So I've heard, but I wanted to see the City of the Ancients." 

"Is it really worth risking your life just to see such ruins?" 

"You tell me," the girl replied. "You've been there, haven't you? And the Sleeping Forest woke up for you." 

"The City is beautiful in a haunting sort of way," Aeris admitted, "but you shouldn't have come. You're lucky I sensed you coming, otherwise you'd have gotten lost. The Forest isn't fond of humans. Your race must have done something to it long ago, and it hasn't forgotten." 

The girl eyed her with a curious frown. "What exactly are you?" 

The Cetra shrugged, doubting the girl would believe her. "Does it matter?" 

"If you hadn't come to help me out of here, I'd be a little scared. But, considering... I guess it's only curiosity." 

"Well... I'm Aeris anyway. What's your name?" 

"Delphine," the girl answered. "Are you one of Minerva's friends?" 

"Yes, I am," Aeris answered in startlement. Then she nodded in understanding. "She must have met you when she went into town... yesterday, was it?" 

Delphine nodded. "Right. Yesterday." 

"You came for her, then, not just to see the City." 

"Yeah." 

Aeris smiled. "Then I'm glad she's picked up a friend who's willing to risk this much just to see her." 

"I'm not sure you could call us friends," the girl said hesitantly. 

"You will be soon enough, I'm sure." The Cetra turned, motioning for Delphine to follow. "Come on, I'll take you to her. Maybe introduce you to Reno if he's awake yet." 

"Who's Reno?" Delphine asked, moving to walk along beside her. 

"Minerva's fiancé." 

The girl's eyes widened in surprise. "She's getting married?" 

Aeris's expression fell. "As soon as her brother gets back to see it, yes." 

"Back from where?" 

She waved a hand in some vague gesture, shrugged, and said nothing. How was she supposed to tell this stranger that Minerva's brother was _Sephiroth_, and that they were waiting for him to come back from the dead? 

"Eh. Sounds complicated." 

Aeris nodded, and the girl remained thankfully silent as the Cetra led her along the forest path and into the City. Even her awe remained unspoken. 

When they approached the shell house, Aeris lifted an arm to wave. "Look, Minerva; I've brought you a guest." 

The silver-haired girl blinked as her gaze shifted to Delphine. 

"Hi, Minerva," Aeris's companion greeted. 

"Hello, Delphine," Minerva replied tentatively. 

The Cetra managed a cheerful smile. "Why don't you two come inside? I don't think your friend likes the cold as much as you do, Minerva." 

"But... what about...?" _Sephiroth._

"Oh. Right." Aeris hesitated, then stepped just inside and looked down the short hall. "Well, I'm guessing there's another room through that door if you can just move the crates aside. You should be able to talk in there, and I'll send Reno down when he wakes up." 

"All right." 

Nodding a goodbye to the two girls, Aeris headed up the ladder. Reno, as she had expected, was still fast asleep, though she doubted he was a very heavy sleeper. She would have to call her friends to let them know of Sephiroth's fate later. 

Instead she sat down on her bed, picking up her bag and taking out her old diary. Her neat handwriting filled a little more than half the pages, and the rest were blank. She flipped to the last entry, a wistful smile crossing her face. 

_I told Cloud I would take him to Sector 7_, the last paragraph read. _There's something about him that reminds me of Zack, I guess. I know Mom will ask him to go without me, but I have a feeling this could be my chance to get out of Midgar and find my own Promised Land, like my real Mom once said._

Reaching into her bag again, Aeris dug around until she produced a pen. 

_September 17th, 2052_, she wrote. 

_It's been a very long time indeed. I think to describe all that's happened would take hundreds of pages. As of late, I've had no need of entrusting anything to paper. I've had a friend with a mind and a heart capable of hearing whatever I had to say. But now he's gone away, and I'm left once again with pen and paper. I don't know when he'll be back. _

This moment is one of those where I feel so tangled inside that the only thing I want to do is cry, but instead of there being no one to offer me a shoulder to cry into, I cannot accept that comfort. I have to be strong, now that I'm alone again. I won't shed a tear until he's back, because I don't want any comfort but his.

* * *

Author's Notes  
And the rest of the trial. I added the parts with Zack there because I realized that both Aeris and Cloud would have things they wanted to say to him, and vice versa. Seemed silly for them not to use this opportunity. 

I ended up taking out more from this part than I put in, though. Originally there was a brief scene which had Aeris waking up after she returned from the Promised Land, but it really wasn't very interesting and didn't serve much of a purpose, so I cut it out. I did, however, leave in the scene where Yuffie wakes up, which gave me a chance to show how she interacts with Shake, and also to further her relationship with Nanaki a bit. I also like the bit I added about Godo at the very end. 

I also did write a scene for Minerva and Delphine, but frankly it was mostly recapping all that had happened so far, and I think Aeris's diary provides a better ending to the chapter. I ended up taking whatever bits were actually important and working them into the earlier scene with Delphine. 

(Again, sorry for missing an update. Seems like just after I assure you guys that I'll be finishing this thing on a set schedule, I start being late. X3 But I was at Otakon, so can you really blame me? Keep an eye on my website if you're interested in Otakon photos and fun with plushies.) 


	41. One Petal at a Time

**Chapter 40: One Petal at a Time**

"...and only with you do I feel whole. Where in your eyes, did I lose my...?" 

Aeris looked up, her soft murmur of song trailing off. A ways up the path, she could hear laughter. At first the voices failed to register, but then she nodded to herself, remembering that they were expecting visitors today. She stood, carefully stepping out of the flower bed and onto the path. 

"Hi, Aeris!" Katrina called as she came into view around the shell house, Delphine beside her waving one arm broadly and Nanaki at their heels. 

The Cetra smiled softly, brushed the dirt from her hands, and waved back. 

Nanaki bounded up ahead of the others, rubbing his face against her leg then sitting back on his haunches to look up at her. "Aeris, it is good to see you. You are well, I hope?" 

She nodded, knelt down to scratch him behind the ears, and noticed the four feathers in his mane. A replacement and another mark of honor for fighting Jenova, she guessed. "Yes, Nanaki, I'm doing fine." She ran her fingers along one of the feathers. "You didn't have these two last I saw you." 

He tossed his head. "That was months ago. They had not yet had time for the ceremony then. I'm sure you know what they are for." 

She smiled and got to her feet as the two girls joined them. "Hello, Katrina, Delphine. Glad to see each other as always?" 

"Of course," Delphine replied. "I can't wait 'til my parents let me move to Cosmo Canyon." 

"But we're glad to see you, too, Aeris," Katrina added, giving her friend a look. 

The Cetra laughed. "Well, come on. I'm sure Reno and Minerva will want to know you're here." She led them down the path to the shell house and opened the door to what was now their living room. "They're here, guys," she announced. 

Minerva and Reno looked up from where they sat on the couch as the four entered. "Hey, everyone," the redhead greeted. 

"Hi, Reno," Delphine replied. "Hey, Minerva." 

She and Katrina walked over to sit down on the other side of Reno. Minerva shifted uncomfortably and moved to perch on the arm of the couch, giving the other three more room. Nanaki lay down at their feet, and Aeris remained in the doorway, watching the others for a moment as though she could not join them, only watch, silent and invisible. 

Reno waved her over. "C'mon, Aeris. We can make room for you." 

She gave a start and smiled sheepishly as she joined them at the couch, sitting down beside Nanaki on the floor. "So, Katrina, how are things going?" she asked. "Have you got your own place yet?" 

"Yeah," the girl answered eagerly. "I bought a little cliffside hut about a month ago. Haven't paid for it in full yet, but I'm getting there. It's pretty high up so it's got a nice view of the canyon." 

"Sounds cozy." 

"How big is it?" Delphine wanted to know. 

"One room. I don't really need any more space than that. I've got a mattress, a set of shelves, and a view, and that's good enough for me. The neighbors are nice, too." 

"And everyone remembers you very fondly, Aeris," Nanaki added, sitting up and glancing behind him at Katrina. "Actually, we brought something for you from all of them..." 

The girl started. "Oh! Right." She passed a hand-bound book down to the Cetra, who took it carefully, blinking in mute surprise. 

"It is a compilation of various writings and drawings from around the village," Nanaki explained. "Some are simply thank you notes, others stories, ink sketches..." 

"This is really too much," Aeris breathed. 

"Hardly," the feline disagreed. "We kept getting suggestions from the villagers for various ways to thank you until finally Miera came up with this idea. Katrina helped the Elders to collect and combine the works." 

"And I'm sure you had something to do with it, too," she replied, running her fingers over the thin wooden cover and gingerly opening the book. "I thank you both. Will you tell everyone how much I appreciate this?" 

"Of course." 

Aeris nodded gratefully, gently closing the book and looking out the window. Minerva had helped her install it only a month ago; it faced north, and further down the path, just before it wove into the mountain caverns, she could see a great, sharp-spined structure shining bone-white in the sun. She always found it disconcerting and fascinating at the same time. 

"Has Elena come to visit you yet?" Nanaki asked of Reno. "I recall she was quite upset with your decision to come here." 

"Nah," the redhead replied. "She writes, but she hasn't come up here yet. Maybe she's waiting for summer or something so she can take a long vacation, I dunno." 

"Perhaps she is merely being stubborn," Minerva suggested. "After all, you have not visited her either, and I doubt you even write as often as she." 

Reno laughed sheepishly. "Think I should go down for a few days?" 

"Yeah, you probably should," Katrina chimed in. "I think she'd appreciate it." 

"You wanna come, too, Min?" 

"That depends. Will Aeris be coming...?" 

Aeris twisted to glance at them and shook her head, smiling faintly. "No, that's all right. I think I'd rather stay here, but I can take care of myself for a few days." 

Minerva nodded. "Of course. I only wanted to be sure you would not mind our absence." 

"I won't," the Cetra assured her. 

"She probably can't wait to be rid of us," Reno joked. "After all, we're here every day, invading her privacy and calling it 'cheering her up.'" 

Aeris laughed, settling back down to look out the window again. "Oh, but it does cheer me up. Who knows what I'd be like without you two here?" 

"Morbid and taciturn, no doubt," Minerva said wryly. 

Reno snorted. "Morbid old Aeris. Sure." 

The Cetra smiled. "No, I guess I wouldn't be that bad." 

"What time is it?" Delphine asked abruptly. 

"Just past noon," Minerva answered. 

Aeris glanced up at Delphine. "I'm guessing you asked because you're hungry?" 

The girl nodded, grinning sheepishly. "Yeah. I hope I'm not the only one..." 

"I'm hungry, too," Katrina said. 

"Me, three," Reno added. 

The Cetra set her book down on the floor and got to her feet. "I'll go fix something. I'll be back in a little while." 

"But you _always_ do the cooking," Delphine pointed out. "Why doesn't Reno make lunch for a change?" 

"Dear, have you ever _tasted_ Reno's cooking?" Aeris asked of her. 

Minerva made a face, and Reno grinned proudly. 

"I guess not," the girl conceded. "All right, go ahead." 

The Cetra smiled, leaving the room and heading for the kitchen area they had added on to the upper part of the shell house. It seemed a bit strange to have it just past the bedroom, but, lacking a dining room, they ate in the bedroom as often as in the living room. 

She glanced at the third of the beds as she past it, grateful that they had since moved Sephiroth's body into a make-shift room just below. It was still fresh in her mind that he had been here, but she knew that soon enough she would not think of him when walking through this room. At the very least she would not have to see him when she could not bear it. 

Pushing even these thoughts of him out of her mind, Aeris continued on into the kitchen and brought a cheerful hum to her throat.

* * *

Shera leaned against him, laughing, as they headed home. "Oh, come on, Cid... You know you teased them at their wedding, too. I don't see what you're so angry about." 

He snorted. "Aw, Shera, you know I'm not really mad. I just never thought that spiky-headed kid would have the nerve to--" 

"Hush," she interrupted, moving to stand in front of him and gesturing towards their house. "You're supposed to carry me across the threshold, you know." 

Cid ran a hand through his hair and looked at her imploringly. "What, and I have to kick the fu--er, damn door down, too? Hard to open it with no hands free." 

She laughed again. God, it was a beautiful sound. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her this happy. 

Or this gorgeous. Normally she'd wear drab-colored blouses and pants, but her wedding dress was a pale blue and close-fitting enough to accentuate her petite figure. Her hair, which she rarely brushed and kept tied back in a loose pony tail, she had left down, with the tresses around her face pulled back into the hairpiece from which her veil hung. 

Of course, he probably looked a lot better than usual, too, considering he never gave a damn about his appearance, but the suit was making him uncomfortable. 

Shera put her hands on her hips and tilted her head, a timid smirk on her face. "Well?" 

"Aw, fuck it," he muttered, taking her by the waist and tossing her unceremoniously over his shoulder as she cried out in surprise. 

"This is _not_ what I meant!" she squeaked indignantly. 

"Too bad, hon," he replied, fitting his key to the lock and opening his door. He set her down once inside and turned to close the door behind them as Shera straightened her skirts. 

"That was... uncalled for," she told him. 

Cid turned back to her, grinning when he saw the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Come on, you know you liked it." 

She kept up the frown for a second longer before bursting into giggles. "Oh, you're incorrigible." 

He chuckled and started taking off his jacket and tie. "I'm never wearin' a suit again," he declared, tossing the distasteful articles of clothing across the room. 

"Not even for me?" Shera asked, fingers working to take off the veil and let down her hair. "You looked so handsome." 

The pilot snorted. "Handsome, my ass." 

She set the veil down on the kitchen table and went to retrieve the jacket and tie where they had landed on the couch. "Well, I thought so. And you even shaved!" 

"Probably not gonna happen again," he told her. 

"It's a good thing Yuffie took some pictures then." 

"Whatever," Cid muttered. "Want some tea?" 

"Tea sounds lovely," Shera said. "Oh! But I'd like to change first. I've been afraid of spilling something on this pretty dress all day." 

"Go ahead," he told her, setting some water on the stove to heat. 

She came back in some minutes later, dressed in her nightgown, and stretched her arms over her head as he poured her a cup. "Mm," she murmured, sitting down and taking a sip. "Mr. and Mrs. Highwind..." 

"Husband and wife," Cid said as he sat down, just as awed. "Who'd've thunk it?" 

"Your friends," Shera reminded him with a tiny smirk. "They all thought it was about time." 

He ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, well, nobody ever said I was quick." 

"I didn't think it would happen either," she admitted, "but I'm glad they persuaded you otherwise." She sighed contentedly and looked around the house. "Now this really is home." 

"What d'ya mean? You've _been_ livin' here." 

"Yes, but not as your wife. I've been living here as 'that mechanic Shera,' not as Mrs. Highwind." 

"I guess you're right," Cid agreed. "Sorry I took so long." 

Shera got up and went to kiss him lightly. "It's all right, Cid. I would have waited forever if it meant being your wife." 

"You really mean that?" 

"Yes." 

He pulled her into his lap with a grin. "But I bet you're glad you didn't _have_ to wait forever." 

"Exactly."

* * *

"Ah! Aeris, there you are! Trying to hide, were you?" 

The Cetra started and got to her feet. "No, I just... saw your garden and..." She shook her head. "Did you want to kn--" 

"Oh, no," Lucrecia interrupted. "No, I don't want to ask you about that. If you knew anything more, I'm sure you'd tell me." 

Aeris smiled faintly, stepping out onto the path and ruefully brushing some dirt from her dress. "Probably ruined it," she murmured. "Well then, what _did_ you want?" 

"To thank you. I don't think I've ever sufficiently expressed my gratitude, and you've done so much for me..." 

"You don't have to say anything," Aeris told her, shaking her head. "It's gratifying enough to see you and Vincent so happy together." 

"Still, if there's anything that I can do, don't hesitate to ask." 

"I'm getting on well enough, but I'll keep that in mind." 

"At least you aren't blaming yourself," Lucrecia said softly. "That's what Sephiroth would have done had he been in your place." 

"He probably will anyway, when he gets back." She sighed and looked down. "I miss him a lot these days. I'd give anything just to hear his voice, look in his eyes..." 

"I know the feeling. Don't let yourself become too isolated. It'll drive you crazy, and no one seems to see enough of you as it is." 

"I just don't want to be a burden to anyone. I can't pretend as well as before, and..." 

"Your mood affects others, and you don't want them to be sad," Lucrecia finished. 

Nodding faintly, the Cetra let her gaze wander back to the flowers which had caught her attention earlier. "It will be a beautiful garden in a few years," she said. "You've done a lovely job." 

"Thank you, but I'm sure this is awfully plain compared to what you could do." 

Aeris shook her head. "There is beauty in simplicity. This looks far better than my own garden anyway." 

"But I imagine you don't have much to work with so far north," Lucrecia remarked. "I should like to see what you can do with it." 

"Not much with how I'm feeling, I'm afraid--but never mind that." She finally met Lucrecia's gaze. "Congratulations. You must be so happy today, Mrs. Valentine." She managed a smile and went on, "Now, go on back to your wedding. I don't want to spoil anything." 

"Won't you come back with me?" 

Aeris hesitated, looking around the sparse garden. "I think... I'll stay here just a little longer. I'll come back when I'm certain I can smile without it seeming so transparent." 

"I understand," Lucrecia replied, "but if you stay too long, I'll come looking for you again." 

"All right." The Cetra watched Lucrecia disappear around the back of the mansion, then walked to the front gate and leaned on it, looking out. This was where Sephiroth had grown up, she mused. If only it had been as loving a household as it would be from now on. She wondered if he had even set foot beyond this gate. Had Hojo even let him outside? Had he even felt the sunlight on his skin before he escaped? 

A desire to show him how this place had changed welled up inside her, and she had to close her eyes for a moment to calm it. It had only been eight months. It would be a while yet before she could see him. She could take that, couldn't she? 

Aeris opened her eyes and glanced backwards. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and smiled. Yes, she could do this. She could keep up a convincing pretense for just a little longer. Letting go of the gate and the memories it brought, she turned to walk along the path and join the party in the back yard.

* * *

Delphine did not take off her coat before she sat down, but hugged it closer to herself. "Gods, it's hardly any warmer in here than outside!" she exclaimed. "How do you guys stand it?" 

"There's a big difference between the temperature in here and the temp out there," Reno told her. "You'll notice it when you walk outside again." 

"But not when I walk in," she added dryly. "Anyway, where's Minerva? She upstairs?" 

He shook his head. "Nah, she's out somewhere." 

"In this cold? She's gotta be insane." 

Reno shrugged. "At least she was wearing a jacket for once. But, I mean, you know she doesn't mind extreme cold. She just gets hot easily." 

Delphine smirked. "Which probably works out great for you, huh?" 

"Hardly more than a year and how well you know me!" he laughed. 

"Does she do this often? She's usually here when I come over." 

"You don't usually come so early in the morning," Reno reminded her. "Min'll go out at night when she doesn't feel like sleeping. Aeris, too, sometimes. Min, I can understand, but it's hard to figure out why _Aeris_ would want to go out in the middle of the night, especially in the winter." 

"Maybe she has trouble sleeping?" Delphine suggested. 

"I guess," the redhead sighed, shaking his head. "She worries me sometimes." 

"Only sometimes?" 

"I can't think about her all the time; I've got Minerva." 

Delphine shrugged. "By the way, have any of you even started looking for jobs? I mean, whatever gil you brought with you can't last much longer." 

"We don't need the money, really." 

"You don't?" she asked in puzzlement. "How do you even plan to feed yourselves?" 

"Min hunts," he explained simply. 

Delphine blinked, staring at him uncomprehendingly. "She hunts," she repeated. 

"Yeah. She's pretty good with those knives of hers. Skins 'em and cuts 'em up and everything. And then we--" 

"That's nice," the girl interrupted. "I don't need a description." 

Reno grinned pleasantly. 

She frowned at him dubiously. "I suppose she scavenges, too?" she queried skeptically. "And what about bread and stuff?" 

"Have you ever seen us eat bread?" he asked her. 

"Well, no," she admitted. 

"Then there you go. She did do some scavenging our first winter, but we've got a vegetable garden now. Aeris can make it grow year round, which is pretty neat." 

"It's because she's a Cetra, right?" 

"Yeah. Unless you know someone else who can get flowers to bloom in freezing temperatures?" 

"Nope." 

Reno leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. "So, what are you doing here so early anyway? It's not even eight o'clock yet." 

Delphine shrugged. "I woke up early and couldn't get back to sleep. I got bored after a while, so I decided I'd come over and hope nobody minded." 

"Nah, no one minds. We're all early risers or all-nighters here." 

"I wouldn't have thought you'd be an early riser, Reno," she remarked doubtfully. 

"Hey!" he exclaimed, pretending to look offended. "Just 'cause I look like I just got out of bed doesn't mean it's true." 

"...but you _always_ look like you just got out of bed," she stated flatly. "Do you even know how to use a comb?" 

"Not my fault I have unruly hair," he muttered defensively. 

Delphine laughed. 

"What is so amusing?" Minerva asked, stepping into the room and looking to Reno for an answer. 

"She's making fun of my hair," he explained with a whine to his voice. 

The silver-haired girl rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Reno, what does it matter?" 

"It doesn't, really, so long as you like it." 

"It does suit you," Minerva granted, sitting down on the other side of him and only then acknowledging the other girl. "Good morning, Delphine. You're here earlier than usual." 

She nodded. "That's what Reno was saying. Oh! I forgot to ask; where's Aeris?" 

"Where do you think she is?" Reno asked. 

"Upstairs?" 

The couple exchanged glances. 

"She is with Sephiroth," Minerva informed her. 

"Oh." An awkward pause. "Still nothing, huh?" 

"Nothing." 

"So, anyway... What's new with you guys?" 

"You know how it is. Same old, same old..."

* * *

Yuffie played with the violet-tipped feather in her hands, twirling it, tossing it and letting it drift slowly down to land again in her palms. Her face was set in a frown. Feelings like these for another human or someone close to human would have been easy to explain. She could have easily called it love. 

She let the feather flutter to the floor in front of her folded legs. 

But what did you do when you felt love just as deep for a member of another species entirely? It seemed ridiculous. A human and a... sapient cat? How could she have feelings for someone so vastly different? But she did. She loved Nanaki for his personality and his spirit. But humans expressed love physically. 

Yuffie took up the feather again. _So what?_ she thought defiantly. _I don't have to follow convention when what I'm feeling is so unconventional._

But that wasn't her only problem; she didn't know if Nanaki even thought of her that way. _We view things differently from humans_, he often said. He'd never seemed to grasp the concept of love, either, always giving her puzzled looks or turning instead to his knowledge of friendships. So maybe it was just a human thing, and Yuffie was just crazy. 

But then, most humans didn't understand it either, not until they actually felt it. So maybe Nanaki was just clueless like the rest of them. 

Whatever the case, she decided she had to tell him. At the very least, she knew he'd never laugh. The real question was, how was she supposed to put it? 

She wished she could talk to Aeris about it; Aeris would know how to deal with this, but Yuffie couldn't bother her with it. The Cetra had always dealt with other people's problems on top of her own, and Yuffie wasn't about to let that pattern continue. She could figure this out on her own... couldn't she? 

Letting out a moan of frustration, she tossed the feather up into the air and fell backwards, sprawling across her futon--which was now a satisfying shade of midnight blue. The feather drifted erratically downward, back and forth, only to land in her open palm. Yuffie shut her eyes. 

_Just call him up. Your PHS is _inches_ from your fingertips. Call Nanaki. _

And say what? 'Hi, Red. Guess what? I'm in love with you! Isn't that great?' 

No, that was stupid. She struggled with the wording. _'Nanaki, I wanna tell you something: I love you.'_

"Rrgh." No, that was even worse. Yuffie sat up, snatching up her PHS and dialing his number before she could waste another minute fretting over it. She'd say it however it came out, and that'd be that. 

"(Hello?)" Nanaki's familiar gravelly voice came over the line after a single ring. 

"Hi, Red," she greeted, trying to sound as casual as she usually did. "What's up?" 

"(Not much, really,)" he answered. "(How about with you?)" 

She took a deep breath to steady herself. "I've been thinking. And I've come to a conclusion that... pleases me, frustrates me, and scares me..." 

"(Yuffie?)" 

"It's pretty crazy, I guess, but... I think I've finally figured out what it's like to be in love." 

Nanaki hesitated. "(...d-dare I ask if this crazy feeling is directed toward... me?)" 

The eagerness in his voice made her heart leap. "Yeah," she said weakly. "I love you, Nanaki." 

A relieved sigh. "(As I love you, Yuffie.)" 

"Hontou ni?" she asked, slipping into Wutain. _Really?_

"(Hai. Gomen nasai.)" _Yes. I'm so sorry._

"Doushite?" _Why?_

"(Boku wa...)" _I..._ Nanaki faltered. "(I should have told you a long time ago. Or maybe I should have taken Aeris up on her offer to tell you for me, but I thought I could do it on my own.)" 

"Baka," she chided teasingly. "You're lucky I worked up the courage to tell you." 

"(Indeed I am.)" 

Yuffie ran her fingers through her hair. "Isn't it weird, though? We're so different..." 

"(Physically, perhaps. But otherwise, I would not say so. We may have numerous differences, but we have far more similarities.)" 

"You're prob'ly right. Still... not many interspecies relationships, are there?" 

"(Does it matter?)" Nanaki asked. 

She sighed. "Aside from the ridicule I'm gonna get once people find out, no, it doesn't." 

"(I am sorry for that.)" 

"What could you do about it? It's not your fault at all. And I guess... This doesn't change a whole lot, does it?" 

"(I would not say that. It is a relief not to have to worry whether or not you feel as I do.)" 

Yuffie nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I guess so. Now we know we're _both_ crazy. Great, isn't it?" she asked, grinning and without sarcasm. 

Nanaki snorted. "(Crazy indeed. It does not seem like hearts care anything for physical forms, even if your instinct tells you the other person is your enemy.)" 

The ninja's smile faded; she knew who he was referring to. "Do you really think Aeris's body was telling her to stay away from Seph because he had Jenova in him?" 

"(Possibly. With a link that strong to the Planet, and with Jenova being a parasite on it...)" He trailed off. "(You were up there most recently,)" he went on. "(How is she doing?)" 

She thought for a second. "It's always hard to tell with Aeris. She seemed like she was doing pretty well, considering it's been a year and a half, and she's still got no word from the Planet. But there were a few moments when she got this faraway look in her eyes that was kinda worrying." 

"(I suppose we cannot expect too much of her...)" 

"Mm," Yuffie agreed. "If it wasn't for Sephiroth, I'd've gone to her for advice about, well, you, but I doubt she's stable enough to get involved in other people's problems, even if she acts like it." 

"(At least we don't have to suffer through the uncertainty and sorrow that she and Sephiroth have.)" 

She grinned ruefully as she lay back and looked up at the ceiling. "Yeah. Even if the Planet could solve our little species problem--sorta like it's doing with Seph--I don't think I'd agree to it if it meant one of us would be waiting like Aeris is." 

There was a startled pause. "(I had not thought of that at all. But I suppose you are right. It is not worth waiting years even for that. I would not want you to suffer that wait, and it would not be fair for you to be the one changed.)" 

"My dad'd be horrified," Yuffie considered with a laugh. "The villagers, too. At first it might be kinda fun to see what they'd think of a feline ruling Wutai, but I know it'd be too much." 

"(And you wouldn't quite be you anymore,)" Nanaki added softly. 

"Nn..." She happened to catch sight of her clock and frowned upon seeing the time. She sighed and sat up. "I'm sorry, Red, but I should be going. I've got work to do, and Shake'll think I've slept in or something. He gives me enough trouble as it is." 

"(I understand,)" he replied. "(I will hear from you later then.)" 

"Love ya," she said, grinning. "Bye." 

"(Suki,)" he replied. "(Ja ne.)" _I love you. Later._

"Ja ne," Yuffie laughed, turning off the PHS. _Later..._

* * *

The sun was sinking in the west, melting into the darkening ocean and setting the sky afire. Elena could never stop herself from watching a sunset from Junon's harbor. The sight always drew her to a walkway above the docks, just outside of where Rufus Shinra had once held command. The place still reeked of Shinra, despite the seven years that had passed, but for all that, the view was no less entrancing. 

When the last sliver of molten orange finally slipped behind the horizon, Elena turned away from the ocean and headed home. 

She, Rude, and Reeve lived in one of the ubiquitous apartment complexes in the upper city. Technically, Elena owned one apartment, and Reeve the one next to it, but they were joined by a door between them, and so nobody ever paid attention to what room belonged to who. 

Now that Reno was away in the City of the Ancients, Elena had a bedroom to herself. At first she'd thought it a blessing to have her privacy, but by now she kind of missed the bickering. You couldn't argue with Rude--he answered in monosyllables or not at all--nor could you argue with Reeve, who was generally pretty agreeable and pleasant. She never thought she'd come to miss that kind of banter. 

She often wondered what it would be like to have their whole group together again. Reno, Rude, Reeve, herself, and, of course, Tseng. Elena had come so close, so very close, to getting them back together. Sephiroth had said he would try to bring Tseng back, but with him dead, too... After over two years, she was starting to doubt, but she reminded herself that it had taken him five years to come back before. Who was to say the Planet could do it any faster? 

But, another three years just to see if it was _possible_ for Tseng to be resurrected? She hadn't even known him as well as the others, and one of her biggest fears was that he wasn't at all like she remembered. Her other was that he didn't--couldn't--like her that way. 

Elena opened the door to her apartment and stepped inside, greeted by the smell of food. She closed the door, replacing her keys in her pocket, and headed for the kitchen. "Hi, Reeve," she greeted; he was the only one of the four--Reno included--who knew how to use anything besides a microwave, so they had unanimously assigned him cooking duty. 

"Welcome home, Elena," Reeve said with a glance and a smile in her direction. 

"Dinner gonna be ready soon?" she asked. 

"In about five minutes." 

Elena nodded. "Rude's home already, I'm guessing." 

Reeve gestured towards the living room with a spoon. "He's reading the paper, I think." 

"Right." She moved on into the living room, which also housed the fairly small table at which they ate. Sure enough, Rude sat relaxed at the table, reading _The Aurora_. It had been an underground newspaper back in Shinra's day, but now it was well-read and circulated planetwide. 

"Anything interesting?" she asked. 

Rude glanced at her, removed one of the pages, and wordlessly handed it to her. It took her a minute to find the headline 'Frequent Visitors Spark Interest in Forgotten City.' 

Her eyes widened. "Is this--are they talking about the City of the Ancients?" 

He nodded. "It looks like Aeris may have some very curious scientists to deal with." 

Elena grimaced. "Not fun. What do you think she'll tell them?" 

Rude shrugged. "I've no idea, but she'll figure something out." 

"Probably," the blond agreed. "But then, Reno says she hasn't been her usual knowing self lately. Maybe she _won't_ know how to deal with them." 

"She will," he said firmly. 

She handed him back the paper and sank down into a chair with a sigh. After a moment, she asked, "It's entirely too quiet, don't you think?" 

Rude raised an eyebrow. "Thinking of writing another letter asking Reno to come back?" 

Elena shot him a glare. "No, I am not." 

"Of course you aren't," he replied evenly. 

She sighed, giving up all pretense. "Oh, come on, you miss him, too, don't you?" 

He nodded. "But I'm not going to ask him to do things he doesn't want to do." 

"You're saying I'm being selfish?" 

Rude nodded again. 

She threw up her hands. "Oh, whatever. But... First we lost Tseng, and now Reno. It feels like I'm slowly losing all of you." 

"Relax, Elena," Reeve said, walking in and setting a plate down in front of her and another before Rude. "Neither of us is going anywhere anytime soon. And Reno will come back eventually." 

Frowning, she snatched up her fork. "I know. But eventually should be sooner." 

"I'll agree with you there," he replied, offering a sympathetic smile before returning to the kitchen to get his own plate.

* * *

She waited at the exit to the Forest, coaxing it to let the group of humans through. This one time, she would let strangers come so close to her home, because she had to speak with them, and she did not wish to leave this place. She belonged in it, and not one step beyond. Not until she had Sephiroth back. 

The party of bright-eyed scientists, historians, and archaeologists stepped out of the Forest, only a few catching sight of her right off, despite her black coat which must have contrasted harshly with the pale rock upon which she sat. 

"Please, don't go any farther," she bade them, and all eyes turned to her. 

"Why not?" one of them asked. 

"This is my City, my home, and I'd rather not have so many visitors." 

"This city belonged to the Ancients," another began, rather indignantly. 

"No, it belonged to the Cetra," Aeris corrected, "and if you're thinking that I have no claim over it, you're quite wrong because I am the last of the Cetra. I won't have you swarming all over my home when I came here for solitude." Her eyes shifted to a young man who might have been a scientist. "And I won't have you whisking me off to some laboratory either." 

"Ah..." a kindly-looking woman began hesitantly. "Miss, I think you misunderstand. We don't mean to intrude. If you show us where you live, we'll be sure never to bother you." 

"No, you misunderstand. This is my refuge, and you can't come in uninvited to disturb it." 

"Disturb what?" 

"The dead who have found rest here, the memories which have found haven, and myself. You say you won't bother me, but I know better. You'll ask for explanations, and these I will not give." 

"I still don't understand why we can't be allowed to have a look." 

"Because I haven't invited you," Aeris said. "Besides, you'll only get the wrong impressions and draw the wrong conclusions from whatever you find." 

The woman spoke up again. "Can't you allow anything, Miss?" 

She faltered. "There is a girl from Bone Village who is a friend of mine. She comes here fairly regularly, and she may be willing to tell you what she's learned from me. I'll mention you to her. Otherwise, you'll learn more if you travel to Cosmo Canyon." 

"Cosmo Canyon...?" 

The Cetra nodded. "Out of all peoples, they have come the closest to understanding the Cetra. Now, go back to your homes and leave mine be. If you come back a second time, perhaps I'll be kind enough to let you through the Forest again, but not a third time." 

"You control the Forest?" 

"No, but it seems to like me." 

"Can you at least tell us your name before we go?" 

"Aeris," she answered quietly. 

"Thank you." 

And they turned their backs on her and went back the way they had come. It surprised her that they would follow her commands with so little protest and accept her words without argument. Could it be that she still carried herself that convincingly? Could she still manage to say just the right thing? 

She closed her eyes. She wasn't sure whether she really cared if they scoured the City for clues on the 'Ancients' or not. But she thought that Sephiroth would have. For him, the place had held a special reverence, and she wanted to preserve that, for him. For Aeris, though, everything was dull without him.

* * *

This place really was enchanting; its spires stood black-roofed, built from a pale umber stone, perfectly smooth and curved. A thin mist lay on the violet-tinted water into which all the perfect towers sank, and from which a path of pillars led across to an altar whose broken railing stood as the only testament to neglect. Shards of glass encircled the place, and a crystalline stairway curved away upwards. 

Beyond the glass, there was nothing but void. Minerva had to wonder where exactly this place was, and how it could exist. It was certainly an enigma. 

She sat on the roof of the tallest spire, where Sephiroth had lain in wait for Aeris. It was an easy leap from here down through the encircling golden glass of the altar itself and onto the platform. Minerva knew that Aeris came here at night, too, whenever she had trouble sleeping. The Cetra would even kneel on the altar, hands clasped, eyes closed, as though she expected Sephiroth to come down and claim her life as he had seven years ago. Minerva did not know what to make of it. 

She herself only came to this place in particular because Reno and Delphine did not know about it. She sought solitude in coming here--not that she disliked their company, but she was not used to it. She needed time away from them every now and then, just to think. 

Her thoughts on this occasion kept drifting to Sephiroth and, ultimately, to Aeris's death, despite her attempts to guide them elsewhere. She thought she knew what was bothering her: she had watched it through Sephiroth's eyes, and seen the materia that had fallen from Aeris's hair and into the water. Its loss had gone unnoticed by Cloud's friends, and she had to wonder if it still remained. Surely if it did, Aeris would like to have it. 

Minerva shifted, leaning forward to peer into the water below, but the mist obscured her view, and so she got to her feet and dove. She slid into the water by the altar with hardly a sound, only the mists parting to show her entrance. She swam down to the bottom, scanning the rocky ground and ignoring the dancing light from the surface. 

It did not take her long to find what she sought, nestled in a little niche in the rock not far from one of the pillars. She grasped the tiny orb, enfolding it safely in her palm, and swam to the lowest platform, where she pulled herself from the water. 

A simple air spell dried her soaking hair and clothes and skin, and Minerva opened her hand to inspect her find. It was truly white now, and while it did not glow, it did catch the light and glitter a little. Strange, she thought, how something so small could summon something so great as Holy. 

She ascended from the isolated altar and made her way back to the shell house in which Aeris and Reno chose to sleep. There, she slowed to dead silence, not wanting to wake them. A turn of the knob, a climb up the ladder, and a few steps took her to Aeris's bedside. The Cetra lay on her side, half curled up with her hands loosely clasped near her face. 

Hesitating, Minerva bent down to slip the White Materia into her hands. That done, she turned from the room and crept outside to wait for daylight.

* * *

The only sound she could hear was that of rushing water to her right, strangely muted despite her close proximity to the fall. Aeris glanced towards the viewing platform where, when it was working, a tiny crystalline sphere set into the pedestal would project an image onto the screen of falling water. She had never seen it work, but Cloud had told her about it some years ago... 

Or had it been only a few months? It was getting hard to tell. She thought for a moment and decided on years. Two, probably. This was her fourth winter here. On recalling that, she noticed the cold for the first time and shivered, pulling her coat more tightly about herself. 

At least the winters were getting a bit warmer, she thought. That first winter, she would hardly have gone outside for pleasure. Or, rather, to seek solitude, for what kind of pleasure was this? 

She looked around the empty hall with its stonework arches and its staircases, its curving walls. What had this room been used for? Some sort of council? Aeris closed her eyes, and she could imagine a gathering of Cetra here, with a few up on this protrusion into the center where she sat. And whenever their ancestors had something to show them, they would all crowd onto the viewing platform to watch. 

Perhaps, she thought, it worked like the portal in the Temple of the Ancients. That part of her life seemed so vivid compared to now, a memory eight years old easier to recall than yesterday. She did not even need to close her eyes to picture what her ancestors had shown her in the Temple, images of Sephiroth attacking Tseng, laughing madly, raving about becoming one with the Planet... 

Although, that was not what she remembered most about that moment. She wondered if the others had felt it, his presence just behind them, as though he was looking over her shoulder, breathing down her neck. Had they seen that passing glance, that look of amusement? Had they seen that afterimage of him sinking into the still-glowing pool? Had they seen the sadness in his eyes behind the madness? 

No, of course not. How could they, blinded by anger, have seen or felt such things as those? And, she thought, perhaps he had meant those glimpses for her alone. She liked to think that he had. 

_Three years, four months, six days_, Aeris thought absently, and then she gave a little start. _Today would have been his birthday_, she realized. 

She leaned back on her hands, forgetting the cold. _He would have been thirty-eight. And me? How old am I? Nearly thirty?_ She had to laugh at herself. "Oh, Aeris, you're so old now. Imagine, thirty!" 

Her smile faded. She felt even older, though. How long would she wait? How many more years? 

Reno and Minerva had finally left a few months ago. Gone back to Junon where their friends were waiting. She was glad they had decided to get on with their lives. Delphine had left with them, intending to join her friend Katrina in Cosmo Canyon. 

And now Aeris was truly alone. She only kept track of the days now so that she would remember those birthdays and anniversaries she knew... and so that she would know how long she had been waiting, though why it mattered, she wasn't sure. 

"Oh, Planet," she sighed, "I wish I could talk to you, my friend. Ask you how Sephiroth is doing. Ask you how you're doing. Is the weather really warming? Is it because you're finally healing yourself? Will the snow in the Knowlespole finally melt come spring...?" 

Silence to answer her, as always. 

"No wonder it was worried," Aeris went on softly. "I didn't think I had come to rely on its presence that much. How did I ever manage in Midgar, with all those other voices drowning it out? With me trying _not_ to hear it, trying to be normal? Hmph. Who knows?" 

She sat up, drawing her legs up against her chest and wrapping her arms around them. "And now I'm talking to myself... Sephiroth, you had better come back soon, or I'll be stark raving mad by the time you get here!" 

There was no reply to her threat; she hadn't expected one. 

Aeris laughed softly. "I should head home," she told herself. "It won't do to be out in the cold for so long; I don't want to be sick on top of everything else." 

Slowly, she got to her feet and turned to walk back along the stone pathway out of the City's center. Here, the buildings were still nothing but ruins, but once she stepped out from under the great roof and onto the path of stone discs that stretched like a skeleton across the ground, she saw beauty lying dormant. The houses were well-kept, though worn by the wind, most with doors and some with newly-set round windows. 

Flower beds lay around them with drooping plants, their leaves curled up against the cold. Some looked dead, and there were bare patches of near-frozen earth, but Aeris knew in the spring, the City would burst with budding flowers and green shoots. She had even planted a few young trees, not yet half as tall as the buildings by which they stood. 

Perhaps she could have made all this blossom in the winter, too, but she felt too despondent to maintain anything beyond her vegetable garden. How could she help things grow when she herself was dying inside? 

As she continued slowly along the path, she started humming a sad tune to herself, barely realizing it. She opened the door to her house, closing it behind her with a muted but satisfying slam. It was just warm enough inside that she could take off her coat, though never did she really feel warm. 

Aeris hesitated, then opened the door to Sephiroth's room and stood on the threshold, studying his pale face. _Come back_, she prayed silently. _Please..._

* * *

She knelt beside the bed, elbows on the mattress, propping her head up. Her green eyes were dull, but not sightless; their gaze was fixed on the man lying lifeless before her. He lay atop the covers, hands folded across his chest, silver hair just a little tangled. If she blurred her vision a little, she could ignore the fact that his chest did not rise and fall and imagine that he was only sleeping. 

Aeris shook her head, rousing herself from the fantasy that he would wake any moment. A part of her had long since accepted that she would never again see him open his eyes, never again hear his voice, never again feel his arms around her. Only slight changes--or lack thereof--kept her ever hopeful. 

After all, if he was truly just a corpse now, wouldn't his body begin to decay at last? And what about the wounds that he had sustained? Not even scars now remained. 

She struggled to remember what date it was. November... 29th? No, 30th. 2056. So it had been over four years now, that she'd been waiting. She felt ghostlike--the sole inhabitant of this City, carrying on a shallow imitation of life. But hadn't she always pretended? What was a little longer? What further harm could one more day do to her? 

If only for him, she had to carry on. She did not want to give up on him, for what would he do if he awoke to find her dead? Could he manage to bring her back a second time? 

She lowered her head to rest it on the mattress, looking sideways at Sephiroth. Would he still remember her? Would he even want her? Even if he did, what would he make of the shell she had become? 

Kneeling here in this lonely house, Aeris did not feel as though she could return to what she had been. She had given her heart to a dead man, her soul she had lost in waiting for him, and the cold solitude had numbed her mind. She had nothing but a tattered, silly, impossible hope that he would come back, and that his return would somehow restore her. 

"Sephiroth..." The name came out in a faint murmur, scarcely more than a whisper. She barely recognized the voice as her own. "Where are you now? Has the Lifestream swallowed you? Have bits of your soul been joined with others to make a new soul; are you part of someone else now?" 

Aeris lifted her head, and her voice rose with it. "Or dare I hope that you're still vaguely conscious, maybe even thinking of me now? Will you wake tomorrow? Will you call my name? Oh, gods, just to hear your voice..." 

Her lashes lowered to hide her eyes. "If only I could call you back myself. If only they had all found it in themselves to forgive you. How? How could they have been so cruel? Didn't they see how good your soul was? Didn't they see how sincere your guilt was? Hadn't you already suffered enough?" 

Her voice dropped again. "...haven't I suffered enough? Planet, what did I do wrong? What words did they need to hear that I forgot to say? Why...?" 

Years ago, this kind of pain would have made her cry. It would have brought tears to her eyes, racked her body with stifled sobs. 

But Aeris had made a vow not to cry, not until Sephiroth returned. And now it seemed that that promise would hold her forever. No more tears. It was bad enough that her friends had to see her like this. They did not need to see her cry. 

She wondered how long it had been since anyone had last come to visit. Was anyone supposed to visit soon? Would she have to struggle even harder with her pretenses, put on the mask and costume of the cheerful little flower girl from all those years ago? 

She sat up slowly to give her appearance a cursory glance. Dishevelled hair, dirt-smeared clothing... She had forgotten to bathe recently, it seemed. The dress, at least, was forgivable; she wore it while gardening, and the dirt was to be expected. 

_So tired..._

Aeris gave a start, hardly daring to trust her senses. Her heart fluttered, and her eyes went immediately to Sephiroth's face. "Planet?" she breathed. 

_Healed, healed, but tired. So tired. Call sleep? Want sleep. Cannot. But so tired..._

"Healed, Planet?" she asked, trying not to sound as anxious as she felt; the Planet's attention was slipping away from her. 

_Me. Healed. Blessed feeling._

"And Sephiroth?" she persisted hopefully. Ever hopeful. 

_Tired. Give rest. Moment..._

Its presence faded, leaving her uncertain. She struggled to comprehend its clipped words. The Planet had healed itself; that much she could understand immediately, and she wished she could feel happy for it. She knew how marvelous it had to feel after having an open, bleeding wound for so long. 

But what about Sephiroth? It wanted rest. Maybe... maybe it meant that she should give it a 'moment' to rest before it focused its attention on him? Only a 'moment,' and she would have him back? But... how long was a moment, from the Planet's perspective? Normally it would use that term to convey exactly what a moment meant to _Aeris_, but if it was so tired that it could barely form intelligible thoughts, it may have reverted to thinking in its own terms. 

Meaning a 'moment' could be years. Decades at most. The thought filled her with despair. The hope which had flared so brightly was now little more than an ember. 

Aeris grasped at it, knowing that hope was all that kept her going, and that even this empty life was too precious to abandon. 

What if the Planet truly meant a moment? Even if it was longer than Aeris's definition, she knew she could wait for it. An hour was a moment to her anyway. A day would come and go and be forgotten all too easily. A week, she could do. A month, she could wait. A year, she could endure. A decade, she... 

No, perhaps not a decade, she conceded. But she knew she would try if she had to. 

Hours passed, her mind paying no attention to the hungry protests of her stomach, her eyes fixed on Sephiroth's face, waiting for that instant when his would open, oblivious to how long she had been sitting here, how many meals she had missed, how close morning was to coming around again. 

Finally, however, she nodded off, sinking into a heavy sleep with her arms draped across the bed, one hand laid on Sephiroth's and her cheek resting on the mattress.

* * *

Author's Notes  
The very first line is from a song Minerva wrote for Aeris in the original. I decided to cut it from this version 'cause... well, it's kind of bad. But I still like this line. The whole verse is "Now you stand tall/and only with you do I feel whole./Where in your eyes/did I lose my soul?" OMG it rhymes! le gasp! You know, honestly I'd forgotten that. 

The title is a reference to the nightmare Aeris had in the previous chapter. Also, as you've hopefully figured out, this chapter spans roughly four years. It's a little choppy, but there are some events that I wanted to write, and of course I had to check up on Aeris every now and then to show her slipping into this depression. 

I did cut a couple scenes from this. In one of them, Nanaki asked advice of Miera on how to handle his feelings for Yuffie... which was kind of silly considering he didn't really follow it. XP There was also a scene with Yuffie and Nanaki in Wutai in the fall. It had a lot of pretty imagery, but not much else. 


	42. Scarred

**Chapter 41: Scarred**

"After four years, I still can't fathom why she picked such a cold place," Tifa was saying, hugging herself for warmth. 

"And whose idea was it to visit her in the middle of winter?" Cloud asked. 

She shot him a look, and he grinned nervously. "I just thought someone should go check on her," she sighed. "She hasn't answered the last few times we called, and frankly, I've always been worried about her staying up here." 

He nodded his agreement, pulling her close to warm her up. "I know, I know. I'm worried, too. But maybe she's just been outside when we've called." 

"In winter?" 

Cloud shrugged. "Nobody wants to be cooped up inside for months, right?" 

"I guess not. But still..." 

"Look, here's her house," he interrupted, turning down a side path and pausing in front of the door. "It's probably nothing," he said, though he hardly felt sure of it. He knocked on the door. Louder. And louder. And louder still. He exchanged glances with Tifa. 

"Let's just go inside," she suggested hurriedly. "Maybe she didn't hear. Or maybe she's out." 

Cloud nodded and opened the door, stepping inside and looking around. "Aeris?" he called. "Aeris, are you home?" 

Silence. His worry growing, he started towards the living room to check there. 

"Cloud? Tifa?" The voice was so faint and cheerless that he hardly recognized it as Aeris's. 

Turning around, he saw her peeking out of a room to the left, the door pushed open only enough to reveal her face. 

"There you are!" Tifa exclaimed in relief. 

Aeris stepped out into the antechamber, closing the door behind her. She smiled, but her eyes held a hazy bewilderment. "I'm sorry. Were you looking for me?" 

"We've called a couple times, but you didn't answer," Cloud told her. "And I was knocking just now, but you didn't come to the door..." 

She dropped her gaze. "Nn." 

"Aeris, has something happened?" Tifa asked. 

The Cetra shook her head. "No, no, everything's fine. Here, let's go sit down." She turned just a little too eagerly to lead them into the living room. 

Cloud trailed behind, frowning. She looked terribly gaunt and pale, and her mannerisms were obviously a pretense. 

Tifa must have noticed it, too, for as soon as they were settled, she asked, "Have you been eating well? You don't look so good." 

"I don't? Hmm. Well, I guess I have been a bit forgetful lately, but I'm fine, really." 

The brunette eyed her critically, but decided to drop it. "So, have you just managed to miss our calls, or have you been ignoring us?" 

Aeris blinked at the accusation. "I must have missed them. I do go out sometimes; I have my gardens to tend, after all." 

"Have you... gotten any word about Sephiroth?" Cloud asked tentatively. 

At last she faltered. "I... The Planet spoke to me about a month ago, I think. It said that it had healed itself, and..." 

"And what?" 

"Never mind. It doesn't matter." 

"What do you mean it doesn't matter? Did it tell you anything about Sephiroth?" 

"Cloud..." Tifa began. 

Aeris smiled and shook her head. "Don't worry about it, guys. I think... Well, however it turns out, I'll be okay." 

Cloud regarded her dubiously. "But... you've been waiting so long..." 

"I can wait a little longer," she replied. 

"Is that what you tell yourself every day?" 

"I..." 

"Aeris, how long is 'a little longer'?" Tifa asked, picking up where Cloud had left off. "Isn't it about time you ended this isolation of yours?" 

Aeris dropped her gaze and folded her hands in her lap. "How can I?" she asked quietly. "How can I go on without him? That's why I've been waiting..." 

Tifa laid a hand on her shoulder. "But... what if he doesn't come back? What's the point of staying here if he doesn't come back?" 

The Cetra looked up sharply. "He promised me he'd come back, so I'm going to wait until he does." 

"But what if he doesn't?" 

"You don't understand," Aeris insisted. "I can't go back with you and try to live a normal life without him. I can't just mourn a little, heal, and move on. This wound is one only Sephiroth can mend. No amount of effort on my part will heal it, and I can't pretend otherwise." 

"Have you tried getting over him?" Tifa persisted. 

"Tifa," Cloud sighed, "if she's made up her mind, nothing we say will change it. I know it, you know it, we all know it." 

The Cetra smiled faintly. "That's right. I've always been stubborn, haven't I?" 

"...and you always get your way eventually," Tifa added with a sigh. 

"Nn. What time is it anyway?" 

"Early afternoon," Cloud answered. 

"Have you eaten? I'm fairly certain I haven't. I could make us something..." 

"Yes, that would be nice," Tifa said. "Do you need any help?" 

Aeris shook her head. "Oh, no, not at all. I'll be right back." 

Cloud watched her go and then turned to Tifa. "You're right; she doesn't look so good. I really wish we _could_ convince her to leave this place. It's not good for her to be alone like this." 

"No, it isn't," she agreed. "But she's too stubborn. We'd have to carry her away in a sack." 

"...do you really think the Planet will revive him eventually?" he asked. 

She shook her head. "I don't know, but I'm almost starting to think that Aeris only made that up to comfort herself." 

"Well, his body isn't rotting or anything," Cloud pointed out. 

"No, it isn't, but does that really mean anything?" 

He shrugged. 

Tifa sighed. "In any case, I wish we could stay here more than a few days, to keep her company and at least cheer her up a little." 

"Me, too, Teef. Me, too."

* * *

She sat down on the edge of his bed with a sigh. They were so worried about her. They wanted her to go back with them, to get over him. Did it hurt them to know she was here alone? Did it hurt them to come here and find her so distant? 

Aeris ran her fingers along Sephiroth's cold cheek. "Would it be so impossible to try?" she asked him. "To wait for you among friends instead of alone? And maybe, I could hold up a little better with them to help me. Maybe they wouldn't be so worried if they could..." 

She shook her head. "No. I can't let them see me like this all the time. Come on, Aeris, be strong. Be strong..." Her voice caught in her throat. _No... No, no, no, no! No tears. Don't cry. I won't cry. I can't cry. No tears..._

Sliding down to the floor, she curled up into a ball against the side of the bed. _I won't cry. Just breathe. Just breathe..._

A knock sounded at the door, and she gave a start, looking up with wide eyes. 

"Aeris, can I come in?" Cloud called. 

_No, please don't..._

"Aeris?" 

_I can't... Oh, please, don't come in. I can't pretend right now. Don't, don't, don't._

Slowly, he pushed open the door, his deep blue eyes widening in concern when he saw her on the verge of tears. "Aeris, are you all right?" 

"I-I... I..." she faltered. She took a deep breath, tried to pull herself together, failed. 

He lingered a moment in the doorway out of confusion before hurrying over to her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong? What's happened?" 

Aeris looked down, away from the compassion in his eyes, and took another breath. "I was just... thinking..." _No tears._ "I'm such a fool," she went on. "None of you... wanted me to do this, did you? You all thought it was a bad idea. You thought I should have moved on, should have gotten over him..." 

"That's what we thought," Cloud agreed slowly, nodding, "but none of us knows you well enough to see inside your head and figure out what you need." 

She shook her head repeatedly, slightly at first, then more vehemently. "I could have had someone else, couldn't I? I could've fallen in love again, like Sephiroth wanted me to. He wanted me to forget about him, did you know? And I probably could, too, if I really tried, but I don't want to, Cloud. I don't want to..." 

"It's hard to let go," he agreed. "You must've loved him a lot, though, to wait this long for him to come back. But... what _did_ the Planet tell you about him? Did it--?" 

"No," Aeris interrupted. "It didn't say it couldn't bring him back. That's just the thing. It only told me that it had healed itself, that it was tired, and to give it a moment... A moment...! But, how long is a moment from a planet's point of view?" 

She looked up at him, green eyes bright now with anger rather than sorrow. "Don't you see? What a fool I am, to hope that I would have him back! I could've had anyone, anyone, but I chose a corpse! I would rather wait forever for a _corpse_ than move on with my life! Such a fool, a godsdamned fool..." 

Cloud reached out and pulled her into his arms. "You're not a fool, Aeris. You loved him, and the Planet gave you hope that you could be with him again. I thought... I thought I heard it tell me I could have you back, too, just after Meteor. That's why I waited at first." 

"But you didn't wait this long," she whispered. "You got over me. Oh, gods... Please, Cloud, tell me how you did it..." _Don't cry. Oh, gods, don't cry..._

"I _didn't_ get over you," he answered. "Not until you came back and showed me just how stupid I was to cling to your memory. I only moved on because Tifa needed me. And... I hate to admit it, but I don't think I loved you as much as you love Sephiroth." 

Aeris pulled back from his embrace, daring to look into his eyes. "Then what am I supposed to do? There's no one who needs me like Tifa needed you." 

"Maybe not, but we'd all love to have you around again. This isolation isn't doing anyone any good." 

She sighed and glanced to her right, towards Sephiroth. "I... I don't know. I know you're right, but... I don't know." 

Cloud offered her a sympathetic smile. "You don't have to decide right now. Just think about it, okay?" 

Aeris nodded. "I will." 

He stood up slowly. "You think you'll be all right by yourself?" 

"Yes, I think so," she answered steadily. "Go on and get some sleep." 

Starting for the door, he faltered and turned back, glancing around the room. "You said you slept in here, but... There's only..." 

"I'll... I'll spend just one more night down here," Aeris told him. "Just one more." 

Cloud nodded. "Good night..." 

"Good night." 

She watched him leave, then closed her eyes and leaned against the bed. "I didn't cry, Sephiroth," she whispered. "I didn't cry."

* * *

"Aeris, are you awake?" 

Her eyes snapped open, and she sat up. "Sephiroth?" she asked hopefully. But as sleep retreated from her mind, she found that it was only Cloud, standing uncertainly by her bed. She stared blankly at him, not wanting to trust her eyes. 

"Aeris...?" he faltered. 

She shook her head, remembering where she was and finding words again. "I dreamt that he came back to me," she murmured. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't worry about it," he told her. "Anyway, Tifa made breakfast this morning, since you seemed to be sleeping so well." 

Aeris frowned. "Again? I'm such a terrible hostess, aren't I?" She slid out of bed, straightening her rumpled skirt. She had forgotten to change into her nightgown yet again, but she did bother to make her bed before accepting the plate Cloud offered her. 

"I suppose Tifa's a better cook than I am anyway," she said, though she'd lost all preference for the taste of food. 

"Oh, I'm not that much better," Tifa amended as she took a seat next to Cloud on the bed opposite Aeris's. 

The Cetra shook her head in disagreement, but did not care to argue her point. She cleaned her plate and set it aside, avoiding their gazes. They were going to ask now. They had asked each morning for the past three days, and each morning she had answered the same. They were wearing her down, though. She felt guilty for keeping them here, and she doubted they would leave without her. 

"Have you decided yet?" Tifa asked softly. "I... I don't mean to seem so impatient, but..." 

"I understand," Aeris said. "And..." She hesitated, looking around the room as though seeking some kind of sanction. This house had been her home for the past four years, but perhaps it was time she left it behind. "I think I'll go," she said at last. "But... not today, if that's all right with you." 

Her friend smiled, looking relieved. "Is tomorrow all right?" 

She nodded. "Yes, tomorrow's fine..." 

Tifa stood, stepping forward to take her empty plate. "I'll go clean up," she said, disappearing into the kitchen. 

"You're sure about this?" Cloud asked when she had gone. 

"Yes," she answered. "I guess it's about time I started being sensible. I'll still wait for him, of course, but I'll try to live while I'm waiting." 

"That's all we're asking you to do." 

"Do you think Yuffie would mind me staying with her?" Aeris asked thoughtfully. "We... Sephiroth and I had decided to go there after everything was over." 

"To Wutai?" Cloud asked, incredulous. 

Aeris nodded. "He wanted to atone for what he'd done there when he worked for Shinra. He was always trying to make up for what he did... He thought it was all he _could_ do." 

"So you're going to try to help in his stead?" 

"If Yuffie can find any use for me, yes." 

"Even if she can't," Cloud considered, "I think she'll like having you around." 

"Wutai's pretty, too," she added absently. 

"Yeah..." 

She got to her feet. "I'm... going to head downstairs." 

Cloud hesitated. "All right." 

Smiling faintly for him, Aeris turned and went down the ladder, entering the room where Sephiroth lay and closing the door behind her. Yuffie probably wouldn't appreciate having a corpse in her house--or at least, her father wouldn't--but they would work something out, she supposed. 

She walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge. She wondered if this city would fade again, becoming nothing more than ruins once she had gone. It was a pity, really, but one Cetra could only accomplish so much. She had known from the start that reviving this place would be a failed project. 

_Friend, may I ask your help?_

Aeris started. "Yes, Planet," she said eagerly. "Of course you may. It's wonderful to hear from you again. Are you rested now?" 

_Yes, somewhat. But I am confused..._

"About what?" 

_This matter of reviving a person. Is so very different from granting spirit energy to a new life; do not supply the life for that, only the soul. Do you see my dilemma?_

She blinked. "You... you want to know how to revive Sephiroth?" she asked, scarcely daring to believe it. And here she had been about to give up! 

_Yes. I cannot figure out how to do it. Perhaps am still too tired to learn anything more. I have been doing so many strange things lately._

"Indeed, you have, friend," Aeris agreed. "But... do you mean to say that you've cleansed him of the Jenova?" 

_I have. Only just finished a day ago, and was pondering how to revive him. I am at a loss._

Her heart leapt joyfully. "Then... could I just... do it myself?" 

_If you want. But I know how tired it makes you..._

"It doesn't matter," she insisted fervently. "I don't care what it does to me. I just want him back." 

_Then go ahead. I will see what I can do to help you._

"Thank you, thank you, thank you...!" she cried, swiftly taking up Sephiroth's lifeless hand, closing her eyes, and plunging into the Lifestream, searching, searching. It seemed she found his soul right away, and it was indeed very beautiful, if scarred. She embraced it without hesitation, embracing with it his memories and his pain, and in some part of her, she noticed the Planet's acute attention, as though it were feeding her energy. 

She could see herself through his eyes in those final moments, hear her own words faintly as through a haze, feel the love that had made him give his life for her, and the sharp regret he had felt in leaving her. She could feel in him, too, that self-hatred and condemnation, the heavy guilt he carried, and at the same time the tiniest bit of hope, a hope that she had brought him. 

His soul seemed to respond to her touch, and she drew it easily back to his body, working swiftly to bind him there, feeding him the energy that the Planet had sent flowing in her, pouring her whole heart into this work as though she had nothing else--and indeed she felt she did not. He was her support, her anchor, her best friend, her everything. And it was because of her that he had died. 

At last Aeris opened her eyes and looked down at him. _Oh, please..._ His lashes fluttered, and suddenly she found herself staring into his beautiful blue-green eyes, nearly losing herself in them. He stared back in disorientation. 

_There_, the Planet sighed, bringing her back to herself. _I did what I could._

"Thank you, friend," she whispered, now returning her full attention to Sephiroth. 

A smile spread across her face, and she used all of her will not to embrace him and tell him how much she had missed him, how much she had worried about him, how much she loved him. "You've finally come back to me," she said, unable to hide the quaver in her voice. 

He looked back at her blankly. "What... do you mean?" he asked in confusion. The hand she held twitched, and, sensing his discomfort, she let it go, her smile fading a little. 

"You... you were dead for four years," she explained, the quaver growing. "I was... beginning to worry..." 

He did not reply, and his eyes showed no recognition. 

"I'm Aeris," she whispered desperately. 

"Aeris..." he repeated. 

"Don't you remember me?" she asked, the tears four years denied threatening to escape her glistening eyes. 

Sephiroth closed his eyes as though tired, and there followed a long silence. She bit her lip and swallowed hard to hold back the sobs in her throat, though she could no longer stop the tears sliding down her cheeks. 

"I'm sorry, Aeris," he murmured finally, and she did not know what to make of his words or his tone of voice, so she waited. Only a few more moments. She could wait moments. "It... it is always hard for me to remember things early on. I did not mean to worry you." 

"Then you...?" 

He opened his clear blue eyes to meet her anxious gaze and smiled faintly. "How could I ever forget you? I am ashamed that I did not recognize you, even for a moment." 

The smile returned to her face, but her sobs were not forgotten, and she fell across him, crying into his shoulder. He put an arm around her, holding her close, and it was that warmth, that security, that she had longed for, been so desperate for, all those years. She could not speak, only cry in joy, in the release from a lonely pain ever-present in her heart and grown to a nearly unbearable pitch. 

Sephiroth said nothing, only held her close, one hand gently stroking her hair. 

Finally her sobs died down to soft hiccups, and she pulled back from him in embarrassment. "I'm sorry," she apologized hoarsely. "I didn't mean to be so emotional." 

He shook his head. "I understand. Four years, you say?" 

She nodded. "Four years, three months, and twenty-four days," she whispered. 

He stared at her with something like horror, then closed his eyes in shame. "I am sorry..." 

"It's not your fault," she said. "I... I'm just glad you're finally back." 

"Were you... waiting for me all that time?" 

"Yes." 

Sephiroth opened his eyes again, and there was empathy there, sorrow for all the pain he had caused her and a wish that it had never happened. "How long were you going to wait?" 

"Forever," she answered. "Even though just now I'd decided to leave here, but only to wait elsewhere. Cloud and Tifa were worried about me. Everyone else probably is, too. But there's no one else for me, no one else I would rather have." 

He sat up and moved to embrace her, pulling her back into his lap, and she huddled against him, trying to convince herself that this wasn't just some wonderful dream, that she would never wake from it. 

"Hasn't there been anyone to comfort you lately?" he wondered in distress. "Where are your friends who love you so much? Where are Reno and Minerva?" 

Aeris shook her head. "They stayed the first three years, but they had their own lives ahead of them. So did everyone else. They all had someone to be with, or somewhere to be going, or something to get done. Me, I couldn't move on without you. You... you promised you'd come back. Certainly, they visited from time to time to check up on me. And I told them I was fine." 

"You always were good at pretending," he remarked sadly. 

"Not so good lately," she amended. "Cloud and Tifa came by a few days ago, and I broke down. They've stayed with me since then, hoping to help me move on, but I only agreed to leave here, not to let you go... And I was right; you did come back." 

He pulled her closer. "Yes, I am here now, and I will never leave your side unless you order me to go." 

"I won't," she said with an echo of fierceness in her voice. "Never." 

Sephiroth smiled. "I am glad." 

Aeris hugged him tightly, content now to simply be with him and hear his heart beating, to rejoice in the rhythm of it, the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest, and the feel of his arms around her. 

"...so this is the City of the Ancients?" he asked after a time, she did not know how long. It could have been hours, or mere seconds, and she would not have been able to tell the difference. 

"Yes," she answered simply, looking up into his face, watching as his gaze wandered the room. 

"Did your friends help you to remodel this house?" he wondered. 

"This one, yes," Aeris replied, "but there are others that I've rebuilt over the years..." 

"I did not think you a carpenter," he said with mild amusement. 

"Anyone who grew up in the slums knew how to make something out of nothing," she told him. She sat up a little, and he loosened his embrace, though she did not feel any less secure. "I'll have to show you what I've done with the place," she went on, face brightening with eagerness. "It doesn't look nearly so dead now, and I planted gardens. _Gardens_, Sephiroth! Oh, they were such a comfort to me, always fresh and clean as though they were smiling just for me." 

He tilted his head at her. "This is a bit far north for flowers, isn't it?" 

"No," she said, a smile spreading across her face. "And if I could grow flowers in the Midgar slums, I can grow them here. I planted them everywhere. And there's so much to tell you...!" 

Sephiroth nodded. "After four years, I expect there would be." 

"Nn!" she exclaimed with a start. "We should tell Cloud and Tifa. And call the others. They'll be overjoyed to hear that you're back, and Minerva and Reno can finally get married." 

"You mean they were actually waiting for me?" he asked in surprise. 

"Of course," Aeris replied. "They didn't want you to miss their wedding." Her smile softened and she lifted a hand to his face. "And we can have ours, too, can't we?" 

"I suppose we can," he agreed, briefly returning the smile. After a pause, he asked almost cautiously, "So, I am free of Jenova now?" 

"Yes, you are." 

He let out a sigh of release. "Will you teach me how to hear the Planet?" 

"Oh, yes, I told you I would, didn't I? But right now I only want to..." She trailed off, looking boldly into his eyes. "I love you, Sephiroth." 

She gave him enough time to answer with "I love you, too" before she reached up and kissed him. How many years she had longed for this moment! she thought, leaning into him and praying that this moment would not end. 

It was Sephiroth who eventually drew back, regarding her with an almost boyish shyness. 

Aeris laughed softly. "Strange, isn't it, how I can have more experience in something than you?" 

He shook his head slightly, playing absently with her hair. "You know friendship and love are both fairly new to me..." 

"Well, you catch on quickly enough." 

With a playful grin, he bent down to kiss her again. 

"Aeris, I made lu--" 

The two broke apart and turned to look at Tifa as she stopped speechless in the doorway. 

Aeris smiled broadly. "Tifa, look! He's awake! Isn't it wonderful?" 

The brunette nodded dumbly, staring at Sephiroth. At length she shook herself and smiled back at Aeris. "Well... I guess you were right. I'm not sure what to say. Congratulations? Thank the gods? Or, rather, thank the Planet..." 

"It doesn't matter," the Cetra said, leaning against Sephiroth, who kept one arm firmly about her, though he seemed uncomfortable under Tifa's gaze. "I'm just glad he's back." 

After a moment she straightened, realizing Tifa had come here for a reason. "What were you saying before?" 

"Oh, I made lunch for us," Tifa replied. 

She had not known that much time had passed. "All right. We'll be up in a minute. We were having an important discussion, right, Seph?" she asked, winking playfully at him. 

"Right," the swordsman confirmed. 

Tifa fidgeted. "Well... I'll go and tell Cloud." That said, she turned and disappeared through the doorway. 

"'Important discussion'?" Sephiroth queried with a smirk once she had gone. 

"Yes, very important. There's a lot we haven't 'said' over the past four years, isn't there?" 

He shook his head slightly. "It is hard to long for that sort of thing when you lack a body." 

"Oh?" she wondered. "Well, it doesn't matter. _I_ have something very important to say." And with that, she pulled him down to claim his mouth in another kiss.

* * *

Author's Notes  
And we have a happy ending after all! Only... it keeps going! XD I really had too much I wanted to do with this story. I wasn't content to just leave it up to the readers' imaginations. Ah well. I'm sure you guys appreciate the fact that there's more, right? Right. 

No big changes here, really. Just a lot of minor things. Like in the original, Cloud and Tifa had a two-year-old son who was mentioned all of twice, maybe thrice, and never named. XD Yeah, I decided that got in the way more than anything else, so I got rid of it. 

Oh! And whoever can find the sentence that's repeated almost verbatim from an earlier chapter gets a cookie. 3 


	43. No Longer Needed

**Chapter 42: No Longer Needed**

Sephiroth marvelled at the changes that had been made to the house as he followed Aeris to the upper level. The additions blended perfectly with the original style, and he could only assume that they did on the outside as well. 

Tifa had made a fairly simple vegetable stew, and when she uncertainly offered him a bowl, he found himself _hungry_ for the first time that he could remember. Both Cloud and Tifa watched him silently, still trying to process the news that he was, in fact, alive. Strange how they had seemed to adjust so quickly when they had still thought him their enemy. 

Aeris was silent, too, as she ate, seeming content simply to sit beside him, but Sephiroth could tell that the four years had scarred her. He wished there was something he could do, hoped there was something, but for now, having him back would have to be enough for her. 

"So... what are you going to do now?" Tifa asked once they had all finished. 

"I guess we could go around and pay everyone a visit," Aeris mused. "Or maybe we could invite everyone up here." She cast Sephiroth a grin. "Your birthday's in less than two weeks, you know." 

He blinked. "It is?" 

She nodded. "On the 19th of January." 

Tifa laughed. "So what, you're going to throw him a birthday party?" 

"I could," Aeris mused. "But then, I guess I shouldn't have it here. Too cold for most people, I think." 

"Especially for Tifa," Cloud put in. 

"So I'm used to Costa del Sol weather, so what?" she demanded defensively. 

He grinned. "Well, I guess we could have it back home, couldn't we? The bar's big enough." 

"I could close it for a day," Tifa considered. "What do you think, Aeris?" 

"Yes, that would probably work," the Cetra said, nodding to herself. She turned then to Sephiroth. "More importantly, what do _you_ think? It'll be your party, after all." 

"Do whatever you like, Aeris," he told her. "It does not matter to me so long as you're there." 

"You're easy to please," she remarked. "So we'll invite everyone to a party at your place in Costa del Sol, Tifa. But until then, I think we'll stay here. I want to show Sephiroth what I've done here and, well, have some time alone with him." 

The brunette nodded. "All right. Cloud and I should be able to catch the afternoon ship to Junon and get home tomorrow." 

"How about Sephiroth and I join you on the 17th?" 

"Okay," Tifa agreed, getting up to collect the dishes. 

"Oh!" Aeris cried, hopping up. "Here, Tifa, let me help you; you've been doing so much for me these past few days, and you're supposed to be my guest." 

The two women disappeared into the kitchen, and Sephiroth stared after them. 

"It's good to see her smiling again," Cloud said. 

The swordsman looked back at him, not sure what to say to this. 

"I hope you realize how depressed she was while you were gone." 

"You think I can't see how much the wait hurt her?" Sephiroth demanded, not liking the other man's tone. "Some wounds she has cannot be healed simply by my presence." 

The blond glanced towards the kitchen. "She was calling herself a fool the other day, for waiting this long. I find it pretty amazing she managed to hold up for so long." 

"What are you getting at?" 

Cloud looked back at him. "I just want to make sure you know how devoted she's been to you. I mean, I knew she was stubborn, but I didn't know she was _this_ stubborn. She didn't want anything to do with life until you got back. Do you realize how special she is? Do you know what you've got?" 

Sephiroth nodded solemnly. "An angel, I know. I will do my best to mend her wings, but I am not like her; I do not know exactly what bothers her, and I cannot always find the right words. I can only try." 

"I guess that's all I can ask. Just take care of her, and don't die again." 

He smirked. "I don't plan on it any time soon." 

Tifa returned from the kitchen and planted her fists on her hips. "Come on, Cloud. I thought you'd be packing by now." 

The blond hopped up, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry, Teef. It doesn't take that long to pack, though." 

Sephiroth watched Tifa push her husband around, the two of them laughing, then quietly got up and went to the kitchen to find Aeris humming to herself as she dried the dishes. He leaned against the doorframe, content to watch her work. 

She finally turned around, noticing him with a start. She laughed then, a hand to her bosom. "Gods, I forgot how quiet you were. How long have you been standing there?" 

He shrugged. "Only a few minutes." 

"Say something next time," she told him, taking him by the hand as she reentered the bedroom. 

Cloud and Tifa had finished gathering what belongings they had brought and stood with their bags slung over their shoulders. "Well, we're off," Tifa said with a smile. "I'm really, really happy for the two of you." 

"Same here," Cloud added. "We'll see you again soon." 

Aeris nodded, waving with her free hand. "See you." 

The couple disappeared downstairs and out the door, closing it behind them with a muted slam. 

The swordsman turned back to Aeris. "Would now be a good time for you to show me what you've done with this place?" he asked. 

She dropped her gaze, blushing. "I just realized how long it's been since I've taken a bath," she confessed. "Would you mind if I...?" 

"Not at all," he replied. 

She brightened, rushing off to pull some clean clothes out of a drawer. "I'll be quick, I promise. I just... I always thought I'd be more presentable when you finally came back, and look at me!" 

Sephiroth looked her over. True, her clothes were wrinkled and her hair tangled, but what did that matter? "You're still beautiful," he told her. 

"I suppose I'm asking the wrong man, aren't I? You'd say that no matter how I looked." 

"Most likely," he agreed, then blinked in confusion as she climbed down the ladder and went for the door. 

Aeris paused, glancing back up at him through the opening in the floor. "It isn't as though I have running water here," she explained. "I have to bathe in the lake." She waggled a finger at him, noticing his thoughtful expression. "Don't you even _think_ of watching me." 

"I'm not Reno," he reminded her. "I was only... Isn't the water freezing this time of year?" 

"The lake waters are strange," she said. "They're hardly warm, but they're never freezing either." Shaking her head, she flashed him a quick smile before she turned out the door. "I'll be back soon." 

He stood motionless for a moment, staring absently at the closed door. Then he turned and looked around. All three of the beds in the room were made up neatly enough, but several books lay strewn carelessly on the floor. 

Most of them were novel-sized, but one that lay open with a pen stuck in its pages looked like her journal. Another was very thin, like a children's book. Had he felt comfortable looking through her belongings, he might have gone to investigate, but instead he climbed down the ladder to have a look around downstairs. 

The living room was more unkempt than the rest of the house, with the couch's pillows cast on the floor, a thick blanket rumpled up in one corner, and more books scattered about the room. Sephiroth wondered if she had slept down here at times, and the thought occurred to him that perhaps she had cried herself to sleep; he hoped that she hadn't. 

He glanced out the window, and the view captured his gaze. It faced north, and he recognized the path; he had taken it to continue his journey to the Northern Crater after he had killed Aeris... 

Tearing his gaze away from that view, he left the room and continued out the door into the cold. And he found that it truly was _cold_. He could not recall feeling so affected by the temperature. The Planet had certainly changed him. 

"Are you satisfied, Narsa?" he muttered under his breath. "All the rest of you who condemned me to this, are you satisfied? You made Aeris suffer my punishment." 

He sighed, sitting down by the door and wrapping his arms around his knees. For him, it had been an indeterminable time in the Lifestream in a dreamlike state of mind. For her, it had been over four long years of waiting, waiting, waiting... He wished he could have traded places with her. He wished he could have at least talked with her, as he had from the Promised Land. 

But no. He had been powerless. Helpless. Useless. 

And now, how could he possibly heal her? He wasn't like her. He couldn't see a wound for what it was and know exactly how to mend it. It was easier for him to hate, to grow angry at those ignorant fools who had caused her suffering, and at himself for having been unable to prevent it. 

But Aeris would not want that. She would not want him to be angry at himself, or to hate anyone, so he took a deep breath and exhaled his fury. 

Surely there was something he could do now that he was alive again. Surely he could make it up to her. But how? 

He lifted his head to see her practically running along the path, gaze downcast to make certain she did not trip. Her dirty clothes were draped over one arm, and he recognized the dress she wore from the party at Cosmo Canyon which did not seem like so long ago to him. She wore a heavy black coat over it, the one that Minerva had bought her, and as always a black ribbon was tied around her slender neck. 

Sephiroth stood as she approached the house and came to a halt in front of him. 

"Why are you waiting outside?" she asked after catching her breath. "Or does the cold still not bother you?" 

"I feel it just as you do now," he replied, "but I can still manage to ignore it." He opened the door and ushered her inside. "You, however, must be freezing with your hair soaking wet." 

Aeris nodded, walking inside, and he followed her in, closing the door against the cold. She went up to her bedroom to put away the clothes she carried, then shook her head at herself. "I could probably dry it, couldn't I? Silly me. I was growing forgetful before, and I'm no better now." She cast a mild wind spell that ran through her hair and took the water from it, leaving it dry and shining. 

"Warmer now?" Sephiroth asked her. 

Instead of answering, she turned to him and slipped her arms around his waist. When he returned the embrace, she murmured, "Now I am." 

He was content to hold her for as long as she wanted. If it felt this good to hold her in his arms again, he could only guess at how good it felt for her, having gone without for so long. 

Strangely, though, it was Aeris who pulled back, looking up at him thoughtfully. "Hmm. Short sleeves will never do in this weather," she decided. "But I don't have a coat for you..." 

"I'll be all right," he told her. 

She shook her head. "No, you need _something_... Oh!" She snatched up a blanket from her bed and thrust it at him. "Here." 

Sephiroth blinked, eyeing the blanket doubtfully before shrugging and wrapping it around his shoulders. Whatever made her happy. 

Aeris nodded in satisfaction and led him back outside. "Come on. I'll show you the other houses and the lake and the council room. A-and maybe..." She trailed off. 

He knew what she had been considering--the altar. And he wasn't certain he was ready to go back there yet. "The council room?" he queried, taking her hand and keeping pace at her side. 

"Well, that's what I've come to call it anyway," she explained. "It looks like they may have used it for meetings. There's a viewing fall in the center, sort of like the one in the Temple..." 

Sephiroth nodded. "I remember it." 

She glanced up at him. "I've spent a lot of time in there. I like the sound of the water." 

He smiled faintly, dropping slightly behind her. 

Aeris stopped abruptly and turned to face him. "That reminds me... I wanted to give you this." She held out her hand, and in it lay a white orb, the size of a materia or perhaps even smaller. 

"...the White Materia?" he faltered. 

"Yes." 

"But Aeris, it is yours to care for, as a Cetra." 

She laughed softly. "You're a Cetra, too, Sephiroth. Or did you forget?" 

"But..." 

She took his hand and placed the orb in his palm. "Keep it. I don't need it anymore." 

He studied it in his palm, marvelling at how the winter sunlight played off its smooth white surface. "It's so small," he breathed. 

"What did you expect?" she asked. 

He closed his fingers around the materia, but did not raise his head. "Compared to the Black Materia, I mean..." 

Aeris leaned forward to peer up into his face. "A temple can only be compressed so much." 

Sephiroth looked back at her. "I suppose so. And good things aren't always very big, are they?" he asked, tracing her jaw with one finger. 

She reached up to give him a light kiss. "I'll have you know I'm five foot three," she said, "and that's not _that_ short." 

He chuckled, shaking his head at her. "Compared to six foot one, it is," he replied. "Now, weren't you going to show me this council room?" 

"Yes, yes, I was. Come on." She took up his hand again and led him down the path, laughter in her voice, a smile on her lips, and a bounce in her step.

* * *

Sector 5 surprised him with its order. He had expected rubble, but aside from some huge crumbling structures and jagged slabs of concrete which must have been immovable, it seemed almost empty. It must have been the first to be cleared up. 

A little ways into the town, Sephiroth noticed a graveyard, filled with countless slender markers, very few with names printed on them. Probably there had been more bodies recovered than people to identify them. Not far from the graveyard was a small church, around which a few tiny homes had been erected, and he glanced at Aeris to verify that this was the place she wanted to show him. She nodded and pushed open the door with a smile, beckoning him inside. He took a few steps forward and stopped, astonished. 

White light streamed down from somewhere in the high ceiling to illuminate a bed of golden flowers growing where the floorboards had been pried up some time ago. The yellow petals glowed in the light, brighter even than the stained glass windows running down either side of the church. An unadorned altar stood plainly beyond the flowers, openly conceding to their greater brilliance. It did not seem strange in the slightest that they were growing in the midst of winter. 

Sephiroth found himself staring. He had never set foot in a church before, never imagined one could be so breathtaking. "It is beautiful, Aeris," he managed. 

"You think so?" she asked, walking ahead of him and turning in a slow circle to view the whole church. "Of course, someone must have fixed it up while I was gone. So many of the beams and windows were broken or shattered." 

Aeris stopped in the sunlight, a grin spreading across her face as she looked upwards. The sun hit her face, made her pale skin glow white, and highlighted strands of hair, making them seem as threads of gold and copper. Her green eyes sparkled in the light. 

He was dimly aware that she was speaking. "The skylight used to be a hole in the ceiling, you know. Cloud made it when he fell through the roof." She laughed and turned back to him, tilting her head in amusement when she saw his expression. 

Sephiroth started. "Hmm?" 

She shook her head dismissively. "Why are you still standing by the door anyway? Come on in. You're quite welcome here." 

He glanced around. "But this is--" 

"A holy place?" Aeris walked back to him to take his hand. "Why do you always feel like you don't belong in places like this, Sephiroth?" 

"For the same reasons I used to think I did not belong with you," he replied. "I suppose I should feel more comfortable here since you accepted me a long time ago. Still..." 

"You're just not used to being in places like this," she assured him. She looked him over and bit back a laugh. "Or maybe it's the black. You do look a little out of place." 

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow. "What, you think I should wear white instead?" 

Aeris regarded him speculatively. "You probably _would_ look good in white, but then again, black does seem to suit you somehow." 

He shrugged, studying her face for as long as he could without being accused of staring before he let his gaze wander the church. 

"Are you ready to meet Mom?" she asked after a moment. 

"I think I would like to have a closer look at your flowers first," he said, letting go her hand and striding to the sunlit flower bed. 

"Nervous?" she wondered, trailing after. 

He crouched down beside the yellow blossoms. "Why should I be nervous?" 

"Well, she does act more like a normal mother than Ifalna," Aeris said. "She didn't approve of my liking _Cloud_ even. She probably won't like you first off... But I want her to understand how happy I'll be with you, so I can't avoid introducing you." 

Sephiroth nodded without looking up at her where she stood. "I understand. You do not want her to worry about you the same way your friends once did." 

She dropped down beside him, head bent to study her flowers. "That's right." 

"Did you tell her we were coming?" 

"I asked Barret to let her know, so hopefully I won't end up startling her like when last I dropped by." She glanced at him. "Are you ready to go?" 

"Just a moment," he murmured. He reached out, gently breaking the stem of one golden blossom and handing it to her. "This would look lovely in your hair." 

Aeris smiled, taking the flower and deftly braiding it into a section of her hair so that the yellow petals brushed against her cheek. It did indeed look lovely. Sephiroth stood and offered his hand to help her to her feet, but she again took the lead as they walked from the church through the salvaged buildings of Sector 5. 

He was startled again by the simple beauty of Elmyra's house. It did not look as though it belonged in the slums, but with all the golden blossoms surrounding it, he had no doubt that it was the house where Aeris had grown up. 

She led him to the door and knocked with her free hand. 

The woman who answered appeared to be in her fifties, with streaks of grey in her tight bun of brown hair and wrinkles in the corners of her brown eyes. She was nothing remarkable, but she did indeed look motherly. 

"Hello, Aeris," she greeted warmly enough, but her eyes slipped to Sephiroth, and a frown came to her face. 

"Hi, Mom," Aeris replied, ignoring the disapproving look. "This is Sephiroth. Sephiroth, this is Elmyra Gainsborough, my mother." 

He bowed his head respectfully. "I am pleased to meet you, Mrs. Gainsborough." 

She hesitated, almost disappointed that she could find nothing inappropriate with his behavior so far. "Come on in, both of you," she said finally, ushering them inside and closing the door behind them. "Can I get you anything?" 

"No, thanks; we're fine," Aeris answered. "How have you been, Mom?" 

"All right, save for worrying about you constantly. I wasn't hearing good things about you from your friends. I mean, goodness, four years!" 

She smiled in reassurance. "But I'm doing wonderfully now that Sephiroth's back." 

"Yes, well..." Again the disapproving glance at the swordsman. "What do you two plan on doing with yourselves?" 

"We're going to get married sometime soon, I expect, but we haven't figured out the date yet." 

Elmyra blinked. "Married?" 

"Did you expect us to wait?" Aeris queried. "I've waited long enough, don't you think?" 

"Yes, yes, but..." Her eyes flicked towards Sephiroth. 

"You would rather she chose someone else," the swordsman said for her. "Quite understandable and even sensible of you." 

"Well, I mean..." Elmyra fumbled, taken aback by his frankness. "That's not quite what I..." 

"It's all right, Mom," Aeris interrupted. "We all know you don't think much of him after all that's happened. That's why we're here: to set you at ease with the match." 

Her mother nodded. "In that case, there's something I want to know. If you are such a wonderful person, Sephiroth, why did you kill my daughter?" 

"Mom--!" Aeris exclaimed, shock and worry threaded through her voice; certainly she had not expected something so spiteful from her mother. 

"Aeris, it is all right," Sephiroth interjected, his voice calm though his eyes were downcast. "It is a valid question, after all. Except, Mrs. Gainsborough, that you expect me to give you excuses, and I have none to offer." 

"But you must at least have a reason," Elmyra insisted. 

He shook his head regretfully. "I killed her because I was not strong enough to stop myself. I was not strong enough to go against Jenova. But those are not reasons, are they? Jenova had her reasons for wanting Aeris dead, but I did not. That is why it is so terrible; I did not even want to do it, and yet I ignored those feelings entirely." 

He felt Aeris squeeze his hand. "Jenova's wishes meant a lot to you then," she reminded him, "and you couldn't even remember me. Of course you wouldn't defy her." 

He glanced at her, and her smile was nearly enough to make his pain vanish. 

Elmyra looked back and forth between the two. "I think I can see why he needs you, Aeris, but I can't comprehend why you're so terribly attached to him. Unless it's just as it always was, with you wanting to help everyone regardless of who they were." 

"I want to help him, yes," the Cetra confirmed, "but not just because he's damaged. He's as much a comfort to me as I am to him. I know... I know you heard me some of those nights when I cried myself to sleep. Even though, come morning, I pretended I hadn't cried, and you pretended you hadn't heard." 

Her mother nodded. "Yes, I did. I should have done something, but you were so determined to convince me you were happy that I couldn't. Quite frankly, you've always baffled me." 

"And that's just it," Aeris said. "I've always baffled _everyone_, and that's always set me apart. Alone. But Sephiroth, he understands me. You probably think we're so different that we couldn't possibly be friends, let alone lovers, but you'd be surprised how alike we are." 

"Oh?" 

She looked down in reluctance. "We both know all too well what misunderstanding is like. Neither of us is human, and we've both been specimens of Professor Hojo. We've both been used. We've both sacrificed. We both spent our lives in loneliness until we found each other." 

Elmyra faltered, turning to study Sephiroth's face. "One wouldn't think such things of Shinra's great general. One would think..." 

"...that he had been well off?" Sephiroth queried. "Content with all the perquisites of his position? It is a common misconception, though if I was unhappy, I could only blame myself." 

"Why do you say that?" 

"I had always been taught to ignore my emotions, so I did. I was foolish to accept that doctrine." 

"Always?" Elmyra wondered. "You mean that you were brought up that way?" 

He nodded. "Of course," he replied, not understanding her surprise. "Hojo wanted to create a perfect being, and, to him, that meant one lacking emotions." 

Aeris's mother was looking at him uncertainly now, as if she found herself sympathizing with him in spite of herself. "That does seem rather tragic," she admitted. 

He shrugged and looked away. He was glad, at least, that he had not earned her pity. Sympathy, perhaps, but not pity. 

"What about your parents?" she asked suddenly. "Didn't they object to this whole thing?" 

At that, he had to scoff. "Hojo was my father, and my mother was dead, so there was no one to object. I was born for the experiment, after all." 

"How cruel...!" 

Sephiroth glanced at her. "Don't misunderstand. I did not have it so hard as it sounds. I could have escaped if I had wanted." 

"Then why didn't you?" 

He shook his head and found he could not answer. 

"Why didn't you?" she repeated. 

"Mom," Aeris cut in finally. "You don't realize how personal a question that is... Maybe we should talk about something else. Something less... painful." 

Sephiroth looked at her, smiling minutely in gratitude. 

"Yes, yes, you're probably right," Elmyra agreed hurriedly. "What shall we talk about?" 

"Did Barret mention the party we're throwing at Tifa's bar?" Aeris wondered. 

"No, he didn't. What's it for?" 

"Sephiroth's birthday, actually," she answered with a smile. "It's the first one he'll celebrate." 

Elmyra turned to him curiously. "How old will you be turning?" 

He looked to Aeris. "How old _will_ I be?" 

She laughed. "Well, if you'd never died, you'd be forty this year. But, you know, take fourteen years out of that, and you're only twenty-six." 

"And you?" 

"I would have been thirty-two this year, but I guess I'll be turning twenty-seven come February. Which makes me older than you," she teased. 

"Hmph," he said, though he permitted himself a tiny smirk. 

"Anyway," Aeris went on, turning back to her mother. "Do you think you can come?" 

"Me?" Elmyra queried. "Why should I come? It's for you and all your friends, not your parents." 

"Sephiroth's mother will be there, and she's older than you are. Well, sort of..." 

Her mother blinked. "Sephiroth's mother? I thought he said that she died..." 

"Oh, dear," Aeris murmured, then went on to explain. "I revived her, you see, four years ago. I did it for Vincent; he's one of my friends from Avalanche, and he was in love with her back before Sephiroth was born. It's... sort of complicated." 

"I can see that," Elmyra said flatly. 

"So anyway, Lucrecia will be there. She doesn't look her age at all, but you'd like her, Mom, you would. And Vincent will be there, and Cid and Shera, and Barret..." 

Her mother nodded. "I suppose I'll come, if you think I should." 

Aeris smiled. "Oh, by the way, how is Marlene? How old is she now? Thirteen? Gods, it seems like only yesterday that she was just four years old..." 

"Indeed it does. Yes, she's thirteen, but she hasn't yet become a rebellious teenager, thank heavens. She's always been such a sweet little girl." 

Sephiroth was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. "Who is Marlene?" he inquired. 

"That's right," Aeris said. "You don't know her. She's Barret's adopted daughter. You'll have to meet her if she comes to the party." 

"And why is that?" 

"Because you'll be needing some experience with children before you have any of your own," Elmyra answered. 

He blinked rapidly. "Excuse me?" 

"I'll be wanting grandchildren, you know." 

Sephiroth looked to Aeris for help, but she only shook her head and laughed silently. "I, ah, hadn't thought of it, Mrs. Gainsborough," he said. 

To his surprise, Elmyra smiled in amusement and started laughing along with Aeris. Why did they both find his discomfort so amusing? 

"Seph," Aeris managed finally, "you are so incredibly adorable when you blush." 

He frowned and shook his head. "Whatever." 

At last she regained her composure. "Well. Mom, do you mind entertaining Sephiroth for a while? I've got to go out and buy him something for his birthday. Haven't had a chance yet, you know." 

Sephiroth looked at her with astonishment. "Aeris, you needn't get me anything. Besides, you already--" 

"Hush," she interrupted. "I'll get you something if I want to. And I was going to give that to you whenever you got back. It's not a birthday present." 

He sighed in defeat. "All right..." 

She stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be back soon." She nodded to Elmyra. "I'll see you later, Mom." 

Her mother nodded mutely, and both she and Sephiroth watched as Aeris disappeared out the door. They stared at it for a moment, then turned uneasily to look at each other. 

"Well," said Elmyra. 

The swordsman fidgeted. 

"Well," she repeated. "Have you had any girlfriends before Aeris?" 

He shook his head. 

"Hm. That's surprising, considering how handsome you are." 

He shrugged. "Most women didn't interest me." 

"Aeris has had two boyfriends before," Elmyra stated. 

Sephiroth nodded, wondering if there was any point to this conversation. Elmyra truly perplexed him. "Yes, she told me. And I knew both of them." 

"Did you? Well, I suppose you were all in SOLDIER, weren't you?" 

"Cloud wasn't. I only know him because he killed me." 

Elmyra furrowed her brow in confusion. "But he said..." 

He looked away. "He only thought he had been in SOLDIER. He... suffered from some memory complications." 

"'Memory complications'?" she repeated. "What from?" 

"From when I burned down his hometown," Sephiroth replied flatly. 

"Oh." 

He glanced at her; she seemed to be having difficulty finding a safe topic. 

"So, why are you interested in Aeris if you never cared much for women?" she wondered. 

"You have to ask?" he said with some surprise. "Surely you've realized that Aeris is not like other women. She is... perfect. No one has ever treated me as she has. To think, I expected her to hate me like everyone else." 

"Hardly everyone hates you," Elmyra told him, and the reassurance sounded strange from her. "Otherwise, why would you even be here now? Aeris said that all those you'd killed were going to decide whether you lived or not. Obviously, most of them don't hate you, even if you murdered them." 

"One of Aeris's miracles, I'm sure," he said dismissively. "You must be quite disappointed in me. You never wanted her to fall for a SOLDIER, and I was SOLDIER's general; you wanted her lover to be gentle, and I have been far from it; you wanted him to be amicable, and I am quite cold." 

She blinked. "Has Aeris been talking about my expectations?" 

Sephiroth shook his head. "Hardly at all. She only said you would probably dislike me, which is no surprise." 

"Then how did you guess all the rest?" 

He faltered, finding that he did not have an answer, and could only shake his head. 

Elmyra nodded slowly. "I think I'm beginning to see it now." 

"See what?" 

"Why she chose you. You're almost as good at figuring people out as she is, aren't you?" 

"No, not really," he said, wondering how he had managed to give her that impression. 

"Modest, too," Elmyra added. "I must say, you're not what I expected." 

"What were you expecting?" he asked, though he could guess at her response. 

"Someone arrogant and commanding. Certainly you're not--what did you say?--amicable, but you _are_ sort of gentle, in your own way." 

Sephiroth refrained from scoffing and simply looked away again. 

"By the way," she went on, "what was it that Aeris gave to you?" 

"Ah... A materia, actually," he answered slowly. 

"Materia?" Elmyra repeated curiously. 

He drew it carefully from his pocket--a poor place for it, he thought, and he would have to figure out something more suitable--and held it in his open palm to show her. 

"A _white_ materia!" she exclaimed. "I've never...! No, no... She always used to wear that in her hair. I remember now. I've never seen another like it." 

Sephiroth replaced the orb in his pocket. "There is no other like it. It is the only White Materia, used to summon Holy. Aeris used it when I summoned Meteor... I really don't know why she gave it to me." 

Elmyra smiled kindly, an expression he had not expected from her. "She used to wear it like a good luck charm. Maybe she's decided that she doesn't need it anymore." 

"I hope she doesn't."

* * *

Author's Notes  
Such a pointless chapter! But that's okay because we like extra AeriSeph, right? Right. Hmm... not too much to say here. This is where some description from a much earlier church scene ended up, since that scene got cut. Otherwise I didn't make many changes. 

(Also, I'm a horrible person.) 


	44. Lost Time

**Chapter 43: Lost Time**

The tavern was not as spacious as some, but, as Aeris had remarked, bigger than Tifa's old Seventh Heaven in Midgar. Tifa had left the bar open so that her guests had access to the refrigerator and whatever liquor she had back there. Three fair-sized tables were spaced around the remainder of the room, and those arriving gravitated to these after Aeris had greeted them. Sephiroth had stood with her for a time, but had since retreated to a corner of the bar where he was out of the way but still able to watch her. 

"E-excuse me..." a shy little voice began. 

He shifted his gaze to look at the speaker: she was a tiny slip of a girl, a child with large brown eyes and dark hair in braids just past her shoulders. Marlene, he guessed, judging by her age. 

"Excuse me," she repeated with greater confidence. "You're Sephiroth, aren't you?" 

The question amused him; of course she knew he was Sephiroth. Everyone did. "Yes," he replied. 

She smiled hesitantly. "I'm Marlene." 

He nodded. "Barret's daughter, I assume." 

"Yes," she replied eagerly. His recognition seemed to encourage her. "I thought I'd come say hi. I mean, this is your party, isn't it? And here you are in the corner..." 

The swordsman shrugged. "I prefer not to draw much attention." 

"But isn't that really the point of a birthday party?" Marlene asked, somewhat puzzled, as she hopped up onto a barstool near him. 

"This is my first," he confided. "I would not know." 

"Oh, I see. Well... I'm shy myself, but you should really just let loose and enjoy yourself, you know?" 

Sephiroth nodded towards the door. "I am waiting for Aeris." 

Marlene glanced in Aeris's direction, then swivelled back to him. "I heard that Aeris waited a whole four years for you to come back to life," she said brightly. "I think that's awfully romantic, don't you?" 

"Do all young girls have such strange notions?" he wondered. 

"Strange notions?" she repeated. "What do you mean?" 

"How could subjecting oneself to four years of loneliness possibly be romantic?" 

"Oh, easily," the girl answered matter-of-factly. "It's more of a tragic romanticism, though, I think. I mean, I know it must've been hard on her being alone that long, but it's touching, too. And it should be especially so for you, considering she did it for you." 

He shook his head. "It would be very selfish of me to appreciate that kind of sacrifice. I almost wish she had not waited." 

"How can you say that? You wanted to come back and find her off with some other guy?" 

"Yes." 

She frowned, pondering this for a long moment, then finally shook her head. "I don't get it." 

"Perhaps you will understand when you fall in love," he suggested. 

The girl sighed. "That's what everyone tells me. 'Oh, you'll understand when you're in love.' How hard can it be to explain?" 

Sephiroth shrugged. "I probably could explain it, and when I was through, you would nod and say, 'Oh, that makes sense.' But years later, you would experience love for yourself, and you would find it just as confusing as before, if not more so. So why endeavor to comprehend it without experiencing it first?" 

"So it's different for everybody, right?" Marlene concluded uncertainly. 

"I suppose. But it is easier to understand others' motives and reasons once you have gone through it yourself, even if it was quite different for you." 

She smiled. "I'll probably end up looking back at what I think now and wondering how I could ever be so silly, won't I?" 

"Quite possibly," he agreed. 

"Do you?" 

"Do I what?" 

"Think what you used to believe is pretty stupid now." 

"Of course." 

She swivelled back and forth on the stool. "Sephiroth?" 

His gaze had wandered to Aeris, who looked about ready to seek him out, but now he looked back at the girl. "Yes?" 

"Can I call you Seph?" 

A pause. "Certainly." 

Marlene smiled again. "You know what? I've heard too many stories to count from Papa and Cloud and Tifa, but it's hard to believe them all now. I hope I fall in love with someone as nice as you." 

Sephiroth stared at her in astonishment, failing to notice that Aeris was now close enough to overhear. "Nice?" he queried. "Whatever gave you that impression?" 

"What?" she asked, not seeming to realize how absurd it seemed to attribute kindness to him. "You don't treat me like a kid, and you're honest. I think it's nice." 

"I didn't mean for it to seem that way," he faltered. 

The girl blinked. "What do you mean by that?" 

"Oh, don't try to find any logic in that," Aeris said, startling the two. "Sephiroth thinks he has some sort of reputation to protect, that's all." Her laughing gaze met Sephiroth's, and he raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

"He can't possibly want people to think he's evil, can he?" Marlene asked. 

"Of course not," she replied. "That's why it's so illogical." 

"But Aeris," Sephiroth said with a faint smirk, "what am I supposed to do when you are always telling people how nice I am? If you keep it up, I'll have _friends_, and then we'll never have any time to ourselves." 

Aeris laughed. "Is that how it is? And I suppose you're worried about having admirers, too, hmm?" 

"I know you wouldn't want to make anyone jealous," he countered smoothly. "You have had enough of love triangles, I'm sure." 

"You're right, of course," she replied, then shook her head. "Oh, poor Marlene, we've left her quite bewildered." 

The girl smiled shyly. "It's all right, Miss Aeris. I think I'll leave you two be..." 

"I don't blame you. And call me Aeris," she added. 

Marlene nodded. "All right... Aeris. I'll talk to you later, Seph." She hopped off the stool and wandered off. 

"So everyone is here?" Sephiroth asked, surveying the room. 

"Yes, I think so," she answered. "And I must say, you really have a knack for finding the most obscure and unobtrusive corners." 

"Really? Then how did you find me so quickly?" 

"Because I know you." 

He raised an eyebrow. 

She relented. "All right, all right. I watched you to see where you went." 

"That's what I thought." 

"Have you talked to anyone besides Marlene?" Aeris asked. 

The swordsman shook his head. "I have not sought them out." 

"I'm sure they'd all like to talk to you. It's been four years for all of us, you'll remember, even if it only seemed like a week at most to you." 

"I know. I wanted to wait for you." 

"Worried about how some of them might react?" she wondered. 

"No; merely uncertain, and I would rather be with you anyway." 

She placed her hands on her hips. "You've been with me constantly for nearly two weeks straight, and they haven't seen you in years." 

"The latter point is valid," Sephiroth told her quietly, "but I can never get enough of you." 

A smile softened her expression. "I know how you feel. But you ought to at least..." She trailed off, glancing to her left with a start as Minerva walked a few steps past her and stopped, staring at Sephiroth. Abruptly, she closed the distance between them and hugged him, a gesture that surprised Sephiroth before he realized that she had had years to get used to this. He returned the embrace as best he could. 

Reno was standing awkwardly a little behind Aeris, and she turned, took him by the arm, and quietly led him away. 

Minerva pulled back and met Sephiroth's gaze. "I missed you," she said. 

He wasn't sure how to respond to that; he hadn't been conscious enough to miss her. He had missed Aeris--vaguely, in dreamlike blurs of emotion and thought. "I am sorry," he said. 

She shook her head. "You've done nothing to apologize for. I am only glad that you're back. It would have been nice to have had you around..." 

"At first, I suppose," Sephiroth reflected, "but I am sure you have long since adjusted to this life." 

"For the most part, yes," she replied, "but there are some things I doubt I'll ever get used to." 

He nodded. "Now that I am back... you and Reno will marry, yes?" 

"Yes. Elena has been trying to get me involved in the wedding plans, but I really don't care enough about that sort of thing. I have heard little girls plan their weddings from young ages, but... why bother with plans? Would it not be better unrehearsed, spontaneous, natural...?" 

"I have not thought much about weddings." 

Minerva tilted her head. "What of your own? Or does Aeris not consider it so important?" 

"We have talked some, casually," he admitted. "She does not seem to want anything grand, but I can tell it will be a very significant event to her." 

"It seems to mean a lot to everyone," she remarked. "I feel as though I've missed something." 

"We were not raised with the idea of marriage as the mark of a great change in life. It is supposed to bind two people together spiritually, or something of the sort, but honestly it seems superfluous... Then again, I've never cared to learn much on the subject, so you would be better off asking someone else." 

She nodded. 

"What else has been going on?" he asked her. 

"Well..." she mused, a slight smile crossing her face. "Lately Reno has been trying to start me on a musical career. He is only half-joking, but I can't help finding it amusing." 

"You would be good at it, if you could get past your embarrassment," he said. "Although, there aren't really many entertainers anymore, are there?" 

"More writers than anything," Minerva answered. "With the loss of Mako, it seems we've taken a step backward. Books far outnumber television programs, concerts outnumber radio broadcasts, traditional theatres outnumber cinemas." 

"I wonder if Aeris would be interested in seeing something," Sephiroth mused. 

"Whenever you visit us in Junon, perhaps we can all go out to see a play," she suggested. 

He nodded. "I will mention it to her." 

The both noticed Reno approaching at the same time. "Hi," he said uneasily. "Aeris said it was prolly okay for me to intrude on your conversation now." 

"You mean 'join in,'" Minerva corrected. 

"Yeah, whatever." He shrugged and turned to Sephiroth. "I didn't get a chance to say how great it is to have you back and all. I don't think I've _ever_ seen Aeris's spirits so high. We'll be looking forward to seeing more of you guys." 

"As will we," the swordsman replied. 

The redhead shifted and glanced back at one of the tables. "There's something I wanted to mention... I dunno if Elena'll actually find the nerve to bother you about it, but you know, when she heard you were alive, she got really excited thinking you'd bring Tseng back and everything." 

"I did tell her I would try," Sephiroth recalled, "but I do not know if I will be able to now that I've lost much of my power. Aeris may have to be the one to do it, if she is willing, and, perhaps more importantly, if the Planet is willing." 

"Well, the Planet never had any objections before, did it?" Reno asked. 

"I suppose Aeris did not tell anyone how busy it has been. It could not even find the energy to _speak_ to her until about a month ago." 

"What does that have to do with anything?" 

"You should really pay more attention to planet study, Reno," Minerva sighed. "Extracting a soul from the Lifestream means taking energy from the Planet, like drawing blood. If the Planet has worked itself to exhaustion, it may be too weak to loose even the slightest amount of energy." 

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely. "My memory's not as great as yours. It probably doesn't help that I'm only human." 

"No, it probably doesn't," she agreed, though by her tone she did not consider that a valid excuse. 

"Anyway," said Reno, "I think I saw Delphine and Kat looking for us. Haven't seen them in a while; you wanna go say hi?" 

Minerva nodded. "All right. Sephiroth, are you coming?" 

"In a moment." 

The two left him alone in his corner to find their friends, and several minutes elapsed before Aeris rejoined him. 

"Barret caught sight of me," she said by way of explanation. "It's been a very long time since I've seen him, and he can get pretty emotional sometimes. It always manages to surprise me." 

He nodded a bit but could think of no reply. His attention was elsewhere, and at length he decided to speak his mind. "It was a little late, you know." 

"Hmm?" 

"What Elmyra said about needing experience." 

"What do you mean?" 

Sephiroth nodded towards Minerva who sat with her friends across the room. "Do you know who her father is?" 

Aeris's eyes widened when understanding found her, and then she shook her head ruefully. "You didn't even know, so what could you have done? Besides, I think you're doing a fine job now. I noticed she always went to you for advice." 

"But that works both ways," he said. "I ask advice of her as well." 

"It doesn't matter. And anyway, you seemed to get along well with Marlene, too. In fact, she seemed quite smitten with you." 

He raised an eyebrow. "She is only thirteen." 

"I guess you've never had a crush, Seph," Aeris concluded in amusement. "Teens get them a lot, and age really isn't a factor." 

"Apparently not." 

"Seriously, though, since you brought it up--what do you think? About having children, I mean." 

"Honestly? I'm afraid I would make a terrible father. You would have to raise the children by yourself; I've no idea what to do with them." 

"Nonsense," she insisted. "Just do the opposite of everything your father did, and you'll do fine." 

"Will I really?" he wondered. 

She smiled reassuringly. "Of course. I'll help you." 

He nodded slightly but did not have time to reply before a small figure tackled him, startling him so much that he nearly struck her--but he realized that it was Yuffie, her arms around him in a violent hug. 

"Why do you have to pick such obscure corners to hang out in?" she demanded when she drew back. "I've been looking for you since I came in." 

Sephiroth merely looked at her blankly for a long moment, taking a step back and calming himself. 

She blinked and then grinned sheepishly when she realized why. "Sorry if I scared you," she apologized. 

"It's all right..." 

"But _gods_, it's good to see you." Yuffie's tone of voice took on a mock sternness. "You made everybody so worried; you'd better not die again." 

"I don't plan on it," he assured her. 

"I won't let him," Aeris added, taking hold of his arm. 

The ninja grinned. "That's good to know. Do you think you can get him to join the rest of us? It's his party, after all." 

"Hmm... He seems pretty rooted to this spot," the Cetra reflected. "He _does_ like corners." 

"Come on, Seph," said Yuffie. "Or do we have to drag you?" 

He raised an eyebrow, surveying her petite figure. "Do you honestly think that you could?" 

The ninja drew herself up, trying to seem taller. "You underestimate the great Yuffie Kisaragi." 

"Besides," Aeris added, casting her friend a look of amusement, "it can't be any harder than moving your dead body." 

"I was not resisting then," Sephiroth pointed out. 

"Oh? Then we do have to drag you...?" 

He laughed and shook his head. "No. I will go willingly." 

Aeris smiled, and Yuffie led the two out to a table where many of the others were sitting. "Seph's finally come out of hiding, guys," the ninja announced. When he did not speak, she nudged him. "Come on, say hello." 

The swordsman cast her a strange look before turning back to the others. "Ah... hello." 

"Welcome back to the world of the living," Katrina said, a broad smile on her face. 

"I don't think you've met Delphine," Aeris said, gesturing to the girl beside Katrina. "She's a friend of ours from Bone Village, though she moved to Cosmo Canyon a year or so ago." 

Sephiroth inclined his head. "It is nice to meet you, Delphine." 

"I'm honored, Sephiroth," she replied. "I've heard a lot about you from everyone." 

"Really?" he wondered. "They must have exaggerated somehow, for you to be 'honored.'" 

"Oh, don't be silly," Aeris laughed. "You're better than any story about you." 

Yuffie motioned for the two of them to sit down at the table, and they did so, Sephiroth looking around at the faces he saw. In addition to Yuffie, Katrina, and Delphine, there were also Minerva, Reno, Rude, Elena, Tifa, and Cloud, all sitting close enough that, had they not been friends, they would have felt quite uncomfortable. 

"So when's the wedding?" Katrina asked. 

"That would be a better question to ask of Minerva and Reno, I think," Sephiroth replied. 

"Neh, we were thinking in a couple weeks," Reno said with a shrug, "but we don't have anything concrete yet." 

"Anyway," Aeris put in, "we don't want a big celebration, just a quiet little wedding." 

"But you're going to invite all of us, right?" Yuffie asked. 

"Is it really that important to everyone?" the Cetra wondered in surprise. 

"Of course," Nanaki answered. "We all want to see you get married. But, if you do not want to make a big deal of it, that's quite all right. We will get over it." 

"I guess... Well, when I was younger, I did imagine my wedding would be something extravagant," Aeris admitted, "but now, it all seems so simple. So I want to keep it that way. I hope I'm not ruining anyone's plans for it." 

"No, I don't think anybody got that far," Katrina assured her. "We've anticipated the day, sure, but we weren't gonna plan it for you." 

"Hey, Cloud, Tifa," Reno said suddenly, "what're you guys doin' at this table anyway? You're already married." 

"You thought they were gonna hang out with all the old people?" Elena asked him, gesturing to another table occupied by their older friends as well as Reeve and Marlene. 

"Old people?" Rude wondered. "Reeve, for one, is younger than me, and that girl is hardly old." 

"Well, they're at the wrong table," Elena stated. 

Reno rolled his eyes. "No, Elena, I didn't expect them to hang out with the 'old people.' I was just pointing out how the rest of us aren't tied down yet." 

"Yet," Katrina emphasized. 

"The only couple here that's married," Tifa mused. "That won't be a title we get to keep for long, will it?" 

"No," Delphine said, "it seems like everybody's getting married. I almost feel left out." 

"Me, too," Yuffie agreed with a brief glance at Nanaki that few noticed. "Anyway, Aeris, I hope you guys aren't planning on staying in the City of the Ancients." 

The Cetra shook her head. "No, I packed up all my things and brought them with me. Maybe we'll go there every now and then, but not to stay." 

"That's good to know," Cloud remarked. 

"So where _are_ you headed?" 

"Actually, Yuffie, we thought we might like to live in Wutai." 

The ninja blinked, and her eyes flicked to Sephiroth. "Really?" 

"Yes," he replied. "I have a lot of things to atone for there, if you'll let me." 

"Oh, sure," she said eagerly. "I could use your help. You guys can stay in the guest room 'til you can get a house of your own." 

Aeris smiled appreciatively. "That sounds lovely, Yuffie." 

She grinned and said boastfully to the others, "You guys should all be jealous. _I_ get to have Aeris and Sephiroth living under my roof." 

"We are very envious indeed," Minerva agreed. 

"Hey, Seph," Marlene said, having gotten up from the other table and come to lean over his shoulder. "When are you gonna open your presents?" 

He looked at her blankly. "Presents?" 

"Well, me an' Red both got you something," Yuffie said. "I dunno about everybody else." 

"We got him something, too," Reno put in. 

"You know I got you something," Aeris told him with a smile, "but I'll have to give it to you later." 

"What is it?" he asked in curiosity. 

She waggled a finger at him. "Tsk, tsk. I can't _tell_ you; it'd ruin the surprise. You'll just have to wait." 

"But you can open the other ones now," Yuffie said. "Is that okay with everybody?" 

The question was met with agreement. 

"Maybe we should see if anyone over there has anything for him," Tifa suggested, nodding towards the other table. 

"I already asked," Marlene told her, hopping up to sit on the table near Sephiroth. "They didn't. And they wanted me to drag Sephiroth over to say hi after he opened the ones he had, but I really don't know how I'm supposed to manage that." 

"We could do it, I'll bet," Yuffie said. "Just you and me." She looked Sephiroth over and amended, "Well, maybe Aeris, too." 

He shook his head. "You don't have to drag me anywhere." 

"Damn," she cursed, snapping her fingers. "I wanted to see if we actually could." 

"You couldn't." 

"That's what _you_ think." 

Nanaki cleared his throat. "I believe Sephiroth was going to open his gifts, yes?" 

"I'll go get them," Aeris said, quickly rising to retrieve a few boxes from the counter. She placed them in front of Sephiroth as she sat back down. 

With their faces urging him on, he hesitantly chose the one on the top to open first. The label claimed that it was from Minerva and Reno, though he doubted either of them had wrapped it. Minerva would not have bothered, and Reno could not have done it so neatly. Blue paper covered it, folded precisely and secured with tape. Probably Elena's work, he decided as he proceeded to ruin it. 

Inside the narrow box lay a sort of hoop with cord stretched across it like a spiderweb and black-tipped silver feathers hanging from it. He glanced up at Minerva, perplexed. 

"A dream catcher," she explained. "It is supposed to catch nightmares before they reach you." 

"Probably more for decoration now that you two're back together," Reno added with a wink, "but we thought it was kinda neat." 

"Sephiroth nodded appreciatively. "Thank you." 

"'welcome." 

Setting the dream catcher aside, he picked up the next item, from Yuffie, which she had wrapped in a vibrant red which somehow made him think of fall leaves rather than blood. Inside lay a Wutain-style shirt of black, embroidered with a deep blue-green thread. 

"I guess it's more appropriate than I'd intended, since you'll be moving to Wutai," she reflected. "I won't say you'll fit right in because you won't, really, but at least you'll look more Wutain--though your eyes are slanted right." 

"Probably because my father was Wutain," he mused, surprised that he had managed to say this without contempt. The absence of it made everyone comfortable with the statement, rather than anxious. 

Yuffie nodded and then grinned. "As it is, I just figured you might need new clothes." 

Sephiroth glanced down at himself; he still wore the clothes that he had died in, as Aeris had not yet succeeded in dragging him to a store, and while she had done her best to mend them, they still looked well-worn, if not a bit tattered. "I suppose I do," he agreed with a smirk. "Thank you." 

"No problem." 

The last gift was from Nanaki, unwrapped in a plain cardboard box. Opening it, he found a soft robe inside, white with a trim of red triangles. He blinked, recognizing it as the type of robe healers once wore when people could still make a profession out of it. But Shinra had made materia as available as newspapers, and people no longer needed healers. 

He glanced at Nanaki. "A healer's robe?" he queried. "Why?" 

"I thought it appropriate," Nanaki replied with a cat-like smile. "Aeris has told you why many times, I am sure." 

Sephiroth turned to Aeris and met her green eyes. Slowly, he smiled, and he looked back at Nanaki. "It is appropriate. Thank you." 

"You are quite welcome." 

He replaced the items in their boxes and stacked them neatly, leaving the paper crumpled on the table. "As for the rest of you, thank you simple for coming, and for everything else you've done." 

"There's no need to thank us," Katrina told him. "You've done things for us, too." 

He nodded and got to his feet, glancing across the room. "I suppose I should go greet them." 

Aeris stood with him, smiling. "Yes, let's go say hello." 

Taking her hand, he walked to the other table, Aeris at his side and Marlene following. "Marlene said for me to come over." 

Lucrecia looked up instantly, her eyes brightening at the sight of him, and she nearly leapt up to embrace him. "There you are, Sephiroth! Come, sit down, there's room." 

Reeve moved over a seat, and the two newcomers sat down between him and Lucrecia. Marlene remained standing, leaning over her father's shoulder. Barret's gaze was the only one even mildly hostile. 

"It's so wonderful to see you," Lucrecia went on. "You've been gone far too long." 

He nodded. "I have." 

"So, go on, tell us what you plan to do with yourselves." 

"We are moving to Wutai," Sephiroth answered with some hesitation; he was used to the questions being asked of Aeris. "Yuffie has offered us lodging in her house." 

"Her dad'll give you all hell for that," Cid warned. 

The swordsman nodded. "I am aware of that." 

"Can we expect a wedding any time soon?" Lucrecia wanted to know. 

"A marriage, yes," Aeris replied, "but no big ceremony. Sorry to disappoint." 

"There's no need to apologize, dear. After four years, I think you deserve whatever kind of wedding you want." 

"And whatever kind of life she wants afterwards," Sephiroth added quietly, earning him a soft smile from Aeris. 

"Cid, you didn't tell me they made such a cute couple," Shera said reproachfully. 

"Hell, am I supposed to be a good judge of things like that?" 

"Well, isn't it obvious?" 

The pilot snorted. "To women, maybe." 

"The man's right," Barred stated. "I mean, it's _Sephiroth_. Hard ta get past dat." 

"I am inclined to agree with you on that," Sephiroth said with mild amusement. "My reputation precedes me." 

"An' its' about as bad a reputation as a guy can get," Cid told him. "But people get over it. Most of 'em. Sorta." 

"Cid..." Shera began. 

He glanced at her and ran a hand through his hair. "What?" 

She shook her head and looked over at Sephiroth and Aeris. "Best of luck to you two. I know you haven't had much of it before." 

"Looking back, I wouldn't say that," Aeris mused. "How many other people that you know have gotten second chances at life?" She nodded to Lucrecia. "I know you have, yes, but I know far more people who died young, and none of them were given life again. I think we can call ourselves lucky." 

Sephiroth shook his head in disagreement. "Myself, perhaps, but it was not luck who killed you and later brought you back into this world to suffer." 

"Oh, yes, you're right," she said. "That was you. You killed me, and I lost you; you brought me back, and I found you." 

He stared at her for a moment, and then his expression softened and he laughed. "As always, there is no use arguing with you." 

Aeris laughed, too, leaning her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Elmyra was the first to leave the party, which did not surprise Aeris in the slightest. Her mother had never liked staying up late, especially not before a day of travel. She, Barret, and Marlene planned to return to Midgar the next day. So Aeris and Sephiroth went with her to the door. 

"I'll admit, I had more fun than I thought I would," Elmyra confessed. "I'm glad you talked me into coming." 

Aeris smiled. "I'm glad you came. I've missed you." 

"Oh, no, you haven't," her mother laughed. "You've spent all your time missing _him_. What do you care about this old woman?" 

"Mom, you know that's not true," she said, giving her mother a brief hug. "I mean, maybe I missed him more than you, but I still thought of you every now and then. I kept thinking, '_Now_ she'd call me crazy.' You never did before, but..." 

"That whole waiting business," Elmyra said, "is the only thing you've done that I think I can understand. You're not the only one who's gone through that, dear, but perhaps you've had it the hardest." 

Aeris shook her head and squeezed Sephiroth's hand. "With each day that I'm with him, those four years seem like less and less of a big deal. He was worth the wait." 

Her mother smiled. "Yes, you do make a lovely couple, though certainly not a conventional one. Aeris, you'll keep in touch from now on? I'll want to know how things turn out." 

"I'll keep in touch," she confirmed. "And do you think you could come to our wedding? We're only asking you and a few others..." 

"Of course I'll come." 

Aeris smiled. "Thanks." 

"Well. I should be going." She nodded to Sephiroth. "I... apologize for what I said earlier. I only..." 

He held up a hand. "There is no need for apologies. I am well aware of my reputation and my actions. You had every right to say what you did, and I have every reason to thank you for choosing to approve of me in spite of everything." 

Elmyra blinked, astounded. "You're perfectly welcome," she managed. "Good night, both of you." 

"Good night," they both answered. 

Aeris laughed once she had left. "You certainly made a good impression, Seph," she said. "I'm proud of you, really I am." 

"If the people in Wutai were so forgiving, I would have it simple, wouldn't I? But I know they won't be." 

"Don't worry about that now. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy this night." 

Sephiroth smiled. "I am enjoying it, Aeris. Almost as much as that night in Cosmo Canyon." 

"Almost?" she wondered. 

"Almost," he repeated, tracing her jaw with a fingertip. "There are moments this night when you've seemed as though you were trying too hard. Then, you were completely honest; I liked that. But I know you don't want them to notice that you're not fully healed." 

She dropped her gaze. "We'll talk about that later, all right? Not here, in this bar." 

"And certainly not with people watching us," he added. 

Blinking, she looked around. Indeed, a number of their guests had their eyes on the pair by the door. "I hadn't noticed," she admitted sheepishly. Her gaze found Barret and Marlene as the two got up and headed over to them, the latter with a heavy reluctance. 

"It's Marlene's bedtime," the huge man explained. He made even Sephiroth seem small and thin, and he certainly dwarfed Aeris and Marlene. Aeris noted for the fifth time that night that he had replaced the gun on his arm with an artificial hand, and she wondered why she found it so difficult to remember. 

"I don't know why he won't let me stay up later, just this one night," Marlene said, pleading her case to both Aeris and Sephiroth. 

"You already got an extra hour," Barret reminded her. "Ya shouldn't complain." 

"But how often do all of you get together?" the girl asked. "This is the first time in nine years, isn't it? _Nine years_..." She trailed off, her shoulders slumping when she saw that her father's expression had not changed. 

"Well, good night, Marlene," Aeris said with an apology in her voice. 

"Good night," the girl replied politely. She nodded to Sephiroth. "Happy birthday, Seph. And congratulations to both of you." 

"Yeah, good luck," Barret added, sincerely if a bit hurriedly. He turned to usher his daughter out the door, Marlene looking back over her shoulder and waving. 

Aeris and Sephiroth rejoined the others, and not until several hours past midnight did everyone come to the agreement that it was time to turn in. Reno and Minerva met the two Cetra at the door. 

"We'll see ya next week," Reno said, a wide grin on his face. "Thanks for agreeing to help out." 

"It's our pleasure," Aeris replied. 

"I just realized," Minerva said slowly, offering Sephiroth a smile. "For once I am certain that no dangers will find you between now and our next meeting." 

He returned the smile as a silent farewell, and she turned to Reno. "Let's go," she said, and the two stepped out the door together. 

Elena came up next, merely nodding her goodbye and intent on catching up with her friends. 

Sephiroth stopped her with a hand placed awkwardly on her shoulder. "We will ask the Planet about Tseng," he told her, "but I can give you no guarantees. I... suppose we'll check with you at the inn tomorrow morning, and you can come north with us if we can..." 

Her face lit up with a smile, and Aeris thought she might hug Sephiroth, but she restrained herself. "Really? That's wonderful! I'll... I'll see you guys tomorrow!" She waved and ran out, calling after Reno and Minerva to wait up for her. 

"I sincerely hope that we do not have to disappoint her," Sephiroth remarked, watching her go. 

"Me, too," Aeris agreed. 

"Still," Reeve said as he and Rude joined them by the door, "any kind of resolution to this will be good for her. You know what I mean?" 

She nodded. "All too well, I'm afraid... Well, Reeve, I'll see you tomorrow, all right?" 

He smiled. "Right. Good night, Aeris." 

Rude echoed his 'good night,' and the two left the bar. 

Katrina and Delphine stopped on their way out. "Unless you guys are headed off somewhere, we'll probably see you around for the next couple days," Katrina reasoned. "We're here 'til Thursday." 

"I'm not sure how long we're staying," Aeris admitted. "It all depends. I only know for sure that we'll be leaving for Junon in a week, but practically everyone will be." 

"I can't believe they're finally getting married," Delphine said. "They've been engaged for _years_." 

"Indeed they have." 

The girl fidgeted. "Well, I'm looking forward to seeing it happen." 

Katrina smiled. "We all are. But come on, it's late." 

"Yeah," Delphine agreed. "These two are probably anxious to chase everyone out and have some alone time." 

Something in her friend's tone made Katrina eye her quizzically. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Never mind," she said, adjusting her glasses. "I've spent far too much time around Reno is all. Let's just go." 

"Good night, you two," Aeris called after them as the two girls turned out the door. 

Lucrecia came up to them, Vincent just behind her. "Oh, think," she said to Aeris, "soon, you'll be my daughter-in-law." She turned to Sephiroth. "And you, my son, married! I used to think about it, you know. But I think it will be quite different from what I imagined. Will you tell me about your wedding?" 

"You're invited, Mother," Sephiroth told her. "As is Vincent. You can see it for yourself." 

"Oh, really? We'd love to come! Where will it be? And when?" 

"Not long after Reno and Minerva's wedding, I think," Aeris replied. "I'm not sure about the place yet, but I do have one in mind..." She glanced at Sephiroth and then shook her head. "Well, we'll tell you when we're certain." 

They exchanged good night's and found Cid and Shera standing nearby once Vincent and Lucrecia had left. 

The pilot clapped Sephiroth on the shoulder, startling him, and said, "You know, I thought the whole damn thing was crazy from the start, but you're probably saner than I am. Congrats; you're lucky to have her." 

"Yes, I am," Sephiroth replied slowly, eyeing Cid almost warily. _Saner than he is?_ he was probably thinking. 

Aeris could have laughed. "Come now, Cid," she said. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

He scratched his head. "I don't have a damned clue." He looked to Shera and put an arm around her. "But I've got her, so who cares?" 

"Right, Cid," Shera laughed. "Now let's go before you make a fool of yourself." 

"It's a little late for that," he muttered as she guided him out the door. 

Aeris watched them go, shaking her head. She glanced down when Nanaki bumped her leg and bent to stroke his face. "Tired of us two-legged things yet, Nanaki?" 

"Tired of you?" he wondered. "You are really quite fascinating creatures." 

"Well, you're fascinating, too, if that counts for anything," she replied, smiling and standing. 

Yuffie had joined them, her hands shoved in her pockets. "So when should I be expecting you guys?" 

"We'll come to Wutai in about two weeks," Aeris answered. "But, um..." She motioned the ninja closer and cast Sephiroth a warning look. He caught the sentiment and strode farther down the entryway towards the door, doing his best not to hear whatever she had to say. 

"What I bought for Sephiroth," Aeris went on in a whisper, "I had shipped to Wutai; I didn't think you'd mind. It should arrive there in a few days. Just as a heads-up, you know..." 

Yuffie nodded. "I got it." She grinned and gave Aeris a hug. "I'll see you later." She paused near Sephiroth on her way out. "Be prepared for a big fight when you meet my dad," she warned. "He has a _huge_ grudge against you." 

"I know," the swordsman replied dryly. "I have met the man." 

She laughed and headed out the door with a wave, Nanaki following at her heels. Sephiroth closed the door after them. 

"Well," said Tifa from where she leaned against the counter. "This is actually earlier than when we usually clear people out." 

Cloud stood beside her, hands behind his head. "It'll be nice to get a good night's sleep for once." 

"It's two in the morning, Cloud," Aeris stated with a glance at the clock. "How could you possibly make this a 'good night's sleep'?" 

"By sleeping till noon," Tifa answered, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, we're going to lock up and head home, all right?" 

"All right." Aeris headed for the exit, and Sephiroth held the door for her. They remained just outside the bar while Tifa and Cloud walked down the street to their villa. Aeris watched them go and then glanced up at the sky, where a thin sheet of clouds lay stretched across the moon, muting its glow but not hiding it altogether. 

She turned to Sephiroth. "Do you want to go for a walk along the beach?" she asked, not feeling the least bit tired. 

"Certainly," he replied. 

Aeris took his hand, and they walked the short distance to the beach. There, she removed her boots and carried them in her free hand, letting the sand caress her bare feet. The ocean stretched away to their left, dark and cool with the dimmed light of the moon brushing across the waves. 

"I don't believe I have ever heard 'good night' said so many times in one evening," Sephiroth remarked at length. It seemed unusual for him to start a conversation, and she wondered if he had something on his mind. 

"Same here," she replied. "But it was good to see them all again. So very good to see them, now that I'm in high spirits again." 

"Mm." 

After a pause, she asked, "You know where I want to be married, don't you?" 

"Yes." 

"And it's all right with you?" 

"I think it means even more to me than it does to you." 

Aeris smiled. "I'd hoped you'd see it that way." 

Sephiroth nodded and looked out to the sea. She watched him silently for some time; he was aware of her gaze, but did not return it. It did not bother her. Costa del Sol lay some distance behind them, and the beach here was bare of brightly-colored umbrellas and abandoned towels both. The sand stretched pale into the distance. 

"Sephiroth..." she began hesitantly. "I've... been wanting to confess something." 

He glanced back at her. "Confess...? Whatever it is, it can hardly be terrible, coming from you." 

She shook her head. "It is terrible, but you should know. I don't want there to be any secrets between us. None at all." She took a breath and looked up at him. "During that long wait... I almost did give up on you. I thought about just burying your body and moving on with my life. Oh, gods, to think I could have..." 

"That isn't so terrible," he said softly. "I would have been happier to come back and find you healed. To find you no longer attached to me." 

"...would you really?" she asked faintly, a wave of cold passing through her. 

"I would rather not have hurt you like this, Aeris. If you had left me behind... Certainly, it would have hurt, but you would not be scarred so." 

The feeling left her, and she smiled. "I don't mind, Sephiroth. I don't want anyone else. I'm immeasurably glad I didn't move on. It was more than worth it, just to have you back. I love you." 

"As I love you," he replied, bending down to kiss her softly. He held her against him for a long moment, and she closed her eyes. Sometimes she thought she just wanted to stay like this forever... 

"...perhaps we should head back to the villa," Sephiroth suggested after a long moment, she did not know how long. "It is late." 

"You're right," she said. 

But neither of them moved. It was a long time before they finally did return to the villa, quietly making their way to the basement's guest room and going to sleep.

* * *

Author's Notes  
OMG BIRTHDAY PARTY! ...yeah, I really don't have anything to say, except that it's _weird_ writing Marlene as a 13-year-old. O.o Anyways, another pointless chapter. XD Writing's still a little awkward in these last parts... mostly because _all_ of it should really be cut out, but I didn't feel like it so there. :x 

(Shush. I've been sick.) 


	45. Promises Fulfilled

**Chapter 44: Promises Fulfilled**

Sephiroth awoke to find Aeris sleeping in his arms, something which would have startled him had he not woken to the same beautiful face for the past two weeks. How lucky he was to have her, he thought. After all that he had done in his life, the only punishments he had received were numerous deaths and the hatred he had shown himself. Far greater were the punishments put upon Aeris, for no reason at all.

No, perhaps there was a reason. The world punished her because it was easy to do so. It was easy to take advantage of her willingness to help others, and her strength made it easy to fool oneself into thinking that she could take anything, survive any blow to her heart.

If only he had known what the Promised Land was really like; he might not have killed her then.

But then she would have belonged to Cloud, and he would have died again in trying to atone or let Hojo have his way with him. Or would she still have tried to help him?

If she was here with him now, what did it matter? One could not change the past, so what use was there in wondering what would have happened if things had gone differently, if one small catastrophe had been averted? It was his regret tugging at him, he knew. The guilt remained as strong as ever because he had caused those he loved such suffering.

Talya had known quite well what a torture it was to have these kinds of memories, and she had accepted death to be free of them. He had respected that wish. Better that he take the blow of her death than force her to live on with the pain of her memories, although a part of him wondered if perhaps she could have recovered had she lived.

Sephiroth shook his head slightly. He had other things to consider. Like Tseng, he reminded himself reluctantly. He did not want to have to tell Elena that it could not be done.

And he recalled Ira, the unfortunate gatekeeper whose death had been for an elaborate illusion that had fooled no one. Did he dare hope that Ira's death, too, could be atoned for?

_Quit stalling and find out_, he snapped at himself.

Closing his eyes, he retreated into himself as Aeris had taught him, searching for that part of his soul that he shared with the Planet.

"Planet?" he queried in a whisper, not daring to wake the angel in his arms.

_Yes?_ it answered, its voice sounding nearly as faint as his own. He could not hear it nearly as well as Aeris, but at least he could hear it.

"I need to ask you about Tseng and Ira. About reviving them."

_You would need some help from me to do it, and I cannot spare enough energy for the both of them. Is reviving Tseng not enough?_

Sephiroth frowned. "Ira was a good man. He did not deserve to die."

The Planet sent its equivalent of a reassuring smile. _When I told him that after I was finished healing myself and you, I might not have enough energy to allow for one resurrection, much less two, he told me he would rather it be Tseng. Ira said that his death had meant something, while Tseng's had not. Besides, he told me, there was no one waiting for him as Elena awaits Tseng._

"I see..." He faltered. "I am sorry to have to ask so much of you."

_I do not mind. Aeris is happy now, is she not? That makes me happy, too. And you have done much for me anyway. Do you know what it is like to have a wound left open for two thousand years?_

"No, Planet, I don't," Sephiroth chuckled. "I have not lived for two thousand years."

_But you have had open wounds. I think you still do._

"Oh? I am surprised you noticed."

_Of course I noticed. Your tears seemed like my cries._

"You remember that, do you?" he asked, looking down at Aeris thoughtfully.

_Yes. I watch my children, and I know them as well as I can. Do not have many left, only you and Aeris, and your mother, though she does not know it, and that makes me sad, just a little._

"I'll tell her then. Aeris can teach her to listen, and you will have the three of us."

_And more, later...?_

Gods, even the Planet...! He laughed softly. "Perhaps, Planet. I think Aeris would like that."

_You think it silly of me, but you and Aeris are my only friends. Sometimes Ifalna will talk to me, and a few of the others. But most prefer silence in their minds, probably because for so long I have been in such pain. Only Aeris and that human--Bugenhagen--would listen to my cries._

"It must be so frustrating to know so many and have so few listen," he mused.

_You understand that, too?_

"A bit, perhaps."

_It is nice to be able to speak to you. And not just about important matters either. Aeris only talks when she needs me..._

"Really? I thought you were much closer. She missed you."

_Did she?_

"Yes. I am surprised she does not talk to you more often."

"Mm... Seph...?" Aeris mumbled, lifting her head to look up at him.

_I will have to bother her often then. If you think she will not mind._

"Good morning," he said to Aeris, then replied softly to the Planet, "I don't think she'll mind."

_Ah, you two bring me such joy. But I will leave you alone now._

Aeris blinked at him sleepily. "What are you talking about?"

"I was talking to the Planet," Sephiroth explained.

"About Tseng?" she asked, lifting a hand to rub her eyes in an attempt to wake herself.

"Among other things, yes. It said that Tseng could be revived."

She smiled, resting her head back against his chest. "I'm sure Elena will be happy... Actually, with how she reacted last night, she'll probably tackle whoever tells her."

"Probably."

"Do you want me to tell her then?"

"No; she might knock you over, and I don't want you hurting yourself."

Aeris laughed. "My Sephiroth, guarding me from such dangerous things as overjoyed ex-Turks."

"Something like that."

"What time is it anyway?"

"Ah... nearly eleven, I believe," he answered.

She pushed herself up to sit beside him, the blanket falling to her waist. "We should be getting up. We told Elena we'd check with her this morning."

"Yes, we did." Sephiroth sat up, turning away from her and sliding his bare feet to the floor. After a moment, he stood and went to retrieve the shirt that Yuffie had bought him.

Behind him, he heard Aeris pulling her nightgown up over her head, and he contemplated turning around. He had not yet seen her naked, and he was not sure either of them was ready for it. In many ways they were close, but physical closeness was foreign to him, and he decided that he would rather take it slowly. So he waited until he could no longer hear the rustle of fabric before he allowed himself to look.

Aeris had sat down on the edge of the bed to work through the tangles in her hair with a brush. She wore a light denim dress that she had borrowed from Tifa, as most of her clothing was too heavy for Costa del Sol's climate, where even the winters were warm.

Sephiroth stood watching her, tying his own hair back into a long silver ponytail. It had been a long time since he had done anything with it, he considered, and perhaps it was time for a change.

Aeris stood up, tying her own hair back with a pink ribbon, slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops, and turned to face him with a smile. "Shall we?"

He nodded, and together they made their way from the villa to the inn where Elena was waiting for them in the shade of the awning. She straightened when she saw them, a tentative grin coming to her face. "Hey," she greeted.

"Morning, Elena," Aeris replied.

The blond shifted anxiously. "So?"

Sephiroth glanced at Aeris, then said, "The Planet says that Tseng can be revived."

Elena's eyes widened, and her grin became genuine. "Really? When?"

He held up his hands. "Tomorrow, I suppose."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around Sephiroth in a fierce hug while Aeris looked on in amusement. "Thank you, thank you, thank you...!"

The swordsman shifted uncomfortably, not returning the embrace but not pushing her away. He wondered if she remembered that he was the one who had killed Tseng to begin with.

Finally she pulled back, looking sheepish, and straightened some imaginary wrinkles in her shirt. "I'm coming with you. When will we be leaving tomorrow?"

"Come over as soon as you get up," Aeris told her. "Just barge right in and wake us if we're not up already."

Elena nodded, beaming. "Imagine, I'm going to see Tseng again! Oh, but I wonder what he'll say? I've spent so long thinking about him, and I don't even know if he likes me back."

"He does," Sephiroth stated, smiling faintly as the two women blinked at him in surprise. "He told me so, after the trial."

"Really? He does? Oh, gods, I can't wait to see him! Tomorrow, only one more day. Only one more. Oh! I have to go tell Reno and Rude and Reeve and... Oh, right! And I'll tell Reeve you're here. It's almost lunch time, isn't it? Right, yes, it's almost lunch time." And then she dashed off inside.

"I'm glad we can bring her certainty like this," Aeris said. "The waiting must have been awful for her."

Sephiroth put an arm around her and pulled her close, saying nothing; no words were needed.

Reeve emerged from the inn some minutes later, smiling when he saw them. "It's really great news," he said. "I can't remember ever seeing Elena so ecstatic."

"I know," Aeris replied, carefully slipping out of Sephiroth's embrace. "Well. It's a little after eleven, right? Where's this restaurant you told me about?"

"It's not far. Easily walkable." Reeve glanced at the swordsman. "You don't mind, do you? I know I asked before, but... she's obviously yours, and..."

"I don't mind. If she made you a promise, she should keep it."

Aeris smiled at him. "I'll see you later, Seph."

"All right."

She waved, then turned to walk along at Reeve's side.

Sephiroth watched them go, then returned to the villa, sitting down on the steps outside and leaning forward, his arms across his knees. He had a clear view of the beach from here, between the two buildings across the street. The tide was receding, and a fair number of people lay about in various positions of relaxation while a somewhat smaller number splashed about in the water.

The sunshine was bright on the ocean, and the crests of the waves glittered. The sand looked nearly white, and the buildings were not much less brilliant. It was the first time that such brightness had ever bothered him, but he did not let it show and kept his gaze on the water.

"Hey, Seph," Katrina called, attracting his attention. She had come down the street in a bathing suit, towel, and flip-flops, on her way to the beach, and now she came to stand below him, one arm resting on the side of the step.

"Hello," he replied.

"Where's Aeris?" she asked.

"Reeve took her out to lunch."

"Reeve did?"

He nodded. "Apparently, they made a deal some years ago. I don't know what his end was, but she agreed to give him one date. She certainly keeps her promises, no matter how long it takes."

Katrina smiled. "You keep yours, too. You promised Aeris you'd come back, and lo and behold, you came back. And from the dead at that."

Sephiroth shook his head. "I could not have kept that promise without Aeris and the Planet to help me. I owe them both so much... I owe a lot to everyone, really."

"You're making up for it. And fast, too."

"By the way..." he began awkwardly, "I always meant to thank you."

"What for?" Katrina asked, caught off-guard.

"For standing up for me in the beginning, when I could not defend myself," he went on, not dropping his gaze as he might have weeks--years--ago. "Even though I hardly paid you any attention."

She spread her hands wide. "What are friends for?"

"Did you really consider yourself my friend then?"

"Sure. You looked like you needed one."

"Thank you, then, for being one of the first to notice that."

She shrugged it off. "Think nothing of it. Besides, you saved my life when I first met you, and that kinda thing tends to make guys really attractive to girls."

He raised an eyebrow; he had not thought her to be interested in that way.

"I mean, not... romantically," she faltered. "Well, okay, it can seem kind of romantic, but it wasn't like that to me. I meant more attractive as a friend. More trustworthy."

"Of course," he said. "But why isn't the opposite true?"

"Huh? Oh... It usually is, but Aeris is a special case, blessed with infinite understanding and kindness... or something."

"Not quite infinite," Sephiroth amended. "But close enough."

Katrina nodded. "So... Do you wanna come down to the beach with us?"

"'Us'?" he queried.

She glanced back over her shoulder. "Um... Delphine's coming... Ah! There she is."

And sure enough, Delphine was coming down the street, and she quickened her pace when she noticed Sephiroth. She, too, had prepared herself for the beach, donning a swimsuit and a wide-brimmed hat to keep the sun out of her eyes. It seemed to be working some, for she did not squint as much as Katrina.

"Hi," she said to Sephiroth with some uncertainty.

"Hello," he replied.

The girl looked around. "...where's Aeris?"

The swordsman laughed softly. "Have we truly become that inseparable? She's having lunch with Reeve."

"We just figured she'd want to be with you constantly now that you're back," Katrina explained.

"She _has_ been with me constantly," Sephiroth said. "But there are some things that she must do without me."

"Anyway, do you want to hang out with us until Aeris comes back for you?"

He hesitated, then hopped over the side of the stairs to land in the street between the two girls. "All right."

"We were gonna try building a sand castle," Katrina began as they started towards the beach, "but... well..."

"Aeris always said he was good at everything," Delphine cut in. "So, Sephiroth, maybe you can help us out. Are you any good at building sand castles?"

"I wouldn't know," he replied.

"But everybody builds them when they go to beaches!" she declared, though obviously she knew it seemed ridiculous for him to have taken part in such a childish activity. "It's not like you haven't been to a beach before, so what did you do when you went?"

"Deployed armies," he deadpanned.

"Oh."

Katrina glanced over at him. "You're kidding, right, Seph?"

The swordsman shook his head. "No. Wutai has numerous beaches, and many battles have been fought upon them."

"Huh. Well, you'll have plenty of good memories to associate with beaches after this week."

"I already have some," he admitted.

"Oh?" Delphine wondered.

Sephiroth glanced at her. "They are mine and mine alone. Not for sharing."

"Ohhh..."

Katrina sighed, giving her friend a tug on the arm. "You've spent _way_ too much time around Reno."

* * *

The Knowlespole's winds were even more unforgiving than those of the City of the Ancients. They carried with them tiny flakes of ice that stung bare skin and a cold that penetrated to the bone. Those same winds whipped his hair about, pulling long strands loose from their restraining ponytail and lashing him, too, with these. Aeris huddled against him, her hood pulled up to cover her face, and he held her close, drawing as much warmth from her as she did from him. 

Sephiroth wondered how Elena stood it, walking alone with only a thick coat to warm her. Her friends had chosen to go on to Junon and wait just one more day or two for Tseng's return. With this bitter cold, no one could really blame them.

Elena took the lead once they reached Snow Village, leading them down the icy paths towards the thicket. Behind the last house, just before the trees began, stood a little marker, almost completely buried by snow.

The swordsman glanced at Aeris, then at Elena.

"...I'll dig him up," Aeris said finally. He could sense the weave of her spell as she used the biting winds to cut away the snow and earth, forming a barrier around the site so that those same winds could not return with the snow. When she had finished, Tseng's coffin lay beside the hole from which she had pulled it.

Sephiroth reluctantly let go of Aeris and crouched down to lift up the lid, pushing it aside. As they had hoped, the bitter cold had prevented all decay. Nothing ever changed in the Knowlespole, it seemed; the snow never melted, nothing new could grow, and if someone left, no one acknowledged their parting. Even the Cetra had held on longer here than anywhere else.

He reached down to touch Tseng's cold hand. "Planet...?" he queried softly.

_Am ready. Can give you some power, but not much. You will feel very drained afterwards, I fear._

"That is quite all right." Taking some pride in the fact that this was one thing _Aeris_ had learned from _him_, Sephiroth closed his eyes and sent his consciousness casting far out into the Lifestream. He searched for that pattern that was Tseng's soul, found it, and beckoned it close enough to grasp.

Suddenly he was overcome with another's regrets, so similar to his own and yet not quite as sharp. Regret for choosing the life of a killer, an assassin, regret for betraying old friends, regret for a promise never kept.

He saw himself through this man's eyes, saw himself in the throes of madness, raving about nonsensical plots and cutting down this man who stood before him, asking for reasons.

With an effort, he drew back from these memories, wondering if Aeris was better able to shield herself from such things, and brought Tseng's soul back to his body. He forced it to join to the dead flesh, feeding the body as much energy as the Planet offered him, as much as he dared.

Warmth returned slowly to Tseng's hand, but Sephiroth did not yet open his eyes--there was a wound to attend to, the long and ultimately mortal gash from his Masamune. He probed this with his mind and set to healing it, knitting muscle and flesh back together before the injury proved fatal a second time.

At last Sephiroth sat back, wearily forcing his eyes open as Tseng pushed himself up. "Thank you, Planet," he said in the barest of whispers. "Without your help, I would have been unconscious long before I was through."

_You are welcome, friend. Am glad to be able to aid you in keeping a promise._

Aeris came to kneel by his side, though her gaze was on her old friend.

Elena had hurried to help Tseng to his feet and out of the coffin, her mouth half-open and her eyes searching. For once, she was speechless.

Tseng laid a hand on her shoulder, looking at her silently for a long moment. "...are we still on for dinner?" he asked finally.

She laughed and hugged him close, crying at the same time. "Of course! As often as you want...! I missed you so much! Why did you have to go and get yourself killed like that?"

"I'm sorry. I held out as long as I could, but..." He trailed off, shaking his head, and glanced over at Sephiroth. "...thank you."

He nodded stiffly.

Tseng reluctantly pulled out of Elena's embrace. "Do you need any help? That... it drained you, didn't it?"

Sephiroth shook his head slightly and climbed to his feet. "I will manage."

"Do you think you can make it back to the docks, or should we stop and rest at the inn for a while?" Aeris asked him, standing also.

"No, let's head back if you all are ready." He pulled Aeris against him as they headed back the way they had come, glad to have her to warm him. And, behind them, Elena had Tseng.

* * *

Tseng sat on her bed, leaning tiredly against the headboard. Sephiroth and the Planet had given him enough energy to make the trip home, but not much more. Sephiroth himself had collapsed from exhaustion once they had arrived, and they had had to carry him back to the apartment, drawing numerous inquisitive stares. 

He turned his gaze to Elena, who sat cross-legged at the end of the bed, watching him with a slight smile on her face. He shook his head.

"I thought it was incredibly stupid of you to wait for me when I found out you had been," he told her, his tone not harsh at all. "But I suppose I'm glad you did. I shouldn't be, but I am."

"What do you mean you shouldn't be?" Elena asked him.

"Didn't it hurt to keep yourself living in the past like that? I know I couldn't have done it."

She smiled a little. "Well, I had Reno, Rude, and Reeve to help me through it. They thought it was pretty crazy for me to hope, too, but they're great guys, really."

"Even Reno?" Tseng wondered, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm not so sure about Reno," she admitted. "I hate his guts when he's here, but I miss him when he's gone."

"Gone?"

"Oh, right..." Elena faltered. "You don't know about how he and Minerva went up north with Aeris. That's where she waited for Sephiroth, and they kept her company for a while."

Tseng nodded to himself. "It seems like Reno's the only one of us who's moved on," he reflected.

"Because he snagged a girlfriend, and they'll be married within the week?"

"Among other things, yes. Strange, isn't it? He was always the least responsible of us."

"It did seem that way," she agreed.

After a pause, he asked, "How... is Aeris anyway?"

"Amazingly happy now that Sephiroth's back," Elena answered. "I think I can understand how she feels for once."

"Really? You're that happy to see me?"

She laughed. "You can't tell? I'm barely keeping myself from jumping for joy and hugging and kissing you like a madwoman." A second later she realized what she had said and blushed fiercely, murmuring a quiet "Oops."

Tseng smiled. "Elena, you talk too much," he said fondly.

"I know," she replied, grinning tentatively.

He closed his eyes. "Do you mind if we put off that date until tomorrow night?" he asked. "All of this has left me very tired."

"Oh, I don't mind at all, Tseng," she answered quickly. "Do you want me to leave so you can get some sleep?"

"No, you can stay."

Elena hesitated. "Well, I'll at least tell the guys not to come barging in while you're resting," she decided, getting up.

Tseng opened one eye to watch her leave the room, then closed it again and smiled slightly. It was good to be back. And this time, he'd do things right.

* * *

Reno and Minerva were married on a beach not far to the south of Junon Harbor. A steady wind blew off the sea that afternoon, carrying with it the cool scent of salt. The day was warmer than most that winter, but still chilly enough that few bared their arms. The wedding was simple; nothing had been set up save plain folding chairs and tables, all white, and nothing had been prepared besides the necessary food. The sole decoration was a small sand castle that Marlene had built just out of reach of the waves while the adults were setting up. 

Minerva had agreed, after many protests, to wear a dress for the occasion, though it was very plain, hardly anything more than a white slip whose simplicity made her appear almost otherworldly. Into her hair she had braided a single yellow flower from Aeris's church, still fresh and bright.

Reno had dug out his old Turk suit, and while no one had been able to make him tuck in his shirt, he had at least worn a tie. Out of all those present, only Minerva and Rude knew why he had chosen to dredge up old memories by wearing it. It was a blatant display of the fact that he had at last come to terms with his old life, not through the numbing effects of alcohol, but with Minerva's help.

They had asked Aeris to marry them, and she had consented happily. Little save the bride's walk down the aisle was conventional about the wedding, and only three of those present knew exactly how appropriate it was to have Sephiroth walk Minerva to where Reno stood. Reno was not one of them.

The Planet provided an accompaniment of joyous song, clearly discernible to two, and causing some confusion in a third; Aeris seemed particularly happy, the joy of the Planet and those around her adding to her own; Sephiroth was awed and pleased to hear the Planet's song; Lucrecia let it puzzle her for a few moments before shrugging it off as a trick of her ear.

Minerva and Reno exchanged their vows, Aeris pronounced them husband and wife, and the two kissed, a sign of affection that they had hitherto reserved for private moments, and which no one had seen pass between them. Afterwards, there was much laughter and ruining of garments in the sand. Many of the guests went wading in the ocean, though not far because of the temperature. Only Yuffie actually decided to go for a swim, much to everyone's shock, and insisted through chattering teeth that the water was warm once you got used to it. Nanaki refused to join her.

Evening fell with a glorious sunset over the ocean, and everyone gathered close around the tables for the last few hours to talk. Just before it was completely dark and when some of the guests were getting quite anxious to pack up and go, Reno and Delphine persuaded Minerva to sing for them. Everyone fell silent, and she sang quietly, eyes downcast, face expressionless, while they all listened in awe. Afterwards, she stood from the table and announced softly that it was time to clean up and return to Junon.

Only Reno noticed the faint astonishment and mingled pride on her face.

* * *

Author's Notes  
This chapter served the sole purpose of tying up loose ends... but at least it had a purpose, I guess. The writing is also a bit better here than in the previous two chapters. The last scene was a sort of experiment with a slightly different writing style and was done that way mostly because I felt that if I included dialogue, it would pretty much be the birthday party recycled. 

Only one more chapter to go! Who here wants to bet I'll actually get it up on Tuesday like I'm supposed to:3

(Yep. Still sick. But getting better now.)


	46. A Second Chance

**Chapter 45: A Second Chance**

Silence reigned in the Forgotten Capitol, and the seven who made their way down the crystalline staircase into it had no desire to change that. Aeris and Sephiroth led the way, side-by-side, hand-in-hand, down to the smooth stone floor. 

Aeris wondered if Sephiroth found their state of dress ironic. Over her golden dress she wore her long black coat, while Sephiroth wore the white healer's cloak Nanaki had found for him. Despite all her words, he frequently thought of them as opposites, she the light and he the darkness. Yes, he probably did think it ironic. 

Sephiroth helped her across the stone pillars to the altar, and the others hung back, remaining on the platform below. It had been explained to them that none of them save Lucrecia would be able to comprehend the full goings-on during the quiet ceremony. Aeris had asked the Planet to marry them, feeling that it would bind them more closely than any human's words. It had been more than happy to oblige her. 

They stood in the center of the altar where Aeris had prayed and Sephiroth had killed her, and they faced each other, deep green eyes locked with pale blue. 

_You have brought yourselves here to reweave the threads of Fate, threads that first brought you here in opposition and now will be made to bind you._ Neither of them had told the Planet why they had chosen this place, nor had they told it what to say. It simply knew. 

_It is not an easy thing, breaking Fate's bonds. You both followed them exactly in your first lives, and you were rewarded and punished with death. But second chances abound for those with such strong wills. I was glad that you could be allowed those chances, and glad that you used them to change what Fate had decided for you. _

You, Aeris, chose to forgive your killer and greatest foe. You chose to overcome your fear and save him from himself. You supported him through every twist and turn. 

You, Sephiroth, chose to live and atone for the wrongs you had done. You chose to aid those who had been your foes, those who hated you, and to destroy those who once had absolute control over you. 

I am very, very glad to be able to join you in this way. My two greatest friends, my two greatest protectors. It hesitated. _I know there are promises that you wish to make and that you wish to keep..._

"Yes, there are many, Planet," Sephiroth agreed, smiling softly as he held Aeris's gaze. "I promise you, Aeris, that I will never hurt you again, and I will do my best to repair what damage I have done. I will protect you always, but I will remember to look after my own life as well. I will never leave your side, in life or in death, and I will fight to keep that privilege if I have to. And most importantly, I will always love you." 

She wanted to kiss him right then and there, but she restrained herself and kept her voice calm. "And Sephiroth, I promise you that I will never let you sacrifice yourself for me again, nor will I do the same for you. We will face everything _together_ from now on, not separately. I will stand by every decision you make. I will help you to atone until you realize that you don't need to anymore, and then I will help you to be the healer that you are. And through everything, I will always love you. 

_Oh yes, you two have learned from your mistakes_, the Planet remarked fondly. _Such bright children of mine. I doubt my intervention will be necessary, but I will make certain that you keep these vows of yours. You are bound by them as surely as your souls are now bound. They have _been_ bound. Set against each other by Fate, but now set together by me._

It paused. _Oh, what is it? 'I now pronounce you man and wife'?_

Aeris laughed. "Yes, Planet, that's it." 

_Yes. I now pronounce you man and wife. Sephiroth, you may kiss your bride._

Sephiroth smiled and bent down to kiss her as she slipped her arms around his neck. Their lips met, and he pulled her closer, one hand at her waist, the other against her face. 

As they stepped apart, their small audience down below applauded, and Aeris started, having forgotten their presence entirely. She smiled and lifted a hand to wave when Sephiroth suddenly swept her off her feet and into his arms, carrying her down to join the others. He set her down gently, and she looked up at him, surprised and pleased that he would do such a thing. 

"That was the truest wedding I've ever witnessed," Lucrecia declared. 

"I didn't even hear all of it, and I agree with her," Elmyra remarked. 

"That was really sweet, you guys," Katrina told them with a grin. 

"Congratulations," Vincent said simply. 

"I am glad you have at last found your answers," Minerva said, bowing her head and then finding each of their gazes with a knowing smile. 

_And I am glad you're not alone anymore_, Ifalna murmured in her mind. _It certainly took long enough._

"Thank you, everyone," Aeris said aloud. "And I'm sorry about you all not being able to hear most of it. The Planet is really so wonderful." 

"It's all right," Elmyra assured her. "It's nice to see you being so open about these things." 

"And anyway," added Katrina, "I thought I could almost hear someone singing." She hesitated, as though thinking over her words and wondering why they were relevant. 

"Then maybe you heard the Planet's song," Aeris suggested. 

"Do you think? But... I'm only human." 

"Human's aren't all completely deaf," she told her with a smile. "Now let's head back to my house. It's warmer there." 

She reached for Sephiroth's hand and found it easily. Found it gloveless. She loved to be able to hold his bare hand in her own; it felt so intimate somehow. She recalled, vaguely, that his hands had been bare when he had killed her. 

Shaking her head slightly, Aeris smiled up at her husband and led the way back up the crystalline staircase with him at her side.

* * *

Leaning against a railing, Aeris watched a crew of seafarers unloading crates from a ship that had just come in. Vincent stood silently beside her, leaving a polite distance between them. This was the tiny coastal village to the south of Bone Village which had sprung up with the flood of refugees from Midgar who had found their way here. 

Few lived here, but the woman at the local general store had told them that the little town was growing. This seemed to be the case with so many towns, even so long after Meteor had torn Midgar apart. Life on the Planet flourished. People no longer had to worry about Shinra troops or reactor explosions or Mako-mutated creatures claiming lives. Children rarely died young, and when they left home, there was no great city of Midgar to swallow them up. 

Lucrecia had wanted to talk to Sephiroth alone, and now Aeris and Vincent waited at the docks for the other two to join them. The others had taken earlier ships home, and the four of them would take the ship to Costa del Sol, from where Vincent and Lucrecia would return to Nibelheim, and she and Sephiroth would take another ship bound for Wutai. 

"So, what's Nibelheim like these days?" Aeris asked of her silent companion. 

"Quiet, as usual," he replied. "But at least now it is a pleasant sort of quiet." 

"Mm. That's good. I remember it felt so edgy there, like everyone was peering suspiciously out of their windows and all the doors were locked." 

"It is no longer like that. No one goes out of their way to be friendly, true, but they will exchange greetings and small talk. They are no longer afraid of me, even." 

Aeris glanced at him. He had long since cut his hair short again, and while he still dressed in dark colors, his clothing was casual and certainly did not make him look as intimidating as that bloodred cloak. Aside from his crimson eyes and his claw, he looked much as he had as a Turk. 

She smiled slightly. "I don't see why they should be, Vincent. Now that you dress like any normal person and smile every now and then, you're really not so scary-looking." 

"Hmph. They should be afraid of me, and not because of this." He lifted the claw, displaying its sharp digits, and then lowered it again. 

"...you're worried about Chaos, aren't you?" she asked softly. 

"Yes. I've told Lucrecia about these demons in my head, but she only smiles and tells me I shouldn't worry so much. I suppose she thinks me in control, but I am not so certain. What if Chaos did break free? What if it hurt her?" 

Aeris frowned thoughtfully. "Chaos only grows belligerent when you're angry, right?" 

"...usually, yes." 

"What reasons do you have now to get angry or call on it for aid, if Lucrecia is by your side? There's nothing left in this world that you'd need Chaos to protect her from, and you certainly won't get angry at her. You should be fine." 

He nodded slightly, and there followed a lengthy silence between them. "Lucrecia... is aging now. Perhaps you've noticed..." 

Aeris shook her head. "No, I hadn't. But... why do you mention it?" 

"Because I am not. I remain the same, always, and..." 

"And that means that she'll grow old and die, but you won't," she concluded with a sigh. She shook her head again and offered him a smile. "You shouldn't worry about that now, not when it's so far off." 

"Aeris, I do not wish to live forever. I do not wish to live without her. When she dies--" 

"You won't go back to your coffin, Vincent," she told him firmly. "I won't let you." 

"Then what? You expect me to continue on without her? She is my lifeline. Without her, I do not belong in this world, and yet I am unable to leave it." 

"You'll have to learn to stand on your own." 

Vincent met her gaze, his crimson eyes searching. "...will you help me?" 

"If I'm still around when that day comes, yes. I'll help you to move on, though I can't imagine what it'll be like for you, to live forever..." 

"I wonder if there is a way for me to die," he mused, looking out at the ocean. "Perhaps Hojo knew, since he made me this way." 

"...you could ask Minerva," Aeris suggested quietly. "Although, I don't think... Vincent, please, if there turns out to be a way, don't give up on life until you truly can't go on." 

"I won't." 

"Promise me?" 

"I promise." 

She nodded, satisfied, and joined him in watching the ways. 

"You know," he began, surprising her that he was starting up the conversation again; he must have had a lot he wanted to get off his chest. "Most of the time, it feels as though she is serving my needs... I should be able to deal with my own problems and give myself to her, shouldn't I?" 

Aeris kept her gaze on the waves, smiling softly. "Vincent, you have to understand something: she wants to help you. She finds joy in just being with you, and making sure that you're okay. I feel the same way about Sephiroth. The best thing in the world to me is seeing him happy. The rest doesn't matter." 

He shook his head slightly. "But Sephiroth is helping you in return. He is healing you." 

"As long as you listen to Lucrecia whenever she needs your ear, as long as you don't keep any secrets from her, you'll do fine. And I'm sure you're doing that." 

"Yes..." 

"So stop worrying about being selfish. You're anything but." 

Vincent nodded. "Thank you, Aeris." 

"You're welcome." 

They stood watching the docks and the ocean for some time longer before Vincent turned away from the railing. Following his gaze, Aeris saw Sephiroth and Lucrecia approaching. 

She smiled and waved. "Hey, you two. Are you all set?" At Lucrecia's quiet 'yes' and Sephiroth's nod, she straightened and started for the dock. "Let's get going then."

* * *

Sephiroth stopped when Wutai came into sight, and he could feel Aeris's concerned gaze on him. When they had arrived at the small coastal town the day before, he had encountered some hostility there. Most who recognized him had warily moved away, but a few had tried to block his path and demanded why he was there. Aeris had managed to calm them down while he had remained silent. 

The town of Wutai itself, however, would be a different story. Here were the people who had not moved on since the war, those whose lives had been destroyed by it, those who had buried their anger deep and never allowed themselves to vent it. The anger of one who lashes out often is nothing to be feared, but the anger of one who has never lashed out... an entirely different story indeed. 

He turned to Aeris, who had been waiting patiently, if anxiously. "Let's go," he said simply. 

She nodded, and together they started for the town. 

The first soul they encountered was a woman with greying hair meandering the path along the river. She lifted her lifeless eyes from the water to look at them, and her gaping mouth slowly settled into a harsh frown, anger sparking in her eyes. She stepped aside silently, but grudgingly, an old wounded pride making her straighten her thin, slumping shoulders and lift her chin in a defiance given up long ago. 

Sephiroth spared her a single glance. He could find no compassion in himself for this poor creature, only pity. Had he done this to her? 

_Yes, you did this to her._

They crossed a bridge over the river, and a little boy standing just outside the swordsmith's called for his father and pointed to the 'strange man with funny hair,' asking 'didn't he look cool?' The boy's father turned from his work to look out the open door. He met the swordsman's gaze with a glare, then called the boy inside and turned his back on this intruder. 

Sephiroth did not look to Aeris for comfort. She was at his side, and that was enough. Had he inspired such hatred in that man's heart? 

_Yes, you made him hate._

Aeris had always said hatred was a terrible thing. 

The crossed another bridge to the Turtle's Paradise, a building artfully suspended over the river. The drunkards whose lives he had destroyed glared sullenly out at him through the open doorway. The barkeeper seemed torn between watching in silence and snatching up something to attack him with. 

One last bridge brought them to solid ground again, and as they walked by the general store, the woman sweeping the entryway lifted her head to watch them. She brandished her broom and cried something obscene and insulting. When Sephiroth failed to reply, she went back to sweeping, muttering under her breath in Wutain. 

_Yes, I killed this town... but perhaps even this wound can be healed. Perhaps I can make amends._

The face of the old man outside Godo's house told him otherwise, but he chose to ignore it and continued his determined pace up the steps to the house, knocking on the red-lacquered door. 

Yuffie opened it, her bright, welcoming face dispelling the beginnings of the emotionless mask Sephiroth had begun to erect. He had no need of protecting himself from this friendly gaze. 

"Hey, guys!" the ninja greeted cheerfully. "I've been expecting you. Come on in." She opened the door wide and held out a hand in a broad gesture that seemed to say the whole house lay open to them. 

"Hi, Yuffie," Aeris replied, smiling as she stepped inside. "How are you?" 

"Great," she answered as she let the door fall shut behind Sephiroth and turned her gaze on him. "Come on, I've got something to show you." 

He followed her down the hall and around a corner, where he saw caught sight of a shrine to the water god Leviathan beyond an open doorway at the end of the hall. A young man sat cross-legged on the floor, and he glanced over his shoulder when he heard them coming. His eyes went immediately to Sephiroth, and he leapt to his feet, moving to stand in the doorway. 

Yuffie went to slide open the door to a room on the right, ignoring him until he cleared his throat loudly. "Yeah?" she queried, glancing at him. 

"What, exactly, is going on here?" 

"Shake, you must be blind," she replied casually. "These are two of my friends, and they're going to be staying here for a while. I'm showing them around." 

"You're a friend of _Sephiroth_'s?" he asked incredulously. "Jeez, that seems pretty low, even for you, Yuffie-chan." 

She glared at him. "Get out, Shake. You will not insult any guests in my house." 

"Okay," Shake said amicably. "But this is Lord Godo's house. When you get one of you of your own, I'll keep that in mind." 

"This is as much my house as it is Dad's," she replied heatedly. "Now leave." 

"Make me." 

Yuffie growled in frustration, and almost looked as though she would drag him bodily from her home. 

"Don't you know, Shake-san," Sephiroth interrupted, speaking in Wutain, his voice dangerously level, "that it takes a great amount of courage and insight to be able to forgive someone you once hated? You ought to be awed that Yuffie has been able to do so. I know I am." 

The young man studied him for a long time, unable to think of a come-back. Finally, he shrugged. "Whatever," he said in Common. "I'll leave--I don't wanna be around when Yuffie and Godo start going at it." He pushed past them, trying to shove Sephiroth out of his way and not succeeding, though the swordsman then stepped back voluntarily. 

"I really hate that kid," Yuffie muttered once he was out of ear-shot. 

"I can't imagine why," Sephiroth remarked. 

The ninja grinned at him, then turned into the room on the right. "Anyway, come on. You've gotta see what Aeris got you." 

The swordsman glanced at Aeris with raised eyebrows, and she smiled, motioning him forward into the room. 

It looked like Yuffie's bedroom, actually. The casual, almost-but-not-quite haphazard placement of the meager furniture and decorations, the lack of frills or presumptuous grandeur, and the subtle suggestion that she didn't need them to announce her importance. There was one incongruity, however, shoved uncertainly into a corner--a piano. 

Sephiroth stared at it, knowing this had to be what he was supposed to see and failing to grasp the concept that it was _his_. It was hardly brand-new, but its worn appearance made it seem almost familiar, like something he had once owned. But he had never owned a piano, and he knew he had never set eyes on this particular instrument before. He looked to Aeris, silently asking for an explanation. 

"I didn't expect to find it either," she admitted. "Especially not in Midgar. But there it was. The man at the shop said it'd been salvaged recently from the wreck of Sector 8, repaired, and given a fresh coat of paint." 

He nodded, wondering how she could have afforded it but not asking. He decided he would rather not know. "I see. And... it's mine?" 

"Yes, it's yours." 

"I shall have to learn how to play," he decided, smiling faintly. 

Yuffie looked at Aeris incredulously. "You got him a piano, and he doesn't even know how to play?" 

"He knows," she replied. "He just can't read music, so he likes to think he can't play." 

"Oh, I get it. Just Seph being Seph." She turned to him with a grin. "Why don't you play something for us?" 

"...all right." He walked to the piano, set the bag he carried down beside it, and slowly settled himself onto the small bench. What could he play? he wondered. He cast out with his mind until he could hear the Planet's song, and as he laid his fingers on the keys, they began to play an accompaniment. 

Sephiroth could sense the Planet turning its attention towards him in curiosity. He could feel the two women's eyes on his hands and the keys that they flew effortlessly across. He played until a loud, familiar voice demanded: 

"What's going on in here?" 

The notes died in the air. The knowing smile faded from Aeris's face. Yuffie's appreciative gaze gave way to anxiety. Sephiroth stood slowly and turned around to see Godo standing in the doorway. 

The swordsman bowed his head. "I was only playing the piano, Lord Godo. I apologize if it was not to your liking." 

"Not to my liking?" Godo repeated incredulously. "What does your piano-playing have to do with anything? What are you doing in my house?" 

"I was invited," he answered calmly. 

"Yuffie?" 

She did not flinch when her father's angry gaze turned on her. "Yes, Dad, I invited him. Both of them. This is Aeris," she went on, gesturing to her friend. "You remember, I told you about them." 

"Yes, I remember," he replied slowly. "But I do not remember you telling me that they would be coming to my house." 

"Well... I was worried that if I told you, you'd freak." 

"You would rather I 'freaked' on finding them here unexpectedly?" 

Yuffie fell silent. 

Godo turned back to Sephiroth. "I have heard about all that you've done. I have also heard that you've changed. I know the war was a long time ago, but I want you out of my house. Leave, now." 

"Wait a minute, Lord Godo," Aeris interceded. "Sephiroth's come to atone for what he did here when he was part of Shinra. You should know as well as any of us that he wasn't the one who started the war. He was only doing his job as Shinra's general, but--" 

"He did not have to do his job at all," Godo interrupted. "Any man who worked for Shinra was no better than President Shinra himself." 

She shook her head, frowning. "That's not true. Many good people have worked for Shinra because they needed the money, and most of them didn't know the terrible things that went on in that company." 

"You mean to tell me that Sephiroth didn't know what he was doing?" 

"No, but--" 

"Aeris, please," Sephiroth cut in, glancing at her and conveying through his gaze that he wanted to do this on his own. "No, Lord Godo, I knew quite well what I was doing and of Shinra's corruption. I fought for them because I believed I had no other choice, that that was all I could do. I was _created_ to fight for them. But I know this is no excuse, and I expect no forgiveness from you for what I did." 

Godo raised an eyebrow. "Then what do you expect?" 

"A chance." 

"A chance? Do you expect any Wutain, much less the man who had to surrender to you, to be able to give you a chance?" 

"Your daughter did," Sephiroth pointed out. 

"My daughter can be irrational." 

"I don't think so." 

Godo snorted. "Then you're a fool. Especially for thinking you could come back here and enter my house. Get out." 

"I am not sure you have the authority to order me from this house." 

"What? What do you mean, no authority? What right do you have to defy me?" 

"There is someone here whose authority outweighs your own, and she invited me here." 

"You can't mean _Yuffie_," Godo said incredulously. 

Sephiroth nodded. "I do. She is Wutai's leader now, not you. You gave up that title a long time ago, when you gave up on Wutai. I've seen the people of this town. I know I was the one who inflicted these wounds on them, but I know you were the one who failed to alleviate their pain. Your daughter, at least, has tried." 

Godo's eyes had narrowed. "Get out of here!" he ordered. 

"You have no right to order me from this house," the swordsman maintained. 

"It is _my_ house!" 

"And you've given up the authority to command me from it. You are no longer Wutai's leader." 

"Yes, I am! How dare you come here and denounce me? How dare you come into my house and insult me? Get out of here before I have to drag you out myself!" 

Sephiroth stood his ground, calm and unimpressed. The two women remained silent, their expressions not unlike awe. "You are fooling no one but yourself. I will remain unless Yuffie tells me otherwise." 

"You impudent bastard!" Godo cried, looking as though he might strike the taller man. 

Yuffie quickly intervened, hurrying over to lay a hand on her father's arm. "Dad, calm down." 

"Calm down? But he's--!" 

"I know. I know what you think. It's hard hearing it from him, isn't it? But it's true." 

He looked at her in horror. "How can you say that?" 

"Look, it's _been_ true. What have you done to help Wutai since the war? You sleep practically all the time, and when you're not sleeping, you just stay in your room anyway. I don't know what the hell you do in there all day, but _I_'m the one who's been trying to get this country back on its feet. And I've made progress. You _know_ I've made progress." 

Godo nodded in grudging affirmation. 

"So I thought I'd earned the right to invite my friends into my home. _My_ home. So what if one of them is the man who led armies against us? So what? That was fifteen years ago. Fifteen years! Sephiroth's been through a lot since then. He _has_ changed. He wants to help, and frankly, I think I could use his help. It's for Wutai, Dad. Is that so wrong?" 

"But he... He's Sephiroth. I had to surrender to him. Do you have any idea what it will look like if it's known that our enemy is living in my... our house?" 

"And do you know what it will look like if it's known that he's helping us?" 

He fell silent. 

"I know it'll hurt your pride. But he's not asking you to forgive him. He just wants a chance, and I think he deserves it. It's been a long time since he's stood up for himself, you know. That says something." 

"And just what does it say?" 

"That he's been able to forgive himself. You might think it silly, but that's a huge thing. He used to hate himself, more than I used to hate him, more than you hate him." 

Godo scoffed. "How do you know?" 

"I'm not blind," Yuffie replied, rolling her eyes. "Now, what do you say?" 

Her father sighed, and he turned to look at Sephiroth. His gaze was no less hostile than it had been, but it was hostility held in check. "All right. You'll have your chance. But don't let me see you too often." 

Sephiroth bowed his head. "Very well, Lord Godo." 

Godo's gaze swept around the room, as though trying to establish ownership, and, failing that, he turned and left. 

Yuffie let out a breath and plopped down in the middle of the floor. "Gods." 

"Well," said Aeris. "He consented, and that's something." 

"Indeed," Sephiroth agreed. 

The ninja looked up at him. "Thanks, for saying what you did. He's needed to hear it for a long time, but I've been too scared to tell him." 

He shrugged it off. "Thank you for helping me to convince him. I could not have done it on my own." 

"Yeah, he's a stubborn old goat," Yuffie agreed. 

Aeris laughed a little. "In any case, Sephiroth, it was nice to see you stand up for yourself." 

He turned to her, a half-smile on his face. "Was it?" 

"Yes. Because I know what Yuffie said is completely true." 

He smiled more broadly and nodded. 

"Anyway," Yuffie said. "He interrupted you. Finish the song, why don't you?" 

"But Yuffie, he can't finish it." 

"Why not?" 

"Because the Planet won't stop singing." 

The ninja tilted her head. "What does that have to do with... Oh. Well, play some more of it then. And end it better this time." 

Shaking his head, Sephiroth walked back to the piano bench to comply.

* * *

If Sephiroth's arm had not been firmly around her, Aeris might have worried about falling. It was a long drop from where they sat at the highest point on Da-chao, but his strong hand on her shoulder let her forget her fear and focus on the view. 

Wutai stretched out below them, a study of red-highlighted buildings against clear blue water. In the spring and summer, the green of the forests contrasted with this crimson, but for now the trees remained bare-limbed and fragile. Beyond the town, plains stretched out westward to meet distant mountains. 

"It certainly is beautiful," Aeris remarked. 

"Yes," Sephiroth agreed. 

"I told Yuffie so, and she said 'wait until you see it in the fall.'" 

He nodded slightly. "It is lovely in the fall." 

"You've seen it?" 

"Yes. Though I was not paying much attention to the view." 

She did not reply to this. "I think things are going much more smoothly than when we first came. It's only been a week, but I can already feel the difference." 

"That woman at the general store actually smiled at me today," Sephiroth told her. 

"They'll all be smiling at you after a few months," Aeris assured him. 

"You think so?" 

She nodded. "Yes." 

"They accepted you from the beginning," he said, almost fondly. "It does not bother them in the slightest that you are my wife." 

"And why should it?" 

"Some people do judge you by the company you keep." 

Aeris smiled slightly. "I know. But not these people. And you know what? They seem so much more... alive, than when we first arrived." 

"You must be having an effect on them," he told her. 

"I think you're helping, too," she said. 

"Oh?" Sephiroth wondered. 

"Mmhm. You're not just reopening old wounds, you're a sign that those wounds can be healed. Anyone who isn't blind can see that just by looking at you." 

"Well, that's your fault entirely," he told her, but she knew he was joking. _You can't help someone unless they want to help themselves._

* * *

Author's Notes  
**THE END.** Just so there's no confusion. X3 

The arrival in Wutai scene makes this my favorite of the "extra" chapters, and probably the main argument in favor of keeping them. However, the very last scene in the story, actually in a separate pseudo-chapter called the Afterwards, got cut. I just couldn't justify keeping it because I'd tied up whatever loose ends it was supposed to address in earlier parts. 

But, phew. Glad this is finally finished with so I can stop reserving brain power for it. Because I've kept going back to it, it's stayed in the back of my mind for months, but now I'll be able to focus more on my other projects. Yes, I've got some other fanfics in the works. I may put them up here, but only after editing them, I think. They won't require the extensive editing that LFA did because they're far more structured, but it might still be a while before I get around to doing it. I guess we'll see. In the meantime you can find them on my website. (Along with a fair amount of artwork for Fallen.) 

Well, kiddies, it's been fun. :D 


End file.
